Uric the Oddball and the Great Goblin Uprising

Chapter 9 - This Time Around

It was a weary group of sixth and seventh years that made their way into the coaches that would take them to the Hogwarts' Coach House in London. Nearly half the party had collapsed (or been placed by conscientious house elves) into the small, well-furnished rooms that had been magically arranged not far from the main ballroom. Hangover cures made the rounds at breakfast, and if the absence of the host and a few guests was noted it was only to speculate on whom had left with whom. By the end of the day, most of them would be bragging about having been at Varys' party, but most were too tired to work up much enthusiasm before dinner.

Varys, Louis, Mena, and Uric were in the last coach to leave the Nachleen Country home. They had breakfasted in a separate room with Varys' father, who had been taken aback by Uric Beaufolle. Uric had blithely informed him that he was always called, "that Gryffindor busybody" amongst other things at the Beaufolle home. The other three talked little - the night's adventures had exhausted them - though Mena couldn't stop grinning at every nonsensical thing Uric said. It was good to have their friend back.

Arriving at the Hogwarts' Coach House, they hurried up to the non-descript Muggle looking building, and leant casually against the boarded up brick entranceway. Inside, there was the usual bustle as students sorted out where they should wait for their particular year's coach. This was thrown into more confusion by the worried parents who were dragging their first-years from one platform to another, looking confused.

Since their luggage had already been delivered earlier, the four of them had little to do while they waited. Uric wandered off in search of the luggage in order to rescue Simon from his cage, leaving Louis, Mena and Varys standing alone. It was an awkward silence that stretched onward as Louis studiously avoided striking up any sort of conversation and pretended the overhead architecture was fascinating. It was Varys who finally broke.

"Will you sit with me on the coach?" he asked Mena hopefully. "I mean all of you, even Uric," he added upon sensing Louis' annoyance.

Mena hesitated. She wanted to spend time with her friends, but Varys was also important. She had never sat with anyone but Uric and Louis on the coaches before.

"You sit with the Ravenclaw Quidditch team, don't you?" asked Louis suddenly. Mena blanched. She could talk for hours about Quidditch, but the Ravenclaws had a tendency to take it to an extreme, especially their Seeker, Icarus Jabber. What did she care about the game first being played at Queerditch March? Or what Quintius Whatshisname said in The Noble Sport of Warlocks? She was more interested in actually playing and discussing the latest games, though that would be embarrassing since she would have to remind them of their latest ignominious defeat by Hufflepuff.

Fortunately, Varys seemed to sense this. "I'm sorry. I know you'll want to catch up with your own friends. Come join me when you can?"

Mena found herself nodding agreement, and Varys smiled. "Perfect. I shall see you later." He swept up her hand, and pressed it to his lips before walking quickly away. Mena glanced at Louis to see his reaction to the display of affection, but his face was a polite mask.

"I don't see why he bothers to include Uric and I in these invitations. It's obvious they're meant for you," said Louis.

"Maybe it's because he's a nice person now, unlike certain people I know."

Louis' dark green eyes stared straight into her own. "I am a very nice person in my own way, Mena."

"No, you're not," denied Mena playfully. "But we like you anyway. Isn't that so, Uric?"

Uric was back with his bird lizard, Simon, perched on his shoulder. "Yes, but I don't think indigent thalossacracies have anything to do with the argument."

"Nor do I," said Louis with mock gravity, and Mena burst into laughter. She was busy smoothing down the soft blue feathers on Simon's head to his chirping appreciation when the Hogwarts coaches arrived with a squeal from the hogs that drew them.

One of the first-years yelped, drawing a few appreciative snickers from the surrounding older students. The giant, bristled hogs dripping with sweat were impressive, but had ceased to either bother or entertain the older students years ago. The purple coaches with their Hogwarts' crests on a field of lighter purple drew more attention as everyone jostled to be first through their doors. The platforms were high enough to allow them easy access. The coaches looked small, but they were charmed to be much larger on the inside. Each coach had a teacher assigned, and it was Professor Thacher who pushed open the door to the seventh-year coach. Thacher was the Charms professor and Head of Slytherin, though his smiling face and propensity for bad puns always made people forget his background. "Did someone call for some coaching?" he asked the crowd of seventh-years, who gave his pun their usual groan of appreciation. "Try not to run over anyone this year," said Thacher cheerfully, before he stepped out of the way.

