Lily Evans: A History

Chapter 43 - Of lies and realisations
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As time tends to do, it moved on even after Alexis Wells was gone. And as it moved, the raw pain that the five remaining Gryffindor girls felt eased to a slight throb, instead of a painful stab. Professor McGonagall removed the extra bed in the fifth year girls dormitories and Alexis' belongings were sent to her remaining next of kin. The room changed sized to accommodate the extra space so that it looked much like it had in Lily's first year, before Kassie came to Hogwarts.

As predicted, Bellatrix and her friends had a lot to say about Alexis' death. And also as predicted, the Gryffindors got involved in many an argument with them over it. Lily and Remus had their hands full keeping Sirius, James, Peter and Kassie from choking Bellatrix and Snape. And then there were times that Lily had her hands full keeping Remus from having his Prefect's badge taken. He had cursed a few Slytherins, himself.

The Death Eaters’ attack on the Wells family had hit home with the students of Hogwarts. Defence Against the Dark Arts had taken on a new popularity. Students studied it harder than the other subjects, determined to learn to defend themselves and their families. It suddenly wasn't so far fetched that a Death Eater could attack a student. In fact, it was a fact that the ruthless, evil wizards who followed Voldemort had not a care if the person they killed was an adult or a child. And this revelation scared the students badly. And with good reason. By mid-January the school had decided to take action. Notices announcing the inauguration of a duelling club appeared on the bulletin boards of every house and nearly every student signed up.

Homework became nearly unbearable for the fifth years. Almost every night Lily found that no matter how hard she worked on her studies, the pile kept growing. All of the Prefects had been assigned, along with the Head Boy and Head Girl, duties to patrol the corridors until ten o'clock. This left very little time for Lily to finish her homework. But, if it felt like she had a lot, it was nothing compared to James and Sirius who, on top of the duelling club on Tuesday nights, had Quidditch practice three nights a week. Kassie, Kathleen, Gabrielle and Madison were the only ones who stayed almost on top of their work. Peter was falling miserably behind, causing the rest of them to slow their already slow progress to help him.

The nightly patrols of the castle made for very long nights. Two or three times Lily had sent James and Sirius back to Gryffindor tower. Or so she hoped. She had a sneaking suspicion the boys wouldn't have been caught if they didn't want to be.

Very slowly Remus went back to the cheerful person he had been before Christmas. It was sad in a way, to see him moving on. The 'what ifs' and 'maybes' always seemed to haunt their night time discussions as they walked the corridors in search of students who were out of bed past curfew. Lily had a feeling she was the only one Remus shared these feelings with, but she didn't mind. It was understandable that he needed someone to simply listen. James, Sirius and Peter, though they meant well, only tried to cheer him up by suggesting pranks to play.

Tonight Lily patrolled the corridors alone. It was the first full moon since Christmas holidays. Remus was safely hidden in the Shrieking Shack and was most likely already in his werewolf form by the light of the moon. Lily had just turned towards the side doors that led to the greenhouses when she heard a noise. Jumping, she spun around and held her lit wand higher. "Who's there?"

No answer. For a second Lily thought it might be James under his invisibility cloak trying to scare her. She reached forward stupidly and then spotted a grey rat on the floor. She jumped back, holding her wand out. "Shoo!" she hissed, preparing to throw a jinx at the creature. Rats were high on the list of animals Lily didn't care for in the least. "Scram! Go on, go, before I call Mrs. Norris!" The rat looked like it understood her. Quickly it scampered off into the shadows. Lily watched it go, holding her wand up high to spread the light as far as possible so she could be sure the rat had gone, and continued on her patrol towards the Great Hall.

Next to the doors, under an invisibility cloak, someone let out a deep sigh of relief. "That was close," James muttered. Next to him Sirius nodded.

Once he was sure that Lily had gone from earshot, James eased the door open and he and Sirius slid through. Ahead of them the rat that had scared Lily in the corridor scurried through the snow and towards the trunk of the Whomping Willow. James and Sirius followed.

