- Rating:
- PG-13
- House:
- Astronomy Tower
- Characters:
- Draco Malfoy Harry Potter Hermione Granger
- Genres:
- Humor Romance
- Era:
- Multiple Eras
- Spoilers:
- Philosopher's Stone Chamber of Secrets Prizoner of Azkaban Goblet of Fire
- Stats:
-
Published: 05/25/2004Updated: 02/06/2005Words: 17,480Chapters: 6Hits: 3,587
Blessed Release: The Pardon
Agent Death
- Story Summary:
- After a near-death experience for Hermione, Draco, Harry, Hermione and Lucy are chosen by Dumbledore for an unusual quest. Talking cats, bagels and a not-so unsuspicious "Oracle."
Blessed Release 04
- Chapter Summary:
- After a near-death experience for Hermione, Draco, Harry, Hermione and Lucy are chosen by Dumbledore for an unusual quest. Talking cats, bagels and a not-so unsuspicious "Oracle." This Chapter: SCHNOOKIE!!
- Posted:
- 09/02/2004
- Hits:
- 622
- Author's Note:
- I have given up trying to make this fic normal. There you go.
Blessed Release: The Pardon
Chapter Four: Prosecutors will be Trespassed
Stuck between the do or die
I feel emaciated
Hard to breathe I'll try and try
I'll get asphyxiated
Swinging from the tallest height
With nothing left to hold on to
Every sky is blue
But not for me and you
Come home
- Placebo
Hermione yawned and woke up, blinking rapidly in the predawn light. She was waking up earlier and earlier, accustoming to Forest Time, as she liked to call it, which meant she had to get up and conjure up breakfast for the four in the group, including herself.
But this morning was different. Usually her neck was aching, having been propped up on sticks as a makeshift pillow. Today, however, it was pillowed on something soft.
Turning around to get a better look, Hermione kicked her leg out, and managed to hit something, no, strike that, someone in what appeared to be a shin.
Appalled as they let out a groan of pain, Hermione struggled up, turning and expecting Harry to be lying is spasms of pain. (Hermione had managed to kick him in a very vulnerable piece of shin.)
But it wasn't Harry. It was Draco.
~
Opening her curtains wide, Cassandra inhaled the deep scent of the forest. Birds sang in the sunlight, and the normally ethereal and disturbing cemetery standing desolately in the back yard was quiet and peaceful.
At least, it was peaceful until something passed the barrier and a deep mist twined itself about the headstones of the cemetery.
Cassandra frowned darkly and the clouds overhead began to match her ominous scowl. Suddenly a more solid, realistic form loomed up out of the shadows and jumped onto the windowsill.
Her face didn't brighten, although she opened the window for the four-legged creature that sat outside.
It was a cat, a grey and white tabby with brilliant blue eyes.
"Schnookie," said Cassandra, "Did you set off the alarm?"
"No," answered the cat. "Humans did. There are people coming. And they've got wands."
~
After the embarrassing fiasco that Hermione had been the only witness to (fortunately for her) the group ate breakfast more or less together (or rather divided, as Hermione and Harry sat on one side of their camp and Draco and Lucy sat on the other) and set off. No one talked, because it wasted time and was awkward.
After an hour of uncomfortable silence they stopped for brunch, which Draco insisted upon having every day. Hermione found it miraculous that Draco didn't seem to gain an ounce of weight, although there was the possibility he was bulimic.
During one of the groups regular "bonding sessions" Hermione bought the topic up. Not directly, mind you, but by making everyone say one of his or her problems. Harry had nothing to say (anger issues) Lucy didn't have exactly fifteen shampoo bottles at home (obsessive compulsive) and Draco admitted that once he had eaten a whole birthday cake by himself. Although this wasn't necessarily too bad, after being provoked with a snort from Lucy he did confess that it had been covered with pepper. (Eating disorder.)
