A Sirius Change

Chapter 8:Changes

He tried to hug her again, but she pulled away.

She looked down at the ground and then back up at him."Because I might be one of them," she said in a choked whisper.

Sirius pulled back.“What on earth are you talking about?”

“Can we not talk about this now?”Cordelia responded, keeping her voice low.“We have to get Draco healed.”

She turned back to the medical team and spoke softly.Sirius watched her.She seemed so comfortable with these people.It was obvious she had not been treated as a captive.If she wasn’t a captive, why hadn't she come home as soon as they would let her?An awful feeling began to spread through the pit of his stomach.He began to wonder if maybe she didn’t even want him to rescue her.Maybe she wanted to stay.He never dreamed this would be her reaction to his arrival.

As she moved away from the medical team, he took her arm and pulled her aside and asked, “Do you want me here?”

“Of course, darling.I’m thrilled to see you.”She appeared honestly stunned at his question, but he could still detect a certain remoteness.

“You don’t look thrilled.”

“Sirius, Draco is bleeding internally.One thing at a time.” She held up a hand to hold him off and turned back to the team as they began to move from the corridor.

They followed the medical team back towards the core of the Lair.The doctors split off with Draco towards the medical wing, and Cordelia directed Sirius down a series of halls.

“May I ask how you are?” Sirius ventured once they were out of earshot of everyone else.

“I’m fine,” she answered.She had walked beside him, but not touched him.He had gotten close enough to take her hand when she shoved them in her pockets.

“This is not fine, Cordelia.This is fucking weird.”He hadn’t intended for anger to creep into his voice, but that seemed to be the emotion that was coming out.He was trying very hard for calm, but confusion, rejection, fear, and anger seemed to be winning.

“Of course it’s weird.It’s been weird ever since I got here…”

He grabbed her arm and spun her towards him, “Then tellme…”

“Not here.Not now.”She broke free and walked off.

She was moving faster now.“How are the kids?” she asked, looking straight ahead.

“They want to know where you are.”

“What did you tell them?”

“That you were away at work and that you would be coming back with me.”Sirius paused and forced the words out.“Are you coming back with me?”He held his breath, afraid of just what her answer might be.He noticed his hands were shaking, and it felt like he’d swallowed a large block of ice.

“Of course,” she said matter-of-factly, as they arrived at a door that she unlocked with a key.

***********

The room was moderately sized, without any windows.It had an overstuffed couch and chair in a small sitting area,and a large king sized bed in an alcove.She knew he’d be confused, but she felt very awkward and unsure of how to handle everything she needed to tell him.She also knew that if she started before they were alone, she might break down in the middle of the corridor.She did not want to do that in any public area.If she could maintain a distance from everyone, she could hold it together long enough to get through.

“I got a room with a bathtub, a luxury in these parts.I think the Rex actually wants to make it up to me,” she said with slight smile and a wave towards the right as they entered the room.

“Make what up?”

“I’ll get to that.Let me wash up, I’ll be just a minute.”

Cordelia scrubbed the blood off her hands and splashed water on her face.As she was drying her face, she tried to control her breathing.Her heart was pounding and she felt like she was about to fly apart.Not just break down, but explode.Not just emotionally, but her skin felt thin and weak, like it wouldn’t hold together if she started to feel anything.One more deep breath and she opened the door and rejoined Sirius.“So, where to begin,” she started in a business like manner, pacing in front of the bed.

Sirius stepped towards her, took her arm, and turned her to him, “Can we begin with a kiss?I’ve been out of my mind since you disappeared.It was days before we even had a clue where you might be, and there was that chance you were dead, so can I please express how awfully glad I am to see you alive and well, despite whatever the bloody hell it is you think we need to talk about?”

“I’m sorry.Yes, of course.”Her tone was abrupt, and even to her sounded slightly impatient.Sirius had a look of confusion on his face, but he kissed her anyway.

Cordelia tried to maintain some sort of physical and emotional distance, but once that contact was made, she couldn’t help but begin to relax.She tried to stop it.She tried to hold on to that carapace that she’d constructed since she woke up here.She was stiff and awkward in his arms for the first time since their first date.He was stroking her back; that usually got to her.Normally she’d tell him anything if he was rubbing her back.He was so warm and so strong.She thought to herself that perhaps she could lean on him, just a little bit.Maybe she would have the strength to keep going.He turned her head towards him and kissed her, very gently.He continued the gentle kissing; her eyes, her cheeks, her ears, her neck.It felt so good to be with him again.She’d missed him fiercely, which was another reason she’d distanced herself from everyone, including herself.As he kissed up her neck to her cheeks again she felt him begin to lick her cheeks. She realized there were tears streaming from her eyes, despite her best efforts to the contrary.He turned her face towards him and looked into her eyes. “Tell me,” he whispered.

She tried to take a deep breath, to get back in control, to stuff everything back into place so she could be rational and tell him what happened.She knew him and realized there were parts of the story that he would get very angry at - hell, there were parts of the story that she would get very angry at, but she couldn’t allow herself that anger.She couldn’t.She’d explode if she let herself feel anything.But now he was here and his touch felt so soothing and comfortable.She could feel the world thawing and her emotions starting to push through the shell in which she’d encased them.She couldn’t seem to get that breath.He put his forehead against hers and kissed her again, and the shell shattered.

She collapsed in his arms, and she cried, she beat on his chest, she threw whatever she could get her hands on, she cried some more.All wordless, sometimes screaming.All the emotions, but none of the logic or rational thought came to the surface.He stood there, sometimes ducking when something went flying towards him, but just standing.How could he be calm?Her world had changed yet again and it was his fault.If she’d never met him, or if she hadn’t come back after he told her everything, or if she hadn’t married him … this wouldn’t have happened.Just as before, she didn’t want her whole world to change.She loved her life just as it was.She had been content before she met him and he changed everything about her world, now this!The room was trashed and she stood by the couch for a minute trying to decide whether to rip the cushions apart, but it suddenly dawned on her that if none of that had happened, she wouldn’t have had Charlie and Ian and she wouldn’t have him.Finally she collapsed on the couch and cried and cried and cried.She wasn’t even really aware of what he was doing.When she finally began to calm again, she realized she was settled on his lap.He was murmuring nothing sounds into her ear, smoothing her hair, and rubbing her back.He was kissing the tears away.She breathed deeply and let out a great shuddering breath and shook her head back.

“Whew, sorry about that,” she laughed nervously.“I meant to tell you everything first and then, if there was time, I was going to break down like that.”

He just looked at her with those warm brown eyes and smiled.“Good plan, but this works too.”

She took a deep cleansing breath and wiped at the tears on her face.“I guess.God, where do I start?”

“Well, last I saw you, you were cleaning up a glass in the kitchen.You could start there.”

Cordelia leaned back on the arm of the couch and let out a short laugh, “Yes, I guess I could start there.”

There were a few times in the telling of the tale that Cordelia was glad she was still sitting in his lap.He started to get angry when he heard she’d been attacked, but she put her hand on his chest and he let her continue.

“About five days ago they examined me and ran a series of tests.The tests determined how the excess energy, generated by the lycanthropic infection, is used by each individual.Some get excess strength, wizards might get an extra boost to their magic, I got the ability to direct that energy into others, which is why I was on the team to greet you.They were training me to direct it into someone to help them heal a wound.Apparently that’s where my energy likes to go.If I don’t need to heal I can also use it to add a boost to other’s energy.Kind of like a good cup of coffee.”

She could still tell that Sirius was holding very tight to his control, “But they infected you against your will.Aren’t you the least angry?”

“What do you think that whole little display of hysteria was driven by?It’s kind of a wimpy way to express it, but yeah, I’m very angry.But I’ve had no place to put that anger.I can’t direct it at them, I’m one of them.I need to learn as much as possible from them.If I were angry I couldn’t learn.I do have an appointment this afternoon to meet with the Rex.He was going to allow me to determine the punishment of the guards that did this to me.So I guess I’ve held off on the anger until I see them again.Given what just happened, and the fact that you’re here now, I guess you’ll be able to help as well.Can you handle that?”She was suddenly worried about his control again.She realized she had no idea what he’d gone through since she’d been gone.That worried her.

Sirius took a deep breath that shuddered as it went out.He rubbed his hands over his face and looked at her earnestly.“Can I just kill all four of them?That would work for me, at the moment.”

“I think there are less permanent methods.I’ve heard stories that the punishments can be quite severe.Let’s wait and see what’s offered.”

He gave her a quick peck on the lips and then got out from under her and stood up.“They’d best be severe after the damage they’ve done to us.”He was losing his temper now and began to pace.

“Sirius, I’m okay.Draco will be okay.I wasn’t permanently harmed, neither was he.I want them punished, but not dead.”

“Cordelia!You just got finished telling me they made you into a wereleopard!How much more permanent is that!”Sirius was shouting by now.“Do you have any idea the fear and prejudice that goes along with lycanthropy?Not to mention the pain associated with the change and the utter uncontrollability of being a wild animal?”

Cordelia never did like being lectured.It made her a bit defensive.“It’s not like that here.”

“Maybe not here, but everywhere else on the planet.Ask Remus, he can tell you about years of starving because of what he was.I can’t believe you’d be so naïve.”

“It’s different with wereleopards.They support each other.”

“Support, hell.How do you know they don’t just eat each other!”

“Sirius!Stop it.”She stared at him for a long moment.“Okay.I haven’t changed yet, so I have no clue what it’s all about.That’s why they were keeping me here.They wanted me to be here during my first change.The full moon’s in two days, so I’ll learn then.But they really do have a completely different attitude than any of the werewolves I’ve ever heard of.They talk a lot about control and finding safe outlets and secure areas in which to hunt.They talk about not continually fighting the change, but welcoming it when you need to.They say that makes a big difference.”

Sirius shook his head, “Maybe, but you’ve got to realize that this is permanent and it is a burden.You will have to constantly keep track of what phase the moon is in and plan your life around that.We’ll have to plan around that.What happens if Charlie’s graduation is on the night of a full moon?Do we bring mum or the leopard to the ceremony?”

Suddenly her anger was gone and she was just plain homesick.She settled back onto the couch.“Intellectually I know it’s permanent.I’ve had nearly two weeks to think about this.But, I haven’t allowed myself to feel about it, so yeah, it’s still a bit surreal.So is this something you can live with?Or is it too much?I thought you’d be all right with it because of Remus.”

Sirius looked shocked, “Of course I can live with this!What?Did you think I’d abandon you over this?”

“No … well … maybe.A lot of the leopards I’ve talked to have lost significant others.I was 95% sure you wouldn’t dump me because of this, but, that 5% was scared shitless that you would.”

“I love you no matter what.Hell, I turned myself into a dog for a friend, I’d let them infect me if they could for you.”

“They told me you couldn’t get it.”

