Heaven and Hell

8th Chapter - The Animagus Spell

(February 1977)

January became February, and Serena's studies with Sirius progressed faster than she had expected. While discussing topics of the Animagus book Serena noted, astonished, that Sirius could handle the matter more seriously than she had thought possible of him.

Spending so much time with Sirius also revealed to Serena that she hadn't known him half as well as she had believed. He proved that her picture of him as a carefree prankster wasn't completely wrong, but extremely one-sided. There was a great deal more to him, qualities she never had noticed before.

The way he explained the preparations to perform the spell, or their importance for the successfulness of the transformation, showed her that he possessed more brains than she had given him credit for. Sirius was an intelligent boy, and if he would invest a bit more of his intelligence in his schoolwork instead of planning new practical jokes, his already considerable marks could easily have become excellent.

Sirius seemed to be in great sprits almost all the time. His good mood was contagious and he often sprinkled his teaching with witty remarks, which made Serena regularly burst out laughing.

Surprisingly, she found that she enjoyed Sirius' company immensely. During the day, she repeatedly caught herself reminiscing about the last session with Sirius, or impatiently counting the hours until the next one.

In a History of Magic lesson, she realised with a start that she wasn't musing over Sirius' last lesson, but rather his black, shoulder-length hair. It had smelled like a forest after rain, as if he'd washed it just before they'd met. She wondered why she noticed something so irrelevant like the smell of his hair at all. Or, for that matter, why she could remember so well the way his muscular chest and upper arms had filled his tight shirt, as well as how his muscles played under the fabric when Sirius had moved his arm to show her an important note, of which she couldn't remember a single word.

Could it be that she was falling for him? Falling for a boy whom she'd known as long as she could remember? The one who rubbed mud in her hair when they were five years old? The boy that had always been her brother's best friend and nothing else? A boy... well, he was a boy, after all.

The next time Serena entered the dungeon where she always met Sirius, she could neither suppress nor ignore the nervousness that had taken possession of her. Seeing that Sirius wasn't there yet, she released the breath that she had been involuntarily holding. Checking the time, she saw that she was ten minutes early.

To calm down and get her mind off Sirius, she sat down on a table, dangling her legs, and took the Daily Prophet out of her bag. After skimming the newspaper for a couple of minutes without remembering any of its content, she heard the door to the dungeon open with a creak. Sirius entered, greeting her cheerfully. Immediately, Serena's heart began, once again, to pound. Despite her nervousness she managed to greet him back with an almost normal sounding voice.

Sirius settled down next to Serena on the same table and opened the Animagus book, placing it in his lap. After a few vain attempts at small talk with an unnaturally quiet Serena he finally started with that day's lesson.

It turned out to be arduous. Sirius did his best to convey a precise picture of the change that the rearranging molecules went through to Serena, and from time to time she nodded and made non-committal noises. But when he asked her questions, she needed ages to come up with an answer that was even close to correct.

With a frown, Sirius broke off his lecture and asked, "Are you able to repeat anything of what I said in the last five minutes?"

It took Serena a few seconds to realise that Sirius was waiting for an answer. She closed her eyes. 'I have to concentrate!' she reprimanded herself silently. 'Concentrate on Sirius' words, and not his appearance. Certainly I can give an answer. If I had only listened to his question!'

In that moment, Sirius slid closer to her and grabbed her in a headlock. Serena froze, feeling his chest, radiating heat and touching her side. One of his ribs pressed against the side of her breast, causing sparks of indescribable sensations to shoot through her body. Her cheeks flushed and she could feel them burning with embarrassment.

Oblivious of the effect he had on Serena, Sirius tousled her hair with his other hand, calling in a mocking tone, "Good morning, Potty! Time to wake up!"

Serena stared at him, wide-eyed and dumbfounded.

Sirius grinned broadly, and seeing her baffled expression, he explained, "When we were little, it used to make you furious and never failed to bring you out of your shell. I was trying to get your attention since you seem more than just a bit distracted today."

"That was successful, I dare say," Serena mumbled, having still not fully recovered from the surprise.

