Lily Evans: A History

Lily Evans; A History
Chapter 55 – To say goodbye
By: Bethany
Rated: PG
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"James? Are you awake?" Lily whispered, half of her wanting him to answer and half of her not.

James sat up on his bed. Apparently he had been awake for a while, his eyes were wide open. "Lily? Come in."

James couldn't fathom why Lily was in his bedroom at six thirty in the morning. Or even why she was in his room at all, actually. He had barely seen her except at meals for the past week. But here she was, closing his bedroom door and walking over to his bed uncertainly. James sat up, grabbing his glasses and putting his feet on the floor. He reached for a robe and put it on since he was wearing nothing except pajama trousers. Lily waited, standing uneasily at the foot of his bed. "Are you ok?" James asked worriedly. When he turned the light on it was easy to see that Lily had been crying recently.

Lily nodded, though she didn't speak. Instead she walked over and sat beside him on the bed and handed him the crumpled letter she had been clutching. James took it, looking at her uncertainly as he flattened it out and read it. When he finished he stared at it for a minute, silently thanking Will, though he knew better than to say that aloud. He handed it back to Lily. "I don't know what to say," he admitted, trying not to sound too happy. After all, just because Will had broken up with Lily didn't necessarily mean he would be able to start seeing her.

Lily sighed, staring at the parchment in her hands. "What do you think?" she asked softly.

"About what?" James asked.

"About what he said," Lily clarified. She tilted her head to the side and looked at him. "Do you think he's right?"

James swallowed hard. "About the way you feel about me?" he asked hesitantly. Never before in his life had James wished so badly that he was saying the right thing.

The redhead witch nodded, staring James directly in the eyes. He tried not to let out a breath of relief. Lily, on the other hand, was nervously trying to work James out. She had to see if he felt the same; though goodness only knew that after that kiss at the Christmas party, she was pretty sure she knew the answer. But she wanted to hear it all the same. James looked at the letter then back at Lily. "I certainly hope so."

For the first time in a week James saw Lily smile; truly smile, not the small sad twitch of the lips she had been displaying around the house. He let out a deep breath that he hadn't realized he had been holding. Ever so slowly he reached up, cupping Lily's face in his hands. He smiled at her slightly. "I'd kiss you, but I have horrible morning breath."

"Who cares?" Lily whispered and brought her face forward and her lips to his. It was quick, but James felt like nothing else could ever be wrong in the world. His heart seemed to explode with so many feelings that he probably could have danced on the ceiling.

Lily sat back on the bed, opened her mouth to say something and was immediately silenced by Olivia's voice coming from the doorway. There was a short knock and the door creaked open. "James? Is Lily in here?"

"Yes," James said, standing quickly and looking decidedly guilty. He shifted his weight back and forth from foot to foot nervously as the door opened further and his mother stepped in the room. He wasn't entirely sure why he felt this way, but Olivia didn't seem to notice.

"Oh. Lily, I was worried for a moment when the house elves said they couldn't find you. There is a man here about the funeral. Some last minute questions that he wanted to ask you. Something about not wanting to contact your sister."

"Who can blame him?" James muttered under his breath.

"James!" Olivia hissed reprimanding.

James shrugged and Lily smiled slightly. "It's ok. I can understand completely. Let me slip some jeans on and I'll be down."

When Lily had left the room, Olivia turned her attention to her only son. "Well?" she asked when James just stared at her, hoping with all his might that she would just leave him be. Apparently that was not his mother's plan.

James swallowed to calm his frazzled nerves. His heart was beating a mile a minute, and he was fairly sure that Olivia could hear it, even at the distance she stood across the room. He tried to shrug nonchalantly. "Will broke up with her," James said, as if he could care less.

Olivia's face fell slightly into a small frown, but her eyes betrayed her and were shining brightly. She cleared her throat. "Was she upset?"

"Not terribly," James replied, a glint in his eyes that nearly shone through the darkened room.

"That's good; the poor thing has been through enough. You should make sure you are there for her when she needs something. I imagine she's got more on her plate than she can handle at the moment."

