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Tuesday, September 16, 7th Year Girls' Dormitory
Observant Lily: Day 1
Total Observations: 0

Lily Evans' Four Step Plan to Becoming a Brilliant Observer

STEP ONE: Observe Your Surroundings

In order to become a Brilliant Observer, one must learn to always observe their surroundings. Those surroundings include all places, people, objects and UFOs.

STEP TWO: Learn to Determine Whether or Not a Particular Observation is Worth Further Scrutiny

All Brilliant Observers are able to determine whether or not a certain subject has changed/appeared. Brilliant Observers must then decide whether or not that particular subject is worth further observation. In order to be a Brilliant Observer, you must have this decisive trait.

STEP THREE: Observe Closely!

Brilliant Observers are always capable of spotting interesting and changed subjects. Once a B.O. finds a subject worthy of his/her scrutiny, they will then go over these simple questions in their brilliant, quick-thinking heads:

What is this subject?

What has changed about this subject?

OR

Why has this subject appeared?

Is this change/appearance helpful? If so, how can this change be preserved?

Is this change/appearance harmful? If so, how can this be stopped, or made not to happen again?

STEP FOUR: Take Action!

Using their nifty questions from Step Three, B.O.'s then continue to take the best possible course of action with their newly gained information.

Later, Eating a Late Breakfast in the Great Hall
Observant Lily: Day 1
Total Observations: 1

You know, I reckon I'm a natural at all this observing rubbish. Really, I think I am. I mean, I know I supposedly missed something big and important that everyone else except me seems to know, but it couldn't have been that apparent because my observing-talent senses didn't detect it. And they're good. My observing senses, I mean. Like this morning, just before, I followed all my silly steps and did all the right things, just like I was supposed to and came up with some fairly interesting and rewarding results.

STEP ONE: Observe My Surroundings.

I was up bright and early this morning and walked into the Great Hall on a mission. I knew what I had to do and by God, I was going to do it.

Stepping quickly through the side doors, stifling a yawn and trying to keep from walking into anything or anyone, I stopped just outside the threshold of the doorway and got down to business. Shifting my head from side to side, my eyes narrowing to get a clearer look, I gave the room a good, thorough once-over. It was a rather tough assignement, of course, because normally no one in their right mind would look that closely at the Hogwarts' population so early in the morning (we are, unfortunately, not excatly the prettiest of groups at such an hour), but I did it without even the smallest wince. Brilliant Observers, after all, have to get used to these gruesome images. You can't always be observing the flowers growing and the leaves falling, you know. Brilliant Observers observe it all. The good, the bad and the ugly. And that's pretty much what us Hogwarts kids are at an hour such as this: ugly. You could be the prettiest, liveliest, most mystifying person in all the world and you're still not going to look very glamourous at 6:30 in the morning. That's just the way life works. Early mornings are the one and only time of the day when everyone is equal, because even though you look and feel like rubbish, the person next to you is guartneed to feel the same, if not worse, so hey, everyone can just be friends.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. So anyway, I'm looking around the Great Hall, trying not to notice all the pretty disgusting things occurring around me (first years falling asleep in their plates, a couple of fifth-years experimenting with their oatmeal and eggs, etc.) and after determining that no, nothing of supreme interest was around just yet, I went to take my seat at the Gryffindor table, when who would be standing right in front of me, but a very tired looking--yet still very able to glare--unhappy little boy.

Yes, Marcus Hillpitt.

STEP TWO: Determining.

So as I stood/sat, one leg over the table bench, one leg behind it, I looked curiously at the rather innocent fourth-year that was standing in front of me, glaring with a ferocity that couldn't have been legal at such an early hour. And do you know what? It rather bothered me. His glaring, I mean. No one likes being glared at, and certainly not with the intensity that Marcus was currently glaring at me with. It wasn't a pleasant feeling, knowing that this otherwise rather innocent boy had somehow acquired a rather hateful personal vendetta against you. And suddenly I realised that there was no reason to be extending this boy's hatred for me any further. I mean, whether I like it or not, I am Head Girl now, and even though I'm pretty sure that Dumbledore was three sheets to the wind while choosing the Head Students this year, as of right now, I have to be a role model. Role models just don't have angry fourth-years hating them. They just don't.

So I decided it was time to make amends, once and forall.

"Hello, Marcus," I said, in what I hoped was a happy, you-should-really-just-stop-hating-me-because-it-will-save-us-both-so-much-trouble voice.

Well, he either didn't catch the happiness I was trying to throw on him or just didn't care to accept the fact that I was trying to make amends, because Marcus pretty much ignored me. He just grumbled a bit and sat down. This, you know, was truly an annoyance. I mean, there I was, trying to be nice and he was just shrugging me off as if...

And then it hit me.

Slowly, it all began to make sense.

No wonder he was being so hostile! If some girl had ruined my end-of-term project--even if it was by accident--and never once, really truly apologized, I would hate her too!

Yes, that's right. I realised that I had never once really, truly, honestly apologized to poor Marcus! Well, I'm sure I moaned and groaned a few apologies as I was lying in the Hospital Wing being treated for all those horrid bites while Hillpitt was yelling and screaming, but I doubt he remembers any of that. And it wouldn't really count anyway because I'm pretty sure I didn't mean any of it.

STEP THREE: Observing Closely.

What is this subject?

This subject is Marcus Hillpitt.

What has changed about this subject?

Nothing has changed. Except maybe his clothes, but they don't count. He still hates me. Just like yesterday... and the day before that.

Is this change/appearance helpful?

Being hated is not helpful. It is not helpful at all.

If so, how can this change be preserved?

