Heaven and Hell

6th Chapter - Disasters and Decisions

(June 1976)

Only two more weeks were to pass, and then the school year would be history, and the summer holidays would begin. Five of Serena's seven school years at Hogwarts would be gone by then. The days since her first arrival at Hogwarts had been filled with plenty of learning, having fun with friends like Severus and Narcissa, and quarrelling with members of the other Houses, particularly Gryffindor. The students had grown older and, in the case of a few, more mature. This year's exams, too imminent to be neglected any longer, were the most important ones so far, because they resulted in more or less OWLs.

Serena was still a good student and wasn't afraid of most exams. She had always considered it a question of honour to achieve results at least as good as her brother. This wasn't easy, as he was an excellent student. But she worked hard to keep up with him, and they were on par in most subjects.

However, there was one subject that gave her a headache every time she thought about it, and the approaching exam caused her many sleepless nights. There was no chance for her to become even half as good at Potions as her brother (or anyone else in her year, for that matter). She would have been quite content if she had at least been decent, but she could still describe her Potions skills only as disastrous. Her brain seemed to refuse to absorb any information that had to do with Potions. And worse, it seemed to snap out of operation as soon as it was asked to brew a potion. In the best case, the resulting concoctions had no effect at all. But often they had an effect, but not the desired one. And more often she didn't even get to the point when the effect could be tested, because she blew everything up before the potion was finished.

* * *

Severus had mixed feelings about the exams too. He wasn't as easy with learning as Serena, particularly at subjects that required a lot of 'silly wand waving', as he often called it. Fortunately, Serena and Severus complemented each other perfectly. He was a Potions natural and attempted to help her, even if it seemed to be useless. Her evident insusceptibility to anything concerning this subject regularly put a heavy strain on his patience. Nevertheless, he still worked together with her in Potions lessons, if only to prevent Serena from blowing up the cauldron too often. As long as Professor Godpot wasn't watching closely, Severus made sure Serena wouldn't do more than prepare the ingredients and kept her as far away as possible from the cauldron.

On the other hand, Serena was very talented with Transfigurations, which was Severus' weak subject. So she took her time to help him with that subject as much as she could, in return for all of his help.

Severus sighed. He would need her help again. Frustrated, he slammed his Transfigurations book shut. After reading the same chapter three times, it still refused to make any sense. He decided to wait for Serena and let her explain it. She was in the library with Narcissa, but they should return anytime soon.

While he waited, he gazed out of the window, letting his mind wander. Over the past years he and Serena had become very close friends. Actually, she was the only person whom he considered his friend. Serena also spent a lot of time with Narcissa, and often all three joined for homework or trips to Hogsmeade. But still, Severus didn't count Narcissa as a friend, but rather an acquaintance.

The entrance door to the Slytherin common room opened and Narcissa entered. But it wasn't Serena who accompanied her; it was Bellatrix, another Slytherin in their year.

Narcissa spent her time about equally with Serena and Bellatrix, but never with both at the same time. Bellatrix came from a well-off, snobbish family and regarded Severus as below her just because he wasn't rich. This shallow behaviour, however, had soon entered her in Serena's bad books. How Narcissa managed to be friends with both girls who were filled with great antipathy for each other was a puzzle to Severus.

But it seemed as if such complicated relations were a speciality of girls. Serena contrived the same, being friends with him and also keeping close contact to her brother. Severus had never tried to interfere with it, afraid that she could choose Potter over himself if Severus forced her to take a side. Maybe that was also Narcissa's secret?

With growing dismay he watched them come closer. They were obviously intentionally heading towards him.

"Hello Severus." Narcissa approached him, friendly as always and seemingly oblivious of the disdainful expression in Bellatrix' face because Narcissa was talking to the poor loner.

"Hello Narcissa," he answered, deliberately ignoring Bellatrix.

"Serena wants you to know that she's returning later, in case you might be waiting for her. She wanted to discuss something with Professor Godpot."

Severus nodded. "Ok, thank you."

He couldn't say more - like asking how much later Serena would come back - because Bellatrix had already grabbed Narcissa's arm and dragged her away. While both retreated to the girls dormitories, he could overhear Bellatrix reproachfully whispering to Narcissa about being the messenger-girl for Serena and Severus, and that being far below her. Severus was sure that Bellatrix had meant for him to hear it. And he knew that it riled her all the more that her nasty comments never affected or hurt him because he just didn't care about her opinion of him.

Bellatrix was like Lucius - neither friend nor enemy, more like an inconvenience whose presence had to be endured, or rather ignored. If nothing else, his father had taught him two things: How to make the strongest potions and how to survive in the magical community, even with a past like the Snapes had. And an important rule was not to cross those families who had influence and power.

Because it worked effectively with Lucius and Bellatrix, Severus had long ago decided to ignore the other students as well. His reputation as the one with the fastest duelling wand and an extensive knowledge about curses, including a wide assortment of Dark ones, had benefited this scheme. It had caused the other students to refrain from bothering him by seeking his enmity, but also his friendship. They left him alone and he was pretty much content with it.

Unfortunately, that didn't mean that he had no enemies at Hogwarts at all. It was impossible to ignore Serena's brother and his three dunderheads. At first Severus had strived to behave at least neutral towards them for Serena's sake. But they hadn't been that caring. They had tried to decry him and talk Serena out of being friends with him. After clashing violently with them on more than one occasion he had abandoned his reserve, and now they were living in open defiance of each other, very much to Serena's displeasure.

Severus especially hated the fact that they frequently got up to mischief, often at his expense, but never got caught and punished. He had clandestinely followed them for a while and tried to report them to the professors, but always without success. Severus could never prove anything. Even if he had been lucky and got a piece of evidence, one of the four always came up with a plausible and innocent explanation.

