Swept From the Past

Chapter 56: The Emerald's Heart -- part nine

Burns fell backwards and landed on the Hogwarts' grounds as if she was dead. Severus' breathing had become erratic. He had to do something! Anything! Suddenly, the ropes on his limbs loosened. The pole behind him disappeared. He didn't know what had just happened, but he was free.

"Katarina!" he yelled. His voice had returned. Who had lifted the Silencing Charm?

Severus ran to Katarina. She appeared to be lifeless. Nooo! She couldn't be dead! He couldn't lose her again! He loved her too much to be separated from her again!

He knelt beside her and took her in his arms. The colour of her skin had returned to normal. Her scar had stopped bleeding, as if nothing had happened. Severus was confused. He placed his fingers on her neck to feel her pulse. But he felt nothing except that her skin was unusually cold. No heartbeat.

The Potions master leant over her face and kissed her frozen skin. He was desperate. He hadn't been able to save her! All his efforts and hopes had been destroyed. She had relived the day they'd been separated, and it had killed her! Grindelwald had used Katarina's worst memory to make her suffer a crisis. He had killed her with Severus' unwilling help! Tears pricked up the Potions master's eyes. Sorrow consumed him.

Then he felt something under his fingers. A weak pulse. Or was it his imagination? Severus didn't dare to hope. He stopped breathing. He stopped thinking. Then he felt it again. He gasped.

"You're still alive!" he whispered.

Still alive, but not for long. He had to do something immediately. He was the only one able to save her!

He lifted her in his arms and ran as fast as he could to the castle. People kept fighting all around, but Severus didn't care. Could he reach his quarters without being hit by a spell? The Potions master stumbled over the uneven soil and fell on his knees, using one hand to stop his fall. He was hurt, but he would not let go of Katarina for anything in the world. He got up and progressed quickly to the entrance doors. A red jet of light missed him when he entered the castle and hit the walls instead. Severus rushed over to the deserted staff room. Then he took a handful of Floo powder, threw it into the fireplace, and stepped into the green flames.

"Professor Snape's apartments!" he shouted.

He appeared in his quarters, hoping that no enemy was waiting for him. It was his only chance to save Katarina, and he didn't want to fail. He couldn't.

He laid Katarina on his bed, took a spare wand from his drawer, and uttered a spell to disconnect the Floo Network from his apartments. No one should enter to bother them. He quickly inspected his quarters and saw with relief that they were safe. The spell that protected his entrance door was intact.

Severus sat on the bed and checked Katarina's pulse. He caressed her face. Her heart beat very weakly and her skin was still frozen.

Severus pointed his wand at the fireplace.

"Incendio!" he exclaimed. Big flames rose, heating up the cold dungeons. But Severus knew that it wasn't enough. Once before, Dumbledore had used Flamma Dracontii, a very dangerous poison, to warm Katarina during a crisis. Severus had no intention of using such poison on her. He was almost sure it would kill her. He used a warming charm on her, hoping it would produce an effect. But her hands remained as cold as before.

'What can I do?' he thought. 'I must find a way to warm her up quickly or it will be too late!' Then he remembered. His contact. Only his contact would save her. He removed Katarina's cloak, rolled up her sleeves and chafed her arms.

'It won't work,' he thought, rubbing her cold skin. 'It won't be enough.' He sighed in desperation.

Then he made his decision. Katarina would be furious, but it was the only solution.

"I'll have to undress both of us, Kat," he said to comatose Katarina. "Don't worry, I won't remove our underwear. You're frozen and you need my heat to warm up. I promise I won't take advantage of the situation..." '...until you wake up,' he added in his head.

He pointed his wand at her and uttered a spell. Her clothes disappeared, leaving her only in black underwear.

Severus felt he was blushing. He had never seen her so exposed. Not that he hadn't imagined her in such attire... He gulped, silencing the Slytherin part in him. Only a sadistic bastard would take advantage of a beautiful sleeping woman. Suddenly, he became conscious that Katarina's hands were exposed too. He gasped, realising that he had forgotten to check her wrists. He'd clearly seen the silvery blood-stains on her scars. He took her hands and observed her wrists. They were intact. No blood. Had it been an illusion too?

Severus leant over Katarina and lifted her in his arms again. He raised up the blankets and laid her on the bed. Then he uttered a spell on himself, stripping down to his pants. He put his wand under his pillow and crawled between the sheets with her.

Her body was so frozen that Severus shivered. He placed himself under her so that his chest was in contact with her back. He thought the position was better to ease her breathing. He wound his arms around her waist and rubbed her skin, hoping that his contact would warm her up. It had to warm her up.

After several minutes, Severus realised that he needed to talk to Katarina. Could she hear him while she was unconscious? He didn't know. But he had to speak and tell her what he felt. If it was his last hours with her, he wanted to live them as intensely as possible. He didn't want to have regrets about this last moment of intimacy with Katarina.

"You keep scaring me, silly girl," he whispered in her ear. "Do you know the terror I've felt tonight? I forbid you to die. I forbid you to leave me again. I don't care if you hate when I give you orders. You'd better obey or we'll both end our lives miserable. Do you understand? I don't want to be miserable."

