Moon and Stone

Salazar's friends had slept less than he that night, and when the full moon dropped entirely below the horizon they hurried to the chamber and Godric cold-melted the stone back as rapidly as he had ever moved it. And then froze in horror for a second at the sight. Only a second; then he forced his limbs to move, to step aside, and said hoarsely, "Helga--"

She darted past him with a soft gasp; Rowena covered her mouth as they followed the healer. "You two," Helga said in a low voice, crouching beside him, "help me -- we have to get him somewhere more comfortable, and I want to start the spells while we move him."

They lifted him delicately with feather-soft spells and carried him with smooth motions as Helga walked alongside. Godric shook his head. "It wasn't -- it wasn't this bad last time, was it, Helga? What have we done to him?"

Rowena's voice had tears in it, though her eyes looked dry. "He must have tried to get out -- and turned on himself when he couldn't --" She swallowed. "And we thought this would be better than the silver."

"He was so against the idea of using silver. It horrified him," Godric said numbly. "He wouldn't have let us. But this.... He couldn't have expected...." His throat closed and he couldn't get anything else out.

"I was so sure we'd thought of everything," Helga said softly, her wand still busy. The first thing she'd done was cast Caduceus again -- if he'd ever needed the peace it brought him, it was now! But there was so much else to mend...

"We'll have to look into...other ways," Rowena said unsteadily. "There has to be something else we can do. Something more."

"I don't know. I thought we'd thought of everything," Helga repeated, crying now as Rowena and Godric settled him ever-so-gently on a soft pallet in Helga's infirmary. "There's so much damage.... He must have been in so much pain, the whole night...."

"So did we," Godric said softly, placing his hands on her shoulders. "So did we -- but," he swallowed, "he will still be glad to be sure of not having harmed anyone, I think, and your skills will do much for him. And we'll simply have to think of something else -- perhaps I did give him too much room after all --"

"Or we could give him something to hunt, perhaps," Rowena suggested, holding one of Salazar's hands comfortingly while Helga worked. "If he had a...rabbit or a pig or something to attack instead, he might not turn on himself." She leaned her head back against Godric's shoulder as he moved back to let Helga work. "Or perhaps Godric just needs to make softer stone."

"I could try that -- I would have to keep my mind on it to make it cushion the blows without giving way entirely, at least at this stage, but it's not as if my mind wasn't there anyway." Godric sighed. "Maybe both...."

Salazar chose this moment to regain some semblance of consciousness. He could hear their voices swirling around him, though he couldn't really focus on any of their voices without more effort than he really wanted to expend at this moment. He was dimly aware of pain -- pain everywhere -- but he needed to see his friends first, just for a little while. Then he'd go back to sleep....

He pried his eyelids open a tiny bit, just enough to see Helga's face hovering just over his, her lips moving in muttered spells. She looked upset. She'd been crying. Had he managed to hurt someone after all? Salazar broke out in a cold sweat as he tried to force his mouth to work. "Ssssomeone hurt?" he slurred out at last. "Didn't work?"

Helga's eyes pooled with tears again, terrifying him, but she kept at her spells and wasn't the one to answer him. "You haven't hurt anyone else," Godric's voice said softly. "Only yourself -- and I'm very sorry for that...."

"Ssssorry?" Salazar repeated, his eyes closing and lips stretching in a blissful smile. "No one hurt. Worked. Thank you." He wanted to be more eloquent than that, but it was all he could manage right now.

"Obviously he can't count in this state," Rowena muttered. But... well, at least he was happy about it. That was something, even if the healing was going to be hard.

"I told you he'd probably just be happy that no one else was hurt, regardless of the effect on him," Godric sighed. He reached out and touched Salazar's shoulder again, wishing he could do something more without disrupting Helga's work. "You were hurt, Salazar, and that matters to us even if it doesn't to you. We'll try to find a way to make it better next time."

"I'll... recover." Salazar managed another weak smile in Helga's direction. "With thissss... tending, I'll probably be better than ussssual in a few dayss anyway.... Sss-"

"If you're about to apologize for my making the effort," Helga spared a breath to say, "don't."