One day Professor McGonagall had sighed and said in a decidedly upset tone, "Mister Snape, kindly quit cooking up tales and casting aspersions upon your fellow students. If this demeanour doesn't stop, I will find myself compelled to take a large amount of points from Slytherin."

He snorted sullenly. Of course McGonagall believed her esteemed Gryffindors more than him, the sneaky Slytherin. She especially couldn't conceive the idea of goody-goody James Potter being able to break rules.

James Potter! Severus loathed him as much as he liked Serena. Her brother was the head of the unholy quartet and it always made Severus gag to see the oh-so-typical Gryffindor loyalty that already bordered on devotion in the eyes of the other three when looking at Potter.

But he didn't only have the admiration of his cronies, no; he was one of the most popular students at Hogwarts - with students and professors alike. And as if that wasn't enough, he also had everything else he could wish for. Potter was one of the Gryffindor Chasers and was also team captain. The Gryffindor team was bloody successful - and of course Potter was credited with it as if the other six players weren't doing anything. That he was Prefect as well was almost an inessential. He always got good marks, and sometimes Severus suspected that it just didn't occur to the professors to give such a model student less. Potter had everything, and it seemed to fall into his lap, without him working hard for it.

Severus took a deep breath. It wouldn't get him anywhere to get worked up over it. At the moment Potter might be up, but someday Severus would turn the tables. He was sure that one day he would get his revenge. But that day was still far away, unlike the Transfiguration exam that hung over him like a sort of Damocles.

At this moment, the door to the Slytherin common room opened again and this time it was Serena who entered. She looked around with a searching gaze and as soon as she had spotted Severus, she purposefully strode over to him.

"Hey, Sev," she greeted him cheerfully.

Severus cringed at the way she addressed him. Heaps of times he had told her that he hated this stupid nickname. Nobody else dared to call him anything but 'Severus' or 'Mister Snape', but Serena seemed to be oblivious to his aversion to 'Sev'. Around the end of the second year he had finally given up trying to change her behaviour. He had got fed up with talking to her when she simply wouldn't listen to him. But it still made him wince when he heard her call him that.

"Hello Serena," he replied. "I could do with some help from you. I don't understand this Transfiguration stuff. This chapter doesn't make any sense." He held up his book to show her what he meant.

"Of course I'll help you. Basically, it's fairly simple. You only need to concentrate the right way. Then you'll feel it. It's not mysterious or tricky or something," she answered lightly.

"Oh yes, that helped me terrifically," Severus replied, sarcasm protruding from his voice. "I'd appreciate it very much if you could go a bit more into detail."

"Erm, sure, but could you do me a favour first? You know, I'm abysmal at Potions and I'm afraid I won't pass the exam with a bit more training. You're brilliant at Potions, so would you accompany me, right now? I really want to be back before curfew. We could attend to your problem afterwards."

"Accompany? Where to?" he asked curiously.

Serena held a piece of parchment under his nose while she explained, "Professor Godpot allowed me to use the Potions classroom, so that I can practice for the exam. While I was in the library, I wrote down all of the potions we've learned this year. I've crossed out all of those that need longer to brew than the duration of the exam. I've also removed all potions from the list that Professor Godpot mentioned would not be asked about. I've eliminated some more potions for other reasons, and so I cut the number of potions that could be in the practical part of the exam down to three. And now I'd like to practice those three."

Severus looked at the list in front of his face. It was actually a long list but, with the exception of three potions, all were crossed out. This was indeed a smart approach to prepare for the exam, he had to admit. "Ok, and which potion do you want to attempt at first?"

"I thought Veritaserum would be nice to begin with. Its success is easily verified. Because it forces one to answer all questions truthfully, you only need to ask me something and I'll try to lie to you."

* * *

Ten minutes later, they arrived at the Potions classroom. Serena had brought an empty bottle with her. If she should really manage to brew Veritaserum, she wanted to keep a sample.

She could use it on Bellatrix, for instance. Serena had always wondered, if Bellatrix was a genuine seer or if she only was showing off to become the Divination professor's pet. Serena tended to believe the latter, since the prophecies that Bellatrix made were absolutely cryptic. They always left enough space to read into them whatever was necessary to make them apply to a real event.

And you never knew when it would come in handy to have it...

Serena hadn't told Severus about this. She doubted that he'd reproach her for rule-breaking or even report her. But she was afraid of him being fond of her plan. He could be tempted to use the serum to get back on James and his friends, and she didn't like that thought very much. Of course she couldn't prevent Severus from stocking up with Veritaserum on his own, but she hoped he would be too occupied with helping her to hit upon that idea.

"You have to crush the dragon fangs into smaller pieces!"

"Wait until the Kappa bile has dissolved completely! The potion will clot if you add the Jobberknoll feathers before."

"Stir faster, it almost boiled over!"

Serena began to wonder if it really had been a good idea to ask Severus for help. He constantly found something to criticize. In addition, he always seemed to take it as a personal affront if she messed up a potion. But on the other hand, she wouldn't have come that far without him.

"Well, we're almost done. As soon as the potion has turned clear, you must add three salamander toes. Then it has to simmer exactly five more minutes and we're through with it," he explained the next steps.

Using her sleeve, Serena wiped the sweat off her forehead and yelped in sudden pain. Unaware of having dunked the bottom of her long sleeve into the cauldron earlier, she had scalded her forehead with the soaked, hot fabric. Severus reacted promptly and sprayed her face with a fluid that eased the pain almost instantly. Because Serena frequently came in involuntary contact with boiling liquids, he never entered the Potions classroom without a spray-bottle, filled with Skin-Healing Potion, in his pocket.

Serena sighed. She had already worked on the serum for nearly an hour, and at least she hadn't blown it up yet. It even had the right consistency and colour. And it started to become transparent.

