Harry Potter and the Psychic Serpent

“Are you both ready to go? I’ve been to the Burrow--Ron and the rest of his family are fine. Bill and Charlie are still there--”

“Yeah,” said Harry. “We know. Ron’s not too happy about it.”

“Yes. He feels like they’re babysitting him.”

“So he’s just feeling like they’re treating him like a baby?” Hermione asked. “He’s just fine?” She didn’t sound happy about this somehow. “I wrote to him while we were traveling--but he never wrote back, not once.”

Sirius looked at her levelly. “Well, he asked me about how you were doing. Not in the friendliest of ways, mind you. So I told him about the abduction. Then he seemed very concerned...”

Hermione looked very interested in this. Harry sat back and frowned. “Really? What did he say?” she wanted to know.

“Say? He didn’t say anything. But--I could tell he was concerned, all the same.” Sirius looked at her again, then at Harry, who grimaced. Sirius looked perplexed. He decided to change the subject.

“As you know, I’ll be coming with you on the Knight Bus--they allow pets--so you won’t be traveling alone. However; we’re going to have to walk nearly a mile away to get it. The protective charms around here have been enlarged. The bus apparates; it won’t be able to get any closer than that.”

So Snape wasn’t just overcompensating by setting them down in the village, Harry thought. Just a couple of years ago, I was able to get the Knight Bus over on Magnolia Crescent, a few blocks away...

Sirius changed back into a dog and went into the house with them. Dudley was in the kitchen, looking guilty about having his face in the refrigerator.

“Oh, hello, just looking to see if there was more of that chocolate--I mean, more fruit...”

Then he saw the large black dog with them. “Oh! Your godfather’s here already.”

Harry put his finger up to his lips. “Shhh! We’re going to get our trunks. We have to go.”

“I’ll help you with yours, Hermione!” he said enthusiastically. Hermione smile at him, and they left the room. Harry patted Sirius on the head.

“Wait here.”

Sirius seemed to nod. When Harry had thumped his trunk down the stairs, and gone back to get Hedwig in her cage, he waited in the hall. Dudley was carrying Hermione’s trunk down, looking as though he were going to pitch down the stairs at any second. Harry’s aunt and uncle stood in the living room doorway, looking as grumpy as ever, despite their good dinner.

“Can I come with you?” Dudley asked Harry.

His parents cried together, “Dudley!”

“I don’t mean go to his school--”

Sirius came padding down the hall from the kitchen and changed into his human form, making Petunia scream and hide again. “I think what he means is he’d like to see them off. That’s fine, but we have to walk about a mile away first.”

Hermione looked down at her trunk uncertainly. “It was awfully tiring to drag this here when I came, Sirius. Do you think you could--”

Sirius smiled at her. “All right. We’ll do it here, instead of outside. Wingardium Leviosa,” he said softly, tapping each of the trunks lightly. Petunia screamed again, not knowing what to expect; magic in her house! But all that happened was that each trunk now levitated about an inch off the floor, as though on very small wheels that couldn’t be seen.

Hermione nodded to the Dursleys. “Thank you for having me, Mr. and Mrs. Dursley.”

Harry nodded curtly at them. “Bye,” was all he said. Sirius changed into a dog again; Petunia screamed again. Dudley frowned at his mother.

“Get a grip,” he said to her, then opened the door. The four of them left, Harry and Hermione pulling their gently floating trunks behind them easily, Sirius padding before them. After about twenty minutes, Sirius sat down suddenly and looked at Harry and nodded. Harry took his wand out of the holster on the belt he’d gotten from Ron and put his arm out as if to hail a cab.

There was a very loud, abrupt BANG and a glaring light seemed to come from nowhere. Dudley and Hermione both screamed; neither of them had known what to expect. Dudley pulled Hermione’s trunk up a dark driveway, and Hermione with it, since she was still holding onto the other handle. There appeared before them all, in the middle of the quiet suburban street, a triple-decker, very purple bus, where there had been nothing a moment before. Over the windshield, gold lettering proclaimed The Knight Bus.

Harry and Sirius walked calmly up to the bus, and after a moment, feeling a bit ridiculous, Hermione took her floating trunk over to where they stood, this time dragging Dudley reluctantly with her. He was shaking.

The conductor stepped off of the bus, his uniform as violently purple as the vehicle, and began his usual speech: “Welcome to the Knight Bus, emergency transport for the stranded witch or wizard. Just stick out your wand hand--”

“Hello, Stan,” said Harry with a smile, having heard his spiel before. Stan Shunpike stopped talking with a look of recognition.

