Herpetology

Herpo, looking bewildered and somewhat hunted, paused for a moment at the base of the stairs as the light and babble of voices from the Weasleys scattered around the room swept over him. But then he visibly shook himself, straightened his shoulders, and entered.

"Hey, there he is." One of the twins waved in Herpo's general direction. "And Ginny. I thought you'd slept in, Ginny."

"No," Ginny replied cheerfully, "you did. Back in a minute." She ducked into the kitchen with the tray.

"Good morning," Herpo offered quietly, quickly sliding into the nearest unoccupied seat. "Your sister was very hospitable."

"Didn't put her elbow in the butter, did she?" George asked brightly.

"I HEARD THAT!" Ginny emerged from the kitchen glaring at her brother and somewhat pink in the face.

"...I did not think elbows belonged in the butter," Herpo said slowly, looking between George and Ginny. "But I am still growing accustomed to this place."

George snickered. "They don't."

Ginny, still quite pink, explained quickly, "When I was much younger, I was nervous once during a meal and put my elbow in the butter. And they have never let me forget it."

Ginny glared at all her brothers equally.

Herpo looked cautiously around the room and decided not to ask the cause of her irritation. If he found out, he didn't wish to be blamed for it.

"She was eleven," Fred confided.

Ginny sighed, went to grab a book, and flopped full-length on the floor. It was hardly the silliest thing she'd done that year, after all. "Yes, I was. See, Herpo, unfortunately my brothers are impossible to embarrass. Well, those two, anyway."

Herpo, for his part, wasn't entirely sure what to reply to that, so he just coughed and looked at the floor. Family dynamics confused him even when he was a part of a family.

"Just ignore them," Ginny advised. "Say, Fred, that reminds me -- do you have a spare Canary Cream?"

Fred gave her a peculiar look. "It takes all the fun out of it if you warn people about them first, you know."

"I promised I'd show Herpo how I could sing better," she replied with a bright smile.

"Oi! Stop that." George looked around and lifted a hand, then arrested the motion and grinned. "You can have the Canary Cream if we get to explain about the butter."

Ginny eyed him.

"Or," he offered generously, "if you explain about the butter."

She sighed, pressed her lips together, then dropped her head over her book again and said coolly, "Harry was here for the first time and I fancied him." There was a pause. Then she lifted her head, eyebrows up, and said, "Now give me that Canary Cream."

George, still looking somewhere between startled and let down, suddenly grinned and tossed it to her.

"Thank you," she replied and calmly bit into it. In seconds, she had sprouted an impressive array of feathers as bright red as her hair.

Herpo choked slightly, then leaned forward to look more closely. "This...what an incredible spell! You are very talented."

"Why thank you," Fred replied. Ginny propped herself up, tweeted a couple of times and then burst into a few seconds of song before settling back into human form.

Herpo applauded. "Magnificent."

Ginny laughed, still a bit flushed. "Thanks."

"Do I want to know why you particularly wanted to be a canary today, Ginny?" Ron asked warily.

She waved a hand. "I'd told Herpo about the Canary Creams and he was curious."

"He could still try them," George offered generously, still grinning. "We have more. Or you could try our Bunny Buns instead. Our newest product, lots of fun."

"Ah...thank you. Perhaps later."

"Sounds like the two of you spent a lot of time talking," Ron said, looking between his sister and Herpo suspiciously. "What is it with you and Parselmouths?"

Herpo tensed. Actually, Ginny noted with some alarm, he stiffened to the point of looking on the verge of Petrification himself. She looked questioningly at him for a second, then shrugged at Ron. "I took him breakfast. No, I did not spill it on him."

"So you were all alone with him, in his bedroom, for... how long was it?" Ron grinned teasingly at their guest. "Should I be telling you to keep away from my sister?"

"If I had a problem I'd tell him myself, Ron," Ginny purred at her brother.

Herpo stiffened even further, which Ginny would have sworn was impossible a few moments ago. "I should go," he blurted out abruptly.

Ron gave him a perplexed look. "You should? Where?"

"...Away."

"He's just teasing, Herpo," Ginny said, trying to sound casual instead of concerned. "Fair warning -- if you try to duck out when they get started, they will keep trying it."

"There is no need to keep trying anything. I would never -- I would not -- they should not worry about you."

"They aren't really. Ron was teasing. Mostly teasing me, in fact, not you."

Herpo managed to look both tense and flustered at the same time. "I... do not wish them to think..."

"They don't." Ginny's eyes narrowed. "Not that it'd be any of their business anyway...."

"They are your brothers. As such, it is their duty to protect and care for you."

She sighed. "Only if I actually need the help."

"It is not for you to decide. Your brothers and father have their duty."

Ginny blinked at him several times. "...Different culture," she said firmly. "We don't have arranged marriages, although this does not seem to stop certain people from interfering anyway."

"Hang on, Ginny, I think I like Herpo's idea!" Fred interrupted with a grin. He puffed his chest out a bit and said importantly, "You should really listen to use more, since we're just doing our duty to defend your honor and all."

"I don't need any help, thank you, Fred," she replied between gritted teeth.

"But we have to protect and care for you," George added. "I suppose we should start by keeping you away from Parselmouths, since you obviously have a weakness."

"GEORGE!"

Herpo seriously considered trying to flee inconspicuously, guest or not, but this course of action was made problematic by the fact that Ginny had leapt to her feet and was standing directly in front of his chair while glaring furiously at her brother. Before she could say anything, another, slightly drowsy voice broke in. "Do I want to know what he did?" Harry asked mildly from the stairs. "And is it likely to interfere with breakfast?"

