Harry Potter & The Thousand Mysteries

'Okay,' said Mrs Weasley, as she desperately tried to organise Harry, Hermione, Fred, George, Ginny and Ron into two Muggle taxis. This was no mean feat, considering there were two owls, hooting madly, an angrily spitting cat, Fred's box of five Salamanders and George's bright orange terrapin, which emitted purple sparks every twenty seconds. 'Harry, Ron and Hermione, you're in this one. Ron? Ro-on! Where's Ron? Have you seen Ron, Fred? ... Ron! There you are! You're in this one. Have you got Pigwidgeon with you? Good. Right, in you get. Wait! Don't forget to give your old mum a kiss. Mmm-wa! See you at Christmas, petal. Bye now, Harry dear, it was lovely to see you again. And you too, Hermione!

'Fred, for goodness sake, you've got a bit of dirt on your chin. C'mere and I'll get it... hold still! There! Right in you get...'

She was trying to enforce some organization in the rabble that was Fed, George and Ginny when Harry, Ron and Hermione's taxi pulled away.

When they reached King's Cross, they tried to surreptitiously cross the magical barrier in between platforms 9 and 10, which allowed access to Platform 9 & ¾. This was not as easy at it might have seemed, however, as three young people dressed in cloaks and carrying owls tended to raise a lot of curiosity. They were accosted by a shrunken old muggle, his war medals swinging from his lapel, his cane in hand as he shook it at them, as they crossed the floor of the station.

'Young People these days,' he grouched as he walked up to them. 'They don't know how lucky they are! What with all these new fashion trends.' He spat this word out as if it were some kind of unwanted mucus membrane that had become lodged in his head cavity. 'I suppose these owls are they latest things, are they? Your parents went right out and bought you them, I suppose? Yes, I thought they would've...'

'Please,' said Hermione gently. 'We have an engagement.' She tried to sidle past the cantankerous old man, but this was a near impossibility.

'Just you wait there a moment, missy,' he said. Oh great, said Harry, just what we need- the geriatric muggle answer to Snape. 'Back in my day young ladies used to address gentlemen as 'Sir'. Of course, that's died out now,' he continued on, 'just like the good old empire. What it takes to find a bit of class these days. It's the parents; in my opinion- they're as bad as the children! I'll bet your mummy rushed straight out to buy you those cloaks! Did she put her foot down, like any decent woman in my day would've? No! Of course she didn't! I always say...'

Harry had had enough, however.

'It'd be rather difficult for my mother to put her foot down, sir. You see, she died fourteen years ago.'

'Oh. It must've been your father then,' he said, patronizingly.

'He died with her.'

'As I suspected!' he pronounced. 'I always say...'

'I don't really give two flying fucks what you say, so if you don't mind, I've a train to catch,' said Harry, looking down at the crotchety old man, and turned on his heel.

'Poor old soul,' said Hermione. 'What a shame.''

'What a shame?' repeated Ron in disbelief. 'Did you here what he said?'

Ron and Hermione continued to argue about the poor old man / fucking geriatric fascist all the way onto Platform 9 & ¾

They waited among the crowd of students and their families, and before long Mrs Weasley came bustling up to them, planting large kisses on each of their faces.

'Try and have a normal year, Harry,' she said, as she smoothed his hair. 'Don't give me anything else to worry about! C'mere!' She threw her arms around him and gave him a big hug. When they withdrew, Harry felt nostalgic and jealous of Ron- a mother's hug was something he could never have.

'And Ron, my little prefect... you're not so little any more, are you.'

Slowly but surely, Mrs Weasleys' eyes began to brim with water, and her face softened.

'And for heavens sakes stay out of trouble this year, you two,' she said to the twins, her eyes bloodshot and her voice somewhat throaty.

They climbed aboard, and deposited their trunks in a compartment, before leaning out the window to talk to her.

'Don't you three waste time talking to me,' she said, as she clutched her handkerchief in her hand, 'they'll be wanting you in the prefects carriage. Shoo, now, off you go! Have a good year!'

They bade their good-byes to her and the three began to make their way along the corridors of the Hogwarts Express, where they had forged the strongest friendship of their lives five years ago to the date.

They were nearing the front of the train, when Ron, who was leading them, walked headlong into Draco Malfoy.

'Oh, it's you,' he sneered. 'Father's just helping me with my stuff. I see you've bought secondhand robes, Weasley. Bit shabby for a Prefect, isn't it?'

Behind him, Crabbe and Goyle chortled brainlessly, while his father looked proud, standing behind them, surveying his vile offspring.

'At least it shows,' said Hermione calmly, 'that he didn't have to buy himself a Prefects' Badge, unlike some of us.' She looked directly at Mr. Malfoy, who looked as furious as his son at being outwitted by a Mudblood.

They both spluttered, trying to find something to say to trump this insult, and when it became blindingly obvious that neither of them could manage this, Mr. Malfoy instructed Draco to make his way down to the Prefect's compartment.

'We must follow daddy's orders,' said Harry quietly as he walked passed them.

'Excellent, Hermione,' said Ron, slapping her on the back.

'I have the feeling we've got an interesting year ahead of us,' she said, as she opened the door to the Prefects Carriage.

'I think that translates as- oh good, exams!' said Ron to Harry, earning him a slap on the arm from Hermione.

The Prefects Carriage was noticeably grander than the rest of the train- there were small tables, set for four, at the bottom half of the room, and at the top half was a stage, with a table at the top, draped with the Hogwarts emblem on a field of black.

