Unforgivable Promises

Unforgivable Promises

Chapter 23

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Harry caught Severus on his way to breakfast. The Potions Master had just left his rooms and he had to fight to keep his lips to himself. Being out in the hall where anyone could see provided the impetus Harry needed to resist the urge. When Severus caught sight of him, he was graced with a rare smile before the man asked, "Come to escort me to breakfast?"

Harry grinned. "Something like that. But I've got news, too. The Dark Lord tried to get to Nott last night. I wasn't sure how long it was going on before I realized it, so I didn't want to take the time coming here first. I would have come back after, but it was late, and I had the feeling Nott didn't want any more attention as it was."

"I would have been no aid at all; going there directly sounds best. How bad was it?" Severus asked as the two walked to the Great Hall.

"Not nearly as bad as that first time with you, but worse than anything since. I think it got that bad because I took so long to get to him."

"That's likely. He will not commit himself as fully as he did when he first tried to kill me. Not when he risks having it turned back on him. You explained that the Dark Lord will probably not try again without reason?"

"Yeah. I don't know if he trusted me or not, but I told him." They walked in silence for a few moments before Harry spoke again. "Did you talk to him at all about yourself? He asked me about when you decided to stop following the Dark Lord. I told him it wasn't my place to say, but I have a feeling he needs to talk to someone who understands. He said he didn't want to talk to you, but I suppose he was just saying that. Anyway, I figure you're probably the best person to help him out."

"I'll do what I can for him," Severus replied. "Though I am not entirely sure he trusts me. He certainly showed mixed reactions to me last night."

"He probably doesn't know who to trust at this point," Harry pointed out.

They were nearing the Great Hall and no longer alone, so the Potions Master simply grunted a response. Before they parted company, Severus stopped Harry and handed him half a quill, split down the center. He looked around to be sure no one was watching and showed Harry the matching half he kept in his robe. Harry nodded in understanding and tucked the feather in the same pocket as the bit of cork.

In the Great Hall, Ron and Hermione were already seated, and Ron moved over to give him room to sit at the end of the table. Hermione had a book open in front of her and was oblivious to the rest of the room.

"Everything okay, mate?" Ron asked. "You came in with Snape, didn't you?"

"Yes, Ron," Harry said, a bit annoyed. "He isn't out to torment me anymore, you know. Just because we came in together doesn't mean I was getting detention for breathing his air."

Ron held up his hands in defense. "Hey, wait, I didn't say that, did I? I meant was everything okay with You-Know-Who and all that. Calm down."

Sheepishly, Harry apologized and explained about the attack on Nott the night before. Ron forgave him for not waking him up once Harry explained that he did not know if he had much time, as well as reassuring him that he had taken the cloak. "So I went down to tell Professor Snape this morning."

"You've been spending a lot of time with Professor Snape lately, haven't you?"

"Uh, well," Harry felt his face flush. He looked around to see if anyone else had heard Ron's comment. At the end of the table, they were all but alone, outside of Hermione who had shut out the world in favor of her textbook. "I guess. I can't be too far away if Voldemort tries something, you know. Plus all the extra training. And potions never was my best subject, so I might as well get whatever help I can now that we don't hate each other. And he's still giving me help with Occlumency." The last was not true, as Snape had already told him he had taught him as much as he knew. But of everything, he knew that was a reason than neither Ron nor Hermione would question. They knew nothing about what he was learning, so they never needed details.

"Right," Ron said, smirking. "You realize I have five older brothers, don't you? I may not be the smartest guy in school, but I'm not the dumbest either."

"What do you mean?" Harry tried to sound confused and hoped he was convincing.

"With the amount of teasing that goes on in my house, do you really think we can't spot someone with a crush from a kilometer away? Don't worry. I'm not going to tease you about it. Well, not in public. But Snape's pretty sharp, and he's going to figure it out eventually."

For a brief moment, Harry considered asking Ron if nibbling on the man's bottom lip was a giveaway, but decided against it. Sure, Ron's reaction would be worth seeing, but until he discussed it with Severus, he was going to keep his secret.

"I'll try to control myself," Harry said with a wry grin.

"Seriously," Ron said. "I mean, I know Snape's a lot better than he used to be. But sometimes guys get freaked out about stuff like this. Mum's cousin, Stu, the one Ginny told you about. He worked with a guy once who knew all about him and didn't care. Or didn't seem to. Then one day someone, just as a joke, said that maybe Stu liked this guy. After that, he wouldn't even go in the same room with Stu if he could help it. It seems weird to say it, but I know you're thinking of Snape like a friend. Obviously, you've got pretty good taste in friends." Ron grinned. "And there's that stuff between you two that you can't tell us about, so even if I don't really get it, I guess you do. Anyway, if he gets all freaked out and acts like a jerk again, I'll have to kill him, and I don't want to end up in Azkaban."

