Lily Evans: A History

Lily Evans; A History

Chapter 53 – Truths Revealed

By: Bethany

Rated: PG

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There was a deafening silence in the room. The kind that would make a normal person want to swallow, but couldn't for fear the noise would be so loud, the entire room might turn their attention to them. Remus' face suddenly lost all the angry intensity that it had held moments before and he seemed to deflate before their eyes.

Madison's hand was still clutching the door knob so hard that it creaked under the pressure. Finally the silence in the room was broken by Peter shifting slowly towards the door. "Something tells me I shouldn't be here," he muttered apologetically. He pushed himself through the opening between Madison and the door frame, having to pull his stomach in to keep from knocking into the blonde witch. James slowly rose off his bed, put down his book and followed Peter without so much as a word.

Remus felt as though they had just left him to face a dementor. Every bad feeling, every fear he had ever imagined when he thought of telling Madison the truth suddenly came rushing back. Was she going to be as understanding as Alexis? Alexis had found out on her own, not walked in on a conversation. The werewolf didn't have to be told this was bad; he was acutely aware of it as his senses picked up Madison's labored breathing.

"Er, we should probably talk about this."

Madison swallowed. "A little late, don't you think?"

Remus looked her square in the eyes. "I hope not."

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It was Lily's misfortune that Kassie did not forget the angry rant that she had been engaged on before Madison left the room. The door to the sixth year girls’ room had barely closed when Kassie resumed pacing the floor and muttering angrily. She pointed her wand at the piece of parchment that was the letter from Sirius and it burst into a violet flames. Lily started to point out that Kassie had just done wordless magic, but decided that the moment wasn't right; Kassie didn't seem to notice or care.

Lily tried to imagine what had been going through Sirius' head when he told Snape about Remus. What had he said? Lily couldn't imagine he would simply go up to Snape and say "Hey, did you know Remus is a werewolf?" No, knowing Sirius, he had probably just told him to go into the tunnel, never hinting as to what lay waiting for him at the other end. The red-head felt a shiver run up her spine; facing a fully-fledged werewolf? She couldn't imagine.

"Ohh! I could just blast him into next year for this!" Kassie blurted, stomping her foot angrily.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Come on Kassie, you killed a person, didn't you?"

Across the room Kassie turned red, her eyes looking dark and haunted. "This is different. I thought I was saving mine and Sirius' life. It was kill or be killed. I did what I had to do."

Lily immediately wished she hasn't said anything. She could completely understand Kassie's anger, but had only meant to make her see another point of view. "Maybe Sirius just did what he felt he had to do," Lily said softly.

"There are alternatives!"

Lily agreed, but dropped the subject as the door slammed open and Kathleen and Gabrielle came in.

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A small field mouse kicked up dust as it scurried across the room, disappearing into a crack in the wall. All around the room, broken furniture littered the floor, telling a tale both of strength and of pain. Madison shuddered, rubbing her arms to try and relieve the chills that ran up and down her spine. Remus stood in the centre of the room, arms outstretched. "This is where I go every full moon. The stories that this house is haunted are rumours fueled by Dumbledore to keep people away." Remus' arms fell, a darkly humorous tone creeping into his voice. "This is my own personal hell."

Madison choked on a sob. "Why didn't you tell me?" she whispered, afraid that the walls may tell her horror stories of full moons past if she spoke louder.

"Because of the look you are giving me right now," Remus replied gravely, but gently. "Because of the pity I see forming. I don't want you to feel sorry for me. This place," he indicated the house, "is one night a month. The rest of the time I'm happy. I have friends and... you. Or, I hope I still do."

Madison rubbed her eyes. Standing before her was Remus. The same Remus she had loved yesterday and the day before and for countless days before that. The same sandy blonde hair still fell over and into his eyes. The same playful glint would still light up his face. She just knew something else about him now. Something she honestly thought she could live with.

Remus was taking the long silence as a bad sign. He'd seen so many emotions play across the faces of people in his life as they found out what he was. It had never ended well. He didn't expect it to now. Ever so slowly, head hanging, the playful glint hidden in pain, he walked past Madison. "Come on, I'll take you back up to the castle."

Madison caught his hand as he tried to slip pass her. He turned, looking at her questioningly, trying to hide the small spark of hope that filtered into his soul. "Remus, I can't stop loving you over something you can't help." She stepped closer to him. "And I won't lose you over it. Just promise me one thing?"