'Ah, the new Gryffindor Prefects,' said a familiar voice behind them, and they turned around to see Professor Dumbledore smiling cheerily at them. 'Congratulations, Congratulations, a very fine achievement. The ceremony will begin in about five minutes, I believe. Did you all have an enjoyable summer?

The three of them stood chatting to Dumbledore for five minutes or so, until Professor McGonagall appeared on the stage, clearing her throat audibly.

'I believe that's my queue,' said Dumbledore, smiling, and slipping off up to the front of the carriage.

'If you would take your seats, ladies and gentlemen,' she said, in her usual clear, crisp manner- not rude, not polite: simply authoritative.

'Ladies and Gentlemen, Professor Albus Dumbledore.'

There was a polite scattering of applause as Professor Dumbledore took the stage.

'Good morning, family, friends and acquaintances, and welcome to yet another Hogwarts Prefect Initiation Ceremony. I shouldn't wish to bore you,' he paused, as the train jolted into life and started moving along the tracks towards Hogwarts. 'I shouldn't wish to bore you,' he repeated, 'with a long speech about the responsibilities of Prefects or the importance of them at our school. Twenty three of previous Hogwarts prefects this century have went on to become Minister of Magic- and two have become Head of the International Confederation of Wizards: This record speaks for itself.

'But let us hasten ever onwards, and start the initiation. This year, the three Gryffindor Prefects will be Hermione Granger, Ronald Weasley, and Harry Potter. Please come and collect your badges,' he said, as the room applauded them. Every new Prefect got a small black badge with the word PREFECT written in gold across it, and a handshake from Dumbledore.

When the ceremony was finished, Professor McGonagall said a few words about the start of term arrangements, and then the room descended into a babble of chitter and chatter.

After talking to different people for about ten minutes, Harry, Ron and Hermione made their excuses, saying that they had to speak to some people in their compartment, and left.

'Hello, Harry,' said Parvati when she and Lavender dropped by to visit them in their compartment. Parvati seemed to be very interested in Harry, while Lavender was equally interested in Ron. The only difference was, that while Harry was acting normally towards Parvati, despite her *advances*, Ron was not acting normally towards Lavender.

When the lunch lady and her trolley came round, Ron offered to buy Lavender some chocolate frogs, and when they had finished, she lay across his lap for a nap. This didn't seem to bother Ron very much.

Hermione was not entirely deprived of attention, however, during the trip- David Drake, the Ravenclaw Prefect, and Neville kept her occupied. When Harry and Ron quizzed her about this, she snapped waspishly back, 'At least they're not neo-Trelawneys!'

When the train ground to a halt, at Hogsmeade Station, Harry, Ron and Hermione joined the throng clamouring in the corridors to get out onto the platform. Ron and Lavender, Harry noticed, were coincidentally pressed up next to each other. Parvati was also pressing on Harry, and she seemed to be enjoying it- Harry wasn't quite sure whether or not he was meant to enjoy this, but, in his heart of hearts, he sure as hell knew he was.

'Alright, Harry,' crowed Colin Creevy, the now-fourth year student who had always been a great admirers or Harry's.

'Alright, Colin,' replied Harry monotonously.

'Harry, you're sitting your exams this year, Harry, aren't you?'

'Thanks for reminding me,' said Harry in the same dull voice that seemed to excite Colin so.

'Who's that freak?' whispered Parvati in his ear.

'Just some fourth year,' said Harry. 'C'mon, the doors are open.'

A sea of students were spilling out onto the platform, and towards the hundred horseless carriages, their steed that would transport them up towards the magnificent castle.

Hermione, David Drake, Neville and Ginny all clambered into one carriage- Hermione shot Harry and Ron a look of anguish as the door snapped shut- so Harry, Ron, Parvati and Lavender climbed into the one behind. A light drizzle of rain began to fall from the dark grey sky above, onto the procession of carriages, which lurched forwards all at once, their lanterns illuminating the ground around them like some kind off translucent snake.

As they turned the corner, the fantastical sight of Hogwarts Castle drew into view; Harry felt the breath catch in his windpipe. This is how soldiers must feel, he thought to himself, returning from moths away at sea or at war in some distant land. That's what the Dursleys and Aunt Marge were like for Harry- a distant land, or moon.

'It's beautiful, isn't it,' whispered Parvati in wonderment, the castle windows reflected in her liquid-looking rich, chocolate brown eyes.

'Mmm,' murmured Harry in agreement, as he leaned over her to get a better look out the window. 'Home at last.'

He leaned backwards, and almost cried out when he saw what Ron and Lavender were up to. She had her arms round his neck, his arms were wrapped around her waist, and they were kissing- properly kissing, eyes closed, oblivious to the childish sniggers of Harry and Parvati.

'Ssh, you'll disturb them,' whispered Parvati through her giggles, her eyes wide with merriment.

'They look pretty focused to me,' he whispered back, and they both dissolved into further fits of giggles, clinging to each other to stop themselves from falling on the floor.

As the carriages lurched once more into stoppage, Ron and Lavender broke apart. Neither of them seemed remotely abashed, and climbed up the stone steps to the great oaken doors which led to the entrance hall hand-in-hand.

They were standing, Harry, Parvati, Hermione, Neville, Ginny, David Drake, Ron and Lavender, huddled together, their cloaks wrapped tightly around them, when the huge doors were thrown open, flooding them with a warm, fiery glow and light from the entrance hall, with Professor McGonagall, as ever, in her emerald green sorting robes, who led them in, through the gargantuan entrance hall and into the cavernous Great Hall.

The students filed in, and sat at their house tables. Parvati was sitting beside Harry, who was sitting beside Hermione, who was sitting beside Ron, who was sitting (very closely) beside Lavender. They waited in silence for the imminent ceremony.