Mistletoe and Candlelight

Mistletoe and Candlelight

"Where are you going, Sirius?"

"I'm on a mission, Moony. A secret mission."

"A secret mission?" Remus peered accusingly over his hardcopy of Tess of the D'Urbervilles, eyebrows raised.

"A very secret mission, Moony dearest. So secret that not even my closest, my most delightfully divine and cheekiest cherry can know about it." Sirius gave Remus a winning grin.

"I don't appreciate being named after fruit, Sirius," Remus said sternly, putting his book on the table next to him. "Furthermore, it is my duty as prefect and generally compassionate human being to put a stop to your secret mission. I'm sure it would be beneficial, not only to the school, but to the entire world if I were to bar you from ever leaving the common room. Especially since it's almost Christmas."

"Your words sting, Moony." Sirius put a hand dramatically to his brow. "My very own Remus - a friend, a brother! - telling me that the world would benefit from my forced reclusion? Honestly Remus, could you live with yourself knowing that you're denying the world such a handsome, charming. and outrageously sexy boy such as myself? Could you? Answer me honestly."

Remus sighed. There was no winning with Sirius, only the gradual loss of sanity.

"Do what you want," Remus said indignantly, picking up his book once again. God help whomever Sirius was plotting against.

"Oh don't be that way, Moony," Sirius said in the achingly whiny voice he adopted whenever he wanted attention. "You know I can't live when my most marvellous of mates gets angry with me. How do you expect me to enjoy my evening now, with you in a puffy rage?"

Remus cocked an eyebrow. A puffy rage? Remus opened his mouth to retort that he wasn't in a puffy rage, merely exercising consideration for the well being of the student body when James marched into the common room, his chest puffed up in peacockian proportions.

"Sirius, ready to begin Mission: Underpants?" James asked, punching Sirius gently in the shoulder.

"Oh Jamesy, we can't go! Moony is being all pouty and I can't leave him in such a state. You know what a sensitive little boy he is."

Remus looked at James pointedly. "Don't tell me you're part of this secret mission too."

"Moony darling, I, unlike you, try to help friends in need. When Sirius came to me begging for help, how could I say no?"

"I was hardly begging, Prongs," Sirius said grumpily.

"Of course not, dearest. Of course not."

"Shut up, prat," Sirius said, punching James in the shoulder a little harder than necessary.

"Be quiet, both of you. Now, you either tell me what the mission is, or Lily just might find out who stole her black brassiere," Remus said, a satisfied smile blooming on his lips.

"You wouldn't," James said venomously.

"Oh, wouldn't I?"

"I see now," Sirius said with the air of one who finally discovered the meaning of life. "Remus is jealous. He wants to be part of our mission, Prongsie. That's why he's so huffy."

James nodded sagely, looking pensively at Remus. "I think he has the necessary skills to join us on our quest, don't you agree, Padfoot?"

"Yes, I believe he does, Prongsie."

"I never said I wanted to be part of -" Remus began, but it was too late. Sirius and James pulled him off the plush chair, put an arm over each of his shoulders and led him to the dormitories, where a most devious plan was hatched.

It was a good ten minutes of explaining, cajoling, threatening, and finally tantruming until Remus finally agreed to accompany them on their Secret Mission.

"I'm only coming to make sure no one gets hurt," Remus explained for the thousandth time. "I know better than to try and stop you two from pulling pranks. If only you were as dedicated to schoolwork..."

"Oh, hush up, Moony. You always take the fun out of everything. Now put this headband on," Sirius said, passing Remus a black headband. Remus took the headband and watched James and Sirius in disbelief as the two marauders tied the headbands around their foreheads. Remus looked critically at his limp piece of cloth.

"What on earth..." Remus began, still eyeing Sirius and James like they were mad.

"We're ninjas. Don't ask, just do," Sirius said, his voice hushed.

"You're unbelievable, Sirius. Unbelievable." Remus put the headband on, and stood facing James and Sirius, his face a mask of disbelief. "I look like a right wanker, Sirius."

