Heaven and Hell

16th Chapter - Beginning a New Life

(October 1979)

Serena sat on the only bed in a small, white-painted room in the high-security ward of St. Mungo's. The bed consisted of a white metal frame and a white mattress, dressed with white sheets and a white pillow. The walls were lined with narrow white shelves, a white table and a white wooden chair. The nightgown she was wearing was white as well, and Serena wondered if some obscure society was collecting fees from hospitals if they dared to make their facilities any more colourful. Her pale face blended perfectly in the dreary surroundings. Only her rich black hair, pouring out under the brim of the dressing on her head, stood out in striking contrast. She had her back to the door and stared at the starry sky behind a barred window, lost in thought.

When Lord Voldemort had raised his wand against her, she had expected to see a green flash drawing a line under her existence. The Killing Curse hadn't come, though, but another Cruciatus. Unbearable pain had burned through every fibre of her body for the second time that night. She had felt her flesh being torn off her skeleton by an overwhelming force, her bones splintering, and her blood boiling. She had screamed in utter pain, searing flames filling her lungs with every gasp for air, until her tormented body could take it no more and had graciously passed out.

When she had woken again, she had been convinced that she was dead. She wondered briefly why heaven looked like a hospital, though. Her second thought had been that she might have landed in hell because she had never been particularly fond of hospitals after watching, as a small child, her beloved grandmother die in one. But the surroundings, albeit drab, didn't look terrible enough for hell. Finally, she had hit on the idea that she might still be alive, as unlikely as it seemed.

But far from being delighted by this fact, Serena had fallen into a deep, dark hole of depression. Her work as spy was over and she had no idea what else she should do now. Lord Voldemort had certainly informed all Death Eaters of her betrayal and ordered them to kill her whenever they got a chance. Which meant that she had also lost Severus' friendship. She couldn't ever see him again unless she was keen on being murdered by the man who had once been her best friend.

Only Albus Dumbledore had been able to get her out of her lethargy. He had visited her and given her the strength to go on. He convinced her that the end of her spying wasn't the end of the world. He gave her new courage, made her stop pondering the strange circumstances of her survival and made her look forward again. Dumbledore showed Serena the light at the end of the tunnel.

But then something happened to brutally extinguish her hopes and plunge her back into the depths of misery.

"Hello Serena, how are you?" a familiar voice interrupted her brooding.

Serena turned to look at her visitor and immediately twisted her face in pain. Her left arm rested in a sling and the fresh wound hurt at the sudden movement. Serena's eyes fell on Albus Dumbledore, who stood in the doorway and gave her a compassionate look.

"How should I be?" she despondently answered, marvelling at Dumbledore's ability to always turn up when she needed someone to speak to. "Whenever I think it can't get worse, it does."

"I'm so sorry about your parents," Albus said softly, closing the door behind him.

Serena gave a lugubrious sigh and turned back, resuming her staring at the window without actually seeing anything that was outside. With a low, scarcely perceptible voice she muttered, "It's all my fault. They wouldn't be dead if it wasn't for me." Her eyes brimmed with tears, but she made an effort to keep them at bay. She had already shed so many of them that she wondered how there could still be more.

With a sniff, she continued, "Whatever you told them when you passed on the warning that Voldemort was after them, it apparently made them think. As a result, they decided to visit me. It took them a while to actually come, but they did. I suppose they wanted to talk things out - try for reconciliation perhaps. But of all days they choose the one when a Death Eater sneaks into the hospital and attempts to blow me to pieces."

Her tears refused to stay confined to her eyes any longer and ran down her cheeks, but Serena paid no heed to them while she poured her heart out to Dumbledore. He sat down on a chair beside Serena's bed and squeezed her hand comfortingly.

"I hadn't seen them for so long. They looked so much older, had more grey streaks in their hair and many more wrinkles. Who knows, maybe because they worried so much about me." Serena took a deep breath, guilt mingling with grief on her face. "I was seeing a healer for a check-up. When a nurse brought me back to my room, she told me that my parents were there, waiting for me. I almost couldn't believe it. Then she opened the door, and suddenly the world exploded. After the dust had settled down, I saw my parents. And wished I hadn't. My very last memory of them now will be how they lay dead and covered in blood among dust covered rubble, looking grey and wrinkled."

Violent sobs interrupted Serena's speech. Albus consolingly patted her unhurt arm, silently waiting until her weeping subsided.

"Why?" Serena asked after a while, looking at her former headmaster as if he knew the answer. "Why did they have to wait in my room while I wasn't there? Why are they and the nurse dead and I'm hardly scratched?"

"Perhaps you have a particularly efficient guardian angel." A twinkle appeared in Dumbledore's eyes, daring Serena to lighten up her mood, to discard her sepulchral attitude and face the future instead of brooding over things that she couldn't change anyway.

Serena shook her head. "Maybe it wasn't coincidence that my parents were killed instead of me. Since they had gone into hiding, coming to St. Mungo's was the perfect opportunity for Voldemort to murder them. Perhaps I'm alive because the knowledge that it's all my fault is a punishment worse than death."

Dumbledore gripped Serena's shoulders, turning her toward him, until she looked up and met his intent gaze. "Listen, Serena, your parents' death is tragic but it isn't your fault," he said with the most serious voice she had ever heard of him. "You didn't kill them; you had no way of knowing what would happen today. Don't blame yourself, and don't let this stroke of fate drag you down." He released her from his grip and added, "There are more important matters that need your attention, after all."

