No Laughing Matter

Chapter Seven

Fred spoke to George by Floo the next morning, and told him about the attempted break-in and his visit to their father. George had uttered several succinct swears by the time Fred had finished, and had agreed that it didn't make much sense, but that he would think it over, and they could brainstorm about it later. Fred learned that George had a lot of new ideas to run past him when he returned, and confirmed that he would be home one week from tomorrow, and that he was bringing a surprise with him.

"I have a surprise for you, as well," Fred forced out, thinking of Carly.

Carly and Fred were both too busy to see each other that day, and so arranged by owl to meet at her Uncle's estate. Fred won approval from her aunt immediately by arriving with a large bouquet of mixed flowers for the hostess, and a single rose for Carly. They had an enjoyable meal together, and Fred found that he liked Mr. and Mrs. Winters very much. Mrs. Winters was a slender woman with dense sable hair that she wore in and elaborate twist, and frank chocolate eyes that seemed to take in everything. She looked Fred up and down, and made him glad he'd worn his best robes, and then insisted immediately that he call her Suzette. Mr. Winters was a tall, distinguished looking wizard with dark hair that was turning silver at the temples. He asked Fred to call him by name, as well, and might have looked imposing if not for the character lines etched into is kind face. They had a warm and friendly manner that put him at ease, and their love for their niece was obvious in their every word.

After the meal, Fred lost spectacularly to Carly's uncle Nigel at chess while her aunt Suzette sat knitting, and talked animatedly in a pleasant French accent about the 'news' she had heard from her good friend, Amelia Bones, over lunch that day. It seemed that Narcissa Malfoy was causing a fuss at the Ministry once again, outraged by the treatment of her husband, who had been imprisoned in Azkaban six months ago, for a break in at the Ministry of Magic. Lucius' presence in the Ministry, dressed as a Death Eater and in the company of other escaped Death Eaters, had thrown the wizarding world into a tailspin.

"When Fudge refused to see her, she showed up in Amelia's office demanding his release, but Amelia flatly refused and asked her to leave. Narcissa turned syrupy-sweet, then, and asked if perhaps a sizable donation to St. Mungo's might help 'move the legal process along.' Well you can imagine Amelia's reaction to that!" Suzette chuckled. "I'm surprised that Narcissa didn't end up in a holding cell for attempted bribery of a ministry official."

"Yes," Nigel had nodded, moving a pawn into place. "I've had dealings with Lucius in the past, and I must say I found his ethics rather disturbing. That man used money to buy his way into the ministry without ever holding a post within it, but I was shocked by the news all the same."

"How Fudge has managed to slip through all of this without an inquiry is what puzzles me," Suzette said. "And Amelia won't say a word about it, of course."

"He will have a reckoning, my dear," Nigel assured his wife. "It's no secret that he kept company with the Malfoys both at the Ministry and socially. There's been talk of corruption, and the wizarding public will demand an answer; is already demanding it. It may happen sooner than any of us think."

Fred made non-committal noises as he considered his next move on the chessboard, but looked up, startled, when Nigel commented, "I've been hearing rumors that Albus Dumbledore had been fighting against the rise of You-Know-Who for a whole year before the incident at the Ministry of Magic. They say that he has his own private group who are loyal to him, and working to unseat Fudge."

With the blood rushing in his ears, Fred managed an amused chuckle and made a rash move in the chess game as he said, "Well I know how that rumor got started."

Everyone in the room focused their attention on him, and he tried to keep his voice and body language casual. "During my last year at school, some of the students formed an illegal group to learn Defense Against the Dark Arts, since our teacher was so set against letting us use magic. We named the group Dumbledore's Army as a joke against the Ministry, and the Minister was going to expel Harry Potter because he was the leader of it, and was caught leaving one of the meetings. Dumbledore took the blame to divert trouble from Harry, and Fudge took it to heart that Dumbledore was forming an Army against him."

"Ah yes," Nigel smiled. "I was at the Ministry on business the day Fudge announced that Dumbledore was a wanted fugitive. Even sent Prophet articles to my brother and his family in the states; do you remember, Carly?"

"I remember." She nodded, looking speculatively at Fred. She had not missed the alarmed look that had crossed his face before he had given the explanation of the rumor.

"I daresay that Dumbledore ought to have really formed his army," Suzette commented. "And perhaps the Dark Mark wouldn't have been sighted over two houses in Leicester just last week. Dark days are upon us again, I'm afraid."

"The winds of change are certainly blowing," Nigel agreed. "But I'll put my faith in Dumbledore, with or without his own private army."

*******

Fred was feeling decidedly sulky on Saturday afternoon. He and Carly had not seen each other since he had seen her home after dinner with her Aunt and Uncle. He had been looking forward to seeing her that night, but had just received an owl from her saying that she would not be able to see him until Sunday. To lift his spirits, he sent a package to Ron at school, a 'congratulations' gift for beating up Malfoy. The small box with the swirly WWW monogram on the lid and seal held a couple of chocolate frogs, and one package that looked like a chocolate frog, but would turn his hair blue until he took an antidote. He would send the antidote along in a couple of days. He affixed a special seal to the box and watched as one of the store owls flew away, and wishing he could be there to see the look on Ron's face when he realized what had happened to his hair.