“Yeah, I know.That’s one of the reasons we did it.So we could keep Remus companywhen he was a werewolf and not worry about the infection.”

Sirius sat down next to her.She turned her head into his shoulder and began to cry again.She could feel Sirius holding her again.Finally the tears seemed to stop.She thought to herself that she probably had used up her tear supply for the month.She turned her face towards his and began to kiss him.The kiss grew, until it was warm and deep and not a little arousing.His hand caressed her shoulder and down her arm and she could feel all sorts of things tighten in her body.It felt delicious to be touched again.As her breathing was getting shallower, she felt the first stirrings of it.She’d felt it when they tested her for the first time, but that was under very controlled circumstances.They’d warned her as well.This was the cat coming out to play.

Sirius continued to kiss her, moving his mouth down her neck.She leaned her head back, enjoying the feelings of his tongue on her earlobe, his body pressing up against hers, but the cat wanted to stretch.It stretched and she felt it move around down low inside her.Sirius was leaning her back and reaching under her shirt.The cat was climbing up and smelling the warmth and flesh that was Sirius in a way that wasn’t comforting.With that, she remembered what they had told her.She pushed him away and jumped up off the couch.

“We can’t.Not now.Dr. MacGregortold me not to have sex before the full moon.I didn’t think it would be a problem because you weren’t here.”

“Why no sex?”

“She said it was very easy for a leopard to emerge before the full moon if the person loses control.And I felt it, Sirius.It felt like this giant cat was waking up and climbing around inside me.”

Sirius took a deep breath.She could tell he was trying to get himself back under control.His hands were shaky and he didn’t say anything for a very long time.Cordelia sat down on the bed, as far from him as she could.

There was a knocking on the door.Cordelia got up to answer it.“Who is it?” she asked through the door.

“It’s me, Lisette.”Cordelia opened the door, just enough to look out.“The Rex requests you and your husband to join him in his office.”

“I think that’s just a fucking wonderful idea,” Sirius said, approaching the door.

That Cordelia could sense the irritation in his voice was an understatement, but she just wasn’t sure who it was directed at.

“Give us a minute,” she asked quietly.

“I’ll be out here when you’re ready,” Lisette assured.

Cordelia closed the door and leaned against it.“Are you angry at me?”

Sirius' face relaxed.“No, I’m sorry.I don’t like being summoned, and I thought we were going to be alone for awhile, even if we can’t have sex.How long until the full moon?Can you have sex after?”

Cordelia was relieved and laughed."Yes, in fact they say the safest time to have wild, lose all control, sex is just after the full moon.They told me the desire to change is lowest then, so control isn’t as necessary.”

“How long until the full moon again?”Sirius asked, with a tight smile on his face.

“Two days,” she said in a falsely exasperated tone as she pushed him to the door.

As he was going through the door he turned and caught her up in his arms, “God, it’s good to see you.When we get back remind me to tell you about my month.”

“Oh, I’d never forget.Have you been sleeping?” Cordelia hesitated to ask, but was compelled to pursue this.

“No,” he said, as Lisette began to lead them down the corridors.

“Nightmares?” she asked softly.

“Yes.”

“Flashbacks?”Cordelia was looking at him intently.She was worried now.

“No.”

“Blackouts?”

“Yes.”

“You’re scaring me.”

“I was scaring myself, and Dr. Huebner was getting really tired of seeing me every day.”

“Every day?”

Sirius nodded, but looked straight ahead.

Cordelia put her hand in his and continued walking.Dear Lord, what had those weeks been like for him.She knew he’d be worried, but …

********

“Welcome, Mr. and Mrs. Black.Please sit down and make yourself comfortable.I imagine we have a lot to discuss.”

“Yes, we do,” said Sirius as he took a seat on the rattan couch, Cordelia next to him and The Rex across the table from them.

“First and foremost, let me apologize for the way you were both greeted when you arrived.We are fanatical about security and no one gets within our Lair without an invitation.Typically, anyone who breeches our defences is incapacitated, questioned, then killed.We do this to maintain the secrecy of this location and the security of the wereleopards as a species.

“You should be well aware of how lycanthropy is treated, Mr. Black.I have heard you have a very good friend who is a werewolf.”

“That’s correct.”

“Then you can appreciate the secrecy in which we work.This Lair is a place of sanctuary for the leopards.If its location was discovered, we would be subject to extermination as most of the other lycanthropic peoples are.Over the thousands of years of our existence as an organized structure, there have been many attempts to locate and destroy us.We have not allowed it before, and will not allow it this time."

“So attacking first and asking questions later isstandard operating procedure?”

“Yes it is, Mr. Black.”

“So will there be no repercussions to the guards who infected my wife and nearly killed a member of my team?”

“I did not say that, Mr. Black.There will, most certainly, be repercussions.Particularly for the guards who infected your wife.The guards are not used to non-lycanthropes arriving on their door-steps.There are assistants here, but they have a particular way of arriving that lets us know they are invited.When your wife popped in here unannounced, the guards reacted as if she were an armed invasion.However, we are very strict about not infecting accidentally.The guard should have been using a sword, blade, or gun, and should not have used his claws.He was young and will be punished.”

“What is the punishment?” Sirius asked.

“It is Mrs. Black’s choice.We could have him killed.That would eliminate him, permanently, as a threat to others.”

Cordelia was startled.“No, I don’t want that.Does he realize it was a mistake?”

“He does.He has been in confinement since you arrived, as has his partner.”

“What other options are there?" Cordelia asked, almost afraid of the answer.

“The next most severe is the loss of a limb, generally it would be the offending arm.The wound would be cauterised and the limb presented to the injured party.”

“His arm?”Cordelia grimaced, she did not particularly want to have someone’s arm to take home as a souvenir.“No, I don’t want that either.”

Cordelia noticed Sirius had gotten very good at maintaining a blank face in the midst of negotiations, and this surely was a negotiation.

The Rex continued, “If you don’t want his life or his limb, our next most severe punishment is binding with silver and medicating them during the full moon so that they are not permitted to change.This is more a psychological punishment.”

“I understand the restraint, but I don’t understand why preventing their shifting would be punishment.”

“You will,” he said simply.

Sirius interrupted, “Cordelia and I haven’t discussed this, but I think our goal here is not vengeance, although I’m a bit more partial to it than she is, but preventing this from happening again.”

“If your goal is not vengeance, and I would be hell bent on vengeance if my wife was attacked as your's was, Mr. Black, then may I suggest a public marking, with a confinement, and removal from duty for a period of time?”

“Is your wife a leopard?”

“Yes, she is, but she was one before we met, as was I.I am strongly opposed to those who want to inflict this infection on their mate.It was a common practice, and strongly encouraged by previous Rexes, but I am not convinced that it helped the community.”

Cordelia cut in, “So what kind of mark is this? And how long will the guards bedetained?”

“For your attack, Mrs. Black, the mark would be on the face.It would be cauterised and plainly visible to all.They would also be confined for at least three moons.They would be allowed to shift, but would not be allowed to join the Pard outside the cavern for the hunt.They would be fed, but it would be inside in a confining cell.”

“That seems acceptable.What about the guards who attacked Sirius and Draco?”

“Who is this Draco?”

“He was the man who accompanied me and got cut up in the process,” Sirius interjected.

“The man you healed?” he asked, turning his head towards Cordelia.

“Yes,” she said simply.

“Typically, those guards would not be punished.They were doing their job.If you had negotiated a passage, Mr. Black, you would not have been attacked.”

“You said you had my wife and I was not allowed to communicate with her or come get her.”Sirius was trying, but not altogether succeeding, in maintaining a neutral demeanour.

“Yes.We could not permit you to do that.”Sirius opened his mouth to argue and The Rex held out his hand to stop him.“You could have communicated with me, opened a diplomatic channel and negotiated passage.You chose to arrive unannounced.Would other leaders within the Federation permit you such liberties?”

Sirius thought about all the preparations necessary for him to come to a country.He could come as a tourist, but if it were an official visit from the Deputy Chancellor, it was preceded by months of negotiation about who would attend what meetings and what fork could be used on the monkey brain salad.“I’m sorry.I did not fully appreciate your status as a head of state.Our previous reports and intelligence placed you as a violent organization.You can imagine my dismay that you were holding my wife captive.”

“Your wife was detained for her own safety.We have used violent means in the past when our privacy was invaded.I may not control much territory, but I control the international wereleopard community.We have a limited area of sanctuary here and I will not allow violation of that sanctuary, no matter what the cost.”

“The lives of the members of the survey team were nothing to you,” Sirius stated coldly.

“They had been warned.We sent communications to all parties involved, telling them to stop the project.”

“Did you identify who you were and what you wanted?”

“If we identified the land we did not want them to touch, we would have violated the secrecy that makes this place a sanctuary.”

“How can you expect to be treated as a sovereign nation when you don’t want to identify who you are?You can’t protect that which can not be defined.”

“We realize we are not a sovereign nation, Mr. Black, but we will protect this place.We had an advisor who recommended a strong message be sent to any violators.”

“Who is your advisor?”

“A gentleman named Avian Peregrine.”

Sirius sat there stunned.Too stunned to comment.

Cordelia touched his arm. “I take it you know the name?”

Sirius shook his head, trying to think clearly again.“Yes, … umm …yes, in fact, we think he’s been responsible for all the accidents we’ve been having lately.”

“You know Avian?” the Rex asked.

“Yes.Rather well, I’m afraid.He seems to be under the impression I killed his brother,” Sirius replied.

“Did you?”The Rex raised an eyebrow.It seemed he was evaluating the potential for Sirius to have been a killer.

“No, I did not.I was there when an unfortunate accident took place, but I did not kill him.I was tried for that and acquitted,” Sirius stated flatly.

The Rex considered this for a moment.“I see.He has been advocating a strategy of unrest and giving these activities the appearance of being initiated by both the Muggle and Magical governments.”

“I know those two governments are at each other’s throats over this.Cordelia was supposed to be trying to ease the tensions before she was taken,” Sirius acknowledged.

“Your wife was not taken, she came on her own accord,” the Rex insisted.

“Fine, I’ve had two weeks to think of her as taken, forgive me for using the wrong phrasing,” Sirius said icily.

“I was not aware that your wife was initiating mediation efforts.That shows wisdom I was led to believe you did not have, Mr. Black.”

“What do you mean?”Sirius was surprised.

“Mr. Peregrine had persuaded me that you were very inflexible, and that the only way of accomplishing our goal of protecting our people was to be aggressive.He stated that if we could start a large conflict between the Indian Magical Council and the Muggle government, the consortium would conclude that the risk of putting a pipeline in such a conflicted region was too high and quit the project.Meanwhile, you would be discredited for failing to keep the harmony between the Muggle and Wizarding governments.I must say his descriptions of you were not as accurate as I would have liked.”