He kissed her shoulder. What if Katarina didn't survive? No! He wouldn't let her die! Never! The thought of losing Katarina so revolted Severus that he had to express his fear and anger.

"I'll never forgive you if you die," he hissed. "Do you hear me? Never. And I'll stop loving you. I promise I will, insufferable girl!" It wasn't true, but he wished his threat would make her wake up. "I'll even find another woman to replace you," he added. "Someone exactly like you, but kinder. And I'll make her very happy. So you'd better wake up or you'll lose me!"

He paused and sighed.

"Please wake up," he whispered. "Because we both know no one will ever be able to replace you, stubborn girl."

He closed his eyes. His heart tightened. He never thought it would end this way. That he would be lying almost naked in his bed with Katarina dying in his arms.

"How can you explain that we love each other so much but can't be together?" he said softly. "Why can't we have another chance?" He sighed again. "We could start everything from the beginning," he continued. "I'm ready to court you for months if you want. Whatever you want. All that I ask is a second chance. I'm so sorry for the pain I inflicted on you. You didn't deserve to suffer so much. Please wake up..."

Suddenly, there was a blinding flash of light in the room. Severus closed his eyes, then opened them again. He gasped.

Lord Grindelwald stood in front of Severus, a few meters from the bed. Severus could distinguish Grindelwald's features, but his body was translucent. He looked like a ghost. Severus felt terrified, furious and more revolted than ever. Had the Dark Mage come for Katarina? Did Grindelwald want to destroy her? His last contact with Katarina had almost killed her. The Potions master grabbed his wand and pointed it at Grindelwald. His left arm held Katarina's waist tighter.

"Don't approach," Severus snarled. "She's mine. Do you hear me? I love her. Go away! Haven't you made her suffer enough? I don't know what you are exactly, but I don't care! If you hurt her, I'll hunt you until the end of my life! I'll find a way to make you pay!" he exclaimed with rage. "She's mine!"

Grindelwald stared at Severus with an impassive expression. Then the Mage snapped his fingers. A Pensieve appeared at his side.

Severus raised an eyebrow. Why had the Mage summoned a Pensieve? What had he planned? The Potions master was ready to intervene when he realised his hand couldn't move. He was furious. His body seemed to be immobilised. Grindelwald's power prevented Severus from defending Katarina. What would the Mage do to her?

Grindelwald placed his hand above the surface of the Pensieve. Then he put his hand back on his chest and clenched his fist. His eyes closed. The surface of the Pensieve started to glitter. Suddenly, threads of silvery substance came out of the receptacle and wound above the Pensieve like little tornados, twisting into one larger thread. Grindelwald abruptly opened his hand, his palm facing Severus and Katarina. The thread flew to Katarina's head and entered her left temple. She moaned.

Severus hardly breathed. What did it mean? What had Grindelwald done to her? Was it dark magic? Would it hurt her? Or would it help her? It looked as if... the Dark Mage had given her a part of her memories back...

Soon, the thread disappeared entirely. The power that prevented Severus from moving stopped. His hand lowered.

"What did you do?" Severus asked the Mage. His voice quavered.

Grindelwald looked at him.

"Takkke cccare of herrr," the Mage whispered. "Protttect herrr."

'Pro...' Severus was speechless. Did it mean...?

Grindelwald stared at Katarina with a paternalist look and smiled.

"Youuu arrre freeed nowww," he whispered. "Beee happyyy."

He closed his eyes. His image disappeared in the air.

Had Grindelwald really asked Severus to take care of Katarina? So... Was Katarina... safe now? Freed? She would live? Severus was deeply relieved. And Katarina had got back some of her memories. Did it mean that there was hope for his relationship with her? His heart pounded in his chest.

"I promise I'll take care of you, Katarina," he whispered.

Severus put his wand back under his pillow. Slowly, he turned Katarina so that she was lying on her stomach and not on her back. He wanted her to face him when she woke up. Then he kissed her forehead and embraced her again. He kept thinking of the scene he had witnessed on the grounds. Of Katarina's pain. He realised how much she'd needed him. How much she still needed him, although she refused to admit it. She had chosen to have no love, no real husband, no children. She had given up on her life because she couldn't have Severus. As he had given up on his life because he couldn't have her.

"If only you knew, silly girl..." he murmured. He stared at her face, resting against his bare chest. She looked peaceful, as if she had never suffered. Severus had always loved seeing her sleep. It was the only moment when Katarina didn't reject him. When he could be with her without seeing a grimace of disdain on her face and the sad expression in her eyes. Now she was his. She needed his presence to heal. Severus could feel her skin warm up against his. He didn't want this moment to end.

Several long minutes later, Katarina stirred in her sleep and moaned. She would wake up. Severus gulped. How would she react? He didn't want to scare her. Knowing Burns, she would yell at him and try to escape as soon as she realised where she was and with whom. Severus observed her anxiously. Katarina opened her eyes slowly. Severus felt her body shiver. Her breathing accelerated.

"Where am I?" she exclaimed with a panicked voice.

"Shhhh, calm down!" Severus whispered. He held Katarina more firmly while she struggled against his embrace.

