Remedial History

Chapter Three: Zabini's Little Display of Cheek

To Theo's surprise, Neville Longbottom approached him after class on Monday. "Listen, I'm sorry I was rude to you last week. I had some personal stuff going on that wasn't your fault, you know?"

"No problem," said Theo.

"Er, would you like to study together sometime? I'm not sure I understand all this business about the Goblin Rebellion of 1608, and sometimes it helps if I can go over it with another person."

"Same here," said Theo. "Sure, I'd like to."

"Tomorrow evening, maybe, in the library?"

Theo's heart sank. Tomorrow evening would be his second P.Y.L. meeting, and he was very sure it wasn't time to invite Longbottom yet. He wondered what Draco would do to him. "Sorry, tomorrow's no good. I've got, er, remedial Transfiguration."

"Bad luck," said Longbottom sympathetically. "Wednesday, then?"

"Sure," said Theo.

As it turned out, only half of the new recruits brought guests to the next meeting, and Blaise was the only one who brought a student from another House. Malcolm and Queenie each showed up with one of the other Slytherins from their year. Lisa reported that she'd had no luck with the other girls in her dormitory, and Millicent merely scowled when Draco asked her how things had gone with the Hufflepuffs.

"Welcome," said Draco to Blaise's guest, a Ravenclaw named Dionysius Moon, and the two younger Slytherins. "And you will do better next time, won't you, Nott and Bulstrode?" He said nothing to Lisa, but Theo thought he was looking at her with grave suspicion.

Theo nodded, feeling uncomfortable.

The torches dimmed and the same soft voice retold the story of the first war, a story Theo had heard only in broken fragments from his older relatives. His father occasionally mumbled something about how he wouldn't have to spend his life selling dead rats "if things had gone the other way," while Medea sometimes seemed to forget that most of the heroes were dead or imprisoned, and spoke of Evan Rosier and Simon Wilkes as though she hoped they might drop in for tea.

The tale they saw and heard that night was grand and epic and tragic, though there were a few lighter moments. Most of the Pureblood Youth League laughed and cheered at the sight of a young Mad-Eye Moody losing a large chunk of his nose.

The story ended with an image of the smoldering ruins of the house in Godric's Hollow where their enemy, Harry Potter, was born. "Here our dream ended," intoned the voice, "but neither death nor Azkaban can destroy the dream that is to come. One day the sons and daughters of our fallen warriors shall rebuild what we have lost."

That was another element his family's war stories left out. Even after the Dark Lord returned, the Notts never spoke of hope.

The torches burst into flame again and the students applauded. "That's real history," said Draco Malfoy approvingly, "not the business about goblins Binnsy's always going on about. And one of the other things we're going to do in this group is really study the Dark Arts instead of this defense rubbish - or should I say this Whee-Mail rubbish," he added in a poor attempt at an American accent.

Most of the audience chuckled, and even Blaise raised his head and looked alert at the mention of studying the Dark Arts. Theo just hoped it wouldn't be too much like regular school.

"Now that we've got enough members for a proper organization, we'd better start by electing some officers. First of all, we need a treasurer," said Draco. (Theo wondered why this was necessary; the Pureblood Youth League did not, as far as he knew, have any money.) "All in favor of Vincent Crabbe as treasurer, please raise your hands."

Nearly all the students raised their hands, including Theo, since there didn't seem to be any other nominees. Blaise did not.

"Is there another candidate for the position?" asked Draco, staring at Blaise.

Blaise gave Theo a light kick on the ankle, which Theo ignored. He couldn't imagine why he'd want to be treasurer of the P.Y.L., even if he hadn't already voted for Crabbe.

"Right, so that's fourteen votes for Crabbe and one abstention." Draco paused significantly, still not taking his eyes off Blaise. "For secretary, all in favor of Pansy Parkinson, please raise your hands."

Another near-unanimous vote with only Blaise abstaining. Tracey and the Greengrass girls applauded as the votes were counted and Pansy began taking minutes.

"And naturally," Draco continued, "since I founded this organization and my father and Aunt Bella can help us make contacts outside Hogwarts, I think I am the logical candidate for president. Are there any other nominations?"

"Yes," said Blaise. "I nominate myself."

A flush crept over Draco's pale cheeks. "And what exactly are your qualifications, Zabini?"

"Number one, I've read more about the Dark Arts than any of you. Number two, if I were in charge we would have spent this whole meeting actually studying them instead of playing at holding elections. Number three," (Blaise glanced at Theo) "I would appoint a treasurer who knows how to count."

Dionysius Moon laughed out loud. So did Tracey, although she fell silent when Pansy glared at her.

"Very well," said Draco, but he was obviously less than pleased. "All in favor of Zabini for president, please raise your hands."

Theo voted for Blaise, but the only other people who did were Moon and Blaise himself. Tracey half-raised her hand, looked around at Pansy and Daphne, and lowered it quickly.

"So that's three votes for Zabini," announced Draco, and Pansy made a show of writing the figure down. "Now, how many for me?"

