Swept From the Past

Chapter 17: Lupin's spell - part two

Harry was still shocked by what he had seen. He stood motionless, near Hagrid's hut.

"Harry?" Hermione asked gently. She put a hand on his shoulder. "Are you all right?"

Harry stared at her. He didn't utter a word.

"Harry?" she repeated.

"I... must see Lupin," Harry said.

"Harry, you can't see him," Hermione responded. "He's a werewolf!"

"I MUST SEE LUPIN!" Harry yelled. He felt tears coming to his eyes. He felt as if he'd lost Sirius a second time. That was too much for him.

Dumbledore went close to him.

"Harry," he said softly.

"I want to see Lupin," Harry repeated, sobbing. "I won't leave before I see him. I don't care if he's a werewolf. I must see him."

Dumbledore didn't reply right away. He stared at Harry. The Headmaster was probably thinking of a way to dissuade him. But this time, Harry wouldn't give up. Dumbledore considered him for a minute.

"All right, Harry," he said. "But you must promise not to approach the cage. It could be very dangerous."

"Yes," Harry replied. He was exhausted. Mentally exhausted. Lupin was alive. But Harry couldn't find it in his heart to be pleased. The Death Eaters had made Lupin into a monster. It had been terrifying to see him that way. Really terrifying. Much more than the first time Lupin had transformed into a werewolf.

"Look at the door!" Harry heard Ron exclaim. He turned back. The door to Hagrid's hut had been badly scratched. Lupin had lacerated the door. A few shreds of wood had fallen on the ground. The door would not have resisted for long.

"Hagrid," Dumbledore said, "please lead the students into the castle. Professor Snape, Harry, come with me."

Harry and Snape followed Dumbledore. Harry looked at Snape. His features were strained. His jaws clenched. Was it fury or despair? Or both? Harry could hardly feel pity for Snape. He had tried to kill Lupin. And if he had tried to kill Burns too, he deserved her disdain. Her hate.

Dumbledore headed in the direction of the Hospital Wing. Harry could hear loud growls coming from the infirmary.

"Stay here," Dumbledore ordered Harry when they entered the Hospital Wing.

"But--" Harry exclaimed.

"I have to see him first," Dumbledore said. "Then you will come."

Harry sat on a chair. He didn't have the strength to refuse anyway. Snape followed the Headmaster. Soon Professor McGonagall entered and joined them. Harry could hear them speak.

"What does he have, Poppy?" Professor McGonagall asked.

"I don't know," the nurse replied. "But I don't think I can do anything for him tonight. It's the full moon!"

The Hospital Wing's door opened. Professor Burns entered. Her left leg still bled. She limped. Harry stood up.

"Professor Burns," he said awkwardly. He didn't know how to thank her. "I--"

"Yeah," Professor Burns interrupted. She didn't even look at him. "Come with me, Potter."

Harry stopped speaking and followed Burns into the room. Lupin's cage lay in the middle of the room. Lupin was still imprisoned inside. The werewolf walked back and forth. He howled.

Harry gasped. All the teachers turned to face him.

"Professor Burns!" McGonagall exclaimed. She looked angry. "Why did you bring Potter here?"

Burns didn't reply. She went to the cage and stood in front of Lupin, motionless.

"Professor Burns!" McGonagall barked again.

Burns turned to face McGonagall. Her lip curled up. She laughed devilishly. Except Dumbledore, all the teachers looked amazed. But that was nothing compared to what Harry felt. He was really dazed.

"Oh, my God!" Madam Pomfrey shrieked. "You are injured!" She made a few steps forward. However, the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher gave an irate wave of her arm. Madam Pomfrey couldn't move closer. She seemed to be repulsed by Burns by a spell.

"Who cares," Burns simply replied. She turned back to Lupin. He growled more fiercely than ever.

"That's the blood, right?" Burns asked Lupin. "You're hungry. They probably didn't feed you for the last two weeks. I'll find you something to eat. Or someone, if you want. If I find Pettigrew, I'll give him to you."

Harry's eyes flew open. Would she really give Pettigrew to Lupin? For dinner?

