Harry Potter & The Thousand Mysteries

After a few moments of patiently waiting for the new recruits to arrive, the first years filed into the hall, looking, as Harry had suspected, frightened, nervous and excited, just how he had felt five years ago. Professor McGonagall placed the patched, frayed sorting hat on the three-legged stool, and backed off; to allow it its only moment of glory throughout the year- it's Sorting Song.

Upon the head of every man,

I have proudly sat,

Who, of magic powers can,

Turn beetles into cats,

Many people have often said

They wouldn't have me pry

They wouldn't put me on their head

Not a chance, I'd here them cry!

How very stupid these fools were!

How numpty can you get?

Did they think that I would care,

What or whom they met?

When they were on their holidays

Or on their daddies yacht?

Mais Non Monsieur! Ne pas Madame!

I should certainly think not!

For I can look into your head

I can delve inside your mind,

And when I know what your brain has said,

I'll put you with your kind!

Be you Gryffindor, courageous and brave,

Or Ravenclaw, ever so wise!

Or maybe Hufflepuff, where friends you'll save,

And Slytherin, if you're in disguise!

For these are the Hogwarts Houses,

And I know you'll find them swell

They all are quite exceptional

With their own tale to tell!

So pop me now, atop your head,

I'll have a poke around,

And should I see a thing or two,

I'll make it sweet and sound.

The Hall burst into rapturous applause at the astonishing array of fine quality, high wit and imaginative poetry displayed by this, most meagre-looking of caps.

'That was brilliant,' whispered Parvati to Harry, leaning right up close, so that he could feel her warm breath tickling his ear.

'It was brilliant,' exclaimed Harry.

'Rucherschnorter, Bernd,' called Professor McGonagall, and a small, podgy boy came wobbling up to try on the hat.

'HUFFLEPUFF!' came the reply a few moments later. The Hufflepuff table erupted into applause for their most recent acquisition.

'Farquar, Miranda,' called Professor McGonagall, as another tremulous first year took the stage.

'D'you think that's the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher?' asked Parvati, jolting her head in the direction of a new face, sitting among the ranks of teachers, chatting delicately to Professor Sinistra. She was tall, with wavy reddish hair that hung to her shoulders, and reflected the light of the thousand candles lighting the hall in it. Her skin was tanned; slightly sallow- Harry estimated her to be late thirties to early forties.

The crowd of fifth years sat and chatted all through the Sorting Ceremony, and didn't even realise when the sorting hat proclaimed the last child, 'Dalriada, Andrew,' a Gryffindor.

They fell quiet, however, when the revered Professor Dumbledore stood.

'Make it quick,' said Ron, 'I'm starved!'

Harry snorted, and turned back to Dumbledore.

'I have a sneaking suspicion that many of you are rather hungry, and would prefer that I made my speech after dinner. Am I right?'

A wave of 'YES' and 'here here' swept throughout the hall. Dumbledore chuckled merrily.

'Only at Hogwarts could a Headmaster be dictated to by his pupils.' He wiped his eyes. 'I love it! You have your wish!' With a minute flick of his wand, the golden goblets, plates and platters filled with food.

'All right Dumbledore!' called Ron, and began spooning mashed potatoes onto his plate.

They laughed and ate and talked and ate, until after their third helping of dessert, when the golden dishes finally cleared, and Dumbledore once again rose to his feet.

'Where's Snape?' asked Lavender suddenly.

'Dunno,' answered Hermione.

'There,' said Ron, pointing to an archway in the corner of the hall, where none other than Professor Severus Snape was appearing, from up a flight of stairs.

'Welcome one and all,' said Dumbledore, his blue eyes sparkling like diamonds, even from Harry's distance, 'to yet another year at this fine castle of Hogwarts.

'First, let me bring you up to date with the situation. Our new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher this year is none other than Professor Claudia Janney. She has come over from the American Institute of National Wizardry in Washington D.C. to teach you- I'm sure you'll extend to her the same respect and deference you attach to other members of staff and each other.'

He paused, giving Harry a chance to ask himself what Dumbledore meant by this peculiar statement.

'And this year, back by popular demand, Hogwarts will be hosting not one, but two balls this year.'

Excited cheers from the girls drowned a mumble of groans from the boys.

Dumbledore chuckled merrily once again. 'The first will be a Hallowe'en Ball, which will, ironically enough, be held on Hallowe'en, and the second will be the Yule Ball. The Balls will only be open to those above third year, and members from Beauxbatons and Durmstrang will be in attendance.

'Our new Head Girl this year is Alicia Spinnet, of Gryffindor. fame, and her counterpart will be Roger Davies, of Ravenclaw.'

He paused, and began to count his fingers, mumbling to himself.

'Yes, I think that's about it- thank you, ladies and gentlemen, and adieu!'

The crowds began to make their way out of the hall and into the Entrance Hall. The fifth Year Gryffindors, joined by Dean, Seamus, Neville and Ginny, made their way up the marble staircase and up the familiar route to Gryffindor. Tower.

When they entered the tower, it was to find a huddle of First Years crowded in the room. They spotted the Prefect Badges straight away.

'Where do we go?' cried a small boy, with a shock of red hair.

'Where's my stuff?' asked a girl of Harry, her black hair tied into braids.

'How do I sleep?' wailed a child, tugging on the back of Ron's robes.

'Excuse us a moment,' said Harry, and the three of them led the first years to their dormitories.

'I want this bed,' said a boy with dirty blond hair to the red-haired boy.