The swinging branches of the tree suddenly fell still. Sirius and James slid through an opening at the roots. Once at the bottom they took off the cloak and headed through the tunnel. When they arrived at the door to the Shrieking Shack there was a loud crash, followed by a howl of pain that greeted them. "I was afraid of this," Sirius said, turning back into his human counter part now that they were through the narrow tunnel.

"His emotions always play a role in his transforming," James agreed, flinching as the wolf inside whimpered in pain then again in anger. James pushed his hand through his hair. "Well, we'd better go. Be careful."

"You, too," Sirius replied and transformed back into a dog. He waited patiently for James. The latter threw the door open, let Sirius and Peter in, then changed into his stag form.

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Sirius moaned as he turned over, though to anyone listening it would have sounded like the whimper of a dog. Remus was lying on the floor beside him and when Sirius finally remembered why he hurt all over, he transformed quickly back into his human form and stood up.

Remus looked terrible. There was no other way of putting it. There were so many bruises, scratches and blood covering his exposed skin it was hard to tell where one began and the next ended. Sirius could tell nothing was life threatening. Most of the cuts were not deep and the blood had clogged on its own so that most of the blood was dried. Besides, Madam Pomfrey would be along any second to collect him. "Oy, Prongs, we should get going," Sirius muttered, feeling his bones ache as he stretched. "Merlin, how am I going to explain this to Kassie?" he mussed aloud, looking himself over and finding multiple scratches and marks over his own body. He walked around the bed and found a rat lying on a tattered blanket. Otherwise the room was empty. "Pete." Sirius shook the rat a little. "Where’s James?"

"Is he not here?" Peter replied, back in his human form and stretching. Of the three of them he looked the most unhurt, probably because he was so small when he transformed that he easily stayed out of the way when the fighting had been going on.

"I thought he was behind you?" Sirius asked dumbly. Peter's eyes grew wide and he shook his head. "Damn it!"

At once both boys transformed back to their animagi counter parts and bolted out of the Shrieking Shack. Sirius searched for several minutes before he finally found James' scent.

Last night had been the worst full moon the trio had ever spent with Remus. Obviously Remus' pain over Alexis affected his wolf form. The fights had been terrible. They hadn't strayed far from the Shrieking Shack before realising that it wasn't safe. Not that it ever was truly safe to have a werewolf out, but Remus had been worse than normal. They hadn't gone far before turning back, so Sirius knew James couldn't be far.

"James!" Peter called, having turned back to himself. "Sirius, he's close. Do you smell it?"

Sirius growled in response. He knew what Peter was talking about. There was a distinct smell that they only caught in their animals forms. The smell of blood. He sped up, leaving Peter behind as he took off. The smell was so strong that he could practically taste it. Suddenly Sirius stopped dead, perking his ears up. Yes, just over there he could hear....

With a faint pop Sirius was human again. He ran over to a line of bushes and found James lying on his stomach. "Damn it, Wormtail, get over here and help me!" Sirius called, panic lining his voice. "James! C'mon mate, wake up."

"Just a minute more..." James muttered. His lips were blue. Sirius shook him again, but James didn’t open his eyes a second time.

Peter stood to the side, unsure if there was anything he could do. Sirius looked around him, as if searching for an easy answer. When none came he took his wand out and pointed it at James. "Mobilicorpus!" James' body rose up into the air and Sirius steered it towards the castle. "How are we not going to be seen?" he asked, more to himself than to Peter, who looked like any second he would become hysterical. Suddenly it came to him. "Pete! Get the invisibility cloak. Hurry!"

Peter disappeared and Sirius could see the rat running through the snow and into the hole at the base of the Whomping Willow. Sirius stared up to the castle again when James opened his eyes.

Sirius lowered his wand and James' body touched the ground and then fell. Sirius barely caught him and lowered him to the ground. James' eyes blinked several times and his lip trembled. "C-C-C-o-ld," he gasped, his lips and jaw jerking so badly it was hard for Sirius to understand.

Sirius cursed himself silently, racking his brain for a spell that might help. He knew that a warming charm was too much; it might put James' body into shock. Finally Peter returned with the invisibility cloak. "Remus is gone, I guess Madam Pomfrey came for him."