I do not want to preserve Mr. Hillpitt's hatred.

Is this change/appearance harmful?

Harmful? Yes, I do believe it is harmful. After all, being hated hurts my reputation as Head Girl. That just won't do.

If so, how can this be stopped, or made to not happen again?

I can apologize-- properly-- so that Mr. Hillpitt doesn't hate me.

STEP FOUR: Taking Action.

"Listen, Marcus," I started, sitting myself down and trying to get his attention. "I know this is incredibly long overdue and may seem perhaps a bit unorthodox at the moment, but I just wanted to apologize about your plant last term. I honestly didn't mean to knock it over or anything, but I still should have been watching what I was doing. I'm sorry."

I didn't think it was necessary to give him the whole "stupid-kid-Greenhouse-Four-is-jinxed-and-not-suitable-for-important-projects" speech, seeing as I was attempting to apologize and I didn't think that that would be helping my situation, but I was thinking it. I also didn't see the point in telling him that I had at the time been trying to scope out Amos Diggory because my teenage hormones enjoy lusting over him, but I was thinking about that as well.

He stood there for a moment, watching me, contemplating, possibly listing all the horribly terrible things he could blackmail my guilty complex into doing because of his stupid plant and then... he nodded.

"It's fine," he told me with a shrug. "Now can you please pass me the scrambled eggs? I'm starved."

Mission: Complete.

Later, Defense Against the Dark Arts
Observant Lily: Day 1
Total Observations: 4

You'll NEVER guess what I did this morning at breakfast. -LE

You're probably right. -EV

Let me guess... you finally busted up your courage and snogged Diggory senseless? -GR

Um, no.

You ninny.

Shut it. I'm trying to tell you about my major accomplishment!

Please, share it with us, Lily.

All right, so this morning, I get up, as you know, super late, and I run down to breakfast hoping that there is still something left, and I get there and you'll never guess who's standing in front of me...

The Minister of Magic?

That incredibly adorable bloke we met last summer at the Magic Wand's concert?

No!! Marcus Hillpitt!!

Who?

The kid whose plant nearly killed you?

Au contraire, my friend. I nearly killed IT.

Wait a second, are you talking about the Fanged Geranium from Greenhouse 4?

Yes, but-

Lily, that plant nearly decapitated you!! What are you talking about 'I nearly killed IT'? You were two seconds away from becoming chopped liver!

I was not! And besides, I was the one who ran into it. But we're getting off topic. So, anyway, I looked at him, and he glared at me, and then suddenly I had a...er.... an epiphany! And-

An epiphany?

Because of a scrawny 4th-year?

Yes!

Oh, Merlin, Lily.

I'm serious!

Then, please, do share.

All right then. So as I was saying, I was watching him, and then I realised he didn't need to be glaring at me!

Of course he didn't need to be glaring at you! You did nothing wrong!

I killed his project!

You were definitely more scarred than the ruddy plant, Lily.

You're both completely missing the point.

Well then can we hurry the point up a bit because I think Professor Crandy is ready to pounce on the lot of us.

He does look a bit antsy today, doesn't he?

I think it may be because we are throwing balls of paper at each other when we should be copying notes.

You know what, NEVERMIND. If you don't want to hear about my epiphany, then FINE. Copy the bloody notes. You've just lost yourselves a friend.

You're so melodramatic.

I just got paper in your ear.

I hate you.

Later, 7th Year Girls' Dormitory
Observant Lily: Day 1
Total Observations: 7

When Grace and Emma finally stopped being pricks and let me explain about my epiphany as well as my Observant Lily Scheme, they both thought I was nutters. Maybe I am, but at least no one can accuse me of not noticing things or doing things about the things I notice, right?

Being crazy is a fickle thing, don't you think?

Still Later, Gryffindor Common Room
Observant Lily: Day 1
Total Observations: 8

I really hate McGonagall. She does this on purpose, I just know it. She has to know that I can't ask my tutor for help on this wretched homework and yet she assigns it anyway! She must find it comical or something! Yes, well, I DO NOT find this comical AT ALL. And what's with Emma anyway? Saying that she won't help me. Psh. When a girl won't take time to help her best mate with her homework, you know something is wrong... or said mate as just acquired herself a boy toy, but either way, MATES OVER BLOKES!!!!

Maybe I'll go find Sirius. He'll help me.

Later Still, 7th Year Girls' Dormitory
Observant Lily: Day 1
Total Observations: 9

With some intense badgering I got Sirius and Peter to help me with the stupid assignment.

"Shouldn't you be asking James about all this?" Peter asked me as I moved all my Transfiguration stuff onto the couch that the two of them had been sitting upon. I threw him a look that clearly said 'Over my dead body, now let's move onto the questions', but neither he nor Sirius dropped the topic.

"Hey! Wormtail's right! Isn't Prongs your tutor now?"

I let out a frustrated sigh and began flipping impatiently through my Transfiguration textbook. "If you mean Potter," I answered. "Then, yes... sort of." I kept up a nonchalant tone, trying to avoid the topic. Why does everyone have to make things difficult? Couldn't they just help me with the ruddy assignment and then move on? It's quite a simple process.

"Sort of?" pestered Sirius. "What do you mean 'sort of'?"

"Well with him being all pissy towards me, how can you expect me to even LOOK at him, let alone ask him for help with any of this bloody stuff?" I snapped, letting my temper flare a bit. I really have to learn to control myself better.

When I regained my composure, I turned to see both Peter and Sirius staring at me as if I'd grown another head.

"What?" I hissed, clearly getting aggravated.

"Bloody hell!" Sirius grinned. "You... you swore, Evans!"