Burns paused. She snorted. "No, you probably won't be delighted. You'll taste his flesh, you'll devour him. And then you'll regret it for your whole life. Kind little Remus. You've always been too kind. Don't you think so, Sirius?"

Sirius? Harry remembered what Hermione had told him. The memory of his death was too painful. Harry's eyes pricked with moisture.

"Professor Burns," Dumbledore said.

"Shhh," Burns whispered. "Don't you hear the music?" Her body swayed slowly. A slight, blue light emerged from her progressively. She giggled. "Delicious little notes; music of heaven," she said in a high-pitched voice. She hummed a song.

Harry feared Burns was insane. Dumbledore had a placid expression on his face, contrary to the other teachers. Snape hardly breathed. He looked really afflicted.

Burns tittered. "But it was just music of hell," she continued. "Delicious and poisonous music of hell. Won't we have a little dance, my Love?" Burns shut her eyes. She raised her arms as if she danced with someone. She turned around, still limping, and kept laughing diabolically. "Just one dance," she continued, "and I promise I'll leave you alone."

She started dancing slowly, her eyes shut, but she stumbled after a step or two. Her injured leg gave out from under her, and she lost her balance. Snape hurled himself in her path to prevent her from falling. He lifted her in his arms carefully.

"Put her on a bed, Severus," Madam Pomfrey ordered. Snape laid Burns on the farthest bed from the cage.

"She needs immediate attention," the nurse said. She opened one of the big medicine cabinets and took bandages and ointments.

"I hope this filthy werewolf didn't bite her!" Snape hissed.

"Don't talk about Lupin!" Harry barked.

"Shut up, Potter!" Snape bellowed. "If Lupin bit her, I'll kill him! I'll make him regret it!" Snape seemed beyond reason.

"Severus!" Dumbledore snapped. "That's enough."

Snape stared at the Headmaster. His lips were sealed in a thin line. Burns groaned. Snape turned back to her. Her eyes were still shut. The Potions master knelt down beside her. He removed her gloves and seized her left hand in both his hands. He looked really affected by what had happened. But it was not the first time Harry saw him so concerned about Burns.

"Headmaster," Snape said without looking at him, "please take Potter away from her." He looked tired out.

Harry felt infuriated. He wanted to know what had happened to Lupin!

Dumbledore considered Snape for several minutes. Then he closed the curtains around Burns' bed. The Potions master disappeared from view.

"Harry," Dumbledore said. He sighed. "Remus is ill. You saw it yourself. I think you should go back to your dormitories. We will not know more before tomorrow. I will tell you if we learn something."

"But--" Harry said.

"This is not the time," Dumbledore replied gently. "You can come back tomorrow, or any other day."

"I'll bring you back to your common room, Potter," Professor McGonagall said.

Harry followed McGonagall without a word. He swore he would come back tomorrow.

***

Severus was still in the Hospital Wing at Burns' sides. She was asleep. He sighed deeply. Madam Pomfrey told him Burns hadn't been bitten. The nurse had cleaned her injuries and bandaged her leg. The wound was deep. But Madam Pomfrey's remedies were effective. She had applied the ointment in time. Burns wouldn't be scarred.

Lupin was still trapped in his cage. Dumbledore had uttered a Silencing Spell on him after Potter left. The Headmaster hadn't wanted the werewolf to wake Burns up. Severus was glad Dumbledore did it. She needed rest. Madam Pomfrey had put a strong Sleeping Brew in Lupin's food. After ten minutes, he had stopped biting himself, and had fallen into slumber.

Severus felt miserable. Burns refused to understand. She refused to see the truth, to understand he had done it for her. And again, he had made a mistake. The werewolf was about to jump on them. On her. In other circumstances, Severus would have probably enjoyed using the Killing Curse on Lupin. But now that Burns had come back, he would have never dared to hurt Lupin in front of her. He knew what the werewolf represented for her. However, he didn't have a choice. She was injured. He had just wanted to protect her.