"I don't think Mum's let him near the rest of the food," Ginny said in a remarkably calmer tone.

"You have a rival for Ginny's affections," Fred explained gleefully.

"He does not!" Herpo protested frantically, trying to sink into his chair since he couldn't seem to leave. "I would never -- not that she is not admirable, but I -- I would never dream--" His face was growing steadily redder. "Harry, please, if she is yours, please believe I would not--"

"Um," said Harry. "Stop it, he's not used to you. Herpo, I obviously missed something, but I really doubt anybody's seriously accusing you of anything."

"I've offended her brothers," Herpo hissed in Parseltongue. "They think I seek Ginny's affections. I tried to explain, but..."

"Don't explain," Harry hissed back, obligingly dropping into the serpents' language as well and trying not to sound too amused in the face of Herpo's obvious agitation. Actually, it was rather sobering. "Look, it's all right. They're not offended, they're not upset, and they probably don't really think that at all, though you never know."

"But why would they say it? I--I should never have spoken to her. No man would want me near his sister!"

"Would've been awfully rude if you hadn't, actually."

At this point Harry was interrupted by Fred's asking in mock irritation what the point of the translation spell had been if they were still going to leave everybody else out of secret conversations.

"Well if certain people wouldn't tease people who are from ancient Greece and don't know when you're teasing, he wouldn't have to ask Harry in private, would he?" Ginny snapped. "Honestly, I don't know how I put up with all of you sometimes!"

"We're your brothers and you love us," George proposed with an expression presumably intended to be endearing.

Harry sighed and finished his hiss. "And we're not promised to each other, for that matter. She, ah, fancied me when she was younger and they haven't stopped kidding about it since."

"Then...they say things they do not mean? To anger her?" Herpo hissed doubtfully, sneaking a look at Ginny as she practically spat fire at her brothers. He shook his head. "I wonder if I will ever understand this place..."

"You get used to them... eventually. I think right now she's mostly angry on your behalf."

"Perhaps," Herpo suggested tentatively in translated English again, "Harry could have his breakfast now? I will say nothing more..."

"You can talk all you want," Ginny said, turning away from her brothers and then folding down to the floor again. "You haven't done anything."

"Of course." Herpo settled back in his chair and tried to look inconspicuous.

"Er... Herpo?" Ron said after a moment. Apparently he wasn't inconspicuous enough. "I really was kidding you. I didn't think you'd... er... done anything for her to object to."

Herpo ducked his head. "I am still learning," he said simply. "I am not used to...kidding."

"Right. Well. Should've thought of that. Sorry." Ron gave him a worried look. "You all right over there?"

"Fine, thank you." Herpo drew his borrowed robes around him more tightly and wondered what it would take for someone to change the subject from his stupidity....

"Right then." Ron paused, then after a moment added, "Now mind you, you probably are a little old for her...."

"RON!" Ginny protested again as Herpo turned red.

"This is... kidding again?" he asked weakly.

Ginny sighed. "Yes." She briefly entertained the idea of announcing that if they kept it up she was going to have to kiss either Herpo or Harry, but came to her senses quickly and realized that this would only encourage them. She coughed a bit. "Technically true, maybe, but not really relevant."

"Is there any way to tell the difference? So I know when to laugh and when to duck?"

"You are not going to have to duck."

He shrugged. "It is still good to know."

"We'll give you fair warning," George offered kindly, "if we're ever actually angry with you."

"...Thank you."

"As far as we know, you haven't done anything to object to," Fred added cheerfully. "Of course, if there's something you'd like to tell us...."

"I do not know what you would find objectionable," Herpo hedged. Since apparently this family didn't find any of the things objectionable that others did.

Fred laughed. "Nothing too unusual, far as I know."

"I think I would dearly love to see one of you transported to my home time and see how well you would handle it," Herpo replied with a twisted smile. "I do not mean to be slow, even so."

Fred looked at him sharply, then shook his head. "Fair enough, that. Nobody said you were being slow, though, and it's not as if we're going to hold not knowing things about our time against you -- no way you could -- just don't expect us to think of all of them ahead of time to tell you." He grinned suddenly. "Anyway, if we could think of all of them ahead of time, we'd probably know your time well enough to do all right after all."

Herpo smiled more naturally now. "A good point and, as you say, fair enough." Herpo settled back in the chair once more. "Has any thought been given to what I am to do here? I do not wish to burden your hospitality."

Fred blinked. "You just got here."

"Well, yes, but..."

"Sorry, I guess the answer would be 'no, not yet.'" Fred shrugged. "Don't worry about it. Unless you mean you're bored?"

"I am accustomed to having...some task. I take it from what Ginny has told me of my reputation that breeding my beauties again would be...ill-advised. I would like to learn your language properly, but...."

"The language we could work on. The basilisks, er, might not go over very well. I don't know where you'd put them... aren't they rather large?"

Herpo blinked. "Slightly larger than an average snake, perhaps, but not overly so. Mine were still young, of course."

"The giant one was supposed to be several hundred years old," Ginny said in an odd tone. "It could hardly have started out that large from a chicken's egg."

"Several hundred years? I had no idea they could live so long!" Herpo exclaimed, his eyes lighting up with excitement. "How large did it grow?"