"I think you look brilliant," Sirius said brightly, his cheeks flushed with anticipation. Remus blushed and looked away.

"Now," James said profoundly, "Mission Underpants is underway. To the dungeons! Hyah!"

With that, the three Marauders went soaring out of the common room. Well, two Marauders went soaring pulling a third, less anxious Marauder behind them. As they ran down the many flights of steps - the tails of their headbands whipping behind them - they tried to move as quietly as three sixteen-year-old boys could. Which, as you might have guessed, wasn't very silent at all. They made it to the dungeons without incident, and Remus was pleased to report that no innocent first years were trampled during the exodus of the Marauders.

James, Sirius and Remus stopped just outside of the Potions classroom, faces bright red and panting heavily. From outside, they could hear the faint scrawling of quill on parchment. Their quarry was near.

"James, invisibility cloak," Sirius whispered. Remus was about to ask why, instead of running, they couldn't have just used the invisibility cloak in the first place, but thought better of it. James pulled out his invisibility cloak and whipped it around the three Marauders. Once they were satisfied that they were fully concealed, James, Sirius and Remus crept into the classroom. Sitting behind the main desk was Severus Snape, perched over a large pile of parchment, his greasy hair hanging in front of his face like a veil.

"Filthy bugger," James hissed, "doing extra work like a good little potions boy -"

James was cut off as Sirius jabbed him roughly in the ribs. The group of three - moving quietly and carefully so as to not expose themselves from under the invisibility cloak - approached the desk.

"Remember, Sirius," James whispered into his ear, warm breath tickling soft skin, "just a simple accio underpants and we're off."

"I know, Prongs, I know," Sirius said, pulling his wand from his waistband. Just as Sirius was about to cast the spell though, Snape stood up suddenly, hair and cloak whipping behind him. Grabbing the stack of parchment, Snape extinguished the candles in the room with one fluid movement, swept past the Marauders and closed the classroom door behind him. From the other side of the door, James, Sirius, and Remus heard Snape utter a sealing charm followed by the echo of footsteps trailing down the corridor.

It was only as the footsteps died away that the Marauders realised the gravity of the situation.

"Jamesy?" Sirius said quietly, his voice high and breaking.

"Mmm?"

"Unlock the door. Please tell me you can unlock it. Please."

The three Marauders shuffled over to the door, the invisibility cloak tucked safely under James' arm. Sirius grabbed a hold of the door handle and pulled. The door didn't budge. Remus grabbed onto the handle as well, but still the door didn't move. Sirius pulled out his wand, pointed at the door, and with his eyes tightly shut said alohomora. The lock didn't turn, the door remained still.

"Shitbuggeryfuckshit," James said, yanking at the door as hard as he could. Sirius already seemed resigned to his fate and sat heavily on one of the classroom's stools. Remus stood staring at the door in disbelief, as if it were scolding him for going with Sirius and James on such a stupid prank.

Five minutes later, James was still pulling at the door and cursing under his breath. Remus sat on a chair staring blankly at the door, psychically trying to persuade it that it really did want to open. The door sent a plain message in response: I will not open. Well, more like: I don't have psychic powers, you dork - I'm a flipping door. But we won't talk about that. Sirius, on the other hand, began looking around the room curiously, never having been able to wander freely in the potions classroom before.

"It's no use," James said bitterly, sitting heavily on the chair next to Remus. "We're stuck here until morning." James made a half groaning noise, half growling noise. "Sirius, if you weren't such a miserable prat we wouldn't be -"

"Aha!" Sirius called out from the backroom - the storage room. "It's here... this night won't be so boring after all!"

James exchanged confused glances with Remus, staring intently at the open storage room door, the faint light of Sirius' lumos spell flooding out. Sirius walked triumphantly out of the storage room, a pile of scrap parchment in one hand, a vial in the other.

"Boys, we've gotten very lucky tonight. Think, if Snape had locked us in the Transfiguration classroom, or the Charms classroom... but no, we were locked in the Potions classroom."

"Well, what do you have?" James asked enthusiastically, all thoughts of the door and being locked in the dungeons far from his mind. Remus looked sternly at Sirius. Whatever he had, it definitely wasn't prefect approved.