"And you'll forgive us if we don't particularly want to see our friend in such a state once a month," Rowena added dryly. "We'll find a way, you'll see. This was only the first try, after all."

Salazar shut his eyes and a few tears started to pool in the corners. Godric touched one lightly. "We have... a few ideas already. But that can wait until you're feeling better."

"I feel wonderful," Salazar replied hoarsely. He kept his eyes closed, trying to compose himself. "You're all ssstill here..."

"Of course we are. We did say we would be."

"Ssssaying and doing aren't the sssame," Salazar retorted softly. "I'm glad you're here."

"...No, they aren't. But I try. All of us do."

"I know." Salazar leaned his head back slightly and said dreamily, "It worked beautifully, Godric. I couldn't get out. It wasss wonderful..."

"You've got... an unusual definition of 'wonderful.'" Godric glanced at Helga as she nibbled on her lip and then lowered her wand. All she could do without giving him a chance to regain some strength -- at least the wounds were closed. "We'll try to get you hurt less, next time..."

"Next time. You ssstill want a next time." Salazar reached out without opening his eyes and wrapped Helga's hand in his. "That'ss the wonderful part."

If she hadn't known how badly he had wanted friends, and how astonished he'd been to find them, she would have been half-surprised he wanted a next time. "Of course we do. It's a wonder you do, like this..." She drew a shaky breath. "You need water, and food if you can take it, and a wash and rest. I've done the best I can without wearing you out further."

"Of coursse I do. You three are the bessst thing that ever happened to me." He gave a contented -- and only slightly pained -- sigh. "Water and food and resst ssoundss wonderful." He smiled slightly. "As long as I don't fall asssleep in the ssoup."

"We promise not to let you drown." Helga gave him a tender smile in return. "And we've got the soup ready. I can clean you off magically, if you like -- a hot bath might help your muscles, but the food's a bit more urgent, I'm afraid."

"Then thank you. I'm ssure the ssoup iss wonderful." He smiled beautifically at her, an odd contrast to the pain still lurking in his eyes. "It'ss sso nicce to have friendss here."

She managed to smile back, a little more successfully now that the shock was over. "We're very fond of you too. Let's get you to bed, then."

"Mm. More women need to ssay that to me."

Godric snorted and patted Salazar's shoulder, still carefully. "I suppose that means you're feeling better."

"You're all...sstill here." Salazar pried his eyes open against their will. They were HIS eyes, he got to tell them what to do...at least for a bit longer.... "I'd ussually wake up...out in the woodss ssomewhere... and if I'd sseen anyone elsse I would have known I'd done the worssssssst --" He broke that off and took a deep breath.

"You haven't," Helga said softly, squeezing his hand. "Not now, and not ever, if we have anything to say about it. We'll just...have to find a way to make it less harmful for you next time. But as Godric said, we're working on it. Now to get you cleaned up." She pointed her wand at him and said, "Scourgify."

The cleansing spell tingled, and Salazar thought it smelled of clean herbs -- and maybe a hint of silver, but not enough to hurt, and at any rate he was obviously imagining it since one could not exactly put silver into an incantation. He felt much fresher afterward; not as if he'd just had a bath, but certainly as if he had not gotten very dirty since his last one. "That'ss nice." He closed his eyes for a moment.

"Don't go to sleep just yet," Godric's voice said in his ear. "You need to eat, remember?"

Before he'd met them, eating after a full moon had to wait until he was in some shape to forage or hunt for himself, and preferably light a fire. But Salazar didn't mention that, didn't want to bring up how things had been before he met them. HE knew it had been a pale shadow of the life he enjoyed now, and that was enough. So he just smiled slightly as he opened his eyes. "Food ssoundss good. Thank you."

"Let's go then." He was being levitated this time, instead of lightened and carried -- probably because he wasn't half-frozen this time. No silver, probably... probably not very long on the stone; they'd promised...