"Why am I almost naked?" she exclaimed again. Severus met her stare. She was terrified.

"Calm down, silly girl!" he replied. "We're in my quarters. You suffered a crisis. Your temperature had lowered dangerously. I had to do something to warm you up. I swear I didn't take advantage of the situation. Please calm down..."

"Leave me alone, bloody pervert!" she yelled.

"I saved your life!" Severus exclaimed.

"I didn't ask you to!" she replied. She kept breathing hard. Her body trembled.

"Shhh," Severus said. "It will be okay. You're safe with me."

"Bloody liar," Burns hissed. She kept struggling. "When I'll get my wand back, I'll hex off your bits!"

Severus growled. "If I'm a liar," he replied, "why did I carry you here? Do you think that Lucius Malfoy or any other Death Eater would have done the same? No. He would have let you die on the Hogwarts' grounds."

"It would have been better," she retorted.

Severus frowned. After tonight's events, he couldn't bear Katarina's response. His anger got the upper hand.

"I forbid you to say that!" he growled. He made Katarina roll on her side so that he was on top of her. He pinned her arms to the bed, preventing her from moving. "Never say it again," he threatened, looking her straight in the eye. "You have no idea of how much I care for you," he hissed. "I thought you had died! Do you know what it did to me? My sorrow? My despair? Never say that you should have died!"

Again, he could read the fear in her eyes. Immediately, he tried to soften his expression.

"I'm furious with you," he whispered under his breath. "I've spent the night trying to save your life. I've been terrified. Now I've had enough of being reasonable! My patience has reached its limits. How can you play with my heart like that?"

Guilt flashed in Katarina's eyes, but it didn't last. She frowned.

"Let me go," she said. "My crew needs my help. I must protect the castle."

She fought his embrace again, but Severus overpowered her easily. Burns appeared to be very tired. Severus was angry. Protect the castle again? Certainly not!

"No," he said firmly, gathering all his strength not to shout at her again. "You've done enough for the castle. You must rest now. Your crew can fight without your help."

"A Death Eater's plan," Katarina replied with a weak voice.

Stubborn girl. Fine. Severus had a naughty idea to make her shut up. He leant and kissed her shoulder.

"What are you doing?" Katarina exclaimed. Her voice quavered.

Severus looked at her and smirked. "I'll kiss you each time you speak rubbish," he said. "So go on. Speak rubbish."

"Bastard!" Burns swore. "I won't let you--"

"Tut tut," Severus interrupted, "language, Katarina!" He placed a long kiss on her neck. Katarina gasped.

"Anything else to say?" Severus asked.

Katarina didn't reply. She clenched her jaw and threw him a nasty stare.

Severus was pained to see her rejection. "Can't you imagine just for a minute that I really love you?" he asked.

A quick expression of sadness passed through her eyes.

"No," she responded. Emotion pierced her voice. She cleared her throat. Severus sighed. What did Katarina think? That he wouldn't notice this weakness? He, who was always on the lookout for any sign of interest from her. In other circumstances, the Potions master would have chuckled at her naivety.

"Bellatrix lied," he said. "The whole time."

Slowly, he released his grip on Burns' arms. Although he wouldn't let her go, he didn't want to hold her prisoner. He wanted her to trust him, not to have to restrain her by force.

"She tied me to a pole a few meters from you," the Potions master said softly, hoping that Katarina would listen to him. "She put a spell on you so that you couldn't see me. And she put a Silencing Charm on me. She wanted you to die with the conviction that I had used you. And she wanted me to witness everything." He paused. "It wasn't the first time. She's done that before."

Katarina's stare lowered and stopped. She looked at his throat with a shocked expression. She appeared to have stopped breathing. Her hand raised slowly to his Adam's Apple. When the tip of her fingers touched his skin, she drew back her hand as if she'd burnt herself. She looked away as if she was too ashamed of herself.

"What?" Severus asked.

Katarina closed her eyes and gulped. "You... have bruises," she said. She opened her eyes again. They were wet with tears.

Bruises? Then Severus understood. She had made those bruises when she had tried to strangle him. She felt responsible for his marks.

"Grindelwald made you do this," he said.

"No," Katarina replied. Her voice quavered. "He didn't ask me to. He said you had to leave. That I would destroy you if you didn't. It's me. Just me." She paused. "I took pleasure in it. I wanted to kill you. I could have..." She gasped. "If I hadn't..."

One tear leaked out from her eye. Severus brushed it with his hand.

"If you hadn't what?" he asked softly. "What made you stop?"

An awkward silence followed.

"Tell me," Severus insisted. "I want to know."

Katarina closed her eyes and swallowed. "Something... in your eyes," she responded. "Suddenly... I... I realised what I was doing..."

Severus knew it was difficult for her to admit it. And what were a few bruises compared to slit wrists? A part of him thought he had deserved such treatment.

"You were enraged and blinded by your desire for vengeance," he replied. "You were not yourself."

"I was mysel--" she responded.

"No," he interrupted. "The real you told me to go away. That you didn't want to kill me. And you stopped in time. Because you love me."