Sirius didn't reply. He conjured a stretcher, put James on it and covered him with the cloak. As they hurried towards the castle, Sirius muttered to himself over and over again; "How do I explain this? How? Damn it, why didn't I know he wasn't with us?"

They practically ran down the halls of Hogwarts, not caring how much noise they made. When they reached the hospital wing Madam Pomfrey looked like she might faint. "Get him on the bed, quickly! What happened?!"

Sirius guided James onto a bed and watched as Madam Pomfrey waved her wands towards a stack of blankets that flew across the room and piled onto James. "I-eh-well..." Sirius muttered. "He was outside. Maybe all night."

The matron looked up, pursed her lips together and narrowed her eyes. Sirius looked very upset and Peter was beside himself. "Is he going to be all right?" Peter muttered, sounding close to tears.

"Yes," Madam Pomfrey replied, turning her glare from the two boys. "Get out of the way," she commanded, coming over to the side of the bed Sirius was on. She flicked her wand at a cabinet, the door flung open and a vial came flying to her. She caught it and lifted James' head up, pouring it down his throat. Instantly steam began pouring out of his ears.

"Sirius!" a voice near the other end of the hall hissed. Sirius glanced down and saw Remus motioning for him to come near. He hesitated, watching James' lips turn from blue to red before edging towards Remus. "What happened?" Remus demanded in a whisper.

"He was on the out skirts of the woods," Sirius said in a helpless way, still watching Pomfrey fuss over his best friend. "I swear I didn't know he wasn't behind us." Remus' eyes took on a dark look and he opened his mouth, but Sirius cut him off. "Don't, Moony," Sirius demanded. "So help me, if you start blaming yourself for this, I'll curse you into the middle of next week."

Remus looked like if he had had the strength, he would have argued. Instead he settled for glaring at Sirius. Madam Pomfrey, satisfied with James' condition, bustled over to Sirius. "Come here, let me clean you up."

"I'm fine," Sirius muttered, waving her off.

"Sit," she commanded, leaving no room for argument. Sirius sighed heavily, muttered under his breath, but did as he was told. Several minutes and wand waving later, Sirius had no more cuts and bruises. Pomfrey left him to tend to Peter, who had no injuries that Sirius could see, and Sirius rejoined Remus.

The werewolf was staring at the ceiling and when Sirius approached. When Sirius took a seat beside his bed, Remus turned his head to look at him. "Padfoot, you've got to promise me something."

Sirius didn't like the tone of voice Remus was using. It was the kind that usually meant Sirius was about to hear something he didn't want to. He wasn't mistaken. "You can't tell anyone about this."

Sirius' eyebrows furrowed together. "About what?"

"Any of this," Remus replied, looking up at the ceiling again. "Lily and Kassie, if not all of the girls, are going to ask a million questions about what happened to James. Please don't tell anyone, even Kassie, about what we do." He took a deep breath, plunging on before Sirius could say anything. "I know you trust Kassie, but the more people that know, the more chance we'll get caught. And if you all go to Azkaban..."

"Moony, you are such a worry wart," Sirius inserted. "I don't think Kassie or Lily would say anything."

"But if they talked just about it, and someone over heard… I just don't want to take that chance. There is more than detention at stake if you are found out. We're damn lucky Poppy doesn't ask questions." He turned his grey and hazel eyes to Sirius in a pleading fashion. "Promise me you won't tell a soul."

Sirius wished James was here, so that maybe he could talk Remus out of this. But one glance at James' bed said that was out of the question. Sirius looked back at Remus and the werewolf was still staring at him. Sirius sighed. "Ok."

"Padfoot..."

"I promise!" Sirius hissed. In the back of his mind a thousand questions were running around. First and foremost, what was he going to tell Kassie about where he had been? Followed shortly by what was he going to tell Lily had happened to James? For a split second the black haired Marauder wished he was laying unconscious on a bed so that someone else could make up excuses. Granted, that would leave Peter to make them and all of them would be in a world of trouble.