Serena hung her head again, absentmindedly giving her stomach a stroke. "You mean, changing nappies and feeding the baby will keep me too occupied to find time to mourn?" Another sob escaped her throat. "Mum and Dad would certainly have been delighted to hear that they were about to become grandparents. They loved children."

After her arrival at St. Mungo's in a rather bad condition five days ago, Serena had been thoroughly checked for possible negative effects on her physical and mental health. The check-ups revealed that she wouldn't suffer any lasting damage, but also that she was carrying a child.

The news had been a shock to her at first, but soon Serena had started to like the thought of becoming a mother. Suddenly she saw a meaning in her life again - a new task that would keep her busy enough not to miss her old work too much. Serena found herself looking forward to raising her child, despite all the adverse circumstances. After all the trouble with her parents and her brother, she found the idea of her own little family quite appealing.

It wasn't difficult to figure out whose child she was expecting. Feeling a bit guilty, Serena remembered Moody's scepticism as to whether living under the same roof as the enemy would work out or not. Serena had claimed that she could handle the situation with all due care, and that she didn't consider Severus as an enemy, but as her friend. This statement had only served to irritate Moody even further. Serena had reassured him that she wouldn't let her feelings get in the way of her work, and that she wasn't prone to a deepening of their purely platonic friendship.

The growing life in her belly told another story. Serena was greatly relieved when Albus Dumbledore didn't show any disappointment upon learning of her pregnancy. He had seemed to be genuinely glad for her, and she had, against her initial decision to not give away the identity of the father, told him about Severus' role in creating this new life. But she had also made him swear that he wouldn't tell anyone about it, least of all the father in question.

Serena had made it perfectly clear that she didn't want Severus to know about his child. She considered him, a Death Eater, as dangerous as they came, and she didn't credit him with the capability to contribute to raising their child. The last thing she wanted was to have her baby raised as a Death Eater in training, and learning Dark Arts before walking.

"How is your baby?" Dumbledore asked her. Serena could see the sincere hope that the explosion hadn't claimed a fourth victim in his eyes. He seemed to be afraid that after the loss of her parents, she wouldn't be able to deal with the loss of her baby as well.

"It's okay. The healer said I seem to get more than the usual share of luck, because my baby wasn't hurt, not through the Cruciatus and not today." She sighed. "Perhaps your theory about a guardian angel is right, after all, but it's not mine, it's the wee one's."

"It's good news in any case. Concentrating on your child will certainly make it easier for you to cope with the bad blows."

"Speaking of bad blows - I really was looking forward to having a child. A child who unconditionally loves me, just because I'm it's mum. Who doesn't ask what I did or do, who doesn't judge me. But after what happened today I'm wondering whether it's worth the risk that I'm putting it in. I mean, there will always be another Death Eater attempting to kill my family and me. Perhaps I should give my child up for adoption. I'd certainly miss it, but it would have a chance to lead a normal life, to grow up like a child should grow up, not being forced to hide all the time."

Dumbledore shook his head in disagreement. "Why do you think your child would lead a normal life just because it was raised by other people? As long as Lord Voldemort is choking the wizarding world, no one can lead a normal, carefree life. Don't give up your baby; you will certainly regret it later. Even if it won't be easy, a child is a source of happiness that you shouldn't abandon."

Serena heaved a desperate sigh and her eyes began to fill again. "Happiness? I don't know. At the moment I only feel empty, jaded, and devoid of any happy emotions. Since I can't share my anticipation it seems to have gone completely."

"You can still share it with me, if it helps," Albus suggested. Serena managed a faint smile, wan but definitely a smile.

"I wonder," Serena began after a couple of minutes in silence, "why the windows in the high-security ward are barred. They aren't real windows, only projections that can't be opened anyway."

Dumbledore nodded, thoughtfully stroking his long beard. "This is an interesting question. Maybe they assume that prisoners wouldn't feel like prisoners if they had an unobstructed view at the world outside. They could have the bars removed from your window, though. I could ask them to do so, if you'd like."

"Thanks, but why should they treat me any differently than the other criminals? I'm one of them, after all. That's why I'm locked up here."

"No, you're not. You're here because this is the safest place in St. Mungo's. No Death Eater can get in here. It took me half an hour until I passed through all the security checks and they let me in. They even took my wand, although spells wouldn't work in this ward anyway."

"Oh, then you don't know about this?" Serena took a roll of parchment from the nightstand. "It arrived shortly after the explosion. As if I didn't have enough sorrows already." She handed Dumbledore the letter. It was from the Ministry of Magic, informing her that she was to stay at St. Mungo's until her trial would take place in a week's time. Attached was a copy of a warrant of arrest with her name on it and an indictment.

"They found evidence that I was present in several of the houses where entire families have been murdered by Death Eaters. They took some sort of magical fingerprints from the remnants of the curses in the houses. These fingerprints matched with me. Now I'm going to be charged with multiple murders and the repeated use of illegal curses, including Unforgivables. They'll certainly convict me, which means that I'll spend the rest of my life in Azkaban."

Dumbledore shook his head. "This won't happen. I'll personally see to that."

"Yeah, that was my first thought as well, after reading the letter. Albus will sort it out. I'm innocent, so nothing can happen to me. But the problem is how to prove it? The evidence is overwhelming. I was there, I cast the curses. They found plenty of dead bodies. I even have a Dark Mark. No one in their right mind would acquit me."

"They would, if they knew what you really did. If we present the court with -"

"No, we can't," Serena interrupted him, not sure if their conversation was as private as it appeared or if it was listened in on. "You remember Bellatrix Lestrange's prophecy, don't you? It's imperative that we keep our mouths shut, or we can make Voldemort Minister for Magic right away."