Katarina's features hardened a bit. She frowned. Her jaw clenched. "I don't want to have this conversation," she said. "I... I regret what I did to you. It doesn't mean that I trust you... or anything else..."

"Stubborn and proud," he whispered. "But give me a chance to win your trust back... and your love."

Severus grabbed his wand from under the pillow and pointed it at her face. Katarina gasped. Severus could see the fear in her eyes. She felt he was betraying her again. His heart tightened.

"No," he whispered, lowering his wand.

Katarina stared at him with a puzzled expression.

"I won't use Legilimency against your will," Severus said. "I won't do anything to you against your will. I want you to know the truth, but I won't force your mind to read mine. I won't force you to do anything."

He kissed her forehead. Katarina had suffered too much tonight. What he wanted didn't matter. She needed to rest and feel safe. Not to worry about Legilimency. How could she ever trust him again if he did things without her consent?

"I'll drink Veritaserum instead," he said softly. "And I'll reply to all your questions. Tomorrow. Now you must rest."

***

Burns was lying under Snape. She was so ashamed for the bruises on his neck that she hadn't been able to hold back her tears. Her common sense told her that Snape was a traitor who deserved to be strangled, but her shame was too strong. She hated what she had done to him. She didn't know how, but she remembered many memories of him... them... a long time ago. Memories of their kisses.

While she'd been asleep, she had felt a strange heat radiating around her. She had felt protected in this wonderful dream. But now, she realised it had been another illusion. Snape tried to win the advantage, mentioning her pseudo attachment to him. His pseudo attachment to her.

Snape grabbed his wand and pointed it at Burns' face. She felt scared and gasped. He would try to hurt her, to enter her mind as he had previously done. He would achieve his Death Eater's mission. Traitor...

"No," Snape whispered, lowering his wand. He took his wand in his other hand and placed it under his pillow.

Burns was surprised. What had he planned?

"I won't use Legilimency against your will," Snape said. He almost sounded sincere. "I won't do anything to you against your will. I want you to know the truth, but I won't force your mind to read mine. I won't force you to do anything."

He kissed her forehead. She let him do it. She didn't have strength to push him away. Something in his attitude told her that he wouldn't try anything. Or maybe she was just too tired to think clearly.

"I'll drink Veritaserum instead," he said softly. "And I'll reply to all your questions. Tomorrow. Now you must rest."

He put his arms around her waist.

"What...?" Burns asked, surprised by such embrace.

"Shhh," Snape replied.

He rolled on his side and brought her with him so that she was lying flat over him, her right cheek resting on his chest. He didn't loosen his hold. Burns was confused, but she didn't move away. She felt too exhausted. She placed her left hand on his torso and closed her eyes.

His chest smelled of cologne. She hadn't realised it until now. The fragrance was surprisingly appealing. But Snape had always had taste in perfume, although he'd never used fragrances himself. Burns was dumbfounded. Why had he worn cologne tonight? The aroma fitted him well. Both subtle and enticing. Like him. 'Enticing?' Burns exclaimed in her head. 'Maybe,' she admitted mentally. 'Yes. Definitely... Bloody hell...'

She could hear his heart beating. Had she ever been so close to him before? She didn't remember. She loved this sound. Without shifting her hand, Burns slowly caressed Snape's chest with her fingers.

Burns was in a second state. That heat surrounding her made her feel so safe. Snape's hand stroked her back softly. She wanted to be nowhere else.

'God, I love him,' she thought.

She opened her eyes suddenly and breathed with effort. No, she couldn't feel such feelings. It was wrong! It was...

Snape's embrace tightened.

"Calm down, Katarina," he whispered under his breath.

She should do something against those feelings. Anything. She felt she was about to fall in the void. She didn't know what to think or what to feel. The situation had to be cleared up right away, one way or another.

She raised her head. Snape was looking at her.

"Use Legilimency," she said abruptly.

"What?" Snape asked. He looked at her with a baffled expression.

"If you use Legilimency," she replied, "it will kill me. And if you don't use Legilimency, it will kill me too. I prefer to be killed with the truth. It will be quicker."

Snape smirked. He stared a her strangely. His eyes sparkled with a strange light. Trapped. He had trapped her and brought her to accept his devilish deal.

Burns snorted. "Finally, you got what you wanted, eh," she said sardonically.

Snape rolled on his side with her so that he was on top of her again. He looked at her with a devouring stare. Burns felt she melted under his gaze. She gulped.

"With luck," he replied silkily, "we'll both have what we want."

Burns didn't understand. What did he really want? To seduce her? Yes, clearly. But what for? She didn't trust him. How could she? He had a witty mind. He was a Slytherin. He had control over her. What was the challenge?

Snape slid his hand under the pillow and grabbed his wand.

"I'll show you what you have to see... and feel," he said. "And maybe you'll have a better opinion about me then."

'A better opinion?' Burns really doubted it.

He pointed his wand at her face.

"May I?" he asked.

Burns nodded. She knew it would hurt her, but she had to allow Snape to use Legilimency. Her feelings for him had to end.

"Look at me straight in the eye," Snape ordered.

Burns complied.

"Read my mind," he said softly. "Legilimens!"