I let out an annoyed breath and rolled my eyes. "Of course I swore! Everyone swears!"

"But, you never swear!" Peter said in awe.

"What in Merlin's name are you both talking about?" I asked, now completely annoyed at their ridiculous astonishment.

"Well," started Sirius, scratching his head. "No offense or anything, Lily, but you kind of have the reputation of a... er... how do I put this? A... uh..."

"Conservative Prefect?" Peter helped.

My mouth dropped open. A WHAT?!

"Actually, I was looking for something more along the lines of prudish know-it-all-"

"EXCUSE ME?" I cried, not bothering to hide my surprise or my disgust. "WHAT did you just call me?"

"Well it's nothing personal, Lily," Peter told me. "It's just... you're really smart, and a Prefect to boot..."

"Smart?" I cried. "In case you two prats hadn't noticed, I came over here for HELP with my homework. And as you both so KINDLY reminded me, I have A TUTOR because I am FAILING! How in Merlin's name does that classify as smart?!"

"Transfiguration is just one class," said Sirius with a careless wave of his hand. "And besides, you're not failing. You just need a little...er... help. And you're perfectly brilliant at every other class."

I stared at the two of them, flabbergasted. Were they both absolutely NUTTERS? Me? Smart? They had to be kidding! I mean, yes, I AM brilliant at Charms, that I will say immodestly, but I'm FAILING Transfiguration, I NEVER pay attention in DADA, I MAKE UP my Divination work, and Ancient Runes? Merely a diversion to be in the same room as Amos. Honestly! Does that sound like an INTELLIGENT person's schedule?

No, it most certainly does NOT!

But that wasn't what was REALLY bothering me. I mean, so what? If they think I'm smart, more power to me. No... what was REALLY bothering me was the other name Sirius had said...

Me? A prude? Humph!

"And what about this 'prudish' rubbish?" I asked in a half-offended, half-distressed voice. "Do you honestly think I'm a prude?"

Both boys instantly looked uncomfortable. Peter started picking things off his robes and Sirius began scratching his head again. I groaned, falling back into the couch cushions, covering my reddening face with my hands.

"Well it's not so bad, Lily," Peter said comfortingly. "At least people don't think you're, I don't know, a slag, or something."

I groaned again, burying my face deeper in my hands. The pathetic part was that I wasn't sure if being thought a slag was worse than being thought a prude. At least slags get to have a bit of fun. And you get to wear really nifty clothes. Not to mention they get to have dirty rendezvous with dishy lads like Amos Diggory...

DO THESE RAMBLINGS SOUND LIKE THE THOUGHTS OF A PRUDE?????

"But I don't understand," I muttered, removing my hands from my still red face. "So what if I don't swear? Lots of people don't swear and no one thinks they're prudes."

"Well think about this critically, Evans," said Sirius, placing his hand on my shoulder, not bothering what so ever to hide the pure amusement in his falsely serious voice. "You're a pretty girl, right? You're smart, nice when you're not yelling, you know, the works. Yet you rarely ever go on dates and I can't even remember the last time you had a boyfriend."

I ignored his compliments, knowing that he was just trying to make up for unleashing Insult Prude.

"So you're saying just because I'm not dating anyone, everyone thinks I'm a prude?"

Sirius smirked and said, "I'd say it's more because you're not shagging anyone, but it's all the same these days, eh?"

I grabbed my textbook and smacked him in the head with it. Peter started cracking up beside him.

"Oy!" Sirius groaned, rubbing his head. "See? That's what I'm talking about! One, minuscule dirty comment and you throw a canary!"

"I didn't throw a canary!" I protested, realizing my mistake instantly. "I just.... it... I wasn't..."

Sirius threw me a knowing glance while Peter was still crackling beside him. It was then that the realization hit me. I WAS sort of like a prude. At least, that's what I must seem like. I mean, I never swear unless it's in here or to Grace and Emma, and no one besides those two really know about my randy fantasies about Amos, and when you take away those... oh, Merlin. Total pruditity. Not good. Not good at all.

The subject dropped then and they helped me with my Transfiguration in casual silence. I just can't believe that people actually think that of me. No WONDER Dumbledore picked me as Head Girl. Who wouldn't want to pick a smart, not-going-to-shag-the-Head-Boy, Head Girl?

This is horrible. It's terrible. I think I'm going to cry.

Observation #9: People have wrongly accused me of being a prudish, know-it-all.

Action Taken: De-pruding will begin tomorrow!

Wednesday, September 17, 7th Year Girls' Dormitory
Observant Lily: Day 2
Total Observations: 10
Mission De-Pruding Ready to Commence

Merlin seems to be in favour of Mission De-Pruding as he has obviously fought hard against my bad karma and has evidently allowed Mission De-Pruding to commence with some VERY nice perks.

Observation #10: Hair is having a completely fab day.

I'm serious. I woke up this morning, slightly dreading the start of Mission De-Pruding, knowing that it'd probably fail, and walked into the bathroom to do the daily morning routine (brush teeth, wash face, brush hair, ect.). Well, I brushed my teeth and washed my face and did all those other morningish things, but when I took my hair out of its sleep-worn ponytail and started brushing it, it didn't suddenly frizz out and get all curly/straight/couldn't-decide-so-we-chose-to-do-both like it usually does. It actually looked... sort of pretty. Really. I mean, sure, there were still some waylay strands of hair that decided to curl or remained stick straight, but most of it was staying in pretty waves. REALLY pretty waves. It's the greatest. Not to mention that it's totally convenient for Mission De-Pruding because now I can wear it down all sexy-like, AND, even better, I have Ancient Runes today, FIRST CLASS, so Amos will so get see my hair in all its beautiful, wavy glory.

