Ramblings of a Slytherin

"Or perhaps in Slytherin

You'll make your real friends,

Those cunning folk use any means

To achieve their ends."

---All mention of Slytherins by the Sorting Hat in 1991, Our Main Character's First Year (the first and only year he bothered to pay attention to the Sorting Hat)

~Begin Transcriptus~ Here pens the thoughts and words of Draco Malfoy, heir to the Malfoy family fortune, the Malfoy Manor, the Malfoy Estate, the Chateau de Malfoi, the Delacroix beneficiary, betrothed of one Annietta Delacroix, member of the proud and noteworthy Slytherin House, descendant of a proud pureblood family, on the eighteenth of November, of the year nineteen-hundred and ninety-six. ~End Transcriptus~

Testing, testing. Is this Recording Quill working? Oh, good. It is.

Since I plan on burning this piece of parchment as soon as I finish recording my current thoughts, I might as well record everything. Beginning with the unfortunate misconception that Pansy and I are "going out". I have no idea who started that ridiculous rumor, but when I find out, I assure you that my father shall be informed. Anyone who brushes up regularly on their wizarding genealogy will realize that Pansy and I are second cousins, which is far too close of a relationship to be fostering any romantic tendencies, even if the world these days is running short of proper purebloods. (And trust me, I don't count my father or any of his slimy friends as a proper pureblood ... they aren't even decent human beings, much less decent wizards, much less decent purebloods.) As it is, even if Pansy and I were to develop some sort of "boyfriend-girlfriends relationship", as the Gryffindors would call it, it wouldn't matter in the long end.

Anyone who is properly informed of current wizarding pureblood events (they don't even have to receive Death Eater Weekly or the Pureblood Chronicler) knows that I am betrothed. I have been betrothed, since birth, to Annietta Delacroix. The betrothal was probably planned before I was born, as soon as my mother's last name changed from Black to Malfoy. After all, her fourth-cousin relationship with Annietta's mother and my father's seventh-cousin relationship with Annietta's father ensured that any child of Narcissa and Lucius Malfoy would marry into their family soon, and receive the lot of their fortune. As it is, they had only the one daughter, and I am to marry her.

I don't sound very enthusiastic about the entire thing because I HAVEN'T EVEN BLOODY SEEN HER YET! I mean, I'm more than willing to do my pureblooded duty and give up my freredom to choose my future spouse (if I was less than willing, my father would be sure to gut me and hang me out the window like dirty laundry), but it would be nice if I got to see at least a portrait of her. I don't even know how old she is. For all I know, she could be five, or maybe even twenty-five. Bloody h*ll, for all I know, she could be seventy-five. So yes, I'm not very enthusiastic.

All right, where was I before I was so rudely interrupted? What do you mean, I couldn't have been interrupted since I was speaking to myself the entire time? Honestly ... Oh my God, now I'm beginning to sound like that Mudblood Granger.

All right, Draco. Clear your mind. Let's talk about House Slytherin. What is there to say about it? I hate Crabbe, I hate Goyle, I even hate Zabini. I hate Bulstrode, I hate Pansy, I even hate Baddock (who is three Years below me and THUS SHOULD NOT MEDDLE IN THE AFFAIRS OF ADULTS). And then, with Father owling Professor Snape every day about my current ranks in the Intra-House Slytherin politics ... Needless to say, my current life is more stressful than it needs to be. I am of the personal belief that life would be pleasanter if I did not have to owl Father the results of every piece of homework I've handed in, and every one of my tests, just so he can evaluate how well I'm doing in school. All he sends back is criticism. Even when I manage to pull off something brilliant, like convincing that fool Umbridge I supported her (and I obeyed every order he gave me, following his instructions to the letter!) like he told me to, he still criticized me for doing it too early, and putting my plans into action too late, and when the whole bloody thing fell apart, he blamed it on me.

I understand fully and completely that he just likes to vent at me, but do I honestly care what happens to Aunt Bellatrix? I mean, she's creepy, and by creepy, I mean incredibly creepy. Even Uncle Rodolphus is scared of her.

But just because I hate my father and don't think highly of his friends doesn't mean I'm not devoted to the Cause. Of course I'm devoted to the Cause. Why wouldn't I be? Once all Mudbloods, Muggles, and Muggle-lovers die, the world can once again become pure, never mind the fact that the population of the world will have shrunk to perhaps 100. Never mind the fact that 98% of the world is Muggle, or Mudblood, and that of the 2% left, perhaps .01% believes in blood purity. Either way, I will always be devoted to the Dark Lord because, as everyone knows, he kicks *ss. I mean, he is so cool! He's part-snake or something and he's got those wicked-looking red eyeballs. I wish I had red pupils. Then I could scare away all Weasleys, Potters, and Mudbloods, (as well as a couple of my clingier ex-girlfriends) and live the rest of my life in peace. My main goal in life is to acquire that bloody brilliant tattoo ... I mean, what can be cooler than a skull-and-crossbones type thing with a snake (the best animal in the world!)?

Anyways, the future is in the future. I am here to talk about the present. What about the present should I talk about? How about ... Potter. Yes, very good subject to ramble about.

I hate Potter. I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate him beyond all belief. You don't know how much I hate him. Not only do I hate him, I loathe him and despise him. Why? Er... I'm not entirely sure. Partly because Father told me to. Partly because Professor Snape does (he is so cool!). Mostly becuase he insulted me in front of commoner, preferred that self-same common Weasley to me, is Dumbledore's little pet, and snatched the House trophy away from us at the last minute, the little-

I will not conjure up another effigy of Potter only to burn it. I will not conjure up another effigy of Potter only to burn it. I will not conjure up another effigy of Potter only to burn it.

I'm calm. Really. I'm very calm. I'm quite proud of myself, actually. I can now restrain my urges to kill Potter. I honestly don't know why everyone likes the Boy-Who-Lived so much. There's nothing special about him. Sure, You-Know-Who didn't kill him, but that was because of his mother's wards and love. So why is he so famous? Everyone says he's noble.

But he's just as human as the rest of us, if not more so. He has been pampered and coddled his entire life at Hogwarts, if nowhere else. The Headmaster didn't say a couple of comforting words to him at the beginning of Fifth Year, and he got into a snit about it. Well, Mr. High-and-Mighty, welcome to the life of the rest of us. The Headmaster doesn't award our Houses points just because he likes us. We have to earn them. We don't go around sneaking for trouble in an Invisibility Cloak, and then complain when we get lost. We don't throw mud on other people's thousand-Galleon robes. We don't laugh when another student is unpleasantly Transfigured and breaks every bone in his body because of some crack teacher. We don't claim justification that "He insulted my mother!" when we start a fight, and then turn around and insult everyone else's mothers. (a/n: Seamus and Draco) We don't have people mollycoddling us at every turn, and we don't hate the teachers that don't.

Welcome, O almighty Potter, to the life of a normal kid. Who hasn't heard Potter whining about being rich and famous, having girls ready to jump his bones, about not having a Mommy and Daddy. At least he doesn't have to suffer the Unforgivables at the slightest mistake like some pureblooded children I know. (It's times like these that I pity Pansy, which is not good, as pity implies compassion, and Malfoys don't have compassion.)

But it doesn't matter. After all, Potter will always be Potter. He will always be babied. It doesn't matter anymore. Once I join the Dark Lord, I can have the power he could have if he had any brains. And I will be smart enough to use it.

"There is no good and evil, only power and those smart enough to wield it."

Incendio.