James nodded. No matter how strong Lily would probably act today, James had been there when she had found out about her parents. And if it was the last thing he did, he was going to make sure he was there for her in any way she needed, and forever, if she would let him.

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The wind was harsh, at odds with how beautiful the world looked covered in the frozen white snow. Lily's hair, even though she had tied it up in a tight bun, had worked free by the time they had walked from the funeral cars to the double grave site, and was whipping her face. She didn't care. Couldn't care. The physical pain was nothing compared to what was going on inside her. The twisting, turning of fear, grief and sadness weighed down on her until she felt she may not be able to stand. Another bitterly cold wind gushed by, making her coat and dress robes whip around her legs. Beside her, James put one arm around her, rubbing her opposite arm to ease the chill. But Lily could barely feel it. Her skin was numb.

The service was beautiful. Many of her friends from school came, all looking as if one of their own had left them. Even Professor Dumbledore stood just to the back of the group, his sad eyes catching Lily's as she glanced around. James stood to one side of Lily, Kassie on the other. Sirius, Remus, Peter, Madison, Kathleen, Gabrielle, Kacy and James' parents all stood around her, lending whatever emotional support they could. Across the grave, as the minister spoke of how kind and loving Christine and Daniel had been to everyone they met, Petunia glared at Lily accusingly. Lily, try as she might, couldn't even come up with the strength to glare back. She couldn't imagine how Petunia could stand at the open graves of her mother and father and throw blame like it was a bomb sent out to destroy. To dishonour their parents that way... As if they didn't matter as much as her grudge. Lily knew that if she wasn't so numb already, a chill would crawl up her spine.

"As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear not, for I know He is with me..."

Lily felt something cold and wet travelling down her face. She gasped, the bitter chill of the air filling her lungs and causing her eyes to water. Or were they already watering? Tears, perhaps? Did she honestly have any more to shed? But as the minister threw a handful of dirt over the caskets that held her parents' lifeless bodies, Lily felt her resolve to hold her head high crack. James guided her over to the grave so that she could throw the two red roses she held into the grave to be buried underground forever with what was left of her childhood. Another tear and then another coursed down her face. Ahead of her Petunia's eyes were full of fire as she approached Lily. "This is your fault," she hissed just loud enough for Lily, James and Kassie to hear.

Kassie lunged forward, her bloodshot eyes making her look all the more furious. "Why you little... I'm going to tear you limb from limb if you say another word like that to Lily!"

Lily stood stock still, eyes wide, as Kassie pulled her hand back and Petunia ducked cowardly. Her mind was racing; Christine and Daniel were lying dead next to them, the dirt not even covering their coffins yet. Her father's face arose in her memory of Christmas morning when Christine had spoke of Petunia... he had seemed so sad and resigned. And yet Petunia stood here, less than a week later proving what Daniel already knew about his first born. Lily desperately wanted to believe that it was grief causing Petunia to act the way she was. But she knew better. Petunia was full of hate for Lily; not grief for their loving mother and father who lay before them, cold, dead and gone. A scream built up inside her throat, tearing loose. "Stop it. STOP IT!" she screamed, her fists clenched at her sides. "YOU WILL NOT DISHONOUR MY PARENTS THIS WAY! I WON'T HAVE IT!"

Kassie stopped, tears coming faster and faster down her face. For a moment she looked as if she would just get into a fist fight at the graveside but instead settled for throwing a disgusted look towards Petunia, and allowed Sirius to pull her back from the blonde. Vernon looked ready to say something, but slightly fearful. James watched him, unsure as to why he looked so terrified. Then he spotted it. Next to him Lily's hair seemed to be floating by itself. It rose higher and higher off her shoulders, though the wind was not blowing. Behind them Kathleen gasped. "James!" she hissed. "Make her stop!"