"Mr. Black!"

Sirius turned slowly around to face the matron and smiled sheepishly. "Get out?"

"Indeed," Madam Pomfrey stated, pointing towards the door. "These boys need rest. I suspect Mr. Potter won't be awake for quite some time. And you and Mr. Pettigrew have classes to attend. Shoo! Go on!"

Sirius started out the door, turned around and raised his hand. "It's Sunday."

"Out!"

"Ok, ok. I'm going. No need to be so pushy," Sirius muttered, grabbing Peter by his collar and dragging him along. They made it to the bottom of the first set of stairs when Sirius stopped, let go of Peter and ran both his hands through his hair. "BLOODY HELL!"

Peter jumped. "What?" he squeaked.

Sirius began pacing in the small landing, glaring at the portraits that were looking at him curiously as he cursed under his breath. Peter watched him, perplexed and apprehensive, waiting for whatever would happen next. Finally Sirius stopped, taking a deep breath. "Remus just made me -- all of us, even though you weren't there -- promise not to tell anyone about us."

"Well, that's the general idea anyway, isn't it?" Peter questioned.

Sirius glared at him. "Kassie? Lily? What do I tell them? And Kassie, especially. I don't want to lie to her."

Peter sighed, crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. "I don't know what to say, Padfoot," he said a moment later. Sirius began pacing again. "But I can see what Remus means. I don't think the girls would say anything; but if they let it slip, we'd all go to Azkaban."

"I know that," Sirius replied. "Why did this have to happen? If I had checked to make sure James was with us, then he wouldn't be hurt and I wouldn't have to make up bloody excuses for this entire bloody mess!"

Peter said nothing. He watched as Sirius continued to curse and pace for several minutes, his hands in his pockets and his eyes following his friend. Finally Sirius stopped, staring down the staircase. Peter moved so he was standing beside him. "Well, here's an idea," the shorter wizard said quietly, glancing around at different paintings as he spoke, "Pomfrey mended us well enough. So really it's only James we need an excuse for. Remus they know about. Tell them that he's sick, or something. Has the flu, a cold, anything."

"That's a lie, Wormtail," Sirius muttered blankly. "I'd be lying to Kassie. Again."

Peter nodded his head in understanding. "It's either lie to her, or break your promise to Remus."

Sirius stuffed his hands in his pockets, looked at Peter for a second then started down the stairs. "I hate this."

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Lily stared at her pile of homework, then looked out the window. Outside on the grounds the voices of students laughing as they had a snow ball fight drifted to her ears. But when her gaze returned to the stack of unfinished work, she remembered why she wasn't down there with them. Sighing, she dipped her quill in her ink and began writing again. At a table beside her, Will Roberts, the only other person in the common room, was also doing homework. He looked up and smiled at her, but said nothing. Lily smiled back and went back to work. Only the sound of her quill scratching against parchment, and Will's occasional flip of a book page, broke the silence in the room until the portrait hole came open. Lily looked up, expecting to see someone coming back from downstairs. The last person she expected to see was Sirius. Confused, Lily put her quill down. "I thought you were still in bed."

Sirius stopped, looking at Lily strangely. Finally he seemed to snap out of his daze and he approached her. "No, we've been up for a while."

"A long while," Peter inserted. Lily hadn't even noticed him standing behind Sirius. "James is sick."

"Sick?" Lily repeated, her heart skipping a beat. "Is he very sick? What's wrong with him? Is he in the infirmary? What did Madam Pomfrey say?"

Peter opened his mouth to reply, but Sirius cut him off. Despite the look of pure exhaustion on his face, his left eyebrow quirked up. "Terribly curious, aren't you?"

Lily felt her face blush hot red. Quickly she began stowing her books away, avoiding Sirius' gaze. "I'm just... Well, he's a good friend, I'd like to think. I'd be just as worried if it was you, Remus, Peter, Kassie... anyone else."

Sirius' eyes twinkled merrily. "I'm sure you would."