Dumbledore grew silent. Serena was right. And she knew that he knew it. If Voldemort heard that a good number of his victims weren't as dead as he believed, this alone would suffice as reason for him to go after them. Certainly he would draw the same conclusions about the prophecy, assuming that one of those people could be what the prophecy called the Sun. And he would do everything to kill them, because the death of the Sun would mean his final victory, his eternal dominion over the wizarding world.

"However, I will find a way. I won't let you down; I won't let them send you to Azkaban," Dumbledore promised before he left.

* * *

During the following week, Serena clung to Dumbledore's parting words, repeatedly telling herself that he never broke a promise. Every time the door to her room opened, she expected him to walk in and present her with a solution to her precarious situation. But it was always someone else; Dumbledore didn't show up.

At the evening before her trial, when she had already abandoned all hope of seeing Dumbledore before the trial took place, Serena finally received post from him. A nurse stuck the letter through a slot in the door, grousing about owls usually arriving in the morning and this untimely letter disturbing her timetable, according to which she should be handing out dinner and not letters. Serena ignored her grumbling and complained that the letter was already ripped open. The nurse only shrugged her shoulders, laconically commenting that it was security regulations, and Serena should be glad that she got letters at all.

After scowling at the nurse and then at the slot after the nurse was gone, Serena sat down on her bed and inspected the brown envelope. It was a bit too heavy for an ordinary letter. The use of an envelope itself was already unusual; wizards normally just rolled their letters up and sealed them. She turned the envelope upside down and shook it. Besides a neatly folded piece of parchment, the envelope also produced a pink greeting card.

Serena unfolded the parchment first. It took her only a minute to read the rather short letter from Dumbledore, which consisted mostly of apologies. Firstly, Dumbledore apologised that he couldn't visit her personally to comfort her, but his presence at the Halloween feast at Hogwarts was required. Secondly, he apologised for not having been able to make a deal with the Ministry of Magic to drop the charges against her in such a short time. Finally, he told her that the entire staff had signed the attached greeting card, wishing her the best for her baby and luck for tomorrow's trial.

Serena lowered the letter, heaving a despairing sigh. Dumbledore's promise to not let her down had kept her going for the last seven days. The prospect of spending the rest of her life in Azkaban hadn't impressed her overmuch, because she hadn't believed that she would really be going there. She was innocent, she didn't deserve this, and she trusted Dumbledore to find a way to spare her this fate.

But life wasn't fair, and this letter proved that Dumbledore was only human and not above the law. Serena took another deep breath, trying to keep calm. He hadn't been able to prevent the trial. That wasn't the same as sending her to Azkaban. There was still the chance to be acquitted. Maybe Dumbledore had found a brilliant defence for her. He wouldn't let her go to Azkaban, he never broke his promises. Ever. Like the promise not to spread the news about her pregnancy?

Serena suspiciously eyed the greeting card. How could the staff know that she was expecting a child, if not from Dumbledore? And why should they send a greeting card to her of all people? The card was ugly, unadulterated kitsch. Three miniaturised sunflowers, looking as if they were real, magically shrunk sunflowers, decorated the front. Small hearts, stars, four-leaved clovers and pictures of chubby, naked baby angels were littered about the surface between the flowers. Exactly the type of tasteless knickknack that Serena wholeheartedly despised.

Hesitantly, she took the card, wavering between reading it first, or throwing it immediately into the wastebasket. The very moment that she touched it, the sunflowers started sprouting strange extensions. Startled, Serena dropped the card. Instantly, it became normal again. Was this some magical enhancement to make this horrendous thing even kitschier?

Serena stared at the card for a whole minute during which it didn't do anything other than lie still on her bed, looking innocent. At last she picked up the bottom corner like a dead rat, touching the smallest possible part of the card with her fingertips, and pushed it open. Again it began to change, but again she missed the undoubtedly cheesy supplement because the card became normal as soon as she let go of it, which was after less than a second. The inside was as disappointing as the outside - it only contained a few empty greeting phrases and undecipherable signatures from the Hogwarts staff.

Having managed to drop her mood beyond the lowest it had ever been, Serena decided to throw the card away. Suddenly the door opened and the Auror who guarded her room all day long put his head in. He gave the room a brief once-over, then bestowed what was supposed to be a threatening glare on Serena and nodded towards the nurse in the corridor. Serena folded her arms in front of her chest and didn't move; after a week in the high-security ward she knew the procedure. She also knew that the Auror was supposed to watch her, in case she suddenly decided to attack the nurse - and not to ogle the nurse who only seemed to posses robes that were too small for her and which conveyed a distinctive impression of the shape of her full breasts and her rounded bottom.

The nurse brought a tray with dinner and put it on Serena's nightstand. Fully aware of where the Auror's eyes were, she wiggled her bottom with every step. On her way out, her eyes fell on the card on Serena's bed. Without so much as asking for permission, she took the card and read it. Serena didn't bat an eyelid when she noticed that the card didn't change, but her heart did a few extra beats. Maybe it was more than just another annoying addition to the greetings.

"What an ugly thing," the nurse commented contemptuously, dropping it back on the bed. Then she left the room, locking the door behind her.

As soon as Serena was alone again, she took the card and watched the inner parts of the sunflowers turning into something very un-flowerlike that she couldn't quite identify. Curiously, she opened the card again. Right in front of her eyes, the greetings vanished and a totally different text appeared.