Suddenly, the connection started. As Snape had requested, Burns entered his mind. Immediately, she was led to the memory Snape had chosen for her. It was... odd... She could feel a strange sensation on her face. A hard material covered her face. A mask. And Burns could see young Katarina through the eye holes in the mask. She recognised the alley where Katarina had been tortured. So... Burns was... in Snape's body, witnessing the whole scene as he had witnessed it? A feeling of horror overwhelmed her.

Katarina stood in front of the three Death Eaters. She was disarmed. Bellatrix had removed her mask and was staring at her with a sadistic smile.

"See what you have here, Severus!" Bellatrix said with a cruel laugh, her wand pointed at Katarina.

Burns' heart sank. She had the impression that the thing she had feared the most had happened. Witnessing the scene again was awful. Her heart was invaded by strong feelings of terror, anger, and despair.

"Come on, Severus," Bellatrix said, "take off your mask for the little girl ... I think you've been waiting for this moment for four years, haven't you? I guess it was unbearable to spend time with this filthy half-blood Gryffindor!!! You must have been sick each time you touched her!"

Snape made a few steps.

Burns saw and felt him remove his mask from her face... his face... The burning shame she felt was awful. Shame? But... It couldn't be...

Burns was confused. She couldn't place these feelings. Where did these sensations come from? Did witnessing the scene again produce new feelings? Discovering Snape was a Death Eater had never brought Burns shame. Feelings of despair, of anger, of betrayal, but no shame. No terror either. When Katarina had discovered the truth about Snape, she had stopped being terrified. She had wanted to die and stop that awful pain in her heart. So why did Burns feel terror and shame now? Why did she feel as if she'd been caught, trapped in a nightmare, having made the worst mistake of her life?

It couldn't be...

Katarina threw her engagement ring away. Her eyes shut. She hiccupped and moaned.

A strong urge surged through Burns' heart. If only she could rush over to Katarina and take her in her arms. But frustration rose up too. She could not intervene. It would be too dangerous. Where had these feeling come from? No, it couldn't be...

"By the way..." Blazy said, "it was a pleasure to kill your parents! I mean... your substitute parents, of course... Oh, I only killed your father. Claudius Snape took care of your mother. Burns, little bitch, look at me when I'm talking to you!" he exclaimed angrily.

So many emotions... Shame again... despair... and panic... What could be done to stall them? She needed to buy time.

"Don't forget the Dark Lord's instructions," Snape said. "He wants her powers, but not until they are mature!"

Burns felt as if the words were coming from her mouth. They were so controlled, compared to the terror Burns felt.

"That's true," Bellatrix replied. "And I'm sure they are now. I have a ritual to perform. Then you'll be authorized to kill her. Liga!" she exclaimed.

A few ropes came out from the wall behind Katarina and wound around her wrists and ankles. Katarina was tied to the wall, her arms up.

Bellatrix raised her wand. "Now, I'll take your powers," she said.

Burns felt panic. She felt her wand clench hard in her hand. She wanted to say anything to make Bellatrix change her mind.

"She doesn't have much power," Snape said. "I observed her and I can assure you her powers are not mature yet!" He laughed. "I even wonder how she managed to become an Auror!"

Burns had a heavy heart. She hated herself for uttering these words.

"She's too stupid for that," Bellatrix said. "Maybe she slept with Moody to complete her training?" She guffawed. "How easy it'd been for you to make her drink the Love Philtre," she continued. "She didn't notice anything! To marry a half-blood? That's disgusting! Tell the little girl what you think about creatures like her!"

Burns' jaw clenched. She swallowed the painful lump in her throat. She felt nauseous.

"They're disgusting," Snape replied.

Guilt and self-loathing welled up within Burns. She desired to attack Bellatrix and save Katarina, even if it meant losing her forever.

No, it was impossible... It couldn't be... These couldn't be Snape's feelings ...

Burns felt her hand clench her wand. Her hand raised.

Snape's wand came into view and was aimed at Bellatrix. Suddenly, an unexpected spell disarmed him, sending his wand away.

Burns gasped. The world seemed to collapse around her.

Snape hadn't lied...

Blazy had disarmed him. Burns could feel Blazy's wand pressed on her neck as it had been pressed on Snape's. She felt trapped, without hope. She felt helpless, forced to see something that revolted her. To see the person she loved being tortured in front of her. As Snape had seen the person he loved being tortured in front of him.

"I have always been suspicious about you," Blazy said softly in Snape's ear, "I was sure you had feelings for that girl. But today, she'll be tortured in front of you. Tortured until death."

Bellatrix tortured Katarina.

Terror, rage, desperation, and guilt all mingled in Burns' chest. Snape's feelings. He was horrified. The muscles in his cheek spasmed when Bellatrix cut Katarina. He could not accept that Bellatrix would practise the Cruciatus Curse on her. He wanted to suffer in her place.

"Now I'll practise the ritual, Burns," Bellatrix said. "But when it's ended, believe me, you will bleed!"

Snape closed his eyes. Burns stopped seeing what was going on.

"Potior--" Bellatrix said.

"Cessa!" Katarina's voice ordered.

Snape's eyes opened again. Burns felt his hope return.

