Harry Potter & The Thousand Mysteries

9/?

Harry lay sleeping in his bed, the sheets everywhere, his hair everywhere.

'Ugh,' he groaned, as he woke up, and checked the alarm clock on his bedside table.

15.36.

He yawned, and rubbed his forehead. He had a terrible headache- he supposed he had had too much to drink last night at the party.

He lay, motionless, in bed for a few minutes, before rolling over onto his other side.

Oh, God, he thought, rubbing his face again.

Parvati was lying, out for the count, beside him. It didn't look like she had any clothes on.

He stood up slowly, trying not to fall. His body seemed to be made of lead, and his head was pounding terribly.

He stumbled slowly into the bathroom.

'Hi, Harry,' said a throaty voice. 'Oh, for god's sake put some clothes on!'

He looked up and saw Lavender, looking a bit worse for the wear, in a set of maroon paisley pyjamas- Ron's pyjamas. He grabbed a towel from the rail and wrapped it around his waist.

'That's better,' she said.

Harry didn't say anything, but instead clapped his hand over his mouth, and stumbled into one of the toilet cubicles.

'You all right?' asked Lavender, as she finished brushing her teeth. 'I was where you are two minutes ago,' she said, as Harry continued throwing up into the toilet.

'Ugh,' he said again, as he stood up. 'What a night- I can't remember a thing,' he said, groggily.

Lavender smiled. 'That,' she said, 'would be because last night you and Parvati drank half a barrel of mulled mead and a lot of whisky between you.'

'Oh, no,' said Harry, running his hands through his hair.

'Here,' said Lavender, handing him a small shot-glass filled with a green liquid. 'Take this, it might make your headache better.'

Harry threw the potion down his neck gratefully.

'I'll be in the common room,' he said woozily, and stumbled out the door.

***

He collapsed in a chair and rubbed his eyes. He was only wearing his boxers, and his dressing gown was wide open, but he didn't care.

'All right, Harry,' said Colin Creevy, as he came bouncing across the room. 'Enjoy the Ball? It was great. And the Party? You were really drunk!'

'Not now, Colin,' said Harry. He couldn't stand a conversation about his drinking exploits right now.

Just as Colin walked away, the Portrait Hole opened, and Hermione stumbled through.

'Ugh,' she said, collapsing in a chair beside Harry. She was wearing the same dress she had on last night, her hair was the bushiest Harry had ever seen it, and her strappy shoes were in her hand.

'Ugh.'

'Tell me about it,' said Harry.

'Have a good night?' she asked. It sounded as if her throat was red raw.

'I can't remember a thing. I just woke up and Parvati was lying naked beside me.'

'I've just spent the past hour throwing up all over a Ravenclaw bathroom. Apparently, I turned up there at six in the morning with a half-full cauldron of whisky.'

'You and David...?' asked Harry.

'I hope it was David,' she said, unsteadily. 'I can't remember a damn thing. All I remember was sitting here, pissed out my head, when you four all went up to bed. I don't know what the hell I've gone and done.'

'Ugh,' said Harry.

'Ugh,' said Hermione.

***

They sat in silence, their heads pounding, until Lavender and Ron came down the stairs, hand in hand.

'Good morning!' said Lavender brightly.

'Good afternoon, rather,' corrected Ron, smiling.

'Fuck off' said Harry and Hermione in unison.

'Oopsies,' said Ron, in a mocking voice. 'Looks like some people had a little too much for drinky-poos last night!'

'Looks like someone's going to get their head kicked in!' said Hermione. Obviously, she wasn't much in the mood for play-acting.

They sat in silence for a while. Parvati came down, and struggled up to her own dormitory. She and Harry avoided each other's eyes. It was about six o'clock when Dean, Seamus, Neville and Ginny joined them.

'Hi,' said Seamus. 'Have a good night?'

Harry grunted. Ron and Lavender had gone for 'a walk', and left just the extremely hung over Hermione with the extremely hung over Harry.

'What were you like last night, Harry?' asked Dean. 'You wouldn't let the rest of us get any sleep.'

'How?' asked Ginny, intrigued. Harry turned red.

