After They Disgraced Themselves

Chapter 1

"Ouch! That was my shoulder!" Sirius hissed at Peter.

"Sorry," mumbled Peter, trying his best to avoid both Sirius's shoulder and his impregnable temper.

"You know, I really didn't need to come...I could have stayed back and made excuses for you guys," Remus mumbled.

"Yeah, gimme a good one about why you shouldn't come with us. I mean, you're the main guy, the reason of this whole expedition, the-" James argued.

"Okay, okay, I get your point. I'm coming with you guys...whatever good it'll do."

"There's lots of good it'll do,' piped in Sirius, "You can tell us exactly how cute we are as Animagi!"

"Um...I'll pass on that one as I don't exactly wish to be homosexual. That reminds me...James, if Peter is here, who's making excuses for us tonight?"

James was about to respond when Peter burst out in outrage.

"I'm not homosexual!"

"Whoever said you were?" asked Remus quizzically.

"You did!"

"I did?"

"Yeah, when you said you didn't want to be homosexual, you said, 'that reminds me...if Peter is here, who's making excuses?'"

"Uh...I didn't mean to imply you or anyone as homosexual. I just remembered something and had brought it up. Sorry..."

"'S okay," aid Peter groggily.

"Anyway, as I was about to say," interrupted James, "I placed an Imperius Curse on Lily Evans and ordered her to make up stuff for us."

"What!" exclaimed Remus, but muffled his tone when the four of them heard footsteps. A few minutes later, Filch and Mrs. Norris strode in, Filch angrily muttering something about tomatoes being thrown at Sir Cadogan.

"That was me," Sirius confessed two minutes later when the coast was clear, "That agonizing git started challenging me to a duel while I was on the way to Divination so I transfigured this stone into a tomato and threw it at the painting and I think he had concussion, but I'm not sure if paintings get that, but I couldn't hear anything so..."

"Back to the point,' muttered Remus, thwacking Sirius on the head to make him shut up.

"Which was?" asked James.

"Did you really put the Imperius Curse on Lily?"

"God, if you're really that gullible, Remus, you might as well pick your behind up and trot it back up to Gryffindor Tower."

"I don't know, James," Sirius grinned evilly (A/N Yeah, go Padfoot, you rock, go Pad- ok ignore me completely *resumes her chant quietly*), "You've been acting very ...flirtatious toward a certain red-haired, green-eyed Gryffindor."

"Me? Flirting with...Lily? Miss I-Must-Endlessly-Study-To-Maintain-My-205%-Average?"

"Well, let me remind you that you are Mr. I-Will-Fool-Around-But-Still-Be-At-The-Top-Of-My-Class."

"You guys think I fancy...Lily?!"

"Well, it's either her or Professor McGonagall," Peter said.

"Eurgh!" James exclaimed, disgusted, "Why are you guys smiling? I don't have that bad a taste!"

"Well I'm smiling because I get to be your Best Man," said Sirius, his grin absolutely obnoxious now. (A/N Go Sirius! You rock...)

"I'm smiling because I know that it's true and you're just too embarrassed to admit it!" Remus grinned as well.

"And I smile because if you don't like her, she's available for me!" Peter grinned and was smacked in the head by Remus.

"I do not fancy McGonagall!" shouted James as they approached their secret room located under the statue of Adriana the Astute.

"I'm talking about Lily, you dimwit! She is good-looking and smart as well"

At this point, James started reddening.

"Aw, look, our Jamie boy is blushing!" teased Sirius, "You know, if he really had put the Imperius Curse on Lily, I wonder what he would have asked her to do...,"

James *got* what he meant and started mock-punching him.

'That was not funny, not funny at all...,"

"Okay, now that we have gotten conveniently off-topic, I want to know who is really covering us up," interrupted Remus.

"Nobody," replied James casually. The other three under the Invisibility Cloak uttered a simultaneous "What!" which made James grin malevolently (yes it is contagious around them).