“How was I described?”

“Unreasonable, sometimes illogical.He said you had a violent temper and made capricious decisions.He assured me you would come down in favour of violent reprisals against us if you found we did truly exist.He also said you would advocate our violent eradication if you found out about us.”

Sirius looked confused.“Our intelligence provided good information of your existence and I have a rather long record in my tenure of facilitating cooperation with not only Muggle governments, but business as well. Were you not aware of that?”

“I have much to do right here, Mr. Black.I unwisely relied upon Mr. Peregrine to update me on the political situation in the rest of the world.That will not happen again.”

“So what exactly do you want?” Sirius asked.

“I want our people to be safe.That means the pipeline project needs to be moved.I realize the path over these caverns is the most direct route, but there is too much risk that we will be seen entering and leaving the cavern.I wish all activity to be at least ten miles north or south.”

“We can present your proposal to the consortium, but we need to give them a reason, if you don’t want the identity of your location to be discovered.”

“Yes, the need for secrecy limits us in the demands we make.If we come out in public and state who we are and why we want the pipeline moved, we reveal our location and defeat the purpose.If we stay hidden and make no demands, they come through here and discover us anyway.Are you familiar with the phrase Catch-22?”

Cordelia broke in at this point, “Could we stop the violent attacks and look for another solution?”

“As I’ve told you, Mrs. Black, we are not a violent people.All we want is to be safe, and that means absolute secrecy.”

“Do you know what other animals make this area their home?” Cordelia asked.

“Yes, we know exactly which animals are plentiful and which ones are rare.We don’t want to over hunt our backyard.We are hunters, but destroying the variety of the prey would do us no good.”

“So could we approach this from an endangered species angle?Are there any animals or plants that are nearly extinct?”

They both looked at her.

“That has potential,” Sirius said, stroking his chin.“If you can give us an inventory of plants and animals in this area, and we’ll try to see if any of these could change the route of the pipeline without revealing why.”

“Yes, we could assemble that list rather quickly.We will forward that to your office as soon as we complete it.”

“Send it to Cordelia’s attention.She’ll know better what to do with it, and it won’t get lost in my paperwork.”

The Rex nodded.

“What are you going to do about Peregrine?”Sirius asked.

“He will no longer be welcome here.I heard you mention he had been causing you additional trouble?”

Sirius laughed, but not humorously.“Yes.Seems he is responsible for a number of events directed to making it appear that I’m violent and losing my memory.Cordelia was poisoned, my son was pushed down a flight of stairs, a business I was visiting was blown up, and I’m not sure Cordelia arriving here was entirely an accident.Did Peregrine know about your welcoming policy?”

“Yes, he had been cautioned numerous times to approach the guards with care, and instructed to use the proper procedure when arriving unexpectedly.”

“So he knew what would happen if a stranger arrived here?” Sirius asked.

“Yes, he did.”

“I see.”

“We could add him to the list of people to punish on your behalf, but I doubt he will come here again.However, if he does he will be subject to banishment and memory modification.”

“Do you have any more interactions scheduled?”

“No, he was scheduled to arrive just after the full moon for further strategy sessions, but I cancelled the meeting once you arrived, Mr. Black.I knew he harboured negative personal opinions about you.I did not know how far he had gone to harm you and your family.”

This time Sirius nodded acknowledgement.

The Rex requested further refreshments from an assistant that waited just outside the door.Once they arrived, he settled back onto the couch and said “Tonight after dinner, both sets of guards will receive their punishment.I do regret your wife was infected, but I also want to assure you we will take good care of her through her first change.Do either of you have any questions?”

Sirius looked at Cordelia, she indicated that he could go on.“As you’ve noted, I have a good friend who is a werewolf.Will Cordelia’s changes be like that?”

“They may or may not be, depending on a lot of different circumstances.”

“What do you mean?” Sirius asked.

“Tell me if I’m wrong, but your werewolf friend changes only at the full moon and it is a lonely, painful, frightening thing.”

“It has been in the past.He uses the wolfsbanepotion now, so it’s not as bad.”

The Rex grimaced.“We do not use that potion.It dulls the senses and turns a natural process into a drug induced lethargy for more than forty-eight hours.I have tried a similar potion for leopards and dislike it.There are also serious consequences if a lycanthrope is not allowed to hunt and feed.They tend to have increasingly more painful changes and it becomes increasingly difficult to hunt, feed, and enjoy the altered state.”

“Enjoy?”Sirius was incredulous.Cordelia was silent.She’d heard this before and didn’t really believe it any more than Sirius apparently did.

“Yes, Mr. Black, enjoy.Did you know a werewolf has the ability to change at anytime?A leopard does as well.It takes control not to change during certain circumstances.If that change is continually controlled, the energy must be diverted somehow.If it is not diverted, it will come out violently and painfully at the full moon.If a leopard changes when he or she sees fit during the month, the full moon will not have as strong an impact.If they learn to fully control their leopard, the change becomes a part of them and an experience that some do enjoy.”

“So are you saying, because my friend resists, that’s why it’s so painful for him?”

“Yes.If he welcomed the change more, it would not be so difficult.I imagine he never had any support either.”

“He had us.”

“Ah, but your shift is completely different from the lycanthropic shift.You could be with him, but true support means you know what they go through and can help them deal with it.”

“So you’re saying that belonging to a Pard is like a large support group.”

“Yes, just like that.If one member is experiencing discrimination or pain, another can be there either to facilitate a change or prevent it.”

“Prevent?”

“We can prevent shifting any night, or day, bar the night of the full moon.It is how we learn control.But we also learn the consequences of over-control.Your wife will learn that with her Pard during the next year.”

Cordelia broke in, “I haven’t had the chance to fill Sirius in on the structure of the International Pard. He hasn’t met anyone else and we haven’t had a lot of time to discuss all this.”

The Rex gave Sirius an overview of the political structure of the Pard.“Your Nimir-Raj will be contacting you.He is here at the Lair for this full moon.Have you met him yet, Cordelia?”

“No, Lisette said he hadn’t arrived yet.”

“Ah, I asked him to come to meet you, specifically.I know he had to clear up some items on his schedule, but he should be here in the next day or so.Peter is an extremely capable Nimir-Raj. He’s forty-five and has been a wereleopard for twenty-three years.He spent an extended time here as an intern in his early twenties.He has the gift to heal as I have heard you do, Cordelia.”

“Apparently,” Cordelia said, with a touch of scepticism in her voice.

Sirius cut in, “That’s another thing I’ve been meaning to ask.What is that about?”

"As has been explained to your wife, the lycanthropy virus causes the body to metabolise energy in a different manner.Extra energy is produced to fuel the change.When the body is not in the process of shifting, you have to do something with that energy.You can control it to a great extent, but it tends to flow towards specialties as do most talents.”

“Talents?”

“Yes, Mr. Black.Some of our leopards are gifted hunters and warriors, even in human form.Some are motivational and can inspire and give off the energy in an emotional form.Some divert their excess energy into physical exertion, and others can direct the energy into other humans.When this energy is directed properly, great acts of healing can be done.”

“So, Cordelia has this ability?”

“Yes, in its elemental form.We need to train it and learn to direct it effectively, but she does have a certain amount of power and confidence that prefers this type of talent over the more warrior types of expression.”

“Is there anything else we should know about these talents?”

“Your wife is very perceptive, and she has a great deal of inner strength.We never are sure who will grow to be a leader within a Pard.Part of it has to do with innate strength of the energy.Some would call it power, but I don’t want to associate that strength of energy with political clout at all.There are some very powerful leopards who couldn’t hold a Pard together for more than ten minutes.However, a certain level of energy is required for a leader.”

“Along the lines of all leaders are powerful people, but not all powerful people are leaders?”

“Exactly, Mr. Black, exactly.Your wife has the raw energy necessary in the leadership, and I think she has the other qualities as well; however, leadership is difficult, and our leaders rule a long time.I tell you this because others will sense it in her and she may be seen as a threat.Peter would not see her that way, but others in that Pard might.I also want to caution you about the Edinburgh Pard.I am aware of Cordelia’s land holdings near Aberdeen.That Pard is relatively unstable.The Nimir-Ra’s health is failing. There are some … loose cannons in that group.There are some very young and brash individuals.”

“So not only do we need to get used to her new abilities and requirements, but we need to watch her back as well, because people are going to be jealous of her?”

“Yes, that is a possibility.She will be in the most danger from the magical leopards.She is already envied because of her position in the IFW, and some envy her position as your wife.If she is seen as a threat to this as well, that may pose a problem.”

Cordelia looked surprisedItwas obviously something she had not considered.“Fabulous!I contract this thing and now it can be used to put me in more danger than I’malready in?”

“We’ll talk to Colin, we can adjust your security detail.Which brings up confidentiality.I’d heard of wereleopards before, but never could find anyone who would admit to being one.Are we to keep this a secret from our close friends and loved ones?” Sirius asked.

“That is up to you.Most wizards and witches do because of the prejudice in magical society against lycanthropes.Muggles have it easier in that Muggle society still believes this is only the construct of horror novels.Most people they tell don’t believe them and laugh it off.We strongly encourage privacy, not necessarily secrecy, but privacy.We encourage any transformations be done out of the public eye, and if you need to tell friends and family members, try to be certain where their loyalties lie.”

“And if all else fails, there is always memory modification,” Sirius commented with a slight smile.

“It has served us well in the past,” the Rex acknowledged.

“We have a few more days until the full moon, if you have any additional questions, do not hesitate to make an appointment.My door will be fully accessible to you, Deputy Chancellor.For now it is time for the weekly general assembly.It is time to mete out the punishment you selected.You are required to attend and I want you both to see and feel the community to which you have come.”

Cordelia checked her watch, “Do you know what Draco’s status is?It’s been a few hours since we’ve seen him.”

The Rex smiled and picked up a slender telephone.

“Hello, I need the status on a patient, who was brought in a few hours ago.The one who was attacked by the guards.His name is Draco.”

“Yes, the one Cordelia helped heal.”

“Malfoy?He is a Malfoy?”There was a long pause.“Yes, I’m here.Do not let him remain unguarded.Bring in Evan and Storm.They can guard him until I can determine the risk.”

“You brought a Malfoy to us?”The Rex looked like he was strongly suppressing a great deal of anger.

Sirius looked up, “Um, he came by default, he was the only one of our team who had a colour shifting gemstone on.We didn’t realize that was a trigger.We thought it was only shapeshifter blood on the ammonite.”

“The Malfoysare not welcome here.He will be guarded until you leave.To answer your original question, he is in stable condition.He has had some internal injuries, but the mediwizardshave attended him and it does appear that he will recover.You may see him after the general assembly.”

Sirius stood up, “I assure you, Mr. Allejandro, Draco Malfoy is working for our side now.He turned his father over to the wizarding authorities.He has been trustworthy up until this point.”