"Good," Sirius said, "then we could perhaps continue? Or maybe we should finish for today and continue when you're more receptive?"

Sirius looked at Serena, waiting for an answer, when he suddenly stiffened. Apparently he had finally become aware of their position. His eyes transfixed on Serena's flushed cheeks, but he made no move to remove his arm from her shoulders. Slowly, his gaze moved over her face, as if he saw it for the first time and needed to memorise each tiny detail. The survey ended at her eyes, and he returned her stare with a strange look, filled with yearning and desire.

Serena's head spun. Still unable to move, she wondered if Sirius perhaps returned her feelings?

As if reading her thoughts, Sirius answered her unspoken question by muttering, "James'll probably kill me for this..."

Then he bent his arm a little more, drawing Serena closer to him, until their faces were only millimetres apart from each other. He cast a last glimpse at her, as if to verify that she wasn't recoiling, and then, closing his eyes, he covered her lips with his mouth.

* * *

The next evening, Serena, Severus, and Narcissa sat together in the Slytherin common room, busy with their respective homework. At least Severus and Narcissa were working. Serena was merely sitting in her armchair, neglecting the open book in her lap. She had given up any pretence to be busy and had leaned back comfortably. Resting her head on the chair-back and sucking at a sugar quill, she was musing over the previous night.

She could still feel a slight tingle at her lips when she recalled Sirius' kiss. In that moment she had felt utter bliss, being at ease with the world. Nothing else had been important. But later, when she had lain in her bed, doubts had crept over her, and they were still occupying her thoughts.

Was it wise to get involved with Sirius of all people? Surely not. Severus was her best friend, and Sirius was one of his archenemies. How would Severus react if she told him about her feelings for Sirius? Most likely anything but enthusiastically. But she had never been kissed like that before, never felt that way before. She wanted to repeat the experience. Perhaps it was best if she didn't tell Severus. At least not right now. She already had secrets from him; one more wouldn't make a big difference.

Eyes half closed, her gaze rested on Severus, who sat opposite her, doing his homework. He was sitting upright on his chair, a bit stiff, as usual. His left hand rested on the Arithmancy book, marking a passage with his index finger, while he wrote down the results of his thoughts with the other hand. Severus was working with full concentration, not letting the strands of black hair dangling in front of his eyes distract him.

When he turned his head so that most of his face wasn't visible to Serena, she could almost imagine Sirius sitting there.

She had never consciously discerned it before, but there were a lot of similarities between Severus and Sirius. Their figures were almost identical - slim, in Severus' case nearly gaunt, and a great deal taller than Serena's. This didn't say much since Serena was pretty small, but they were also taller than most of their fellow students. Both had to duck through the low door when they entered the Charms classroom.

The most striking similarity was probably their hair: jet black and shoulder-length. It was slightly wavy in Sirius' case, while Severus had completely straight hair. Suddenly Serena felt the urge to touch Severus' hair, to check if it only looked greasy or if it really was.

Their common features weren't limited to appearance, though. Both had lively, bright minds, which enabled them to proficiently solve complex problems, like planning a retaliatory strike to get back on the other for his last prank. They hated each other with equal passion. And they were strong. Severus had already proven that he could lift Serena as if she weighed nothing. After spending so much time with inspecting Sirius' muscles she didn't doubt that Sirius was capable of doing that as well.

Serena's musings were interrupted when Narcissa rose from her chair. Stifling a yawn, she said, "I'm tired, it's late, and my home work for tomorrow's done. I'm going to bed now."

Nodding in agreement and stretching his sore back muscles, Severus mumbled, "Good idea." He started to gather his parchment, quill and inkbottle, stuffing everything in his bag. "What about you, Serena?" he asked.

"I'm not finished with my work, but I doubt that I'm able to conjure a coherent sentence and write it down at the moment. Sleeping sounds enticing." She closed the book in her lap, rising from the armchair. "Good night, Severus."

With these words, Serena grabbed her belongings and followed Narcissa to their dormitory.