'Him and Parvati. They came up at about half-five in the morning! Jeez, it was like a pig farm!'

'What?' asked Harry.

'Grunting and whatnot!' continued Seamus. 'I finally got to sleep after their fourth time.'

'Oh, no!' said Harry, putting his head in his hands.

'Oh, yes,' said Dean. Ginny was giggling like mad.

'Your brother was no better!' said Harry indignantly.

Ginny looked shocked.

'Ron?' she asked.

'The very same! With Lavender Brown.' Said Harry.

Ginny burst into shrieks of laughter.

'So, anyway,' said Harry, trying to divert attention from his and Ron's drunken exploits. 'Did you enjoy the party?'

'Yeah, it was great!' said Neville.

Ginny murmured in agreement. 'If only you had let us at the alcohol, Harry.'

'Piss off!'

They sat in silence for a few minutes.

'So, anyhow, Hermione,' said Ginny, smirking. 'Where did you go last night?'

'What?'

'You went out the portrait hole after Harry and Ron and their *partners* went upstairs.'

Now it was Hermione's turn to go red.

'Oh! Um, nowhere! Just a little walk,' she said, avoiding any eye contact. Harry snorted.

'A likely tale!' said Ginny. 'I was talking to some Ravenclaws at lunch,' she paused, smiling. 'And they seemed to think that you had come stumbling into their common room at six o'clock this morning, with a cauldronful of whisky! Where would they get that from?'

'Heaven knows,' said Hermione. 'What rubbish!'

'It gets worse,' said Ginny, barely able to hide her glee. 'They told me, that you and David Drake, were at the, um, “heebie-jeebies”, rather audibly, until eight o'clock this morning.

'And, they also said that you, my dear Hermione, were vomiting left, right and centre all over their bathroom before taking your leave.'

'Utter rubbish! Not a shred of truth to it!' said Hermione, by this time bright red, like a tomato.

'That's what I assumed,' said Ginny. 'Come on, you lot! Dinner!' They all heaved themselves to their feet, and headed for the portrait hole.

'Oh, by the way,' said Ginny. 'David Drake asked me to give you this- you left it in his dorm last night.' She handed Hermione a silver necklace- the same one she had been wearing at the ball.

***

Harry sat down beside Parvati when he entered the hall.

'Hi,' he said.

'Hi,' she replied. 'You look ropey.'

'Don't,' he said. 'I can't remember a thing.'

'Me neither. It's going to be a long week.'

'I swear,' said Harry vehemently, 'that I will never, ever touch another drop of alcohol again.'

'Good luck!' said Parvati, and they both began to tuck into their dinner.

***

Harry, Parvati and Hermione all ate their dinner in silence while everyone around them had thrilling, scintillating conversations. It's all right for them, thought Harry as he chewed on some rather bland cauliflower. They're heads don't have massive splits down the middle. He took another sip of water. He didn't realise how hungry he was. Technically, he hadn't eaten since yesterday lunchtime- he'd thrown everything he'd eaten since then up. How the hell are Ron and Lavender so alive, he wondered, as he toyed with his corn. They were sitting, laughing and giggling, chatting to Fred and George about the party last night. Admittedly, they looked a little ropey, but they were a hell of a lot better than Harry.

***

Harry didn't bother with dessert that night, and instead inched his way back up to his dormitory alone. He just wanted to lie down in bed and sleep for a week. Never again! He thought.

As he crawled through the dormitory doorway, he heard a voice greet him.

'Hello, Harry!' Remus Lupin was sitting on Harry's bed, stroking a large black dog.

Under normal conditions, Harry would have been thrilled to see Lupin and Sirius, but he just didn't think he could face them right now.

'Hi!' he said slowly, as he pulled his body onto the bed.

'Are you alright, Harry?' asked Lupin.

'No,' said Harry. He didn't even think he could pretend. 'We had a party after the Ball last night, and I think I had too much to drink. I woke up at half three this morning...' He paused, not wanting to go into what happened last night.

'What did you do last night?' asked Sirius, changing into his human form, a huge grin across his face.

'I can't remember.'

'What did you find when you woke up this morning?'