James had been so busy staring Vernon down that he hadn't even noticed that Lily's build up of magic was so high that the air surrounding her was nearly electrified. And when Kathleen had brought his attention back to Lily, it was nearly too late to avoid a mass hysteria of Muggles. He quickly put his arms around her; Kassie and Sirius blocked any view to everyone else at the grave. The air was hard to breathe it crackled so much. James had never witnessed such a sight and had no idea what to do. The faster the tears flooded Lily's eyes, the higher her hair rose and the more magic seemed to invade the oxygen around them. Lily had been staring at the ground, trying to control her emotions. She looked up and there was a flash of green, sharp and bright, then Lily fell to the ground before anyone could catch her. James and Remus swooped down, lifting her from the frozen Earth. There was a hush around them and suddenly out of the corner of his eye, James could see Albus Dumbledore pushing through the crowd. His eyes were sharp as blue ice, determination carved on his features. When he was finally within arms reach, he laid a wrinkled hand on Lily's shoulder and without warning her body went completely limp, almost has if her very bones had been removed.

"Get her to a bed, she'll be alright," Dumbledore said kindly, but his eyes still looked grave and filled with worry. James nodded, suddenly noticing the crowd of people on the outside of the ring their friends had made around Lily. With Lily's completely limp body, James was finding it harder than normal to pick her up. He strained slightly, then, before Sirius could get over to help, someone from out of the crowd stepped up and grabbed Lily from the other side, supporting her so James could get a grip. "Thank y--" James stopped short, the words leaving him. Will was standing on the other side of Lily, putting her arm around his neck so he could hold her better. The two of them walked in silence to place Lily in James' parents' car. Will looked at Lily slumped in the seat for a moment, then turned.

James finally regained his ability to speak. "Will!"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

Will nodded, turned and disappeared into the crowd.

Sirius walked his bike up to the side of the car James was standing at, Kassie sitting behind him and watching Will. "What was that about?"

James smiled slightly and slid into the seat. "Nothing."

The car door shut, causing Lily to blink and shake her head as the car moved away from the curb and toward the open road. "Are you alright?" Olivia asked, turning around to face the girl in the backseat, her voice thick with emotion and concern. "Lily?"

The redhead seemed oblivious that anyone was speaking to her. Her eyes were glued out the car window where she could clearly see the bulldozer putting dirt over her parents' grave. "Go faster, please," she whispered in response and buried her face in James' shoulder.

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Even though Lily felt like her life would never be the same again, that the world would just stop on the day of her parents' untimely death, it continued on. Despite what felt like an eternal night to Lily, the sun rose each morning. The day before the Hogwarts Express would once again carry Lily to the wizarding school that was now her only home, Olivia took her and Kassie to Diagon Alley. Lily's school books, packed away in her school trunk, had been spared by the fire that destroyed Lily's home. But her school robes and all of her Muggle belongings, save for the jewelry on her body and the shoes she wore to the ball, were gone. She shopped with no enthusiasm that she once had. She bought only what she needed, and nothing more. Even though the money her parents had left in her Gringotts vault was more than enough to cover her school supplies for the rest of her time in school, plus anything she might need personally. Now that they were gone, she silently thanked her father for setting the account up. Petunia would never help her pay for school.

Olivia, Kassie and Lily returned to Potter Manor early in the evening, but dinner had already been cleaned away. Kassie excused herself, saying she needed to get home, and Olivia said she would check on getting them something to eat. Lily nodded, even though she had no desire to eat.

The large house loomed empty to Lily has she stared around. The house elves had already taken her shopping bags up to her room, leaving nothing but their wisp of smoke as a sign they had ever been there to begin with. Lily sighed deeply, looking around as if she expected someone to just pop out of the shadows and speak to her. But no one did. The silence stretched on.

Lily walked aimlessly through the mansion, her shoes clicking on the marble floor and echoing off the walls. Though this house had always held a warmth and inviting atmosphere, today it seemed cold and empty. The way her heart felt. Until she stumbled upon a hand sticking out of a corridor, holding a single dark red rose.

"I wonder who that is for?" she asked, a smile coming unbidden to her lips.

"The most beautiful witch in the world, of course," James replied, stepping out of the shadow and offering the rose to Lily. She took it, inhaling the deep scent. But the sensation only brought back the memories of the rose she laid on her parents' grave. She closed her eyes against the invading image. "What's wrong?"

"It's nothing," Lily lied. She could tell by the look on James' face that he knew very well what she was thinking, but pretended to buy the excuse anyway. "Thank you for the rose."