Serena,

I promised not to let you down, and I will keep my word. Since I couldn't find a legal way out for you in this short time, we will have to put up with an illegal interim solution.

This card will provide you with everything you need to get out of St. Mungo's. It is enchanted to react on your thoughts. If anyone else touches it, it will look like nothing else than a greeting card. It will answer all your questions about your escape.

I will wait for you a little way down the street and take you to a safe place after you have left the hospital.

Albus Dumbledore

That was it. Serena turned it over to see if something was written on the backside, but there was nothing. She opened the card again, wondering how it was supposed to answer her questions.

The text swam in front of her eyes and formed a new sentence.

Just think of a question and you'll see the answer here.

Surprised, Serena looked at the card, being oddly reminded of the Sorting Hat, which was also able to hear the thoughts of the people who wore it.

'Well,' she thought, 'let's try it. What about those flowers on the front? They're weird.'

The last answer became blurred and gave way to new words.

If you look a bit closer at them you'll see that they're bottles. Two of them contain Polyjuice and the third one is filled with a Narcotic Potion.

Serena turned the card again, and behold, two of the sunflowers had sprouted bottlenecks with screwtops. The third one had become soft and a nozzle formed on it to let out its content when the flower was pressed. Serena put the card down and the extras vanished, leaving only three innocent-looking, ugly mini-sunflowers. Impressed, Serena reopened the card and thought about her next question.

'Is the Polyjuice meant to change my appearance, so that I can walk out without being recognised?'

Yes, it is.

'But I can't take it, I'm with child. No one knows what happens to my baby if I change my form.'

The card didn't answer this, and it took Serena a few seconds to realise that she hadn't phrased it as a question.

'What happens to my baby if I take the Polyjuice?' she tried again.

In this early state of your pregnancy your baby won't be harmed. The placenta keeps everything potentially harmful away from the foetus, Polyjuice included. Your child won't be affected as long as you don't change into a man, because males have no organs to accommodate a baby.

For this reason you should wait until eleven p.m. before starting to carry out the plan. The healer who's responsible for you will go home then. The night shift is done by a mediwitch. If you take on her appearance you can walk out of the hospital without anyone hindering you.

'But it still won't work. This is the high-security ward, there're alarms at its exits that detect such disguises. How can I bypass them?'

Not at all. You won't take the Polyjuice in here...

So it went on for quite a while. Serena asked questions and the card answered them. It gave her a detailed description of how the potions were supposed to get Serena out.

When the nurse returned to remove the dinner tray, Serena caught a glimpse of the wall clock at the corridor, which said that it was about ten. She lay down on her bed and began to silently count. After counting up to sixty for sixty times, she hid the greeting card in her knickers and started to scream for help.

The slot in the door opened and her guard gazed into the room.

"What's with you?" he asked, looking annoyed about the disturbance.

"Oh, this pain!" Serena wailed. "My tummy, oh, it hurts so much!" She pressed her hands on her lower belly, writhing as if in incredible agony. Serena even managed a terror-stricken expression when she added, "My baby - something's wrong with my baby! Please, get a healer, quick! Ohhh!"

The Auror instantly disappeared, only to return a minute later. He picked Serena up from the bed and sat her in a wheelchair that he had brought with him.

"I'll take you to treatment room three; the nurse is already getting the healer-in-charge. Put your hands there." He motioned towards the armrests of the wheelchair.

Serena obeyed, but not without pulling a grimace as if she had great difficulties to let go of her aching belly. Magical chains on the armrests snaked their way up Serena's arms, fixing her to the wheelchair. The Auror checked the chains for correct fit and then pushed Serena out of the room.

A force field all over the high-security ward prevented any spells from being successfully cast. This special measure was to ensure that inmates of the ward wouldn't be able to do any magic, neither wandless nor with a wand that somehow got smuggled in. The other side of the coin was that healers couldn't efficiently work without being able to cast Diagnostic or Healing Spells, so the patients had to be taken out of the high-security ward to see a healer.

Serena continued to groan and cry softly until they reached the treatment room just outside the entrance to the high-security ward. The healer-in-charge, a motherly mediwitch, was already there. Her dark hair was only marginally streaked with grey, but her wrinkled face made her look at least sixty.

"Hello, dear. I'm Healer Smethwyck. What's your trouble?" she asked in a friendly tone that surprised Serena. It was no secret that Serena had been accused of multiple murders and was awaiting a trial. Consequently, the hospital staff didn't treat her particularly friendly. The fact that Serena was with child, but without husband, didn't help their attitude towards her either. The mediwitch, however, didn't know about this, or didn't care.

Serena felt immediately sorry for what she was planning to do to her. But it couldn't be helped; this was her only way out.

"My lower belly," she answered, groaning, "It hurts so much. Please, I don't want to lose my baby..."

The mediwitch answered in a reassuring tone, "Calm down, dear, panic won't help you at all. Now tell me, where exactly does it hurt?"

"Here." Serena tapped a random spot at her lower body, continuing to look a picture of misery. When Smethwyck frowned, Serena added quickly, "And here. And here. In fact, everywhere."

"What kind of pain is it? Stinging? Burning? Throbbing? Did you bleed?"

"Erm, stinging. And, erm, no, I don't think so..." Serena started to worry that her incompetent answers would give her away, but Smethwyck's reply dispelled her fears.

