Loss and Gain

Chapter 4

"Can I have a mirror?" Harry asked. He was back in his hospital bed, watching Leah as she bustled about his room watering the flowers that had arrived from Hogwarts while he was with Lovell. It was about six o'clock in the evening and Harry was bored; he wanted to be out of the hospital, and back in the magical world, taking some sort of action. He'd gone from wanting to run away from his connection to Voldemort to wanting to get the inevitable confrontation over with and Voldemort to be dead.

"Err... sure, James," she said uncertainly. She finished watering the flowers and left the room to find a handheld mirror. Harry grabbed the unopened card that had been placed on his bedside in his absence. He recognised the writing on the envelope as Hagrid's, who'd never been very good about keeping stuff secret after all. Harry removed the stiff, tan-coloured parchment from the envelope.

Dear James,

How are you? I am sure you are feeling pretty down right now, but I am coming to visit you in a few days, and I've got a present for you! I think you will like it a lot. Don't worry too much about what's been going on, you will be caught up on it soon enough.

I hope you like the flowers; I grew them myself. Fang says hello, and when I come to visit you I am going to bring someone with me that I am sure you are missing right now. See you soon, and try to stay cheerful!

Hagrid

Harry set the letter down on his bedside table. His spirits raised from knowing that Hagrid would be coming to see him. That got him thinking about how Hagrid was his first real friend, and how he'd rescued him from the Dursleys'. He wondered whom Hagrid was bringing, and what the gift was going to be. The mention of a gift made Harry slightly nervous; thinking of The Monster Book of Monsters that Hagrid had sent him before his third year.

His train of thought was interrupted as Leah walked back into the room carrying a small round mirror. She handed it to Harry and left quickly, seemingly as nervous as him. He took a deep breath and looked into the mirror, and in the mirror, where Harry saw his face looking back at him.

It looked almost the same, except his face was even skinnier and his skin parchment coloured. His eyes were as bright as they ever had been, and his hair even messier; he smoothed it back and noticed something odd. His lightning bolt scar seemed to have dramatically faded. It was there, but instead of sharply contrasting with his skin it almost seemed to blend in. Is it disappearing? He wondered silently. Maybe it is reappearing... He didn't stop to wonder about it anymore because he noticed something else.

He moved the mirror, and stared at the reflection of his jaw and chin in the mirror. A red, twisting scar snaked its way from under his right ear across his jaw and under his chin. He stared at it for a little longer wondering where it came from. As if my face wasn't disfigured enough by the first scar... he thought to himself with a humourless laugh. He went back to looking at the lightning shaped scar, and didn't notice Leah re-enter the room.

"That's a funny scar," she said and he jerked up in surprise.

"What...?" he said.

"I never noticed that scar before; it's funny since I have been your nurse for almost two years. It looks like lightning..." she trailed off.

"Err, yeah, I got it in a car accident when I was small," he said, repeating the lie Aunt Petunia had always told him.

"You seem to have a knack for scarring your face in accidents," she said absently, not really looking at him.

He realised his scar must have disappeared while he slept. It was just now reappearing. I guess I can't get rid of my connection to Voldemort that easily, he thought resignedly. I'll get him eventually.

*****

Hagrid arrived around noon two days after his letter was delivered. He still looked too big to be allowed, but he seemed to have managed to find the hospital without causing too much of a ruckus.

"Harry!" he said excitedly, rushing to his bedside, trying to hug him.

Harry winced, but didn't say anything; because Hagrid seemed to be the only person he'd met since waking up whose only emotion seemed to be pure joy. He was always so straightforward with his emotions, he was either sad or happy, and he didn't try to hide it. It was the reason Harry always liked Hagrid so much.

"Hello, Hagrid!" Harry said, for once truly happy.

"Oh, 'arry it's so great ter see you. I know you're feelin' down, but it'll get better!" Hagrid said his voice tearfully happy.

"It's good to see you again too," Harry replied.

"I brought you someone I bet yer missin'," Hagrid said as he walked to the window. He undid the latch on the window, and a white mass of feathers flew through and soared around the room.

"Hedwig!" Harry said happily as the snowy owl swooped down and landed on his shoulder.