Severus was deep in thought. He hadn't moved for hours. He kept staring at her. He hadn't let go of her hand. He feared she would have another crisis. He heard the rustling of the curtains. He turned his head. Dumbledore had entered the temporary private room where Severus and Burns were.

"How is she doing, Severus?" the Headmaster asked.

"Still asleep," Severus said.

"That is not surprising," Dumbledore replied. "Her spells have exhausted her. Doing wandless magic is tiring, especially with that kind of spell. And especially from someone who is already in frail health."

"Headmaster," Severus uttered, "I remember what you said not long ago. That her power is proportionate to her pain." He paused. "The day she learnt Lupin had been captured, I used Occlumency on her..."

Dumbledore raised an eyebrow. "You did not have the right to do that Severus," he said reproachfully.

"...I have felt her pain," Severus continued. He didn't want moral lessons. Not now. Dumbledore stared at him. He seemed to understand.

"And?" the Headmaster asked finally.

"I am not surprised that she is so powerful," Severus responded with bitterness. He kept silent. He didn't want to speak to Dumbledore anymore. He just wanted to stay alone with Katarina. Dumbledore seemed to notice.

"I will come back later," the Headmaster said. He moved the curtains to leave and closed them behind him.

Severus was thinking. Yes, Katarina... No, Burns... Burns was powerful. But power had a price. The more Burns was infuriated, the more she freed her power. And her power was linked to her vital energy. All the warmth of her body went away. When her temperature was too low, Burns had a crisis. Severus was aware that if it continued, one day she would die.

Today, she had wasted a lot of energy. And Severus didn't want her to die. Burns' hand was warm in his for the moment. But what would happen in a few hours? When she would wake up? When she would fight again? Severus caressed her left hand. He turned its palm up and looked at the scar engraved in her flesh. So that was what happened when she managed to escape. After she killed Blazy. She had been so shocked, so despaired, that she slit her wrists. And then, Black had found her. Severus frowned. Rescuer Black, her white knight on his fiery steed. Severus sniffed. He had a heavy heart. He bent his head. He kissed the hollow of her wrist tenderly and continued along her scar.

She would kill him if she woke up at that very moment. She had been waiting for an occasion to do it. But kissing her hand was too tempting. The previous time he had observed her sleeping, he hadn't dared to approach her. He hadn't dared to touch her. Now, he was close to her. He wanted to feel her skin under his lips. He felt as if his kisses had the power to cure her. To make her scar disappear. To erase the pain he had inflicted upon her.

She had thought him the villain. She thought Black was a hero. And she thought Severus was an awful man. The man who had wanted to kill her two days before her wedding. Black was an impostor. He had never loved her like Severus did. No one could ever love her like he did. But how to make her understand? She had hated him for fifteen years. And he kept thinking of her for fifteen years.

Burns moaned in her sleep. An expression of pain appeared on her features. "Remus," she murmured. Severus raised an eyebrow. Remus? An idea crossed his mind. A hero... Burns would have done anything to save Lupin. That meant she cared for him. He was probably the only one still able to move her. And Lupin was very ill. She couldn't do anything for him. But Severus had skills in Potions. He was more talented than most of people. Burns knew he hated Lupin. What if Severus managed to cure him? Maybe that was the only way to make her understand? She would probably not forgive him for his previous mistakes. But couldn't it be a start?

Severus knew it wouldn't be easy. He feared Lupin would stay a werewolf after the full moon. He wouldn't have bothered about him in other circumstances. But he was ready to do anything for her. Nothing counted but her.

***

A few days later, Harry entered Dumbledore's office. He was apprehensive. He had visited Lupin often over the last few days. Lupin... as a werewolf. The full moon was over, but he hadn't turned back into a man. Harry was really worried.

The day after the full moon, Dumbledore had decided Lupin couldn't stay in the Hospital Wing. The Headmaster had said it could be dangerous for the students. Lupin's cage had been shifted to the Shrieking Shack. The Whomping Willow would protect the entrance. Harry realised Dumbledore was right. Lupin was dangerous. Madam Pomfrey warned Harry not to approach the cage. Although Harry knew the werewolf was Lupin, he would never come close. Lupin growled menacingly. The nurse gave the werewolf something to calm him. She said it was too early to know what Lupin suffered from.