"Well, no bleeding's a good sign. It's probably only cramps, they hurt a lot. You should have seen me with my first child - I had many a cramp during the first half of my pregnancy and was worried to no end. But my little Hippocrates has turned out quite a sight. He's becoming a healer-in-training at St. Mungo's next month." Smethwyck smiled, obviously pleased with her son's choice of career. "I should like to look at you a bit closer, though." She turned to the Auror. "Could you remove those handcuffs, please? I need her to lie down."

The Auror opened the cuffs and after a look of encouragement from the healer he helped Serena to get out of the wheelchair and sit on the examination table. He demonstratively positioned himself beside the table, wand drawn and ready to intervene as soon as Serena did anything funny.

"Miss Potter, please take off your nightgown, I'd like to cast a Diagnostic Spell on your lower abdomen," Smethwyck said.

Serena defensively crossed her arms in front of her chest and cast a bashful look at the Auror next to her.

"In front of him? Is this really necessary?" she timidly asked.

Smethwyck reacted exactly like Serena wanted her to. "Okay, you wait outside," she told the Auror.

The Auror shook his head. "No, my job is to guard her. I won't let her out of my sight, not for a single moment." He scrutinised Serena's pleading face and finally made a concession. "I will turn around, okay?"

"And watch me through the mirror? That's not any better." Serena hunched herself up, as if attempting to become invisible out of sheer embarrassment.

"C'mon, you're unmarried and pregnant, how modest can you actually be?" the Auror snapped.

Serena cast him a look as if his comment had hurt her to the quick. "How can you say that? You have no idea of the circumstances that led to my condition." She hung her head with a crestfallen expression, leaving it to him to draw any, probably wrong conclusions from this statement, which would hopefully trigger some sympathy. When he still appeared unmoved, Serena screamed out as if a new wave of pain shook her body.

Smethwyck ran short on patience and ordered the Auror now rather urgently, "By all means, go out. I'm sure I can handle Miss Potter alone. Look at her; does she give the impression as if she is trying to escape? As if she's even capable of doing so?"

The Auror scowled at Smethwyck, but then cast a scrutinising look around. The room didn't have a window nor any other doors. The only possible way to get out was through the door they had come in.

"Well, if you insist," he snarled. "I'll wait right outside. And make your check quick, Healer Smethwyck. I'll come back in ten minutes, regardless of whether you're finished or not." He cast Serena another warning glare and left, taking up position outside the room. The shadow of his head was clearly visible on the frosted glass of the panelled door.

"And now take off your nightgown, dear," Smethwyck said to Serena, taking her wand out of her robe.

Serena turned her back on the mediwitch, as she was even too shy to take her clothes off in front of another woman and started slowly to unbutton her nightgown. When it was open, she took the greeting card out of her knickers, placing the spray-bottle-flower between her thumb and index finger. In a sudden move, Serena turned around and sprayed the Narcotic Potion in Smethwyck's face.

"What the heck -" was all the surprised healer could mutter before the potion took its effect and the witch toppled over, unconscious. Her wand fell out of her grasp and clattered to the floor. Serena caught the mediwitch and heaved her onto the examination table. Then she tore the Polyjuice bottles off the greeting card and placed them beside the unconscious body. She pulled a hair from Smethwyck's head and put it into one of the bottles. While the content of the bottle hissed and changed its colour to a murky orange, Serena did the same with her own hair and the other bottle.

Raising Smethwyck's upper body, Serena poured the content of the second bottle into the healer's mouth and massaged her throat until she swallowed the potion. With fascinated interest, Serena watched the mediwitch getting smaller, her arms and legs becoming shorter, her hands shrinking, and her hair growing longer and darker. A minute later the spitting image of Serena lay on the table.

Serena didn't have a watch and had no idea how many of the ten minutes that the Auror had given them had already passed. So she quickly switched Smethwyck's robes with her nightgown and swallowed the other Polyjuice. The transformation hit her like a hammer. Her insides began writhing and for the first time this evening, Serena twisted her face in genuine pain.

A knock on the door made her jump away from it.

"Healer Smethwyck? Time's up, I'm coming in now," the Auror bellowed, while Serena hastily grabbed the greeting card and the bottles from the examination table and stuffed them into her robe. Not waiting for an answer, the Auror opened the door and stepped in.

Serena put on a neutral expression, hoping that the transformation finished before the Auror looked at her. She was lucky, his interest was aimed at Serena - so he looked at the unconscious figure on the examination table instead of the real Serena, whose hair was still growing shorter and developing grey streaks.

"What's with her?" the Auror asked, lifting his gaze and looking sideways at whom he considered to be the healer.

In this moment the robes that had still been slightly too large for Serena, finally fit perfectly and the strange feeling of being not quite solid disappeared, marking the end of the transformation.

"Well," Serena said, almost jumping at the strange sound that wasn't her own voice. "She was having cramps. I gave her a Relaxing Potion and a Sleeping Draught. You can bring her back to her room now."

Serena hoped that the Auror hadn't been long enough in St. Mungo's to have picked up enough medical knowledge that he would wonder how a Sleeping Draught would be good for cramps.

She stepped towards the exit, but the Auror still blocked the door with his huge figure. He didn't move aside, so Serena couldn't get out.

"Excuse me," she said. "But I have other patients to see to."

The Auror still didn't show any inclination to let her pass. He scrutinised the examination table, frowning.

Serena wondered if he had seen something suspicious. Hadn't she put the nightgown correctly on the false Serena? Had she forgotten to remove all parts of the greeting card? Had Smethwyck woken up? Serena studied the limp form on the table but couldn't see anything treacherous.

"What's that down there?" the Auror asked, pointing under the table.