He chuckled slightly. "I could get ussed to traveling like thiss. Where are we going?"

"Your room -- if that's all right? We'll bring the soup in, of course."

"Oh, of coursse. I wass sstarting to think the infirmary wass my room by now," Salazar said with a wry smile. "I wass jusst hoping you didn't think I wass up to the Great Hall yet."

"Well, it's not as if we have guests," Rowena said in an amused tone that covered her uneasiness at his confusion. "I can't think it's the most comfortable room in the keep, though."

"Exccept for me. But I don't think I want to ssit at a table for a while, no matter how good Helga's sspellss are."

"Oh." Rowena gave him a wry smile she wasn't entirely sure he could see. "I wasn't really thinking of you as a guest."

Salazar's lips stretched in a smile so wide it was nearly painful. (Of course, breathing was painful right now, so why not smiling too?) "That'sss.... I -- Thank you, Rowena."

"I think it's been a while since any of us have," Godric said gently.

"...I have," Salazar replied after a long moment of silence.

There was a pause. "I'm sorry. We should have made it clear --" Godric looked down at him with a faint, wry smile. "Stop it. You're home. -- At least so far as we're concerned; I know there are...other places and people you miss."

"Yesss..." Salazar thought for a moment of his old home, of his welcoming mother, the father in whose footsteps he'd wanted to follow, his Gwen... his always-smiling sisters, the little brother who'd idolized everything Salazar had done...until he'd turned into a monster. He missed them so much it was like a physical ache, even after all the time and distance between them.

But that place and those people would never -- could never -- be his home again. This place and these people were warm and inviting and didn't care that he was no longer entirely human. They liked him anyway. He let out another contented little sigh as the levitation spells settled him gently down on his own bed. "It'ss been a long time ssincce I had a home."

"Too long." Godric's voice, and Helga's in the background murmuring the spell to rearrange his cushions so he could eat. Salazar nodded agreement. "But we are glad of you now."

He meant it. That was the strangest thing.

Rowena must have gone for the soup, because she came back in with the smell of it. Something that had stewed for a long time; there was meat in it, but too long prepared and mixed with the vegetables to bring to mind too sharply the feel of living flesh between his teeth.

Salazar tried to hold the bowl himself and sup, but his hands were shaking too badly. Helga pushed it gently back onto the tray. "Hold on. There's bread too." That was easier, though she soaked the first piece and popped it into his mouth for him, with a mischievous grin.

The wolf hadn't been gone long enough for Salazar not to react to prey sticking its hand right into his mouth, but he was very stubborn and still physically very tired, so he fought it down to only a flash in his eyes and pulling back a little too quickly for politeness or comfort. He flushed in a combination of horror and embarrassment, averting his eyes as he broke off another piece of bread with shaking hands. "I can feed mysself, thank you."

"...I'm sorry." Helga sounded shaken herself; she had to know that he didn't usually flinch from them now, which meant she had to know that either she'd done something unusually alarming or he'd nearly...hurt her.... Salazar wanted to sink through the bed and hide. Just after all they'd said, and he'd gone and nearly -- nearly bitten down on her -- he couldn't remember anything for sure about if a bite from a werewolf in human form would have the same horrible result, but who'd take the chance... He felt her fingers brush his hair delicately back from his forehead. "I'm sorry, Salazar. I shouldn't have tried to take over."

"You're ssorry," he sighed in wearied disbelief. WHY did everything have to be so complicated? Why couldn't he just be with his friends, ill or not, and relax around them without risking...the unforgivable? "I...would jusst rather do it mysself. ...Thank you."

"Very well." Helga didn't move away from him, though, and he half felt she should but was so very grateful she didn't. But then, she'd carried him that first morning without apparent concern for exposing her throat to him, too.

"It wouldn't have changed her, I think," Godric said after watching Salazar eat -- very tensely -- for several moments. Salazar nearly upset his bowl. "I've been bitten by an untransformed werewolf -- long story -- and it didn't take."

"You -- what -- you could have mentioned earlier!"

