Unusual Beginnings

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UNUSUAL BEGINNINGS 06- A MINUTE OF YOUR TIME

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"...If we could just slow down enough
To consider what's true and real,
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger,
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we've never loved before..."

~Poem: "How Do You Live Your Dash?" by Linda Ellis

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July 20 1988, Thursday

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Redvin had grown quite annoyed at how Ben always paraded his daughter and how he thought Raine was far less superior compared to Tali, in physical beauty, height, and social graces. Tali had the hazel eyes, the long reddish brown hair and the prettier face. Raine, on the other hand, had changed, Red noticed, the day that the Poena charms were made. She used to have the elegant curly black hair, which she'd inherited from him and the adorable baby face. After the talismans, her face had gotten bony (probably due to depression and fear since Red used the talisman on her all the time), her eyes became darker and more deep set, and the curls in her hair had straightened and the midnight black color became a lighter shade of brown. This made Red hate her more, especially since she was beginning to look like her mother.

Raine was also a wild child, uncontrollable, and wanted everything done her way. Red knew she never listened to anyone, didn't care what anyone thought about her nor gave a damn about anybody else. He also thought that all she cared for were her friends and no one else. Little did he know that Raine loved him and was only rebellious, because it was her nature and was built into her genes, like how he was in his younger years. But Redvin didn't think about that. He was jealous at Ben and annoyed that he was showing-off. These feelings of anger were channeled as irritation towards Raine, instead of Ben, though no fault of her own sometimes. But Raine's stubborn tendencies did not help Red's already short tolerance towards anything.

That morning, Raine was learning lessons Redvin personally tried to teach her. All of a sudden, Raine shuddered, took a cloak from the back of her chair and wore it over her already layered clothing. She sneezed a couple of times and went back to reading a 'Simple Potions' book her father bought for her in Knockturn Alley a few weeks ago.

Red looked up from reading the Daily Prophet and noticed this. He realized that he had used Raine's powers on a few small spells the night before and so she looked more sickly than usual.

"How are you feeling, child?" he asked indifferently.

With her innocent voice she answered, "Sick. Ruddy. Crappy. Shitty."

"You watch your language, Raine!"

"I heard some of the Death Eaters say it," she argued.

"Don't use that language."

Red saw Raine nod her head so he went back to his daily amount of news. But Raine did not go back to her lessons. Instead stared at him and decided to answer back before continuing with her lessons.

"Fine," she said angrily. "Then if you don't want me talking like them, don't bring me to those stupid meetings and stop bringing them into the house."

Red was furious at his daughter's attempts to answer back at him in such manner.

"What did you say, child?" he yelled, ready to slap her cheek.

"If you don't want me talking like the Death Eaters, then don't get them near me."

Red wanted to hit her right then and there but he decided not to even bother hitting or yelling at her because she wouldn't have listened anyway.

"Get back to your lessons, Raine."

"You do know I am done. I am eight, but I can read faster than you think."

Raine laid the quill back beside the inkbottle as she started to stand up. Red held his hand out and motioned her to stop.

"You still have thirty minutes to go."

"But I've read the book and wrote all my papers."

"Read it again."

"I've read it twice already."

"Then again!"

Red went back to the Prophet while Raine read the book yet again. Raine had grown tired of looking at that certain page in the book and she began to zone out and glance around the room. Only a minute later, Red stood up and slapped her cheek.

"What did I say, you stupid girl?" he yelled furiously. "Get back to your lessons."

Raine nodded her head and did what she was told. She tried to hold back the tears that needed to burst out but instead she choked it in with sniffles.

Red hated hearing Raine cry. He hated the fact that her name played well with her dramatic nature. 'Rain', tears. It ticked him off completely. And for her trying to hide that she was about to cry was getting on his very nerves.

"What are you crying for? Finish your lessons."

Raine continued to write another page of work, not even bothering to look up before handing her lesson papers to him. He merely got a glance at it and already he criticized.

"You misspelled 'Potions'."

"Sorry, Father," she cried apologetically. "I promise I'll do better next time."

"Ugh! I can't stand your stupid mistakes!"

Red tossed the paper into the air and then magically burned them to dust before they'd reached the ground. In Raine's young mind, hearing the word "stupid" meant it was an insult directed towards her. She thought her father meant she was stupid. In her eyes, the burning of the papers she had worked so hard on was hatred towards her. At that moment, she felt useless and ashamed, although she knew her intelligence and knowledge were beyond those of the other Death Eater's children, even those three years older than her. She knew terms that were used as spells, although she couldn't perform them yet since she did not have a wand. She knew some potions, simple potions, but she knew more than the other children her age. But that didn't matter to her father. All that mattered to him was her mistakes, not accomplishments. All Raine could do at this time was to stare at her father, not knowing about the insults that were about to come.