Serena followed his gaze and froze. Smethwyck's wand lay on the floor. It had dropped to the ground when the healer had lost her consciousness. Serena had completely forgotten about it, occupied with a more pressing task.

"Oh, my wand," she said. The embarrassment in her tone was only half-feigned. "There's this hole in my pocket, you know... It must've slipped through... I never find the time to darn it."

She quickly dived under the table to retrieve the wand. Since it wasn't her own wand, it felt strange in her grip and her fingertips tingled unpleasantly when she slipped it into her robe. With a grunt she stood up again. This body was about three times as old as her own and not suitable for crawling under furniture anymore. She felt every single muscle and bone that was involved in the act of getting up from the floor.

"I'd have missed it soon, no doubt. And then I would've had to search for it all over the hospital," Serena muttered to the Auror. "Thank you for being so observant."

The Auror gave a grunt of acknowledgement and finally made a step aside, letting Serena out. She headed towards the stairwell, glad to get away from the Auror who did his job a bit too well for her liking. Serena forced herself not to hurry. The last thing she needed was to mess up now, when she was so close to getting free.

But she had rejoiced too soon; before she could leave the floor, she heard someone calling, "Healer! Please come quick!"

Serena ground her teeth. What should she do now? If she didn't react to the call she'd behave suspiciously. But if she responded to medical treatment that she wasn't able to perform, it would blow her cover all the more.

"Healer Smethwyck!" A young man ran up to her, the front of his robes covered in bloodstains. A sign on his chest read that he was a healer-in-training, but his name was undecipherable, veiled with blood. "We need your help, there's an emergency!"

"I'll come in a minute. I need to have a look at another patient first, but then I'll come," Serena tried to get rid of him, but the healer-in-training was insistent on her immediate appearance in the emergency room.

"There's no time, your patient has to wait. Come on." He practically dragged Serena away, while she was frantically searching for an excuse to leave.

"My patient is really urgent, isn't there any other healer who can look after your emergency?"

The young wizard shook his head. "No, of course not. This is the night-shift, and you are the healer-in-charge."

He pushed open a double swing-door and after stepping through, Serena stopped dead, staring wide-eyed at the scene in front of her. Her mind broke off its search for an excuse and concentrated its entire capacity on fighting the urge to faint.

A man was lying on a stretcher in the middle of the room, covered in blood that was obviously his own, raggedly breathing and spitting even more blood. He was studded with countless smaller and bigger pricks, as if he had been attacked by a million aggressive giant bees. A couple of nurses and another healer-in-training were swarming around him, giving him vast amounts of Blood Replenishing Potion, repeatedly applying new dressings and trying in vain to stop him from bleeding.

Whatever curse had hit him, it had not only caused the countless injuries but also prevented his blood from clotting. Red liquid incessantly poured out of his numerous wounds, draining him quickly. The dressings rapidly soaked with his blood, changing from white to crimson with a frightening speed. He couldn't drink the potions they gave him fast enough to compensate the rapid loss of blood.

"His name's Wilkes," the wizard by her side informed her. "A Death Eater. Had a violent encounter with an Auror. Wouldn't come quietly, so they exchanged some nasty curses. He won't last much longer if you don't find a way to stop him bleeding like a stuck pig."

He started to list what they had already attempted - spells, charms and potions that would make blood clot, close wounds, accelerate the growth of new skin and several means that Serena hadn't heard of ever before and had no idea what they were good for either.

Long before the healer-in-training finished his listing, Serena was certain that she wouldn't be able to help. She wasn't a healer; she had absolutely no idea what to do. Even if she had known it, she wouldn't have been able to do it properly with a wand that didn't belong to her. The sight of blood, spilled practically everywhere and on everyone, wasn't helpful either.

Serena noticed the expectant gaze directed at her. The young man apparently awaited instructions.

"Well," she began half-heartedly, trying to concentrate on an answer and not the sickening sight. "What about, erm, temporarily transfiguring his skin - or his blood vessels - into something - well - impermeable..." Serena trailed off, taking a couple of deep breaths to prevent everything from swimming in front of her eyes. Damnit, she thought, if the Polyjuice had given her the appearance of the mediwitch, why not also the strength of her stomach? A healer who couldn't stand the sight of blood - if this wasn't likely to blow her disguise, nothing was.

Another problem came to her dizzy mind. If she passed out, there was a good chance that she might not wake up again before the Polyjuice wore off. She needed to stay conscious at all costs.

Serena closed her eyes to shut off the picture of blood everywhere. She was sure that she was as white as a sheet - a distinct and treacherous sign that doubtless gave her away as soon as someone found the time to cast a look at her. The floor was shaking beneath her feet when suddenly a pair of strong arms grabbed her and steered her to a chair. Serena felt a refreshing breeze on her forehead and heard a male voice talk to her. It sounded as if he was calling to Serena from far away, but when she opened her eyes she saw his worried face right in front of her. Well, at least he obstructed Serena's view of the bleeding Death Eater.

"What's with you, Healer Smethwyck? You look like fainting at any moment."

"I swear, those pies I had for dinner tasted funny," Serena managed to mutter.

Suddenly she noticed that the hectic activity had died down and most of the people left the emergency room. "What now? Has the bleeding stopped?" she asked.

"However you look at it. Wilkes doesn't bleed anymore. But he isn't alive either."

Someone spread a sheet over the man, covering him from toes to head, and levitated him out. Another young witch started throwing Cleaning Spells around, removing the blood from the floor, the walls, and all other surfaces.

"I... I'm sorry... If I'd helped him..." Serena whispered.