The Rex raised an eyebrow, “Up until this time?You don’t sound completely ready to trust the young Mr. Malfoy.”

“I have my reservations about his moral compass, but I do believe he has renounced a lot of the Malfoy traditions.”

The Rex stood up as well, and began to move about the room.“This is not a ringing endorsement, Mr. Black.But we will have to save that discussion for another time.Right now we must go.We don’t want to be late for the punishments, now do we?”

With that the Rex moved out the door and was heading down the hall before Sirius or Cordelia could catch up.

***********

The gathering was over.It had been bloody.Fifteen leopards had been punished for various misdeeds including the ones who had attacked Cordelia and those who had attacked Sirius and Draco.Sirius could tell that Cordelia was bothered by what she just witnessed.She didn’t look like she wanted to talk about it, so he simply took her hand and helped guide her through the crowd and out of the gathering room.

They walked in silence, each consumed by their own thoughts as they made their way to the medical wing.Cordelia paused to ask which room, then guided him in the proper direction.There was a small window in the door, and Draco was sitting up talking to one of his guards.There were two other guards at the door.They stopped them and allowed only one to go in at a time.Cordelia pushed Sirius forward.

“Hi,” Sirius said quietly as he walked in the door.

Draco glanced at him, the guard broke off their conversation, nodded to Sirius, and exited the room.Sirius didn’t sit at first, but hung back by the door.“So, I guess you weren’t expecting this?”

Draco thought for a moment.“I expected violence, but not this.I heard Cordelia healed me.Give her my thanks.”

“I will.”

“I also heard she got infected when she arrived.Is that true?” Draco asked.

“Yes it is, but I’d appreciate it if you kept that between us for the time being.We haven’t had time to really deal with it yet.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, Sirius.Have you killed the people, or rather the wereleopards responsible?” Draco asked.

Sirius considered this.His first instinct was to say ‘of course not’, but he realized that he still wanted to kill whoever was responsible.He also knew that would be unacceptable, but apparently Draco did not.“No, not that I don’t want to, but that’s not usually how it’s done, Draco.”

“Yes, one of the downsides of working for the good guys,” Draco said, obviously disappointed at this constraint.

“The punishment they endured at the hands of their Rex was rather severe, though.”

“Really?It wasn’t just a slap on the wrist?”

Sirius shook his head and shuddered a bit.“No, it wasn’t.Even though I wanted to see them dead at first, I think this is worse.”

“What do you mean?”

“We just came from an assembly where punishments were carried out.”Sirius collapsed in the chair and rubbed his eyes.“The guards that attacked Cordelia were cut along the face and then branded.They weren’t shy about voicing their pain during this,” Sirius commented, remembering their shrieks of pain as the wounds were cauterised.

“They’ll be confined for three moon cycles.We were shown a leopard in confinement and it was a bit uncomfortable to see how agitated they were.That prisoner had only been held for one cycle.Physically he was fine, but the desperation of being confined had obviously taken its toll.All I can say is that it hit a bit close to home.I know that feeling and it’s worse than dying.Dying is easy.”

“So you object to their imprisonment?”

“No, I’m just saying I know what it’s like.”

“So what did they do to the guards who assaulted us?” Draco asked.

“They were marked on the upper arm,” Sirius stated.

“Is that it?I’ve heard werewolves can heal wounds quickly.If that’s true here, don’t you think that’s a bit mild a penalty, seeing as I nearly got my stomach ripped out?”

“The mark was a brand that they could not heal.It leaves a scar that reminds them that they have made a mistake.Apparently it's quite the system of dishonour.Actually, they really didn’t do anything wrong.It’s only who we are that justified the punishment at all,” Sirius said flatly.

“Well, rank should have some privileges, I suppose.Is that enough for you?”

Sirius breathed out deeply.“I should be a good example to you and say yes.But the truth is I don’t have the energy for that at the moment.”Sirius was fighting to stay in control, but he realized he hadn’t had the freedom yet to react to Cordelia’s revelations.He’d made a great effort to be calm and reasonable while Cordelia broke down.

“So what are you going to do?” Draco asked.

Sirius got up and began to pace the room.“Do?What the hell can I do?I want someone to really pay for what they did to Cordelia and you, but I don’t have that freedom or luxury, do I?I can’t just be Sirius, husband and father.No!I have to be a fucking good example for you and the whole fucking wizard world.My wife was just changed into a wild animal and I’m expected to just take it and accept it all.At the moment I’d like to wipe every wereleopard off the face of the earth!”

“You could do that, you know,” Draco suggested.

“NO, I CAN’T,” Sirius raged.“I have to be the calm one, the rational one.I just don’t know, Draco.I don’t know.I’ve had enough catastrophes this year and I really don’t want to deal with another one.”

“I’m sorry.I know how much she meant to you.”

This caught Sirius off-guard, “What do you mean, meant?”

Draco looked at him as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.“You are going to divorce her, aren’t you?You can’t have a wereleopard around the house with the kids and all.Plus, what would that do to your position?They’d never let you stay as Deputy Chancellor of the whole fucking world with one of them as a wife.”

Sirius was shocked.He was torn between wanting to slug him, curse him, or just turn around and walk out.Instead he paced for a few minutes.

“If you weren’t in a hospital bed, I’d put you there myself.Draco, have you no idea the kind of bigoted, hateful statement you just made?”

Draco looked confused.“You mean you aren’t going to divorce her?You’re going to let her drag you down?”

“Drag me ...WHAT!I have absolutely no intention of divorcing her.What kind of an idiot do you think I am?”

“A huge one if you stand by and let her destroyyour family, children, and life.”

“Destroy?”Sirius knew he was sputtering.He could not fathom what Draco was thinking.“I’m going to talk very slowly.I love Cordelia.I’m not sure you understand what that means, but what it means to me is that … it means I love her and I will not make her go through this alone.I’ve talked to the leadership here and they have given me some assurances that the structure of having a Pard support you makes you less dangerous than a werewolf.Even if she were, you seem to forget Remus.If I wasn’t damaged by my association with him, why would I be damaged by being associated with Cordelia?And even if I were, Cordelia would come way before my concern about my own reputation.Your reputation is what you make it and it would be far more thoroughly damaged by letting this come between Cordelia and me.We said better or worse, until death do us part.Not only do I believe in those vows as unbreakable vows, I don’t want to break them.I want us to be together until death.It would be the death of me to lose her.Do you understand that at all?”

Draco stared at him like he had sprouted another head.“So you don’t mind having a dark creature exposed to your children?”

“She is NOT a dark creature.She’s not even really a magical creature.She’s still wholly Muggle.Additionally, she is my children’s mother.What could be more damaging than taking their mother away?”

“Letting their mother eat them.”

Sirius drew his wand and went to stun Draco, but Draco countered.They faced each other for a long moment.“I won’t hurt you if you stop making stupid assumptions.”

“I don’t think you can hurt me.”

With a flick of the wrist Sirius cast.The spell not only disarmed Draco, sending his wand to Sirius, but also caused his arm to fall limply at his side.

Draco put his other hand up, “Damn, I’m getting slow.”

“No, it’s just that I’m better.I felt your curse.I overpowered it.”

Draco raised an eyebrow, but sighed.“All right.All right.Talk.Tell me what I don’t know.Tell me how love can be this strong that you’d take a pass on your own best interest.”His tone was sarcastic and his look, defiant.

Sirius closed his eyes and counted to ten.“That’s what love is about, Draco!You put the other one first.Their happiness means more to you than your own.You’re there for them when they need help.You give them what you have, everything you have, and you promise to be there no matter what changes.”

“How can you promise to be there no matter what?Could you be sure last week that you’d stick around if this happened?”

“Absolutely.I love her.Can I say that again.I.Love.Her.I will be there for her.I won’t abandon her over this.Is this the way you would treat Ginny?”

“That’s really not relevant anymore.”

“Oh, that garbage about her sleeping with Grant?”Sirius rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, that garbage.She moved on.”

“Did she say she loved you?”

“Yes.Once.”

“Once?”

“It was coerced, okay.”

“Coerced?What the hell does that mean?You coerced her into saying she loved you? What the hell would you want to do that for?”

“Because she did love me, and she wouldn’t say it.”

“So you knew you loved her, and you knew she loved you, yet you felt the need to coerce her into saying it.How the hell did you coerce her, knifepoint?”

“Um, no.It’s none of your damn business.”

“Hey look, you’re the one who dragged this issue up.I didn’t even ask about your life.I came in to see if you were all right physically.You are, so you can go back to sulking about your delusions.”Sirius headed for the door.

Draco looked down and said softly, “They weren’t delusions.”

Sirius turned and looked at Draco.

“They weren’t delusions so you can just get the fuck out of here.”

Sirius threw up his hands and approached the bed.“Fine.She loved you.You could tell.How did you conclude that she’s no longer in love with you?”

“She slept with Grant.”

“Are you sure?”

“He was there in the middle of the night, sounding sleepy.She did it to Harry, why the hell wouldn’t she do it to me.He was Harry.I’ve always been Malfoy scum.”

“She wasn’t in love with Harry when she cheated on him.”

“How do you know?”

“Harry told me.He admitted they didn’t love each other and that he hadn’t treated her right.So what I’m saying is, don’t take that as any indication of her cheating on you.”

“So you’re saying that if she did love me, she wouldn’t sleep with Grant?”

“Yeah.I know the Weasleys.I know Ginny pretty well, too.She’s not a prude, but she doesn’t sleep around.Particularly if she’s in a committed relationship.Had you guys agreed to that?”

“More or less,” Draco stated flatly.

“Which was it?More or less?”

“Look, no one knows what tomorrow might bring.I’ve changed so much in the past year I didn’t think I could promise her anything more than one day at a time.So we left it at that.”

“One day?”Sirius raised his eyebrows.“That’s a commitment?”

“Yeah, how can you promise to be there when you don’t know what’s coming around the corner?”

Sirius put his head in his hands and shook it.“Holy Merlin, Malfoy.That’s what a commitment is!As it stands you told her you loved her until something better came along.Maybe something better came along, and now you’re angry about it?Look you’ve told me time and time again that this is none of my business, but hell, Draco, this is no way to treat someone you profess to love.Do you love her?”

“I don’t know.What the hell does that mean?I was raised to watch out for myself.But she makes me want to watch out for her too.It’s not just protective shit, though.You’re right,this is none of your business.”