* * *

February was nearing its end when on a gloomy afternoon Serena was sitting on her bed, listlessly leafing through James' Animagus book. Since the evening when Sirius had kissed her for the first time, her progress on the subject had come to a standstill.

After frittering away two weeks with snogging instead of learning, her Animagus education had come to a complete halt a week ago. Since then, she spent her spare time in her bed, the curtains drawn. She wasn't doing much, only staring into space, sometimes crying, and often mentally cursing herself for being so foolish.

Lunchtime was near, but she wasn't hungry. Even if she had been, she wouldn't have gone to the Great Hall. She had already missed breakfast and a lot more meals since Valentine's Day. If Narcissa hadn't been so insistent about it, Serena would have missed every meal at every day. If she'd had a choice, she would have stayed in bed the whole time, missing lessons too, not willing to face anyone.

The door to the dorm opened and from the sound of the footsteps Serena could tell that it was Narcissa who entered in a hurry. Serena could barely hide the book under her pillow before Narcissa opened the curtains and jumped onto the bed.

"You never guess what happened," she excitedly told Serena, trying to get her breath back. Apparently she had run all the way to the dorm, eager to share the news with her friend.

Without any trace of enthusiasm, Serena replied, "Then I won't. I'm not interested in it anyway."

"But you really should be, because it involved Severus and Sirius Black."

Serena lifted her head. Severus and Sirius? She wasn't sure if this information changed her mind or if she now didn't want to hear it at all.

In any case, Narcissa didn't wait for her to come to terms with herself and continued, "Severus has spent the night in the medical ward. Rumours are that Black played a prank on Severus last night, and that he overdid it this time and nearly killed Severus. Rumours are also that Black did that deliberately."

Suddenly, life came in Serena's indifferent expression. Shocked, she exclaimed, "Oh no! How's Sev? Is he all right?" As an afterthought, she added, "Sirius wouldn't actually try to kill him, would he? What exactly did he do?"

Narcissa shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. I've asked around but no one seems to know anything definite. You could ask Severus, of course. If he's going to tell anyone what happened, it would be you." She sighed. "But you'd need to stop wallowing in self pity and leave your bed for that."

Serena had already grabbed a shoe from under her bed, fumbling with the laces. Her current despondent state wasn't Severus' fault and she wanted to know if he was all right. She just hoped that she wouldn't meet Sirius on her way to the infirmary.

Narcissa stopped her. "I didn't say you should go immediately. As far as I've heard, Madam Pomfrey already discharged Severus and he's at the Headmaster's office right now."

Serena slipped off her shoe and dropped it back on the floor. Dismissively, she answered, "Ok, then I'll wait until he returns. Thanks for telling me."

She laid down on her stomach, turning her back on Narcissa, and expected Narcissa to go and leave her alone again. But her wish wasn't fulfilled, Narcissa showed no intention to leave.

"In the meantime we could talk a bit, don't you think?"

"No."

As if she hadn't heard Serena, Narcissa continued, "I really don't get it. What has happened between the two of them that Black even tries to kill Severus?"

Hoping that Narcissa would finally give up and leave, Serena stayed silent.

But Narcissa could be as obstinate as Serena. "I know, they always couldn't stand each other. But since Valentine's Day it's got worse. Much worse. And I can't help the impression that it must have had something to do with your date. Why won't you tell me what happened?"

"Because you'd probably laugh at me. Or think I'm stupid." Serena bit her tongue. She hadn't wanted to say that aloud.

Narcissa shook her head. "Don't worry, I think already you're sometimes stupid, or you'd never have accepted the invitation of Hogwarts biggest skirt chaser to the Valentine's Day ball. And I promise, I won't laugh. Come on, you'll certainly feel better if you pour out your heart to me."

"He's no skirt chaser," came the huffy reply. "That's just his reputation. Which is wrong."

"Says the girl who's been dumped after one evening, wearing a love bite on her neck. And why on earth are you still defending him? Did he hex your brain or what?"

"It wasn't only one evening," Serena said, turning around again and facing Narcissa.