"Don't worry," the healer-in-training said in a calming tone. "Merlin knows if you could have helped him at all. He'd already lost so much blood before he came here. It was a fight against time, and we lost. He lost. Well, it was his choice. He should have known what he was risking - duelling with an Auror. However, you'll want to take some Pepperup Potion or chocolate before the next patient needs you, Healer."

Serena nodded and got up. "Yes, I will. I have some in my office."

She left the emergency room as fast as she could without actually running. Hearing the door leading to the stairwells snapping shut behind her at last, she leaned her forehead against the cool metal of the railing and simply stood there for a while. When she felt better, she realised with a start that she had totally forgotten the time. She wasn't sure when she had taken the Polyjuice, but it couldn't be long before it wore off. Hurriedly, she descended the stairs.

When she passed the reception area, now dim, quiet and deserted except for the night-watchman, she felt a tugging in her limbs that could only mean one thing. The watchman confirmed her fears; he stared at her, at first confused, then frowning. He rose from his seat and reached for his wand.

It was about a dozen steps to reach the exit. Serena threw all caution to the winds and broke into a run. Storming towards the door, she ignored the watchman's shouts at her to halt. The exit to the street was so close, she could make it - only five more steps and she would be out.

She dodged a curse from the watchman that struck the wall in front of her. And only three steps to freedom.

Serena saw herself already outside the building when she tripped on the hem of her robe. After the Polyjuice had worn off, Smethwyck's clothes had become too large for Serena's significantly smaller body. She lost her balance and fell flat on her face. Hitting the floor, she felt the impact of a Full Body Bind Spell, which made it impossible for her to get up again.

Her momentum caused her to slide a bit further on the smooth marble floor. For a fraction of a second she even thought she would slide through the door, but she came to a final halt exactly in front it. Her outstretched hands almost touched the solid looking wall that wasn't solid at all.

Serena cursed her bad luck. The exit was only one inch away and she couldn't get out! She could have cried out in frustration.

The watchman came nearer, his wand cautiously drawn at her. "Looks like you won't go anywhere tonight," he said to her, rattling some magical chains.

At that moment a hand reached from outside through the exit and seized Serena's arm. An abrupt jerk and the following sensation of being swirled around gave her hardly settled stomach a lurch.

When she was back on terra firma, the ground beneath her wasn't the hard, smooth marble floor of St. Mungo's anymore, but cool, damp grass. She was back in control of her limbs and a hooded figure helped her to get up.

When Serena recognised Albus Dumbledore, she gave him an enthusiastic hug. "Oh, Professor! That was perfect timing!"

"Good evening, Serena. I was waiting for you, and when you didn't come, I went to investigate - which seemed to be a good thing. What held you up for so long that the Polyjuice wore off in the meantime?"

While Serena gave him a description of the previous hour, she looked around. The night was pitch-dark; not even the moon or stars were visible. Dumbledore's lit wand didn't reveal much besides the fact that they stood in a grassy clearing in a forest.

Because she had arrived in a lying position, the front of her robe was soaked with dew. This and the cold night made Serena shiver. Dumbledore cast a drying charm on her and put a warm cloak on her shoulders. He had also brought thick socks and boots in her size, which Serena was especially thankful for because Smethwyck's slippers as such weren't at all suitable for keeping her feet warm.

"If I hadn't impersonated Healer Smethwyck, perhaps Wilkes would still be alive. Perhaps she would have known a way to help him..." Serena finished her account, trailing off.

Wilkes had been a Death Eater, and he certainly had never had any qualms about killing his victims. Still Serena felt guilty for not being able to prevent his death, when Smethwyck might have been.

"This we may never know," Dumbledore answered benignly. "Perhaps she could have helped him, perhaps not. According to what you told me, his chances of survival had been less than poor. In all likelihood he would have died anyway."

When Serena didn't answer, Dumbledore added, "Serena, I don't want to advise you to just put this incident aside and forget it. Even if he was a Death Eater, he was still a living human being. But don't burden yourself with the entire blame for his death, just because you might have unwittingly prevented Healer Smethwyck from saving him. There were plenty of other causes that contributed to his death, things you had no influence over. It was his choice to fight the Auror, it was the Auror who cast the curse - and it was me, after all, who told you to impersonate the healer."

"Yes, you truly surprised me. I'd never have thought that you of all people would fall back to illegal methods to gain a goal. Not that I'd complain..."

"Well," Dumbledore answered, sighing. "I'd have preferred not to, but I just couldn't find any legal way to help you - and believe me, I have tried. I spent the last week visiting friends and meeting most of the Ministry executives. They were all very courteous to me, feeling flattered that I would ask a favour of them, but no one was able, or willing, to drop your charges or reach a settlement that spares you Azkaban without being given a convincing reason. My proclaiming your innocence wasn't convincing enough, apparently. My influence is unfortunately not as great as people believe. I also spoke with several people about your chances of being acquitted. They were all quite unanimous - they reckon that you'll be convicted. Me vouching for you, but not giving reason why I deem you innocent wouldn't be of much help, they said."

"The evidence against me is overwhelming, I suppose," Serena muttered. She had cast those curses to make the fake crime scenes more authentic, and she had considered it a good idea then. But it had turned out that she had done herself a great disservice by leaving evidence of her presence there. But who would know that the Ministry had a brand new method of finding out the caster of curses by using their magical remnants in the air?