"Harry," the Headmaster said. "Please, sit down."

Harry sat on a chair in front of Dumbledore's desk. Dumbledore sat too. The Headmaster looked tired.

"As I promised," Dumbledore said, "I will tell you what we learnt about Remus. A few healers came from St. Mungo's to see him." Dumbledore sighed. "I have bad news, Harry."

Harry swallowed. What would Dumbledore say? He clenched his fists.

"This is the first time they have seen such symptoms," the Headmaster continued. "They detected something strange in his blood. Remus' disease has been stimulated. Now... he is more a werewolf than a human. And he is stronger than other werewolves. The Death Eaters made him take something that increased his instincts and his strengths."

Harry grimaced. He choked back his tears. That was unfair. "Does it mean..." Harry asked with effort, "that Lupin will stay a werewolf forever?"

"Well," Dumbledore replied, "I will not lie to you, Harry. We do not know."

Harry closed his eyes. Sirius' death was too recent. Harry had clung to Lupin. And now... he lost him. It seemed that he was meant to lose all the people he loved. Voldemort destroyed everyone around Harry. Someone had surely informed Voldemort well.

"Pettigrew told him!" Harry said. "He told Voldemort Lupin was friends with my parents! That he would care about me after Sirius' death! That's why they kidnapped Lupin!" he exclaimed. He felt enraged.

Dumbledore sighed again. "Probably," he replied. "But you are not responsible for that."

"I'll make Pettigrew pay!" Harry shouted. "He betrayed my parents! Sirius went to Azkaban because of him! And then he was killed!"

"You have the right to be angry, Harry," the Headmaster replied softly. "But you will not make Pettigrew pay. You will not be the instrument of justice. Pettigrew will be punished, but not by you."

"Maybe not Pettigrew!" Harry yelled, "But I will make Voldemort pay! How many people died because of him? HOW MANY WERE TORTURED?" Harry couldn't bear it anymore. He turned away to hide his tears.

Dumbledore stood up and moved close to Harry. He put his right hand on Harry's left shoulder. Harry kept silent for a few minutes. He felt guilty for all that happened. Like last year, when he had felt he was a snake. He felt as if he had tortured Lupin himself.

"I know," the Headmaster said simply. "You have a heavy burden on your shoulders. I wish you would not have to bear all of this. But you are not responsible for that. Sometimes bad things happen to nice people." He paused. Harry felt Dumbledore was ill at ease.

"We do not know if Remus can be cured," the Headmaster continued, "but we will do anything to help him. He will stay in the Shrieking Shack for the moment. I spoke with Professor Burns about it. She said she didn't want him to be taken to St. Mungo's. She thought he could be in danger there. The Death Eaters could attack the hospital. I agreed. Professor Burns arranged everything. A team of healers will stay here to take care of him."

Harry raised his head. He swallowed his tears. "Professor Burns?" he asked.

"She wanted Remus to have the best care possible," Dumbledore replied. He smiled slightly.

"She saved his life," Harry said. "Snape wanted to kill him!" He exclaimed furiously.

"Professor Snape," Dumbledore corrected. "Remember how dangerous Remus was? Professor Snape and Professor Burns were outside in front of Remus. Professor Snape did not realise what it meant. I know he regrets."

"Snape doesn't regret anything," Harry snorted.

"Professor Snape," the Headmaster corrected again. He raised an eyebrow. "I assure you he regrets."

Harry knew Snape regretted because of Burns. For the last few days, he replaced her in the Defence Against the Dark Arts class. He said Professor Burns would come back in several days. Contrary to what he did when he replaced Lupin in third year, he never criticised Burns' teaching methods. Harry had noticed Snape didn't come to the Great Hall for dinner anymore. Where was he? Probably in the Hospital Wing. Harry had seen him once, when he was visiting Lupin before the werewolf was taken to the Shrieking Shack.