Inside the coach was much larger than the outside with rows of seats that could be magically arranged in more private groupings if the students wanted to. The décor ran to an eye watering amount of bright, red velvet on everything from the curtains to the seats with gilding on any surface that was left untouched by fabric. Those not blinded by the furnishings quickly made their way to a seat, Uric, Louis and Mena taking their usual spot off to the side.

The journey seemed to go faster every year. The three of them talked for awhile, mostly about what their summer had been like before the trip to Paris, and eventually Mena did join Varys and his group. Uric watched her go, and looked to Louis for an explanation, but Louis was studiously ignoring her abandonment.

"Do you know where the demon went after it left you, Uric?" Louis asked idly, hoping to get a better answer than he had last night.

"The demon?" Uric cocked his head to the side. "The Pudding, you mean? Gog left."

"Gog?"

"Its name is Gogorath, but you can call it Gog."

Louis considered this piece of absurd information for a moment. "It might be best if you don't mention the demon to anyone but Mena and I. Yes?"

"All right," agreed Uric.

The coaches dropped them off in front of the main doors. Louis quickly split off from Mena and Uric once they reached the Great Hall and found his usual seat with the others from his year at the Slytherin table. No one talked to him at first, so Louis took the opportunity to study the High Table.

He didn't expect to see anyone new, and was therefore surprised by the tall, red-haired man sitting in Professor Mentis' place. Had Mentis retired from Ancient Magics and Runes to write that manuscript she was always talking about?

Louis studied the new professor. Even from this distance, he could tell that the man didn't want to be here. Professor Baker, their Care of Magical Creatures teacher, was sitting next to him and trying periodically to engage him in conversation, but was being continually rebuffed. Eventually, she gave up and turned to talk to Professor Wright, who was as happy to talk to her as he was to any other woman. Louis idly wondered if Wright would get up the courage to ask the beautiful professor to marry him this year. It was rumoured he had meant to the year before, but Baker had been deeply involved with an Egyptian wizard at that point. Now that she was free, Wright might try his luck. Louis would have to move quickly if he was going to get good odds in the Slytherin betting pool.

Alexis coughing on his right caught his attention. She tossed her head in his direction, and Adrianne Beryl leant across the table towards him. "So, Louis," she said, flicking a lock of her brown hair out of her face. "You and your friends were gone for a long time last night, and this morning."

"And Varys too," said Alexis casually, giving him a pointed look. Louis had to resist the urge to tell her that their orgy had run over time.

He shrugged. "It was Uric's idea to go wandering. I was charged with looking after him."

"Did you run into Varys and Mena?" asked Adrianne.

"Yes, we did." Louis didn't want Alexis thinking that Varys and Mena had been alone in the house for long. "He gave us a tour of his home, and Uric insisted on seeing everything, including the broom closets. We even saw the house elves' quarters," he said disdainfully.

Adrianne nodded, but it was when Alexis turned to talk to Athar sitting next to her that Louis relaxed and went back to examining the professors.

There was an odd air about the High Table that Louis couldn't place. Headmistress Kurze looked more stony than usual, but that might be because the first years were taking a long time to cross the lake. That didn't explain how distracted and upset Professor Bear, who taught History of Magic, looked. The large man kept staring down at a scroll he had, then glancing over at the red-haired man, before looking down again. The rest of the table weren't so obvious, but they were all upset or worried about something.

He didn't have long to consider the matter, since the first-years finally straggled into the hall, led by an enraged looking Professor Stewart. Stewart was the Deputy Headmaster and Defence Against the Dark Arts professor. He had a hatred of disobedience, tardiness, and jokes, and Louis had no difficulty imagining any of a number of things the first-years might have done to get him angry. Luckily, it looked as though he had calmed down by the time he fetched the Sorting Hat.

Watching the Sorting wasn't an appealing idea, so Louis pulled out the morning's copy of the Daily Prophet. He had been saving it to read during the Headmistress' invariably long and dull welcoming speech, but there was no problem with getting an early start. When the hat began to sing, he wasn't listening.

