Hinged/Unhinged

Okay- I am shaking so much.

Your smile is reassuring because there is control in it, but there's just a hint of shakiness in your lips, as well.

Oh, I thought this would be easier, much easier. But now you're nearing closer to me, and my body, and I feel almost numb to it...

Until you up and close your eyes to my face and they're both touching each other... your legs cross my legs... and you brush a lock of hair from my face.

And now the only numb part is my mind, which I swear is tingling, and my body can feel everything.

Your soft breasts pressing into my own soft breasts. Two pairs of rounded pairs, as close as close can be.

It hurts only a little. I notice this now.

Your eyes are caring, or what I see of them- I am breathing so much faster now and everything feels almost hitched, and my own eyes continue to dart down to myself, whom, I hate to admit, I trust more than you.

Because, well, I've been acquainted with myself much longer than you.

But oh, I don't care any more. I trust you with every part of me that does and does not have a name, and you could scratch me with your nails (which are longer than my jagged nails), all over my body, my arms, my nose, my forehead and the soles of my hardened-but-ticklish feet, and I wouldn't care.

I wonder whether I would even notice the slight damage.

Kiss me, already. I want to be sure it's good enough to be true, and to really taste it.

One small bite only leaves a stale, longing taste in my mouth, so please kiss me deeply.

Please pour yourself into me.

Thank you for this, I think; and as I try to articulate this breathless gratitude, your arms creep around my neck... and the affection I feel for you is so beyond any I've felt for any other woman in the world.

Could this be the end?...

At any rate, my words are swallowed up under the pillows and the t-shirts and clothes that we are wearing... and then, a few scattered moments later, not wearing as much.

My whole life in front of me, now, is scattered.

But you are real, aren't you?

Oh, God, this is scary, but I can tell that you are scared, too.

Yes, you shake less than I do, but if you shook any more I think I would have to leave the room,

Leave your house, your home,

The body and personality, I mean, the person that is you.

But right now, I can't.

Of course I can't, and the last thing I would want to do is disappoint you.

Definitely not that.

Your hair is just long enough to the point tickle the places where it hangs down low- into my lap, laying innocently on my arms.

The peak of your breasts are peaking out from your shirt. Yes, mine are hidden.

Everything is falling down right now, falling away, like paint from a watery canvas,

Glowing florescently in the sunlight light of the room.

Please, real world, do not knock right now- this current setting should be mine forever. Don't I, don't she and I both deserve that?

...A bit of loneliness, just only ourselves, pressed together, shaking, our perceptions fluttering, for all eternity...

Oh my God, I swear that our breathing is in sync; you let out a breath when I do, your body rises at exactly the same moment, this is...

History. Fantasy. Magic, but not like they'd teach you, and even if the word love was mentioned, it shouldn't have meant anything to you, because it was part of their life, the teacher's life...

Not your life. The life that she, she is helping unfold, now.

I allow myself to sigh.

Katie. Katie, Kate, Katie.

Oh God, do I love you.