"I don't think you have to worry about that, Ron," Harry replied. "But I appreciate you saying it. It's great knowing you're okay with all this."

Now Ron grew embarrassed. "Well, you know how girls like gay guys. So I figure once word gets out that my best friend's gay, they'll all think I'm sensitive and stuff. They'll be lining up for a piece of me."

Harry laughed and the two returned their attention to their waiting breakfast.

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In potions class, Severus paired Ron with Nott. Before they headed to their cauldrons, Harry reminded Ron to give him the benefit of the doubt. Ron promised not to start anything with the other boy and to avoid talking about the Dark Mark or Voldemort. As far as Harry could tell from across the room, the two seemed to work well enough together. At least there were no arguments.

After classes finished, Harry rushed through his homework. He knew Severus was meeting with Nott after dinner, so he planned on giving them some time before heading to the dungeons himself. When he finally arrived at the bust of Salazar, he asked in Parseltongue, "Is Professor Snape alone?"

The bust hissed back in the negative, and Harry chose to wait in the hall until Nott left. It was getting late, which Harry took as a good sign. If they had been talking for that long, surely it had been constructive.

Finally, the wall opened and Nott left, looking much as he had the previous night when Harry saw him leave the rooms. Harry rushed into the suite before the door could solidify and pulled off his cloak.

"I waited outside for you to finish with Nott," Harry said, stepping close to Severus. "So, did you two talk?"

"I do not believe Mr. Nott would want me discussing this with anyone else."

"Fair enough," Harry replied. It really was none of his business. He wrapped his arms around Severus and leaned in close. The older man stood stiffly, not responding to Harry's embrace. "Is everything okay?"

"I told you, I do not wish to discuss it." He pulled himself from Harry's arms and walked to the table.

"Okay," Harry said, hurt but trying to be understanding. "I just-"

"It is approaching curfew. You should not be out of your tower. Do not force me to take points from Gryffindor."

Harry had heard enough serious threats from the man to tell that was not a joke. Taken aback, he felt his temper rise. He sure didn't mind me being out past curfew last night. He opened his mouth to say as much, but realized that arguing would likely result in either points lost or detention. Either way, he did not want to have to explain that to Ron and Hermione. Cloak in hand, he took a deep breath and replied. "Of course, Professor. I'm sorry to have bothered you." Turning on his heel, he stormed out of the room.

The following day in potions class, Ron was again placed with Nott. Harry, for his part, did nothing to show he was upset at Severus. He did his work as he had done all term and answered any questions as well he could. He avoided looking at the other man, though, whenever possible. Despite the long history between them, there was something about being dismissed in that manner that hurt Harry more than he wanted to admit.

That night the group had another training session. Harry was pitted against both Jones and Severus as well as Hermione and this time Neville, too. He pushed his anger down and focused on the task at hand. As in the previous session, he was successful in avoiding most of the attacks all night. As for Severus, Harry paid him the same respect he gave Professor Jones. When the evening ended, he left with his friends, though normally he would have stayed back to share a few private words with the Potions Master.

The next day was much the same. Harry had decided that as Severus–no, Professor Snape–was going to treat him like a student, he would in turn be treated like a professor. Snape made no effort to talk to Harry alone. Ron noted the distance between Harry and Snape, but Harry hid the underlying tension. Ron made a comment about Harry doing a good job being less obvious and left it at that.

In the library before dinner, the group of friends sat, alternately doing bits of homework and chatting quietly. Harry was a bit surprised when Ron noticed Nott enter and waved the boy to their table. "Nott, have you done potions homework yet?"

"I was just going to do it now," the boy replied, eyeing the other students warily.

"Want to do it with us?" Ron asked, then turned to his friends. "He's pretty good with that stuff. Must be a Slytherin thing."

Nott agreed and within a half hour they had worked out the questions assigned to them. Though he was in no mood to talk to anyone, Harry forced himself to be civil to the boy. He was mad at Severus, after all, and taking it out on Nott would be unfair, and certainly misinterpreted as distrust on his part. Nott still seemed a bit uneasy around them, but they all did their best to treat him like they would anyone else. He gave them a stiff thank you when he got up to leave.

"No problem," Ron said. "Any time you want to work with us, just come on over."

"That was nice of you," Luna remarked. "I don't think he has many friends left."

"I don't think so either," Ron agreed. "I kind of got that feeling when we were working together in potions class. It's like he's just waiting for someone to accuse him of something. Or attack him."

"At least now he knows we won't," Neville said.

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Three days after Harry had been expelled from Severus's rooms, the professor asked him to stay behind after the class left. Harry packed up his books but waited at his desk as the students filed out.

"Yes, Professor?" Harry kept his voice even.

"I simply wanted to let you know I will be in my chambers after dinner."