"You are most welcome," James said, a stupid grin on his face. "Hey, Lily, you, eh, wouldn't want to hide out in a dark corner with me, would you?"

Lily blushed red. "You are a prat, James. What kind of question is that to ask a girl?"

"A bloody good one, in my opinion."

Lily laughed, causing another stupid grin to spread across James' face. "That's better. I told you, I love to hear you laugh." And without giving Lily a chance to reply, James grabbed her hand, pulled her close and kissed her.

"Oh! There you are, Lily. The house elves have made us a smal-Oh!" Olivia stumbled. "I'm so sorry!"

Suddenly James squealed, much like a small girl who ran across a spider in her dolls house. Lily's eyes were huge as she shot across the hall, away from James. "James! I'm so sorry!"

James' face was red, but for a completely different reason than Lily's was. He bent over, holding his hand over his mouth. "James?" Olivia asked, trying hard not to laugh.

"You-" he said, his voice slurring, "you bit my tongue."

Lily buried her face in her hands and Olivia burst into laughter, actually bending over and holding her stomach. "Are... you.. ok...?" she gasped, trying hard to control her laughter and failing miserably.

"Are you joking?" James stuttered. "I think it's bleeding. Food won't taste good for a week."

Lily peeked out from behind her hands, trying hard not to smile. "I'm so sorry James."

James walked over to her, his eyes actually blood shot. He stuck his tongue out. "You have to kiss it and make it better!"

Olivia shook her head. "Come on Lily, let's go eat. James, be a big boy and go gargle some healing potion."

Lily's face turned blood red, and she followed Olivia down the hall, walking a bit faster than was necessary.

Olivia suddenly started chuckling again. "That was brilliant, Lily. I wish I had a recording of that."

Lily giggled. "I'll just be right down," she explained, taking off towards the room she stayed in. "I'm just going to put this in some water." She slowed down as she came to her room, going in slowly and placing the rose in a glass of water from the bathroom. She looked in the mirror above the sink and noticed that her face was still very bright. "I wonder why I feel so embarrassed?" she asked her imagine. "I've never felt that way before. It's like I've something to hide. But I really want to tell the world that I'm with James Potter."

The image only mirrored Lily, giving her no reply. Which was probably a good thing, even though it wouldn't have surprised her as much as it would have this time six years ago.

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As expected, the next day the Hogwarts Express was right on time. Lily boarded with the other students, listening to all their happy chatter. Only the compartment she entered quieted after she opened the door. James, Peter, Remus, Sirius and Kassie were already inside, their faces turning sober upon her entry. She gave a small laugh, but even that sounded forced. "Don't mind me," she said softly, sitting in the only empty seat, next to James. Kassie gave her a wan smile and Peter looked even more sad.

"Are you ok?" Remus asked after a stretch of silence.

Lily nodded. "I will be."

The train started, leaving the Muggle world behind. Lily fell asleep soon after departure and didn't wake again until someone nudged her. "Lil, we're here. Come on," Kassie said.

Groggily Lily rose, entering the crowd of students as they made their way off the train. The night sky was punctuated by streaks of lightening as they boarded the carriages and returned to the school. The welcoming feast was probably delicious, but Lily didn't know, and would never be able to remember. The food moved around in her mouth much as if she had been chewing on cardboard. Dinner couldn't have ended soon enough and the group of Gryffindor sixth years headed towards Gryffindor Tower. After everyone had retired to their rooms, James lagged behind, obviously waiting on Lily. Making sure the room was empty, he grabbed Lily's hand. "Are you sure you're up to going to classes tomorrow?"

"I need to," Lily said honestly. "I can't bury myself in my room and get behind in my studies. My parents wouldn't want me to."

James smiled, leaning in and kissing her softly on the lips. "I'd really like to kiss you, but you're lethal." James chuckled and Lily blushed once again. "If you need to talk, you know where to find me."

Lily heard someone scurrying up the steps to the room she slept in. She felt her heart race. "I'll see you tomorrow."

James nodded, glanced up the stairs and whispered, "I love you."

Lily smiled. "Me, too." She watched James go up the stairs before she started up to her room. If she guessed correctly, someone from her year had witnessed what just happened in the common room. When she opened the door, she confirmed her suspicion.