"I didn't think about it. It never came up before." Godric's expression was distant. "She was only eight years old, and if I hadn't let go of her when she did, someone else wouldn't have caught her and...worse after."

"...Only eight?" Salazar said softly, with a slight shudder. Attacking a child was an even worse nightmare than attacking another person. He wondered briefly how the person who'd turned her had lived with himself... if he had. "I'm ssorry, I won't assk."

"If anyone has the right... but that's another reason I do not bring it up often."

Salazar shook his head. "You don't want to talk about it... and I don't want to know." He returned his attention to his soup, though his hands were shaking even more now.

It seemed there was little comfort to be offered, at that, so Godric nodded and they fell silent until Helga offered more bread. And smiled, gently, into his eyes, without that uneasy glance at his mouth that most of the very few people who even tried to be polite after finding out what he was tended to give. He couldn't have blamed her at this point, either....

He wasn't as ravenous as he was used to being after a transformation. Of course, that probably had something to do with eating well the rest of the month, and it wasn't as if he lacked appetite nonetheless, even if his stomach tried to turn over a few times with the thoughts of the little girl and of nearly biting Helga.

...He didn't remember THAT spell from before. He'd missed the incantation, but it felt as if something cool were running over all his bones and washing the aches from their twisting away. He dropped a sop of bread into the soup. "What wass that?"

"A new one, for me; I've been practicing. It's directed at the tendons." Helga aimed at the bowl and levitated the bit of bread out; he picked it out of the air.

"It feelss good. Very good." His hands were still shaking, but that was probably more emotional than physical. The rest of him wasn't shrieking in pain, at least...

"Excellent," she said with satisfaction. "It's supposed to." She patted the back of the hand he was resting against the bowl as he ate the soaked bread carefully, to avoid dripping. "And you don't seem to be too much affected otherwise, which means I can probably go ahead with some of the others -- I'll let you know if you need to be still for any, or keep them to later."

"I'm sstill not ussed to feeling thiss good sso ssoon after a full moon," Salazar admitted with a bit of a smile, finishing off the soup. "I could get ussed to thiss."

"That," Rowena murmured, "was the idea."

"Yes," Helga agreed. "And you have excellent timing, by the way; you might want to lie back a bit for this one." She paused, then added, "And maybe shut your eyes."

He obediently lay back and closed his eyes. "How is my timing exccellent?"

"You finished eating before I got to this one," she replied cheerfully.

She cast with motion only, no incantation, but Salazar felt it -- warmth this time, sliding deep into every place he'd bruised or bitten himself and healing better than the quick closure-spells had been able to do. His eyes drifted open without his really intending it, and he jumped; Godric put a hand on his shoulder.

That might have been why she'd said to shut his eyes. The magic was visible and very bright, and it glimmered yellow in places, but most of it looked like glowing silver. But it didn't hurt, so it must only be the color. Magic looked that way sometimes.

"...I never thought I'd like anything sssilver thiss much," he said slowly. But he closed his eyes again all the same. "Thiss iss...hsssssss." He trailed off into inarticulate hissing as the warmth penetrated even deeper. Now he understood what the lazy, contented hissing from snakes stretched out on a nice rock in the sun was really about.

"Well, it only looks that way, really, though that is part of the usual visualization to learn it..." The pillows shifted under him, lowering him further as the bright haze continued settling into bruises and shining light-shards dived into where the cuts had been -- he could see flickers of light even through his eyelids.

"It looks for all the world like knives with no handles, in places," Godric said bemusedly.

"To cut the pain," Helga replied flippantly. "No, seriously, it's a matter of how it's focused."

The warmth lingered for a while even after she completed that spell and went to work with the last few, then propped him up again gently and slipped her arm behind his shoulders. "Here. You should have some more water, I think."

"Hsss," he agreed contentedly, leaning against her comfortably. She was almost as warm as the spell, and softer. His eyes were still closed, but she smelled restfully of jasmine and mint. It really wasn't right to feel this good only the day after a full moon!