Ginny shrugged a bit sharply. "I don't remember."

"Twenty or thirty feet long, a couple of feet in diameter," Harry said in a detached voice. "It was supposed to be around a thousand years old, but I didn't exactly get around to asking it. It was attacking students, you know."

"But... wouldn't it have listened to you if you told it to stop?"

"I doubt it. It was being directed by Voldemort, sort of, and around the end it wasn't listening to him much either."

Herpo sighed sadly. "They were not so violent by nature. They would defend themselves, but not attack. Until, it seems, they were driven to it. I should have protected them better."

There was a pause as most of the room tried to digest the idea of a basilisk being in need of protection. Ron finally broke it with, "Do we really want to know how?"

Herpo blinked at him. "How what? To protect them? That is simple -- not to have abandoned them to fend for themselves as mere children, to leave them with no recourse but to go to hunt when they did not know the difference between populated lands and open. To keep them from those who would fear them only because of what they were."

"I hate to tell you this," Ron said slowly, "but there's a reason most people are scared of something that literally kills you if you look at it the wrong way. And you have got to meet Hagrid."

"They needed protection!" Herpo retorted fiercely.

Ron frowned. "Wouldn't the fangs have -- Hermione!" He abandoned the sentence and popped to his feet as the fire flared up.

"Hello! Is this a good time?"

"Course it is. Come on over."

Hermione's head disappeared from the fire, and seconds later the flames turned green and she stepped out clutching (to the surprise of no one who knew her) several large books, just as Ron was finishing up with "I was saying, wouldn't the fangs have done it?"

"There are easy ways to avoid fangs in other snakes. The stare is more difficult," Herpo told Ron proudly, then stood up and bowed slightly to Hermione. "Greetings, lady."

Hermione nodded to him over her books and very carefully tried a greeting in Greek, then added in English, "Do you think we could start with the translation spell? I know whatever he said first had snakes in it but that's really about all... and not exactly surprising."

"Oh, right," Ginny said quickly, jumping to her feet. "I'd forgotten. I'll just go get the copies of the incantations." She disappeared through the doorway.

"But I..." Hermione stopped and shrugged as Ginny disappeared. "Brought them. Oh well. Ron, what are we talking about? Obviously I arrived in the middle of something...."

"How the ickle basilisks need protecting from the harsh world, apparently."

Herpo frowned at Ron.

"Well," said Hermione, blinking and carefully setting her books down on the table with a sigh of relief, "that's unique."

"What did she say?" Herpo asked the nearest Weasley.

"Just that, er, it's a unique perspective," George replied.

Ginny hurried back in, waving two pieces of parchment. "I have them. Herpo, you'll just need to read this with Hermione this time, so you two can understand each other."

"Could we check my pronunciation first?" Hermione asked quickly. Ginny 'translated' and Herpo listened obligingly while Hermione rattled off the incantation in ancient Greek and then gave him an anxious look.

"Your vowels should be a little longer, but very good," Herpo told her with warm approval, then repeated the incantation for her correctly. Hermione listened with her brow furrowed, then repeated it again. Herpo smiled broadly. "Perfect."

"She would get it that fast," Ron said with amusement. "I bet if we left them around each other for two weeks they'd both be fluent, and never mind the spell."

For the sake of efficiency, however, they performed the translation spell, which behaved itself perfectly.

"There we are," Hermione said once it had taken hold. "I'm Hermione Granger, and it's very nice to meet you. Now could you please explain about protecting basilisks?"

Herpo blinked a little, but was starting to take these people's oddities in stride now, so he simply shrugged and replied, "Harry told me of how my poor beauties were killed after I...disappeared. Had I been there, it would never have come to such an end."

"Oh... so they didn't hunt people as long as you were there to ask them not to?"

"Why would they hunt people? People are not a very good food source unless there is little alternative. They ate as all snakes do. They only would hurt people if they came to our cave uninvited."

Hermione privately resolved not to take up spelunking, and shrugged. "Well, no, I suppose not if they start out small enough to hatch from a chicken's egg, but that is rather what they're famous for. So they were guards?"

"Guards... friends. They were mine."

Hermione tilted her head. "Is that why you made them? To have someone to talk to?"

"Snakes are better companions than people," Herpo said harshly.

Hermione blinked and sat back a bit, then said lightly, "I suppose I can't be offended; I used to say the same about books."

Herpo blushed a bit. "Better than the people I knew, I should say. Everyone here has been very kind."

She grinned. "Now that's no surprise."

"Better, for certain, than I would have been had one of you appeared in the middle of my cave. I am grateful. And pleased to meet you, since I appear to have skipped that step."

"Well, I sidetracked you asking questions... I'm sorry if I overdid it?"

"No, I do not mind. I have been expecting far more questions than I have been asked thus far, at any rate."

Hermione's eyes glinted. "I bet I could make up for that."

Ron started laughing. "I think you should run, mate."

Herpo glanced at him uncertainly; Ginny clapped a hand over her eyes and protested, "She's not that bad."

"Oh, thank you so much, Ginny. What a vote of confidence," Hermione put in drily.

"Oi, Ginny, I'm allowed to make fun of her. You're not." Ron winked at Herpo. "More teasing, don't worry. Hermione's the smartest witch in our class. She'll ask you questions all you want."

"I made a list, actually... but of course you can tell me to stop if you like...."

"No, that will be fine. There are many things I would like to know as well, so perhaps your questions will provide a good starting point."