"She seemed ter know when you woke up. She started flyin' aroun' and wouldn't leave me alone," Hagrid explained.

Harry was very happy to see Hedwig. He'd wondered about her a few hours after he'd woken and was afraid she was dead. She hooted softly at him and Harry felt comforted for the moment.

"Hagrid, can I keep her here?" he asked.

"Yeah, I asked Dumbledore this mornin', and he said you could."

Hagrid pulled a parcel from his coat and slowly unwrapped it. The package and Harry could see it was a miniaturised version of Hedwig's cage. Hagrid took out the pink umbrella that Hagrid always seemed to have with him. Hagrid tapped the cage, and it grew to full size.

"Dumbledore gave me permission ter use magic 'cause I need it to protect myself from Voldemort. He doesn't like us part giants who refused ter follow him," Hagrid explained.

Hagrid set the cage on Harry's bedside table, and put Hedwig into it. Harry immediately let her out again, not wanting to lose the comfort of holding her on his arm.

"Can I send letters with her Hagrid?" he asked hoping against hope he would be able to.

"Err... yeah, but you got ter follow some, erm... rules. You can't send 'er in the usual way," Hagrid explained. "There is a secret owl post. You can accessed it by special mirrors, and I brought ya' one as a presen'. Hedwig will be able to go into the mirror, and fly to any other mirror in the world, and it will be almost instantaneous. Yer owls get delivered quicker tha' way and they can't get intercepted."

"Amazing," Harry replied. "How come I never learned about this before?"

"It isn't very common knowledge, only the Ministry and a few other witches and wizards are aware of it. Dumbledore set down some rules, ya' can only send letters to me, Ron, Remus, Hermione, and him, unless ya' get permission from im'."

"Thanks, Hagrid!" Harry said as Hagrid pulled a large wide mirror out of one of his pockets.

Hagrid handed it to Harry, who laid it across his lap. It looked like a regular mirror; it was a little wider then Harry would guess a regular owl's wingspan to be. Harry was amazed once again at the Magical World.

"I'll hang it up on the wall for ya'." With that he took a nail out of his pocket and proceeded to hang the mirror.

"Thanks Hagrid."

For the better part of the next hour, Hagrid and Harry talked. They talked about happy stuff mostly, like how the garden he planted was doing. Whenever Harry brought up a topic that Hagrid didn't seem to think would be good to talk about he would cough and start talking about the weather. Harry didn't mind, it was the first happy conversation he'd had since waking up.

Hagrid eventually left after promising to visit as much as possible, and saying that he would try to talk Dumbledore into allowing Harry back into the Magical World as soon as possible. Harry lay wondering what he would do once he was able to go back to the Magical World. He wasn't sure if he would go back to school and finish his education; try to find a job, or make killing Voldemort his full time job.

*****

"Tomorrow will be your first surgery, James," Lovell explained after Harry finished breakfast the next morning. The doctor hadn't been happy and muttered indistinctly, when he'd first seen Hedwig in his patient's room. Harry wondered if perhaps Dumbledore had made special arrangements to allow him to keep her.

"Err... What exactly are you going to be doing?" Harry asked, slightly suspicious.

"Well, I'm not going to be doing the surgery," Lovell said sounding put out, "Your Grandfather, Albus I think his name is, wanted you to have the best surgeon available, so Doctor Park has been called in."

"Who is Dr. Park?" Harry asked.

"He is a Canadian surgeon who came up with the procedure you are undergoing. This first surgery will lengthen the ligaments in your calves, thighs, and knees. The ligaments in your legs have shortened, and using some prosthetic ligaments you will eventually be able to bend and straighten your legs."

"You said I have a grandfather?" Harry asked, remembering he wasn't supposed to know anything about his former life.

"Yes, you have a grandfather named Albus Dumbledore. I have spoken to him a few times."

The Doctor left then, and Harry lapsed into thought; he'd never had an operation in his life. He remembered the doctor he'd seen as a child while living at the Dursleys', this doctor was always friendly towards him, but the Dursleys stopped going to him when they'd started asking suspicious questions about Harry's small size.

This thought led Harry to thinking about the Dursleys. Neither, Lupin, Ron, nor Hagrid mentioned the Dursleys when he'd seen them. Harry figured after the night at the Ministry the Dursleys were probably told he was dead. Harry decided he didn't care where they were.