When it was all clear, Serena added three frog toes and watched the clock on the wall while the potion continued to simmer. After exactly five minutes she took a ladle and filled it. Severus went to a shelf in search of a beaker, complaining vociferously that there wasn't a single beaker clean enough to drink from it. Serena used the opportunity to quickly take the empty bottle out of her robe and fill it with the clear liquid. As Severus rinsed and dried one of the beakers, she corked her bottle and hid it again in a pocket of her robe.

When Severus returned, she filled the beaker he had brought and asked eagerly, "How is it?"

He lifted the potion to his nose and sniffed at it. "Scent and colour are correct. Now we should test its effects."

"Ok, but promise not to ask something embarrassing."

Severus nodded, not quite succeeding to keep a straight face. Serena took the beaker, and after a last suspicious glance at him, she swallowed a small sip of the liquid. She didn't die immediately, so she looked expectantly at Severus, awaiting his question.

"What's your name?" he asked.

"Wow, that's an original question! Albus Dumbledore of course... Oh, damn it!" Disappointed, Serena put the beaker down.

Severus frowned slightly. "That's strange. Actually you did everything right. You've added crushed dragon fangs, Kappa bile, Jobberknoll feathers, Erumpent horn liquid..."

He went on listing all the ingredients, nodding after each as a sign that she had actually added it to the cauldron.

"... and salamander toes. Hmm, you've added everything, we didn't forget an ingredient. So why doesn't it work?"

Serena froze at his mention of the last component. Salamander toes? Didn't he say frog toes? She was almost certain to have thrown frog toes into the cauldron. Damn it, she never could tell one from the other. Turning around to check it, she opened her eyes wide in fright. She had forgotten to put out the fire under the cauldron. The potion had continued to boil and had expanded to a degree that exceeded the capacity of the cauldron. The overflown liquid was running across the desk and nearing the edge of the table.

Serena gave Severus, who still was staring thoughtfully in the other direction, a dig into his ribs. As soon as he had turned around and realized what was happening, he grabbed roughly Serena's arm, dragging her hurriedly towards the door.

"You haven't extinguished the fire! How could you forget that! The Erumpent horn liquid becomes highly explosive again if you let it boil too long!" he scolded.

As if by command there was a deafening bang, followed by loud crackling and rumbling. The shock wave hurled both of them out of the door, which had been flung open by Severus just the second before.

* * *

"Are you hurt?" Severus asked after a few moments.

"No, and you?"

Serena coughed violently because the air was thick with dust. After a short glimpse at Severus, seeing a thin red line emerging from his left eyebrow, she quickly averted her gaze. Over the years Serena had tried all sorts of ways to overcome that weakness, but still the sight of blood stirred a well-known and highly unwelcome feeling inside her stomach. She distracted herself from it by cautiously cleaning her eyes.

Unaware of her uneasiness, Severus answered, "I think, I broke my wrist when I tried to catch my fall. At least, it hurts terribly." As if to prove it, Severus gave a grunt of pain.

"One isn't supposed to catch a fall with one's hands. It's better to roll over," Serena commented absentmindedly, shaking her head in order to get the white, ubiquitous dust out of her hair. Unfortunately, this action produced another dusty cloud around her and made her sneeze a few times.

"And Veritaserum is supposed to be taken off the fire as soon as it's finished! Even you should know that!" Severus snapped angrily back, showing as little sympathy for her as Serena had shown for him beforehand.

"I'm sorry. I'll be more careful the next time," she replied in a more remorseful tone.

But it didn't mollify Severus. He was livid and his wrist hurt awfully. It was all Serena's fault and she seemed not even to regret it appropriately.

While he got up to his feet, carefully avoiding putting any weight onto his right arm, he spoke harshly to her, "The next time? Surely not! You had almost killed us! You and Potions are two things that shouldn't be combined in any case! You're a danger to your surroundings! There won't be a next time; I'm not going to risk my life again! I don't want to be killed by your clumsiness!"

He inhaled and exhaled deeply to calm down, when suddenly Mr. Filch rounded the corner, followed closely by Professor Dumbledore and Professor Godpot.

"What on earth has happened here?" Dumbledore asked, looking concerned at the picture of misery on the floor, also known as Serena.

"Sev let the cauldron explode," she murmured miserably.

Severus protested indignantly and vehemently. How could she dare to blame him! Not he, no, Serena was the walking catastrophe! He was only the unlucky fellow who had to suffer from her!

While he ranted on, Professor Godpot walked over to the door, which had been torn off its hinges by the force of the explosion. He swept away the clouds of smoke and dust with a flick of his wand and gasped in shock.

"Merlin's beard!" he groaned. "I should have known it was a mistake to allow Miss Potter to practice here!"

Professor Dumbledore and Mr. Filch also gazed through the door in bewilderment. Serena, who had got to her feet meanwhile, and Severus curiously peeped through between the professors and saw ... nothing!

The classroom had vanished. They had an unobstructed view over the lake and the stars above. Further down, at the base of the castle, there lay the ruins of what had been a small tower less than an hour ago.

"Slytherin doesn't have as many points as they'll deduct from us, I suppose!" Severus growled at Serena, before he left after Professor Dumbledore had advised him to see Madam Pomfrey about his injuries.

* * *

The next day Potions lessons were cancelled for all classes. The news about Serena blowing up the Potions classroom spread like wildfire. Serena was in very low spirits. She heard students whisper and snigger behind her back everywhere, being painfully reminded of her very first Potions lesson. Severus refused to speak with her anymore, or even go near her. He also preferred to learn alone for the exams, and he had asked Narcissa to explain the chapter from the Transfigurations book to him.

When Sirius and James took her aside to compliment her, "Congratulations! We must admit you've easily beaten us. Blowing up a toilet is nothing in comparison to a whole tower! We look like mere novices compared to you," she finally exploded.