"That would be good," she agreed. "Of course you can still tell me to drop a subject if you like -- I'm afraid I'm not very strong on tact even in a culture I'm familiar with."

Herpo grinned. "You are honest, which is important above all. Ask your questions. I will answer what I can."

She started off with the processes of hatching, feeding, and generally caring for basilisks, which seemed to be a safe enough topic as long as it didn't involve demonstrations. The first one that gave him pause, however, was "Why a cave?"

"Because...I needed shelter, a place to live and raise my beauties in peace. It could not be among people. They would not understand and would try to hurt my beauties. And I...was not welcome among them at any rate," he confessed, not quite looking at her. "I have no talent for building things, so a cave seemed the best option."

"Oh. ...I see." She looked down at her list, having gone merrily along from memory and adding things suggested by the conversation and thereby lost her place.

"If I may ask a question of my own?" Herpo suggested when Hermione seemed to have paused. "You mentioned one of my beauties being at your school for magic? Do you know any about why it was there, or who raised her?"

"Well... the legend is that when one of the four Founders of our school, Salazar Slytherin, left -- over the question of whether to admit Muggle-born students -- he left it... ah... her? ... in a secret chamber somewhere in the school, to be brought out eventually by his Heir and rid the school of the students he considered unsuitable. Even the existence of the chamber was dismissed by most people as only a story, for quite some time, and no one seemed to know what 'Slytherin's monster' actually was -- although it wasn't terribly surprising that it turned out to be a type of serpent; I think quite a few people guessed it would."

"Like you," Ron put in with a grin. "Hermione's the one who figured the whole thing out first when the basilisk started attacking."

"Attacking children?" Herpo looked dismayed. "This Salazar must have been horrible..."

"The other three must have seen something in him," Hermione said, "but sometimes it's hard to imagine what. His House is... not exactly made up of the easiest people to deal with."

"He has students, then, still at this school? I thought the basilisk was many centuries old..."

"It was...well, as far as anyone knows, and I did get a glimpse of it,"she noted wryly, "Although not exactly an extended one for obvious reasons. I can imagine it would have taken that long to grow so large. But there are four Houses to the school; we're Sorted by...character and priorities, I suppose, based on what each of the Founders wanted in their students."

"Ahh. That is an intriguing means of schooling. Though I confess, the idea of a school for magic is... incredible."

"Well, that's what I thought at first, but I suspect for wildly different reasons." Hermione grinned.

Herpo looked puzzled. "How do you mean? Are you from a different land as well?"

"No, Muggle-born. I didn't know magic was real before I got the letter from Hogwarts."

He shook his head slowly. "They had told me of these 'Muggles' who did not even believe magic was real, but... I never thought to meet one."

"Just to clarify the terminology, 'Muggle' is technically someone who can't do magic, whether they know about it or not -- but I would've been assumed to be one, generally, until it started showing up, I suppose." She looked amused. "There's probably some irony here in the amount of credit Greek thought gets for the thought processes that went toward explaining everything by science -- when Muggles started thinking like that and wizards started elaborately hiding the use of magic, the two kind of fed on each other."

Herpo snorted. "The only ones who thought that way were those with no abilities of their own. They sought logical explanations to everything, when magic was far simpler."

"But I hardly think the majority of phenomena can be attributed directly to magical intervention, so it makes no sense to --" Hermione paused and then propped her head on one hand and started laughing.

The Greek wizard blinked at her a few times, then turned to look imploringly at Ginny. "I still do not understand this humor..."

"I'm not sure I do either," Ginny said truthfully.

"I'm sorry," Hermione said in a rather strangled tone. "It was just... something about realizing what I was arguing, and with whom, and... this does not make a lot of sense, so don't worry about it."

"I realize I am...somewhat infamous to you in this time, but I did not think I was laughable..."

"Er, no. It's more... I seem to end up defending science to wizards or magic to Muggles -- well, my parents at least -- no matter which way I turn, so that I've frequently felt it was almost everyone I meet. And I suddenly felt very silly about starting the same thing with a Greek wizard from centuries ago... I'm sorry. I'll try to carry on a sensible conversation now."

"Ahh." Herpo nodded wisely. "I shall try to avoid questioning your Muggles, then. Do you have more questions?"

"Oh, you can, I didn't mean that!" Hermione sounded vaguely appalled and definitely alarmed at the idea that she'd discouraged him from asking anything.

"I believe I have enough questions for now simply about the magical world. But you have more questions?"

"Well, yes, but --"

"But the fact that he's put up with them this long is practically a miracle?" Ron suggested brightly. Hermione threw a quill at him; she had started taking notes somewhere around the proper feeding of an infant basilisk, which was worrying Harry no end.

"I do not mind," Herpo said graciously.

"No, you're not here to be interrogated," Ginny told him with another bright smile.

"I was actually going to say that I thought we could probably leave the rest for later," Hermione said ruefully, "but nobody's going to believe me now."

"I will believe you," Herpo offered. "But what, then, were you going to suggest?"

"Er... nothing in particular, just that I should probably stop monopolizing you. And maybe a glass of water?" She looked hopefully at Ron, who grinned and showed off a Summoning Charm to the benefit of both sides of the interrogation.

"There are clearly many magical advances I need to catch up on," Herpo sighed. "Perhaps I need to be applying for this school of yours."