Tears threatened to fill Remus' eyes, but he kept them at bay. "Anything."

"Don't keep secrets from me anymore."

The werewolf nodded, struck dumb by the witch in front of him as she slowly encircled her arms around his neck. "I love you, Remus."

"Not as much as I love you."

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The weeks after "the incident", as Kassie was referring to it, seemed to stretch on forever. Life without the constant pranks and Marauder bickering was boring and passed excessively slowly. But at the beginning of December when Sirius came back to school, Lily looked upon the time without him as the calm before a storm. His first night back, there was such a huge fight in the sixth year boys’ dorm that the general racket was heard in the common room. Angry shouts were muffled just enough by the stone walls and wooden doors so that words couldn't be understood. The one thing that was understood completely was that the Marauders were not on speaking terms.

Remus' anger was understandable. After all, it was his secret that had been exposed - and to Snape of all low lives. But for the life of him, Sirius couldn't understand James' refusal to talk to him. After all, Sirius had done nothing to James. If anything, he, James, should be neutrual in this spat, according to Sirius. But as it was, Peter was the only one on both sides of the fence, outside of the witches in their year.

"Just go and ask him," Sirius urged, nudging Kassie to the edge of her seat.

A black pony tail hit him on the side of the head as Kassie shook her head. "No. You can do your own dirty work, Mr. Black. I'm going to have my dessert."

Sirius grumbled, moaned, and in the end, gave up. Lily rolled her eyes and took a drink of her pumpkin juice. "I wish I knew what they were fighting about," Will said aloud, looking back at Lily from where he had been watching Kassie and Sirius. Lily pretended not to know, shrugging her shoulders as if the matter wasn't a major concern for her.

But the fact was she thought about that night often. What would have happened if she hadn't wandered out and seen Snape going into the tree? And what did James do to stop him? Nearly every time she closed her eyes she could see James running from her and towards the moving tree. She could see his outline as he ran faster and faster, almost as fast as the wind. Like a creature - like a stag.

Was James an animagi? Sometimes Lily thought she must have been seeing things; that her eyes had been playing tricks in her panic. She glanced over at him, laughing stupidly at something he was reading in a magazine. Even she had to admit that a lot of the pranks they pulled did require advanced magic. But animagi? It took even the most highly trained and talented wizards years to master that. Professor McGonagall was one of only a handful in their century to even accomplish it. Surely a schoolboy couldn't have.

And yet, James was one of their brightest in their year. He had conjured on his first attempt, something Lily still found difficult. Lily shook her head. Maybe. Just maybe.

"And there’s the bell signalling the start of yet another day of torture," Kassie announced, getting up from her seat. "Though I do have to admit that having mornings off suits me."

Lily rolled her eyes. "All you do is sleep."

"Exactly!" Kassie replied matter of factly. "All in the name of beauty."

"And Merlin does it work!" Sirius said, coming up behind Kassie and grabbing her around the waist. "You are the most beautiful witch I've ever seen. Your beauty dazzles me. I'm blinded!" he carried on, closing his eyes and promptly walking straight into a wall.

"Idiot," Lily muttered, laughing with Kassie.

Sirius dragged himself up between the best friends. "Hey Lily, my dearest friend, would you-"

"No."

Sirius blinked dumbly. "You don't even know what I was going to ask."

"No, I'm not talking to James or Remus for you," Lily replied sternly. "You got yourself into this mess, now you can get yourself out."

"Ouch," Peter said, coming up on the other side of Kassie. "Suppose she told you."

"Shut up, Wormtail," Sirius grumbled.

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The Christmas holidays were fast approaching and still the Marauders were not speaking. It looked like the end of a great era in Lily's life and she was almost willing to talk to James on Sirius’ behalf just to try and patch up the holes in their relationship. After all, she could understand being angry, but wasn't forgiveness a major part of friendship?

James and Sirius were like brothers, they couldn't just not speak ever again. It was easy to see that Sirius was sorry, and Lily was going to tell James and Remus as much when she walked in on Kassie saying the exact same thing.

"And another thing," Kassie continued, ignoring that Lily had just entered the sixth year boys’ room. Remus and James both shot her a glance and Lily couldn't help but notice that tonight's upcoming full moon was taking its toll on Remus. "Haven't you ever done anything stupid that has made Sirius angry?"

James looked flabbergasted. "Kassie, I don't want to talk to you about this. Sirius hasn't just done something stupid. He put mine and Lily's lives in danger, not to mention exposed Remus to Snape. Is that what a friend does? No," James answered before Kassie could, "it's not."