"It was a dare, okay? I was sitting at this table with all these little freaks who I never even talk to any more were saying: 'Eat it, eat it!' so I ate it, and it tasted horrible, but after I'd put on all the pepper none of those other little brats wanted to have any so I had to eat all of it because what's the point in wasting food?" he looked around despairingly, expecting to see nods of sympathy.
Instead Hermione asked: "So you have a problem with food then?"
Draco shook his head violently. "No way. I see what you people are getting at, and I'm not bulimic!"
"It's okay to admit it," said Hermione, with surprising softness in her tone that Harry turned away from in disgust.
"Fine," said Draco, "Just to get you to shut up I'll say it, even though I'm not. I became...bulimic." there was a hush that Lucy broke after a few seconds by saying in a hurried whisper:
"You can read minds?"
Hermione gave an unladylike snort. "Yeah, and being psychic means you throw up after every meal!"
"Yeah," answered Lucy, "Why are you saying it like it's not true?"
"Because it isn't!" cried Harry, who suddenly surged to his feet and scowled down at them all. "Now, I say we get going or else I'm either going to throw up or kill her!" he pointed an accusing finger at Lucy, who smiled innocently.
Harry stormed off into the forest, causing Draco to comment: "What's his problem?" Hermione didn't answer, although she was saying to herself: "Anger issues."
She got up and wandered after Harry, leaving Draco's question hanging unanswered in the air.
~
Hermione found Harry a few metres into the forest, standing amongst a particularly thick area of trees. Harry seemed to be fuming. His eyebrows were knitted closely over his eyes, and his forehead was creased in anger. His hands were balled into fists, and Hermione knew that if she said the wrong thing he'd go over the edge. He was close enough to doing this already.
"Uh, Harry?" Hermione asked hesitantly. "Are you okay?"
"What do you think?" he turned around, and Hermione backed away slightly. Hermione had seen Harry get very angry before, many times in fact, and from the look on his face it seemed that this would be one of those times.
But then he breathed in slowly, and exhaled. Hermione could tell that he was trying to calm himself down. For her.
"Why don't we go for a walk?" Harry offered. "Take some time off. Come one, we won't go far."
Hermione nodded and followed after Harry in silence. They didn't talk for some time, but when Hermione tried asking something it just hung in the air unanswered. Harry seemed deep in thought, though over what Hermione couldn't fathom.
It occurred to her that they'd gone much farther than she meant to, but didn't dare say anything. But after a few minutes, Hermione was getting edgy.
"Um, Harry..."she trailed off, then tried again. "Harry, do you think maybe we should go back?"
Harry shook his head. "Just a few more minutes, okay?" he said. Hermione nodded, than without warning Harry leaned in and kissed her.
Hermione let him. It might have bothered her earlier that they were making out in a creepy old forest and that Draco and Lucy were somewhere nearby, but right now she didn't care. Screw Draco and Lucy, and the forest! It didn't really matter who was watching.
Then she was aware that nearby there was a rustling noise. She looked up just in time to see Draco emerging from the forest, dusting down his shirt. He looked up and saw Harry and Hermione.
"Well that's enough to make a person want to throw up his dinner," remarked Draco dryly.
Harry broke away from Hermione and stared at Draco angrily, about to say something most likely without thinking, but Draco's attention was no longer focused on them. He was staring at the ground a few metres away.
Harry and Hermione looked too.
There, sitting regally at the foot of a tree, its tail wrapped neatly around its legs, was a cat. A cat that suddenly rose and said: "I think you'd better come with me," and then set off into the forest. The trio followed the cat, all arguments and insults suddenly gone from their heads.
And for once in her life, nobody cared where Lucy was.
~
Sally was standing in the cemetery when three shapes loomed up out of the darkness, lead by the familiar shadow of Schnookie.
The cat winked to her, and Sally waved. Two of the three people who were following Schnookie stared at her, but the other paid no attention. Sally twinkled her fingers at the two gapers, and then continued digging up the grave she stood in front of.