The other twelve people in the room raised their hands.

"So that makes it pretty close to unanimous, once again," Draco said. "Thanks for the vote of confidence - most of you. We're all friends and fellow members of the Pureblood Youth League now, so I don't think any more needs to be said about Zabini's little display of cheek ... as long as it doesn't happen again."

* * *

On the following evening, Theo met Neville Longbottom in the library to work on their history homework. He found that he liked having a study partner who was on his own level. Blaise rarely needed to do more than glance at his school books, and even Tracey always seemed to have mastered a topic while Theo was still struggling with it.

They didn't get much studying done after the first hour, though, because they were busy talking. He and Neville turned out to have a lot in common. They both admired Stubby Boardman, and were secretly bored by Quidditch, and preferred toads to owls or cats. (Theo wanted to show off Buffy, but he couldn't find her in his book bag. He hoped she wasn't lost among the labyrinth of library shelves.) And Neville complained about the trouble he had recalling this week's set of passwords to the school's many wings.

"I could never remember passwords either," said Theo, "only then my sister had the idea of making me recite them back to her at the beginning of every week. It helps if you tell someone else, you see."

"Which House is your sister in?"

"She isn't. I mean, she was in Slytherin, but she's thirty-three."

Neville gave him a strange look. "And you talk to her during the school term?" he asked.

"Yeah, every few days. We use two-way mirrors."

Neville nodded. "Harry has one of those. He uses it to talk to his guardian. But listen, d'you really think you should be telling your sister passwords that only the students are supposed to know? I got in big trouble for losing a list of them once."

"I think it's all right," said Theo, "because Medea hardly ever goes out or talks to anyone outside the family. She's ..." He hesitated. "She's been ill a lot. She was in St. Mungo's for a while when I was very little, and then for a couple of years she didn't leave her room much, and my dad had to look after her. And even now, she gets funny around people. She can act normal for a while, but then she gets angry for no reason, and says things -" He broke off. Why was he telling Neville stuff he'd never told anyone except Blaise? His father had always made it clear that the family secrets were not to be repeated for any reason.

Neville opened his mouth as if he were about to say something, and then seemed to change his mind. "I'm sorry," he said at last. "That sounds really rough."

Theo shrugged. "It's all right," he said. It wasn't, but he'd said too much already.

He supposed he ought to invite Neville to the next Pureblood Youth League meeting now that they were getting along so well, but he didn't feel like broaching the subject just yet. He had six whole days. No hurry.

Neville glanced up at the clock. "It's almost eleven, we'd better be getting back to our common rooms." He stood up and looked around him. "Where's Trevor?"

"I don't know," said Theo. "I can't find Buffy either."

They spent a few minutes searching the library, and then Theo spotted the two toads hopping out from behind one of the bookshelves.

"Does yours look all right to you?" Neville asked. "Trevor looks like he's gone an unusually bright shade of green."

"So does Buffy," Theo said, examining his pet. "Oh well, I don't think she's ill or anything. She seems quite perky, actually."

* * *

As Theo was dressing on Sunday morning, Draco Malfoy poked his pale, pointed head out of the bathroom and demanded, a faint note of hysteria in his voice, "Why is there a SNAKE in this toilet?"

Blaise wandered lazily over to to the bathroom doorway and motioned for Theo to follow him. The toilet Draco was pointing to was filled with a rope of clear, slimy stuff with black spots embedded in it. Buffy was perched on the porcelain rim, looking proud.

"That's toad spawn, you chump," said Blaise, examining the toilet bowl. "Hey, Theo, you're going to be a grandfather."

Draco started breathing a little easier. "No, he's not! I'm not using a bathroom where the toilets are full of tadpoles." He placed his hand on the flush handle.

"DON'T FLUSH BUFFY'S BABIES!" shouted Theo. Almost before he knew what he was doing, he reached for his wand. "Petrificus Totalis!"

He stared in shock at Draco's stiffening body. He'd never done anything like that before.

"Looks better as a sculpture than a human being, doesn't he?" said Blaise, stepping back and examining the petrified Draco with the air of a connoisseur. "I bet the Tate Gallery would give us a good price for him. Opus Thirty-Seven, Chump Flushing Toilet."

By now, Crabbe and Goyle had dragged themselves out of bed and rushed to Draco's defense, but Theo and Blaise were both standing between Draco and the doorway with wands out. "No need to be jealous just because your commandant makes a prettier sculpture than you do, boys," said Blaise airily. "We can do additional petrifications on request."

Crabbe and Goyle did not volunteer to be petrified.

"Very well. But if anything happens to Buffy's eggs, Theo and I will interpret it as a request. Agreed?" Blaise turned to Draco. "Blink once for yes, twice for no."

Crabbe and Goyle nodded, and Draco blinked once.

"Finite incantem," said Blaise, unfreezing Draco. "Right, then, we're all friends and fellow members of the Pureblood Youth League, so I don't think any more needs to be said about this little incident - as long as it doesn't happen again. Let's get some breakfast."