“Fine.It isn’t.And I really do have more important things to think about besides yourscrewed up perception of love.”Sirius went back to the door, but couldn’t just leave it.“I’m not the best example, but love is when you don’t want anyone else.It’s when you feel like you fit with them.You speak the same language and they’re different than anyone else you’ve been with.You want them.You fairly need them.Commitment is what you need to keep it all together.Think of it like potions.I always sucked at potions and was never much good at love either, come to that, but … you and Ginny and your personalities are the ingredients for the potion.The commitment you make is the brewing time and temperature that changes the individual ingredients into the potion that is more than both of you combined.With Cordelia, I can be more than who I was by myself.By not making any kind of commitment, and one day at a time is no commitment, you’re keeping the ingredients separate.And you’re wondering why one of the ingredients is looking to jump out of your cauldron and see what’s cooking next door?”

Draco chuckled. “This makes my head hurt.”

“No, that was the curse I hurled at you.It had a headache charm tossed in for good measure.”

Draco looked impressed.“I didn’t know you could layer them that quick.”

Sirius just smiled.

Draco continued, “No, it just goes against the grain of everything I was taught and the new concepts are still a bit foreign.I’m sorry for my reaction to Cordelia’s infection.I honestly thought that was it for you two.”

“I never even considered it.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, it never even crossed my mind to leave her.”

“I don’t understand that.”

“My mum and dad were together thirty-five years before they died.I saw their commitment, and I took it for granted for a long time.I didn’t understand it for a long time either.It wasn’t until Cordelia that I wanted to make any kind of commitment, but once she accepted me … I didn’t want anyone else, so why not.”

“Mum and Lucius, now there was a love match.”Draco leaned his head back on the pillow, sarcasm fairly dripping from his words.“He had utter disdain for her.She did her level best to manipulate the hell out of him.”

“She failed, didn’t she?”

“Failed at marriage?’

“No, to get the Hell out of him.”

Draco laughed.“Yeah, Hell is still there with a vengeance.I can see that he’s twisted now, but I thought he was so right about everything for so very long … just ask him, he'd tell you how right he was … anyway it’s still a difficult habit to break.”

“Get some rest, Draco.We still need to talk about why the hell you wanted to keep me in Azkaban.What was the problem?Did you hate me because of Harry or did you just not give a fuck about justice?”

“I was just following orders, Sirius.Now, do you understand why I don’t relish following more of them?I thought I could get ahead that way.Power was what was important.I’d have traded my soul for power, but daddy dearest already had.”

Sirius took a deep breath, “Do you care about it now?”

“Power?Justice?Or both?”

“Either one.”

“Justice is a strange concept.It depends on who’s dealing it out.I no longer have any desire to see justice done as Lucius defines it, so who defines it?The British Ministry has done a poor job.I’m starting to see what’s fair and what’s not, but that’s my twisted vision of fairness.I was tired of the fear, duplicity, pain, and conflict the Circle continuously had going.I switched sides because I wanted to see if all those noble attributes like trust, cooperation, truth, and all that rot made the world easier.”

“Does it?” Sirius asked.

“No.Staying on track is just as difficult, but being a good guy is a minefield to me.I never know when I've offended someone.The rules are different on this side and I’m not sure of them all.It’s not less painful either physically or emotionally.In fact it’s a little more painful because there’s that expectation of fair play.In the Circle you knew everyone was dealing in lies and subterfuge, so you were more wary.”

“So what about power?”

“I’m not on a power trip if that’s what you’re asking.I’m still ambitious, but power is not what I’m pursuing.I have power and I know how to use it.It’s not the rush it once was.”

“So should I trust you?”

“How so?”

“Are you going back to the Circle and taking all our tricks to them?”

Draco shook his head.“No.I’ve burnt those bridges.I don’t know how I can prove that to you, or make up for what I did in your past.If there is anything I’d be willing to hear what it is.”

“You didn’t say you’d do anything to make it up to me.”

“I’m not a fool, Sirius.I’ve seen more torture than you can imagine … hmmm, you did spend time in Azkaban, so maybe you can imagine.Anyway ... I’m not prepared to allow you to do anything you want to me, but I would agree to some penance to gain your trust.”

“That means something to you?”

“Yes, surprisingly, it does.Look, don’t go all weird on me, but I do respect you.You’ve gone through a lot and still held onto your principles.I’ve seen how concerned you are about Harry and I’ve seen how successful you are.That makes me think that I might still be able to be successful and do the right thing.If I can just puzzle out what exactly that is.”

“You’re not going to make me into some sort of father figure, are you?”

“No, please, I’ve had enough father figures.No.I just want to do what I can, and maybe … just maybe, gain a modicum of respect.Not now, not quickly, but eventually.Unfortunately, my instincts aren’t always to do the right thing, so I need someone I can watch and learn from.”

“When did I get nominated?”

Draco looked at his watch, “About five minutes ago.”

“Do I have to be the one you watch?”

“Not the only one.I watch Colin too, but I can’t watch him too much, he’ll think I want him.”

Sirius chuckled.“So I guess I can’t fire you if I’m supposed to be your moral guide.”

“Not such a good plan, no.Look, Sirius.What I really need right now is for you to go away and let me think about all this.I’m still having trouble figuring out why you’d stay with Cordelia, but maybe I’ll have a revelation.Right now I’ve thought way too much this afternoon.”

“Okay, I’ll send the nurse in.”

“The full moon is in a couple of days.Can we leave after that?”

“I hope so.”

*****

Over the next few days Cordelia and Sirius spent more time together than they had in years.For all it started out as a prison, it was turning into a bit of a holiday for both of them.They were allowed to inform people close to them where they were and when they’d be returning, as The Rex had given them permission to leave anytime after the full moon and after Draco was judged well enough to travel.They were not allowed extensive contact as it would be too easy for someone to trace the transmission, but they contacted Colin, Harry, and Kate and told them they were well and would be home within the week.

Sirius related his struggle and search for her and his declining emotional state following Cordelia’s disappearance.Cordelia told him everything she’d learned about becoming a wereleopard.Work was left on hold, children were taken care of.They could really be just them once again.They took long walks along the labyrinth of corridors within the Lair, and they just talked, and talked and talked.The frustrating thing was they couldn’t make love.There was more than once when Cordelia pulled out of a furtive embrace in a deserted corridor, or Sirius would rapidly get out of bed and get in a shower.It had been too long and this extended time together made the longing more intense.

Finally, it was the eve of the full moon.The mood in the Lair was excited, not apprehensive at all.It was almost festive.Both Sirius and Cordelia had commented on the rise in the energy level of nearly everyone in the Lair.Throughout her stay Cordelia had occasionally seen a leopard calmly trotting down a hallway.That day, she saw a much higher proportion than before.She could also feel it in herself.She felt it move and rise and stretch.There were times when she was near other leopards that she felt it pushing to the surface.There were quite a few people whose eyes had changed colour, and looked remarkably like cat eyes.It was all so odd.She wasn’t frightened anymore, but there were moments her stomach did a twist when she thought about turning into a wild animal later that day.

It was truly an amazing sight.The room in the Lair they had been led to was a large cavernous chamber.It had stalagmites and stalactites towards the back, and had water running along one wall.The water flowed out of view as it fell through a hole in the floor of the cavern.The room opened up to the outside.Sirius could see the setting sun for the first time in the three days he’d been there.The setting sun blazed on the eastern wall and the water glittered and gleamed in its rush towards the sinkhole.

There were about two hundred people gathered in small groups in the open area near the centre of the cavern.Next to him Cordelia gripped his hand very tightly.

She took a deep breath and held her other hand over her forehead to shade her eyes, “It smells wonderful out here.I didn’t know this room existed.Lisette never told me of it.I complained to her more than once that I wanted to see the sun.She kept saying no.I’ll have to see why.”

“This is beautiful!Do you know how many of these people are leopards?” Sirius asked.

“Only about half, maybe a bit more.The rest are staff or friends.There needs to be enough people to help the leopards when they come back from the hunt.I was told that most shifters, particularly new ones, pass out when they shift back from being a leopard,” Cordelia said, scanning the cavern for people she had met.

“Remus usually did.Usually meor James would carry him back to his bed after our adventures.”

“Why don’t you pass out when you change?” Cordelia asked.

“My change works differently.I think from what I’ve understood from you, for a leopard or wolf, shifting is giving up control, releasing the energy, right?”

“That’s what I’ve been told, we’ll see…”

“For me, it requires input of energy.I have to put my magic to work there, and it takes a lot of energy, but it feeds into me, it doesn’t drain out in the shifting process.”

“So you’re energized when you return to human form?”

“Usually,” Sirius stated.

“If I’m releasing energy to change, could you take that energy and use it to help you change?”

Sirius shrugged, “Maybe.Do you want me with you during the hunt?”

“If you can keep up,” Cordelia said in a playfully challenging tone.

“Oh, I can keep up.I usually beat Remus in races.”

“Yes, but that was more than thirty years ago.”She nudged his middle, which had not gotten pudgyin the least.

He laughed.“I’ll try.I’ll be back in here, though, before you.”

“You have my shirt and a towel?”

“Yep.”He gestured towards a small bag he’d brought.

“They want me to be with the London Pard when we change, so I’d better go.”

“I’ll stay out of the way.”

“I love you,” she whispered as she kissed him quickly.

“I love you more,” he responded.

He watched as she walked towards the centre of the room.He could see other people backing out of the small circles that were coming together.The sun was setting lower and colouring the cavern walls with red and gold and amber and peach tones.

The full moon was scheduled to rise very shortly after sunset.The plan was that the leopards would shift and they would go out into the jungle and hunt.They needed fresh meat as soon after shifting as they could accomplish it.They were told there were a few fresh kills outside the door for those who could not control their need to feed, but most leopards would enjoy the hunt as much as the food, some more so.Remus always did.

Just as the bright golden light was fading on the side of the cave wall, the Rex stepped up on a natural ledge at the front of the cavern.He was dressed in a flowing white tunic and he had the ruby pendant around his neck again.On the floor of the cavern he could now tell who were the Nimir-Ra and Nimir-Rajfor each Pard.They stood out.Sirius couldn’t put his finger on what it was about these particular people, but he could tell they had something extra.

Sirius kept his eyes on Cordelia.He was taking everything in, but maintained a close watch on her.He wanted to be right beside her when she changed, but that wasn’t allowed.He’d complained to the Rex that he had experience with a shapeshifter, but the Rex had said he could not make any exceptions.It was too dangerous for a human to be in the midst of shapeshifters right after a change.He understood, but resented it just the same.

“On this night of the spring moon, we welcome all leopards into the Lair to release their cats and come enjoy the hunt with us.The moon pulls at the animal within us.She beckons us to come play.We have some new leopards with us who will be going through this first transformation.As your mentors have told you, don’t fight it.Release your cat to the moon and let the moon guide you through this experience which can be most fulfilling if you allow it to be.

“In a moment the change will begin and I caution all the humans to remain clear of the transformations as the leopards have a tendency to react violently first if provoked.Do not provoke them.Two rules for tonight’s hunt.We are not to go near the pipeline project.Move to the south away from them.I have been recently informed that they are not the enemy we have been led to believe.I do not want any of them killed tonight.Ignore them and let them be.The worst thing would be to alert them to our presence.There is an overabundance deer, antelope, and boar, so target them if you can.Return here when you have finished the hunt and feeding, and we will meet tomorrow.To the hunt!”