That was it? "Okay, Professor," Harry replied, knowing that with the room empty, he could be using the man's given name. "If Voldemort tries anything, I'll go there directly when you alert me."

That response got Snape's attention. "I meant you can come see me if you'd like. I doubt the Dark Lord will try anything."

Harry wondered if the other man truly had no idea Harry was mad, or if he was pretending not to to avoid a fight. He suspected the latter. "I think I'm better off in Gryffindor Tower, Professor. I'm used to being made to feel like dirt in the halls and here in the classroom, but unless you or Nott are in danger, I'd rather not be down here just to get insulted."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Snape crossed his arms across his chest defensively, signally to Harry that he certainly did know why Harry was upset. Harry refused to let him get away with it.

"Yes, you do. Taking points from Gryffindor? You couldn't just tell me you wanted to be alone, or you didn't want to talk about it?"

"I am still a professor here, and I have responsibilities. I had thought you understood that."

"That I understood? I understand that just fine." How can he say I'm at fault? "If you want to take points off because I didn't do my homework, I can deal with that. If you have to give me detention for being late, I can handle that, too. I don't expect you to turn a blind eye if I do something to deserve punishment. But the other night had nothing to do with that. It had to do with you humiliating me because you can."

"Then you took the child's way out," Snape accused. "If you felt that way, you should have said something then."

"No, I couldn't. You made it very clear, Professor, that I was not welcome to speak at all. Ron and Hermione are prefects. They'd have known you took points away from me last night and would have asked why. What did you expect me to say to them?"

The Potions Master stood at his desk with no answer forthcoming. After several heartbeats, Harry turned and left the room.

He knew his friends were at the library, so Harry chose to return to Gryffindor alone, where he stayed until dinner. He was torn between staying in the dorm and going down to the Great Hall. He was neither hungry nor in want of company. But Severus had all but called him a child, and he refused to be caught pouting.

Not that he ate much at dinner. And though he tried to keep his tone cheerful, he did not engage in conversation and gave short replies to direct questions. When Ron asked him if something was wrong, he explained he was tired, but feeling fine.

At the end of the meal, Harry pushed his plate away. With a small *pop* a folded parchment appeared in front of him and fell where his plate had just been. "Harry," it read. "Please come to my chambers after dinner. Severus." Harry folded the paper and tucked it away before anyone noticed. He left the hall without looking back at the head table or the Potions Master still seated there.

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Harry fetched his invisibility cloak and told Ron that Snape wanted to hold another Occlumency lesson, then returned again to the dungeon. Outside the man's rooms, Harry tapped his wand on the alarm stone rather than alerting Salazar to his presence. Even if the statue still let him in, Harry wanted to make the point to Snape. If this was how he wanted things, this is how they would be.

The archway shimmered into sight and Harry removed his cloak as he stepped into the room. He stopped just far enough inside to allow the wall to reform. Severus stood across the room. "Harry . . . I wasn't sure if you would respond to my invitation."

"I wasn't aware I had a choice, Professor."

Severus sighed heavily. "Of course you had a choice."

"Then I can leave?" Harry asked, his voice neutral. He was not sure if he wanted to leave, but knowing whether or not he had the choice was important.

"Yes." The man's voice sounded tired. He looked tired, too, Harry noticed. He hadn't looked that tired even when Harry had entered moments before, and he realized Severus had lowered his guard. "But please hear me out first." Harry did not turn around, and Severus came closer until they were nearly touching. "I understand why you're upset. I do not blame you. But I hope you believe that I did not intend to hurt you or humiliate you. I have done that far, far too many times already. This time, though, it did not occur to me what my words meant. I was the one who abused my position, and I have no right to do that."

"I just need to know that you think of me as an equal. I meant what I said about giving me detention in the classroom. That's different. But I can't come here anymore if you're going to be Severus sometimes and Professor Snape others."

"And you shouldn't have to worry about that," Severus replied. He caught Harry's hand in his own and held it gently. "If you will forgive me, I promise never to do that again."

Harry replied by again offering the embrace that had been refused three nights before. This time, it was accepted as Severus's strong arms held him close. He felt secure, as if some hurdle had been overcome and a new understanding reached.

Back on the couch, Severus's fingers gently ran through Harry's hair, up and down the back of his neck as he laid his cheek against the man's chest. "You were half right about Theodore," Severus said softly. "He does need to talk to someone, but I'm not the right choice."

"Why not?" Harry was enjoying the physical contact far too much to move from where he was. Even when he had been mad at Severus, he had missed the contact.

"He blames me," Severus replied. "I could have prevented his Marking, but I did nothing, and now his life is in danger and he will forever be branded as a Death Eater."

"What did you say to him?"

"What could I tell him? I explained that anything I did to stop the Marking would have revealed me as a traitor, and at the time we did not know you could protect me."