"Unfortunately, yes," Dumbledore answered. "I had a long discussion with Moody, but in this short time, neither of us saw any other way to keep you from Azkaban than helping you to escape from St. Mungo's and playing for time. We waited until the last night before your trial, still hoping that another possibility would present itself to us. But it didn't, and so I sent you this greeting card. By the way, in case you wondered - the signatures are false, none of the professors know about your baby."

Serena pulled the cloak tighter around her shoulders. The cold was even seeping through the thick material, making her shiver again. But the assurance that Dumbledore hadn't broken his promise gave her a warm feeling inside.

"This card was a brilliant idea, but why was it that ugly? Couldn't you find something less atrocious? I hated it at first glance and almost threw it away without recognising its secret meaning."

"Well, I chose this less-attractive card deliberately. I hoped that no one would feel inclined to look too closely at something that insults the eye to such an extent. Thus increasing the chances of it passing the security checks. And it worked, apparently."

Serena was stunned. It seemed like Dumbledore had spent much time and effort on her case. He had also risked a great deal for her. And she had doubted him, she thought, ashamed.

"The Ministry is certainly setting Aurors on my trail. They'll know that I had help. Since you were the only person who visited me in St. Mungo's - apart from my late parents - and you have quite actively campaigned for my freedom you'll be the primary suspect."

Dumbledore regarded Serena with one of his typical looks, with a merry sparkle in his eyes that was even discernible in the dim light. "Don't worry, Serena, I have an alibi. I had brewed Polyjuice Potion anyway, so I gave some of it to Moody, and he's attending the Halloween feast at Hogwarts in place of me right now. If someone should ask, plenty of professors and students will be ready to testify that I haven't left Hogwarts for the entire evening."

"And if someone saw you in front of St. Mungo's while you were waiting for me? Or before you Disapparated with me?"

"I made a point of not being recognised, keeping myself hooded and in the shadows. But if anyone still saw me, they would have forgotten about it at the very next moment."

"Wow," Serena uttered, impressed. She didn't know many people who were able to master the necessary charm. Unfortunately, she wasn't one of them. This would have helped her a lot, now that she was a fugitive from law.

"With plenty of Death Eaters and Aurors on my heels I won't stay free for long," she expressed her thoughts.

"I've taken this into account as well."

Dumbledore went to the edge of the clearing, waving Serena to follow him. Curiously, Serena tagged along. He pointed towards a beech-tree and she saw that a couple had long ago carved a heart and their initials into the tree-trunk. The letters were scarcely decipherable anymore.

"I have turned this heart into a Portkey. If you touch it, it'll take you to Two Oaks, a small village in Iowa. Within a radius of about a hundred miles there's nothing but prairie, a few trees and rocks. Above all else, there are no wizards or witches except Henrietta," Dumbledore explained. "Henrietta Billings is a dear old friend of mine. Her husband died a few years ago and they didn't have any children, so she feels a bit lonely and would love to take you in her house and give a few of the empty rooms to you. All she asks you in return is to help out with the housework, because Henrietta isn't as young as she used to be. She's a very nice old lady and I'm sure you'll get on splendidly together."

"Who knows that I'm there? How safe is this place?"

"Only I, and Henrietta of course, will know about your whereabouts. I took the liberty of placing a couple of charms on her house that will make it quite difficult for anyone to find you there. Moody knows that you'll be leaving the country, but not where you are going. He'll see to it that he'll be given the task of recapturing you. And he'll be doing his job very conscientiously, I'm sure. He'll be combing Great Britain quite thoroughly for you."

Again Serena could see the roguish twinkle in Dumbledore's eyes. She was baffled. Albus thought of everything.

"And when Lord Voldemort is defeated," Dumbledore added, "and we won't have to hide your spying anymore, I'll see to it that your name will be officially cleared and you can return to Britain."

Dumbledore rummaged through his pockets and produced a small bag.

"Here," he said, placing it in Serena's hand. "This will make the beginning of a new life easier for you."

The bag gave a soft jingling sound when Serena took it. The weight indicated a considerable number of coins in it, and when Serena opened it, she noticed that they all shone golden.

"Merlin, so many Galleons!" she cried out, surprised. "That must be more than I have ever possessed!" She looked at Dumbledore again. "I can't take this, it's too much!"

"No, it's not. You need a new wand, and good quality wands aren't cheap. You also need a lot of other things, since you are leaving with nothing more than the clothes you stand up in. Not to forget the baby clothes, toys and equipment, which you'll need soon."

Serena grudgingly admitted to herself that it was most sensible to take the money. "Thank you very much, then. But I'll give it back to you. I certainly will."

"Well, if you insist," Dumbledore indulged her.

Serena was sure that he wouldn't mind if she didn't repay the money to him, perhaps he even counted on her forgetting it with time. But she was determined to pay every single galleon back. Dumbledore had done so much for her that she owed him for the rest of her life, even if she didn't accept a small fortune as a gift from him.

When she put the purse in her robes, her fingers brushed over hard wood.

"Speaking of wands," she said, retrieving the mediwitch's wand. "This belongs to Healer Smethwyck. I'm sure she'd love to get it back."

Dumbledore took it, nodding. "I'll see to that."

"I don't know how to thank you for all your help," Serena muttered quietly.

"You did so much for others; it was high time that someone did something for you. Now go, find some peace, and take care for your child. And who knows, maybe we'll meet again sooner than you think."

For lack of eloquent expressions to describe her emotions, Serena gave the older wizard another tight hug. Then she put her hand on the beech tree, right on the middle of the heart. She felt a tug behind her navel cutting the ground from under her feet. Colourful, swirling spirals reached for her and took her away to another place in another country on another continent - and a new life.