Fear gripped Burns. Was Snape afraid of Katarina? No, he was scared for her. Afraid that she'd become a murderer because of him. He was terrified for her. For her...

"You may kill the bride," Katarina said, detaching her words. Then she laughed diabolically and Disapparated with a Crack.

Burns felt Katarina's words pierce her heart as it had pierced Snape's.

Snape knelt down on the ground and picked up Katarina's engagement ring. He closed his hand on the ring, brought it to his heart, and shut his eyes.

A flood of emotion washed over Burns. Hopelessness. Failure. Loss. Despair.

"You... and her...?" Bellatrix said. Snape stared at her. She looked dumbfounded, her eyes wide opened. "It was...?"

Snape raised his wand. "Stupefy!" he screamed. His attack knocked Bellatrix to the ground. He stood up. "Obliviate!" he exclaimed. The spell hit Bellatrix.

Burns' body was shaking. So Snape had told the truth. He had modified Bellatrix's memory for Katarina... To protect her... Burns could feel Snape's hate for Bellatrix... and for Sirius... Vengeance.

Snape raised his wand, ready to kill Bellatrix.

But suddenly, a horrible feeling invaded Burns. As if Snape had realised something had happened to Katarina. Burns felt his terror.

Snape Disapparated and Apparated to the street where they'd lived together, in front of a burning building.

So he had Apparated there? He had guessed that she was in danger?

"NO!!!" Snape screamed, running to the building. A man prevented him from approaching. Snape pushed the man away and yelled her name. Men disarmed him.

So... he had wanted to save her life? To enter the burning building?

"My fiancée is inside!" Snape bellowed. "Let me in!"

Burns could feel his rage and despair at not being able to save her.

"Sir," a man shouted. He shook Snape. "There's no one in the building! No one! We used the Viva Persona Circa Charm!"

"What?" Snape gasped. He stared at the building.

Burns felt a deep pain in her breast. Strong sorrow. Snape's sorrow. The realisation that the person he loved would never come back. Because of him.

Snape turned away and wandered aimlessly, without a thought to where he was going.

Burns felt he was completely lost.

He reached a deserted alley, fell on his knees on the hard ground, buried his face in his hands, and sobbed.

"She's dead..." he repeated. "She's dead... because of me... I killed her..."

Burns felt all that Snape had felt. Sorrow, anger, despair... And more than anything, she felt his love for her. This feeling was so strong that she couldn't deny it anymore. So strong that she was completely confused. What she had witnessed was the proof she had been mistaken about him for so many years. She couldn't bear it. She couldn't bear to feel that he really cared for her. After more than fifteen years of suffering, it was too much.

The eye contact was broken. Burns gasped violently. She was shocked. She had to go away from Snape immediately! It was too much! She tried to escape, but Snape embraced her with force. She breathed with effort.

"Calm down, Katarina," Snape said softly, maintaining her body against his.

Emotion overwhelmed her. She sobbed hard in his arms. Everything was too painful.

"I know," Snape whispered under his breath. "You're in shock. Just calm down."

"Leave me alone," Burns said, still crying. "I... I need to be alone!"

"No," Snape replied. "You need my presence. Now more than ever, stubborn girl. Don't tell me to leave, because I won't. I'm as obstinate as you."

Burns was so confused. She didn't understand why he was still here. Why hadn't he run away from her since the beginning of the year? Why hadn't he given up?

"Don't worry," Snape continued. "It will be okay. I knew it would be violent, but you had to see the truth. It was the only way for you to understand..."

Burns didn't reply. Her whole world had collapsed. She was still in shock. She couldn't stop her tears. She didn't want to talk. Just to stay in Snape's arms and try to sort out her feelings. Did Snape understand? Why didn't he say anything? But he didn't release her either.

Everything went too fast in Burns' head. For the second time, all that she believed in had collapsed. The life she'd thought was a lie was in fact the truth. She had lost all her landmarks. Who was she? She had changed so much. She had become someone else. What did she feel? Was she still able to love as before? After having given up on it for so long? Could she trust Snape again? Could he trust her? What if he hurt her again? What if she hurt him again? She could be so dangerous. So evil. Maybe it was too late for a second chance. What if she suddenly became insane and decided to kill him? No! She had to leave immediately! She refused to wound him again!

She panicked. Again, she tried to escape, but her efforts didn't work. She was too tired and Snape's grip was too strong. Burns' sobs doubled. Snape stroked the back of her head softly.

"Shhh," he said.

Burns felt both surprised and touched by his attitude. Why did he have to be so kind? She had tried to strangle him tonight. Yet he was taking care of her as if nothing had happened. In her confused life, he seemed to be the only thing that brought her safety. A part of her didn't want to give him up. Another part of her didn't want to stay with him if it meant hurting him.

What did she really want? What did her heart desire the most? Could she live without him now, knowing that they could have been together? And even if they were together, who said that it would work? What if they were even more miserable being together than being separated? And... why did she have to feel so good in Snape's arms? She was so scared to stay and discover that their story was meant to fail. But she didn't want to leave him either. It was too hard. She needed his presence more than anything.

Her eyes met his again. She could read his love... his hope. Then she made her decision...