When that failed to bring him completely out of his doldrums, he took a few samples of Canary Creams and placed them on a platter with a sign that said "Free sample! Try one!" He brought a small, spindly table out onto his stoop and set the platter on it, then retreated back inside. Saturdays in Diagon Alley often brought witches and wizards to shop from far away, and so he had a good chance of some unenlightened people trying the tart-like pastries as they passed by. He was sure to get some entertainment and some business out of it. Canary Creams were one of WWW's most popular items, and he was looking forward to showing George the Chicken Chocolates he had perfected over the past couple of days, and wondered if he should put some out on the platter with the Canary Creams to test them out. He decided against it, sure George would want to share in the fun, and went back to the counter to watch from there.

Once, a wizard stopped to examine the sample offering, and Fred tried to look busy so as to not make him suspicious, but a friend stepped up and pointed to the sign above the shop, which bore their name and logo. They went away down the road, and Fred went back to charming rice in between customers. As he bagged a purchase from a witch who had come in looking for Singing Soda (Drinker beware! Before long, you'll burst into song!), he looked up to see Carly's uncle picking up a Canary Cream from the platter and giving it a cautious sniff. Fred raised a hand, intending to warn the man of the consequences, then shrugged. They had discussed the joke shop at length when he'd gone to Winters Manor for dinner, so he had been pretty much warned. He bid the witch a nice day, and then watched with a grin as Nigel popped the pastry into his mouth.

He walked into the store and had just said, "hello," when the custard treat did its work. Nigel Winters stood in front of the counter, covered in bright yellow feathers, and Fred tried very hard to pretend he hadn't noticed. Carly's uncle had seemed to have a good sense of humor, but you never knew how one would react to turning into a large canary. Once he had molted back to his normal state, he doubled over, and gave Fred a start. Fred was ready to vault over the counter to see if he was all right, when the subject of his concern straightened, and Fred could see that his face was contorted with laughter. With a huge sigh of relief, Fred relaxed and waited until Nigel had composed himself.

"My boy," he wheezed, wiping at the tears of mirth on his cheeks, "that has got to be the best trick I've ever seen."

"Thank you sir. What brings you here?" He used his wand to conjure a glass and a pitcher of water to pour him a glass.

"Just wanted to see the place in person, after hearing Carly and you talk about it. I'm going to have to take some of whatever I just ate for one of my colleagues." He eyed the glass Fred handed him suspiciously before drinking the water. "They're brilliant! What else have you got here?"

Fred gave Nigel a personal tour of the shop, and demonstrated a few of the items that caught the older man's interest. He was no less enthusiastic than his niece, and soon had a basket full of Canary Creams, trick wands and other items that made Fred wonder what this man could possible use them all for. He thought maybe he should keep an eye on the jovial Mr. Winters in the future, or risk getting tricked by his own merchandise. After he had paid for his purchases (a sum that made Fred's businessman heart flutter with pleasure), he turned to Fred and said in pleasant tones, "Now, my boy, you are obviously clever and inventive, so I don't need to warn you of what might happen should you hurt my niece in any way, do I?"

Despite the fact that Nigel was smiling at him, Fred did not miss the very serious message emanating from the man's eyes. This was not a man to cross.

"No, sir," He answered truthfully. "I'd sooner die than see her hurt."

"Good man!" Nigel slapped Fred companionably on the back, apparently satisfied with his answer. "Ah! Here is the lovely Suzette at last."

The woman in question was standing in the doorway, looking at the samples offered just outside the door. Nigel winked conspiratorially at Fred and led her back to the plate of Canary Creams saying,

"My dear, you must try one of these!"

"Thank you, dearest, but no. I don't trust you." She answered sagely.

"But I had one myself, only minutes ago; they're divine," he coaxed.

Fred composed his face into a look of polite interest, and waited to see if she would fall for it. He made a mental note that Nigel was the type of man to play a practical joke on his wife without turning a hair, and only smiled when she turned Nigel down a second time and came into the shop.

"I just saw a giant Canary out in the street, Nigel, and it reminded me that I wanted to see about a second owl," she said with a wink at Fred. "We simply have too much correspondence for the one to handle."

Fred stepped forward and poured on some charm by pulling a flower from behind Suzette's ear and presenting it to her, saying, "Mrs. Winters, you're looking lovely this afternoon; that shade of blue is particularly becoming on you."

"I can see that you're going to fit in just fine with our family," Suzette said with a cheerful little laugh. "You're as full of nonsense as Nigel is."

They stayed to visit a little longer, and when Fred told the story about Carly and the raining umbrella, Nigel laughed so hard, that Fred was inclined to give him one as a gift. The Winters' left arguing companionably with each other over Nigel's childish behavior, leaving Fred with a grin on his face.