Schnookie paused in front of the temple, then called out to Sally. "Where would I find Milly at this time?"
Sally suppressed a giggle at his formal words. He was just putting them on for fun, to daunt the poor little wizards.
"Oh, Milly will be found cleaning the third floor sitting room at this point, but I would suggest knocking before entering. You know how she is."
Sally and Schnookie shared a knowing nod before the cat replied: "Thank you, fair lady," and set off into the temple, ignoring the large hand painted signs that proclaimed: Prosecutors will be Trespassed
The signs were for fun, too. Frankly Cassandra didn't care who or what came into her sanctuary, although they did have to identify themselves with Sally, Milly or Schnookie before properly entering the premises. The fact that the signs were round the wrong way just made people assume that the caretakers of the temple would be crazy. How far from the truth that assumption would be! (Actually it wasn't that far from the truth.)
After Schnookie and the 'guests' had vanished, she abandoned her shovel and raced to find Milly. Telling Schnookie that she would be in the third floor sitting room actually meant that she would be in the second floor atrium.
The temple had three floors, each of which was more lavishly decorated that the last, although the shrine room took up most of the first floor and was the most important room in the place.
Unless you were used to the temple you could easily get lost. But fortunately Sally knew the temple like the front of her hand, and could easily find Milly's current cleaning post.
Sally scaled the wall of the temple, and rapped loudly on the second floor atrium's window before it was opened from the inside.
Milly helped Sally in, then asked in one big rush: "Who was that at the door I heard Schnookie come in but there were other people with him weren't there who's here tell me now or I'm going to scream!"
She panted for a few seconds before regaining her composure, and then stared eagerly at Sally for the news.
"Well," Sally said, "It's a secret, but listen carefully and I'll tell you..."
~
Draco stared around the temple, completely and utterly bored out of his wits. He'd figured out some time ago what this place actually was, and now he even knew who owned it. The servant Sally had made things perfectly and blindingly clear, and the mention of Milly had just added to the proof he had. He was now sure where he was.
Schnookie had led them into the shrine room, then through an inconspicuous vestibule into a large waiting room. Its purposes were made obvious when Schnookie said in an authoritive voice: "Wait here."
Draco knew he would be in for at least ten minutes of excruciating silence, as he had been in many of these rooms before. Designed to keep people quiet and behaved. And they worked a charm, too.
After a few seconds the type of jingly music you always hear in public toilets came on, whether playing magically in the room or in their heads couldn't be decided, though. Draco knew he would be having nightmares about the tune for weeks after this.
Presently the door opened, and a woman entered. "Draco!" she cried.
Under his breath Draco muttered, "Fuck me," but then said louder: "Aunt Cassandra!"
He ran forwards and embraced the woman, who looked only a few years older than her nephew, and then followed her slowly as she walked down and stood before Harry and Hermione.
"Draco, darling," his aunt said, "Aren't you going to introduce me to your friends?"
"They're not my friends," he muttered, too quiet to hear, but then said: "Of course Auntie, this is Harry Pooter, oops I mean Potter, and Hermione Granger."
Cassandra gave them both a warm smile and wrapped her arms around the two in a crushing group hug, of which Draco was glad he was not included in.
"Welcome, welcome," Cassandra said. "Any friend of Draco's is welcome in my home."
Hermione threw a barely perceptible glance towards Draco. How come he'd never told them that his aunt, of all people, was living...in the heart of the Forbidden Forest...Things suddenly clicked together in Hermione's head. The bizarre and largely decorated shrine room, the cemetery, the fact that the whole 'house' was actually a temple...
Cassandra may have been Draco's aunt, but she was also the 'Oracle.'
It seemed they had found their destination.
~
*Random Interlude with Lucy in it*
Lucy sat bolt upright. Draco, Harry and Hermione had been gone for way too long. They'd now deserted her for at least ten minutes.
