Experimentation

"Aargh!"

"Shh! Potter!"

"Malfoy?"

"I said shut up, Potter!"

"Hey! Stop shaking me! Let me go!"

Sarcastic. "Or what? You'll tell Weasel and Granger? It's not like I'm doing anything, pulling you into this alley."

"..."

"Why'd you pull me in here anyway?"

Sigh.

"Er, Malfoy? You all right? You're turning a little pink..."

"Look. I want to Experiment. I've been thinking about it for a month now, and I can't get it out of my mind."

"You mean... a Potions experiment?" Snort. "I'm sure Snape will let you do one. Now let me go."

"Not that kind of experiment, you scarred freak! Experiment with a capital 'E'!"

"Er... like the start of a sentence?"

"..."

"Did I say something wrong?"

"You. Are. The. Most. Naïve. Male. On. The. Planet. NO!"

"No, I didn't say anything wrong or no, it's not like the start of a sentence?"

"Merlin help me. You're doing this on purpose, aren't you, Potter?"

"Well, it's not like you should expect anything else."

"Experiment. As in..."

"I know, Malfoy. Didn't I just admit that I was doing it on purpose? Now who's the stupid one?"

"When this is over, I'll hex you."

"Yeah right. Fine. I'm leaving."

"No! Potter!"

"What?"

"Look... can we just... Experiment?"

Squeaky. "You? Me?" Suspicious. "Why?"

"Because. If we Experiment, neither of us is likely to tell, right? And even if one of us was warped enough to claim that the other tried to take advantage of them... blackmail, you know, no one will believe us!"

"..."

"Strangely, that makes sense."

"You in?"

"Er..."

"Forget it." Swish.

"Mmph!"

"..."

"Mmm..."

Splutter. "Potter! What the hell are you doing?"

Defensive. "Well, everyone says that kissing a boy should be different from kissing a girl, so I thought maybe we had to make it that way..."

"Yeah, but you were mashing your lips back and forth like some... something!"

"Don't blame me. You obviously have never kissed anyone before."

"..."

"I seem to have hit a weak spot."

"Shut up, Potter. I have girls lining up to snog with me. I am a female's dream."

Muttered. "Nightmare, more like."

"I AM! I mean..." Flustered. "I'm not a nightmare; I'm a female's dream."

"Whatever."

Pause. "Okay. Let's forget that and try again."

"No! Hey! Mmph!"

"..."

"Hmm."

"Mmm."

"MR. MALFOY! What are you... MR. POTTER?"

"Huh?"

"Oh, er, hi Professor McGonagall. Professor Snape."

"Ugh. Oh, shit."

"Shut up, Potter. You're making it seem like we actually wanted this."

"You did."

"I did not! I am one-hundred percent heterosexual!"

Icily. "What were you two doing? Potter! It was you who started it, wasn't it?"

"Now, Severus..."

"Quiet, Minerva."

"It was Experimenting! I swear!"

"I see, Mr. Malfoy. Well, may I remind you that--"

"Er, Professor McGonagall, there are people watching from the other end of the alley."

Irritably. "Yes, I know, Potter. They've been there the entire time. In fact, you two were making an indecent scene."

"..."

Simultaneously. "Shit."

***

[Potions, next day]

Bored. "Get with your partners. The instructions are on the board."

"Great... now I have to see Malfoy." Walk.

"Why, hello, Potter."

Nervous. "Eh, Potter, Malfoy."

"Yes, sir?"

"Perhaps... Potter should go with ah, Miss Granger today, and Miss Parkinson can be with Mr. Malfoy."

Smirk. "See you, love."

Smirk. "Astronomy Tower at midnight, Drakkie darling."

"Gnuh..."

"..."

"Did Snape just faint?"

"Why, I do think he did."