Then he realized he was practically burrowing into Helga and the warmth was suddenly due to a heated blush as he straightened. "Water. Yess, thank you."

It didn't help that Helga was trying and failing to give Godric and Rowena a stern glare for exchanging what appeared to be a meaningfully amused glance until they stopped and tried to look innocent. Helga shook her head at them and offered him the cup without moving away. "Here. And try not to mind their antics."

"If I can't undersstand them, I jusst try to ignore them," Salazar said wisely, sipping from the cup. He noticed that Helga had not pulled away. She was...very kind to him. "It ussually workss well."

"As long as they don't decide they must get your attention, at any rate." She grinned at him.

"Thankfully my attention iss not sso ssought after."

"Well, we could try," Rowena offered mischievously, "but perhaps we shouldn't distract you?"

"From drinking? I realizze I'm in bed, but I'm not that ssick. I'm perfectly capable of drinking water and sspeaking to you at the ssame time."

"Well, that might depend on what I said, but very well..."

"I can think of very little you'd be likely to ssay that would prevent me from drinking." He could think of many things she could say, but he honestly didn't think they were too likely anymore... He hoped.

"Oh... well... I probably shouldn't, but how about that I meant perhaps I shouldn't distract you from Helga?"

"I'm ssure sshe is capable of healing with or without my attention. Sshe'ss done sso before with me unconssciouss, after all."

"Her skills are certainly not in the least doubt."

"And MY sskillss are ccertainly not needed for thiss. Haven't you been healed before, Rowena?"

"Quite a few times." She smiled at him.

He shook his head slightly. "Then I'm not ssure why you're sso confused."

She grinned. "I don't think I'm confused in the least. The healing's over for the moment anyway, I believe."

"Sso it iss." Salazar decided to follow his own advice and ignore her now that she was confusing him. He turned back to Helga instead. "And a wonderful job as alwayss."

"I try." She smiled at him, at close range; Salazar noticed that she looked faintly pink herself. Exertion maybe.

"I hope you didn't tire yoursself too much," he said solicitously. "If you needed to leave ssomething undone until you've ressted ssome, I ccertainly wouldn't complain. I'm ussed to healing much sslower."

"Hm?" Helga looked a bit startled. "No, I'm well. I do need to let these spells settle a bit, though, until I can see if I need to do more of them." She smiled with a hint of shadow behind her eyes. "Injuries are easier than illness to cure, often, though broken bones still take some time."

If only she had a spell to take away lycanthropy, Salazar thought wistfully, then shook himself firmly. He had more now than he'd ever dared to dream of before. He should be satisfied. "You do an exccellent job. I wass never much of a healer, though I became ssomething of one out of necesssity. I sstill don't think I wass properly healed ssince I wass bitten, until I came here."

"It's small wonder you couldn't trust us at first." She brushed a falling lock of hair back from his face again. "It worked more easily this time, by the way, even though the injuries were worse. But I still think that if you can, you should try to eat the day before next time."

He made a face, though his head tilted slightly into her hand. "Then all I want to eat is raw meat, and even I don't find that appetizing."

Helga grimaced, more in annoyance than disgust, and stroked his cheek lightly. "...That would be a problem. Perhaps we can find some way around it, though."

His eyes were half-closed, his head still tilted against her hand. "Hmm? Oh, yess, that. I don't know; I'm not ssure I'd be able to keep anything elsse down anyway. I'm too antssy then. It'ss like danccing on coalss."

"The caduceus did seem to help with that, though, at least a bit. Perhaps if nothing else will work, a thin broth? You managed water well enough."

"The caduceuss wass wonderful," Salazar said feelingly. "But it makess me ssleep, and I can't eat in my ssleep. Broth would probably be all right."

"We'll try the broth then. And you were quite tired by the time I tried that spell anyway, I think; had you slept the night before, either?"

Salazar blushed a bit. "...Ssome. It jusst getss harder and harder to ssleep the more full the moon iss. I only ssleep the whole night when the moon iss new."

"That must be annoying. Or at any rate very tiring. Perhaps the caduceus could help with it, at least for a while...."