Lucy started to her feet, paused, and then looked around, trying to remember which way Draco had gone. When no positive answer presented itself to Lucy, she shrugged and lay back down, falling instantly asleep.
She might not have slept so soundly if she'd known that something sinister was afoot...or she might have. I don't really know her sleeping patterns.
~
Cassandra showed Draco, Harry and Hermione to separate rooms, telling them to sleep in as late as they wanted and if they had any problems to contact Milly, Sally or Schnookie. Of course it didn't occur to her to tell them exactly where they'd find any of these servants, but then again Cassandra was a rather forgetful person.
She also told them that if they looked in the wardrobes in each room they'd find something fit to sleep in, and if not then they could ask Draco if he could rustle something up.
"He must know this place like the back of his teeth!" she exclaimed to each of them, and then she slammed the door shut and locked it.
Each in their own rooms, Hermione jumped, Harry flinched and Draco flopped down on his familiar bed, used to Cassandra's unusual ways. After a time he wandered over to the wardrobe, pulled it open and stared at the racks of black clothing held there. They were all his clothes, as when Draco was younger he'd stayed with his aunt a lot.
It was then, though, that Draco remembered that Cassandra had decided that since Draco was her one and only nephew she would fill every single closet and hot water cupboard in the house with Draco's clothes. (Except her own, of course.)
Oh, crap. Draco straightened wearily and went to one of the doors that led out of the room, and into another bedroom. Either Harry's or Hermione's, he couldn't remember. He rapped loudly three times, waited for a muffled voice to call: "Come in!" and then entered.
It took him a moment for his eyes to adjust to the bright light of the room, and then he saw that it was Hermione's.
"Oh, it's you," she said, rather coldly. She stood in the middle of the room, dressed in a baggy black shirt and boxers.
"People are wearing my clothes now?" Draco said. "Take them off."
Hermione stared. "What are talking about?" she asked. Then she looked down. "These are yours?" she enquired. "Well, certainly you don't expect me to change while you're in the room?"
"Damn straight I do!" Draco cried. "You might be used to walking all over Potter, but you're not stealing my clothes!"
Hermione rolled her eyes. "Leave the room and come back in a few minutes, then I'll give them back."
Draco eyed her suspiciously. "Don't forget the boxers," he said.
"Can I borrow your underwear for ten minutes?" she asked sarcastically.
Draco shuddered slightly and left.
(Next Day)
After unknown servants prepared breakfast and Cassandra's guests had gorged themselves, they wandered around the temple. Although Draco was loath to spend any time with Harry or Hermione after the fiasco of last night, he knew that if any of the servants saw them walking around without any supervision they would report back to Cassandra and she would get distrustful. And Draco didn't want to alienate himself from the one relative who still thought he was wonderful.
So after listening to the Perfect Little Couple's meaningless twitters, Draco stopped when he caught sight of Milly, one of Cassandra's brainless servants, and halted her in her work, digging a random hole in one of his aunts' numberless gardens.
"Where's Becky?" he asked. Becky, or Rebecca, had been one of Draco's favourite servants. She was actually less of a hired hand than any of the others. Draco had enjoyed numerous summers talking to Becky, who never judged him. In fact, Becky had been his favourite person in the whole world. (After Bella.)
Milly shook her head. "Maybe you shouldn't be asking where Becky is, but where Lucy is, hmmm?"
"Uh, why would I do that?" asked Draco.
"Lucy is supposed to be with you!" cried Milly. She looked behind Draco to Harry and Hermione. "And where is Ron? Shouldn't you have pestered that stuffy old principal till you'd forced him to let that stupid little rat to come? What kind of a friend are you? And for that matter, what kind of a "quest" is this? This is simply a stupid attempt to gain interest! You all suck." Milly raised her fist and shook it at the sky. "Damn you Balthazar!" she cried.
Draco backed slowly away. He'd forgotten that Milly was still bitter that he'd called her a PE reject when they were both five.