Sirius lifted the vial. "This, boys, is fluxweed."

James and Remus stared blankly at Sirius. "Fluxweed is just a stupid herb," James said.

"You can only pick it during the full moon. Its most common use is in Polyjuice potions," Remus recited.

"Yes, yes. That's the boring use though. Fluxweed is also a very good way to pass time when smoked by, say, three sixteen-year-old boys locked in a Potions classroom."

"Whoa," James said slowly, the vial of fluxweed suddenly seeming much more interesting then it was before. "You mean, this is a... a..."

"Hallucinogen," Sirius said grinning. "Don't worry, Remus darling, it's very mild. Nothing bad will happen to us. Shall we have a go, gents?"

Sirius popped off the top of the vial and ripped up the paper into squares before Remus could begin lecturing. Surprisingly, Remus said nothing the entire time Sirius was preparing the cigarette. It was only when Sirius lit the cigarette with his wand that Remus finally said something.

"This... as a prefect, I think this is a very stupid thing to be doing. We're smoking drugs in a classroom where a teacher visits regularly. We would be expelled in an instant if we we're caught doing this. As a friend, I also think it's a stupid thing to do. Think of all the side-effects and you could become dependant and -"

But Sirius, being Sirius, had already taken the first drag, inhaling deeply and smiling stupidly as he breathed it out.

"C'mon Remus, the Professor isn't going to check his classroom in the middle of the night. Have a go, why don't you?" James said, taking the fluxweed from Sirius and taking a puff himself.

"Here, if you're so worried, we'll all crawl under the invisibility cloak, okay?" Sirius said, his tone light and his face jovial. Remus looked at Sirius sternly. "Or, y'know, not. C'mon Remus, one little puff didn't hurt anyone. We have nothing else to do. Come on, Moony."

"Please?" James said, his tone mellowing and his face brightening as he took another puff. "For me, Moony dearest?"

"Fine!" Remus said angrily. He took the fluxweed from James and looked at it critically. "This doesn't seem very healthy..."

"Of course it isn't, Moony. What, you want to smoke yoghurt instead? Just try it."

Remus nodded and put his lips on the paper. His lips were dry, and the paper was dry; it was a very strange feeling. He breathed deeply and the tip turned bright red as smoke filled his mouth. Inhaling, Remus felt the smoke burn its way down his throat into his lungs. Immediately, a floating sensation overcame him. Was the light on Sirius' wand always that bright and colourful? Remus took another tentative puff, and once again, the smoke burned dramatically in his throat. Suddenly, being locked in a classroom all night with Sirius and James wasn't all that awful. In fact, it seemed kind of fun. Seriously though, was his lumos always that vibrant?

"Jamesy, I think he likes it," Sirius said grinning.

"I believe he does, Padfoot," James said calmly, his eyes mellow and his posture relaxed.

Remus handed the cigarette to Sirius, who took another puff and handed it to James. Remus loosened his tie and looked lazily at Sirius. Beautiful, funny Sirius. Sirius always had such nice skin. It was so smooth, sort of like silk, or if milk were skin. Yeah, Sirius had skin like milk. If milk was tanned and skin. And he had such nice hair. It wasn't greasy and ick like Snape's. Snape's was ick hair. Not Sirius. Sirius' hair was black and beautiful. And his eyes were so deep and they were black. Who had black eyes? Sirius had black eyes, though. They might seem kind of cold to some people, but to Remus, they were beautiful eyes. Sirius was so beautiful and nice, and Remus wanted to tell him. It was kind of funny, actually.

"Sirius, you have skin like tanned milk," Remus said, smiling.

"Hey, he does..." James said, looking at Sirius, his forehead furrowed in analysis.

"Thank you, Moony. I think I have beautiful skin too."

Sirius was always so arrogant, but Remus supposed that's why he liked Sirius so much. Sirius made up for Remus' lack of self-confidence. Remus was so happy to have friends like Sirius and James and Peter...

