A Bit Unhealthy

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Angie! Sorry, love, I have to leave, but I didn't want to go before talking to you. You look gorgeous!

Not my doing; there's a SlimCharm on the dress.

Brilliant nonetheless! Oh, hello, Mrs. Weasley!

Hello, Katie, you look lovely, dear. Oh - are you leaving already?

I'm afraid so. Sorry, I'd love to stay longer, but with work and all...

Well thank you so much for coming, dear. It was lovely to see you.

You're welcome. (pause) So Mrs. Weasley, I take it you got over being upset that they decided not to have a huge do?

Well I suppose there wasn't time to plan much more, what with... erm. And it was perfectly lovely despite being so simple. Besides, I expect Harry and Ginny will be doing this soon enough. We'll have a proper event then.

We will?

Maybe Percy will let you go all out for him and Audrey.

If the two of them can keep their hands off each other long enough for him to pop the question!

Ron! In any case, Ginny, dear, do you really think I'd let my only daughter not have a big wedding?

We may have to elope, Harry. Or maybe you can get me up the duff-

Ginny!

Mummy up the duff!

Freddie! For heaven's sake, George, where did he learn-

Oi, I didn't teach him to say that, Mum!

Daddy say Mummy up the duff!

I may have to kill you, Lee.

Oi, that'd put a bit of a damper on things, don't you think? Best Man killed by groom? And after all the nice things you just said about me in your speech?

I take them back. Wanker.

Speaking of speeches. (pause). D'you think it's time?

(pause) Yeah. All right, yeah, may as well.

All right, this is the speech everyone knew was going to come at one point or another, may as well do it now. (pause). So, I already did a speech for Lee, and like I said, Lee's been a brilliant Best Man, although really, mate, I still say there was no need for the troll strippers. And I don't know anybody who could've dealt better with some attempts to make this a much bigger ceremony than Angelina and I wanted. A propos of nothing at all, Mum, Percy says he's got some wonderful news for you.

We all know, though, that if Fred hadn't died, he would've been standing up here too, though it's not certain whether he would've been Best Man or groom. Either way, I would've been proud to stand by his side.

Fred was funny, he was brilliant, compassionate, and a right pain in the arse. He could make just about anything seem funny, and any impossible, insane thing feel possible, and make it work out in the end.

There was one thing he wasn't able to make possible, though. He was in love with Angelina, and he hoped to make a life with her. He didn't get to do that. Although he did get to literally die laughing, surrounded by people who loved him, fighting to make a better world, and I know he would've thought it the perfect way to go except for the indignity of being done in by masonry.

Going on after him wasn't easy for any of us. We all knew, though, that he would've come back to haunt us if we squandered what he won for us. And the only way to honour his death and his life was to live the lives we had, and be grateful to him that we had them.

So. Here's a toast. Fred, wherever you are, thanks for still somehow being here with us today. Thanks for giving me the best childhood anyone could've had. For being Angelina's first love. For giving us Freddie, one way or another, and for pushing us together, whether you meant to or not.

(pause)

And don't laugh at Mum and me or, well, all of us, actually, for still not being able to talk about you without breaking down. (pause) We miss you, mate. Always will.

(pause)

But. We'll never forget you, and we'll be thankful for the years we had you, and try to accept that we couldn't have more of them.

Right, everyone, glasses up: to Fred.

(pause)

Cheers, mate.