From the Eyes of the Werewolf

A Chance to Tell the Truth

As February progressed, Remus could sense the growing excitement from the Gryffindor students due to the Quidditch match fast approaching. The Firebolt Harry had been given over the Christmas holidays had been returned to him and he was sure to be unbeatable on such a magnificent broom. Everyone was talking about Gryffindor's chance to actually win the Quidditch Cup this year...if only Harry could avoid any more dementors.

That thought wasn't just on Remus' mind, but it seemed many of the staff took an interest in Harry's ability to defend himself against the dementors. In fact, Dumbledore himself came to Remus office the day before the match to talk with him about that very matter. The Headmaster usually doesn't visit a teacher in his classroom, so it was understandable that Remus was surprised to see him there. After a few pleasantries, Dumbledore got right down to business.

"I know you have been instructing Harry on the Patronus charm. I was curious to know how he was faring."

"He's doing surprisingly well, considering how young he is."

Dumbledore nodded and gave a small smile. "Yes, he has a certain knack for accomplishing things that should be beyond his ability. How very much like his father he is."

It was hard to talk about James to anyone, but it was especially difficult with Dumbledore. James had been very close to the Headmaster, working beside him as a part of the Order of the Phoenix. Remus knew that Dumbledore had taken the Potters' death very hard.

It had been Dumbledore who had come to Remus on November the first and told him what had happened at the Potters' house the previous evening. That Halloween had been a full moon and therefore, Remus had been locked up in his private room at his parents' home. He had no idea when he awoke the next day of the tragedy that had befallen his friends.

"No, it can't be true!" Remus' face went white.

"I find it hard to believe myself. But it is in fact the truth."

"And you say that Sirius...Sirius did...but..." He felt his knees going weak, unable to support his body. The very idea that Sirius could have done such a thing was unimaginable.

"He was caught and taken to Azkaban."

There wasn't anything more to say. Unable to stand one moment longer, Remus sat down, buried his face in his hands, and began to weep.

Bringing Remus back from his thoughts, Dumbledore asked, "How strong is Harry's Patronus?"

"Well, it's getting stronger...but right now it has an undetermined form. If Harry could just manage to complete the form I think he would stand a real chance against a dementor."

"And how are you handling working so closely with Harry?"

Puzzled by the question, Remus replied, "I don't know what you mean?"

"Having been so close to James, it must be difficult to work with Harry and not tell him everything you know about his father...everything you know about Sirius."

"I swear! I didn't know!"

The Judge still didn't believe him. He tried as hard as he could, but no one seemed to believe that he had known nothing about Sirius' involvement with Voldemort.

"If you refuse to give us the information we need, we will be forced to use Veritaserum."

"Your Honor," Dumbledore said from behind Remus, "May I remind you that the use of Veritaserum is strictly controlled by Ministry Regulations. Further, to my knowledge, Veritaserum has never been tested on a werewolf. We have no idea how it will effect Mr. Lupin."

The Judge narrowed his eyes coldly at Dumbledore. " The Ministry regulations regarding the use of Veritaserum pertain only to its use on humans. I see no violation of these regulations by using it on a werewolf. If he continues to refuse to cooperate, he gives us little choice. Now, Mr. Lupin, tell us what you know about Sirius Black and his relationship to You-know-who!"

Tears welling up in his eyes, "I already told you. There isn't anything to tell. I didn't know he was..."

"SILENCE! Bring me the Veritaserum!" A vial of clear liquid was brought before Remus. The judge, showing no sign of compassion instructed the guard to have Remus drink it.

Dumbledore's voice was icily calm: "You realize you may kill him?"

"If truth is so alien to this dark creature, he deserves little better than to die."

"I won't drink it! I'm telling you the truth! I didn't know Sirius was working..."Remus gasped.

He was grabbed on both sides and forced down into a chair. The men holding him down were quite muscular, but Remus had the strength of the wolf. He struggled against them until a third man approached and held Remus' face still. Slowly, he poured the liquid into Remus' mouth.

A vile taste filled his senses as the Truth Potion slid down his throat, burning its way down as it went. He nearly gagged on the stuff, but the guards were holding his mouth shut until he swallowed completely. A sudden light-headedness took over and Remus stopped struggling, staring out into thin air, waiting for the questions to begin again.

"What is your name?"

"Remus Lupin."

"How do you know Sirius Black?"

"He is a friend of mine from Hogwarts."

"What do you know about his relationship with You- know-who?"

Remus hesitated. Tears burned in his eyes. "Sirius turned Lily and James Potter over to Voldemort."

"How do you know this?"