"You think this is all funny, don't you?" she sputtered. "But it isn't. It wasn't a prank; I'm just too stupid to do a potion right. I'm a danger for everyone who's around me. Sev could be dead by now, just because of me! Don't you dare laugh about it!"

She left the flabbergasted boys standing alone and ran down to the Slytherin dorms. There, she collapsed onto her bed and shut her eyes, trying to hold back the tears that welled up behind her eyelids. Eventually she gave up and turned over onto her stomach, letting the tears flow freely into her pillow. Every time she moved, a groan of pain escaped her. When she had told Severus she hadn't been hurt, it had been a lie. She'd got a lot of painful bruises, which had turned several shades of black, blue, and violet meanwhile.

The punishment turned out to be easier than she had feared. Neither Severus nor Serena were expelled from Hogwarts. Slytherin was deducted a hundred and fifty points and both of them got detention for the rest of the school year, which fortunately lasted only two more weeks. They were to remove the rubble, close up the hole that had been the door to the late Potions classroom, and renovate the corridor, all without the use of magic. Afterwards they had to help Professor Godpot set up a new Potions classroom and a new office for him down in the dungeons. In a staff meeting, the professors had unanimously decided to not rebuild the tower. The dungeons had been hewn directly into the rock, which Hogwarts was standing on. They had more solid walls and were able to withstand much more pressure than an ordinary exploding cauldron produced. So it was considered far more secure a place to give Potions lessons.

Slowly Severus' anger subsided. After a week they reconciled. Serena suspected that Severus gave in so fast only because he needed her to learn for the exams, but she didn't care. She was simply happy to have her best friend speaking to her again.

When the Potions exam took place, Serena was the only one who wasn't to do a practical part. In return her theoretical part of the exam was twice as extensive as the other ones'.

* * *

Finally all exams were done, all detentions were over, and once more the Hogwarts Express took the students back to London where their parents, siblings, and relatives awaited them to take them home.

Although Serena's parents had sent her a howler immediately after the accident, they didn't consider the matter closed yet. As soon as they arrived at home, they started to tell her off alternately, lecturing her about negligence and its dangerous consequences. How on earth could she blow up a tower of Hogwarts! How could she be so careless! They would have expected something like that of James, but never of her! Serena showed a rueful expression, promising to never again blow up a Hogwarts tower and the matter was put to a rest eventually.

She could enjoy the holidays at last! James spent a week at the Blacks' house and her parents were working all day long, so she had the whole house to herself. Determined to take full advantage of that, she had slept in until noon. After a late breakfast, one that could indeed count as lunch, she got herself a deck chair out of the backyard shed and settled on the lawn in the front garden, sunbathing. Simply lying around and listening to the noises countless little insects made quickly became boring and so she busied herself with reading the Daily Prophet.

A particular caption caught her attention: 'Again two Aurors killed in the fight against He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named'. The number of such articles was dramatically increasing recently. Serena sighed. Someone should put an end to this madness. Why hadn't the Ministry prevented the Dark Lord from gaining so much control? Or if they hadn't seen it coming, why didn't they stop it now? Weren't there any Aurors who were powerful enough to survive a duel with the Dark Lord? Weren't there any clever minds that could come up with a promising plan to get rid of him? Was it really that difficult to defeat him?

She had spent the last months in Hogwarts, more or less secluded from real life. So she hadn't been aware of what was going on in the rest of the country, being shocked all the more when she had come home. The neighbours had become scared of other people. Usually their neighbour, Mrs. Knicks, used to start a snug little chat with everyone who walked past her house. But when Serena had greeted her after her return, Mrs. Knicks had fearfully looked around and then disappeared in her house, without answering Serena's greeting. The other magical neighbours were also seldom to be seen outside of their houses, the curtains at the windows being drawn even during the day. People had been afraid for a while, but now it had become worse than ever before.

At late afternoon Serena's parents came back from work. Upon seeing Serena sitting in the front garden, her mother broke almost into a hysterical fit.

"Are you mad, child? Go into the house, at once! Certainly you don't want to something to happen to you, do you? How can you be so careless!"

Serena wasn't in the mood to start another discussion about carelessness and to dig up the incident with the destroyed tower again, so she went into the house without protest. But her mother's reaction filled her with dismay. There had been a clear trace of panic in her voice. Not only other people, no, her own family was frightened!

Later, when she lay in her bed, sleep evaded Serena for a long time. She couldn't get the Daily Prophet article and her mother's panic-stricken voice out of her mind. At length she fell into a restless sleep, dreaming about green lights and screaming voices. Evil, merciless laughter derided the screams. The green light constantly became brighter while the voices fell silent. Suddenly Serena awoke with a start and blinked. The light was still there and it shone through the window, pouring ominous green shadows into her room. She suppressed a shudder, got up, and looked out of the window.

Outside, a big skull, consisting of countless green stars, glowed bright and frighteningly. An equally green glowing snake came out of its mouth, looking as if the skull was stretching its tongue out. It hovered directly in front of her window, above the small house of her neighbour, Mrs. Knicks.

Serena tensed and her throat went dry. She wished she was still asleep and this was only a nightmare. But try as she would, she didn't wake up from it. This was bitter reality. Even if she had never seen it before, she recognized at once the dreadful glowing shape she was disbelievingly staring at - the Dark Mark, Lord Voldemort's sign. Death Eaters conjured it at places where they had murdered. After she had freed herself from her rigidity, she ran as fast as she could into her parent's bedroom.

Without so much as slowing down, she flung open the door, yelling, "The Dark Mark is out there!"

Woken up so abruptly, her parents only drowsily stared at Serena for a moment. Then Serena's words sunk in. Dread flashed over her mother's face once again. Both followed Serena into her room, where they could see the Mark clearly. They cast a short, horrified glance out of the window and then started to bolt all shutters and doors of the house.