Kassie opened her mouth like she was going to say something, snapped it shut and stalked out of the room, dragging Lily with her as she went.

James caught Lily's eye and for the brief moment the disappointment he saw there almost made him call out for them to stop. But instead the door shut behind them and James threw himself back on his bed. "Remus, it's going to be a long night."

"Tell me about it."

That night, after making sure Madam Pomfrey was inside the castle, James and Peter threw the invisibility cloak over themselves and headed out towards the Whomping Willow. With just two days left until they went home for Christmas, James had nearly packed it when he remembered the full moon. He didn't suppose he'd be needing it again without Sirius to help him with pre-holiday pranks.

"Ok, hit the knot," James told Peter, who quickly transformed into a rat and scurried out from under the cloak.

The tree stopped moving and James entered it. Inside the tunnel he removed the cloak and followed Peter's scurried movements further and further from the Hogwart's grounds. Before they reached the trap door into the shrieking shack, James heard frantic scrapping and deep growls. "What the hell?" he exclaimed, transforming into his stag counterpart and running into the house as quickly as he could. Once inside, James found something that was far from what he had expected.

Remus had already transformed into a werewolf and it seemed his rage and hurt from Sirius' betrayal had been amplified times ten in this state. And across the room from the howling werewolf was a giant black dog that James would recognise anywhere.

The werewolf lashed out at the dog and to James' surprise and amazement, the dog did nothing. Was Sirius crazy? He could get killed! James moved forward to intervene, but Sirius growled at him as if to say "Stay back!" Against his better judgment, James stayed put and watched while for several minutes the werewolf attacked Sirius. Then, just when James was once again about to step between the two canines, Sirius began fighting back. The two wrestled around for what seemed like ages, claws and fangs clashing. What furniture remained was quickly reduced to firewood, and another large hole was made in the wall between the living room and the hall.

When the fighting was finally over, dog and werewolf lay at opposite ends of the room, panting and exhausted. James reared his head as if to tell them both they were prats and lay down between the two of them, in the middle of the room, just in case they decided to have another go later in the night.

The next morning, the sun woke James by forcing its way through the new cracks in the wall from what was, at best, a restless sleep. He slowly got up, changing back to his human form as he did so. Across the room, sitting on what was left of a beaten and dust filled chair, Remus looked worn, but okay. "How is it fair that you get to keep your clothes when you change and I don't?" Remus asked, mostly with dry humor.

James shrugged, stretching and then started at a peculiar noise emanating from the far corner of the room. He threw a confused glance towards the noise. "What was that?"

Remus sniggered. "Sirius."

James walked around the pile of wood that had once been a sofa to find Padfoot laying on his back, paws up in the air and twitching, snoring every now and again. A decidedly evil look came over James' face. He pulled his wand, flicked it at the dog and suddenly Sirius reverted to his human shape and went crawling across the floor, howling. "OW! Damn! What did you do that for!"

James stretched again, and drawled, "I don't know about you, Mooney, but I feel better."

Remus laughed, making Sirius stop cursing for a moment. "Yep! Masses."

"Erm, guys, we have to leave," Peter interrupted.

James walked over and helped Sirius off the floor. "Let's go. We'll see you later on at the castle."

The three boys returned to the Gryffindor common room to find Madison waiting for them. She looked back and forth between them questioningly. "I'm not going to ask," she began, raising an eyebrow at the dust and spider webs that covered Sirius, "what happened to you. But I do want to know..."

"He's fine," James said before she could ask. Footsteps behind them spoke of unwanted company. "We're off. See you at breakfast."

Madison watched the boys continue up stairs before running up to the girls’ sixth year dorms. "They're friends again!" she announced happily, flinging the door open.

"Finally!" Lily muttered, falling back on her bed.

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The last day of classes before the Christmas holiday seem to drag on forever. When the final bell of the day rang, everyone happily ran back to their rooms, eager to pack and talk to their friends about the forthcoming weeks.

Now that the Marauders were back in action, they made up for lost time by pulling as many pranks as possible in a twenty-four hour period. This meant that no-one was safe, including the Professors.

The show began at dinner with the decorated trees lining the Great Hall coming to life and grabbing the students’ hats if they were unfortunate enough to try pass close by. This of course affected the Slytherins and Gryffindors most of all as their tables were closest to the sides of the Hall. The only way to get them back, according to the tree, was to sing "Merry Christmas" to the person next to you, holding your tongue with your index finger and thumb.