"You get ussed to it after long enough. I'm not ssure what I'd do with that much ssleep any more."

"Well... as you like."

Salazar realized abruptly he was sounding very ungrateful. "I'm ssorry. I'll be happy to try anything you ssuggesst. I jusst don't want you to think you have to do anything."

"I wouldn't mind, and I didn't mean to push. I was just trying to think of a way to help."

Salazar was silent for a moment, then said quietly, "It'ss nicce having ssomeone to pussh."

"Well. I'll still try not to be too annoying about it."

He smiled up at her, only then realizing that he was still leaning his head against her hand. He still didn't seem in a terrible hurry to move it. "You haven't been annoying in all the time I've known you, Helga."

She chuckled. "Well, thank you. I assure you I can be, unfortunately, but even so."

"I doubt it. Godric I can believe that of, but not you."

"Ah, he remembered we're here," Godric murmured in a highly amused voice to Rowena. "I feel all warm inside, don't you?"

"Oh, very," Rowena agreed.

"I didn't forget," Salazar protested.

"Didn't you?" Rowena asked with a grin.

"No. You two," Salazar pronounced in tones of a great revelation, "are very, very sstrange."

"We know. You can go back to flirting with Helga now," Godric suggested with a grin.

Helga turned very pink. Salazar's face took on a lovely shade of fuschia and he sputtered, "I'm not -- I wouldn't -- I'm married, Godric!"

"Oh." Godric blinked. "You hadn't mentioned. Never mind, then."

Helga finally did sit back slightly. "I didn't mean to give the impression --"

"You didn't do anything," Salazar assured her, glaring at Godric. "I'd have mentioned it if I wanted to dissscussssss it." He was nearly shifting into Parseltongue for the last words.

Godric lifted his hand slightly and let it fall. "Never mind, then. My apologies to you both."

Salazar looked away as a moment of awkward silence descended. Finally he said in a very quiet but fast voice, "Her name wass Gwen, we'd been married for three monthss when sshe died and I wass bitten, and you're never to mention it again." He set his jaw, looked back at Helga, and said resolutely, "Sso you think Caducceuss would help me ssleep?"

Helga swallowed and had to try twice before her voice worked. "I don't know," she said quietly. "It did once."

"It'ss worth a try," Salazar murmured. "I wonder if it would work if I casst it on mysself. I don't want to make you do it all the time."

"I did say I'd teach it to you. I should have made time to begin by now."

"I didn't know if it wass possible to casst it on onesself even if I knew it. Or if it will fade as ssoon as I fall assleep and make me wake up again."

"I've never tried casting it on myself. It should be possible, and I think it would have to be botched very badly to cause harm, but beyond that I don't know how extensive the effects would be."

"Then it can't hurt to try," Salazar shrugged. He cast a quick glance at Rowena and Godric, who were being far too quiet, for them, then raised an eyebrow at Helga. "And now we're sstarting to ssound like them, disscussing nothing but ssspellss."

Helga shrugged slightly in her turn. "That has its merits, as a topic."

Salazar sighed. "I'm ssorry for managing to ruin the disscussion."

"You didn't."

"Ssomething did, and timing pointss to me." Salazar leaned his head back against his pillows. "Perhapss I sshould get ssome ssleep."

"Perhaps you should." She tapped the pillows with her wand, and they shifted gently beneath him again. "Rest well."

He didn't mention that it was too close to a full moon for him to really rest well. They might stay then. And after years of wishing someone -- anyone -- would want to be around him after a full moon, Salazar suddenly found he was far too crowded.

"Good night."

"...Good night."

Helga hesitated in the doorway, then turned back and raised her wand, and cast the healer's illusion spell on him before she walked away.

Salazar let out a slow, contented breath as the staffed serpents appeared in his mind and started hissing comfortingly. His last coherent thought before he fell asleep was that he definitely needed to learn this spell.

But when he slept, he dreamed of Gwen, and Helga, and a giant wolf stalking them both.

*****