Peter coughed behind his hand, but it sounded suspiciously like a laugh. Lily glared at him. "Are you going to tell me, or not?"

"Poppy says he'll be just fine," Sirius answered truthfully. He looked around the room, at the clock on the fireplace mantel, then back at Lily. "Kassie still asleep?"

"I think so." Lily replied. She stood up. "I'm heading in that direction, do you want me to send her down?"

"No," Sirius said without thinking. His eyes were dark and he refused to meet Lily's gaze. She watched him with obvious curiosity. "I'm dead tired. I think I'm going to go back to bed."

"Me, too," Peter added, following Sirius. Lily watched them go, shrugged to herself and went up the girls' staircase to her room. Kassie's legs were hanging off the side of the bed, barely visible through the curtains. Lily rolled her eyes, left her book bag on her trunk and went back downstairs to go and see James.

When she arrived, ten minutes later, in the infirmary, it was to find James and Remus both asleep. Madam Pomfrey scowled at her as she came in, but said nothing. Lily sat down next to James' bed. He certainly looked sick. His cheeks were flushed red as though he was running a temperature and he coughed violently several times while she was there. His glasses were lying on the bedside table and without them he looked younger somehow, and more vulnerable. Lily removed the cloth from his head, dipped it in water and turned to replace it when she found herself staring at James. Without his glasses, and his hair falling over his forehead, he reminded her of someone. Confused, Lily tilted her head, squinting her eyes as she stared at him. His face was relaxed and his black hair fell over his forehead in the same unruly fashion as someone else she had seen...

Then, suddenly, to Lily's amazement, she figured it out. The baby, in her visions, the one with her eyes bore an uncanny resemblance to James Potter. Lily dropped the rag in her hands, but didn't notice as she leaned forward to look at James' face. If she closed her eyes she could still see the baby; bright green eyes but with a tuff of black fringe that fell over his small head in much the same way.

Lily gasped and quickly slapped her hand over her mouth to keep from drawing attention from Madam Pomfrey. There was no mistake, the baby in her visions had to be a relative of James'. Maybe even his son! But... but that would mean...

Lily fell back in the seat next to James' bed, her mind spinning so fast that she felt light headed. She found that her gaze had unconsciously gone back to James. There was no denying that the baby she had been having visions about for years looked exactly like James. A combination of herself and him. Did that mean they would have a son together someday?

Just as quickly as this thought occurred to Lily, she dismissed it. How thick was she, anyway? Surely these dreams were not visions. Lily's feelings for James had entered her subconscious and was playing tricks on her. That would explain the baby. It wouldn't explain the man or the stag. But the baby, it would explain. Lily blushed, feeling foolish. She was extremely happy that James was asleep, she didn't know if she could face him after figuring out that she had been having those kinds of dreams about him.

Lily stood up determinedly, picked the cloth up and placed it back on James' head. Then as quickly as she could without running she turned and fled the infirmary. When she re-entered the room she shared with the other Gryffindor fifth years she found Kassie standing in the middle of the room, looking around with a blank expression. She wore muggle pyjama pants and a t-shirt and her hair was sticking up in several directions. Feeling that somehow Kassie could tell what she was thinking by looking at her, Lily busied herself with getting her books back out of her bag. "What are you doing?" she asked, still not looking at Kassie.

The black haired witch didn't seem to notice Lily's distraction. "Sirius," she replied, opened the door, went out through it and then closed the door behind her. Lily raised an eyebrow, looked at the closed door for a minute, shook her head and went back to her homework.

Kassie, however, sleepily went down the stairs from her room, turned and went up the boys’ staircase. She opened the door to the fifth year dormitories without knocking, walked straight over to Sirius' bed and pulled the hangings back. "Move over."

Sirius barely looked up before doing as he was told. Kassie fell into bed beside him, pulled the blanket up over her and closed her eyes. Sirius watched her for a minute. To say he was surprised was most likely the biggest understatement of the year. Soundlessly his mouth opened a few times before he finally settled on poking her in the back. "Eh, Kassie?"

"Hmm?"

"Not that I mind," he began, his voice expressing his confusion nicely, "but what are you doing in here?"