Later that night, after Leah served him his dinner he decided to write letters to Hermione, Hagrid, Ron and Dumbledore. He wasn't sure exactly what he wanted to say. Hello, I know I haven't spoken to you in five years, but how's it going... was the first thing that popped into his head. He decided to start with Hagrid since he'd talked to him already.

He wrote a brief letter to Hagrid thanking him again for the present and asking him if he would keep him updated on some of the stuff in the Wizarding World. He even thought to ask who was winning the Quidditch League. Then he decided to move on to Hermione.

Dear Hermione,

This is James McGregor, how are you? I talked to Ron, and he said that you and your husband have a son. I hope you will come visit me soon. I would like to hear your take on my situation, seeing as how you've always been the cleverest witch I know.

Ron and Professor Lupin told me some of what our friends are doing, but I still don't know much, so I was hoping you would fill me in on some things. How is Ginny and everyone else? I hope you and your family are well.

J. McGregor

He decided after some consideration that it wouldn't be wise to use his real name, even though Hagrid told him that the secret post was safe. He figured that Hermione would know, especially since it was Hedwig who would be delivering it. He thought his letter sounded a little formal, but he couldn't think of anything else to say to make it sound less awkward.

After that he wrote to Ron asking him to visit again soon, and asking if he would find out if Harry could have a subscription to the Daily Prophet. His last letter was to Dumbledore. He kept it brief; Harry found himself having trouble not being resentful towards Dumbledore. His letter was peppered with questions about when he would be allowed out of the hospital and what he was supposed to do when he finally did get out of the hospital.

He then sent the letters off with Hedwig immediately. She seemed to know that she was supposed to use the mirror to get to her destination. She went into the mirror as though the surface was water, creating small ripples that then disappeared and Harry was left staring at what appeared to be an ordinary mirror.

*****

Harry's surgery was scheduled for 1 o'clock the next day, so Harry had some free time the next day before his surgery. Leah left him to his own mostly, coming in only occasionally to check on him. She had been surprised the first time she had come in the day before and Hedwig was sitting in her cage. She'd asked Harry if she could pet her, but had not told him that she couldn't be there. Around 9 o'clock Hedwig burst out of the mirror, and flew over to sit on his lap.

Harry clumsily untied the four letters attached to her leg and one parcel, and pointed her to her cage. Someone must have charmed the cage, because there was fresh water and food waiting. Harry opened the envelope with the package first.

Dear James,

I am hoping to visit you soon. It is so wonderful that you are back with us! You have no idea how much we missed you. I am quite busy with some business right now, and I will be unable to visit you until sometime next week.

When I visit I will try and fill you in as best I can on all our friends. I sent two books that I thought you might be interested in. They are charmed to look like novels to everyone but you. I can't wait to see you, and I might bring Davis to visit sometime. I hope you are well.

Love,

Hermione

Harry felt comforted by the letter, but was a little nervous about seeing her and her son. He thought it might just be too strange for him. He ripped open the package, and inside were two books. The first was called Theories of Magical Medicine and the second was Rehabilitation Methods. The latter book seemed to be a regular Muggle volume. Just like Hermione to send a book, Harry thought.

Ron's reply was short saying that he would ask Dumbledore if Harry could have a subscription to the Daily Prophet, and that he hoped to visit soon. Then Harry moved on to Dumbledore's reply.

Dear James,

I do not want to answer your questions by letter, I will talk to you in due time. Then most of your questions will be answered. I will tell you in this letter that I do not want your awakening revealed to anyone outside the Order, so do not try to contact anyone, but the people Hagrid mentioned to you.

A. Dumbledore

Harry was rather angry at this answer. He wasn't a child anymore, and he wanted answers. Look what had happened last time Dumbledore wouldn't speak to him; he had made the biggest mistake of his life and gone to the Ministry of Magic. If he had known about the prophecy he wouldn't have. It also seemed that Dumbledore wanted him isolated from everyone that might give him any answers.

He went onto Hagrid's letter which was cheerful, but did not provide him any useful information. He decided to let Hedwig rest before replying to any of the letters. All he wanted was for his surgery to be over, and to get back to the Wizarding World.