"Ah... they only take students between the ages of eleven and eighteen, actually," Hermione said apologetically. 'But I'm quite sure there would be some other way to catch up if you like." She hesitated. "I could help with some things, I suppose -- but I have no idea what you do and don't know already, aside from the basilisks.'

"Unfortunately, neither do I. As... one of the identical ones said earlier, if I already knew the problems, I would not need help discovering them."

Hermione considered this. "Well, can you give me a basic idea of what you do know how to do, and vice versa? Though I suspect it might be more awkward for you, since I was taught most of it all in neat categories...."

"...It is hard to sum up one's complete magical knowledge. I know...many healing spells, many shielding ones. I never recieved formal training such as you have. I am mostly self-taught, so it is hard to say."

~Healing and shielding. So much for our latest 'Dark wizard.'~ There was of course the theoretical possibility that he was lying, but if so he was very good at it, and after all the history books had been remarkably conscious of their own vagueness about him. "Hmm... well, between that and the fact that if you experiment you've no doubt created some spells I've never heard of, and maybe some that aren't known, I'm not really surprised it's hard...." She ran through a list of her own classes at Hogwarts, then shrugged. "I honestly wouldn't know where to start except at the beginning, and you'd have to put up with telling me what was too basic until we got somewhere reasonable. ...Would you be willing to teach me, too? ...If you wanted to work with me at all, that is. I'm sure you could find someone more knowledgeable and certainly a more experienced teacher."

"I would be happy with anything you could teach me."

"Hermione," Ginny spoke up suddenly, "is there a kind of translation spell for written languages too? Because if we could get it to where he'd understand it, we could just give him a Standard Book of Spells or something and get a basis from there."

Hermione lit up. "Of course! Though for reasons I haven't had a chance to get into, it tends to be viewed as less useful than the conversational one... I don't know it though, let me look it up."

"You have books to teach magic?" Herpo asked. "Perhaps a history text could be included?"

"Excellent idea," Hermione said absently from the depths of a spellbook.

"Don't worry, she'll pay attention to us again once she's found the spell," Harry advised Herpo, grinning. "She tends to get sort of involved."

Hermione shot Harry a dirty look over the top of the book.

"I think she is paying more attention than you... pretend to think." This guess at the dynamic was rewarded with a bright and entirely unrepentant half-grin from the other resident Parselmouth -- as the previous half of the grin had been directed at Hermione.

"Found it!" Hermione announced triumphantly. "I knew I'd come across it when I was searching for the other translation spell. It looks simple enough." She started scribbling on a piece of parchment, then finished with a flourish and blew on it a bit to dry. "It's a very simple incantation, but you'll have to say it over each new text, I'm afraid. Although I suppose that's impetus to learn the language on your own," she finished impishly. Hermione handed the scrap of parchment to Ginny, adding, "Ginny can read you the incantation whenever we find you the books you want. All right?"

"Thank you. I am again in your debt," Herpo told her with another small bow.

"Oh, not at all, this is fun." She beamed at him.

Herpo shook his head. "I think my translation spell must be malfunctioning. Surely you could not have just called this 'fun'."

Hermione blinked. "Whyever not?"

"Trying to find odd spells to solve obscure problems from a time-displaced Dark wizard? You have a very strange notion of fun."

"Trying to find odd spells to solve obscure problems is always fun, especially when it's not also life-or-death how fast I find one." She paused. "And are you a Dark wizard, really?"

Herpo shrugged. "That is my reputation, is it not? In my own time as well as this one. What does it matter?"

"Well," Hermione said slowly, "you don't seem to have any ambitions to kill, torture, or mind-control people, put them into potions for nefarious purposes, or take over the world. I suppose I could be wrong, of course, as I don't know you particularly well, but it would rather matter if you did. I've been going by the fact that the books are -- for reasons that recently became a lot more obvious -- self-admittedly very vague about you and my own perceptions to conclude that you seem quite nice."

"I am not nice. I am lowly, tricky, sneaky, serpent-tongued. I am Foul. Do not you read your own books?" Herpo stopped short and put a hand to his head. "What I want is to be left alone. What wish would I have to take over the world? I do not wish to see it."

"Of course I read them. You've been nice to me; I don't know about lowly; tricky and sneaky could describe Odysseus and he gets an epic; and serpent-tongued describes -- at the risk of sounding cliche here -- one of my best friends." She paused. "You really have not come to the right house for solitude, though."

He looked sideways at Ginny and said, "That, I have noticed."

"It's possible to get away by yourself," Ginny said, flushing a bit, "but not always easy. If you want me to let you alone anytime, though, you just have to say so."

"I do not mean to speak against you. I simply...wish her to understand."

"Well...." Hermione hesitated. "In that case perhaps you could clarify whether you mean you don't want any company at all, or just don't want... problematic company?"

"There has never been a difference before. You think I shut myself in a cave with none but my beauties as company for pleasure? And they trouble me only because I am an evil, Dark wizard. So. Now you understand."

"If you were," she said slowly, "you'd have 'troubled' them first. And on purpose," she added as he opened his mouth.

He jerked one shoulder up sharply in a shrug. "I am but one, they are many. Who am I to say they were wrong?"

"I'll admit arguing might not have been prudent, but that doesn't make them right. Apparently we're working from different definitions of 'Dark wizard'; would it work better if I said you didn't seem malicious?"

Herpo made a sharp motion in the air with his hand. "Enough. I know of what I speak. I intend you no harm, you may be certain of that. But of the rest...no more."

