The Road Home

Chap.1 - ALONE

Once again, there she was, thinking about him. Him above all others. Sirius Black. His dark eyes full of mischief, his prankish smile, his strong arms and hands that knew how to hold a woman so well. She sighed, sadness all over her blue eyes. Would she ever be with him again? Would she ever be happy as she once was? Only with him. Never with anybody else. Certainly not with her evil husband

Narcissa knew that he had escaped from Azkaban two years ago and ever since she wondered where he was. He was hidden; there was no doubt about that. It was the only possible and safe alternative he had. She always believed in his innocence. Always. Not just because she knew his strong sense of ethics and the devotion he had for James and Lily Potter. No. She knew he was innocent because she loved him.

‘Loved, Narcissa? Past tense? Are you sure?’ she question herself.

With another sigh, she stared at the open book on her lap, eyes lost in the past. She remembered very well their first kiss. So soft, innocent, and beautiful. Then Lucius came, and with him a contract of marriage, a sense of duty to her family and a disgraceful life. She loathed Lucius with all her heart. At the beginning of their marriage he was extremely educated and refined, all of his moves and attitudes mathematically calculated. All lies. As soon as Draco was born – no, even before that; she had been stupidly blind – he had truly shownwhat he was. A man that didn’t know love. A cold, heartless bastard. A monster.

And then all hell broke loose. She never knew what to expect from Lucius. One moment he was amiable and pleasant, and then all of a sudden he became rigid and angry and violent. She tried with all her strength to protect Draco from his mood swings. And at least in this aspect of her life she was successful. Or so she thought.

A solitary tear escaped from her eyes but she quickly repelled it.

“Mother?” – She heard the drawling voice of her son calling her. Mother. Not ‘mum’, as it used to be when he was just a little boy. Only ‘mother’, with that cold tone that Lucius had taught him.

She used to blame Lucius for that, but deep inside she knew it was her fault because she was too afraid of him and what he could do to Draco if she didn’t obey his orders. She was never allowed to touch her own son or to whisper loving words in his ears. Not even a hug was permitted. According to Lucius, their son would only be stronger if he taught him not to be weakened by the artifices of love. But all she saw in all those years was a lonely, defensive and scared boy.

With another sigh she shut the book very delicately, hiding an old photograph within the leaves.

“Yes, son?” she replied in a whisper.

“Father wants to see you.”

She frowned, thinking why Draco had come personally instead of one of the house elves. For a moment, she didn’t know what to say. Then she finally had the courage to ask. “And why are you here?”

“Because.” Draco paled with a sudden emotion but it quickly vanished from his perfect face. “Because I was wondering if you would take me to Diagon Alley tomorrow to shop for the new school year.”

She saw a gleam of hope in his eyes. She was shocked for a moment, but then she smiled.

“Of course I will, dear.”

Not everything was lost, she thought.

“Ok.”, and then he was gone.

Narcissa stood up and arranged her clothes. Then she looked at her image in the mirror. Blond hair, blue eyes, and an extremely disagreeable face.She couldn’t help herself from being unpleasant in front of Lucius. But she would still try to keep up the appearances, for the sake of her son. Maybe some day she would have the courage to face her husband and all that he represented. One day the mask would fall.

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Draco Malfoy had changed severely ever since Lord Voldemort was back in power. His father still didn’t trust him enough to spill out valuable information about the Death Eaters, but he already had take him to one of theirs meetings. He’d never felt so nauseated in his entire life.

Maybe when he was younger – well, not that much younger since he had actually enjoyed what happened on the Quidditch Cup with those muggles – he would have enjoyed seeing muggles being turned upside down. But actually seeing people – real people – being tortured and murdered was... dreadful. It’d been the worst experience in his short life. When he returned home, he instantly felt ill. He tried not to let his father notice, but Lucius had looked at him with disgust, like he knew exactly what Draco was feeling. He knew Draco had not enjoyed one bit of the show they’d played. Draco also knew he would pay dearly for that moment of weakness. But curiously, Lucius hadn’t said a word. And Draco had the impression that his mother had something to do with it.