Mission De-Pruding: Three Simple Steps to De-Pruding Yourself

Step One) Doll Yourself Up

Yes. Along with my hair, I have actually taken time out of my busy schedule to apply make-up to my face. It was a little weird at first because I wasn't sure how much to put on, but I did my best. The first couple of attempts were far too gaudy, so I had to redo it like 7 times, but I think it came out decently. I didn't use too much because I've come to discover that there is a fine line between De-Pruding yourself and turning yourself into a slag, but you can still totally tell the difference.

Step Two) Push the Limits

I ditched my normal school robes today and instead donned just my uniform. My skirt is-- count them-- not one, but TWO inches shorter than it has EVER been in my entire life. I look like a total Elisabeth Saunders clone and I LOVE IT. Not only did I raise my skirt, but also unbuttoned TWO buttons on my shirt, quite unlike the usual one. Pushing the limits is SO perfectly brilliant!

Step Three) Swear Up A Storm!

That's right. Gone are the days when words like 'bloody', 'fuck' and 'shit' intimidate me! I am now a big, old SWEARING MACHINE! Well, that is, I WILL be a big, old swearing machine when I get the chance. For right now, I'm just practicing saying them into the mirror, you know, so it will be easy once I actually get to doing it.

Watch out world, Lily Evans is now ready for De-Pruding!

Later, 7th Year Girls' Dormitory
Observant Lily: Day 2
Total Observations: 11
Mission De-Pruding Has Now Commenced

Mission De-Pruding: Reaction One- Grace and Emma

"Lily, are you wearing make-up?"

"You're wearing your hair down?"

"Are you even wearing a skirt?"

One step out of the bathroom, and I'm instantly assaulted. Mission De-Pruding had officially begun.

I flip my nice, pretty, wavy hair over my shoulder and walk over to my bed where Grace and Emma have now frozen themselves. "Oh, sod off, you two," I say. "It's just a fucking experiment."

Silence.

"What did you just say?" Emma asked me, her tone and her glance instantly suspicious.

I look back at her casually, mentally sweating like crazy, but keeping a cool, collected external disposition.

"I said it's just an experiment," I answer with a shrug. "Well, of sorts anyway."

"No," Emma snaps instantly, taking a few steps closer to me, looking me over slowly. "BEFORE experiment, what did you say?"

I gulp, preparing myself to say it again, but Grace's insane laughter interrupts, instantly breaking through the tension in the room.

"S-she... she..." Grace stammers through her laughter, holding her stomach with unrestrained glee. "She said fuck!"

I crack a grin and nod. That's right. I said fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK!

Whoa. That was weird.

Grace slapped a hand onto my shoulder. "Welcome to the world of profanity, Lil!"

I laugh, but Emma doesn't seem to find any of this funny. She was still watching me all suspiciously. You know, like I was somebody else. I don't blame her, of course. I mean, I LOOK like someone else, I'm ACTING like someone else, I'm TALKING like someone else... if I wasn't me and I wasn't perfectly aware of Mission De-Pruding, I'd totally think I wasn't me. I'd assume polyjuice and instantly tackle Fake-Lily to the ground. Why isn't anyone assuming? Why haven't I been jumped yet? I could be a dark wizard preparing to kill each and every person at Hogwarts off one by one! Why are they just looking at me? If I truly WAS a dark wizard, they and their unsuspicious, unmoving bums would be halfway to the underworld by now!

See, this is why neither of them could be Aurors. They're not thinking. Well, not really not thinking because I'm pretty sure Emma's THINKING about jumping me, but she's not MOVING, and that's what counts. That's why I'm going to make a decent Auror. I'm suspicious, I assume, and then I attack. Even if the person is innocent, it's all right. At least then you can just shrug it off and tell them you were just doing your job. That'd be totally fab. Especially if you see a person like Elisabeth Saunders walking down the street. You could totally pounce right on her, start pulling her hair and yelling rude, obscene things at her, and once you were through, jump right back up, brush off your shoulders and apologize saying "Sorry, ma'am, just doing my job."

Aurors are so brilliant.

"You had better fess up about all this, Evans, or you're not leaving this dormitory!" Emma snapped again, shaking her finger at me.

I told the both of them that everything would be revealed in time. Emma glared at me. Grace just laughed.

Observation #11) Friends would not make good Aurors and are also easily frazzled by shortened skirts and pretty hair, as well as a bit of profanity.

Later, Breakfast in the Great Hall
Observant Lily: Day 2
Total Observations: 11
Mission De-Pruding Continues

Mission De-Pruding: Reaction Two: The Marauders

Walking down to breakfast, Grace and Emma were still trying to coax information about Mission De-Pruding out of me. I, of course resisted quite nicely, telling the both of them to 'fuck off' and 'not to bloody worry so much'. It was QUITE a riot. At least it was for me, who was laughing throughout the entire thing. Grace crackled a lot too, but I do believe that Emma is perfectly furious at me. I don't really know why, though. It's just some make-up and a little more leg. It's not like I'm walking the streets or anything.

When I walked into the Great Hall, I was sort of expecting for all noise to stop and for everyone to instantly halt what they were doing so that they could all stare at their brand new, unprudish Head Girl, but of course they didn't. This wasn't after all, an Audrey Hepburn movie, but a day in the life of Lily Evans, and that would so never happen to me.

But I did get the attention of a certain group of 7th-year boys standing a few feet away from the doors.

I'm talking about the Marauders, of course.