"I...I never would have believed it. Professor Dumbledore told me what happened."

"WHAT ELSE! How long has he been working for You-know-who?"

"I don't know."

"Do you consider Sirius Black to be a close friend of yours?"

Remus thought back on the years in which Sirius had been his friend. Rash and bold, reckless and utterly loyal. "Yes."

"How can you not know that your friend has been working for You-know-who?"

Remus had asked that question of himself endlessly since Dumbledore had told him what Sirius had done.

"Sirius is good at keeping secrets," Remus finally offered.

"Really? And what kind of secrets does Mr. Black have exactly?"

Remus felt himself trembling as the Veritaserum seemed to burn through his very veins. Our greatest secret. We swore we'd never reveal...what matter now? Who is left to betray?

"What secrets, Mr. Lupin?" The voice seemed to come from a great distance.

"Sirius is a... dog." Remus' tongue was thick, and he was having trouble seeing.

"Any man who betrays his friends the way Black has deserves to be called worse, but you are correct...he's a lying, murderous, deceptive dog!"

The judge asked more questions about where Remus was the night of the murders and who could verify his alibi. Questions about Remus' knowledge of suspected Death Eaters and whether he himself was one. Endless questions....

Remus finally heard what he thought must be Dumbledore's voice from very far away. "You will get nothing further from him tonight."

The Judge eyed Remus with disgust, but finally dismissed him. Dumbledore's hand on his arm guided him from the courtroom and Remus knew no more

"Remus?"

Bringing his mind back to the present, Remus focused on Dumbledore's curious face. "I'm sorry, what did you just say?"

"I wanted to know how you were dealing with Harry and my request that you not talk to him too much about James...and Sirius."

Remus sighed. "Well, that part is a trial." Then, without reason, Remus added, "You know, he relives the night James and Lily died every time he gets close to a Dementor."

Dumbledore grew very still and quiet, his mouth hanging open ever so slightly. Very carefully he said, "Oh dear. I knew it had to be something like that."

"At first he just heard Lily, but later he heard James and then even Voldemort." There was a long pause before Remus continued. "I always wondered what really happened that night. It seems James told Lily to take Harry and run. James tried to hold Voldemort off so Lily could get away. But...it didn't work..." Keeping his eyes down cast, Remus said quietly, "I should have been there."

Dumbledore placed a hand on Remus' shoulder. "Remus, there was nothing you could have done. As I told you all those years ago, this was not your fault."

"I don't know about that. "

The statement shocked Dumbledore.

"If I had been more attentive, maybe I would have noticed a change in Sirius' behavior. I should have caught on that he was up to something. I should have been able to see that he wasn't..."

"Now Remus..." Dumbledore interrupted. "No one...not even James, who knew Sirius better than anyone, saw a change in him. It's no wonder that you have been having thoughts like these now with Sirius breaking into the castle, but Remus," Dumbledore looked over the top of his glasses at him, "I trust you." The words almost stung Remus. "I also know that you are doing everything in your power to protect Harry from any danger. Despite what you think about the past, Remus, you are where you need to be now. "

Dumbledore patted Remus' shoulder and turned to go. "I will require all staff to be in attendance at Gryffindor's next Quidditch match just in case the dementors decide to make another appearance. I'll see you there."

Remus sat down at one of the student's desks and rested his head in his hands. Dumbledore was right, if anyone knew Sirius, it was James. And if anyone was going to see a change in him it would have been James. Yet James trusted his life and his family's life to Sirius. You've got to stop beating yourself up over this! You've got to move on!

Tomorrow Remus would attend his first Quidditch match since James and Lily died. Tomorrow he would watch Harry fly and hopefully all would go well. Tomorrow would prove to be a good day; he just knew it.

***

On the day of the match, the teachers were divided and seated throughout the crowd. Dumbledore had asked them to be sure all positions of the pitch could be reached in good time. However, this didn't mean that Remus had to sit squished up among the student body. Quite the contrary, for he took a place on the Gryffindor side in what usually served as the Professor's box. Dumbledore himself was seated in the box as well.

Remus couldn't help but feel his stomach tighten from the familiar excitement of waiting for a match to begin. The teams walked out onto the pitch and the captains shook hands before mounting their brooms and kicking off to start the game.

Every eye was on Harry, but it was difficult for anyone to keep a steady focus on him due to the speed of the Firebolt, but Remus smiled at how wonderful it felt to watch a Potter on a broom again. It had been too long he noted to himself. He also made note that Lee Jordan, who was commentating, was actually giving more of an advertisement for the Firebolt than he was commenting on the actual game. McGonagall had to scold him several times just to keep him focused on the game.