Four girls sat on their respective beds, each looking like they were about to burst. Kassie was the first to speak. "How could you keep this from your best friend?!"

"Keep what?" Lily stuttered, her face glowing with heat. Something that had been happening a lot lately. She wondered if it would ever go back to its normal color.

Kassie crossed her arms in front of her and Kathleen and Gabrielle moved closer to the edge of their bed. "Keep what?" Kassie mocked. "You know what. I happen to have from a very reliable source that you just kissed James Potter."

Lily glanced accusingly to the twins, but both shook their head in innocence. Madison buried her face behind the pillow she was holding. "I'm sorry Lily," came her muffled voice. "I couldn't help it, I was going to see if I had left my bag in the common room..."

Lily waved her hands in the air to dismiss the apology. "It's fine. Yes, I'm dating James."

"What happened to Will?" Gabrielle blurted out.

"I've always known they would end up together," Kathleen said dreamily. "They were always those signs."

"Signs?" Madison said blankly.

"He broke up with her," Kassie said knowingly.

Lily wanted to crawl under her blanket and disappear. "When did that happen?" Gabrielle demanded.

"I can't believe he did that. But James has been hanging on her for months," Kathleen said, her arms crossed over her chest and bobbing her head up and down dramatically. "I knew it was coming."

"Months? Try years. Still, Lily, you should have told me first!" Kassie said suddenly.

"How did he ask you?" Madison asked, getting up off her bed and moving closer.

Lily had the distinct feeling that she was about to get pounced on. All four girls in her room were now off their beds, and moving closer with every unanswered question, or statement they made. Lily threw her hands up above her head. "QUIET!" Four girls stopped in their tracks, Kassie's arms still crossed over her chest where she was complaining to Gabrielle. "Now," Lily said in a would be calm voice. "Kassie, I'm sorry. The only time I've seen you was when I was with James' mother, and I didn't want to discuss it then. Will broke up with me the night before the..." she swallowed slightly, "funeral. But it wasn't a hateful break up..."

"Yeah," Kassie piped in, seemingly happy that she did at least know something about what had happened in Lily's love life. "He practically paved the way for you to be with James. Which you didn't tell me you were going to do!" Kassie added in with a huff "Oh, wait, does this have something to do with what happened when we left the funeral?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "I'm sure I don't remember. And what did you think I was going to do about James?"

"Why haven't you been acting all lovey dovey, then?" Madison asked suddenly. "James doesn't seem the type to settle with a kiss in a dark corner." Lily suddenly started giggling. "Even Remus.."

"We are not talking about Remus, here," Kathleen reminded Madison sternly. "We are talking about James Potter. I'm surprised the fact that he's going out with Lily isn't painted over the Great Hall in bright Gryffindor colours."

"Don't give him any ideas," Lily grunted, falling onto her bed.

Everyone climbed back onto the respective beds, but it was obvious they had no intention of going to bed until all the details were out in the open. But Lily, while she felt more comfortable talking amongst these girls than with, say, Olivia Potter, she still wasn't sure she wanted the whole school to know.

It was a tough job being the girlfriend of James Potter, she was told by the all knowing girls in her dorm. And that made Lily even more afraid for the world to know.

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Lily wasn't terribly sure, but it felt like a lot of people kept bumping into her the first day classes started back. At lunch, the feeling was amplified by the fact that she was positive that groups of people around the room were talking to one another and looking or pointing in her general direction. Trying to pass it off as her imagination, Lily forcefully ate her food, keeping her eyes down. But the noise level seemed to have been turned up a few notches when James, Sirius and Kassie came into the Great Hall and took their normal seats. Lily tried her best not to look around to confirm this thought.

"Hey love," Sirius said, draping his arm around Kassie and leaning towards her. "When do you suppose you'll be finished with that Charms essay?"

"When will I be finished, or when will I be letting you copy it?" Kassie replied.

James stuffed his bag under the table and poured himself some pumpkin juice. "Did you want to study together for the Defense Against the Dark Arts test this afternoon?" he asked Lily nonchalantly.