Noticing that Narcissa's arched eyebrows almost reached her hairline, Serena sighed. "You must swear that you won't breathe a word about it to anyone or I won't tell you anything more."

Narcissa thought for a moment, desire for gossip battling with the fact that even if she knew it, she wasn't supposed to share it. After a moment she said, "I need to hear this. Ok, I swear, I keep it to me."

Taking a deep breath, Serena steeled herself for sharing the most embarrassing experience in her life. "Well, firstly, Sirius' invitation didn't come out of the blue," she began. "We'd already been seeing each other for a while, on the sly."

She fervently hoped that Narcissa wouldn't inquire about the reason or details of their earlier meetings. After all, she couldn't tell her about the Animagus lessons.

But Narcissa was obviously too stunned to say anything but, "You met with him before?"

"Yes, and we had a great time. He's smarter than you'd think, and funny too. And he's a good kisser." Serena felt the tips of her ears starting to burn at the confession. Fortunately they were covered with hair. "It was wonderful, he made me feel as if I had a whole bunch of butterflies in my stomach. And we decided to make Valentine's Day our special day. Go together to the ball, make our relationship publicly known, do the next step -"

"Merlin's beard!" Narcissa cried out, beside herself with agitation. "Please tell me that you don't mean that you slept with him!"

"But I mean exactly this."

"Oh no! How could you!"

"I'm sixteen, almost seventeen, after all. It seems as if I'm the last virgin here, hearing you always rhapsodise about Lucius Malfoy, or Melissa about Nicholas Lestrange, or Patricia about whoever her lover of the week is," Serena replied defensively. "That's sometimes so frustrating. I wanted to know what it feels like, and I thought, Sirius could be the right one for this."

Narcissa covered her face with her hands, shaking her head. In a serious tone, she said, "For your information, Patricia's a slut and you don't want to be like her. Melissa's only boasting, and since when do you care about her? And I have never claimed that I had ever gone that far with Lucius. Oh, why didn't you ask me beforehand? I would've talked you out of this idiocy."

Narcissa froze suddenly, when a new, horrible thought hit her. "That bastard!" she exclaimed. "So he bedded you and afterwards he dumped you? How dare he!"

"Calm down, it wasn't exactly like that - maybe a bit - but it wasn't his fault alone."

"Indeed? In what way?"

"Well, we went to the feast together. After we had enough of dancing, we left the castle to get some fresh air. Sirius led me to a beautiful place at the lake, hidden behind a large hedge and with a fantastic view over the water. A blanket, enchanted with a Warming Charm, a picnic-basket and lit candles were already waiting. It was truly romantic." Serena sighed, almost smiling at the memory.

"The picnic was delicious, and dessert... well... it was obviously not his first dessert, he seemed to know exactly what he was doing."

Curiosity had apparently replaced Narcissa's outrage, because now she was listening with rapt attention. "And what did he?"

"He showed me some very interesting things. His kisses... I just can't describe. Wherever he touched me, it felt as if he set my skin on fire. And then..." She trailed off. Blushing, she said, "Let's say it was something I can't compare with anything I've experienced before. He was so gentle, it didn't even hurt much, only for a second. Then it was just great until... until..." She started to stammer, couldn't bring herself quite to say it.

Narcissa took Serena's hand, squeezing it encouragingly.

With a guilty look, Serena confessed, "I was not very quiet. I... I didn't pay much attention as to what escaped my throat, I can't even remember if it were real words or only inarticulate noises. Anyway, when it came to an end, when I came, I cried his name - or so I thought. And Sirius suddenly stiffened, his whole body went rigid. He stared at me, incredulity written all over his face. He shouted, 'What? I can't believe this!' And I asked, startled, 'What is it? What's with you?' But he didn't answer. His face was furious, and he got up, grabbed his clothes and left, literally run away."

"That was absolutely insensitive. I can't understand that you still defend him after being so rude to you." Narcissa shook her head, aggravated.

"I had no idea what that was about, but I was determined to find it out. The next day I cornered him, asking him what the hell had got into him. He was upset that I apparently didn't know. But finally he told me what had jarred him."

