Ask Moony

Hogwarts students have problems, from O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s to boy/girl relationships to Potions homework. To help Gryffindor students with their problems, you can...

Ask Moony

Abigail frowned at the screen. This was getting all out of hand. Things were going terribly wrong! Well, to be honest, they weren't, but some things were being violated here. They had crossed the sacred line.

"You know what's really scary," said Sirius, standing behind her, "Is that these people know that Remus is a werewolf, and that James, Peter and Me are Animagus, but nothing else."

"Peter and I," Abigail corrected absently, but she was frowning. "Yes, and what's even scarier is how everyone in Hogwarts is turning into werwolves. You supposedly wear nothing but green socks, are waging war on the House-Elves, and everyone knows about your black dog form." She paused. "At least there's no slash."

"Thank goodness," Remus said thankfully, who was usually victim of that.

"Well, there has been some, but I don't allow it in this story." Abigail paused again. "But things seem to be getting knocked way out of proportion. This is a Hogwarts full of people who do nothing but pranking, acting idiotic, and writing letters to Moony about being idiotic."

"What's the difference?" asked Sirius lamely, but a look from Lily shut him up.

"I think you need to write some rules concerning Hogwarts in general, Abigail. You've been pretty leniant so far."

Abigail frowned thoughtfully. "Agreed." She began typing busily.

Canon Rules

1. Remus is the only werewolf in Hogwarts.
2. Only James, Sirius, Peter and possibly Lily know about him being a werewolf.
3. James, Sirius, and Peter are the only Animagi, and no one knows that they are Animagi.
4. The

Guide is definitive. Reality is frequently inaccurate.

"But the sightings of the Animagi are okay," Abigail said thoughtfully. "Like the one letter about the dog and the rat watching the girls in the shower or the dog trying to seal green socks..."

Everyone glances at Sirius and Peter silmultaneously. "But what's with the fourth rule?" Lily asked, tapping the screen. "The Guide is definitive. Reality is frequently inaccurate."

Abigail grinned and looked down at the floor. "Umm....it is canon," she said evasively.

"Just HG2TG canon," Sirius said cryptically. Abigail glared at him.

"All right, Mr. Green Sock man," she said warningly. "You're not supposed to have read so much!"

Sirius shrugged. "You wrote me that way," he pointed out. Abigail glared.

Ask Moony Rules

1. Sirius and Remus like girls. Sorry, I don't do slash.
2. Also, THE picture is burned. Sorry Fireblade, but that never happened. *shudders*
3. James is obsessed with Lily. Just a fact of life, sorry.

Remus sighed with relief. "Thank goodness THE Picture is burned," he said fervently.

James grinned wickedly. "But Moony, it was so cute!"

Sirius and Remus silmultaneously gave James the Death Glare. James snorted. Lily and Peter looked faintly confused. "What picture?" Lily asked.

"There was NO picture," Remus and Sirius said silmultaneously. Abigail frowned. "I'm going to have to make a Sirius list," she sighed, then glared at Sirius. "You know how much trouble you are?"

Sirius:

-wears green socks
-likes sparkly objects
-likes pink and purple bunnies
-has the ability to go to sleep anytime, anywhere
-has a Muggle Radio (see my other soon-to-be-fic Sirius Black and the Muggle Radio)
-hates styrofoam
-carries lots of things in his pockets at all times
-likes to annoy people.

Abigail frowned. "Okay, I'm going to post this now. Say hi to all the nice reviewers, you five!"

"Hi," they all said, bored. Abigail beamed. "Good! Now, after chapter nine (which is the next chapter) Sirius is going to do chapter ten, all right?"

Sirius looked delighted. "WOOT!" he shouted loudly.

"He'll wreck my column!" Moony shouted.

Abigail grinned. "So, chapter ten is Ask Sirius!" She glanced at her email. "And everybody who asked questions after six or seven, it will be in nine, okay? Don't worry! Bye!"