Lily felt like everyone at the table was awaiting her reply. Her face turned red. Again. "Sure."

"Did you see that, Padfoot?" Remus asked, grinning into his spoon.

"Sure did, Moony," Sirius replied with a mouth full of pudding. He swallowed loudly. "I believe James and Lily are going to study together."

The table they were sitting at, and the ones beside them, suddenly quieted for a split second. Lily blinked, unable to tell if she had imagined it. James grinned stupidly. Suddenly the noise turned back up and for the rest of the day Lily KNEW everyone was talking about her. Especially when, as they left the Great Hall, James took it upon himself to carry Lily's bag and grasp her hand tightly in his as they climbed the stairs for Muggle Studies.

Muggle Studies was usually one of Lily's favorite subjects by far. After all, it was fun to see the everyday things she took for granted as seen through the eyes of the wizarding world, but Lily couldn't concentrate on the lesson. The minutes seem to click by terribly slowly and try as she might she couldn't grasp what the teacher was talking about.

James, however, seemed not to be having problems with the class. Instead, having suddenly found a new reason for being serious about Muggle Studies, he was paying rapt attention to the steps needed to use a motion picture camera. Wasn't that what it was called? James glanced at his book to be sure before he opened his mouth. "Erm, Professor, how do the people become stuck to the-" he glanced at the book once more- "film?"

"They don't become stuck, per say, Mr. Potter. It records the image much like a camera will take a picture."

"Our pictures move like a motion picture camera, then?" Remus asked skeptically.

"Exactly. You do remember that Muggle pictures don't move, but catch only a single spot in time? The motion picture camera will catch long periods of time, but can't be framed like a picture. It has to be viewed on a projector."

James felt like his brain was going to explode. A what?! When the bell rang before the lesson could go onto projectors, James felt like saying a thank you prayer to Merlin. Throwing his books in his bag, he set off for Lily's desk as fast as he could manage through the horde of students trying to leave.

"Homework! Wizards and Witches, I want three pages on the history of the motion camera due next Monday!"

There were several groans, but James paid little attention. Next block was a free period that he intended to spend with Lily.

Studying... of course.

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If James thought he was going to get away with his new relationship without being mercilessly teased, he was yet again wrong. Nearly skipping in his steps, he left Lily in the Common Room after a rather long kiss goodnight and headed unthinkingly toward the room that he shared with his best mates. God willing, he was going to go to bed, dreaming wonderful dreams of the evening past and get up tomorrow morning to do it all again.

If only life was so predictable. Unbeknownst to James, he was about to walk into a scene not unlike the one Lily had faced the night before, only his mates were much more brutal than the teenage girls in year six would ever dream of being. The door creaked at the end, just like it always did when opened and James came in, giving the wooden door a shove behind him so that it would close. But the sound never came. James looked behind him and found Sirius standing just next to the door, a decidedly evil grin on his face. "Good evening Mr. Prongs," Sirius said delightfully, shutting the door gently. "How are you?"

James gave his best friend a look of complete puzzlement and raised an eyebrow. "Fine. Em, Padfoot, what's going on?"

"Oh, nothing. It's just that there is a very important decision you must make and I've been assigned to make sure you don't go out this door until it's made."

"Decision?" James asked.

"Yes," another voice answered. This voice was gravely serious and James wondered exactly what was so important that would cause his three friends to be acting as if the end of the world was upon them and they had to decide its fate. He swallowed. "What's going on?"

"We need to know who-"

"And you'd better bloody answer correctly, too," Sirius interrupted Peter.

Peter threw Sirius a sarcastic look. "Who, is going to be it?"

"It?" James felt his patience slipping as he backed up to his bed and put his bag down. For reasons unbeknown to him, he didn't want to turn his back to his friends at the moment, lest he have a spell cast on him from behind. "Care to explain?"

Sirius crossed his arms and wagged his head as if the answer were the simplest thing in the world. "Duh, Prongs. We need to know who the best man will be."

James' thoughts were trying to catch up with the conversation, and when finally they did, he felt like whipping his wand out and turning every last person in the room into a frog. Instead he slapped his hand to his forehead and shook it gently. "What are you all going on about?"

