After They Disgraced Themselves

Chapter 8

The library was a great place to sit quietly and study. Unfortunately for Madam Pince, this wasn't quite the intention that Remus, Sirius, James, and Peter had as they found an isolated desk and brought out their textbooks.

"If we can't study here, at least we can look hard-working," said Remus, who was a bit cheesed off at the idea of plotting a prank in the library.

Sirius ignored the scowls that Remus shot at him every now and then and opened his battered copy of Crafty Capers by Baxter Featherhead.

"You think we should try flooding the dungeons?" he suggested, flipping around the pages of water spells.

"Too risky," Remus whispered.

"How about llamas?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Llamas aren't interesting. They just chew stuff up. We need something interesting!"
"Pixies are interesting...."

"I mean something interesting that won't get us expelled by McGonagall..."

"I don't know about you, Moony, but I'm like a son to Professor McGonagall," Sirius retorted, putting on a very innocent look.

"Meaning she'll yell as loud as she can at you while she writes the expulsion note to your parents..."

"Stop rubbing it in..." Sirius said with a mock-scowl.

"So, pixies are a no show?" James asked, sounding a bit disappointed.

"Thank god!" Peter spoke out, pausing from his Potions homework. "I don't know how we'd be able to control them..."

"I've heard that Butterbeer keeps them in check..."

"No," Remus muttered definitively as he finished the last of his Arithmancy charts.

"All right," Sirius gave in, rifling through the pages of Crafty Capers again. He scowled and laid it on the table, giving up on the research. Ames darted forth and grabbed the book. He opened to a random page and smiled, "Oh, here's something good! Purple slime that drips from the ceiling every time someone sneezes...."

"Does the slime have to be purple?

"I don't know... I guess we can change colors after it's prepared... but some of this stuff looks tricky... anyone know where we can find snake ears?"

Remus rolled his eyes. Sirius and James were a great accomplice, but he just lacked subtlety. Remus preferred escapades involving anonymity and carefully planned out details. The way Sirius went about, it, it was no wonder that he and James were caught many times by the vigilant eye of Professor McGonagall, whose alertness seemed to rival that of Dumbledore. Remus, on the other hand, was hardly ever caught, thanks to his forethought as he engaged in the notorious antics of his best friends. Remus had to give Sirius and James credit though; their plans of transforming into Animagi had been completely their effort, even after having been discouraged by Remus, and he had been amazed when they managed to pull it off along with Peter.

"Remus, what does a tornado in the Potions dungeon say to you?" James asked, peering up from the book.

"It says 'Detention from Clinch' all over it, and I not really willing to live through that nightmare again."

"How about the Charms corridor then?"

"Detention from Flitwick."

"Does it always have to end with detention?"

"I think that McGonagall has read that book."

"But I brought it from home!" Sirius said indignantly, referring to the large collection of pranking paraphernalia hidden in the vault under his bed. The vault had been a storage place for the four boys' equipment since second year.

"Well, McGonagall does her homework, unlike you at the moment."

Sirius presented a genuine scowl and turned to the Potions essay on the effect of brimstone on potion vapor.

"Touché," Remus triumphantly muttered to himself. Sirius growled. James just ignored them. He put the book down, and searched his Charms text for Warding Spells and Love Charms, unsure of which one to use on Lily. Suddenly, he starts singing...

"We like the moon...'Cause it is close to us..."

Remus raised an eyebrow. "What are you singing?"

"I once heard these muggle blokes singing it... and now I have it stuck in my head... We like the moon... 'Cause it is close to us... We like the moon... but not as much as a spoon... which is used for eating soup... and a fork isn't very useful for that... unless it has many vegetables... and then you're better off with a chopstick! Unlike the moon! It is up there very high, but not as high as maybe dirigibles or zeppelins or light bulbs! And maybe clouds... And puffins also maybe... I think they go quite high too... Maybe not as high as the moon 'cause the moon is very high... we like the moon..."

"You would," Remus scowled. James grinned and continued singing softly.

"We like the moon! The moon is very useful everyone! Everybody like the moon... 'Cause it light up the sky at night and it lovely and it make the tide go and we like it... but not as much as cheese."

"So how long were you listening to these muggles?" Sirius asked looking interested. After all, puffins did go quite high and so did clouds. James just shrugged and continued.

"We really like cheese, we like zeppelins!"

"There's more?"

"We really like them and we like kelp and we like deer and we like moose and we like marmots and we like all the fluffy animals! We really like the moon!"

"Snow!" Remus burst out.

"What?"

"We should have snow!"

"Remus," said Sirius in a very psychiatrist-y voice, "It's the beginning of April right now. We don't have snow..."

"We don't just come to Hogwarts to sit around and sing, you know."

"We don't?"