"I didn't think you did," Hermione said evenly. Her eyes had narrowed very slightly. "I think I'd better go ahead and warn you, though, not to go claiming to be a Dark wizard in this time. People are still... sensitive on the topic."

"And simply saying I am Herpo, the Foul, will not make them equally suspicious?"

"You could probably," she suggested drily, "express some legitimate annoyance with your reputation."

"And do you think that will help?" Herpo returned cynically. "Protesting my reputation has never helped before."

"Well, currently it's based on the idea that you created the basilisks for revenge and deliberately sent them out to attack people. I should think correcting that impression ought to help." Hermione sighed and smiled wryly. "Now, granted I have been known to overestimate how sensible people are going to be, but I'm improving."

"And I tend to underestimate them. Perhaps...if the people in this time and place are anything like those here at the Burrow, it will help. I doubt it. But I will do what I can to correct the impression." Herpo looked somewhat daunted by this prospect. This was completely misleading, of course. He was actually terrified. To seek out people, and their opinions, for such a nebulous purpose as a reputation?

He was very tempted to find another cave.

"Well, the Weasleys are something special...." Her mouth twitched. "Hagrid would almost definitely like you, I think, though it might depend on how you are with non-serpentine 'interesting creatures' as he calls them."

"I have rarely dealt with beasts other than serpents." Herpo looked worried. "Will this be a problem?"

"Not if you aren't taking classes from him. He's very nice, really, it's just that he's generally extremely fond of animals most people find terrifying."

"Ah. I know this feeling well." He clasped his hands together in front of him. "If the Weasleys are unusual, what may I expect from others?"

"Anything from fascination to astonishment to, unfortunately, the conviction that the history books are right even where they were guessing. Confusion will probably be a very prominent response...We don't exactly have people time-traveling long periods very often."

"I am ever unique, it seems," Herpo said with a wry and slightly wistful smile. "I suppose it would be too much to hope for another quiet cave and no one knowing of my existence? I have often preferred that..."

"You can't go and live in a cave again!" Ginny interrupted, appalled. She looked abashed the next instant and added, "I mean, I suppose if you really wanted to, but I can't imagine it would be very comfortable and...." She trailed off. "Well, I shouldn't think you'd want to if you didn't have to, that's all."

Herpo looked at her with wide eyes. "I...do not mind. They are not so uncomfortable. ...Somewhat cold." He shrugged. "I simply do not wish to cause conflict..."

"There's nothing saying you can't be a hermit if you like," Ron said with a shrug of his own, "but that doesn't mean you've got to go find a cave. I suppose we'd have to let the Ministry know about you, but not necessarily the papers or so on...."

"We'd feel dreadful about it if you did," Ginny added earnestly.

"...Why?"

"Well...because you're a very nice person, and we'd hate to see you shut yourself up in some cave just because you don't want to cause trouble. You can stay with us if nothing else. And there are a lot of nice people who'd just love to meet you."

"You could probably stay with me and Ron if you wanted, too," Harry added, "but Mrs. Weasley's a much better cook than either of us, and it might be hard to stay out of the news that way if that's what you want."

Herpo shrank back a little in his chair, looking bewildered, and Ginny sat up rather worriedly when she saw tears in his eyes. He could understand the idea that they might accept him temporarily, out of a strong sense of host-obligation, though most would not have considered this to apply to him. But to argue against him if he offered to remove himself from their home...? And with feeling, not fear?

"I don't -- you need not -- just because --" He stopped and tried again. "You I can almost understand," he said, looking toward Harry, "but... the rest of you...."

Arthur stepped in as Herpo's voice failed. "Ginny and Ron are both quite right. We would understand, of course, if you wanted to find a place of your own -- we realize it tends to be crowded here, probably a bit overwhelming for someone used to solitude -- but we could hardly send you off to a cave!"

"But...I am accustomed to it. I -- I do not understand why... I am nothing to you. I am nothing! Why would you..." He closed his eyes and asked softly, "Why would you risk someone so ill-omened as myself?"

Ginny sighed and went over to Herpo's chair. "Maybe you're accustomed to it," she said softly, "but we aren't, and we don't really like to think of your being. You as good as said to Hermione that it wouldn't be your choice, not that I'd really have thought it would anyway, and we don't want to send you back to that. And anyway, we like you."

"But why? I am... nothing," Herpo said softly, his hand in front of his eyes. "You would be far better advised to send me away and hope that nothing of me taints your good name."

"No." Ginny pulled his hand down and squeezed his arm. "And you're not 'nothing' and you aren't tainted. And we aren't sending you anywhere."

"You should. You are fools!" Herpo surged to his feet, shaking off her arm, and made his way quickly if a bit unsteadly through the people scattered across the room and out the back door into the garden.

Ginny stared after him in shock.

"That went well," George said wryly, going over to the window and peering out. "He hasn't gone far, he's stopped to stare at the zucchini. Suppose someone ought to go talk to him before he freezes or the gnomes eat him; who'll he listen to?"

"Ginny," several voices answered at once.

Ginny turned back to look at them. "Me? I'm the one who just made him run out, if you didn't notice."

"Yes, but you're also the one who's talked to him the most today," Ron pointed out. "And he seemed to like you. Not like that!" he clarified quickly when she started to glare. "Just...he seemed to listen to you before."

"Besides, it's either you or Harry, since he can clarify the whole 'we don't necessarily think Parselmouths are evil' issue, and honestly, I think you're better at being reassuring," Hermione added earnestly.