"The wedding!" Sirius emphasized, pounding his fist into his hand. "I can guarantee you that there is to be a wedding. Now, I know we've discussed this before, but I have first dibs on being the best man, as I'm your best mate. And you've known me longest."

"But, if it wasn't for me, you would never have become an animagus," Remus inserted.

"Touché Mooney," Peter quipped. "You are always saying how guilty you feel, yet when the time is right..."

"What about you and Kassie, Prongs? Or you and Madison?" James turned to face the werewolf who had a sad grin on his face.

"That won't happen, we all know that."

"We'll address that later, mate," Sirius said sternly to Remus, looking decidedly angry. "And Kassie and I are old news, anyway. I've been teased mercilessly, and I lived through it."

"Well, I'm going to sleep through it. So you three have fun," James announced, climbing onto his bed and closing the hangers. He cast a silencing spell on the curtains, pulled the blankets up to his chin and grinned to himself. "Marriage, eh? If I could get so lucky."

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News about Lily and James' relationship spread like wildfire in the Forbidden Forest after the first day back to classes. No one could quite figure out how sweet, innocent Lily Evans could be dating the Marauder, James Potter. But dating they were, and as the news settled down, it became customary to see them holding hands, hugging, laughing or kissing in the corners of the huge castle.

Lily hadn't given much though as to what would happen after the end of this year. After all, she didn't have a home to return to and she knew without a doubt that she wouldn't be staying with her sister. She couldn't stay with Kassie, because that meant living with Sirius and Lily just couldn't imagine barging in on such a situation. But it was a bridge she was sure she would cross when she came to it, and didn't plan on thinking about the walk until she got there.

However, certain other events in her life was about to come back and haunt her. Several weeks into February Lily received an owl at breakfast inviting her to have tea with Professor Dumbledore. Feeling uneasy and no longer as hungry as she had been, Lily replied to the invitation and sent it back out with Morgana just as the bell rang signalling the start of the first class.

"What was that all about?" James asked as Lily put her quill away and closed up her bag. James took the bag from her and slung it over his shoulder as they walked out of the Great Hall behind Sirius, Kassie, Madison, Remus and Peter, trooping outside to Care of Magical Creatures.

The cold air whipped around Lily's face as they made their way down the slope. "Professor Dumbledore has invited me to tea," Lily said, a little off handedly. "I can't imagine what he would want to have tea with me about. Strange, isn't it?"

James shrugged. "I don't know. Oh, hey Hagrid."

"Hi ya, James, Lily," the giant greeted, bowing his head and tugging on the large crop of what looked like giant yellow leaves behind him. "Come 'n see me later."

"Sure thing," James replied. Lily waved as Curly followed him around the corner. "Like I was saying, I don't know why he wants to see you. Perhaps about a class or something?"

"I don't believe so. Wouldn't Professor McGonagall handle such things?"

"Maybe," James replied, putting their bags down. In a clearing just inside the Forbidden Forest was a small herd of what looked like large ostriches. Only slightly different. They seemed stupid, somehow. Like they weren't exactly the brightest creatures of Earth. Lily looked at them strangely as they passed.

"Good morning class! Now, as I'm sure you've noticed we are in the company of some rather exotic creatures today. These, class, are Diricawl."

"Oh! I know what these are!" Kassie hissed excitedly. "DoDo birds!"

"Doody what?" Sirius asked, his eyebrows bunched in confusion.

"Dodo birds. You should be familiar," Remus said smartly.

Sirius scoffed. "Is there something you want to share with the class, Mr. Black?" Professor Kettleburn asked, surprisingly close to the group of friends.

Sirius' face broke into what was suppose to be an innocent grin. "No sir."

"Indeed. Now, as I was saying. The Diricawl is a large fluffy-feathered bird that is not capable of flight. Now, who can tell me what is the most popular known facts about the Diricawl?"

"Muggles were once fully aware of its existence," Remus offered.

"Correct, Mr. Lupin. However, because of the Diricawl's ability to vanish at will, Muggles now believe they are extinct. Can anyone tell me what other animal can vanish when it feels threatened?"