***

Severus had used Legilimency on Katarina, making her see the truth. He'd felt her body tremble under his and her chest hiccup. He'd seen panic in her eyes, and confused feelings. Remorse and regrets, guilt, love, terror... the desire to run away from him as fast as possible.

She tried to escape. Severus couldn't let it happen. He embraced her with force and pinned her to the bed. Her body kept shivering. She breathed violently. Severus knew that learning that he really loved her had been a shock for her. But he was here now. He wouldn't let her face the truth alone. He would take care of her.

"Calm down," Severus said as tenderly as he could, maintaining her body against his.

She sobbed.

"I know," Severus whispered under his breath. "You're in shock. Just calm down."

"Leave me alone," Katarina said, still crying. "I... I need to be alone!"

"No," Severus replied. "You need my presence. Now more than ever, stubborn girl." He paused. "Don't worry," he continued. "It will be okay. I knew it would be violent, but you had to see the truth. It was the only way for you to understand..."

Katarina didn't reply. Severus didn't say anything either. Katarina had to sort out her feelings. Leaving her alone was out of the question, but he could give her time to think in silence. He knew she was very confused. She'd been so convinced that he had used her, and then she'd realised that he hadn't. Severus had hurt her again, but this time it was necessary. It was their only chance to be together again, and he wouldn't have let it go. Never.

Katarina was in panic. Again, she fought Severus' embrace, but he didn't release his grasp. Her sobs doubled. Severus stroked the back of her head softly.

"Shhh," he said. He didn't know what to say to release her from her pain. Words seemed useless now. But maybe his presence and care was all that Katarina needed. They stayed like that for a few minutes without saying or doing anything. Then their eyes met again. Katarina appeared to have made her decision.

"Use Legilimency," she whispered.

"What?" Severus asked. Did she want to enter his mind again? Or did she want to show him something? Severus was confused.

Her stare was insistent. Whatever she wanted, Severus had to give it to her.

Severus pointed his wand at her face and waited for a sign from Katarina. She nodded.

"Legilimens," he uttered.

Their eyes locked. Severus waited for her to come into his mind, but she didn't do anything. He realised she was inviting him into her own mind. He followed her where she wanted to lead him.

Severus was staring into the Mirror of Erised. In the mirror, he saw himself and Katarina. They stood in each other's arms and were kissing passionately as if they didn't want to be separated. As if they couldn't live without each other. He gasped. Katarina was pregnant.

He'd had no idea of what she had really seen in the mirror. Katarina had mentioned a kiss, but the whole thing had been nebulous. Now he had witnessed her deepest desire. No Alphonso or any other bastard. No Black. Just Severus and Katarina. And... Severus was in shock. Burns had never mentioned a child. Their child. He had given up, thinking it was too late. But Katarina still desired a family with him. A future... The second chance he had dreamt of...

The connection stopped, but they kept staring at each other. Severus hardly breathed, not wanting to spoil this moment. He feared something unexpected would happen and ruin his happiness. He lowered his wand slowly and placed it under the pillow.

"We... had a deal," Katarina murmured after an endless silence. "The... truth for me... The Mirror of Erised for you."

"The truth for both of us," Severus said softly. He wanted to kiss her but didn't dare to do it. The last thing he wanted was to scare her again. There was still fear in her eyes. Fear and love. But he didn't want to rush her and spoil everything.

Katarina seemed to understand that he wouldn't take the initiative of kissing her. She raised her hand and touched his face. Her tender touch made Severus' heart pound very fast in his chest.

"You're wounded," she whispered. An expression of shame passed through her eyes. Katarina probably thought that she was also responsible for this cut on his temple. She brushed his left temple with her fingers and caressed a lock of his hair at the same time. Then she lay her other hand on the nape of his neck. With a soft pressure, she invited him to lean in close. He obliged and stopped breathing in anticipation. She placed soft kisses on his temple and went down his face slowly. She ended on his neck, at the junction of his ear and his jawline. Her left hand played with his hair and dug in his scalp, while her right hand rubbed his shoulder blade.

Severus had no intention of stopping her. Now he would enjoy these caresses, not wondering if she would discover his mark or decide to kill him. There was no barrier between them.

Her lips traced a line under his jaw. He pulled his head backwards, allowing her better access to his Adam's apple. Her right hand went down too and rubbed the upper part of his chest. When her mouth went up his neck and ended on his chin, Severus didn't resist. He caught her lips with his and kissed her hungrily. He earned a moan from Katarina. She returned his passionate kiss and put both her arms around his back in a tightened embrace.

Severus thought his heart would explode. She hadn't pushed him away. More than that, she appeared not to want to let go of him. The Potions master knew she had missed him as much as he had missed her. He was delighted. Finally, he had won her back. Her hands danced in his hair and on his back, and his own hands did the same on her body. Severus and Katarina were together again. Severus stopped thinking. He got lost in the sensations of their kisses and caresses. It had been a long time since they had been so close to each other.

'You're mine,' he thought.

Slowly, he removed her bra. Suddenly, Katarina gasped and broke off the kiss. She removed her arms from his back and put them on her breasts, hiding them. She looked embarrassed.