And everyone cheered, “To the hunt!”

Sirius saw it before the rest of them, but he was sure they had felt it already.The full moon was peeking up through the foliage at the mouth of the cavern.It was one of those full moons when you could almost reach out and touch it.It looked fifty times its normal size and had a slight reddish tint.A blood moon, he thought to himself.The bats that roosted in the cavern suddenly took flight.He’d heard about Bat Flights, when thousands of bats emerge from caverns to hunt insects for the night, but he’d never seen one this up close and personal.

The room was getting restless as the leopards waited for their leaders.That was the rule; first the Rex changed, then each Pard leader, then the rest of the Pard.However, there were a few leopards who had already shed their human form, some fully leopard, some half-human, half leopard, standing in furry splendour fully upright.It was the oddest thing he had seen.They tried to do it in a semi-orderly fashion so there would be no rush through the cave exit, but once some of the Nimir-Rajs began to turn, it wasn’t more than a few minutes before everyone was in the midst of shifting.

Shape shifting for a wereleopard, like a werewolf, was different than for an Animagus.For an Animagus, you willed yourself to change and it happened, nearly instantaneously.For a shifter it was a sequence of breaking down the human body and allowing the animal body to form itself from the material left over.All across the cavern there were sounds of popping and cracking and wet gurgling sounds of bones and flesh remoulding itself.There were screams and sighs, there were growls and shouts.Shifting was different for everyone.Some went through awful pain when it happened, others shifted with apparent ease.

The variety of fur colours and patterns and body shapes and sizes was as diverse as the humans these leopards had started out as.Sirius watched the London Pard leader shift with no screams or growls into a golden leopard with deep black swirls.He shifted into a full four-legged leopard form and began to patrol around his Pard.He got to Cordelia and nudged her with his muzzle.Sirius watched in fascination as her body seemed to fold back on itself.Her head and face lengthened as her body seemed to emerge in black flowing fur.Her legs bent and shortened, forcing her onto all fours, but within a few moments she emerged as the most beautiful fully black leopard he had ever seen.She hadn’t screamed.She had squirmed a bit during the process as if not knowing where to find her feet, or rather paws.She got gracefully to her feet.Her Nimir-Rajlicked her neck and she made a low growl.Sirius could tell she really wasn’t sure how to operate in this new body.

After her leader moved onto the next leopard, she sauntered over to Sirius.When she got close enough she looked up at him with the most beautiful blue eyes he’d ever seen.He had loved her eyes from the minute he met her, but these eyes, they were even more spectacular.He knew eye colour sometimes changed during a transformation, his did.But these eyes were the most luminous blue.They were the colour of a brilliant tropical fish.They weren’t her usual light turquoise blue.They weren’t an evening blue either.They were the blue of a sapphire with neon light shining through.His breath caught in his throat as he looked at her and she rubbed against his leg.This was very weird, he thought, but not all together bad.

At that moment the energy wave, generated by the hundreds of shapeshifting leopards,had risen to such a pitch that it seemed to be feeding into him.It wanted to go somewhere, and the natural place for it to go to in him was straight to his dog.The energy was pushing on him to change.Usually it required a force of will and directing his magic inward to shift.Now, with all the energy that had been released, that energy was pulling him into a change.He began to resist it, but Cordelia looked up and he could see in her eyes that she wanted him to join her.Without further, inducement he shifted.

They moved out through the cavern’s opening.Sirius hung back from the London Pard, he let Cordelia move up to be with the other leopards, since they knew what they were doing and he did not.Each Pard took off in a different direction.The London Pard headed west towards a rise in the terrain.Sirius paced them, staying back out of the way.He had no need to feed and no desire either.He pondered this while he loped through the thick jungle foliage.Since the leopards and wolves gave off so much energy during their transformations, the need to consume something must be their way of replacing this energy.It all made a lot of sense when he thought of it like that.

He kept track of the Pard by smell.He noticed as he left the cavern he could begin to discern the Pards by scent alone.He knew he would not have noticed this in human form, but in his animal form, his sense of smell and hearing were always more sensitive.As he tracked Cordelia’s Pard he began to really look around the jungle.His night vision was good, but never had been as good as Remus’, and he suspected Cordelia’s leopard vision was far superior.Still he could see the thick branches and very tall trees.It smelled musty and wet, but there was the occasional fragrance of a night blooming shrub or flower.The jungle was filled with night sounds; the calls of macaques and gibbons.There were chirping insects and the rustle of bird wings.The one thing he couldn’t hear was the movement of the Pard through the jungle.He knew they made noise, but it was as if they moved in a way that the sound of their movements was camouflaged by the other jungle noises.

They had travelled for quite awhile when the Pard Leader stopped and took up a stalking posture.Sirius saw the prey.It was agroupof wild boar that he guessed could feed nearly all of the Pard’sleopards.He’d seen Remus hunt and catch deer before, so while it wasn’t completely grotesque to watch the Pard encircle and bring down their prey, it was really hard to connect these leopards to the group of people he had met the day before.Still harder to conceive was that Cordelia was one of them.In fact she had been particularly aggressive in the take down. This surprised him.Since this was her first time, he assumed she would not take all that active a role in the actual hunt and kill.Intellectually he knew that she would consume part of that kill, but here she was, lapping the blood from the slit ripped open in the side of the boar.It was fascinating, but very disturbing.Somehow it had never bothered him when Remus made a kill.It was just hard for him to watch Cordelia be so enthusiastic.

They consumed the kill fairly quickly, or rather,they ate their fill and began to prepare to move on.The wereleopards didn’t need the raw meat to fill an actual hunger.It was more a metaphysical hunger.They needed the energy that the meat provided, but a smaller portion was necessary than what a natural leopard needed.These leopards would have breakfast in the morning.

The Pard Nimir Raj had begun to cover the remainder of the kill with leaves and branches.He’d ask Cordelia why this was done when they returned.For now it was apparent that it was time to move on.Since the hunt was complete and the hunger fed, the rest of the night was given over more towards play and exploration than anything else.As they left the kill, Sirius moved up into the Pard and ran next to Cordelia, proving to her that he could keep up.

They had been running down a long embankment and Sirius was thinking how much he missed these monthly outings with Remus.He was also thinking that he hoped someone had kept track of where they were going and which way it was to get back to the cavern.They flowed through the jungle like black and tan spotted water, moving and curving around the obstacles.Suddenly, the Nimir stopped dead.He began to back up when Sirius heard voices.

“What was that, Joe?” one voice said.The voice had an American accent, and was definitely male.

“I don’t know, but I have a really bad feeling.I thought I saw a large cat as I was coming back from the tent,” said Joe,who'svoice wasn’t quite as steady as the first.

“They think that other team was attacked by leopards.”

“Yeah, I heard they were wereleopards.Charlie, the guy who survived, said there were these giant cat people who stood on two legs and ripped that guide all apart.”

The first voice laughed and jeered, “You don’t buy that, do you?”

Sirius was glad all of this Pard was in full leopard form.Hiding a nearly six foot cat person was more difficult than a larger version of a natural animal.The Nimir backed up as Joe began to advance across the camp.He stooped to pick up a rifle.Sirius watched him check to make sure it was loaded and saw him flick the safety off.Sirius knew this team most likely had silver bullets, because he had sent the order to arm all personnel in this area with silver.He’d read the report given by “Charlie”.The Muggle authorities had scoffed at his suggestion, but they implemented the policy, particularly after he’d approved the allocation of funds for the wizards to pay the difference between regular and silver ammunition for both the Muggle and magical law enforcement community.At the time, he thought lycanthropy could only be contracted by a witch or wizard.Now he knew that to be false in spades.

Sirius moved up to the lead and motioned for the Pard to back away.The man was advancing and raised his gun to his shoulder.Sirius did not want these men to see leopards tonight, natural or lycanthropic.He pushed the Nimir–Raj in the opposite direction and stepped through the underbrush, assuming his least aggressive posture, lowering his head and wagging his tail.He could sense the man’s surprise and he was awfully glad that this man did not seem to be an aggressive guard.As soon as the man saw Sirius, he put down the gun and began to scratch between Sirius' ears.

“Would you look at that!It’s just a big dog.He seems friendly too, don’t you, boy.”The man said this in a cooing tone that people used to speak to dogs.Sirius really really hated it when people talked to him like that.

“That was what you saw?A big dog?”

“You had me going there, Joe.I didn’t believe those stories about wereleopards, but I really wouldn’t want to meet a real one either.”

“This is a jungle, don’t you want to at least see some wild animals?”

“Nope.I’m here to map the route for this pipeline.If I want to see wild animals I’ll go to the zoo, where they are fed and there is a nice barrier between them and my soft flesh.”

“You with soft flesh?You’ve got the toughest hide I’ve ever seen…”

The two men got to ribbing each other about their toughness and turned away from Sirius.As soon as the attention was deflected, he dashed through the underbrush and raced off, following the scent of the Pard.

The last thing Sirius heard from the men was the man with the gun saying, “Wait a minute, what in the hell was a dog like that doing out here?”

Then Sirius was gone.

He could tell where he was now and the smells of all the wereleopards were getting stronger.He knew by the multiple scents that they were close to the cavern.He hadn’t caught up to the London Pard, but that was good.He’d be back and able to help Cordelia when she arrived back.

He entered the cavern and three groups had returned.They ignored him as most of them had passed out and their human assistants were cleaning them up and tugging clothes onto them.Shapeshifting destroyed clothes.

Sirius, back in his human form, settled back against one wall of the cavern.It was lit with torches by this time and it felt good to sit and have some time by himself.

About an hour later half of the Pards had arrived.The cavern was busy with assistants confirming that all Pard members had returned and moving the unconscious humans back to their rooms to recover from the shift.Sirius spotted the London Nimir-Raj first.The golden cat came over to Sirius and lowered his head.Sirius took this as a thank you for his actions in the Jungle.The leopard then stepped aside and nudged Cordelia up to him.She looked tired.The Nimir-Rajlet out a low, purring sound and touched Cordelia with a front paw.The black leopard stretched out on the cavern floor and the transformation process began again.Cordelia made no noise while the black fur was pulled back into her body, like watching a time-lapse film of growing hair, only in reverse.Her legs lengthened and her face flattened into her face once again.A deep shiver ran the length of her body, and then she was Cordelia again.She had glanced briefly at Sirius, smiled, thenslumped into a deep sleep.

Sirius was relieved that this experience seemed to be positive for her.He wondered a bit about what Remus’ first transformation had been like and he doubted it had been nearly this supportive and pleasant.Maybe what Cordelia said about it being different for the wereleopards because of the support was true.