"Oy!" called Sirius, laughing as he said it, beckoning me over with his hand. Grace, Emma and I all walked over to where the four of them were standing.

"Good morning, gentlemen," I said, flashing them a smile and flipping my good-hair-day-hair over my shoulder. Both Sirius and Peter were snickering, fully aware of why this short skirted, make-up wearing, button opened, Elisabeth Saunders look-alike was standing it front of them. Remus cocked his eyebrow, looking me over with an uncertain glance while Potter took a few moments out of his precious I'm-going-to-act-angry-and-glare lifestyle and glanced at me with a face that looked half-astonished and half-ill. I smiled at that. This plan was SO perfectly brilliant.

"Well, well, well," Sirius said, giving me and my skirt a quick look over. "I must say that you look rather unprudish today, Evans. Any special occasion?"

I cracked a grin, looking him straight in the eye. "Oh, fuck off, Black," I told him, my voice not wavering once as I swore. "I have a breakfast to attend to if you don't mind. Cheerio, darlings!"

Then I simply walked away, leaving two stunned gentlemen and another two gentlemen who were in complete hysterics, laughing as loudly as a couple of nutters in St. Mungos.

"It's a bet," said Grace as we walked away. "It's totally a bet."

I giggled a bit and flipped my hair again. My friends are so naive.

Later, Charms
Observant Lily: Day 2
Total Observations: 13
MISSON DE-PRUDING IS THE MOST BRILLIANT PLAN EVER

This day is by far the BEST, most BRILLANT day in my ENTIRE SHORT, BAD KARMA-FILLED, ADOLESCENT LIFE!!!!!

I mean, just with the whole good-hair/short-skirt/everyone-now-knowing-I'm-not-a-prude thing, I was already having a pretty decent, non-bad-karma-filled day, but now THIS? It's inconceivable. It's just that utterly brilliant.

Oh, dear. I do believe that all this excitement has caused a clot in one of my respiratory tubes. Yes, I do believe that I've currently stopped breathing. Oh, dear, indeed. I can't breathe and I can't talk and I can't do anything except smile BECAUSE I AM THE HAPPIEST PERSON ALIVE!!!!

Yes, THE happiest!

Have I mentioned before that I absolutely and completely LOVE Professor Lundi? Did I stress that point enough? Because I would literally kiss the ground he walks on if I wouldn't be stared at and teased about it (and plus, with my newly made short skirt, people would probably see my knickers, so not a good idea). I would donate my kidney for him. Honestly, I would. I could plan out a 6-step diet plan for him if he wants. I would pretty much do anything for that lovely, adorable man because HE HAS JUST DONE THE GREATEST THING EVER!!!

Not that he KNOWS he's done anything of the sort. In fact, no one except me knows what he has done, but that's quite all right. I'll eventually get around to writing what he's done just as soon as I can start breathing properly and can get Grace to stop throwing things at me. She wants to know what's going on as well. Emma has abandoned her very best friends of many, many years so that she may sit with Mr. Boyfriend-Who-Thinks-I've-Lost-My-Identity a few rows up. She has not turned around once to acknowledge her very best friends for many, many years, so she has yet to see my smiling-and-radiating-happiness self, so she has not asked about it as of yet.

All right. Breathing back to relatively normal. Now if I could just chuck this quill at just the right angle... there. Grace taken care of.

Okay, so here's the lowdown:

This morning, as I walked my unprudish self into the Ancient Runes classroom, I was all ready and confident to take my place two seats behind my potential husband- formally known as Amos Diggory, currently known as Sex God- and was more than prepared to go about during the entire class, flipping my good looking hair, smiling my make-up clad smile and overall being a total slag in the flirting department. It was new, but I knew I could do it. I had, after all, shared a dormitory with Elisabeth Saunders (the Queen of Flirting and Slagism) for seven years.

But I came to find that as I went to go take my usual seat two places behind my potential lover, that some one ELSE was already occupying said seat. It was in fact Penny O'Jean, who had purposely placed herself in MY seat so that she could sit next to her latest boy toy, Timmy Ricks, or as I like to call him, the Human Hyena.

"You don't mind, do you, Lily?" Penny had stopped her snogging to ask me in a very hopeful voice as I walked into the classroom. At first I was going to fight it. I was going to tell her to bugger off and snog with her boyfriend at some other time, but then my selfish side kicked in and I realised that the situation worked out much better for me anyway. You see, Penny O'Jean happens to usually sit in the seat conveniently located right next to my potential husband. RIGHT NEXT TO HIM! I wouldn't have to flirt over two other students' heads anymore! I'd be sitting RIGHT NEXT TO HIM! How lucky is THAT?

So of course I just smiled a bit and gave her a careless wave, telling her in an extremely nonchalant voice, "Of course not! I suppose I'll just take your seat then?"

She smiled and nodded, and then proceeded to continue snogging the Hyena's face off. In other circumstances, that probably would've completely grossed me out, causing me to take off house points for nauseating displays of public affection, but I was much too happy at my good fortune to do such a thing. So instead of doing that utterly prudish thing, I casually walked over to my new seat next to Amos and confidently placed my bum in the chair.

"Switching seats for a bit, eh?" Amos asked me, giving me one of those completely drool-worthy smiles.

I fought hard to keep my composure and shrugged with a smile of my own. "They asked, I consented." I told him. He smiled bit more and then gave me a curious look over. I very well could have said at that particular moment, "Yes, Amos, dear, my skirt is short and my shirt has one less button, please feel free to unleash your seventeen-year-old, male, pervy hormones and take a long look," but I didn't. Even if I had it wouldn't have mattered, though. Amos is far too much of a perfect gentleman to do such perverted things. This is why I love him.

