The Life of a Wall

One would think that the life of a wall would be boring. In truth, I believe it is, especially for those trapped inside a classroom. However, I have never known the inside of a classroom; I have only known the outside world. You see, I am the wall on the very top of the Astronomy Tower. Yes, the day is quite boring for hardly a soul goes up there. On Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays, Professor Sinistra teaches his astronomy class, which, that too can become rather dull. The same lessons year after year after year--I have them memorized.

The only thing exciting about my life are the nights when there are no astronomy classes. You see, those are the nights when students are out past curfew, up to things they possibly shouldn't be. My first night in the tower was- good Lord! I don't remember how long ago it was! I had just replaced my predecessor who had been tragically blown up by some pranksters. I remember watching the skies when I heard a noise. I noticed two students out of bed and on my tower--one boy, one girl.

When they began to kiss, I tried to ignore them, I really did. But all I could hear was moaning, which of course, drew my attention. "Oh Severus, you turn me on!" "Shush, Evans or I won't bring out the whip!" "Oh no! You wouldn't!" As you can see, it was truly disturbing. Later I found out that it was Severus Snape and Lily Evans. According to their common room walls, they were the least likely people to be doing that. It was quite disgusting.

More recently, however, I have had to endure Harry Potter. He comes up at least once a week, just before dawn. He always brings Crookshanks with him. If I thought the whip thing was disturbing, this was a billion times worse. For the most part, I do watch the people on my tower, but when Harry is involved, I choose not to. From the sound of it, he and Crookshanks "get busy with it" in the worst way. It's truly awful. Of course, in a few months, he'll forget Crookshanks and come up with another animal. I've seen him with Trevor the toad and his own owl, Hedwig! You can imagine the emotional scars this has left me with.

A more...normal pair that I have seen would be Draco and Ginny. They do not use whips or screw animals. In fact, they are perfectly polite to each other. They are rather fun to watch because of that. Did you know that once I saw twins up here? Two pairs in fact. Padma and Parvati Patil along with Fred and George Weasley. The two pairs met up here around midnight, apparently unintentionally. They started off ignoring each other, going about their own...business, but eventually they were in one big group. While it was disgusting, I couldn't help but creak. What's that? Oh, us walls communicate by creaking and groaning. In that case, I was laughing.

During the Triwizard Tournament, I even got to see two half-giants up here. One was French, a Madame Maxime and the other was the game keeper, Hagrid. With both of them up here, it was all I could do not to groan in pain. Another pair during the Tournament was Professor Karkaroff and Professor Snape. Unfortunately, Snape used his cursed whip, and I was forced to endure more moans and grunts of pleasure.

Last night must have been THE busiest night in my entire existence. Hermione and Ron were up here for a bit, before Hermione woke up and, upon realizing what he was doing, hexed Ron until he resembled a pile of dust. I saw Lavender and Dean. They were much more normal, considering what I have seen in the past. Crabbe and Goyle were up here together. The wall in their dorm told me they'd been at it since their first year, but of course this was their first time up HERE. Who else was here? Oh yes! How could I forget? Dumbledore and McGonagall were here for a short while, but they both decided not to go to far and promptly left. I saw Seamus Finnigan as well. He was meeting Pansy Parkinson and Millicent Bulstrode. I shall not go into the horrors of what I saw. I shall only say that I never again wish to see two ugly girls with equally ugly bodies shagging a boy with nothing special about him. And I mean NOTHING!

Luckily enough, it's not ALWAYS people shagging and kissing up here. Occasionally, no one comes here. At all. Then I can enjoy peace and quiet and day dream about Harry Potter. What? You want to know why Potter? I'll tell you why. When he's been up here more than anyone else, you begin to see him in a new light. If you have seen him nearly naked as I have, you realize that he's quite gifted. I know, I'm shameless, but I've been stuck up here so long. Oh dear! Harry is coming up here right now!

He's alone.

In no time at all, I realize that he has ended whatever it was he had with Crookshanks. It's me he wants. Finally, someone appreciates me! Oh, Harry's GOOD! I'm sorry, but I'm going to end brooding for now and move on to Harry.