Sirius wriggled her into the oversize t-shirt she had picked out and gently picked her up and carried her back to their room.

*************

They had been asleep twelve hours, when Sirius woke up.He stayed in bed for forty-five minutes, hoping she would awake, but she didn’t.Finally he got out of bed, showered, dressed, and slumped into the couch.He picked up the book that she’d apparently been reading.

Two hours later, Cordelia yawned, stretched and sat up.

Sirius looked up from her book, “Sleep well?”

Cordelia nodded.

“How do you feel?”

“Marvellous!I slept deeper and more soundly than I have in years.I actually feel energized.”

Sirius smiled at her.She got up out of bed and wandered to the bath, stretching and running her hand through her hair.He studied her as she moved.She seemed more graceful somehow.Sirius turned his attention back to his book once she closed the door.

He jumped when she touched him.He hadn’t heard her at all.She straddled his legs and took the book from his hands.

“I shouldn’t be too dangerous now.”She smiled a very dangerous smile, at least dangerous to Sirius’ control.

“Darling, you are always dangerous to me.”He was cut off from any other cute remarks by her kiss.

She broke the kiss and took off the oversized t-shirt, and smiled some more.

Sirius tossed his head back and laughed.“What are you trying to do to me?”

“Seduce you, of course.It’s been nearly three weeks since we’ve been together.We don’t have to be anywhere.People still think I’m asleep.I want you.”Her hands were already sliding his t-shirt off over his head.He looked at her hungrily.He knew exactly how long it had been since they’d been together.But it wasn’t just the duration of abstinence,it was everything that had gone on between them since then.He had wanted her since the moment he saw her in the cavern, with her hands bloodied up to her elbows, but she had been too afraid of changing to make love to him before.Apparently that fear had been assuaged.

He let his hands slide up her knees, around her hips as she settled down on top of him.He took her lips and felt as if he could consume her, tongue first.He loved the warmth of her body, but as he felt her now, he was struck by just how warm she was.She almost felt feverish, but certainly didn’t act feverish.She was running her tongue along his collarbone and he just wanted to lay back and have her touch him everywhere.Her head dipped lower and she licked a path from the centre of his chest up his neck finally settling back on his lips.He couldn’t stifle the groan of pleasure he felt.Her hands had been caressing his arms and chest and now moved to the edge of the waist band of the jeans he was, unfortunately, still wearing.As she sat up to try to get his jeans off, he stopped her and slid one hand down her chest.He was lightly touching her breast, leaning her other breast towards his mouth.Now it was her turn to emit small pleasure sounds while he sucked at her nipple and lightly brushed the other to attention with his hand.

She pulled back and stood, taking his hand and pulling him to his feet.She popped the snap on his jeans and slowly slid the zipper, after firmly attaching her mouth to his nipple.She slid his jeans to the floor and ran her hands up the backs of his thighs.This raised all the hairs on his body and firmly raised other parts as well.He was way beyond aroused.

He stepped out of the jeans and he went to sit back on the couch, but she began to pull him to the bed.He picked her up and carried her, kneeling on the bed and setting her down in the centre.He pressed her back against the bed and decided she needed torturing first.He leaned up and ran his tongue beneath each breast, and trailed his tongue down the centre of her belly.He laughed to himself because it nearly sounded as if she were purring.She looked down at him and smiled.“You’re making me tingle.”

“I want to make you scream,” he said, and set about doing just that.When her breathing had calmed again, he crawled up the bed and braced himself on all fours above her.She stretched and sighed.God.She was beautiful like this.Stretched out naked under him, her skin shimmered with a light sweat, her curves and swells looked rich and tasty.

She reached up and laid her hand along his cheek.He turned and kissed it, then ran his mouth along the inside of her wrist and arm.She shuddered again, but she wrapped her arm around his shoulder and flipped them both over.She had gotten stronger.Suddenly it was he that was stretched out naked under her and she didn’t seem to want to be soft, slow, or gentle at the moment.For that, he was grateful, as he had about reached the limit of his control.

“Thanks for being here,” she said in a husky whisper, as she withdrew again, slowly, tightening around him as she moved.

“My pleasure,” he responded with a smile.

She moved again.Now it was his turn to shudder.She had leaned into him.Her breasts were brushing his chest, and her hair was caressing his face.He was in heaven … he knew he had died and gone to heaven.

He ran his hands all down her back, hips, over her breasts.The sounds she was making were changing from quiet murmurings of pleasure to some more distinctly encouraging sounds.He knew he wasn’t being very quiet or discreet, but discretion had gone out the window when she stripped.

It nearly seemed that steam was emanating from them as they moved and kissed and fed at each other's mouths and off each other's passion.Finally, Sirius couldn’t hold back any longer, she began to quiver, shuddering again and again, until he joined her with a great cry echoing the explosion of senses he felt.His skin seemed to melt into hers as they finished moving and held still, allowing their bodies to finish the chemical reaction that combined them from two people into one boneless, skinless, mass of energy.Sirius vaguely thought about what Cordelia had told him about auras.When he regained his breath, he chuckled slightly.Cordelia opened her eyes languorously.“What?”

“I was just thinking our auras probably changed colour a bit then.”

“Just a bit?”Cordelia laughed, propping herself on her elbows.“Mine’s probably completely green now.”

He laughed again and kissed her, gently stroking her back.

She looked straight into his eyes.“What did you think last night?”

“I thought you were the sexiest leopard out there.”

She kissed him.“Really?It didn’t shock or sicken you?”

“No,I’veseen Remus change more times than I can count.I knew what to expect, except you were much lovelier than he ever was.”

He could tell she was relieved.

She settled into the hollow of his shoulder and dozed off again.He gave up trying to stay awake and slept again as well.

**********

Cordelia woke up first this time and she got up and showered before Sirius awoke.She wrapped the terry robe around her, and dried her hair.She was looking through her drawers to get some clothes when he came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her.She loved it when he did this, and just stood there for a long time, stroking his arms.She turned around in his arms and kissed him.

“Thank you for being here for this,” Cordelia whispered.

“My pleasure,” Sirius said with a leer.

“Really?”

“I said it was.Would I lie to you?”

Cordelia thought for a moment, “Not about this, no.I really am glad you were here for this, though.Before you arrived I was really scared about the first change.I was trying to convince myself that it would be okay, but I was terrified.With you there, I knew it would be all right.”

“You didn’t look frightened.”

“No, I wasn’t.I did what Peter, our Nimir-Rajsaid.I relaxed and just let go.Like when you float in the ocean and a wave comes along and moves you up and down and all around.This was like that, just letting the energy move through me and when it was done I was a leopard.That was so very strange.”

“Yes, it was, wasn’t it,” Sirius said as he led her over to the couch and put her on his lap.“I want to hear all about it.”

“You were there.You saw it all.”

“I know what I saw, but I want to know what you saw and felt.”

“Oh.”Suddenly, she was hesitant to talk about it.She hadn’t thought about it yet, and felt like she wanted to digest it before sharing.But this was Sirius.Maybe he would help her digest it and maybe it would be real.Right now it seemed to be a bit of a dream.She took a deep breath and looked off in the distance.

“All day I’d been feeling it.That cat like thing inside me.I’d been feeling it brush up against the inside of me.It’s a little like being pregnant.I looked down a couple of times expecting to see this limb move about, but I guess it’s all metaphysical rather than really physical until you actually change.Do you ever feel that?”

“What?”

“Like you have a real animal inside you waiting to get out?”

“No, not really.Sometimes when I’m remembering things I did in that form, I feel a little more feral than normal.I’ve caught myself growling occasionally when I’m feeling aggressive towards someone, but no, I don’t feel like there’s anything moving around inside me.I don’t recall Remus ever describing it like that either.”

“Maybe it’s just a leopard thing, but I swear I’ve felt it.It’s very weird.Anyway, this feeling had been growing all day.By the time we were in the cavern I felt really restless.”

“I was going to ask you about that.I could tell something was wrong and I was going to ask if you were afraid, but I didn’t want to put any ideas in your head.”

“Yeah, I was anxious, but not really frightened.Once Peter started to change, it was like opening a fist.It really was a release, like being let out of a cage.My legs hurt a bit and I had a pretty good headache at first, but it wasn’t anything horrific.I tried to relax and let it happen, and it did, and it was okay.”

“I remember the first time the spell succeeded.None of us knew if it would work and none of us knew what kind of animal we would turn out to be.I had these delusions of wanting to be an eagle.I always loved to fly.I went first, so that James could fix anything that went wrong.He just laughed and laughed when he first saw me.I got lots of comments pertaining to my being a dog, but I do remember it feeling comfortable.Like it was a part of me that needed expression.”

“Were you surprised at the different thoughts that run through your head?”

“Blown away!I’d smell something and I can only describe it as an instinct would rise up and I’d be doing something very doglike and not really remember making the conscious choice to do it.”

“YES!The whole hunt was like that.I was really sceptical at wanting to hunt or particularly eat raw flesh.Before I shifted, I was certain I really wouldn’t want to feed.But, wow, once I had shifted, it seemed like the most important thing in the world.I had to get that animal and I had to eat.It wasn’t nearly as grotesque as I thought it would be.I just craved that warm flesh.It wasn’t anything I had control of and that part was a bit scary.”

“You didn’t look scared.You were right in there.I thought you’d hang back a bit. “

“I thought I would, too, but when the time came I was pretty much overcome by the competition of it and the desire to feed and feed first.I think I knocked that smaller girl … Ashley, I think it is … I was a bit pushy.I remember thinking she was going too slow.”

“The real Cordelia coming out?Without the glaze of civil behaviour your mum impressed upon you?”

“Maybe.I just know it was suddenly who I was.I was this black furry thing that was able to do a lot of stuff I’d never be able to do.I felt dangerous and out of control, but I didn’t want to control anything.I just wanted to move and hunt and act without restraint.It really was freeing.I don’t think I’ve ever given myself up to that kind of unconstrained instinctual behaviour.”

“Even with me?”

Cordelia smiled.“I comethe closest when making love to you, but even then there’s that restraint of civility that I was raised with.Do you have that?Do you feel free in animal form?”

“Not free so much as everything is so much simpler.You act on instinct most of the time.You don’t have to worry about diplomacy with the deer you’re stalking.You just stalk and when they’re weak, you go for the kill.It’s so much less complex.”

“So am I going to like this experience so much I’ll look forward to the moon?”

“Remus never did.But he was brought up to really believe he was evil when he became a wolf.I’m beginning to see why you think your experience might be different.”

“Don’t get me wrong … It wasn’t wholly pleasant.I was a bit grossed out by the entrails of that animal.The smells and sounds of the jungle were frightening and overwhelming.But the fact of being there with others, and you, it didn’t seem evil, or wrong, or frightening.I wouldn’t wish this on anyone, because intellectually I know it has to be worse out there in the world, but this change wasn’t nearly as scary as I imagined.I dare say it was thrilling to run through the jungle like that.”