Lily passed Kacy attempting to do this when she ventured too close to a tree and her own hat was taken. Kassie was watching her sister and holding her hand over her mouth, trying not to laugh. "You can keep it!" Kacy said, stomping off. Behind her, Kassie finally gave up and burst into laughter.

"That's no fun!" Sirius laughed. Ahead of them the tree closest to the staff table had just grabbed Dumbledore's hat. "Uh oh," he muttered, trying to hide behind Kassie.

Professor Dumbledore listened to the tree's request and then looked as though he was thinking carefully. Half the Great Hall was watching to see how much trouble the Marauders were going to get into this time. Finally the silver-haired wizard turned to Professor McGonagall. "Merry Christmas!" he said in a sing-song voice, then stuck his tongue out, grabbing it with his thumb and forefinger. He let go, then thanked the tree for the return of his hat.

Sirius' gleeful look returned ten-fold. "He got it!"

The other students, who had been trying to sing "Merry Christmas" while holding their tongues followed the Headmaster's lead. James came running in the Great Hall, laughing. "Who got it?"

"Dumbledore," Will said, shaking his head.

James' smile faltered, then lit up even more. "Brilliant!"

Some of the older students didn't look as amused, nor did some of the Professors. But as this didn't cause Dumbledore to say anything, the Marauders weren't worried.

They then proceeded to eat their dinner in relative peace, which should have been a warning right away. But instead of worrying about what might be going on, Lily enjoyed the fact that the Marauders were speaking and that everyone was in great pre-holiday spirits.

As the students started to exit the Great Hall, hair and eyebrows turned red and green as they passed through the door.

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"Get in the castle now!"

Lily could clearly see James turning from her, running towards the Whomping Willow. The dark mist of twilight was caving in around her, threatening to swallow her.

"Harry!"

Lily spun around, looking for the source of the voice. Behind her she found a brown haired girl with thick curly hair running across the castle lawn. "Ron!" she yelled this time. Ahead of the girl a messy haired boy and another boy with red hair was chasing something through the tall grass.

Then, out of nowhere a large black dog jumped on the red-head. The painful sounding crack of a broken bone filled the air and all went black.

Just when Lily thought it was over, the mist cleared again, this time projecting a large round moon shining brightly. The clouds moved over it, leaving shadows playing across the grounds. Out of the Whomping Willow crawled a large orange cat, followed by three figures that seemed to be tied together. Moments later three more people emerged, another floating in mid-air before them. Lily struggled to see who the people were, but it was too dark.

The group moved forward toward where Lily stood. Suddenly a cloud shifted and moonlight bathed the grounds. Almost as if on cue, the group stopped. Lily could see one of them started to shake vigorously.

"Oh my! He didn't take his potion tonight! He's not safe!" a girl's voice rang out.

There was frantic moving about, then, "Leave it to me - RUN!"

There was a horrible snarling noise. Lily felt panic eating at her insides, she began to shake. Suddenly one of the dark figures disappeared and a large black dog took its place.

The werewolf and the dog fought, claws flashing in the moonlight. There was a scream and Lily fell backwards.

Panting, fighting to get the blankets off, Lily sat up in her bed, sweat trickling in her eyes. She pushed a strain of sweaty red-hair out of her face and with the other hand pulled back the bed hangings. The sun hadn't broken over the horizon yet, so the purple sky wasn't giving much light to the room. Lily finally calmed her breathing and sat with her legs hanging off the side of the bed, thinking. Finally making up her mind, she got off the bed, pulled on a robe and quietly left the room.

The small light emitting from Lily's wand shed just enough light so she was able to move quickly up the stairs and into the sixth year boys’ dorm.

If she hadn't been in here before, Lily may not have made the decision to come. After all, the last thing she wanted to do was wake up who she thought was James, only to find out it was someone else. Instead she confidently strode over to James' bed and pulled back the curtains. "James."

Nothing. No movement, not a sigh. This time Lily decided to shake him, but before she got the chance, someone grabbed her arm. "Looking for me?"

Lily let out a squeak and trying to turn around, fell onto the bed. She turned over on her back to find James standing above her in nothing but his pajama pants. "W-what are you doing?"

James chuckled, holding his hand out. "I could ask you the same thing." He pulled her up, their faces inches apart. His breath was warm on her face and their eyes locked. "So, er, what are you doing?"