Her voice mixed with reproach, dread, and anxiety, her mother spoke to Serena, "Why haven't you drawn shut the curtains, Serena! If someone had seen you! They could've thought you had witnessed something!"

Serena could almost feel the fear evaporate from her mother and reach for herself. Slowly, the fright took hold of her too. Even her father, whom she had always regarded as strong and solid as a rock, couldn't hide his concern and worry.

She couldn't understand it. As horrible as the attack was, it had been at their neighbours, not their own house. Her family had never meddled with the Dark Lord's business. So there shouldn't be anything to be afraid of. Nevertheless her parents were. And Serena noticed that their fear was contagious, even if she deemed it irrational.

In an attempt to shake off the oppressive, cold feeling that crept up her veins and threatened to overwhelm her, she yelled back, "And if I had? Wouldn't it be good if I could give the Aurors a few clues as to who had done that?"

Seeing the aghast look on her mother's face, she immediately regretted her words. This wasn't the time for arguments. They were all too upset now. Her mother was only concerned about her, after all. And maybe she was right. If those Death Eaters had the smallest reason to assume she'd seen something, she would be dead by now. And her parents too, most likely.

"She doesn't know better. She wasn't here these last months. Hogwarts is still safe, not a place to learn how to live with a constant peril, love," her father tried to appease his wife. Serena's mother began to cry softly. Her husband hugged her tight in an attempt to soothe her.

"Poor old Mrs. Knicks! She'd never done anything to anyone!" Serena could hear between muffled sobs.

"But why would Death Eaters assault such a nice old lady like Mrs. Knicks?" she asked quietly.

"Only because she was Muggle-born. That's the only reason!" her father explained grimly.

Serena had already heard that Voldemort wasn't too fond of Muggle-born witches or wizards. But that he went as far as to kill them only because of their lineage - that was quite hard to swallow. Serena hadn't spent much thought about him so far. She had considered him just another Dark wizard who gathered other Dark wizards around him and scared the wizarding community for fun. A problem that the Ministry would solve sooner or later. But maybe she had underestimated Lord Voldemort a great deal, like so many others had done too. Killing innocent people and getting away with it appeared more like he could become a new Grindelwald, or even worse.

* * *

James returned from his visit to Sirius in the following week. He had already read in the newspaper about the Death Eater attack on Mrs. Knicks. Sitting on the floor in Serena's room, his back rested comfortably on her bed, he listened attentively to Serena's description of that night.

"You should have seen Mum," Serena finished her accounting. She was spread crosswise on her bed, lying on her stomach, and her chin resting on her hands, so that her head was next to James'. "She was so frightened, and we aren't even in immediate danger - I mean, we're purebloods and we haven't done anything that could be of interest to the Dark Lord."

James snorted. "My, Serena, since when are you so naïve? What makes you think that we weren't in danger? They don't exclusively kill Muggle-borns or Aurors. Everyone who doesn't support the Dark Lord is a potential target. Death Eaters have wiped out entire families just because one member of the family declined their request to join them. They pursue the policy 'If you aren't my friend, you're my enemy'. Are you Voldemort's friend? Are you willing to follow him? I hope not. But that makes you automatically his enemy. Mum and Dad know that. And that's why they're worried, and Mum's even scared."

"But why doesn't the Ministry do something against Him? If He's such a danger?"

James shook his head. With a grave voice he continued, "It isn't that easy. The Ministry people do what they can, but Voldemort is powerful, and his supporters are numerous. You know, Sirius' mum's working at the Ministry. She told us that during the past year, they lost more Aurors in the fight against Voldemort than they could replace with new ones. Those who've been wounded or injured aren't even included yet in this count. And according to Mrs. Black it's still becoming worse."

"Then they should perhaps accept more students at their Auror college."

"They'd be happy to do so. But these days it's hard to find applicants. Would you want to take a job, which you know will very likely cost your life?"

James stretched his somewhat stiff muscles and turned around, now kneeling on the floor, his elbows resting on Serena's bed. He watched her closely and nodded when she shook her head.

"And that's exactly the problem. Nevertheless, the Ministry's in dire need of Aurors. Sirius and I have decided to do our duty - we'll both become Aurors after we've finished Hogwarts. And -" James rummaged about the pockets of his robe and produced a thick bundle of parchments. Showing them to Serena, he continued, "we're going to convince as many Hogwarts students as possible to apply for an Auror education."

"And you think that'll turn the tide?" Serena looked sceptical at the papers, reading the title, 'Application for Admission to the British College for Aurors and Magical Forces'.

"At least we're doing something, instead of waiting for someone else to do it for us. If everyone helps, the effect will cumulate, and sometime it'll be enough to defeat Voldemort. Speaking of, what about your contribution?"

"My contribution? What could I possibly do?"

James took one of the application forms and gave it to Serena. "You could fill out this form and send it to the Ministry, for a start."

Serena shook her head and put the parchment back on the stack. "No way. I have other plans. I want to live my life, see a bit of the world, find a husband someday, have children and grandchildren. This is incompatible with dying young."

"If Voldemort rises to ultimate power and rules our world, you'll likely watch your husband die one day. Or your children. If you live long enough."

"But even if I wanted to, I can't become an Auror."

"Why not? You certainly have what it takes to be successful in this job."

"Oh, sure! I doubt that I'd live to see the day to start my training. I'm in Slytherin, remember? Many members of my house are children of assumed Death Eaters, and are most likely going to follow their parents' footsteps. I have to get along with them for two more years. What do you think will they do if they hear that I'm going to be an Auror? I'm bloody sure they won't congratulate me on my decision."

"Then don't tell 'em. No one needs to know about it. If I can't convince you, how am I supposed to convince the other students?"