Harry blinked. "I would be offended at that, only I agree."

"I appreciate the sentiment, but... oh, all right, but I hope I don't just make things worse again." Ginny peered worriedly out the window, then went to the door and slipped outside.

Herpo had his arms wrapped very tightly around himself as he approached, though he wasn't shivering as badly as the previous day, since the borrowed night robes were far warmer than his own robes. He was staring at the row of zucchini in front of him as if it was the most fascinating thing in the world. "Herpo?" Ginny asked tentatively. "...Wouldn't you be more comfortable inside? You don't want to get sick again."

"I am fine," he said stiffly.

This was not, in Ginny's opinion, either convincing or helpful. "I'm beginning to agree with my mother," she said under her breath, "about how often that statement is believable." She considered putting a hand on his arm again, but decided that hadn't worked very well last time. "...Please don't run off again. I didn't mean to upset you."

"I only want to protect your family. You have been very kind to me. You do not deserve to be associated with me."

"It's really not likely to hurt us."

"I have hurt everyone I have ever been associated with," Herpo said in a low, rasping voice. "Why should you be any different? It is better if those like me are kept away from decent people!"

"You are decent; if you weren't you wouldn't even be worried about hurting us! If this is because you're a Parselmouth," she added more quietly, "I should probably remind you we're already associated with one."

"I--I know. But... Ginny, you do not understand. You could not understand. I meant what I said, that I am ill-omened. I bring only pain and disgrace." He closed his eyes. "I wish to bring neither to your family."

"Thank you. But I don't think you will." She bit her lip thoughtfully. "It would be... disgraceful, as far as we're concerned, to turn you away when we could help because we were afraid of...of bad luck. Though you're quite right, I don't really understand why you think you are."

Herpo was silent for a long moment, shivering slightly. Finally he looked over at her and said softly, "I know you thought my family... disgraceful for turning me out, when I told you of them. But if they had not, their own neighbors would have turned on them -- destroyed their home, driven them away. All for the crime of claiming me as a son. I would never have wished such a fate on them, but it threatened all the same. How else am I to think of myself but bad luck at best, a monster at worst?"

Ginny stopped nibbling at her lip and bit down harder for a moment to drive back a hint of tears. "It wasn't your fault," she said softly. "I...suppose I shouldn't blame your parents, maybe your neighbors didn't know better, but it wasn't right. And it still wasn't your fault. I couldn't blame you for being angry, either -- though I'm glad to know it wasn't true you set the basilisks on them -- but it hurts to hear you call yourself a monster."

"I never had to let any know of my ability. I could have never spoken Parseltongue and no one would have known, my family would never have been in danger! But I still did. Though I tried to keep it secret, I failed. And my family suffered the consequences. Tell me that is not a monster! If it were not a mark of evil, I could have resisted the temptation and protected them. But I was selfish. I was and am a monster!"

"We've all done things we wish we hadn't, and... some turn out worse than others. You weren't trying to hurt anyone." Ginny was staring at the zucchini now. "I talked -- wrote -- to a diary that answered back even though I knew it could be dangerous, and by the time I really knew what was going on I fought it and failed -- and I'm lucky not to have killed anyone."

"...I am sorry."

"I wasn't asking -- I meant --" She stopped and sighed. "Everybody's selfish sometimes. I don't even know if I'd agree that what you did qualifies -- but I wasn't there, I know, I'm not arguing," she added quickly. "It went... especially badly for you, obviously, and I'm sorry, but it doesn't mean you're evil."

"I have never thought I was evil," Herpo admitted softly, staring fixedly at the ground. "My abilities, perhaps, but mostly... ill-favored." He smiled mirthlessly. "Bad luck. I am safer confined where I may harm none... though apparently even that did not work where my beauties were concerned."

"I... think that was... a lot of it was circumstance. We're not likely to be attacked for having you here, and we're not likely to run amok and be killed for it if you go -- er, but we still don't want you to. I think you've had a lot of bad luck; that doesn't mean you're going to cause it...."

"You say a terrible Dark wizard was only recently defeated by your people. Would none, then, think ill of you for taking in another who is rumored to be Dark?"

"Probably, which is why correcting the impression would be a good idea," she retorted.

He sighed. "You seem determined not to let me help you."

"Mostly because I don't see how your leaving would be a help!"

"I could do you no harm if I were away from you."

"I don't think you're going to harm us from here."

"I tell you, I harm everything!"

"And I tell you, you WON'T! Just give us a chance, please? We don't want you to disappear. You're... nice. I'd like to get the chance to get to know you. Please?"

"I--" Herpo was silent for a very long moment. He finally said heavily, "It seems you leave me little choice."

"I'm asking. We're not going to force you to stay -- but we don't want you to leave thinking we don't want you here, or that you'd hurt us by staying. We'd miss you. Yes, already. And we don't want you... not to have anywhere safe and...and warm to go. Do you think a cave here would be any warmer than in Greece?"

"I... have never known anyone like you and yours, Ginny. I... do not know how to deal with you."

Now she did put a hand on his arm -- gently -- and smiled at him. "Stay with us and find out."

Herpo took a breath. "I -- I thank you. I will try. But if... if at any point you have warning that my presence will go ill for you, I beg you to tell me."

"We will, I promise." She impulsively gave him a tight hug. "Now let's go back inside?"

He froze in shock when she threw her arms around him, certain despite a faint sense of alarm that Ginny wouldn't be attacking him but not at all used to the feeling in spite of that -- and certainly not expecting it from a girl, though the mores here were clearly very different....