Lily had all but lost her dignity, as well as her train of thought. She swallowed. "Looking for you?"

"Really?" James breathed. "And to what do I owe this late night visit?"

"What?" Lily racked her brain. "Oh. Oh! Yes, I wanted to speak with you."

James grinned again and Lily felt her knees grow weak. "So talk away."

"In private."

"Ah," James said knowingly. He reached over and grabbed a t-shirt, pulling it over his head. "Follow me."

Lily found herself going up the boys’ staircase once more, only this time all the way up. When they reached the attic, James waved his wand around the room to make sure they were alone, and then shut the door. "Better?"

Lily played with a piece of her hair as she nodded, acutely aware of how close he was watching her every move. "Em, I don't really know how to begin..."

"I hardly believe you came to my room at six o'clock in the morning without a plan," James replied.

"Right," Lily muttered. She took a deep breath, letting go of the strain of hair. "I thought I saw, I mean to say, well..." Her voice wanted to fail, but finally she managed. "Are you an animagi?"

For several long seconds Lily was nearly sure James was going to laugh at her. But then he took a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair. "How'd you find out?"

Lily blinked, wondering if she had heard him correctly. Then, realizing he was waiting for an answer, she said, "The night Snape... Well, I watched you go into the tree." She bit her nail nervously. "I won't tell anyone. I was just thinking I had imagined it, or gone mad."

James leaned against the wall, waving his wand around, causing the light to swirl about. "I am an animagus. I have been for nearly a year, I think."

"What do you become?"

"A stag," James replied, shrugging as if it wasn't such a big deal and he wasn't an underage wizard at all. "Big enough to keep a werewolf in check."

Lily nodded, understanding dawning on her. "Is that why you did it, then? For Remus?"

"Yes."

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The conversation Lily had with James that morning kept repeating in her mind as she packed her clothes to go home. If Kassie noticed her best friend’s preoccupation, she didn't mention it. Then again, Kassie seemed to have enough of her own to think about.

"I'd stay here if it wasn't for Kacy," Kassie told Lily for the umpteenth time as they levitated their trunks to the common room for the house elves to take to the train. Lily had nearly tuned her out by this point. "I wish I could just stay with Sirius. But obviously that won't work, because then I wouldn't be there to save Kacy from Aunt Wanda's badgering."

Lily nodded as if to agree, but really wasn't paying all that much attention. Sirius came running down the stairs and jumped behind the sofa. Kassie stopped in mid-rant. "What is he doing?"

"SIRIUS BLACK!" Nick came running down the stairs, wand pulled and looking evil. Behind him James was laughing hysterically. "Give it back!"

"No way!" Sirius bellowed, dodging a summoning charm. He stood up, waving a magazine around. "I haven't seen this issue yet!"

"What has he got?" Lily wondered aloud.

Next to her Will had just put his trunk down and was trying to get a glimpse. "Looks like, erm, Playhouse Witch. Perhaps?"

"What?" Lily and Kassie asked at the same time. Only Kassie's voice was in shock and Lily's in confusion.

"Sirius, give that back," Kassie insisted, hands on her hips.

Lily felt utterly bewildered. "What is it?"

Will looked at her in shock for a minute, then caught himself. "Sorry. I forget sometimes that you didn't grow up in the wizarding world. It's a - well, like a Play Boy magazine, I think is what Muggles call it."

Lily suddenly understood a little too well. "Oh."

Nick finally got a summoning charm through and the magazine went flying through the air. Kassie smacked Sirius hard on the arm and, action finished, everyone went back to packing.

"Ladies, I have an invitation for you both from my parents," James announced, coming into the room and holding out two crisp white envelopes to Kassie and Lily. "It's time for my parents to host the yearly Aurors’ Christmas Ball. You may bring a date - and Kassie, I personally think you should find someone a little better behaved than..."

"Oy! I'll have you know that she already has a well behaved date!" Sirius cried indignantly.

"Does she, Padfoot?" Remus cut in. "All ready to go Madison?"

"I think so," the blonde witch said, taking Remus' hand.

"Then let's get this show on the road." Remus and Madison left the common room, Lily, Will, Kassie, Kacy and the Marauders following. Everyone was laughing and joking ahead of her and Lily couldn't help but smile.

But as she glanced back into the Gryffindor common room once more, a feeling of dread pulled at her heart. Pushing it aside, she took Will's hand, not knowing that when she returned to this room, she would forever be changed.

--End Chapter 53.