"Don't be stupid, Raine," her father answered with a very austere voice, looking straight into her eyes. "You're lessons are done. Pack your things and get out of my office. Then you can go ask your mother to take you to the Malfoy's or to Tali's. Move it!"

The already crying girl packed her things as quickly as she could, but certainly not fast enough for Red.

"What the bloody hell are you crying about?" he screamed into her ears. "Your stupid mistakes? Well, if you use your brain more, then you wouldn't have to worry about mistakes!"

Raine just looked at him, her lips quivered, as tears streamed down from her already red eyes. She knew she had done something wrong, a little mistake, but she didn't think it was that serious. She stormed out of the room, wiping her tears with her tiny hands. When she reached a table in the hallway a few feet from the door she had just left, she took out a piece of parchment paper from her bag and wrote a note. She left her bag on the table and went back into room with the note. She ran into her father's arms and raised both her arms, as if asking for a hug. But Redvin felt more disgusted rather than loved by Raine's show of affections. He yelled at her again.

"Can't you see I'm reading here?"

Raine lowered her arms, feeling that she had failed in her last attempt to gain her father's respect and love that day, or ever. She walked away as his father went back to burying his nose in between the pages of the Daily Prophet. She then left the note in between the papers on his table and ran out the door, bawling hysterically. Red just rolled his eyes.

"Damn crybaby," he mumbled to himself.

He was searching for a specific section in the papers when he came across the note. It said, in perfect English spelling and Grammar, in Raine's calligraphic writing:

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Father,

I am sorry that I am not intelligent for you, Father. I am sorry that you hate me because I am stupid. But I still love you. And I'm sorry that you don't love me at all.

Loving You Always,

Raine

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Red was left speechless as he touched the spot where Raine's tears might have dropped while she was writing the letter. He ran out of the room in search of his daughter. Red searched for her all over the house and when he heard her cries as he passed by her room, he went inside, not even bothering to knock. She was on her bed, lying on her stomach and crying into her pillow.

"Raine, stop crying."

Raine punched and kicked the bed while continuing to cry and rant.

"I hate you. I hate you." And with a loud, glass breaking shriek. "Aah!"

"Stop screaming, Raine." Red had begun to touch the talisman. Raine continued crying and ranting. "Raine, get up. Raine shut up already!!"

Red, annoyed by her wailing, grabbed Raine's arms and made her sit up. She would not look him in the eye and rather looked down at his feet.

"Raine, if I ask you to do something, you do it!"

Only then did she look up to him, to scream in his face.

"Or what? You hurt me again?"

"Do not make me do it again, Raine."

"Kill me then! Kill me like you killed all those people! Kill me!"

"How did you... I didn't..."

"Cat got your tongue?"

"Don't use stupid Muggle language on me, Raine."

"What, you too stupid even for Muggle speech father?"

Red had struck her right cheek and shook her hard again.

"Don't you dare speak to me like that!"

"Why shouldn't I?"

"Because I'm your father!"

"Then start acting like one! Kill me if you want to! I am no longer scared of you or death!"

Raine had run out the door, into the halls and straight into the living room. She sat by the fireplace when she saw a painted family portrait of her family hanging over the fireplace. She started to climb up towards it when Tali yelled from outside the living room door.

"Hey! Where is everybody?"

Tali heard a rattling sound from the living room, and she decided to see who was making the noise. Raine was grabbed onto the painting, pulled it down and tossed it on the floor.

"What are you doing?"

Raine started to climb down, panting every step she took and jumped on the painting before tearing off the frame and ripping the painting itself

"This will get this place a lot warmer!" She then threw the frame into the flames, followed by the torn pieces of the painting. This made Tali's eyes widen and jaw drop.

"Raine, stop it!" she ordered as she grabbed Raine's arm. Raine yanked herself out of her cousin's clutches before heading over towards the bookcase. She pulled down a whole line of picture albums, and took out a few pictures.

"Yeah!" she said happily as she tore up pictures that had her and her father in it, and piled the pieces right by her feet.

"I said stop it!" screamed Tali, her voice cracking in fear. "Please, Raine. Your father's going to get mad."

"Cry all you like! I'm not going to stop!"

Raine tossed more pictures into the fire as Tali ran out of the room, scared out of her wits. [Try to avoid using "scared out of her wits". Change it to something else, if you can ;)] Raine threw more pictures and even whole books and photo albums into the crackling flame, only to stop when a photograph fell out of one of the photo albums. She stooped down to glance at it.

The picture was old and when she looked closely, she realized it was a picture of her, her mother and her father. She was only about a year old in the picture and her father carried her on his shoulders. The picture was black and white and a little blurry, somewhat dingy and had turned into sepia because of age, but she didn't care. All she noticed was that the people in the photograph seemed happy. She concluded that the photo was taken in the summer, since her father was wearing a short-sleeved shirt and, when her focus traveled to his burly arms, she noticed that didn't have his Dark Mark.