In the next second Harry was diving for the Snitch. Remus, and everyone else in the stands, leaned forward hoping to see Harry catch it and make this the shortest game of Quidditch in the history of Hogwarts. But it wasn't to be. A Bludger came pelting towards him and he veered off course.

Gryffindor took an early lead but Ravenclaw was quickly catching up with them. With each goal that was scored, by either team, Dumbledore would give a cheer of delight. He obviously was trying to be fair to both houses as the headmaster should. Remus, knowing he should be fair as well, tried to show support for Ravenclaw, but it was no use. He wanted Gryffindor to win!

Cho Chang, the Ravenclaw seeker, began marking Harry as he sped around the game looking for the snitch. She even managed to block him from getting at it once. It was obvious to Remus that Cho knew she didn't stand much of a chance next to Harry's Firebolt, so she was doing everything she could to stop him from catching the Snitch.

Harry, on the other hand, decided that to play along with her little game by diving as if he had seen the Snitch. Cho followed but didn't have the maneuverability that Harry did. As he pulled out of his dive, a tiny gold flicker could be seen down at the Ravenclaw end of the pitch. Harry darted after it, but a distraction down on the ground caught everyone's eye.

Dementors.

Three tall, black, hooded dementors were standing right in the middle of the field looking up at Harry. Remus stood up in his seat, taking out his wand instinctively. Dumbledore did the same. Remus kicked himself mentally for not paying more attention to the ground. He should have spotted them coming onto the field. But it was too late to think about that right now. He needed to concentrate on keeping Harry on his broom and safely away from the dementors.

Eyes fixed on Harry, Remus watched as Harry pulled out his own wand and shouted, "Expecto Patronum!"

What Remus saw next made his heart skip a beat. Harry's Patronus was very real and quite distinctly formed. There was no mistaking that shape or what it represented. But just to be sure he wasn't seeing things, Remus blinked and refocused on the Patronus, now charging down the dementors as Harry headed off to catch the Snitch.

"My word," said an astonished Dumbledore next to Remus. "I thought you said his Patronus didn't have much of a form."

Remus licked his dry lips. "It didn't...until now."

Smiling, Dumbledore said, "Well, I'd say he has managed to conjure a perfect stag. How unusual. I wonder why he chose that particular form?"

Prongs...Harry's guardian would naturally be his father. Remus could feel his forehead starting to bead up with perspiration.

"Are you feeling ill, Remus?" the Headmaster questioned, looking at him with concern.

"No, I'm just...nervous for Harry."

Dumbledore leaned over, cocked an eyebrow at Remus, and smiled mischievously. He knows I'm lying! He knows I'm not telling him everything! I should just tell him and get this over with!

Then, quite casually Dumbledore turned and said, "Ah! It appears that the Patronus wasn't really needed in this case." He pointed down at the ground where the dementors were. Remus glanced back at the pitch and saw that the dementors were actually students in disguise.

With great excitement and energy, the whole crowd gathered around Harry and the Gryffindor team down on the pitch. Remus made his way to the ground as well, stopping to see just who it was under the false Dementor's hood. It was Draco Malfoy and his friends from Slytherin.

A short distance away, Remus could hear the congratulatory remarks still being showered on Harry. All of them pertained to the game, but Remus knew Harry had accomplished something far greater than catching the Snitch. He took a moment to walk over and quietly say in Harry's ear, "That was quite some Patronus."

Harry turned around, his face beaming with joy. "The dementors didn't affect me at all! I didn't feel a thing!"

Remus didn't want to spoil Harry's euphoria, but he had to tell him the truth. "That's because they - er - weren't dementors. Come and see - "

Remus led a confused Harry over to where Draco and the others were crumpled up in a heap on the ground. Professor McGonagall was standing over them giving them the sort of scolding no student ever wanted to receive.

"You gave Mr. Malfoy quite a fright," Remus said, desperate to laugh but somehow managing to hold back.

Ron Weasley soon made his way over to see what was going on. He doubled up in a total fit of laughter upon seeing the Slytherins in such a state. They were stuck in the robes, unable to pull themselves out.

Harry was slowly pulled away and off towards the Gryffindor Common room where there was sure to be a full out party. Remus sighed and looked back down at the tangled mess that was Draco Malfoy, Marcus Flint, Crabbe, and Goyle.

"Professor Lupin!" Sounded Professor McGonagall. "Since these boys seem to know so much about the Dark Arts, perhaps you could think of a worthy detention for them?"

Remus looked from worried face to worried face. "Oh, I think I might be able to come up with something."