"James, would you like a free ride to St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries?" Sirius cried out in seething, sarcastic anger.

"I don't know. Do they have popcorn there?" James teased and, hence, received three hard smacks on the back of his head. He took off the Invisibility cloak and walked into the empty, unused room. "I really didn't set up a cover up person tonight. I just put a Snoring Charm on all of our pillows and locked the door. Our dorm room won't be disturbed."

Suddenly, James transformed into a majestic sage, Sirius morphed into a dog, and Peter changed into a rat. Remus patted James's head.

"Are you sure nobody will find us missing?"

The stag just nodded his head.

"Well, if you say so," sighed Remus and slipped under the Invisibility Cloak. As he left the room with the others, he passed a window and glanced at it to see a waxing crescent moon.

Chapter 2

In the Gryffindor 5^th year girls' dormitory...

"Oh, come on Lily! You did agree to do it!" Ann Riley shouted.

"It can't be too bad. You just have to get a sock, not something like their boxers!" said Katherine Scrimshaw.

"God, that gave me a bad image!" Lily Evans squealed. "Why did I ever agree to play 'Truth or Dare' with you guys?"

"Because you were bored of reading 'Hogwarts: A History' for the umpteenth time?" suggested Clara Winters.

"Or probably because you're in a very daring mood right now. Congratulations! You're finally starting to act like a Gryffindor!" commented Jacqueline Delaville.

"Fine, I'll do it!" grumbled Lily and left the door steal a sock from the 5^th year boys' dorm. She crept down the stone stairway and tiptoed to the dorm's door, from which one could have heard the enthusiastic snoring behind it. She tried to turn the knob and found it locked. Whipping out her wand and pointing it at the doorknob, she whispered "Alohomora" and twisted the handle soundlessly. The boys' dorm was similar to the girls' dorm but at the moment, the inhabitants were fast *asleep*, their drapes tightly drawn. Lily paused for a second to make sure she didn't disturb the *sleeping* boys.

As the snoring continued uninterruptedly, she sighed of relief and crawled to the trunk nearest her. James Potter was written over it with what seemed to be glowing fairy dust. As she opened the chest, the first thing she saw was.....yes....a pair of gold boxers with red hearts all over it and James Potter embroidered on it with black thread. Lily wanted to laugh and throw up at the same time, but she just had to be content with stuffing her sleeve in her mouth. She put the boxers to the side and peered at the contents below it. In between some unused (apparently) hair gel and a bag of Dungbombs was a pair of socks with James Potter sewn at the soles. While wondering why all of James's belonging were labeled, Lily continued searching through the trunk for interesting bits of labeled paraphernalia. Underneath a pack of Chocolate Frogs was a tube of toothpaste. Plotting the perfect plan for getting back at James for the time when he dyed her hair purple last week, she took out the tube and pulled back the curtains of his bed in order to make a mustache (or maybe even a beard) out of toothpaste on his face while he was sleeping. But all she found was his blanket neatly folded and his pillow snoring loudly. She pulled back Peter's and Remus's curtains to find the same thing. When she pulled back the curtains from Sirius's bed, there was a piece of old parchment there. Picking up her wand and muttering "Lumos", she beamed it at the parchment.

It said: (A/N If I get some of the wording wrong, don't kill me! I don't have my copy here right with me now!)

Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs,
Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers,

are proud to present

The Marauder's Map

Ignoring the rest of the heading, she stared at the rest of the parchment and gasped. It showed a map of Hogwarts, complete with all the stairways, halls, and rooms. It even showed some secret passages. But what amazed her the most was the fact that there were dots showing where everyone was. McGonagall was probably correcting test papers as she was in her office. Filch and Mrs. Norris were wandering around the Trophy Room. As she looked at it closer, she saw four dots labeled "Moony", "Padfoot", "Wormtail", and "Prongs" were heading inside the Gryffindor common room. Having an idea on who these four were, she hid behind a bed and waited. Four pairs of feet were heard clunking up the stairs. The door burst open.