"Why was Professor Burns so strange in the Hospital Wing?" Harry asked. A line appeared on Dumbledore's forehead.

"Professor Burns was shocked to see Remus that way," the Headmaster replied. "They were very close when they were young. Katarina and Remus were only children. They were neighbours. I guess that they were like brother and sister."

"Why didn't Lupin tell me?" Harry asked. He didn't understand why Lupin had never mentioned anything.

"Professor Burns changed a lot since," Dumbledore replied. "And Remus is rather secretive. It was something personal."

"Why did she mention Sirius?" Harry questioned.

Dumbledore cleared his throat. He looked awkward. "As I said," he responded, "she was shocked to see Remus that way. She knows about Sirius' death. She was delirious. Do not forget Professor Burns was deeply injured. She probably had hallucinations."

"But she knew Sirius?" Harry asked. Of course, Harry knew she did. But he wanted to know what Dumbledore would say.

"Harry," Dumbledore replied, "she was in Gryffindor the same year as Sirius. But I do not want you to go and ask her anything about her school years. It would be too painful for her to speak about that."

"All right," Harry responded finally. He didn't want to hurt Professor Burns. Harry had often felt mad at her because of all her secrets. But now, he felt very grateful to her. Although she had changed a lot, she had never betrayed her friends. And for Harry, that had value. Dark Sorceress or not, it didn't matter. She had saved his life and Lupin's.

***

Severus came to the Hospital Wing to take care of Professor Burns. But when he entered the room, he saw she was about to leave. She had stood up and gathered her personal effects in a suitcase.

"You must take rest!" Severus shouted. "You are still too weak!"

"Weak?" Burns yelled. "I am not weak! I am powerful! Do you want to duel with me to check?"

"I don't want to fight with you!" Severus hissed. "As I said, I want you to take rest!"

Burns snorted. "So you can take over my job!" she replied. "Very clever, Snivellus!"

"I don't want your job!" Severus shouted. "And stop calling me that stupid name!"

"I don't believe you, Cretinus!" Burns replied.

"You are really insufferable!" he snapped. He had enough. He was exhausted. He spent his days teaching Potions and Defence Against the Dark Arts. And he spent his nights watching over her, although his arm hurt. He only slept a few hours and drank a few potions to stay awake. Suddenly, he took the empty glass from her bedside table and threw it violently on the floor.

Madam Pomfrey arrived. Severus noticed her presence. He straightened up.

"Madam Pomfrey," Severus said.

The nurse looked at the bits of the glass scattered on the floor. She stared at Burns reproachfully. "You are in the Hospital Wing!" she exclaimed. "A place where people are cured. Violence isn't tolerated!"

"I didn't do it," Burns replied coldly. Madam Pomfrey turned to Severus. The Potions master was awkward.

"I apologise," Severus said. "I'm tired. I lost my self-control. But it wouldn't have happened if Professor Burns was less stubborn!" he whispered under his breath, looking at Burns.

Burns threw him a cross stare.

"Professor Burns," the nurse said, "Severus was worried about you. He spent the last few nights watching over you."

Severus felt awkward. Hearing Madam Pomfrey say he cared for someone made him feel ill at ease. But the nurse had seen him watching over Burns every night. And Burns had to know he cared for her. She had to hear it from someone else, not him. Severus cleared his throat and looked away.

"I didn't ask him for anything," Burns snapped. "And he probably tried to poison me anyway."

Severus was shocked. "Never!" he exclaimed.

Madam Pomfrey rolled her eyes and left.

Burns didn't reply. She took her suitcase, and made a few steps to leave. She limped. Severus took his wand from his robes. He pointed it to her.

"Don't move!" he ordered.

Burns stopped. She turned back and stared at him. "You want to end what you've started, eh?" she asked.

"No," Severus hissed. "I want you to go back to bed. Madam Pomfrey says your leg isn't cured yet. Believe me, if I have to make you drink a Sleeping Brew to keep you here, I'll do it!"