"You look different," he told me.

I gave him a curious glance and then shrugged again. "Maybe I grew or something," I said.

Psh. Grew or something. I'm such a tease.

He nodded with a smile, and then the class began.

Throughout the entire class I subtly flirted with him. I'd flick my hair and flash him smiles and I even wrote my notes with my left hand so that we could 'casually' bump our arms together. It was completely ridiculous, yet at the same time, completely perfect. And do you know what else? That quill I gave him a few days ago, he still has it! And was USING it! Yes, USING! How brilliant is THAT? How brilliant was EVERYTHING?

But you know what? Sitting next to Amos wasn't even the most brilliant part! THAT part came next, just as class was ending.

"All right!" Professor Lundi had said, stepping away from the filled blackboard behind him and sitting himself down at his desk. "That's enough of that for today. I'd now like to start getting ready for that project I spoke about last class."

Uh, project? Last class? Er, didn't remember that.

"It's a simple project which we will work on over the course of the next two weeks," Lundi told us. "All that is required of you and your partner is to pick one of the passages in the back of your textbook, translate it, and then present it to the class. Your grades will be judged on accuracy, presentation and overall ability. Are there any questions?"

Hands flew up. Lundi called on the Hyena.

"Do we get to pick our partners?"

Lundi pondered this for a moment, taking a quick look around the classroom. He smiled and shook his head. "Let's make this simple." He glanced around the room again, his eyes lingering on me, and then onto Penny. "I see we've had a few seat changes, but nevertheless, we'll stick with your desk partners. Any problems there?"

Any problems? ANY PROBLEMS? I get to work with AMOS DIGGORY for TWO WHOLE WEEKS and he wants to know if there's a PROBLEM?!

I swear that I couldn't breathe. I was about to die of pure ecstasy. It was the single most wonderful moment of my life. Two weeks with Amos! Two! Can you believe it? Am I not THE luckiest human being on the planet? I mean, it was destiny! Now we'd get to spent lots of time together, and in that time Amos will have to discover that he's loved me as long as he's known me and then he'll propose right on the spot and we'll live happily ever after with two children and a dog in a house in the country.

Ah, perfection.

Observation #13) LILY EVANS IS THE LUCKEST GIRL TO EVER WALK THIS PLANET!!!!

Course of Action Taken: CELEBRATE!!!

Later, Defense Against the Dark Arts
Observant Lily: Day 2
Total Observations: 15
Mission De-Pruding Still Officially the Greatest

Oh, bugger. Emma is completely angry with me and I'm not really sure why. Maybe it's because of the whole Mission De-Pruding thing, or maybe it's because Grace and I were giggling about Project Amos after Charms and since she was off sitting with Mr. Mac, she didn't get to hear about it, or perhaps it's because I told Mr. Mac that his shoes looked a bit peculiar today, but whatever it was, I know she's angry at me now. Grace says it doesn't matter and that whatever it is, Emma will get over it, but I'm not so sure.

But you know what's really weird? Normally when Grace or Emma gets mad at me, I go crazy with anxiety, but right now, I'm still perfectly happy. This whole project thing with Amos has had an incredibly rewarding effect on my disposition. It's actually kind of funny.

Oh, goodness, I'm so pathetic.

Observation #15) Lily Evans is in serious jeopardy of losing a best friend. Not good.

Later, Hospital Wing
Observant Lily: Day 2
Total Observations: 17
Mission De-Pruding Continues

All right, all right. I'm perfectly aware that what I just did was a completely immature and childish thing to do. I'm also completely aware that because I had to go and act like a child, I have suffered the consequences. Blah, blah, blah. Why does everyone have to preach? It really wasn't that big of a deal. Psh. Some people these days.

Anyway, this is what happened. Grace and I were simply cleaning our disaster-of-a-dormitory, talking about Project Amos, giggling occasionally, and generally making an even bigger mess of our already disastrous dormitory. As had become the usual as of late, we had no idea where Emma was off to. We figured with Mac, as that had also become the usual as of late, but neither of us knew for certain.

"It's like something right out of one of these books," Grace told me, speaking of course of Project Amos, as she was cleaning out her romance book collection.

"Is it really?" I asked, truly not knowing because I refuse to read the trash.

Grace nodded, throwing one at me. "Like in that one," she says. "The heroine is completely inconspicuous to the hero, and then they're forced together when the hero gets hit by an Immobility Curse. Then the heroine is forced to spend all this time with him, nursing him back to health and then he falls in love with her."

I picked up the thrown book and glance at it, flipping it over in my hands. "Amos hasn't been hit by an Immobility Curse, though." I say.

Grace rolls her eyes and chucks another one at me. "You're missing the point."

I glance down at the trashy cover featuring a blond girl in a slaggish nurse's outfit and brown-haired boy lying in a hospital bed. That was SO not me and Amos.

"That's not me and Amos," I repeat out loud, throwing the book back at Grace. Suddenly-- and I don't know where in the world it came from-- a huge rush of giddiness crashed through my body and I started giggling like mad. I'm serious. Just all out laughing like a madwoman for no reason at all. "You are right about one thing though," I say, climbing up on top of my clothes-covered bed and standing upon it. "We ARE going to be spending time together, and he IS going to fall completely head-over-heels in love with me!"

Grace laughs and shakes her head, watching me stand atop my bed. "Whatever you say, Lily. Now get down from there. You're going to trip on all those clothes and kill yourself."

I laughed and of course ignored her. Instead of listening to her and getting down like a normal, civilized person, I started jumping like a hyperactive child.