"No, James... although your song was... interesting."

"So what's you point?"

Remus had that manic glint in his eyes. Sirius, James, and Peter were definitely interested now.

"What are you boys doing?" said an imperious voice behind Sirius and James. Madame Pince was hovering over them, her face not unlike that of a wary eagle. A very pissed off wary eagle, that is.

"We were-" started James, trying to find an excuse.

"-just talking about Professor Flitwick's class," blurted Remus.

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah... you know... charms that influence the weather..."

"Oh...very well then," said Madame Pince, and marched off to questions the other students currently in the library.

"That woman needs a hobby!" cried out Sirius exasperatedly.

"I think that is her hobby..." Remus noted. "Well in any case, we have to find a charm to make it snow...Okay... What we're going to do is enchant the Great Hall ceiling to make it snow. We can also enchant the windows... but what happens after that will be purely depending on how everyone reacts... and if Sirius' reaction to snow falling in springtime is any indication, this will be very juicy..."

"That is pure brilliance! Can we make purple snow?" Sirius asked eagerly.

James shook his head. Even after five years of knowing Sirius, James had yet to discover the reason behind Sirius's obsession over small details like changing the color of snow and adding a cherry to an ice cream covered statue of Salazar Slytherin.

"I think it's a great idea." he asserted.

"Aren't prefects supposed to behave?" Peter asked pointedly at Remus. Sirius took one look at Remus' scheming face and burst out laughing.

"If Remus ever stops pranking, I'll be James' aunt."

James, whose memories of aunts was still quite painful, wincing and instinctively clapped his hand to his cheek. Of course, this induced more chortling.

"Will you look at the time? I'm off to see someone in the common room" said Sirius, gathering his belongings. James picks up his books and put them in his bag as well.

"Yeah, I better get going too... getting a bit tired... and I have to finish some homework... see you two later...."

Remus and Peter waved goodbye. There was a silence at the table.

"Um... I have to go to homework help," said Peter. Remus nodded, immersed in Richard Cirrus' Guide to Meteorological Magic. It was very interesting... there was a whole chapter devoted to magicking every type of snow possible (and not so possible in some cases); clumpy, icy, soft, warm, intangible, shaped, sticky, non-sticky, quick-melting, and, to Sirius' delight (if he had been there), multicolored. Of course, he hadn't been able to research any further as a girl had plopped into the seat right next to him. He looked at her and smiled.

"Hello Lily."

"Hi, Remus," she murmured, frowning slightly.

"Is there something wrong?"

"N-no....there's nothing wro- actually, yes... there is."

"Care to elaborate or are we playing the Suspense Game?"

"It's just... IwannatahbowJames."

"Um... what?"

"I want to talk about James," she said nervously, peering about as if to check if anyone was listening.

"Okaaay...," said Remus, looking rather startled. After all, the girl did not exactly want to chat about her source of annoyance everyday.

"Well?" Lily said, looking impatient.

"Well what?"

"Why?"

"Are we playing a new game with words that start with W? You really have to warn me about this... I'm not really the improvisational type..."

Lily glared at him. Remus smiled.

"Okay... okay... what about James do you want to talk about?"

"Why are you friends with him? I mean, you strike me as a rational person... and James is... not."

Remus blinked. It wasn't a question he answered everyday.... how would he justify why he associated himself with James and Sirius? Maybe in another life or universe, he would have been mates with Snape or the Hufflepuff whose name he kept forgetting... but why was he, in this life, fated to be James' friend?

"I am friends with James because he will always be there for me... and I don't just mean when all is well. James, Sirius and Peter will always be by my side... whether I'm happy... or I'm not... myself." Remus ended the sentence there, not really wanting to talk about that aspect of his life further. Lily seemed to have gotten the implications of his speech, for she relaxed her frown and replaced it with a look of sympathy. He sighed.

"Now before you start going all sorry for me, listen. I don't want you to be looking at me like that... as if I'm a poor little cursed boy. I happen to have a relatively happy life. I enjoy some of the best education the wizarding world can offer, I have a supportive and encouraging headmaster who is patient with me, and I have friends who I know will always be there for me. You may think James and Sirius are always fooling around, but the pranks they do and the fun we have.... that takes the pain and agony away. They have the ability to make me happy and great at my studies. Even muggles say that laughter is the best medicine. And you know what? It's the only medicine I have to fight myself."

Now it was Lily's turn to sigh.

"I can see what you're talking about... but I still think they act so immature. The two of them are so arrogant..."

"Well, I'm definitely not denying the fact that they go overboard often... but they're not just irresponsible berks, you know-"

"-Well, anyone who's seen James' grades knows that..."

"Still, James and Sirius have some of the most loyal personalities I know, and with what I have, it's what I need."