“You had a great place to run.We used to run like that in the Forbidden Forrest at Hogwarts.Now, that was scary.I saw so many odd creatures in there, but surprisingly a lot of them were friendlier than you’d think, some weren’t friendly at all either.”

“So is this what you experience when you run with Remus?”

“Yeah.It’s that basic elemental run.It’s a great stress reliever.There are times I check the moon phase when I’m particularly stressed.It hasn’t worked out except for that one Christmas.Remus and I seem to keep missing each other.”

“Why don’t you go out more on your own?” Cordelia asked, running her hands through her hair.

“It’s not as much fun.Dogs are pack animals.We don’t like the solitary hunt.”

“There are times you like to be alone, though,” she countered.

“Yeah, I’ve gone out and run alone sometimes, but it doesn’t quite do the same thing as when Remus is there to hunt.I don’t need to hunt or to feed, so I usually don’t.It’s a run without a real purpose and it feels very self-indulgent without the benefit of a sense of fulfilment.”

“You’ve thought about this?”

“Yeah.I tried it a couple of times and it just didn’t relieve as much stress as a hunt with Remus.When he’s along, he has to hunt.He has to feed on something, I mean, there are times he doesn’t, particularly when he takes his potion regularly, but when he does hunt it’s with a purpose and gives the outing a focus that me just running about in the woods doesn’t.”

They were quiet for a bit.Just resting and relaxing in each other's arms.Touching all those warm, soft places.

Sirius kissed her again.This time it was slow and gentle and they took a very long time to touch and stretch and caress.It was a long process that started small and built slowly.During that building she felt it again.It wasn’t as large or persistent as it had been just before the full moon, but she knew it was there and it seemed to respond to his touch.It stretched when she stretched and it paced slowly within her.When he stroked her, it rubbed up against the area from the inside.It seemed to want to reach out to him, when she reached out to him.It was subtle, and gentle, and it distracted and confused her.But it felt wonderful.They neared climax with low soft sounds, and she felt it stretch and try to touch him.He climaxed and in between shuddering breaths, he looked at her, surprised and whispered, “What the hell was that?”

She smiled and knew she could touch him in new and different ways.This definitely had possibilities.

*****************

“Do I get my wand back?"Draco asked Cordelia as she was signing the paperwork for his release from the Lair’s medical unit.

“Yes.We’re meeting Sirius and Alejandro at the gate and he said you would get it back at that time.”

“Alejandro?” Draco raised his eyebrow and leered.

“Yes,” Cordelia said simply in an exasperated tone.

“All right.Are we glad to be going home?”

“Of course.”Cordelia turned swiftly and left the room.

Draco thought her response seemed a bit off.Like she really wasn’t sure she wanted to leave, but was reciting the correct answer.He finished gathering the few things he’d been given while being healed, mainly clothes and a few toiletries, into a small duffle and left the room.Cordelia was down the hall, a bit laughing and saying good-bye to a doctor and a few of the nurses.She was obviously very familiar with them and they seemed to like her.He heard expressions that they would miss her as she reassured them that she would be back.He approached the group cautiously.Most of the people here eyed him with suspicion, although he swore he’d done nothing to warrant it, except show up and get injured.

His injuries had healed, however a large scar remained across his belly.He was told it would fade slowly and eventually would not be visible.He was also told not to mess with it magically as that would exacerbate the problem, something about the type of blade.Draco thought they were full of it, as he’d never heard of a blade wound that a good mediwizard couldn’t fix quickly.He wondered why they would lie or maybe they were just deluded.He’d research it at the I.F.W. Library when he got home.Better yet, maybe he could get Hermione to look it up for him.

Cordelia finished up with the group as Draco approached.

“Are we ready, Mrs. Black?” Draco said formally.

“Yes.Yes, we’re ready.Good-bye all.”

They all recited a final good-bye and Cordelia led the way down the corridor.

“Why don’t they trust me?”Draco asked when they were out of earshot.

“You attacked their sanctuary,” Cordelia responded as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“No, that’s not all of it.Sirius attacked them as well, so why does he get the welcome mat and I get treated like a prisoner.”

“Connections, I suppose, Draco.Honestly, you haven’t been treated like a prisoner.”

“All right, not a prisoner, just someone who wasn’t allowed a wand or allowed out of his room without an escort of large, burly men.”

“They didn’t let you out?” Cordelia asked, obviously surprised.

“No.”

“Oh.How odd.Well, it might be your family.Do you know who it was or what they did to make Allejandro so suspicious of you?”

Draco shook his head.“No idea.I knew my mother’s family was involved with the British colonials in the 30s and 40s, but I don’t know of any of my father’s family who made trouble around here.”

“Allejandro got very upset when he heard a Malfoy was here, so it must have been your father’s side.”

“There’s no telling.They did all sorts of nasty horrible things.Sometimes they had cause, though.Are you sure that whatever my family did, it wasn’t provoked?”

“Why would they provoke?All the wereleopards want is to be left alone in peace.We don’t want anything to change.We just want the world to ignore our existence and let us be.”

Draco thought Cordelia sounded a bit like someone reciting a part in a play.“Look, Cordelia, has it occurred to you that these creatures aren’t necessarily all they seem.You seem to see them as fun-loving peaceniks who are inherently good and mean no one any harm.”

“Why can’t they be just that?”

“Cordelia!They are wild animals part of the time.The rest of the time they live in fear of being discovered.This kind of violence combined with vulnerability tends to lead to … shall we say morally ambiguous behaviour most of the time.”

“And what would you know about moral behaviour?” Cordelia countered.Draco could tell he’d hit a sore spot.

“Next to nothing, I admit, but I know the types of alliances that other wereanimals made with The Circle and what happened to those who didn’t want to succumb to the type of blackmail we subjected them to.”

Cordelia stopped and looked at him.“What did you do?”

“First we’d threaten to expose them.If that didn’t gain their cooperation and alliances, then we’d try to persuade them that the Ministry would want them dead, which was absolutely true there for quite a number of years.Didn’t Sirius tell you why Remus left Britain?”

“Yes, he did.I know they did these things in the past, but things are different now.”

Draco was sceptical.“Maybe yes and maybe no, but you don’t change people’s prejudices that quickly.”

“So what did the Circle do with wereanimals they couldn’t control?”

“I used to hunt them for fun.We’d get a group of wizards together and go bagging werewolves.We also hunted Swanmanes and occasionally wererats, but they were a bit harder to find and werewolves were easier prey.I always wanted a swanmane skin, though.”

“You hunted them?”Cordelia was shocked.

“Yes.”

“Without repercussion?”

“There wasn’t a wereanimal rights league and most thought we were doing the world a favour to rid an area of werewolves.”

Draco thought Cordelia looked a bit ill.

“So there’ll be people still hunting me?”

“Wereleopards were always just a rumour, so I doubt a concerted effort will be made right away, unless Allegra has gotten wind of this vast organization.As far as I know she hasn’t.But that doesn’t mean she won’t.What I’m saying is … be careful.Don’t trust everyone just because they are a wereleopard.They could give you up in a flash.”

“Why would they betray all this?” she asked as she gestured to the cavern they were walking along.

“Because they can.Because they would benefit from it or because they would like to see you hurt.You already know about Peregrine, right?”

“Yes, Sirius filled me in on that.We need to do something about him right away.”

“Yes, we do, but who knows who he’s told and what their plans might be.”

Draco could see he’d disturbed Cordelia as they turned a corner.Sirius and the Rex and various guards were standing at the gate about half way down that corridor.

When they were close enough, Cordelia went over to Sirius and slid her arm around his back.She looked like she was seeking his protection.Draco had meant to upset her.He just hoped she got the message that this wasn’t something to be taken lightly.

The Rex eyed him suspiciously.He eyed him back, not bowing in deference or otherwise acknowledging his position.

“May I have my wand back?” Draco asked, trying to keep his voice neutral.He could do diplomatic if he had to.

A guard with a deep burn wound in his arm handed it to the Rex.

“I would appreciate it, Mr. Malfoy if you did not visit us again,” the Rex said through tight lips.

“Trust me,I was not impressed with your hospitality.May I ask why the suspicion?”

The Rex raised an eyebrow, but seemed to relax a bit.“I thought you would know.”

“Know what?”

“Do they not teach you history in your family?” the Rex asked in an exasperated tone.

Draco smiled, “Yes, but only the glorious stuff.If we failed at something, it’s forgotten.”

The Rex nodded his head, “Ah, that explains everything.You see, Mr. Malfoy, your grandfather tried to force us to serve Grindelwald.He exposed us and brought an army to the door of this cavern.It was a long battle and more than half of our strongest leopards were killed, but we did fight him off and we did win.We killed the entire army.We allowed your grandfather to live, but altered his memory of the battle.He thought he was fighting .”

Draco snorted, “I’ve heard that story as a caution against being arrogant.But you’re right, the opponent was always Re'em.All right, I can accept your caution of me.I will not disclose this location.I may be morally ambiguous, but I understand the need for discretion and I’m loyal to them who pays the bills.”

“So money can buy you off, Mr. Malfoy?”

“No, not always anyway.”He grinned.

“I don’t trust you,” the Rex stated flatly.

“I realize that.”

The Rex turned his attention to Sirius and Cordelia.

“It was a pleasure meeting you.Both of you.I hope we can arrive at a mutually agreeable settlement.”

“So do I,” Sirius said with a bow of his head.

The Rex handed Cordelia an ammonite, “This is your Portkey.Do not be a stranger to this place.”

“I won’t.” Cordelia was smiling again.The look of fear had been replaced with contentment.Like someone who had just had a great holiday.

While Cordelia was getting some last instructions and names and locations, Draco pulled Sirius aside.

“She doesn’t get it, does she?” Draco asked.

“No.Not really.”

“Will it be different for her?”

“Maybe a little, but not much,” Sirius responded with a sigh.

“I didn’t think so.I tried to impress upon her what’s going to happen if anyone finds out at home.How vulnerable she’s going to be.”

“Is that why she looked ill when you got here?”

“Yes.I was trying to scare her.”

“Not that I don’t appreciate the effort, Draco, but she’s going to have to experience it on her own.Maybe she’ll be fine.I hope to God she is.I hope this can be turned into a positive experience rather than a nightmare.”

“Do you think it can?” Draco asked doubtfully.

“I don’t know, and it makes me sick to my stomach to think about it.”

“Okay, as long as one of you is facing reality.”

The Rex was ushering them out of the gates.The guard arranged them around the new ammonite Cordelia had been given.She held out her palm.The guard sliced through it.As the blood touched the stone, they disappeared.

They landed in Sirius’ office at the IFW.They were home.