A Moaning Tale

A Moaning Tale

It took me a while to figure it out, it really did. But in the end I realised.

The truth is... I'm in love with the Bloody Baron.

Now I know that most of you think that I'm in love with Harry, but there's the slight problem of him being still alive. Quite disastrous. Add in the fact that he's obsessed with Dumbledore and making him happy and he's actually kinda wrong.

Now, Dumbledore frustrates me to no end. "It's alright Myrtle, you'll be fine." The last time he said that I was dead the next time he saw me. Stupid man. Well, actually not that stupid, just frustrating. He's just so god damn sneaky it's a surprise he wasn't put in Slytherin.

And there's another thing that vexes me greatly, the all powerful and mighty slither - shits. I always wondered why they couldn't just call their house that. That's what they are any way. Just little pieces of shit that stink up all the corridors hoping to catch a stupid little first year.

First years should be locked up. Stupid big bags and ugly faces. Get a life kids, only the slither shits want to eat you! Oh, and maybe Filch. But he wants to eat everyone. So does his stupid cat...

Ms, Norris! My perfect little angel! Yeah, only if you ate something once in a while. Stop being such a dramatic anorexic cat and get a life! Take after Crookshanks for gods' sake! Gain some weight! Look in the mirror and for once don't think "Oh My God, I'm fat!" Think "Oh My God I look like a piece of chewed up and spat out leather!"

Besides, think of those who can't eat any more. We only taste memories. And what if we never had the food to start off with? We just have a strange passing through sensation. Just like when stupid kids walk through us.

No, it's not pleasant for us and we don't do it willingly. We feel almost nothing and to have one of those feelings make you think your going to throw up what isn't in your stomach, not nice at all. Someone up there just doesn't like us.

Heaven is another issue. If we are meant to go to heaven - all of us I mean, then why did I get stuck behind in this limbo?

I hate limbo too. It's so annoying to play limbo with people shorter then you! They can easily go lower then you to start off with. And then they get away from the game and complain that they're "too short" and "need to grow".

I've stopped growing too. That's kind of annoying as ghosts are meant to be large and scary and honestly, I'm this miniscule little pipsqueak that got the nick name of 'Moaning Myrtle...'

I guess I do moan a lot, and I don't really care. If you were killed when you were 15 or whatever age I was, you'd be slightly annoyed as well... I feel as though my life was cut short abruptly and there's no way to get back into the flow of what was before.

But back to the point that started all of this.

I, Myrtle Mycombie the second, am in love with the Bloody Baron, and have no idea what to do about it...