Since she didn't continue, Narcissa impatiently urged her friend, "Merlin, you drive me crazy, Serena. Spill it out, what was it?"

If it was possible, Serena blushed even more. She cast her eyes down, unable to look into Narcissa's face while she struggled to answer. "I... didn't cry out his name. It was just a slip of my tongue, but it ruined everything."

"And? What WAS it?" Narcissa groaned, running out of patience.

"I said 'Severus'. And I didn't even notice it. But Sirius did. And he told me that he could overlook a lot, but not that. And that it would be better if we didn't see each other anymore." Serena snuffled despairingly, hiding her face in her hands.

"Great, huh? I contrive to mess up everything. Not only that I drove him away, now Sirius's apparently jealous of Sev, utterly groundless, just because I'm unable to articulate correctly."

"Groundless? I doubt it. Freudian slips aren't groundless. You obviously fancy Severus!" Narcissa rejoiced, grinning like a Cheshire cat. "I always knew you and Severus were made for each other. Oh, that's splendid!"

"No, that's utter rubbish. Severus only sounds similar to Sirius. I couldn't have meant him, or I would had said Sev, not Severus. This slip means nothing. It mustn't!"

"But why not?"

"Because Sev's my friend. My dearest and closest friend. I'll never find a friend like him again. I don't want to lose him."

"Lose? But you wouldn't lose him."

"Oh yes, I would! Sev has never shown any sign of that kind of interest in me. If I told him I fancied him, it'd probably embarrass him. Certainly it'd destroy our friendship, or at least affect it negatively. I'm not even sure if I have such feelings for him. Since he's my best friend, it's only natural that I think of him quite often. It was just a very unfortunate moment to do so."

"Serena, who are you trying to convince that you're not interested in Severus? Me or yourself? You can spare your effort in any case. It doesn't matter what I think, and you can't deceive yourself."

"I don't. I'm just... uncertain about my feelings. Anyway, I want to remind you of your promise to not tell anyone, and this means especially Sev. He mustn't know, in any case. We are only friends and I want it to stay that way."

Narcissa nodded in agreement. "Of course I'll keep my promise. I won't tell Severus anything."

Serena looked suspiciously at Narcissa. This answer had come a tad too fast for her liking.

"And I forbid you to try to play match-maker or encourage Sev to anything by dropping mysterious hints. Is that clear?"

Judging by Narcissa's pouted mouth, Serena had obviously correctly guessed Narcissa's ulterior thoughts. Intransigent, Serena stared at her friend until Narcissa threw her hands in the air in a resigning gesture and answered, "Ok, ok. I won't try anything. But I'm still convinced that you're making a mistake here."

* * *

Confiding in Narcissa had had a relieving effect on Serena. She finally gave up her sulky demeanour and step-by-step resumed her normal life again. If she could help it, she avoided being in the same room as Sirius, though. This also meant that she didn't meet him for further Animagus lessons, but fortunately James had recovered from his cold and could return to Serena's tutoring. After nearly a month's pause, she recommenced with new energy and determination.

Weeks passed and with every new day the sun managed to drive the winter a bit farther away. The days grew longer and warmer, spring passed, and the advent of summer became evident.

Even if Serena still often got the impression that they were stuck, James assured her that they were making good progress. Many wizards wouldn't come that far in their entire life, whereas Serena had worked through the book and understood the concepts in less than six months.

James had begun to perform the preparation spells on Serena a couple of weeks ago. These spells were necessary to gradually adjust her metabolism. They would enable her body to cope with the extensive changes that it would undergo with every transformation. They also laid the foundation for the ability to trigger the later conversions with a mere thought and no need of a wand.

During the last weeks, James had brought several objects and small animals with him. He had made Serena turn them into animals of almost every kind until she could do it with her eyes shut. He had even allowed Serena to transfigure him ad nauseam. Even if giving someone else an animal form was done with a different spell that was much easier, it was still a good way to prepare for performing the Animagus spell. The last three sessions James had magicked Serena into various animals in order to give her an impression how it was to be in another, non-human shape.