After that episode, being a Death Eater wasn’t so appealing to him anymore. Sure he liked power and its ramifications. He was ambitious, just like a Slytherin should be. He didn’t like the idea of mudbloods studying at Hogwarts or in any other school of magic. But he wasn’t ready to kill them off for his beliefs. He was almost completely sure he wouldn’t ever be ready for something like that.

But the most terrifying thing of all things unsettling was that new feeling in his heart that seemed to grow bigger each day. The feelings he discovered he had for none other than Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived.

Nervously, he buried his face in his hands. He was so confused. He absolutely couldn’t be in love with his enemy. Not now. Not ever. He had sworn never to love anyone. He feared what his father would do to him if he found out. Malfoys were not allowed to love.

But he couldn’t help being in love with Harry Potter. Not anymore.

He had said terrible things to Harry at the end of the fourth year. Not because he wanted to, but because that’s what was expected. Everybody expected him to be nasty and act like a Malfoy, so he’d done it. And he’d regretted.

The truth was that he’d been really scared when Harry had been taken away. The thought of losing him was unbearable. But there was no doubt in his heart about his feelings for the other boy. He was in love with him. All that hatred had been a mask. Ever since the first day he’d loved Harry Potter, so when the tiny boy with messy raven hair had turned down his offer of friendship, he’d been deeply hurt.

Of course, since he was a Malfoy, he couldn’t possibly let it show just how offended and hurt he was. His father expected him to be cruel and unpleasant to everyone beneath him. Therefore he tried to make Harry’s life as miserable as possible. After all, he’d chosen a Weasley over him... God, the boy had nerves.

But then, he couldn’t help admiring Harry for it - he loved everything about him. His gentle smile, his courage and the natural talent he had for quidditch, even the indomitable black hair. And nothing, absolutely nothing could be compared to his beautiful and intense green eyes. Harry was unique.

The question was: ‘what was he suppose to do now that he finally had the courage to admit to himself that he was in love with Harry Potter?’

The answer came quicker than he imagined.

After lunch, he’d accidentally heard a conversation between his father and some Death Eaters that gave him shivers. Voldemort was planning to kill some muggles chosen by chance, the Weasley family – the most notorious muggles’ lovers – and Harry Potter. According to his father, Voldemort had discovered a way to break the spells that protected Harry and it was only a matter of time.

At first, Draco didn’t know what to do with this information. He’d never felt so lonely and useless. At least one thing he knew for sure: he couldn’t let Harry die.

So, without thinking – because if he did he would realize the magnitude of the thing he was about to do and be scared off – he took a piece of parchment and wrote a warning message to Dumbledore, the headmaster of Hogwarts.

While his owl flew through the sky with the parchment, unsigned, tied to its legs, Draco closed his eyes for a moment, trying to think what to do next. Suddenly it all became very clear to him. He would act normally in front of his father and friends. He would pretend to hate Harry as he always did. And most important of all, he would become a spy.

He swore for his sake and Harry’s that he would, at all costs, take Voldemort down.

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Harry lost the count of how many times he reread Sirius’s letter. According to it, his godfather was all right, but somehow Harry couldn’t stop feeling that something wasn’t right. He continued to read the letter endlessly, hoping to spot something between the lines.

He heard a loud snore coming from Dudley’s bedroom and frowned. The Dursleys still ignored Harry completely, even more than usual actually. And for that Harry was profoundly grateful. He just wanted to be left alone. The previous year at Hogwarts was the most painful and difficult time of his life. Frequently his mind went back to Voldemort and to Cedric’s death. He knew it wasn’t his fault but he couldn’t help felling guilty about it. If only...He shut his green eyes and sighed. He wouldn’t allow himself to cry, no matter how painful it was.

Hedwig seemed to sense his sadness, because she quickly flew to Harry’s bed and pecked him affectionately. He laughed a little.

Suddenly he heard the front door open loudly and quickly jumped out of bed, wand ready. His body trembled a little but he kept the wand firmly raised. The door of his room opened and a tall man with dark eyes entered. Harry held his breath for a second.

“Sirius!?” he shouted, astonished.

“Harry!” They embraced each other. “God, are you all right?”

“What? Why are you here? And why wouldn’t I be ok?”

“Harry...” Harry noticed the cautious tone in Sirius voice and shuddered.

“What is it? What’s wrong?” asked Harry urgently.