'An empty barrel of mulled mead and Parvati lying beside me- naked.'
Sirius whooped with laughter.

'Please, not so loud,' said Harry softly, massaging his temples.

'Did you two...?' he asked.

'Apparently. Seamus said he heard us at it four times, but I can't remember a thing.'

'What about Ron and Hermione?' asked Lupin, suppressing a smile.

'Hermione turned up drunk at the Ravenclaw Common Room, with a cauldron of whisky- she went to the Ball with David Drake, the Ravenclaw Prefect.

'Ron and Lavender didn't have much to drink at all, and still ended up in bed together.'

Sirius shrieked with laughter. 'And to think that's James' wee lad!' he said, ruffling Harry's hair. 'I remember our parties. I remember once, James and I had snuck out of school...'

'Not now, Sirius,' said Lupin. Harry thanked him from the bottom of his heart. 'We need to speak to you, Harry. We'll meet you, now; let's see, how about to top of the South Tower tomorrow at noon? Tell Ron and Hermione to come up about half an hour later.'

'Thank you,' croaked Harry, as he crawled into bed.

'Bye,' said Lupin, as he followed the large, black dog out the room, but Harry was already fast asleep.

***

'Harry, come in!' said Lupin, as Harry entered the large, square room at the top of the South Tower. A lot more furniture had been added since Harry had been up two nights ago for his Animagus training. There were two four-poster beds, and a wardrobe, and a bookshelf, filled with books. Also, the chairs had been re-upholstered and cleaned. The walls had been painted with a fresh coat of paint, and the floor had been varnished.

'Ah, Harry,' said Dumbledore, who was sitting in one of the chairs. 'Hello, do come in. How are you recovering from your cold?'

'Er...' Lupin nodded encouragingly to Harry from behind Dumbledore. 'Well, tanks, I'm much better.'

'Excellent,' he said. 'Now, to business.'

He motioned for Harry to take a seat. Sirius was lying, stretched-out by the fireplace, and Lupin settled himself in an armchair.

'Tea?' he asked Harry.

'No, thanks,' he replied. 'Why do you want to speak to me?'

'Well, you see, Harry,' said Dumbledore, putting the tips of his fingers together, and looking at Harry through his twinkling, piercing eyes. 'We want to update you on the situation concerning Voldemort. There have been a few developments.

'Nothing happened that would suggest Voldemort's return. My suspicions that he was aware of the Minister's reluctance to accept the truth are yet to be confirmed, however.

'But two weeks ago, things started heating up. We were worried that the Death Eaters were planning a large attack, and we still aren't sure, but that's looking less likely. I would imagine that you would have had some premonitions in your dreams, Harry... unless there's something you're not telling us?'

'No, absolutely not, professor!' said Harry with passion. 'I would tell you immediately.'

'Glad to hear it, Harry!' said Dumbledore. 'But these are just the inane ramblings of an old man. Here are the actual facts:

'Two weeks ago, a train bound for Glasgow Central from Paddington Station disappeared completely, somewhere between York and Darlington. There were three hundred and fifty two muggles aboard.

'On Thursday of last week, an internal flight from Shetland to Aberdeen vanished without trace from the radar scanners at Aberdeen Airport. A total of forty-nine muggles were aboard, including the pilot and cabin crew.

'Last night, three army helicopters in the Cairngorms, Yorkshire and Snowdon Valley, on routine training missions, all disappeared off the face of the earth. Sixteen army officers and two colonels went with them. Every helicopter was under the command of an experienced army pilot.' Dumbledore paused, looking at Harry.

'Altogether, that makes 120 children, 114 women and 185 men, all disappeared without warning or trace.

'Naturally, the muggle government are making inquiries into the disappearances, as are the Ministry of Magic, but I have to tell you, they haven't come up with anything. Not one DNA strand.'

'How do you know it was Voldemort?' asked Harry. It seemed like a logical question.

'Well, that's the thing, Harry,' said Dumbledore, stroking his beard. 'We don't. We can only guess. There's absolutely nothing solid to link Voldemort to any of this. That's why Fudge won't accept that Voldemort has returned.'