"Remus, you have a cute nose. And a cute ear," Sirius said, looking pensively at Remus. James nodded in agreement.

"What about my other ear?" Remus asked, touching his ears self-consciously.

"Yeah, that one is cute too." Sirius said, James still nodding.

"Thanks Sirius. I want to hug you, but you're really far away," Remus said calmly. Sirius did seem really far away.

"No, no, you're far away, Remus. Here, we'll meet halfway, okay?"

"Okay."

Remus leaned forward and Sirius leaned forward, their arms outstretched. They caught each other around the shoulders before falling to the ground, laughing. James looked sagely at them, nodding his head as if he had predicted their fall long before. Sirius and Remus rolled onto their backs, staring at the ceiling.

"Wow, the ceiling is really dark," Sirius said in awe. "I bet you could get lost up there."

"Do you even think that's a roof?" James asked, looking at the roof as well. "It could just be, like, an opening into space..."

"Wow..." Sirius said, his arms outstretched and reaching to the ceiling. "I bet it is! I can't reach the ceiling, so it must lead out into space..."

"Guys," Remus said, taking, once again, the role of the voice of reason, "how can it be space if there are no stars?"

"You're right..." James said slowly, flopping down on his back.

"Maybe it's a cloudy night," Sirius said, as if it were obvious. Remus wanted to respond, but it did make sense. What if it was cloudy? They wouldn't be able to see the stars if it was cloudy. Sirius was right, they were looking straight into the cloudy air.

"Think it's going to start raining?" James asked a bit worried. "We'll get all wet if it starts raining."

"Remember that time it started raining in charms?" Sirius asks, his breath smoky and delicious. "And it was all cloudy. I bet that's what's happening now."

Suddenly, Sirius grabbed tightly onto Remus' arm.

"Ow - what'd you do that for?" Remus asked sharply, turning to look at Sirius. Sirius looks back his eyes wide with deluded fear.

"Remus, what if we all float away into space? What's keeping us here? If the clouds are all dark and floating up there, what if we become dark and floaty? Huh? We're going to fly into space and then I won't be able to pull another great prank and -"

"And I'll never be able to date Lily," James said glumly, his knuckles white as he gripped the desk beside him.

"No, no, guys, it's okay. We won't fly off into space because we have gravity right here with us all the time," Remus said, smiling and nodding.

"Where? Can I have some? I don't want to float away."

"And I like Lily, can I have some?"

"We all have some right now."

"Really? Then why is James holding onto that desk so hard? James, you stupid twat, we have gravity, don't you know that? - Ow! What was that for? - Ow! Fuck off!"

"See, I want to date Lily. I want more gravity. Do you have any spare gravity Remus? Mate? C'mon, we all know you don't like anyone, so I can have all your spare gravity, right? Because I want to date Lily, and you don't want to date anyone."

"And I want to date someone too, Remus," Sirius said, looking at his friend seriously. "Can I have some gravity too?"

"No, sod off! I like someone, you know," Remus said bravely. "I need all the gravity I can get." Remus was quiet for a few seconds, thinking about what he had just said. "What am I saying? We all have enough gravity. We're not going anywhere."

"Promise?" Sirius asked, his question laced with concern.

"Yes, I promise Sirius."

"Thanks Remus. You're the best."

"Yeah. Without you, we wouldn't have any gravity," James said seriously.

A few seconds of silence hung over the marauders before they began laughing. They laughed for a long time, until their lungs were empty and their cheeks covered in tears. They laughed hard, and honestly. Remus felt great, things just seemed perfect as they were. Something about this felt remarkably right.

"Guys, guys," James said between chuckles, "Look up there." James pointed to the corner of the room, to a column embellished with a gargoyle and some fancy scrollwork. "Doesn't it look like mistletoe?"

"Yeah!" Sirius said, grinning. "Just like mistletoe!"

Remus didn't see how, but he didn't say anything. It did. Kinda. Remus began laughing again. It was pretty funny.

"Remember when James and Lily kissed under the mistletoe?" Sirius said, beginning to laugh again. "And Lily spat after it happened?" Sirius and Remus burst out laughing, James merely looked puzzled.