He continued on until he found Sally, but she just giggled helplessly. Finally she managed to choke out: "I know why you want to see Becky! I saw you two making out in that dark corner two years ago!"
"That never happened," said Draco, and he continued on.
Finally he came to Schnookie, who was always a reliable source, since he was a wizard cursed to live in a cat's body and to always tell the truth.
"Schnookie, where's Becky?" he asked.
Schnookie was silent for a few seconds, and then said: "She left, last winter. Haven't seen her since. But she said she'd be back by Midsummer, and it's almost then now." Schnookie frowned. Draco shook his head and brooded.
Hermione bit her lip. She could tell that Draco was unhappy, and was worried that he'd go off on his own and leave Harry and herself stranded. She had to think up something, anything, to talk to him about.
"So, Malfoy, does your aunt have any children?"
Draco looked up, confused. "Uh, no," he answered. Suddenly his face brightened. "But she was married once. Her ex-husband has twenty-one people in his family and their names all begin with 'J.'"
Hermione stared in disbelief at him. Draco continued. "But that's impossible. They'd have to make up a name like...Jeremy...wait, that is a name..."
Harry shook his head and whispered in Hermione's ear: "Let's blow this pop stand."
Hermione sighed. "I'd really like to," she murmured. "But I don't think we should. I mean; Malfoy is the only reason we're welcome here."
Harry nodded forlornly. "Well, let's move on, at least," he said, and the started slowly forwards, waiting for Draco to catch on and follow them.
He did so, but he was lost in his own thoughts, and left the Dynamic Duo to choose where they would go. Harry and Hermione found it a relief when a large gong was sounded and they were called to dinner.
They were all shown to seats at a huge wooden table situated in the second floor dining room, where they each were silent, Harry and Hermione too frightened to disturb the hush that had descended upon their host, her nephew and her unusual servants.
Halfway through the meal a hand brushed against Hermione's knee, just a light touch that made shivers run up and down her spine. Thinking it to be Harry, she looked up, ready to smile at him, when she remembered that he was at the other end of the table, slowly edging away from Milly as she looked at him suspiciously.
Startled, Hermione looked at the people to each side of her; Sally and Schnookie (who was seated upon a stool with a golden pillow) and then at the person in front of her; Draco Malfoy.
He didn't seem to notice that he was causing her discomfort, and continued silently eating his dinner (which was, as promised, rare steak.) Hermione looked down at her plate, trying to tune into the conversation (or lack thereof) around her to distract from Draco's hand, still touching her knee.
Abruptly Cassandra called out: "Draco, what about you? What are you planning on doing this summer?"
Draco was startled, and looked up then blurted out: "sum es est, sumus estis sunt."
Silence descended once more, and everyone stared at Draco. Hermione just wished that he'd take his hand off his leg, since he now had an excuse to either shift uncomfortably in his chair or suddenly jerk upright.
This silence, though, was broken after a few minutes by the dining room door being thrown open. All heads swivelled round to face the new comer, and were all startled when Draco gasped.
"Becky? Is that you?" he asked, and then everyone received another fright when Milly fainted. It seemed that Becky had returned.
Quotes
-
"I became...bulimic." "You can read minds?" - Zoolander
2) Presently the door opened, and a woman entered. "Draco!" she cried.
Under his breath Draco muttered, "Fuck me," but then said louder: "Aunt Cassandra!" - Cruel Intentions
-
"He must know this place like the back of his teeth!" - Tunnels of Blood - Vampire Blood
-
"Can I borrow your underwear for ten minutes?" - Sixteen Candles
-
Personal Joke: The part where Draco admits to having eaten a birthday cake covered in pepper actually happened at my birthday...Sally got pepper in her eye and still holds it against Lucy.
-
"They'd have to make up a name like...Jeremy...wait, that is a name..." - Helen Gunn
-
"Let's blow this pop stand." - The Simpsons
-
"Becky? Is that you?" - Hannah Cobb
Author notes: See above author note.