*****

Mena was setting up an invisible chess set. If played the proper way, you would only be able to see a faint outline of the board on the table, with the pieces being directed by verbal commands; but since Mena and her opponent Neil McGowan weren't good enough to visualize the entire chess set in their heads they had the pieces set to slightly transparent. The set was translucent so as not to draw unwanted attention to it during the Headmistress' welcoming speech, but they really shouldn't have bothered. As soon as Mrs. Kurze stood up and placed her black hat on her short, red hair, the entire hall quietly yet efficiently produced methods of staving off boredom. Many students pulled out books or the Daily Prophet to read. Others resorted to games or crafts, though anything that made too much noise wasn't considered a good idea. No one was sure if Mrs. Kurze was aware of how her speeches were being ignored, but she had stopped the speech once in their fourth year to verbally destroy a sixth-year who had been quietly practicing his violin. No one wanted to be her next victim, so silence was emphasized and books with camouflage covers were quite popular.

Mena glanced at the new, first-year Hufflepuffs and grinned at the fact that they'd have to listen to Kurze's speech, though the smart ones would take a nap. Next year they would know to bring something to occupy themselves.

Mena and Neil started the chess game. Ten minutes in, even the professors had given up the pretence of listening and were resorting to their own methods of curing boredom. Baker was happily reading a pamphlet with an illustration of a chimera on the front. Professor Darshan, the Potions professor and one of Mena's favourite teachers, had transfigured a statue of an Indian goddess with many arms and was teaching it to juggle. Everyone else was either reading or sleeping, with the exception of Professor Bear who was snoring loudly, and, Mena suspected, deliberately.

No. Not everyone. The handsome new professor with the long red hair was staring fixedly at the ceiling with a stony look that said he was listening reluctantly to every word the Headmistress uttered. The other Hufflepuff girls had been watching him since they sat down, and Mena had to admit that she had stolen her fair share of glances. His brooding only made him more attractive. She thought it was vaguely indecent to be looking at a teacher that way though and quickly turned her attention back to the game.

"The badger twas Hufflepuff's choice,

That shirked not at labour and toil.

A creature of blessing and healing,

That to its family was loyal."

"Uric! Will you stop singing that!" snapped Mena. He had started out humming the Hufflepuff verse from the Sorting Hat's song, but now he had graduated to full out singing with Simon crooning harmony. She was having trouble concentrating on her game, and it was a wonder Mrs. Kurze hadn't noticed the noise.

"The Hat mentioned badgers," said Uric happily. Simon was still crooning the song. "Why don't more articles of clothing mention badgers? Do you think I could get my trousers to sing about badgers?"

"I know a rude song about badgers. I-" chimed in Neil helpfully from across the table.

"No!" said Mena quickly. She knew it too, and had resolved that Uric would never ever hear it, if only to save herself from the embarrassment of admitting that she knew him when he did go around singing it.

"You can charm trousers to sing, but why would you want to?" said Alpolonius Nester in a disgusted tone. He had been sitting next to Neil, apparently engrossed in a book, but as usual when it came to Uric he had been listening enough to get in an insult.

"Trousers are fun," said Uric, oblivious to Al's tone.

"And you could make them sing as a joke, or part of a show or something," said Mena, giving Al an exasperated look. Most of the Hufflepuffs ignored or were distantly friendly with Uric. She wasn't sure when Alpolonius Nester had taken a dislike to Uric, but he never missed an opportunity to put down one of Uric's ideas or discredit him. If Al had shown any signs of following up his dislike with pranks or some other form of action, she would have worried, but since he seemed to be content with verbally attacking Uric, she left him alone, or defended Uric when she was around. While occasionally, Uric reacted to something people told him, in general words didn't seem to mean much to him, so she wasn't too upset. Al always backed down when she threatened to punch him for what he said anyway.

"Are you going to move?" asked Neil. Mena started. Al had returned his attention to his book, while Uric was now concentrating on balancing his wand, point down, on his index finger. Even Simon had stopped chirping.

"Yes. Sorry." She moved her knight, then winced when Neil took her last rook with his own knight.

They were actually on their second game when Headmistress Kurze finally started to wind down her speech. It was always time to start putting their procrastination aids away when she began to thank the school governors.

"Hogwarts has been a bastion of education and learning for countless generations. I expect every student to fulfil their role in its future," said Mrs. Kurze proudly.

She fell silent, and there was a long pause as everyone wondered if she was actually finished. Professor Darshan started clapping, and everyone followed suit. Mrs. Kurze didn't even smile. "Yes. Thank you," she said sourly. "Now, before your meal, I have some announcements to make." There was a low groan from the students.

"Quiet! Less than a week ago, Professor Mentis disappeared while she was out on one of her ridiculous research trips to the Highlands. Once her absence was noticed, a group of wizards went out to find her. Yesterday, I was told that her body was found, torn apart by goblins. It is thought that she wandered into one of the goblin's forbidden areas."