“There was an attack. At the Burrow.”

A deadly silence. And then the storm.

“NO! It can’t be. Tell me it’s a lie.”

“It’s true, Harry. But...” Sirius couldn’t finish because Harry interrupted him.

“Oh my God! They are dead, aren’t they?” Harry fell down on the bed, his entire body shaking.

“NO! Listen to me, Harry! They are fine. And safe.”, and before Harry could say anything, Sirius added, “Dumbledore warned them on time. But you have to get out of here. This place is not safe anymore. There are only a few spell barriers left to protect you. I came here to pick you up. Can you pack quickly? We have to go as soon as possible.”

Harry was too stunned to do anything. All he did was stutter senselessly.

“But Sirius, how... I mean what...” and he suddenly became aware of a very peculiar fact. The Dursleys hadn’t woken up. “Why are the Dursleys still sleeping?”

“I cast a spell on them. I’m truly sorry but it was necessary.” Sirius looked guilty.

“WHAT? Are you insane? You can’t cast spells. What if the Ministry tracks you down?”

“That is a risk I had to take. Honestly, Harry. I broke a lot of rules to come here today. And I don’t care. All I care right now it’s your safety. We need to get the hell out of here.”

“Where are we going?” asked Harry while he packed.

“To a safer place.Just write a note to the Dursleys and then we are out of here. Don’t worry about them, I think they will be fine.” noticing Harry’s hesitation, he added, “They’ll be fine, Harry. Dumbledore is taking care of the situation. And I promise I’ll explain everything to you after we get out.”

Harry just nodded. He trusted his godfather. Then why was he still standing there motionless? Quickly, he got out of the trance. A few minutes later, they were gone.

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A few days later, Harry was still astonished about the whole thing. Sirius had taken him to Remus’s hiding place. He was actually having a good time, except that once in a while his heart ached for his dearest friends Ron and Hermione. He knew they were all right because Dumbledore frequently gave him news about what was happening. Otherwise he would probably have gone nuts. He wasn’t allowed to keep in touch with his friends because Sirius feared that his correspondence would be intercepted. And for his and theirs sake, he had to accept that without complaining.

As the days went by, the anger he felt for Voldemort only increased. He knew he was only alive thanks to one of Dumbledore’s spy. He wished he could thank him – or her – for that. But apparently even Dumbledore didn’t know who this person was. Harry had the feeling that even if the headmaster knew who the spy was, he wouldn’t tell.

Unfortunately, the warning of the mysterious person hadn’t been enough. A muggle family was dead. Harry had shivers just thinking about it. Sirius didn’t want to tell him the details, but he knew it must have been awful. In one of the house walls, they found a message addressed to Harry. He was the next target, and sooner or later he would get caught. And he only knew this because one night he woke up suddenly from a disturbing dream and as he took a walk to calm down, he heard fragments of a conversation between Sirius and Remus.

The dream was another thing that was bothering Harry incessantly. He dreamed that he was facing Voldemort and beside him was none other than Draco Malfoy. He thought he would have to fight both, but at the last minute Malfoy was suddenly by his side, helping him. It had been really bizarre.

‘Do you trust me Harry?’ Draco had asked him.

‘I don’t know. How can you be by my side? You hate me.’

‘No, I don’t. I never did. Don’t forget that. Don’t you ever forget that.’ And the gray eyes were so sincere that Harry felt his heart melting.

‘Harry!’

Suddenly Voldemort attacked them, and Draco jumped in front of Harry, saving his life.

‘NO! Draco!’ Harry cried as he watched the other boy falling. He knelt beside Draco and took his hand. ‘Don’t die. Please, don’t die.’ But it was too late.

Then Harry had woken up all sweaty and trembling. What was that all about? he asked himself. In the dream he felt something strong for Malfoy, something that he couldn’t even say it aloud. The opposite of hate. But that was totally impossible. He hated Draco Malfoy, and vice versa. He couldn’t possibly... He closed his eyes, trying to think of something else.

This was disturbing him as much as the thought of Voldemort killing those muggles.

With a deep sigh, he promised to himself about two things. One, that he would never think about Malfoy like that – like he was important to him, because he wasn’t. And two, that he would face Voldemort at all costs. Alone.