"Lily!" Grace scolded in between laughs. "Stop that! Do you want to break the bed?"

"Who cares?" I laughed, still jumping, the large piles of clothes rubbing against my feet. "I get to work with Amos! He's going to fall in LOVE with me! He's going to-"

Just then my foot got caught in one of the many shirts littering my bed. I tried to keep my balance, but me being the huge klutz that I am, couldn't manage such a thing and with a yelp I slipped and went tumbling off my bed.

"You... idiot!" Grace said, cracking up. I was laughing too, but as I went to get up and regain my dignity, my ankle started throbbing painfully.

"Oh, shoo- shit," I said, looking at my swelling ankle. Grace was still cracking up beside me. "I...ow!... think it's twisted or-- Grace! Will you stop laughing and help me!"

Grace bent down to look at my ankle, still laughing. As soon as she touched it I instantly moved away, the throbbing increasing.

"You, stupid git," giggled Grace, placing my arm around her shoulders so that she could lift me up. "I think it's broken or something. We should get you to Madame Pomfrey."

"Broken?" I cried, looking down at my red ankle. It had begun swelling again and had started to resemble a large, red balloon. I couldn't help it, I started laughing again. I know it wasn't funny; in fact, my ankle was throbbing, and if I hadn't been so giddy, I probably would've been crying hysterically-- I'm a big baby when it comes to injuries-- but seeing as I was so flighty, I just continued to laugh and soon Grace joined in. We were crackling like hyenas as we hobbled down the girls' staircase, trying to get to the Hospital Wing. By the time we reached the Common Room, our noise had attracted nearly everyone and they all watched as I leaned on Grace, laughing and hobbling, and I think I was probably crying at that point too. When we were about to exit the portrait hole- me hobbling, laughing and crying, Grace just laughing- we were stopped by a group of people who had just entered.

"What are you two doing? Lily, why are you walking like that?"

Emma was staring at the both of us with a very scolding look. Beside her, Potter and Remus watched us as well. Grace was still cracking up and I was halfway between laughing and crying, so it took us a bit to calm down so that we could respond.

"We're heading to the Hospital Wing," Grace answered, her voice still heavy with giggles.

"Hospital Wing?" asked Remus. He glanced at me. "What'd you do?"

I motioned to my balloon-ankle. "'Reckon it's broken," I told him through my laughs and sobs.

"Broken?" asked Potter, looking at me with his first non-evil look all week. Well, other than that stunned look in the Great Hall this morning, but who could blame him then? "How?" he prodded.

The simple question set Grace off and she started laughing again. Emma was beginning to look more than a little angry, so I had to control my sobs/giggles and answer.

"Fell off my bed," I wheezed out, the pain in my ankle rising with each passing minute.

"Fell off your bed?" Emma asked suspiciously. "You broke your ankle that way? Your bed's, what, two feet off the floor?"

I was about to make up some excuse, but Grace found that moment an appropriate one to slightly regain her speech.

"Not while... not while she's jumping on it!"

I felt my face heat up and I glanced down at my swollen ankle. My giddiness from before gone, I prayed that the floor would just open up and swallow me whole. Why, oh why am I so immature?

"You were jumping on your bed?" Emma asked with a slight tone of disgust. This is how I know she is angry with me. Had she not been, she would have never used such a tone. "How old are you, Lily? Seven?"

My face flushed again. "It didn't seem like such a bad idea at the time," I muttered, still looking down at the floor. I knew Emma was about to say more, but my ankle started bursting with pain all of a sudden so I started gasping dramatically, trying to shove Grace out the portrait hole. Everyone seemed to get the point, and Potter and Emma moved out of the way so Grace and I could hobble through.

"Do you need any help?" asked Remus as Grace and I slowly passed him. Grace nodded through her still present giggles. I was still too mortified to say anything. Remus placed my other arm over his shoulder and we all continued hobbling out the portrait hole.

"Oh, wait!" I said, suddenly remembering something. I turned my head around to see Potter and Emma still standing behind us. Emma looked away, but Potter was still watching us, surprisingly still not glaring. "Tonight at eight, right?" I asked him, though it may have seemed a bit incoherent with the remains of my sobs and giggles still present. His head snapped back as if he'd just realised that I had been talking to him.

"What?" he asked, his voice full of confusion.

I fought back the urge to roll my eyes. "Tonight," I repeated. "Tutoring. Tonight at eight in the library."

"Are you even going to be able to make it up to the library?" Emma interrupted beside him. I considered glaring at her for a bit, but decided against it. It wouldn't do to make her angrier. Instead I just shrugged.

"I could, or I could die trying," I told her. This was yet another article of proof that Emma was angry. She knew as well as I did that Madame Pomfrey would have this thing fixed in a jiffy. She was deliberately trying to make me feel stupid. Psh! The nerve! I still continued to ignore her for that second though, and instead looked towards Potter again, still waiting for his answer.

"So, tonight?" I asked a third time.

Potter nodded.

"Tonight," he said.

I nodded back and then Grace, Remus, and I all hobbled up to the Hospital Wing, which is where I am now, "resting" as Madame Pomfrey had told me to do in between her preachings.

One thing's for sure, though.

I will NEVER jump on my bed again.

Observation #16) Childish things like jumping on your bed are dangerous and hazardous to one's health.

Observation #17) There are three very nice House Elves who work in the Hospital Wing, but although they say they are there to help and make you comfortable, they refuse to go sneak rice from the kitchen for patients who should be "resting". Bugger them.