The hall was utterly silent. Mrs. Kurze's voice had been strong. She would have considered it a weakness to show something like grief, but it showed well enough on the other faces around her. Some of the teachers obviously hadn't known, and sat in stunned silence, while others bowed their heads in grief. Professor Bear had his hands folded as though he were praying.

Mena looked around at the other students and wondered if her face had the same mixture of sadness and fear. Hogwarts was in Scotland after all. The Highlands weren't that far away, and Professor Mentis was well liked by the students who took her Ancient Magics and Runes class.

"I was required to find a replacement professor on short notice," continued the Headmistress, her lips pressed into a thin, grim line. "Fortunately, I was able to appoint a professor who comes on the highest recommendation. It was his wards that closed the portal at Stonehenge permanently. His writings on ancient magic were already being used by Professor Mentis has supplementary material for her class, and he achieved not one, but two BATS in the subject when he was at Hogwarts." Every eye in the room was on the red-haired professor, and it was quite easy to see him turning red with embarrassment at the Headmistress' words. His fist, Mena noticed was clenched tightly and turning white as he fought not to interrupt the litany of praise.

"May I present, Professor Aedan Kurze. My son." There was a proud smile on Mrs. Kurze's face. The hall was silent, though some of the teachers were sending disgusted looks at both the Headmistress and her son.

"Nepotism," coughed someone at the Slytherin table. Mena looked over quickly to see if she could see who had coughed, but everyone at the table was doing their best to look intensely innocent. She wondered what "nepotism" meant.

"Who said that?" demanded Mrs. Kurze angrily.

It was Louis who stood up to respond. "One of the first-years had a coughing fit, Headmistress." He gestured at a tiny, red haired boy who obviously couldn't have made the deep guttural cough they had all heard. "Sorry to interrupt."

The Headmistress stared suspiciously at Louis. Her grey eyes seemed to bore into him, even from so far away, and Mena held her breath. There was nothing but common decency stopping Headmistress Kurze from punishing Louis for the comment. It was Professor Kurze who saved him.

He stood up, and cleared his throat, sending a quick glare in his mother's direction that rivalled hers in intensity. "Thank you for the welcome, Headmistress. I'm sorry to have to come to you in such circumstances. Xu Mentis was an excellent witch whose presence and contributions to her field will be sorely missed. I cannot fill her place, but I will do my best to live up to her expectations." The clapping started spontaneously, and Professor Kurze sat down, his grave demeanour only slightly ruined by the triumphant look he gave his mother at his speech besting hers. It had been a pretty speech, Mena had to admit, and she clapped with the rest, even though she hadn't known Professor Mentis well at all. Shouldn't they have a moment of silence for her as well?

Mrs. Kurze's face was back in its usual stern glare. "Thank you, Professor Kurze," she said after the applause had subsided. "As some of you may know, we also accept a new professor every year to fill the Dark Arts post." Dark Arts was only taught to seventh years and was therefore considered a part time post. "This year's professor will be Josianne Dacourt, who hails from France. She will be arriving in a few days and I'm sure you all will make her feel welcome. Now, we must sing the school song."

The song itself wasn't bad, but the tune the Headmistress always chose to sing was dismal. Mena much preferred the happier sounding version Uric always sung, so much so that she didn't even elbow him to be quiet when his voice began to drown out everyone else's and drew Mrs. Kurze's glare. When the song was over, the Headmistress stared pointedly at Uric as if debating his punishment, but decided against it, and instead let the feast begin.

It was the usual good food, and Mena found herself cheering up considerably from the awful news about Professor Mentis. She even helped Uric build a bridge out of leeks so his peas could escape the evil turkey monster. Dessert was over too quickly and she was yawning when they were all dismissed to their respective common rooms. She didn't notice Louis' approach until he appeared at her side.

"You'll notice she didn't say anything about keeping us safe from the goblins," he said, then thrust the Daily Prophet into her hands before joining the crowd of Slytherins heading towards the dungeons. Mena let the others brush past her, as she scanned the front page of the paper. The main story was on wizarding politics in Italy and Eastern Europe. Puzzled, she flipped to the second page, and the third. Finally, she reached the editorials and there in bold, underlined by Louis' quill, it said, "Are our children at risk? Hogwarts in the Path of Destruction!"