Draco, Crabbe, and Goyle declined to join them. "Thanks," said Theo as they walked to the Great Hall.

Blaise grinned. "No problem. Congratulations on standing up for yourself for once." He looked thoughtful. "We make a pretty good team, don't you think? Perhaps you'd be wasted as a treasurer."

* * *

"Brilliant!" said Neville when Theo told him the news. "But it doesn't sound like they're very safe around Malfoy, and I don't think it would be healthy for the tadpoles to grow up in a toilet anyway. Maybe Hagrid would let them live in his rain barrel until they're grown."

"I don't want them to grow up at Professor Hagrid's," said Theo.

"Why not? He's really good about taking care of other people's animals, and he won't try to act like they're his own or anything. My friend Luna keeps her Crumple-Horned Snorkack there."

"I - I'm afraid of him," Theo confessed.

To his relief, Neville didn't laugh at him. "Yeah, he's pretty big, isn't he? But he's nice. Have you ever sat down and talked with him?"

Theo shook his head. The concept was entirely foreign to him.

"Come on, let's go pay him a visit now. Just try not to eat any of his cooking."

Professor Hagrid's cottage smelled of wood smoke and wet boarhound; Fang had just come in from the rain and given himself a hearty shake. Theo eyed him warily, but luckily Hagrid kept a firm grip on the dog as he and Neville hung up their cloaks.

"Welcome, Nott. Ever' sin' we did the lesson on the thestrals, I knew yeh'd be comin' here one o' these days. Ever'one comes sooner or later - ever'one that's troubled in their mind, or grievin', or no' sure which way ter turn. Studen's, an' some professors too ... there'd be no countin' the cups o' tea I've drunk with Remus Lupin at this table..."

"That wasn't why I came," said Theo, who didn't feel like explaining why he could see thestrals just then. "I - Neville and I were wondering - we're about to be grandfathers, see -"

That hadn't come out right. Hagrid threw his head back and laughed so loudly that the little cottage seemed to shake. It was a friendly laugh, Theo realized, as soon as he got over his first instinct to hide under the table.

Neville explained, more coherently, about the expected tadpoles, and Theo told the story of how Draco had tried to flush them and he had Petrified him.

"Sure, bring 'em over, the sooner the better. From what I've seen o' young Malfoy, I wouldn' trust him alone wi' them for too long - although it sounds like yeh settled him good an' proper. I woulda paid Galleons ter see that." Professor Hagrid took a wooden bucket down from a peg on the wall and handed it to Theo. "Yeh kin carry 'em in there."

By the time Theo returned and emptied the bucket of toad spawn into the rain barrel, Professor Hagrid and Neville had been joined by a girl with dirty blonde hair. Theo recognized her as the "batty Lovegood girl" Blaise had mentioned. They were all sitting around the table with mugs of hot tea.

The girl stared at Theo. "I know who you are," she remarked without bothering to greet him. "You're the Slytherin who makes Professor Snape feel guilty."

Theo stared right back at her. Professor Snape had never shown the slightest sign of guilt for anything he'd said to Theo.

"Not because of the way he treats you," she went on, "but I'm pretty sure you remind him of somebody he'd rather forget. I don't imagine he's right, though. It's a bit like distorted mirrors, really."

"Distorted mirrors?" Theo felt entirely lost.

"My father took me to a Muggle fun park once," she said. "They had this house of mirrors that were ripply in different places, and made everything they reflected go all long and thin, or short and fat, or bendy. It's all right as long as you can remember they're not showing you the real world. Otherwise it's easy to get lost."

"Is she ... she isn't mad?" Theo whispered to Neville.

His classmate shook his head. "She's got a funny way of seeing things. But if you listen carefully, she makes a lot of sense sometimes."

"Anyway," Luna Lovegood was saying, "I think Professor Snape is sort of lost in a house of mirrors, especially with the Slytherins. He looks at all of you and sees the reflections of people he used to know, and he forgets you're really just yourselves."

"D'yeh have any idea who these people he used to know migh' be?" Professor Hagrid spoke rather sharply, as if he had an idea himself and didn't like it.

She shook her head. "No, but I don't think it matters, really. Not if he isn't right about it."

"Yer right, o' course," said Hagrid, and then made what Theo suspected was a clumsy attempt to change the subject. "Sun's comin' out, yeh might want ter visit Arjie 'fore it starts rainin' again."

Luna introduced Theo to Arjeplog the Crumple-Horned Snorkack, which was unlike any beast he'd ever seen before. It had three humps, a great deal of shaggy white fur, and a massive spiked tail that kept knocking things over. Its head end seemed gentle enough, though, and it nuzzled Theo's fingers as it nibbled the bunch of asparagus spears Luna handed him.

As he and Neville said goodbye and wandered back to the castle, he felt that it had been a strange but unexpectedly pleasant way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

"Remember what I said, Nott," called Hagrid as they were walking away. "If yer ever in a bit o' trouble or lookin' to talk abou' what's on yer mind - yeh jus' come back here, all righ'?"