“Harry! Harry Potter, as I live and breath!”

“Shhh!” Harry swiftly silenced him. “Quiet, or I may not go on living and breathing.”

Stan winked at him. “Oh, I see. Traveling incognito again, are we? Being Neville Longbottom again, are we?” Another wink. “I’m with you. Hello, Neville Longbottom,” he suddenly said very loudly. “And who is this with you?”

“This is my cousin Dudley. And this is--Lavender Brown.”

“Come on aboard!” Stan exclaimed.

Hermione looked at him quizzically. “Neville? Lavender?”

“Yeah, I thought I told you, a couple of years ago...”

“Haven’t got all night, Neville and Lavender,” Stan said even louder than before, winking very broadly and smiling conspiratorially. “You goin’ to London?”

“No. To the Burrow. That’s near Ottery St. Catchpole.” Harry opened his trunk and removed his money bag. “How much?” Harry asked Stan.

“Right. Let me take your trunks on board and check the rate schedule.” He took out his wand and waved it carelessly toward their trunks and Hedwig’s cage. “Second level all right?” Harry nodded. While the trunks moved up into the bus on their own, Dudley goggled and Stan consulted a small booklet he pulled out of his pocket. “Here we are: fifteen Sickles, but for seventeen you get ‘ot chocolate, an’ for nineteen--”

“That’s okay Stan. That comes to thirty silver Sickles for the two of us, right? Here’s two Galleons,” and he handed two large gold coins to Stan.

“Your change,” Stan said, taking the Galleons and returning to Harry four silver Sickles, which Harry put into his money bag.

“My--dog can come, right?” He looked at Sirius. He didn’t notice Dudley trying to see what else was in Harry’s money bag.

“Sure. All aboard!” Harry and Sirius climbed the steps, but Dudley put his hand on Hermione’s arm.

“Write to me?” he asked her throatily. She nodded at him and leaned in to kiss him on the cheek.

“Of course, Dudley. Good bye.” And she turned to go up the steps. Harry leaned out one of the curtained windows on the second level.

“What about your parents, Dud? They’ll freak about the owls.”

“Write to me at school; they’ll never know.”

“Bye!” Harry called to him, feeling for the first time in his life that he might actually miss him.

“Bye!” Dudley called, waving. Stan Shunpike stood next to the brass bedstead Harry had chosen. Hermione had placed her trunk at the foot of the bed next to his, and Sirius had lain down on the floor between the two beds.

“Harry--I mean, Neville--is that bloke a Muggle? Is he okay?”

“He’s fine, Stan. A couple of months ago, I wouldn’t have said that, but yes; he’s fine.”

Stan went back down the stairs to sit in an armchair next to the one the driver, Ernie Prang, was seated in. There was another earthshattering BANG and Harry and Hermione both found themselves on the floor, narrowly missing Sirius, thrown by the speed of the Knight Bus.

Outside in the street, Dudley fell backward onto a very green lawn, and somehow triggered the automatic sprinkler system. He sat, sprawled, oblivious to being watered along with the rest of the grass, saying only, “Wow....”

Harry and Hermione recovered from the bumpy start and lay down on their respective beds. Harry reached down his hand to idly pet Sirius. Hermione looked out the curtained windows, fascinated by the landscape going by; one moment they seemed to be in Manchester, the next in Edinburgh, then Bath....Harry smiled, watching her face. Here she was, having known for four years that she was a witch, and these things still amazed her. But then Harry had to smile to himself. What with all her reading, she probably knows about more amazing things than I do. Then he thought about other things he knew that she didn’t, like what it felt like to have Voldemort put the Cruciatus Curse on him, and he looked up at her again, at her innocent enjoyment of the passing scenery, her shock each time the bus made a leap. I hope she never knows that kind of pain, he thought. Or Ron.

Harry put his head down on his arms and closed his eyes. It seemed that he’d hardly been lying there like that for a moment when he heard Stan Shunpike come up the stairs bellowing, “Next stop: the Burrow!”

“That’s us! Hermione said excitedly, jumping up and grabbing her trunk, not even bothering to ask Sirius to float it again. “Oh, Harry, you never told me what this was like! It’s incredible!”

With a BANG! the bus was driving along a quiet, dark country lane, then came to a halt. Harry smiled at her. “We should go.” He picked up Hedwig’s cage and dragged his trunk to the stairs. When Stan saw them coming, he levitated the trunks again, and they were able to just walk calmly down the stairs, following their belongings. Sirius padded after them. Harry checked his watch; it was only eleven o’clock at night. He looked up and saw one of the most comforting sights he knew of: the Burrow, home to the Weasley family. It looked like it ought to by rights be falling down, but Harry knew that magic prevented that, and that it was much larger on the inside than it looked from the outside.