Dumbledore began to twiddle his thumbs.

'Is that all we know?' asked Harry.

'Tell him, Dumbledore,' said Lupin.

'I suppose I'd better,' said Dumbledore, sighing. 'Harry, last week, an owl delivered this message to my office.'

He handed Harry an official-looking piece of parchment.

***

Ministry of Magic

Misuse of Muggle Artefacts

London

Dumbledore,

I was talking to Arnold Peasegood, at the Obliviation Control Centre, and he told me that their department has been receiving “unsavoury messages” linking Harry, Hogwarts and the Dark Lord, from “an anonymous source close to You-Know-Who”.

The phrases “muggle-loving parseltongue”, “Return of the Dark Lord” and his “impending seizure of the Castle” came up in our conversation.

Fudge has threatened everyone in that department with five years in Azkaban for letting any of this get back to you.

I'll let you know if anything else happens.

Please, Dumbledore, Keep Harry, Ron and Hermione safe, and don't say a word.

A W

'What does this mean?' asked Harry, handing the letter back to Dumbledore.

'I don't know,' said Dumbledore, looking worried. 'I just don't know.'

'But, if the Death Eaters are planning to seize the castle!' said Harry frantically.

'Are they?' asked Dumbledore. 'I don't think Voldemort would drop us a line telling us what he was going to do. That strikes me as both unlikely and anomalous.

'I think in fact that he is planning another attack, and is trying to divert our attention. However, we are taking no chances. An extra amount of security spells and wards have been put on the castle, and, I'm afraid, will have to be put on you.

'Which is why I need to know your final decision on what animagus you plan to become. We need to add as many weapons to your arsenal as possible, and waste no time about it! Remus and Sirius are going to give you, Ron and Hermione a lot of tips about safety in a moment, and Professor Janney is going to quicken the pace in your Attack Course. Hagrid is going to start focusing on Dark Creatures more and more in his lessons, and Professor Snape is going to slip small amounts of poisons and Veritaserum into your food at intervals to help you build up a resistance. I think he'll talk to you about that.' Dumbledore's moustache quivered. 'I want you to step up your animagus training sessions from once every three days to once a day. I want you to fill every spare moment you have with learning defensive and offensive techniques. I want you to start going to the Prefects Gymnasium, on the fifteenth floor, daily, and I want you to start jogging every morning. I want you to work on your reflexes so that you are never unprepared.' He paused to breath.

'Harry, a lot of people are dedicating their lives to ensure your survival. Your parents forfeited theirs. We need to keep you and every student in this school alive- you are a source of hope to the wizarding community and the school- your name is revered and you haven't even sat your OWLs!

'I need you to work as hard as you can, Harry. Promise me that- I don't want to be the one who has to tell Arthur Weasley, or Sirius Black, or the Daily Prophet that the Boy Who Lived has become the Boy Who Died. Do you promise to work as hard as you can, Harry?'

'Well, I'm trying not to become big-headed here...'

'Oh, please, we can leave that to Professor Snape!' said Dumbledore, chuckling. 'But, before I take my leave, one last thing- what animal are you going to become, Harry, when you finally become an animagus? Professor McGonagall tells me your coming on fabulously!'

'I don't know,' said Harry. In truth, he hadn't really thought about it. He said the first animal that came into his head. 'I was thinking about becoming a Phoenix?'

Dumbledore looked as if his head would blow off.

'Harry, I shouldn't be biased against dogs or cats or deer and other such mundane animals, but becoming a phoenix would be one of the greatest decisions of your life. If you want to be a phoenix, then I give you my full support. I'll tell Minerva straight away!'

He turned to go, but before he reached the door, it opened.

'Hello?' said Ron's voice.

'Excellent, Mr. Weasley!' cried Dumbledore. 'And Miss Granger! How do you do? I'm afraid I have to run, but I shall see you soon, I expect. Have a good day, and Harry?'

'Yes?'

'Did you know that salt dissolved in pumpkin juice makes for an excellent hangover cure? Imagine that! Well, bye now!' He walked off down the stairs, leaving Harry feeling very uncomfortable.