"Cretin!" Burns replied. "I don't need to move to leave the Hospital Wing. I can Disapparate whenever I want!" She snapped her fingers. Nothing happened. She looked puzzled. She tried again and again. But it didn't work.

Severus' lips curled up. Burns always thought she was stronger than everyone. But now, he was stronger than her.

"It's you, bloody git!" Burns snarled. "What did you do to me?"

"Madam Pomfrey made you drink a little concoction of my own," Severus responded coolly. "Something that will ensure that you rest. Something which will limit your powers for a few days. I knew you would refuse to stay here. You didn't think I would let you go, all the same?" He looked mockingly at her. "Now, go back to bed. And that's not a request. That's an order."

Severus was pleased to command, to take the advantage back. For the next few days, Burns would need a wand to use magic, like everyone else. And Madam Pomfrey kept Burns' wand. Severus had remembered the little duelling demonstration they had done at the beginning of the year. He had asked the nurse to check if Burns had a second wand on her. But she hadn't.

Burns' eyes flashed. "I refuse to obey," she said.

"So I think I'll have to use the Imperious Curse on you," Severus said. He was delighted.

Burns snorted. "It's forbidden to use this curse, Snivellus," she said.

"Of course it's forbidden!" Severus hissed, his upper lip curled. "That's what people call a 'forbidden curse'," he said slowly, exactly like she had done in class.

Burns bit her lower lip. "You are an awful prat, Snivellus," she snapped. "A conceited, awful prat with greasy hair. A bad kisser, moreover. Not in the same category as Sirius."

Severus scowled. Black again? That comment hurt. His jaws clenched. "Silencio!" he hissed. The spell touched Burns. Her mouth moved, forming inaudible words.

"Go back to bed, Katarina," Severus breathed angrily. "You know I'll use the Imperious Curse on you, if you force me."

Burns threw him a murderous stare. She continued moving her lips, silently mouthing her insults. He made a movement of irritation with his wand. "Quick!" he whispered under his breath.

Burns finally obeyed and went back to bed. She lifted the middle finger of her right hand to him.

Severus' eyebrows arched disapprovingly. "That's very rude, Katarina," he hissed.

Burns raised the middle finger of her other hand to him. Then she smiled smugly.

"You don't like when I call you by your name, Katarina?" he mocked.

Burns' features hardened. She pointed her forefinger menacingly to him.

"That's a shame, Katarina," he repeated. Repeating her name would anger her. But since she had called him 'Snivellus' all the time, it was well deserved. "Listen, Kat," he hissed, "you fixed your rules, I fix mine. We apparently both dislike nicknames. That's why I suggest a politer way to speak to each other."

Severus saw Burns replied something. He read on her lips 'go to hell, Snivellus.'

"As such," he whispered under his breath, angrier than ever, "I expect you to call me 'Professor Snape,' as I will call you 'Professor Burns.'" Katarina crossed her arms over her chest and turned her head to the wall.

Burns' reaction galled Severus, as usual. "Professor Burns," Severus said softly, "stop being so childish." Burns didn't move her head.

"Fine!" Severus snapped. "You won't see me, if you don't want to. But you'll hear me! I didn't want to kill Lupin! I wanted to protect you! I feared you would be killed by him! Believe me or not, I care about you!"

Burns made an irritated movement with her left hand. Of course, she didn't believe him. Severus sighed. He was exasperated.

Burns briskly removed her shoes and dropped them to the floor. She crawled between the sheets. She turned her back to Severus and faced the right wall. Then she raised the blankets to her neck.

Severus stared at her. "All right!" he exclaimed. "Don't listen to me! But don't expect me to leave! I'll stay here to watch you!"

He conjured a chair and sat. Then he kept silent. He was upset. She thought he was 'a conceited, awful prat with greasy hair. And a bad kisser. The opposite of Black.' Severus hadn't cared about his looks for fifteen years. And since the beginning of the year, he had more been focused on Burns. But maybe he should make a few efforts? As for the 'bad-kisser' comment, that was more than he could bear. He had enough of being rejected by Katarina. Each time she said something mean to him, he had new, invisible wounds. The price to pay for his mistake.

***

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