Lights still glowed in most of the windows, and the Weasleys had probably not been able to ignore the noise of the bus’ arrival. Sure enough, the kitchen door opened and Ginny came out into the garden, breaking into a smile when she saw Harry.

Harry immediately got his own smile upon seeing her; she had become so tall and beautiful! he thought. She was wearing a simple summer dress, blue with a fitted waist and bodice, modestly covering her knees. She ran across the grass barefoot to greet him, and he ran to meet her halfway, still smiling, and surprised her by throwing his arms around her in a greeting hug, and twirling her around while she put her arms around his neck and laughed. He put her down, grinning at her--she was just slightly taller than him, now--thinking, It felt wonderful to hold her! Even in the moonlight, he could see that Ginny’s face was as red as her hair. Over her shoulder, he saw Hermione climbing down from the bus, frowning at them. He looked back to Ginny.

“Hello, Ginny! It’s wonderful to see you. Thank you for my birthday present,” he added, taking the basilisk amulet out of his shirt to show her. She smiled, looking thrilled.

“Well, you know, Ron said you’d gotten a snake--”

“Oh, right! This is Sandy.” He took off his black denim jacket; he was wearing a black T-shirt from which he’d removed the sleeves, and showed her the small green garden snake curled around his upper arm just above his elbow. Ginny stepped forward tentatively and stroked Sandy.

“She feels nice,” she whispered. Then she moved her fingers up to Harry’s upper arm, above where Sandy was coiled, tracing the outline of the newly-visible muscles there, but she abruptly pulled her hand back guiltily and looked up at Harry. Their faces seemed very close together, and his skin was tingling where she’d stroked his arm.

What is this? Harry wondered. Earlier, Hermione and I almost--and now Ginny looks so nice, and I really enjoyed holding her, and--

The door opened again and Ron Weasley came into the garden. Both Harry and Ginny jumped, and pointedly separated themselves. Hermione walked over to them and nodded at Ginny, not smiling.

“Hello, Ginny.”

Ginny looked perplexed by the cold greeting and said hello in return. Harry greeted Ron, who responded normally enough, but then there was another cold, awkward greeting between Ron and Hermione, who could best be described as grunting at each other. Ginny looked at them quizzically, then at Harry, who raised his eyebrows and shrugged. He was playing dumb; he knew perfectly well that Ron was still seething about Hermione going to visit Viktor Krum, especially since she was almost kidnapped. Snape may not have lectured her for what happened, but Ron probably would, Harry thought.

He turned to say good bye to Sirius, but he’d gone already. Then, without warning, the Knight Bus went BANG! again and disappeared from sight. The four of them turned and walked through the kitchen garden, Ginny and Ron carrying Harry’s trunk and Harry and Hermione carrying hers. When they were inside the house, Harry was immediately hugged by Mrs. Weasley, and thumped on the back in turn by Mr. Weasley and his sons. Bill was every bit as cool as Harry remembered him, from his long red ponytail and fang earring to his ripped rock-star clothes and dragon-skin boots.

“Hello, Harry. How’s it going? And--” Bill suddenly stopped. “Hello, Hermione,” Bill said slowly, drawing it out, looking her up and down in a way that Ron and Harry didn’t like. She smiled at him and tossed her short curls.

“Hello, Bill. How’re the goblins?”

“Oh, annoying as hell. But what you gonna do?” They smiled at each other, and Harry followed her eyes; she was now looking appreciatively at Bill the way he’d looked at her. He wanted to find some way to break this up, but this was so unexpected he was at a loss. Suddenly, Fred and George came bounding over.

“Hey, wow, Hermione! Do you look great!” George said brightly, and Fred gave a loud wolf whistle. All three of them laughed. Both Fred and George didn’t mince words; nor did they skulk around making eyes at girls. They were as straightforward as they came.

Hermione laughed. “Thanks. How’ve you been?”

“Oh, sod us. What’s it like being the girlfriend of a world-famous Quidditch player?” Fred wanted to know. At the mention of Viktor, Ron’s face went very dark and he mumbled something and left the kitchen.

“Oh, um, it’s fine,” she stammered.

Charlie came over to Harry and clapped a hand on his shoulder. “But,” he said to the twins, “did Viktor Krum think to fly to get past his dragon? Did Viktor Krum win the Triwizard Tournament?”

