The Adventures of Lord Voldemort Part Deux: European Vacation

The Adventures of Lord Voldemort: Part Deux

The Riddle Manor

Thursday

Dear Diary,

Bella is convinced that the Death Eaters need another vacation. I am putting my foot down! I give those Death Eaters fantastic work benefits. Not many companies, let alone evil empires, give their employees dental coverage and medical coverage. HELLO! I took those ungrateful brutes skiing! I paid for a damn cotton candy machine(to be fair, Bella did throw up on it). That skiing minibreak was horrendous, and I have no wish to relive it.

Love,

Tommikins    

The Riddle Manor

Friday

Dear Diary,

Maybe Bella is right. Maybe I do need a vacation. Maiming muggles and mudbloods is hard work. Especially when they squirm. Severus wants to go to Africa, again. Last time we went to Africa, well, it was terrible. Poor Rabastan. He thought that Nigel Thornberry would be there, and when he wasn’t, well-it was crushing. No-need to relive that, thank-you very much.

Love,

Tommikins

The Riddle Manor

Saturday

Dear Diary,

Europe, I guess is the land of opportunities. Bella’s itching to see Amsterdam and Crabbe really wants to see Notre Dame Cathedral(apparently some of his relatives once lived there). So, right now I am packing. Rabastan is planning the whole trip. I thought a project would be good for him. It’s always good for me. Like the time Harry Potter defeated me I took up knitting. I am really good at making scarfs. Goyle said that my scarfs rival Mrs. Weasley’s sweaters. Very nice complement. Anyway, Rabastan really needs to get his mind off of Nigel.

Love,

Tommikins

Middle of Nowhere

Out in Some Sea

Monday

Dear Diary,

Why did Lucius say that I could only pack 8 silk Kimonos? Because he is jealous. He just owns nasty, tatty robes. I don’t know who put Rabastan in charge of planning the trip. I’m blaming Bella. She’s too busy going to that free clinic on West Yorkshireton Parkway. Why wasn’t she died yet? Well, anyway, because of Rabastan and Bella, the Death Eaters and I are now floating to Amsterdam....in a RV. Damn Nigel and Eliza Thornberry!

Love,

Tommikins

Amsterdam

Prison Cell AGRF21

Tuesday

Dear Diary,

I hate Amsterdam. Bella said that I’d enjoy it. Well she’ll enjoy anything. She’s itching her leg again. Rabastan has relapsed. He thought some man was Nigel Thornberry. He was actually a prostitute. Now we are all in jail. Let me tell you, Amsterdam prisons aren’t very luxurious. Or clean. The prison cell was a lot less clean after Bella threw up on Narcissa. It’s a wonder that those two aren’t dead. I believe them to be responsible for the spread of several STD’s. Lucius has disappeared. I think Fire Whiskey is to blame.

Love,

Tommikins

Amsterdam

Thursday

Dear Diary,

Our last night in Amsterdam. I’ll miss it, the gang and I have had some great memories. I think Bella got another STD. Rabastan still hasn’t recovered. Maybe I should tell Severus to stop teasing him. Lucius is finally back. He stumbled into the RV around two this morning wearing a pair of cut off shorts and dragon-hide chaps singing to ABBA. Wonder what he’s been up to? Narcissa is really mad.

Love,

Tommikins