"What?" Severus asked, surprised by her reaction. "Did I do something wrong."

Katarina closed her eyes with an expression of pain. Then she opened them again, but didn't look him straight in the eye.

"It... always happens when I suffer a crisis," she said. "I... have... marks on my left breast for a few weeks." She gulped.

"Marks?" Severus asked.

He raised an eyebrow. Of course, her energy blasting out of her heart must have consequences. He felt stupid. Why hadn't he thought of it? If he had known, he would have brewed a potion to make Katarina's pain cease and the marks disappear.

"What sort of marks?" he continued.

"Bruises," Katarina replied. "Violet skin. It's not... pretty."

Shame showed through her attitude and her voice. Severus realised Katarina must feel flawed.

"Let me see," he said softly, touching her hand placed on the wounded hidden area.

She shook her head.

"No," she replied. "I don't want you to see that. It's ugly. I... feel like a monster."

"But you're not a monster, silly girl," Severus whispered under his breath. He put his hand under her chin and raised her face to look at her in the eye. "I'll always find you beautiful. Believe me, I won't be bothered by a few bruises. Or by a scar on your cheek." He paused. "I really don't care," he said. "I myself have a few ugly scars. Will it make a difference for you?"

"No," Katarina whispered. "But..."

"Don't you trust me?" Severus asked.

He could read her emotions... her hesitation. A part of her trusted him, but another part was still terrified.

He caressed her cheek.

"I love you, Kat," he said. He wanted her to believe him and stop being scared. He hoped that she would respond that she loved him too.

Katarina opened her mouth as if she would reply, but she didn't say anything. Severus could read the words in her eyes, but she didn't utter them. She gulped.

'It's too early,' he thought. 'She needs time...'

He put his hands onto her trembling arms and made them slide slowly, revealing her breasts. Katarina let him do it while she closed her eyes. Severus looked at her breasts and raised an eyebrow. He had expected to see purple bruises, but there was nothing. Her left breast was intact. Again, seeing Katarina so exposed made Severus blush. He wanted to kiss her again and see where things would lead.

"No bruises," he said. "Perfect skin."

Katarina opened her eyes.

"What?" she asked. She looked surprised. "How is it possible? It's always... ugly after a crisis. And this crisis was my worst. I don't understand..."

"Is there need to?" Severus asked. "Because I'd like to continue what we started." He smirked and kissed her neck. "Any objections?"

"I... I have never..." Katarina said.

Severus chuckled. "I know, silly girl," he replied. "We're equal on this point."

"Equal?" she asked. Severus looked at her. She didn't believe him.

The Potions master frowned. "There was no other woman," he hissed. "And do not dare to call me a liar, stubborn girl! Because I can't bear it anym--"

Katarina placed her fingers on his mouth. He stopped talking. He read in her eyes that she didn't want to quarrel anymore. And... that she wanted their relationship to go further. He raised an eyebrow, surprised and interested by her silent suggestion. She brushed his lips with her fingers and guided his hand on her breast with her other hand. He could feel her heart beating very fast under his fingers.

"Kiss me," she whispered.

***

Katarina Burns didn't believe Snape when he said he was still a virgin, but he looked hurt that she mistrusted him. And she didn't want to hurt him or quarrel with him. She brushed his lips with her fingers, preventing him from talking, and guided his hand on her breast with her other hand. Snape wasn't the only one who wanted to continue what they had started. Katarina was anxious, but she knew the moment had come.

'No regrets,' she thought. 'We've waited long enough.'

"Kiss me," she whispered.

Snape's upper lip curled. A naughty light sparkled in his eyes.

"Finally," he said. "You're becoming reasonable."

"Slytherin," Katarina said. But for once, it didn't bother her.

Snape leant over her and kissed her softly. She had missed this sensation. She had missed him. Again, she put her arms around his neck and squeezed him in her arms. She didn't want to let him go. Never. She dug her fingers in his hair and deepened the kiss. He growled in appreciation. Then everything got confused in her mind. She stopped thinking and started feeling. She was thirsty for him and couldn't restrain her desire. Soon, they removed the last of their garments. When the crucial moment came, Katarina was in a strange state. Her senses were animated... heightened. Her breath accelerated. Was her blood boiling? She felt so safe in Snape's arms... Severus' arms... She could feel magic in her... around her...

She felt deeply connected to him as she had never been before. She felt complete. She brushed the curtain of hair that had fallen on his face and smiled tenderly. It had been a long time since she felt this happy. If it was a dream, she didn't want to wake up anymore. A green energy spread around Severus and her. She didn't know where the energy came from or why it had appeared, but she didn't care. She squeezed Severus tighter in her arms.

"Never leave me again," Severus whispered between kisses.

'Never,' she thought, although she didn't utter anything.

Then she kissed him passionately, losing herself in him.

***

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Author notes:

Thanks to Zeenzette, Be Cunning, Lady Claire, sevysgalypaly123, BlueMoon71, Dfpy737 for your reviews! Sorry it took me a bit long to update, but I was really busy with my university work. Comments for you in the review thread for Chapter 56!

PLEASE REVIEW!!!

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