"Then why did they just blurt it out to me the other day?"

Remus scratched his chin. It was a good question, one he had been wondering himself.

"I don't know... but I don't see any harm in it... you're a good friend of mine as well... and you wouldn't tell anyone, would you?"

"Of course not!
"Well, I don't know if you know this, and I really don't think I should be telling you, but James really fancies you."

"Well, I knew that!"

"Really?"

"Remus, I'm not air headed, you know... even a girl like me, who tends to be more study-oriented, can sense a drooling boy a mile away."

Remus chuckled. This was material that Sirius would likely use to blackmail James in some way... it was as juicy as snow in the Great Hall.

"So you realize he's totally mindless when you're within a ten-foot-radius of him...."

"Well, it explains those clouded eyes..."

"Well, he definitely doesn't think when he's around you. That's also why he seems very immature and reckless to you...."

"So what are you saying I should do? I'm not really ready for that type of relationship now."

"Why?" asked Remus curiously. After all, many of the other girls at Hogwarts would definitely not mind being coupled with James Potter.

"Well, it's like I said, he's arrogant. Maybe if he stopped looking at me for what I looked like and saw me for my personality, I wouldn't mind. But I'm just not ready for a relationship now and neither is he. Maybe if he worked out some of his problems, I might consider an offer. But he's just not right... and I just have so much to do that that even if I do accept to see him, I won't actually be able to see him much. But I can do one thing."

"What?"

"I can get on friendly terms with him... but nothing more."

"Well, that would certainly make his day...."

"I just hope he's a lot more like you said he is...."

Remus smiled... because in truth... James really was. But we still have to take in consideration that he's sometimes an impulsive and bigheaded git with a knack for short term memory loss...

************

James just followed Sirius exhaustedly. He really didn't have any homework to finish, but he'd just rather go to sleep or eat something. Knowing that the kitchen was considerably closer, he turned to Sirius.

"I'm off to get some food."

"Okay."

"Bye."

"Mm-hmm."

James glanced at Sirius and noticed that his eyes were glazed over. This could only mean one thing. Sirius was in love again. Now Sirius was a hopeless lover. He didn't exactly need to advertise himself (although I doubt the girls would have minded if he did), but staying in a relationship... that was a different story. This meant that Sirius would be muttering in his sleep again, murmuring dream marriage proposals until someone volunteered to knock out the boy with his own Beater bat. This meant that at the coming Hogsmeade trip, Sirius would disappear for an hour or so, reappearing in the Three Broomsticks grinning broadly and looking awfully pleased with himself. But that wasn't the worst part. When Sirius finally became tired of buying extra chocolate for his girlfriend and alarmed of his visits to Madam Puddifoot's, it was up to Remus and James to comfort/fend off the poor dumped girl. James preferred the angry ones, who could be dealt with a quick Leg-Locker and a Memory Charm, to the sobbing ones, who would find their way to the Gryffindor fifth years' dormitory (even if they weren't Gryffindors) and remain outside the door during evenings, sobbing until James or Remus (who would be going out and heading for his night at the Shrieking Shack) came out and convince the girl to leave the dormitory and forget about Sirius. This usually meant wet robes as the girls often chose to cry on the shoulder of the uncomfortable comforter-person. James was personally glad he chose a more silent, dry approach to teenage love, even if it was rather pathetic and useless. He sighed and turned into the hallway by the marble stairs.

Even if he's a dolt about it, Sirius is really lucky, he admitted painfully. He has girls willing enough to worship his footsteps in order to become his girlfriend. I, on the other hand-James snorted cynically- I'm lucky if I even get a whiff of Lily, much less a date.

It wasn't that he wasn't a good boyfriend-type- After all, he had heard of a James Potter Fan Club in one of the Ravenclaw girls' dormitory- but he simply wasn't the casual, flirtatious type. He was mischievous, playful, and had a wonderful thoughtful side, but he didn't care enough about girls to want to show it. Other the other hand, Sirius was always one to show off, to glance wolfishly at the girls as he talk to James about their next big plan, to wink subtly at a female partner during class, and to grin boldly as girls whispered to each other, their eyes darting to him every now and then, and giggled.

This was what James had to contend with, in a way. Since around third year, the female population became more social and the interaction between the males and females became much more open. It was a change that James struggled to adapt to; after all, one day, his Charms partner was aloof towards him, the next, she was giggling and blushing whenever he insisted that they practice the given spell. However, Sirius had just molded into the environment in his distinctive casual way. Remus and Peter really didn't seem to care; they adapted quickly to the girls' behavior.

James had now reached a door decorated with a picture of a fruit bowl. He mechanically tickled the pear and pulled the door knob that had appeared consequently. Inside, there was a whirlwind of activity and all the house elves were bustling around, some carrying platters that were twice their weight and almost their height. James stopped an empty handed one.