"Sirius, that was when she kissed you," James said finally, his confusion wiped away.

"Bugger..." Sirius said, the kiss coming into sharp focus. "Bloody fuck, you're right, Jamesy. I bet it's cause' she liked it so much, that Lily Evers."

"Lily Evans," James corrected him automatically.

"Evers, Evans, Evely, it doesn't matter, she'll be married to you one day, Prongsie. Lily Potter." Sirius said the word marriage like it was an infectious disease and something you should stay far far away from.

"But where are my manners?" Sirius asked, his eyes sparkling and bright. "We have mistletoe, and it's nearly Christmas!" Sirius sat up and, walking on hands and knees, threw himself on James, pinning him to the ground. Sirius' eyes were blazing with goodwill, James was chuckling, and Remus was laughing heartily. "Happy Christmas, Jamesy!" Sirius, straddling James' stomach, bent down and met James' lips with his own. The kiss was wet and sloppy, but both James and Sirius came away from it chuckling and smiling.

"Lily has nothing on me!" Sirius said, standing up (and wobbling slightly) in triumph, pumping his fist in the air. James swatted at Sirius' leg but missed. Remus was still basking in euphoria - half cause by the drugs, and half out of just pure enjoyment.

"Moony, Happy Christmas!" Sirius walked sloppily over to Moony, where he sat heavily on the ground in front of Remus. Remus sat up and looked into Sirius' starry eyes. "C'mere, Remus." Sirius pulled Remus close and gave him a cheerful - albeit sloppy - kiss, their lips meeting violently. The kiss was interrupted as both boys began to laugh at the sheer absurdity of the situation. Something in Remus, something deep down, liked it though. Liked the feeling of Sirius' lips and the way his hair felt against his cheeks. Something deep down in Remus liked Sirius' hands touching his shoulders roughly and pulling him in for a kiss.

"Ah, come here Remus," James said enthusiastically, his eyes starred with the same glow of firelight, snowy trees, and Christmas cheer. James trotted slowly and cautiously to where Remus was sitting on the cold floor. James fell happily beside Remus before leaning in happy and recklessly giving Remus a deliciously short peck on the lips. Sirius grinned as Remus and James exchanged kisses.

"Happy Christmas!" Sirius yelled out, putting an arm over Remus' and James' shoulders, giving each a short kiss on the cheek. "Aren't you happy we're stuck here, with clouds and gravity and mistletoe?"

Remus nodded lazily, and James just chuckled.

"Mistletoe! I forgot! Happy Christmas, you two!" Sirius called out happily.

"You forgot? You just gave us both kisses and said Happy Christmas, how did you forget?" Remus asked, puzzled.

"Oh yeah," Sirius said slowly, his finger on his lips. "You're right, Moony. Well, anyway, Happy Christmas! Gimme a kiss, James, Remus."

James began laughing again, and Remus grinned. Both leaned in to gives Sirius a peck on the lips, but found that noses were in the way.

"How are we going to do this?" James asked between chuckles, tilting his head.

"Here," Sirius said, pulling James' face closer, holding him gently under the chin. "Now, Remus, you come here." And with that, the three Marauders leaned in, their eyes closed, and kissed, three pairs of lips meeting for a few instants before separating in silence. As they separated though, they were no longer laughing. Something serious had transpired during that kiss. It wasn't awkward, just strange.

"That was kind of... nice," Sirius finally said, his eyes shining with new experience, new love.

"Mmm," James said, his eyes still closed.

"It was... interesting," Remus said finally, beginning to return to his wits.

"Want to, er, again?" Sirius said, still grinning.

Without responding, James and Remus leaned in, and with remarkable coordination, met Sirius' lips with their own, their arms encircling each other tightly. As Remus pulled away, James planted another sloppy kiss on Sirius' lips before moving away.

"Still nice?" Sirius asked cautiously.

"Yeah..." James said, his expression a mixture of amazement and confusion. Remus merely nodded.

Sirius grinned. "Want to do it again?"