Now, all the prerequisites were met, and all possible training was done. This evening Serena would attempt to get over the last hurdle - her first Animagus transformation. This was the most complicated part of the entire project, and also the part that could have the direst consequences if not performed correctly.

When Serena entered the dungeon, James was already waiting for her. Remus and Peter were present too. She stopped dead upon seeing them.

"What do they want here?" she asked James warily.

"They want to watch. They don't believe that you'll succeed tonight. And the spell can be dangerous, you know. If something should go wrong, it's better to have some people ready to help you, or at least try to."

'Fortunately, they didn't bring Sirius along,' Serena thought somewhat relieved. 'I certainly couldn't concentrate if he was here.'

Aloud, she said, "Ok, then let the show begin."

Serena closed the door behind her and went to the table where James stood, holding a parchment. Moving closer, she recognised it as the Animagus spell's incantation.

When she reached for it, James drew back, not letting her take it. "Not so fast," he interrupted her. "You know, the spell requires absolute concentration. At first you should do the relaxation exercise I've shown you to free your mind of all unnecessary burdens."

Fifteen minutes later, James scrutinised Serena's expression and, satisfied with what he saw, he handed the parchment over to her. Serena read the words out, striving to adhere to everything that James had taught her. But when she finished the incantation, nothing happened.

"Well, it would have been a miracle if you'd accomplished the transformation with the first try," James commented on her failure. "It wasn't even bad, only the intonation wasn't quite right. Try it again."

And Serena tried it again. And again, and again, and again. Eventually James found nothing to criticise about the intonation anymore, but it still didn't work.

"Unfortunately I can't look into your mind, so I can't tell you what you're doing wrong. But you need to establish a certain kind of feeling and thinking to make the transformation happen. Remember the book, it was explained there," James tried to help her.

Serena nodded and recalled the chapter of the Animagus book that James referred to. Three attempts later she still was in her human form, filling with growing disappointment.

James took the paper from her, folding it, and opened the door. "I think we should call it a night. Don't be sad, Serena. It's better that nothing happens rather than getting stuck halfway through the transformation. We'll try it again tomorrow night."

Serena wanted to protest, wanted to repeat the spell a few more times. Peter changed into his rat form and scurried out of the door. Serena watched him disappear into the corridor, sighing. Her goal had been so near, and now it had receded into the distance again. All she wanted was to be able to transform and scurry through the corridors without being identified by others like Peter did. Feeling the yearning rise within her, she suddenly knew what had been missing.

She snatched the parchment back from her brother's hand and recited the words again, this time also concentrating on the part of her that was wild and untamed. The part of her that she mostly kept hidden under the surface. The part of her that she had tried to suppress tonight as usual, in order to be able to concentrate harder.

The Animagus spell would turn her into an animal that corresponded to her true character. That meant she wouldn't transform as long as she wasn't completely herself. This was the main reason why most wizards never mastered the Animagus spell. People played roles, didn't show their true self to other people. This went so far that they often didn't even know anymore who they really were. Because of that they couldn't completely be themselves and as a result they couldn't transform.

Suddenly the dungeon around her began to grow. James and Remus did as well. They grew? No, Serena shrank. The boys stared at her, astonished. Did she something wrong? Had she messed up the spell, shrinking herself instead of transfiguring? Worried, she lifted her hand to look how small her fingers had become. But she didn't have a hand anymore; instead she was looking at a furry paw. It was equipped with claws that she could draw in! She hadn't been able to do that with her fingernails. Curiously, she looked farther down at herself. Sitting on her backside now, she was able to count four legs. Her whole body was covered with grey-brown fur, sprinkled with spots and stripes. And she was able to hear and smell things she hadn't noticed before. James and Remus' breathing rushed in her ears like waterfalls. And the boys were sweating!

"You could really do with a shower," she wanted to say, but all she uttered was a guttural growl. Startled, Remus jumped backwards.