"Sleeping," she replied.

Sirius tilted his head to the side in thought, watching his girlfriend as she did exactly as she said: went to sleep. He looked up over her and found Peter sitting on the side of his bed, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Is she sleepwalking?"

Sirius shrugged as best he could while being propped up on one elbow. "How do you tell?"

"Don't know." Peter shook his head and disappeared behind his bed hangings. "Don't mind me, I can put a silencing charm on the bed."

Sirius glared at the red hangings. "Prat." He looked down at Kassie, who was oblivious to whatever was going on around her, and shrugged to himself. "Oh well," he muttered, yanked the cover over a little, placed his arm around Kassie and almost instantly fell asleep.

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Several hours later the calm Sunday silence of Gryffindor tower was broken by a scream. Lily and Kathleen had been playing exploding snap when the scream pierced the air. The girls looked at each other, pulled their wands and went running towards the source of the noise: the boys’ dormitories. Upon arriving and realising what had happened, they felt foolish for having pulled their wands. However being in the right place at the right time had its advantages; they would never let Kassie live this down.

Kassandra Phillips, for her part, had woken up several hours after having left her bed and taken up occupancy in Sirius' without any recollection of having done so. When she opened her eyes and stretched, her first sight was Sirius lying asleep beside her, his hand lightly resting on her waist. For several seconds Kassie smiled to herself; thinking she was dreaming. And then as her surroundings came into view, Kassie figured out she was most definitely not dreaming. Then she screamed.

"AHH!" Sirius yelled, jumping up and falling off the side of the bed with a loud and painful sounding THUMP! "What?!" He stood up as fast as he could, having wrapped himself up in the blanket and bed curtains he fell again and Kassie emitted a high pitched squeak.

"What are you doing in here? How did you get in here?!" she demanded, looking down at Sirius on the floor from atop his bed. "You were in my bed!" she accused, pointing her finger at him.

"In your bed?!" Sirius finally managed to say, having opened his mouth and waved his hands around like a fish out of water for a second. "Woman, you're in my bed!"

"I most certainly am not!" Kassie replied.

It was at that time that the door opened and Lily and Kathleen came in. Both their mouths opened simultaneously, their wand arms dropping to their sides. Kathleen was the first to recover from her shock. "Do I see what I think I see?" she asked no one in particular.

"If you see Kassie in Sirius' bed, I see it, too," Lily replied.

Kassie looked down at herself, around the room, at Lily, Kathleen, Sirius on the floor and her face turned so red it looked like someone had set fire to it. "Wha--? How," she asked slowly, swallowing, "did I end up in here?"

Sirius stood up, finally having untangled himself from the bed sheets. He was bare chested but wearing pyjama pants that looked like they were at least one size too big. Kassie looked at him, looked down at herself and seemed to let out a breath of relief. Lily nearly choked on her laughter. "How?" she repeated.

"You just came in here, told me to move over and lay down," Sirius explained. "I asked you what you were doing and you told me sleeping. That's what I was doing, so I saw no reason to turn you out."

Kassie's mouth fell open just as Peter's bed hangings moved back. "That's it," he declared.

Everyone looked at him blankly. "Care to elaborate on that?" Kathleen asked.

"That's how you can tell if she's sleepwalking," Peter replied smugly and closed his curtains. Sirius groaned and fell across the bed just as Lily and Kathleen gave into their laughter.

Kassie watched them all for a minute before sliding out of the side of the bed and standing up. Lily and Kathleen moved aside to let her out of the room and Kassie did so quickly, her face blood red. Across the room Sirius lifted his head up off the mattress to see Lily and Kathleen still sniggering. "OUT!" he yelled, pointing his finger toward the door. "Get out!"

"Ok already, we're going," Kathleen muttered. "I didn't see you ordering Kassie out, though."

Sirius' reply was to throw a pillow at her head. It fell short by about four feet and caused Lily and Kathleen to laugh harder. The next flying object was a book, and it barely missed Lily's head as she ducked out of the room.

--End Chapter 43.