Something for the Shock

"I- I didn't mean to! I mean, she didn't mean it, to, to, I didn't mean it t-to happen or anything, I didn't know what was going on, but I should've done something, I could've done something!"

"...That's right, dear. You did all you could. Now please, shh, a little, while I settle you down..."

"W-what happened to Katie? Where is she now? Why, can't you tell me anything?-"

"Relax, miss Jules. There, now, sit down, while I fix you something..."

"But how am I supposed to relax? My friend's just been cursed and, oh, she was screaming and I couldn't pull her down, I couldn't get her down, I just couldn't!"

"I know, dear, I know," Madame Pomfrey murmured as she bustled about the ward, opening up a round jar with placid purple liquid inside of it; she splashed some of the potion into a glass, and walked over to the moaning Leanne with it.

Leanne was now blindly clutching at the mattress sheets beside her, wet snow falling and dripping from her hair. "I don't want her to be hurt... I didn't want her to be hurt, Madame Pomfrey, ohh Katie, why did this-"

She barely felt Madame Pomfrey's hand on her shoulder, as she gently but swiftly turned the girl around to face her. "Here, take this, Miss Jules, you'll feel much better..."

Leanne steadied a moment to eye the new, grey-colored drink in her hand. "What's that going to do?"

"It will help some of the shock to wear off."

Leanne's eyes widened suddenly. "But- but I don't want to forget what happened! It was awful, but I feel better enough to, to talk to you about it now! Or anyway, I will! What if there's something important I need to tell someone about it, or if-"

"Your friend Miss Katie Bell is in the care of experts now. Although her condition did seem quite severe, I'm sure that the Healers know what they are doing. Now please, get a good grip on yourself. We've all had our little scare, but now..."

"But, what if-" began Leanne again, but she let her sentence dangle unfinished as more tears poured down from her red face. She hunched herself into a ball of grief, heaved once, twice-

"Oh, sweetheart, there there..." said Madame Pomfrey as she rushed over to her on the bed, pat her on the back. "It's going to be alright..."

"No, it's never going to be fine again! Even if she's... gonna be okay, I dunno how I'll live with myself for being such an idiot," (with her last word she crashed her fist into the bed- springs groaned and cranked at the gesture).

"They're going to do all they can... believe me, I've seen worse cases before... you're just going to have to be patient, so please, Ms. Jules, just calm yourself down..."

And with that, Leanne looked up at Madame Pomfrey, her slight, twisting raw face to the older woman's round, wrinkled, purple-veined face, and she embraced the woman in a tight hug. She couldn't think of anything else to do. Madame Pomfrey did her best to hide her surprise, let her body relax. It wasn't entirely rare for her patients to look to her for solace like this, but Madame Pomfrey relished every minute of it. She liked that maternal feeling- it made her efforts as a Nurse seem more meaningful, as opposed to being portrayed as a mere busy body.

"I love her," Leanne cried sorrowfully, thickly, into Madame Pomfrey's hair, into her ear. "Oh, God, I loved her so much... I can't believe it, I just can't..." Again and again she said it. And it was only for her own momentary shock of the intensity and weight of these words, that Madame Pomfrey let her sob it over and over, before she'd finally come to and handed the medicine to the girl, this girl Leanne, so brokenhearted.

"Drink this," she said to her, surprised at the hoarseness of her voice. She coughed a little. "It will make you feel better."

Leanne didn't seem to have much strength left to argue; she took the drink and immediately swallowed it down; her throat bobbed. A final whimper escaped her and then she was suddenly blank. Madame Pomfrey smiled slightly with satisfaction, and went away to other things, knowing that there wouldn't be anything left to worry about concerning the poor girl- the potion would do its business then and there.

A numbing, bittersweet-flavor crept all around and inside Leanne's mouth- even the place where she had wiped some of the potion off from her chin was tingling and senseless.

She rocked slightly on the bed, blinking; the beds and furniture of the hospital room seemed to shift and slide into place, like a children's puzzle, become less scattered and more recognizable. She felt her body relax, slowly, gently, unclench.

"Thank you," she mumbled to nobody- her eyes stared ahead- as Madame Pomfrey was already tending to other things, in another room. She had the strangest urge to laugh out loud and continue laughing, but instead her body shut down on her a little and she completely forgot composure. Putting all of her weight on the mattress, she spaced.

Leanne heard a clock ticking somewhere. Where, she wondered, was Katie now?

*

An hour or two later, still in the ward, resting under Madame Pomfrey's watchful eye, Leanne spoke to herself noiselessly, and Leanne spoke to herself back.

It's gonna be with me forever, isn't it? It's going to remain with me?

...What is?

Katie's screaming. Katie being lifted into the air. Katie's movements- writhing, fighting- so very like and unlike her own. Katie's closed body and soul. And how she was so unreachable.

...Forever would be a long time. To remember this.

I know- I guess so.

...What about death? I mean, it sounds morbid, but- what happens when you die? Will you forget then?

I wonder. I think something will still be there. A grain of feeling, what it felt like... screaming and crying with her. We were one body in our anguish. Nothing else mattered at that moment.

...That's a poetic thought.

Whatever.

...I wish I could forget.

...You don't really.

It felt darker in the ward than it should have at four o'clock. The curtains were drawn. Leanne wished that they weren't... Unbidden visions were much easier to see in the almost-complete darkness.

*

Leanne woke up a little later. Madame Pomfrey wasn't there to check up on her, but she didn't really care. Leanne filled herself a glass of water with her wand, swished it around in her paper-parches mouth, and spat into the basin. She then gathered her things, and went back to her room.

Katie, screaming and thrashing, followed Leanne there.