Serena cast a glance into the mirror that James was holding for her. If her face still had allowed it she had grinned broadly. A lynx was returning her look from the mirror. A stunning beautiful lynx, she thought, having always had a liking for all sorts of cats. Serena wanted to speak but remembered that she couldn't as long as she was in her Animagus form; she had to change back into her human body. As soon as the thought had occurred to her she felt herself growing. The fur and the claws vanished and she was her old human self again.

"I'm impressed!" James exclaimed, and flung his arms around her neck, hugging her tight. "You actually did it! And you're a pretty nice lynx, I must say."

Remus smiled as well. "Congratulations," he said appreciatively. "Now you're an Animagus." His face sobered up when he added, "And a law-breaker."

Ignoring Remus' last remark, Serena was almost bursting with pride and joy. She had indeed mastered it!

"Now, you could try it again," James said, "It should work without wand..."

Serena didn't wait for him to finish his sentence. Briefly wondering, how she should transform without her wand and without saying the incantation again, she recalled how it had felt to be a lynx and instantly she turned into one again. Now, that she knew what animal she was, it was rather easy.

She transformed back and said, "Thank you, Jim. Thank you very much for your help. But now we should really go, it's already past curfew."

James nodded. "Yes, we should. Good night, Serena. And remember, you mustn't tell anyone about it!"

* * *

Filled with joy and feeling ready to tackle anything, Serena returned to the Slytherin common room. She found Severus impatiently waiting for her.

"Hey Serena!" he greeted her. "I was already worrying about your whereabouts, it's past curfew."

"Oops, really?" Serena pretended to be surprised, hoping it would be convincing enough. "I lost track of time, I suppose. Anyway, is there a particular reason why you've been waiting for me?"

Severus' expression became considerably sterner when he nodded. "Yes, indeed."

Glancing around, he seized her arm and steered her into a dim corner, away from the other present Slytherins. A bookshelf secluded this place from the rest of the common room, effectively obstructing the view from the tables to the corner. Serena wondered what Severus was planning, when he stopped, still holding her close to him.

He bent down until their heads were on the same level and only inches apart. Her heart doubled its pace and her hands became clammy. Questions exploded in her spinning head like fireworks. What was he doing? Was he going to kiss her? But why should he do that all of a sudden? Had Narcissa spoken to him, despite her promise not to?

Unable to move or even breathe, she watched Severus' face coming still closer and then sideways moving past her face, without his lips touching hers. After an eternity he stopped, his mouth next to her left ear, whispering something.

The blood in her ears rushed so loud that she didn't understand it at first.

"Pardon?" she asked sheepishly, realising that the idea of him kissing her had only been wishful thinking. She mentally cursed herself for not being able to suppress these foolish thoughts.

"I was saying you better return this as soon as possible," Severus repeated, still maintaining the lowest possible volume without being inaudible.

With a snap Serena came back to reality. She became aware of something hard pressing against her body. Looking down, she saw that it was a black book that Severus had produced from his robe, labelled Compendium of Calamitous Curses.

Serena's face fell upon recognising it. "How... where did you get that?"

"From where you hid it - under your pillow." Severus snorted. "Honestly, Serena, that's the stupidest place where you can hide something. Rendering it untraceable with magic doesn't help much if you put it where everyone would look first."

"What business do you have prying into my things?" Serena answered back with a sharper voice than intended. She didn't like the thought of someone rummaging through her personal belongings at all, even if it was Severus.

"I was saving your arse, no need to be grateful," Severus snapped, mirroring Serena's angry tone. "An hour ago, I was about to round a corner at the first floor, when I overheard two Gryffindors talking about a book of Dark curses missing from the Restricted Section and the professors searching for it. Thinking of you and the new curses that you showed me recently, I wondered if you could have taken the book. I couldn't find you in the common room, so I went to your dorm. You weren't there, but neither was anyone else. I decided to have a quick look, and I didn't even need to go through your belongings, your pillow was the first thing I examined. I hid the book in my robe and left - just in time before our Head of House entered the common room and announced the search of our bags, common room, and dormitories for exactly this compendium."

Serena paled. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you." She took the book and hid it in her robe. "Then I should smuggle it back tonight."

