Perfection

Okay, for practically my whole life, I've always been the girl who pretty much played it safe. In both life, and love.

I mean, think about it: I was in Ravenclaw, got good grades, dated Cedric, and Harry, who were, and are, in their own right, chivalrous, heroic, kind, and essentially both gentlemen.

Where's the risk in that?

Okay, yes, I did become one of the only three female Seekers Ravenclaw has ever had. But other than that, my life is as predictable as when the sun rises, and sets. I was poised to become Ravenclaw Quidditch Captain, and Head Girl, for goodness sake.

And yes, the fact that Cedric died in my fifth year unnerved me a lot. Actually, it almost ruined everything for me, because I became so withdrawn, and horribly depressed the following year. But really, could you blame me?

I almost messed everything up last year, my grades, Quidditch, and Harry. It was just all too much for me to handle at once, because of Cedric's death.

So over the summer, I got to thinking about numerous things, and one of those things was that I had to move on.

Roger had told me, Michael had told me, my parents told me, my friends told me, my teachers, even Professor Dumbledore told me. And Cedric would've probably told me too, if he could.

But I didn't want to, or maybe I even couldn't move on. It was too hard, much too hard. Cedric Diggory was the closest thing to perfection I could ever hope to attain; perfect for me, perfect for each other, perfect everything. He alone knew when to make me smile, let me rant, or kiss me. And I didn't want to let go of that.

But I realized what a shell of a person I had become one morning, looking into my vanity mirror. Now, I'm not much of a person to really pay attention to my looks, but the red eyes, the dark circles under my eyes, and the tears threatening to spill over at any moment, well that really made me think.

I didn't want to live like this. This person staring back at me in the mirror was not the real me. I wasn't that girl who spent hours crying, who blew Quidditch matches, this was not I. And I didn't want to live the rest of my life as someone else, because I was not that girl in my sixth year.

So, after deciding to put everything behind me, I also decided something else, when looking back at everything.

I realized, that for much of my life, I had always tried to be perfect. To be everything I could be, to be the best of the best, as best as I could be. And I was tired of that. I was tired of being predictable; I was tired of never taking risks.

So, I came up with kind of a late New Year's resolution; this year, my last year, would be my most spontaneous year yet. I would not strive to be perfect, but I would strive to be me, and that's all I wanted.

After all, perfection is overrated, isn't it?