'But look, it's my case at the bottom!' he retorted.

'I'm allergic to cats! I can't sleep in here! Attishoo!' said a boy with mouse-brown hair and a large nose, in between sneezes.

'What the hell is Herbology?' asked another.

'WILL YOU GET OFF MY BED!' screamed the boy with blond hair.

It took Harry and Ron ten minutes to sort out the kafuffle in the dormitory, and when they returned downstairs to the Common Room, they found Hermione, Parvati and Lavender sitting in the armchairs around the fire, the common room otherwise deserted.

'Hi, said Parvati, as Harry sat on the arm of her chair.

'Those first years are awful!' said Ron, as Lavender moved up to let Ron sit beside her.

'Really,' asked Hermione. 'The girls were perfect. Straight to sleep!'

'Oh, piss off,' said Harry, throwing a cushion at her.

At that moment, Alicia entered through the Portrait Hole.

'Mind if I join you?' she asked.

'Sure, Miss Head Girl,' replied Ron. She blushed.

'Oh, shut up.' She sat down on the couch beside Hermione. 'Harry- Quidditch Meeting on Thursday after dinner.'

'Right,' said Harry. 'Who's Captain?'

'Well, nothing official yet, but I think it's going to be Angelina... by default, more than anything else. I'm Head Girl, Katie's going on exchange to Somalia next month, and you're too busy with saving the world.'

'What about Fred or George?'

She looked at him. 'Oh, please.'

The rest of them laughed.

'Well, I'm off to bed,' said Hermione, standing up. 'See you all tomorrow.'

'So am I' said Alicia, heading up off the girls staircase.

'Night, Harry,' said Parvati, patting his leg as she stood up.

'See you tomorrow,' said Harry. They both stood awkwardly for a few minutes, wondering what to do.

'Well, seeya,' said Harry, and headed up the boys staircase. As he walked across the room, he turned around to look at her retreating back.

Harry was crawling into bed; next to Ron's still empty one, when a sudden thought struck him- His Cloak! He'd left it in the Common Room.

He pulled on his red dressing gown, and walked quietly down the stairs. Luckily, there was a red runner going up them, so his feet weren't too cold.

'Sorry, I forgot my...' he said, when he entered the Common Room. Lavender and Ron were kissing again. They obviously weren't being to conservative about it either.

'I'll just get my cloak...' he said quietly, and left the room. They totally ignored him

As he crawled into bed, Neville's resounding snores filling the room, he couldn't help feeling quietly contented. This, he thought, would finally be a year like any other, a normal year. No dragons, or teachers in disguise, or anything like that, just a normal year, like anything else.

Or as normal as it could get, at Hogwarts.

Harry stumbled into the Common Room the next morning to find Ron, Hermione, Fred, George, Ginny, Parvati and Lavender waiting for him. Everyone was laughing at Fred and George's jokes, as Harry tried desperately to do his shirt buttons up under his robes.

'You've put all the wrong ones in the wrong holes, you prat,' said Hermione. 'You'll have to start again.'

So Harry undid all the buttons, and was beginning to do them up again, when Hermione said:

'He's been working all summer, at a Removal Company.'

Harry looked up to see she was talking to Lavender and Parvati, looking at him. Parvati was biting half of her bottom lip, looking wistfully at him. He felt himself go red- he made a mental note never to leave the dorm without being fully dressed ever again.

When they finally made their way to the entrance hall, they had fifteen minutes before classes started, and everyone was too tired to talk anyway, so they simply wolfed down their food in silence.

'Thanks,' said Harry, as Alicia handed him his timetable.

'Aw crap,' he said, his mouth full of food. 'Divination, Transfiguration and Potions on a Monday.'

Ron and Harry both had looks of horror on their faces.

'That's it, I'm leaving,' said Ron.

'When do we get Dark Arts?' asked Hermione, totally ignoring Ron.

'Um, tomorrow, after...' he paused for a minute, perusing the timetable. 'There's a mistake in this,' he said, finally. 'They've missed out break completely on Tuesday and Thursday, and they've only given us twenty minutes for lunch on Wednesday. I'll have to ask McGonagall.'

'Let me see,' said Hermione, snatching it off him. She read it for a moment, and then announced her verdict. 'As I thought. If you had read The OWL Survival Guide, the set book, then you would have known that, different to 1^st, 2^nd, 3^rd and 4^th Years, the teachers who organise the timetable are allowed to give you as many lessons in a day as they think you need, so you can pass the OWL's. This often involves cutting lunch, skipping break, and having a class after dinner.'

'Shitty Shit Shit,' said Ron.

'However,' continued Hermione, 'It also means that you can have free periods during the week. For instance, if you take yours Harry, you don't get break on Tuesdays or Thursdays; you get 20 minutes for Lunch on Wednesday, and a class after dinner on Monday, but you also get first class off on a Wednesday, and your first class on a Friday starts half an hour later than usual.'

She handed his timetable back to him. 'Of course, had you read your materials, you would have known that.'

'Hermione...' he said warningly. 'I've got Trelawney to contend with in two minutes, after that, I've got McGonagall, and then Snape. I'm not in the right mood.'

'You men are never in the right mood.'

Ron and Harry looked shocked at this from Hermione, while Parvati and Lavender just laughed. 'You got it, sister,' said Parvati, as the bell boomed across the entrance hall.

'We missed the post, you were that late, Harry!' said Ron.

'Deal with it,' said Harry, and they headed off fro an hour with the esteemed Professor Trelawney. What joy!