But she was warm, and though the motion had been sudden and fierce it didn't hurt, and after a few seconds Herpo started breathing again and very gingerly put an arm around her shoulders as well. "Ve -- Very well. But... why are you...."

"...I wanted to make you feel better." She released him and stepped back a little. "I suppose I startled you, I'm sorry. But it... seemed like you might need one."

No one touched him. His beauties had, but until he came here they had been the only ones in years; even those who wanted to hurt him tried to strike with spell or something thrown. But here they did. Things were clearly different here.... Was it possible that they could be that different, that he could really be...simply a person, not evil or ill-omened, but a person who lived an ordinary life? It seemed too much to hope for. He would suspect this was only a dream, except he would never dream of his poor beauties' terrible fates.

"I s-suppose I did..."

Ginny swallowed hard against tears at his expression and hugged him again, a little less suddenly. She could feel him shaking and started to tighten her arms, then worried suddenly that she wasn't sure exactly where the old wound was and might hurt him. But she hadn't the first time, so she was probably all right.

Herpo felt the arms tighten around him again and very hesitantly tightened his own arm. "...Thank you, Ginny," he said thickly. "I... should return and apologize to your parents for being so... ungracious."

"It's all right, they won't be angry -- they were just worried. But yes, we should go back in."

He followed as she led him back in, her hand still on his arm. Despite her words, he had no doubt the elder Weasleys would be upset at his rudeness. This only seemed confirmed when everyone stopped talking and turned to look at him when he and Ginny returned. Looking firmly at the floor, Herpo bowed slightly and said, "My apologies for my conduct, to you all. I was unforgiveably rude after all the kindness you have shown me."

"Oh, don't be silly -- Ginny didn't mean to scare you off," one of the twins said brightly before anyone else could speak.

Arthur coughed slightly. "I'd hardly go that far. I'm aware we can be...." His eyes darted to Harry, who smiled wryly. "...A little overwhelming. I'm quite glad you decided to come back, though."

"I...would like to accept your offer of hospitality, though I implore you to tell me if I become a danger to your family."

"I can't imagine how you'd manage that without knowing about it," Molly said with a trace of amusement as she came over and -- apparently having concluded that if her daughter could get away with it, so could she -- enfolding Herpo in a firm and welcoming hug. "It will be all right, dear, really. You mustn't worry."

Herpo stiffened for a moment, then closed his eyes and leaned into the hug. He straightened quickly, but the brief embrace reminded him of the days before his ability had driven him to hide.... Though Molly was nothing like his own mother, she reminded him of the days when an embrace was nothing to fear. "Th-thank you," he whispered thickly. "I do not deserve... but thank you."

"It's not a question of deserving. You're here," she told him. And on inspection, he looked much better after a bath, a good night's sleep, and some decent food.

"I am still grateful. Please tell me if there is anything I may do to aid you."

"Well, you could think about joining in on the joke shop," Fred suggested, "but we aren't changing the name."

This set most of the room laughing. Including one of the chairs. As this was the chair Herpo had been sitting in until a few minutes ago, he became very wary of returning to it now. Instead he perched cautiously at one end of the overstuffed red sofa. He offered, "I do not know many jokes, but those I know may be unfamiliar to this time."

"Well, it's mostly stuff for practical jokes... like fake wands, the Canary Creams, other kinds of candy.... We're competing with Zonko's, but it's doing pretty well."

"Ah..." Herpo considered this for a long moment, then suggested, "My -- someone I knew once enjoyed practical jokes of that manner. He once turned -- his father into a goat with an enchanted oil-jug, and his mother tied him to the back of the house for the entire day before the spell wore off." Herpo's face wore an expression that could nearly be called a smile.

No one in the room missed the hesitations, but none of them asked either.

"That was clever," George remarked approvingly.

"He thought so, even after a month of punishment for it." A small smile. "Though if it is your business, your own parents are surely more understanding of... experimentation."

George and Fred traded a look and burst out laughing.

"Probably a little, but mostly those two are just incorrigible," Ginny said with a grin. "They've moved most of their experiments out of the house recently, though, so there are considerably fewer explosions from their room."

"Ah. And... the rest of your family? What is it wizards do as employ in this time?"

"Well, Dad's in the Ministry -- Misuse of Muggle Artifacts, specifically -- and so's Percy, only he's back in equipment regulations now. Bill's my oldest brother; he's a curse-breaker for Gringotts -- er, that's the wizarding bank -- and Charlie's a dragon tamer. Though that one's pretty unusual."

"Why is that unusual? Dragons are very useful, and need much tending."

"Well... they're also very dangerous, and most people don't want to work with them."

"Ah. I suppose."

"Have you met any?"

"Seen, yes. I would not be so foolish as to try to meet one, with the opinion most of their trainers held of me."

"Ah. Charlie'd be thrilled if you were interested, trust us."

Herpo perked up considerably. "Really? He would allow me to meet his charges? I would be honored."

"He'd love it." Ginny paused. "Were there a lot of trained dragons where you were...? It seems to have been a lost art for a while."

"There were many. They were, as I said, very useful. There was a witch nearby named Medea who had a pair to draw her chariot."

"Considering how much time he's apparently spent trying to convince people they're useful as well as interesting...." She laughed. "We've got to get him home to visit soon."

"I would enjoy meeting him, I am certain."

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