"I don't know. All I know is that I'm fifteen years old and that I shouldn't worry about my death. And, hey, maybe the Dark Lord will be defeated before we finish Hogwarts."

James shook his head, frowning. Annoyance sounded in his voice when he answered, "You can't rely on that. We're at war, Serena. And it affects everyone, adults and children alike. You can't stay neutral, if you like it or not. Refusing to fight against Voldemort means to support him. Is it that what you want?"

Getting up, he took again an application form from the stack and dropped it onto her bed. "You should think about your position. Of course you don't need to make a decision right now, there's still plenty of time. But you should choose your side eventually." Turning around, James left her room and shut the door behind him.

"What I want is to live, preferably long and in peace," Serena muttered defiantly and threw the parchment into the wastepaper basket.

But she wasn't able to leave it there. Her conscience didn't let her. Several times during the next few days, she stopped in front of the basket, staring thoughtfully at the parchment. She mulled over James' arguments, trying to find a good reason to dismiss them, and failing each time.

When she had read about the murdered Aurors, she had been convinced that the Dark Lord had to be stopped. But how could she expect that the Ministry would somehow solve that problem, without supporting them? What if everyone thought so? Then no one would lift a finger, each one relying on someone else. The Dark Lord could rise unimpeded to his full power meanwhile.

And James was right, there was no guarantee that Death Eaters wouldn't force an entry into her home someday and kill her and her family. As Auror she would at least better know how to fight to save her and her family's lives.

Maybe it wasn't that bad an idea to become an Auror, she mused. She would help to battle against the horror that currently paralysed the wizarding world. If she could save only one innocent family, it would be well worth the effort.

Her brother's girlfriend, Lily, came to Serena's mind. Lily's parents were Muggles too, which put the Evans' in grave danger. Who would help them when it came to the worst? Would there be Ministry officials, defending Lily and her family from the Death Eaters? Or would they all be needed elsewhere, leaving the Evans' on their own? If something should happen to them, Serena would ask herself if she could have prevented it if she'd been an Auror, for the rest of her life.

As long as she didn't tell anyone about her ambitions, she should be safe for the next two years, even with a bunch of Slytherins around who would join the Dark Lord as soon as they finished their schooling.

Serena made a decision. She removed the application form from the waste basket and filled it out. To be sure that her plans wouldn't slip somehow she resolved to keep it a secret from everyone, even from James and Severus. It wasn't that she didn't trust them, but she wasn't willing to take any chances when her very life depended on it.

Of course it would be dangerous to be an Auror. But she was determined to minimize that danger as much as she could. She had still two years at Hogwarts to come, and she could use that time to prepare herself thoroughly for her future.

* * *

A couple of days before the holidays ended, two formal looking letters arrived. For a moment, Serena thought, the Auror college had already answered. But the letters were from Hogwarts, containing the results of the OWL tests. Serena hadn't achieved as many OWLs as her brother, owing mainly to her Potions skills, but the number was still impressive. Their parents were overjoyed and very proud of their children.

As a reward the twins received cloaks made of shiny, silvery cloth. Their father had brought them back from one of his numerous business trips that led him all over the world. When James tried his cloak on Serena suddenly gasped in surprise and nearly forgot to shut her gaping mouth. James' body had disappeared and his head seemed to hover in the air on its own.

"Wow, it's an Invisibility Cloak!" she whispered awestruck.

James looked, enthralled, down at himself and then pulled the cloak above his head. Now he was completely invisible. Of course Serena couldn't resist trying out her own cloak as well. For a while both amused themselves by taking things and waving them about.

Laughing, they made comments like, "Look, the clock can fly!" or "Merlin's beard, the tea kettle is fleeing. Mysterious, mysterious!"

"Maybe we should take the cloaks away from them; apparently they aren't mature enough to handle them with due care," their father said to their mother, smiling, but didn't really mean it.

* * *

When the sixth year started, Serena immediately began to put her plan into action. She spent a lot of time in the library, greedily absorbing all information she could find about Dark wizards in general and Voldemort in particular, as well as information about curses and the defence against them.

She had come to the conclusion that she could defend herself against Dark magic best if she was well acquainted with it. If one wanted to fight something, one had to know it first. Unfortunately, there wasn't much about Dark magic in the books that were available in the library. More likely there were a good number of books about this topic in the Restricted Section, but how to get them? Serena doubted that she would obtain the permission by going to a professor and telling him that she wished to study Dark magic, especially if she didn't want to reveal her reasons for doing so.

She decided to take advantage of the fact that she was best friends with someone who was said to know a wide assortment of Dark curses. So she asked Severus to show her those curses, and to train her in duelling. At first Severus was a bit hesitant, remembering how impossible it was to teach her anything about Potions. He didn't want to waste his time for nothing and besides that, duelling with Dark curses could be very dangerous. But Serena convinced him that it wouldn't be a mistake. She was a fast learner, if it wasn't Potions, and indeed Severus soon enjoyed practicing duelling with her. After a while she had become fast enough to be a real challenge for him and now and then she even managed to get beyond his guards and win a duel.

But as much as her duelling skills improved, she still didn't learn any more about the general aspects of Dark magic. Severus wasn't willing or able to satisfy her yearning for more background knowledge and there wasn't anyone else she could ask. So she contemplated, again, the ways to get into the Restricted Section of the library. And then it hit her. The Invisibility Cloak! With its help it should be easy to get books out without anyone noticing.

At night, when everybody else was sleeping, she snuck out of her dorm and into the library. Those trips were few and far between at the beginning. She went into the Restricted Section, grabbed one or two books and hurried back into her dorm. Later she sat down in her bed, drew the curtains of the four-poster and scoured the books for anything useful. Unfortunately, this was a cumbersome method. Since she only randomly selected any books in the dark of the night, they often didn't contain what Serena was looking for. But she didn't dare to turn on any lights for fear of being detected.

