A Moment

I saw Voldemort and Harry rise into the air. The golden light between their wands was almost unbearable to look at, it was so bright. I was scared that my master might be hurt. A stupid thought, I mean after all he must be the most powerful wizard.

As the powerful light grew brighter and brighter I saw something come out of my master's wand. It was a smoky object, but I couldn't tell what it was. It then moved to the edge of the light cast by the wands, and I could see it was a person. It looked like the ghost of a person. I couldn't make out his face, but he scared me. It was as if he was watching me.

I stopped watching the boy for a moment, and realized that other smoke people were coming out of my master's wand. An old man and middle aged lady. I recognized the woman. It was Bertha Jorkins, a sixth year when I was in my first. That made me even more scared. I had seen my master kill Bertha, months ago. Another figure was emerging from the wand.

It was a man. It was a man who looked very familiar for some reason. I could see him talking to Potter, but I couldn't make out his words. Then I realized who it was. It was James, the ghost of him at least. He then came towards the edge of the light like the others. I couldn't help but stare at him. I felt a twinge of guilt then, small but there.

Finally, a lady emerged from my master's wand, but I didn't need to guess who it would be because I already knew now. It was Lily. Sweet Lily, the one who had always been nice to me, even when I was being made fun of by James and Sirius. I couldn't bear to watch her.

Harry broke the light between his wand and the Dark Lord. He darted away, running towards the spare's body. The smoky figures were closing in on Voldemort and all the Death Eaters. I saw Lily looking at me. I didn't see anger in her eyes. I saw only extreme sadness and disappointment. It was as if her eyes were saying, 'How could you, Peter?'

I then felt remorse like I had never felt. I had felt slightly guilty 13 years ago after the deed was done, but not like this. This was almost paralyzing guilt. I wanted to curl up and die. I felt for Harry, who never knew his parents. I felt for Sirius and Remus even. I felt the worse though for Lily, who never got to see her son grow up.

Later that night, after my master got news that Barty was no longer of use to anyone and that Harry had survived, I sat alone. I wanted to die then. I wanted it all to end. As I do now.

Now a year after my master was revived, the one person that was there for Harry has been killed. While I betrayed Sirius a long time ago, I did not feel bad then. I do now. I feel like the scum of the earth. Everything that has happened to the boy is because of me. I want to die.

I just finished writing a letter to Harry. I thanked him for saving my life two years ago. I also apologized for everything. I told him he did not have to worry about me doing anything to him anymore. I just sent it off. Now as I sit alone in my chamber it is time for everything to end. This dagger I hold in my hand will end some of the boy's problems. I do not wish for heaven. I do not deserve it. I just want this moment to end!