Everyone was silent. Then Harry said quietly to Charlie, “I’d rather not talk about that.”

Charlie backed off. “Oh, sorry, I’ve really put my foot in it...”

“Open mouth, insert foot!” Fred and George howled in unison.

“Now, now,” Mrs. Weasley said, trying to get her sons to settle down. “Don’t pester Harry and Hermione. Let them get settled in their rooms.” She turned to Hermione. “And you might not see Crookshanks until the morning, dear. He’s out hunting. But he’s been good as gold all summer.” She levitated the trunks again. “There you go, dears. They’ll just about fly up the stairs with you.”

Ginny walked up the stairs and Hermione followed with her trunk. Ginny looked over her shoulder at Hermione, making a puzzled face. Ron led Harry up the stairs, glaring at Hermione’s back and muttering. Well, thought Harry, so far no one’s mad at me. He watched Hermione go into Ginny’s room and the door close. He and Ron continued up to the top of the house, to the slightly cramped space that Ron had completely plastered with posters featuring the Chuddly Cannons, Ron’s favorite Quidditch Team, giving the room a distinctly orange hue.

“Where’s Percy?” Harry thought to ask when they were in Ron’s room with the door closed. Ron flopped on one of the beds. “On a date. Should be back soon, too, or he’ll catch it. Even if he is out of school, Mum says as long as he’s still living under this roof--you remember Penelope Clearwater? She was a Ravenclaw prefect?”

“Sure.”

“Well, she’s in an entry-level position at Witch Weekly, editorial assistant or something. I think her job consists of fetching pumpkin juice for meetings and helping vote for the most charming smile prize; did you notice Gilderoy Lockhart is still winning that every year? They stopped going out for a while after they finished school, but then they ran into each other at a party and they’ve been together again ever since. She’s got her own flat in a village in Dorchester; makes Mum very antsy...”

Harry had been sitting on the other bed quietly, trying to pay attention to Ron, but his mind was wandering....

“So what do you think, Harry? Harry?”

“Huh?” Harry said in confusion. “Sorry, I must be tired...”

“I said, are Hermione and Krum still a couple? She told me about his job with the Cannons. Can you believe it?”

Harry considered his words carefully. “Well, she doesn’t want to stay with him. She says she doesn’t feel about him the way he feels about her.” Ron looked pretty happy about this, but like he was trying to hide it. “And she said she doesn’t feel safe with him. You know, the whole abduction thing.”

“I know!” Ron exclaimed, springing to his feet and pacing back and forth as well as he could considering that he had to stoop over half the time; he was now over six feet tall, and the slanted ceiling sloped down to four feet at the exterior wall. “He should have been taking better care of her! After all, he’s of age, he can use magic any time he wants, she can’t! What was he thinking?”

Harry didn’t tell him that Hermione thought it was possible that Viktor Krum had actually been cooperating with the kidnappers. “Yeah, well, she said that Snape reamed him out about that already.”

“Snape?”

“He was meeting with Sirius in Bulgaria. And he brought Hermione and her parents to my house. You should have seen me jump when I opened the door and saw him there.”

Ron laughed. “Yes! I wish I could have seen your face!” He held his stomach and rolled onto the bed, then sat up and looked at Harry again. “So, she’s going to break up with him.”

He explained Hermione’s predicament to him, and the plan for the dates to become more like group outings. “I told her I’m in. Do you think you and Ginny can come too, and maybe Fred and George?”

“Probably. Except for George. He’s going with Angelina now.”

“Angelina? Didn’t she go to the Yule Ball with Fred?”

“Yeah, and they went out a little after that, but then one time the two of them swapped--you know, a twin thing, just to be funny--and it turned out she liked George better. Fred was cool about it.”

“Do they still--swap?”

“Don’t know. Angelina would know, though. She obviously saw some kind of difference between them, to decide she liked George better.”

Harry suddenly felt very tired. “Are we leaving early for Diagon Alley?” He undressed and got into his bed. Ron did likewise.

“Right after breakfast. Floo powder. But it shouldn’t take too long. When we get back, let’s play some Quidditch; with Bill and Charlie here, we can have four to a side, if Hermione plays.”

“You think she will? She hates riding on broomsticks. And wouldn’t Ginny have to play, too?”

“Oh, Ginny’ll play. You’ve never seen her play, have you?” Harry shook his head. Ron grinned, but immediately looked like he was trying hard not to. Harry wondered why. “Well, good night,” he said abruptly, switching off the light.