Shortly after Christmas she came across an extremely useful spell. It was a variation of Lumos and made her wand glow with a light that only she could see. So she could now have a closer look at a book in the library before she decided if she would 'borrow' it or not. Owing to this, she progressed much faster with her project. And only three days later she found a charm to detect magic. After she had almost lost a finger when a book that she had taken from the shelf had snapped at her, she used the charm every time before she touched an unknown book. If it was enchanted, she let it well alone.

Serena hadn't told Severus about her nightly trips. If she should be discovered, she didn't want Severus to get into trouble too just because he knew about it. And of course she didn't want him to ask questions as to why she did that. She wasn't fond of keeping secrets from him, and she liked even less the need to lie to him. When he had asked her why she suddenly wanted to learn Dark curses, she had only answered that she had found an interest in it, which at least hadn't been completely untrue.

However, when she found an interesting curse or hex in the books, she showed it Severus in one of their duelling practising sessions, without telling him where she had got it from. So he didn't only improve her duelling skills, but she helped to improve his knowledge as well.

Slowly, Serena became bolder on her trips. She sometimes stayed for hours in the Restricted Section and skimmed through several books right there. Serena had never needed much sleep, which came in quite handy now. And for a last resort, there was always History of Magic or Divination, where she could take a short nap without running the risk of missing something important.

One night with full moon she had stayed a particularly long time in the library and when she headed back to her dorm, the break of day wasn't far away. As she walked past a huge window in the second floor, a movement outside caught her gaze.

In the bright moonlight she could clearly see a stag galloping across the school grounds and towards the Whomping Willow. It must have come out of the Forbidden Forrest, she presumed. The poor deer couldn't possibly know that it was better to stay away from the Willow. She felt already pity for the stag because it would undoubtedly be hurt when it kept its direction, and gasped with surprise when the stag stopped, right out of the reach of the Whomping Willow. But what then followed, surprised her all the more and made her stare at the scene with utter astonishment and disbelief.

A werewolf came after the stag and was closely followed by a gigantic black dog. They all stopped in front of the tree, looking in the direction they had come from and waiting patiently. What was that all about, Serena wondered. She could perhaps imagine a werewolf hunting a stag, but not the stag stopping and waiting for the wolf. And a black dog following them? Why should it? It wasn't the huge mongrel that Hagrid regarded as his pet. So whose dog was it anyway?

Suddenly Serena could make out what they were waiting for. A small creature, apparently a rat or something akin, scurried through the grass and under the branches of the willow. A moment later the tree froze. The rat was nowhere to be seen and soon the werewolf and the dog disappeared between the willow's roots. The stag was apparently too big to go through the hole; its majestic antlers alone were wider than the opening.

But it didn't seem to be worried about that. It just shrank. The antlers vanished and its shape changed into that of a human. Serena couldn't believe her eyes. That was James, her brother! She could clearly recognize him in the light of the full moon before he also disappeared under the willow's roots. Thunderstruck, Serena stared for several minutes at the tree where her brother had vanished long since, and slowly the conclusion from her observation sank in. James was an Animagus!

* * *

The next day after dinner Serena went straight to the Gryffindor table. She was absolutely determined to capitalize on her discovery.

Slowly she bend down to James and whispered in his ear, "Hey, Jim. I've to talk to you in privacy."

"Talk about what?" James asked with normal volume, seeming not to be in the mood to be as secretive as his sister.

"You certainly don't want someone to hear that. I'll tell you, when we're alone," she answered, also aloud now.

Sirius scrutinized Serena with a suspicious gaze. Peter suddenly choked over his pumpkin juice and tried desperately to look innocent. Only Remus didn't react at all. He was pale, even more than usual, and seemed to sleep with open eyes.

'Wow, apparently they have quite a bad conscience,' Serena thought, amused.

"Ok, if you insist," James answered. "I'll come with you. I'm finished with eating anyway."

Both left the Great Hall and went into an empty classroom, locking the door behind them.

"Now, what do you want?" James asked.

Serena didn't answer immediately. For a few seconds she simply watched her brother. If he was nervous, he hid it pretty well. He appeared as calm as if he'd just finished a History of Magic essay. But then, he couldn't possibly know what Serena wanted and so he saw no reason to worry.

"Last night I've witnessed something really strange," she began. "A stag, a gigantic dog, and a werewolf ran across the school grounds. A rat followed them, scurried under the Whomping Willow and suddenly the tree froze. Then all four disappeared in something like a hole in the willow's roots. Can you imagine that?"

Pausing for some seconds, Serena studied James' face again. It had suddenly lost its colour. But she didn't wait long enough for him to come up with an answer and continued with a trace of irony in her voice, "Yes, I was also astounded. But now try to imagine my surprise when the stag transformed into a human! Someone whom I know very well, or at least I thought I did. It was you!

"I've turned over in my mind what I've seen all day long and the only logical explanation, I could come up with was this: Your friend Remus disappears once a month, always at full moon. The next day he looks even paler and more tired than usual. And I've seen a werewolf. What do you think? What are the chances that it was Remus? And because a werewolf is dangerous for humans, you've turned into a stag to keep him company. There were also a rat and a dog. I think that they were Sirius and Peter, leave it open who is who. You four are always together, so why not also last night? You've managed to become Animagi and use that ability to roam the school grounds at night. A time when everyone's supposed to sleep."

Serena shook her head, tutting reproachfully, and added in a mocking tone, "I wonder what Headmaster Dumbledore would say to that."

James' face had become still paler, wearing an irresolute expression. He was apparently wavering between confessing or denying everything.

Finally he defiantly replied, "It seems that you weren't asleep either, otherwise you couldn't have watched it. And I wonder if you can see the Whomping Willow from the Slytherin dorms at all. Or could it be that you've been wandering about the castle at night? I doubt that Professor Dumbledore would be delighted with this either."