"But be careful! I wouldn't put it past the staff to have someone watch the Restricted Section, hoping to have stirred enough commotion to make the one who stole the book clandestinely return it."

Serena nodded in agreement. "That's likely. But they won't notice me, I'll see to that." She glanced at Severus. The annoyance had vanished from her expression, being replaced by gratefulness. Following an impulse, she hugged him, muttering, "Thanks a million for saving my neck. I owe you."

* * *

Saturday morning Serena entered the Great Hall with half-closed eyes, barely seeing where she went. She spotted Severus at the Slytherin table, currently spreading butter on his bread, and sat down next to him.

"Good morning, sleepyhead," he greeted her.

"Morning," Serena mumbled in reply, yawning.

"We're unnaturally lethargic today, aren't we? What's with you, had a bad night?"

"You said it. Melissa was snoring as if she was determined to take down the entire Forbidden Forest. She kept me awake the whole night. I was severely tempted to sneak over to her bed and shout 'TIMBER!' into to her ear."

Snorting ill temperedly, Serena stabbed vigorously at the scrambled eggs that had appeared in front of her. "But I refrained from it, afraid that I'd let myself be carried away and strangle her instead. We cannot risk to lose points; our lead over Gryffindor is only marginal and I can't stand the idea of them winning the house cup again."

She poured herself a glass of pumpkin juice, adding as a second thought, "I think I'll go back to bed after she's got up, maybe I can make up for my lost sleep then."

"You're sharing a dorm with her for six years now, and you never complained before."

"Most of the time I'm able to ignore her. I only need to fall asleep before she does, then it's ok. But her current cold, including a blocked nose, makes her horrendous snoring about twice as terrible. Imagine that, a cold in June! She wasn't sick in winter, when almost everyone else was ailing. No, she waits for summer to catch a cold. I tell you, she did it deliberately, so that now all people can pity her, and her alone!"

In that moment a rustling, steadily increasing in volume, announced the arrival of the morning mail. A tiny owl, looking like a feathered, winged tennis-ball, fluttered across the table and let a piece of parchment plunge into Serena's glass. Both Serena and Severus jumped up to avoid being splashed all over with juice.

"That was the Headmaster's owl," Severus noted. "What could he possibly want from you - on a Saturday?"

"I have no clue." Serena fished the note out of her glass and put it on the table. She dried it and broke the seal. It contained only a short message:

Miss Serena Potter,

Please put in an appearance in my office after breakfast.

Albus Dumbledore,
Headmaster etc.

"Quite short, sounds like trouble," Severus commented. "You returned that book without getting caught, didn't you?"

Serena nodded. "Yes, I did, already three days ago," she answered dismissively.

After gulping down the rest of her juice, Serena headed for the exit of the Great Hall. Inwardly, she didn't feel nearly as calm and serene as she was displaying outwardly. What did Dumbledore have in mind? Did he perhaps know that she had been the one who stole the book? Had he somehow found out about her nightly excursions to the library and her learning of Dark magic? Or that she was an Animagus? If that was the case, she was probably being called to his office to have her wand broken and to get expelled.

* * *

Shortly after Serena had left the Great Hall, Lucius Malfoy got up from his seat at the other end of the Slytherin table, heading directly towards Severus.

"Hello Snape," he said, making an effort to appear amiable, and sat down. "Where's your shadow gone?"

"If you're talking about Serena, that's none of your business. And I can't remember inviting you to sit with me. Why don't you go back to your friends, before they start rumours about us."

Lucius gave a short, affected laugh. "Oh, pleasant as always." The forced smile vanished as quickly as it had appeared. "I need to have a private word with you."

Severus shrugged his shoulders with indifference. "Seems like now would be your chance."

Lucius inhaled deeply, looking cautiously around. No one sat near enough to eavesdrop on their conversation. He leaned over the table and begun, "I know you've still a year of school ahead of you. But have you ever thought about the time after Hogwarts? What you'll do then? The reason why I'm asking is that you're bloody good at Potions. There's someone I know who would be interested in making use of your skills."