Even Later, 7th Year Girls' Dormitory
Observant Lily: Day 2
Total Observations: 18
On forth with Mission De-Pruding

At promptly 8 o'clock, I slightly hobbled (Madame Pomfrey said it might be a bit awkward to walk on for a few hours) into the library, not at all intimidated by the thought of being tutored by Potter for an hour or so. You see, on my way to the library, I just HAPPEN to run into Amos, and NOT ONLY did he say hello, but he ALSO noticed my slightly hobbled step and asked what had happened (See? He cares!). I simply told him that I had broken it in an accident, and he flashed me that COMPLETELY lovely smile of his and told me to feel better, before walking off with the promise of an Ancient Runes get-together soon. So after that incredibly uplifting conversation, I was now back into my giddy state of this morning. So as I silently searched for Potter, I wasn't in the least bit apprehensible about this little rendezvous. Seriously. I mean, maybe he had gotten over the whole 'not noticing whatever I'm not noticing' thing. He wasn't glaring or making any faces at me this afternoon. It was possible. With that in mind, I continued searching.

I finally spotted him at the table we had used the last time. He was lounging back in his chair, reading some book. I hobble-walked over to him and plopped my bum into the chair across from him.

"Hello," I said with a smile. He glanced up at me over the top of his book.

"You're late," he told me coldly, closing his book slowly. Instantly all thoughts of him forgetting the whole 'not noticing' thing vanished. He's still mad. I take a curious glance at the clock on the wall. 8:14. Hm. Must have talked to Amos longer than I had expected.

"Sorry," I say with a shrug. "I had to hobble-walk from the Common Room."

"Hobble-walk?" he asked with a strange look. "What in the hell is a hobble-walk?"

"It's walking and hobbling at the same time," I told him simply. He rolls his eyes, but I ignore that and point down to my ankle. "Madame Pomfrey says it will probably be odd to walk on for a bit."

"All right, whatever," he says, still being his rude self. Even in my incredibly happy disposition, his madness starts to get to me.

"Honestly," I said in the sternest voice I could produce in my giddy state (not stern at all). "What is wrong with you? You don't have to be so rude to me, you know! It's not at all polite, the way you're acting!"

"As if you care how I act," Potter says, not even bothering to look at me. I let out an annoyed sigh and he looks up, glaring.

I take a deep breath, trying to ignore his comments and trying to keep my good mood intact. Think Amos, I say to myself. Think Amos and the Ancient Runes project. Hm. There. Paradise. "You know what?" I say, throwing him a smile. "Even though you're being an arsehole, I'm in far too much a good mood to care."

He lets out a snort. "Oh, goody, a good mood."

I sigh again, my good mood beginning to get threatened by his nasty comments again. "You know," I say, giving him a stern look. "Regardless of what you may think, I don't enjoy when people are angry with me-- even you-- and I don't enjoy when you glare at me and make faces and say nothing but completely rude and unnecessary comments!"

Potter looks at me curiously, obviously surprised at my quick change of attitude.

"And I know I missed something big and important," I continue, trying to keep my voice low and my temper under control. "I know you're mad at me because I didn't notice something, or do something, or something like that, but there is nothing I can do to change that, all right?"

We sit there for a moment, me trying to regain my giddiness of just a few minutes before, him watching me carefully, as if waiting for me to blow up. I could have, of course, with my temper being what it is, but I was determined to keep this confrontation a peaceful one.

Or as peaceful as you get when Potter and I are involved.

"You know," he says after a few moments, reclining back in his seat. "For someone who says she doesn't like when people are mad at her, you sure have a whole bunch that are."

I fought back the urge to glare hard at his smirking face. As much as I wish I didn't, I knew exactly what he's talking about.

"Emma?" I bite out with frustration.

He nods.

I could feel my temper rising higher and higher, but I fought hard to keep it calmed. This tutoring session was not going as I had expected it to.

"Do you people have meetings, or something?" I asked without thinking after I'd made sure my temper and glares were under control.

Potter threw me a curious face. "Meetings?" he asked.

"Meetings," I repeated, nodding my head. "You know, the We're-Mad-At-Lily-So-We're-Going-To-All-Go-And-Talk-About-Why-We're-Angry-With-Her Society? I mean, there's got to be one. Everyone seems to know why YOU'RE mad at me, and I think even Grace knows why Emma's mad at me, so there has to be some sort of explanation as to why everyone else knows and I don't, right? So why not a society?"

I knew I sounded crazy, but I was so far over my head with suppressed anger and frustration that I didn't even care that I was talking like a St. Mungo's escapee. I can't believe that Emma actually told Potter-- JAMES POTTER-- why she was mad at me. I mean, why would she tell HIM and not ME? Aren't I the one who has to fix whatever it is I'm doing? What does HE have to with ANYTHING? And Potter had a point, WHY was everyone suddenly mad at me? What was so completely wrong with me that I sprung out annoyance wherever I went? WHY CAN'T I JUST BE NORMAL LIKE EVERYONE ELSE??

I was so lost in my frustrations that I jumped when Potter spoke a few minutes later.

"No meetings," he said quietly, looking at me with a strange look for but a moment and then glancing away again. Then he reached for the Transfiguration book in front of me and started flipping through it. "Let's get started, shall we?"

I nodded, and we began the session.

We sat there for an hour or so, not talking unless absolutely necessary and only of Transfiguration. We didn't even look at each other all that much. I tried to digest as much information as I could, but my thoughts were still on our conversation before and I know his were as well. Not surprisingly, not much progress was made within the hour.

When I got back up to the Common Room, I went straight up to our dormitory. Emma wasn't there and Grace was asleep, a book lying on her stomach. I will have to question them both tomorrow.

Life is so complicated when you have societies hating you.