"However, that's not the point. Fact is that you're Animagi and I know it. But if you do me a favour, I'll never breathe a word to anyone."

James gave a short, hollow laugh, but it didn't reach his eyes. "Oh sure! Until you need me to do you the next favour. Then you'll threaten me again and so on. I know a bit about blackmail, and giving in is seldom a good solution."

"I repeat, I'm just asking a favour of you. I don't want to indulge in blackmail forever. And if you do me that favour, it'll ensure that I won't be in the position to give you away any longer. Don't you want to hear at least what I have in mind?"

Now it was James, who didn't answer immediately, but studied Serena's expression intensively. Finally he sighed.

"Ok, what do you want?"

"I want to become an Animagus like you. And I want you to teach me."

Serena hoped that it was a good sign that James didn't immediately refuse her request. Patiently she waited for him to come to a decision.

At length he nodded. "Ok, you win. But you mustn't tell anyone, especially not your bosom friend Snape."

"Agreed. When can we begin?"

"I have a book about the Animagus Spell. You should read and understand it before you try anything. I'll give it to you tomorrow, together with a couple of detailed notes that I took when I learned the spell myself."

James kept his word and the very next evening Serena started to plough through the book and the notes. She'd never have thought that there was so much to learn about a single spell. And not everything added up immediately, or even after reading it two, three, or twenty times.

Several times a week, they met in the dungeons deep down under the castle. James questioned Serena about the content of the book to see if she really had comprehended it. If not, he tried to explain it to her. Sometimes they spent hours discussing tiny details. James refused to let her continue with the next chapter before she had understood the current one completely. It was truly frustrating sometimes to find herself stuck at a point and not to be able to progress any further. But James was a good teacher, and always, at some point the penny would drop even with the most complicated topic and they could carry on.

* * *

"Hey, Jim!" Serena greeted her brother, entering a ward of the infirmary on a freezing cold January afternoon.

"Hey, Serena," her brother croaked back. "Did Madam Pomfrey really allow you to see me or did you sneak past her?"

"She let me in on the condition that I wouldn't come nearer to you than three yards." She estimated the distance to the bed James was lying in and answered with a shrug, "Seems as if I have to stay in the doorframe then. So what's wrong with you? I thought you'd only caught a cold?"

"It's a quite bad bout of flu, actually. But the really bad news is that I've proved to be allergic to Pepperup Potion. A sip of it nearly killed me - literally. So I have to deal with it the Muggle way: Lying feverish in bed for the next days, feeling as if being constantly hit by loose Bludgers, and being fed awful tasting Muggle medicine that makes me all the more sick."

As if to underline his miserable state, James sneezed soundly, then blew his nose and threw the crumpled tissue in the direction of a nearly filled wastebasket.

"And why am I not allowed near you? I mean, as long as you aren't sneezing in my direction..."

"Since you're my twin sister, the chances are good that you're also allergic to Pepperup. If I should give you my cold, you'll have to suffer as well. And believe me, it's no fun!"

"Oh, poor wretch. I'd give you a hug to comfort you, but ... you know, I can't," Serena said, but with distinctly less pity in her voice than in her words, and a roguish twinkle in her eyes.

"So you're making fun of me, huh? What about this: As long as I'm ill, we cannot continue your special education. Still amused?"

Obviously not. Serena's jaw dropped and she stared at her brother, dumbfounded. This thought hadn't occurred to her yet and she swore inwardly. They had started three weeks ago and progressed quite well so far. Serena had even begun to hope she'd be an Animagus before the school year was over. A week or two's pause was the last thing she wanted.

James started to laugh, but not long, and the laugh changed into violent coughs. When the fit was over he said, "Yeah, your face looks exactly like I imagined it. Too bad that I haven't a camera, this thunderstruck expression of yours is really rare."

Serena abruptly shut her gaping mouth.

"I've thought about this problem, and found a solution already," James continued merrily. "I've convinced Sirius to help me out. Since he's as acquainted with the subject as I am, it should be no problem for you to discuss the matter with him."

Sirius? Serena wasn't sure if she would trust him with an issue as severe as this. In her eyes Sirius hadn't grown up much since his first day at Hogwarts. He had mastered the Animagus Spell as well as Jim, but he was still a carefree prankster who used his considerable talents to get the maximum of fun out of life.

Her doubts mirrored in her expression, and James felt compelled to add, "And before you start the dangerous part, I'll be back."

"But why didn't you ask Peter?" she objected. "Isn't he as competent as Sirius? I was under the impression that Peter's a lot more serious about serious things than the king of mischief makers."

"You're certainly right, but as you surely remember, Peter's got a month worth of detention and isn't available. You can thank your friend Snape for that, you know," James answered sourly.

Serena suppressed a snigger when she recalled that incident. It had been in Potions, and their task had been to brew a concoction that would, if done correctly, quieten people. Determined to get back on the quartet for a prank they had played on him a few days before, Severus had managed to add a frog toe to Remus and Peter's cauldron without them noticing. When Peter had tested the potion, the effect had been the exact opposite of his expectation. He suddenly couldn't stop himself from speaking, which was rather special an event since Peter usually didn't speak much. He chatted during the rest of the lesson and all through the next one too. Professor Kettleburn had deducted points from Gryffindor for disturbing his Care of Magical Creatures lesson, but Peter hadn't stopped even after the third admonition. Finally the professor had lost his temper and had assigned Peter detention for each evening for the next four weeks.

So it would have to be Sirius or no one. Serena nodded resignedly.

"I think I'll put up with Sirius then," she answered. "And you promise to get well as fast as you can, ok?"

She had no idea that this decision would finally delay her Animagus lessons a great deal more than just waiting a couple of days for James' recovery.