Harry lifted his head to catch Severus's eyes. "That's not why you let the Markings go on."

"I know that, but if he did not go to the Dark Lord willingly, it is better that he thinks I was too weak to interfere than know that I believed he desired this."

"He seemed to want it at the time. The Dark Lord certainly thought he did."

"Will you talk to him? It doesn't matter if he hates me or not, but he needs to share this burden."

"I'll try, but Ron may be a better choice. He and Nott seem to be getting along okay. I'm sure you planned on that, though."

"Pairing him with you would have been a tempting target for any supporters of the Dark Lord in the class. Weasley seemed a safer partner for him. I am gratified that decision paid off. I'll leave him to you and your friends then, for now."

"We're going to start a club, soon. All the Hogwarts students that the Dark Lord wants to kill. With Nott, we've enough to start our own Quidditch Team and keep an alternate on the bench." Severus responded with a throaty chuckle and Harry returned his head to its place on the man's chest. "Is that why you were upset the other day?"

"Yes," Severus replied. "I truly am sorry for what I said to you. I'm not used to anyone caring that I am upset. Being left alone has become standard fare; I don't normally need to tell anyone I'm not in the mood to talk."

"I know," Harry said. "And I forgive you." He raised his head again and pressed a soft kiss to Severus's lips. He thrilled at the touch. It was the first time he had instigated a kiss with the man, and the knowledge that he could do that, without a single doubt that it would be returned, enjoyed, even desired, was heady indeed.

Once they had settled back into their customary position, Severus's lips brushing Harry's neck periodically to send shivers down his spine, the Potions Master spoke again. "I had nearly forgotten. I have worked out a better method for Nott and me to contact you should we need your help. It is not quite ready, but should be soon."

"What did you have in mind?" Harry asked, wondering what form it would take. Severus summoned a small box over and opened it so Harry could see. Inside was a simple looking band of flat metal.

"The charms are working, but I am not satisfied with its appearance," Severus explained.

Plucking it from the box, Harry examined it. The bracelet appeared to be made of silver, polished brightly, a few centimeters wide. "What's wrong with it?"

"It is far too reminiscent of shackles as it currently exists. It is bad enough you are chained to the Dark Lord, as well as Nott and me, in a rhetorical sense. You do not need such a physical symbol of that."

"Don't be silly. It's lovely already. How does it work?" Without letting Severus complain again that it was not ready to be worn, he slipped the band on. It shrank slightly to fit comfortably on his wrist without the risk of falling off. Suddenly, he felt a tingling in his arm–nothing painful, but certainly enough to get his attention or even wake him up.

"Look at the band now," Severus told him. Harry pushed his sleeve back to see the name "Severus Snape" etched into the surface. Beside the name, an arrow pointed back to Harry and through him to where Severus sat at Harry's back. Harry stretched his arm out and swept it back and forth, watching as the arrow moved to stay fixed on Severus's position.

"That's brilliant," Harry said, beaming.

"It will do the same for Nott. He will be given a smaller item to wear that will be bound to this one. I thought I would let him choose the form, as it need not have enough surface to display a name." Harry nodded in response, his fingers tracing the words as they faded, leaving an unblemished silver surface.

"What's yours look like?" Harry asked. Severus cast another summoning charm and opened his palm to show a plain silver ring. The man slipped it over his middle finger.

"I should start wearing this now, if you insist on taking the bracelet with you. I took some liberty with this particular ring. Concentrate on the bracelet. Focus on my name at the same time. Harry obeyed, and Severus held his hand out, palm up, to show him the underside of the ring. Small letters on the ring spelled out "Harry," and a tiny arrow pointed at him. "I spelled both items to work one-way. My ring will not show me where you are unless you activate your bracelet, and vice versa. The exception is if the target is unable to sense the spell. Should I use my ring to contact you, it will instead show me your whereabouts if you are unconscious. Anything more active between the two pieces can be dangerous as they would be detected by any device that detects communication spells."

Harry was overwhelmed. He had long since realized that Severus would never allow any harm to come to him, but now he had gone out of his way to make sure he would always have a way to call for help.

"Also," Severus continued, "this allows us some privacy. You do not have to feel as if I am keeping tabs on your whereabouts. For now, they are only useful in emergencies." Harry nodded, understanding that they both had moments when they did not want to be found unless it was necessary.

"It's perfect, Severus. Thank you."

Placing a soft kiss on Harry's neck, Severus said, "You're doing it again. I should be thanking you for being willing to wear it. This it not a gift without cost to you."

"True, but the same could be said for you. You didn't make it just so I could help you, after all," Harry pointed out. "You're being nice again."

"Nonsense," Severus replied, though the word was muffled as he was once again nibbling at Harry's collarbone.