"Er, could I have an éclair?"

The house elf, instead of looking happy to comply the request, looked at his fellow house elves, trembling with fear. One of the others, having placed an enormous gravy dish at the counterpart Ravenclaw table, spoke out.

"Tickly, what does the master want?"

When the terrified elf responded, James could barely make out what he said.

"The master wants an éclair!"

And with that, all the house elves started running and sobbing, their squealing voices nearly turning James's ears deaf. James had no clue what he had just done this time.

************

"Can I ask you a question?" Lily asked. Remus looked up from his book. He hadn't realized that she was still there.

"Sure."

"When did it happen?"

"I thought we stopped playing those games..."

"When did you get the... bite?"

Remus stiffened. Lily had a knack for asking either extremely vague questions or ones that were rather difficult to answer.

"You want to know how I came to be... like this?"

"Yeah... if you want to talk about it," Lily added hesitantly, realizing that this was a painful topic for Remus.

"Simple. I lived by some woods. I wandered too far and too late into them one day and got bitten by one. My parents, not knowing what to do, gave me to an anonymous werewolf clinic. You know my sister Elizabeth Lupin?"

Lily, recalling the blonde Hufflepuff who always accompanied Remus at Diagon Alley and Platform 9 ¾, nodded.

"Well, she's not really my sister. But she's the daughter of my foster mother at the clinic, so I consider her to be my sister. She's the one friend I had to grow up with, and even though we've gone our separate ways, we're still pretty close."

Lily sighed. Remus's life, as cursed as it seemed, was a bit better than her own. At least Remus didn't have to worry about being shunned from his familymembers for being different. He didn't have a sister like Petunia, who had all but disowned Lily as a family member. The only connection Lily shared with Petunia nowadays was blood.

"Lily, are you okay?"

Lily snapped out her thoughts.

"Yeah, I just was thinking... anyway, so tell me more about your sister."

"Well, she's one year younger than me, so I'm kind of a protective brother for her."

"Didn't she go out with James?" Lily had absolutely no clue why she had blurted that out. Why should she care who James went out with? It wasn't her problem anyway... but why then was her stomach knotting uncomfortably?

"Yeah, for a Hogsmeade weekend. Then she complained to me that Gryffindors weren't her type anyway."

"James seemed kind of interested in her," said Lily, surprising herself again. What is wrong with me? Why can't I just... not care what James does? He's just a big jerk anyway... what is it to me if he goes out with other girls?

"I don't know about that... although he didn't really talk to me after that weekend, so I have my suspicions," Remus replied.

"Well, speaking of Hogsmeade weekends, want to get together at Three Broomsticks during the one next week?"

"Sure, Lily!"

Lily smiled. Remus was fun to talk to.

************

Meanwhile, James was still spinning in the huge house elf whirlwind in the kitchen.

"Why me?" he cried as several of them worried house elves tripped over his shoe.

"Oh no, we've displeased the master!" wailed a house elf.

"Oh no! He's becoming depressed because of us!" moaned another and suddenly, James felt as if he was in an earthquake as several of the house elves banged their heads on the cabinets along the wall. If he had been able to think straight (well as straight as he could possibly think), James would have wondered if the Hufflepuffs could hear the pandemonium, knowing that their common room was close by. But now, he was just trying to make it stop.

"STOP! Stop it, I tell you! I order you to stop!"

And then there was silence. But not before the high-pitched ringing in James' ears. All the house elves looked at him, wiping the tears and snot from their face.

"T-thank you for saving us," whispered one by his feet with an especially large nose.

"PLEASE get off me. Alright, what is going on here? I just wanted an éclair"-he pointed a threatening finger towards a house elf that was moving its head back to the cabinets- "and you all suddenly take off and run like hell."

"Please, sir, forgive us. We have no sugar."

"You have no sugar?" James repeated dimly. Several of the house elves sniffed loudly.

"We is really sorry, sir!"

"So... you were running around like the devil was coming... because there was no sugar?"

"Y-yes. We is really sorry! Tickly is very sorry! Master Peeves came in and stole all of Tickly's sugar!" Screaming like so, the house elf launched himself/herself at James, groveling and acting... quite sad. James picked up the house elf and grunted. The blighters were quite heavy!

"Listen... no... don't cry. It's okay... can you get me something to eat?"

With that, the house elves rushed to him with plates of every kind of food possible... James' head started spinning again. He grabbed as much as he could and headed out of the kitchen, pausing at the door long enough to say "Thanksh" through a mouthful of pudding. He closed the door behind him and found a sugar-happy Peeves in front of him. Needless to say, it took a while for James to return back to the dormitory that evening...