Noisy Stranger

Noisy stranger

"Me, Gilderoy Lockhart."

Gilderoy Lockhart enjoyed talking about himself as he rode along a large bus through the long streets of London. He praised himself and the other passengers responded by groaning but some pretended to be asleep, trying hard to ignore the noisy stranger. It was Lockhart's first time on the bus and he was feeling extremely excited. He doesn't know what to wear, so he simply wore a yellow rope, almost looking like a Shakespearean actor. From his large suitcase, Lockhart took out a wooden club and started to describe his fight against a giant ape.

"I am destined to be a hero," said Lockhart, almost shouting. "It was no simple task. The ape's tooth was as long as my arm. I had nothing on me except club and my good looks but I didn't get rid of it by smiling!"

He waited for the passengers to laugh but a few people smiled weakly.

"Do you know what happened to that damn ape?" said Lockhart, looking around. "Well, I overpowered it using my bare hands and tackled it to the ground. It growled, yes, but I growled even louder, releasing my strength within. Surprisingly, the ape grabbed me by the neck and bit me on the leg but I quickly slam it's gigantic head against a wall. Then I threw it in an empty zoo cell, where it belongs. What did I get for doing this? My looks - still charming. My popularity -more fans than the usual millions, especially the ladies. My leg - CRAMPED!"

"Ouch!" screamed Lockhart. "Leg cramp! Ouch! Someone call 911!"

"Shut up!" begged the other passengers, trying their best not to insult the noisy stranger.

Lockhart tried to relieve his leg cramps by massaging it but he accidentally fell over, pushing his big suitcase forward. The couple infront of him were squashed forward like a canned tuna. The wooden club Lockhart was holding flew across the bus and it hit against the head of the conductor, causing the bus to swerve violently to the right, almost crashing into a supermarket. The people grumbled angrily but Lockhart continued his next description about the time he escaped the agents in the matrix.

"I was on a mission two weeks ago," said Lockhart, standing up despite his cramped leg. The crowd on the bus groaned again. "The terrible monster was strong but only I, Gilderoy Lockhart, could save the people from the blue Yeti in China,"

He spoke louder in his excitement.

"Don't worry about me. I'm fine and I did promise the Chinese that I'll protect them from all the ravages of evil and villainy."

"Quiet!" the other passengers hissed.

"Hey!" Lockhart responded. " I didn't kill the Yeti, I simply gave it a new home in the mountains far away from civilization. Now listen to the time when I broke a vampire's tooth."

The crowded bus continue inch its way through the snarl of traffic and it was almost as if it wanted to get rid of the noisy Lockhart. The bus quickly passed a music store and a cinema till Lockhart noticed a tiny, grubby-looking pub.

"Mr....err...bald man conductor!" shouted Lockhart suddenly, waving like a lunatic. "Stop this machine! I'm getting off!"

The conductor, who was always lively and friendly, frowned for the first time in many years. The passengers, however, gave a sigh of relieve as the bus left Lockhart behind. It was almost as if they were cheering and began singing the "BYE BYE BYE" song, as the bus passed round the corner of the street.

"Funny Muggles, I think they liked me," beamed Lockhart. "Must be my charming looks, yes..."

He entered the pub, carrying his big suitcase with him. In the pub, several witches and wizards were seen, sitting in the corner, drinking and talking heartily. Lockhart walked in and met the old barman of the pub.

"Hello, Mr.Lockhart," said the old barman. "How are you?"

"No time, Tom," said Lockhart proudly. "I'm simply busy today but do you know if the Ministry's offering a job in their department? An Auror perhaps?"

"No," laughed Tom, cleaning a dirty mug. "They don't need much Aurors nowadays since you-know-who is gone. But take a look at the Daily Prophet, they may advertise some jobs that might interest you."

"Thanks, Tom," replied Lockhart. "Now I've got to sign copies of my autobiography in Flourish and Blotts. By the way, use the Muggle bus if you're going anywhere. The Muggles are simply kind fellows, really kind."

"I'll keep that in mind, Mr. Lockhart," said Tom as he handed Lockhart the newspaper. "Have a nice day."

Lockhart grabbed the paper and walked through the bar into a walled courtyard, where he stopped for a while when an article in the newspaper caught his eyes. He read it again, completely absorbed.

It read: IN NEED OF A TEACHER IN HOGWARTS

VACANCY: DEFENSE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS

IF INTERESTED,PLEASE CONTACT ALBUS DUMBLEDORE IMMEDIATELY.

"Interesting," said Lockhart. "Maybe I can increase my popularity among the students." Lockhart smiled as he entered Diagon Alley into Flourish and Blotts.

"Calmly, please ladies...no pushing...there are plenty of me for everyone. I'll be here till 4.30pm."

THE END