"The Phoenix," Lily said, thinking of the large bird that sat in the Headmaster's office. She acknowledged that Professor Kettleburn said she was right, and in turn rewarded Gryffindor with 10 points for her and Remus' answers, but Lily barely heard. The thoughts of Fawkes brought Lily back to her impending meeting with Professor Dumbledore that very afternoon. And that caused her mind to explode in questions that she didn't know the answer to.

---------------

After lunch Lily said goodbye to everyone, trying her best not to show that the request for this meeting meant anything to her. After all, this was by far not the first time she had been called to Professor Dumbledore's office. But now that she thought about it, every time she had been there had been over something magical she had done. Swallowing, Lily said the password, boarded the rotating stairs and found herself at the entrance to Dumbledore's domain.

She knocked, half hoping he wasn't there.

"Come in!"

Damn. Well, here goes nothing, she thought as she pushed the door open. It creaked slightly and Lily entered, feeling slightly self conscious about the dozens of frames of past Headmasters watching her as she moved across the room and to the offered chair in front of Dumbledore's desk.

Professor Dumbledore was dressed in light blue robes with twinkling stars and crescent moon shapes on it. The tall hat on his head matched, but he removed it once Lily entered. "I'm so delighted you could join me. Please, have a seat."

Lily sat as instructed, still feeling the butterflies dancing in her stomach. "Would you like tea? A biscuit, perhaps?" Dumbledore offered, waving his wand and causing a plate of food to appear. "I daresay these are the best the house elves can make."

"Eh-thank you," Lily replied. She wished badly that they could just get onto the subject at hand. Deciding not to beat around the bush with small talk, she leaned forward and took her teacup in her hand. "What did you need to see me about, sir?"

Dumbledore chuckled and poured himself a cup, then took a bite of a biscuit. Lily felt he didn't need to chew so long on it, and he studied her intently as he did. "I didn't want to ask to see you any sooner, hoping that the sting of recent events may have worn off."

Lily felt her stomach drop. What Kassie had told her had happened at the funeral... she didn't want to talk about it. Let alone with the Headmaster. "I see."

"Do you?" Dumbledore said cheerfully, as if the conversation was about nothing more than the weather. "I'm surprised you haven't sought me, or another Professor, out to talk about it. It's not exactly easy to deal with."

"Deal with?" Lily said, thinking she had been following the conversation, but wasn't so sure at the moment.

"The magic build up," Dumbledore explained with a wave of the hand. "You know, the static charge that is most likely humming around your magic after the dreadful event. I witnessed a large part of what happened at the funeral. Yet since then you haven't released the magic, have you?"

"Released?" Lily's face was of complete puzzlement.

Dumbledore suddenly looked worried. "You haven't released the pent up magic? From the build up at the funeral? You're magic hasn't been off since then?"

"No."

Dumbledore's eyes seem to bore into Lily with such a force that she felt like she might be crushed by its weight. "This, my dear, is a big problem."

--End Chapter 55.

Ok, assuming that most of the fans of this story haven't moved on, I'm going to put author's notes here for you :) There are some loyal readers, even though it's difficult lately to get things out in a timely manner. Have I mentioned Olivia's walking? Because she is. And that makes life just a tad bit more interesting. I don't know which was worse, not sleeping through the night or walking around (or running/crawling) away from me at all hours of the day. Either way, I'm exhausted.

Next week I'm heading to Disney World for our first family vacation; but that doesn't mean I don't want to hear what everyone thought about the chapter. I need to know, so that I know what to do/not to do about future chapters. Chapter 56 is started and is sure to have a few twists, turns and snogging scenes. I hope and pray it won't take so long to get it out as this one, but with the way my life is, I can't promise anything. I'm just so happy that there are still people who read and care if the next chapter comes out. I love all my fans :)!

HUGE thanks to Kate for being the wonderful person she is! And sooo much congratulations for her big news. Ahh, another little Harry Potter fan on the way. It's great when HP fans multiply, no? >^_^<

So, until next chapter, go join the LE;AH message forum and the LE;AH mailing list. They had the chapter about a week ago.

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Until next update, hope to see you on the boards (or the group, which is kinda dead, but the boards are always going!)

~Bethany
9.11.06