The man she was looking at didn't seem cold and cruel like her father nowadays. The man she was looking at seemed warm, caring and loving. It looked like he adored the baby he was holding, the complete opposite of how Redvin had acted that morning or during the whole time that Raine had been conscious of her surroundings.

"Why couldn't it always be like this?" she asked herself. "You don't look half bad in this picture, Father. You weren't so evil then." A tear fell on the picture and she wiped it off as she sniffled. "You had to follow Him, didn't you? Why dad? I hate you! I hate you!!!"

Raine folded the picture placed it in her pocket before she ran towards the fireplace, carrying all the photo albums she possibly could. She tossed everything into the burning fire. Her chest was already heaving from too much crying, and she enjoyed hearing the crackling sound of papers burning as she saw her father enter the room. Red looked devastated by what Raine had done and held his chest in shock.

"Raine! What the hell are you doing?"

When Raine thought that Redvin was about to use the talisman again, she ran past him and out into the halls. She didn't want her father to use the talisman on her again. She'd decided to end his control over her life. As she continued to run from her father, who was a few meters away, she saw an open window and she began to climb it. She obviously wanted to jump.

"Raine!!! No!!!"

Red watched her go up from a few feet away and he caught up with her, only moments after she had one leg out the window. Red pulled her back in just in time but she struggled to get back up the window.

"Let me go! Let me go!" she screamed, her hand grasping the windowpanes. "Let me go!!!"

Red successfully pulled her away from the window, and carried the struggling child into the halls. Raine continued to cry and still tried to get away from him.

"Let me go! I wanna die, I wanna die!!! Let me jump, get it over with. Please!!! Stop!!! Aah!!!"

She screamed as she grabbed the talisman and pulled it right from neck. She was about to throw it on the floor but Red grabbed her hand and held her closer so that she could not move, forcing her to cry right on her chest.

"No, Raine!" he exclaimed, his eyes forming tears. "You are not telling me, this Raine. No! I do not want you to die. Please baby, stop! Please! Shh! Raine, Raine. It's okay honey." Red took the talisman from her hand, carried her in his arms massaged her back but Raine only continued to cry harder on his shoulders.

"Why do you hate me so much?" she shrilled. "What did I ever do that makes you want to hurt me? Why daddy? Why?"

Redvin let her down, wiped the tears in his eyes and held on to Raine's shoulders as he looked straight into her eyes.

"I need you to listen to me, Raine. Listen, and listen well. You know what happened to those who betray the Dark Lord, right?"

"You kill them, you murderer!"

"He's too strong, Raine. No matter how much you use your words or intellect, you will not be able to stop him. You can learn everything you have to, you can put every spell and charm to protect yourself, but He will still get you. The Dark Lord is that strong. You have to learn your place, as his follower. On this path of becoming his follower, you have to prove that you can follow your Uncles and me. Is that understood?"

Raine shook her head.

"I don't want to be anyone's follower, father. I want to be me."

"You belong to him, Raine," he continued. "You know that. You are his follower. You will be his follower. "

"No!"

"You will be his follower. You know you won't win this debate. Ever. If you refuse, I don't even want to know what he'll do to you. If I have to hurt you, Raine, I will, especially if it's the only way to make you listen to me. If it's the only way that you will learn your place, I will."

"Please, don't hurt me anymore, father, please?" she was crying again, hugging him. "Please? Make it stop."

"I can't. I'll try. If you promise to follow what I say from now on."

"I'll try."

"That's my girl."

Red carried her over to a couch. He sat her on his lap as he wiped the tears in her eyes and outlined her face with his hand.

"Time will come when you will come into power with his help. Just be patient. In due time, when you are old enough, I won't have to tell you what to do anymore. You will be all powerful. You will be the one giving orders. Everybody will bow before your presence. You will be the boss, the Master, right beside Lord Voldemort. But before this happens, you will have to listen to what I say because I will teach you how to become what our Master is expecting of you. And you will soon learn to be like Him. And the only way for you to learn to follow Him is after you learn to listen to what He says. Is that understood? I have to punish you because you are out of control."

"So are you. I already finished my lesson and I only wanted to have more time to play. I didn't mean to be annoying."

"I know. I am sorry, love." Red kissed both her cheeks and her forehead. "And I promise to control my temper from now on. I won't hurt you. But if I have to, I will."

Raine moved closer to her father, placed an arm around her father's neck, before kissing his cheek.

"Yes, father. I understand. I am sorry about the paintings and the pictures."

"It's alright. That can easily be fixed. I can't fix a broken daughter."

"Too late about that."

"Tell you what. You can come with me when I go to Diagon Alley tomorrow. I will get you anything you want ok?"

Raine nodded her head but she still looked upset.

"Okay. Now, let's go talk to your cousin, alright? She seemed to be frightened by your little episode."

"Yes, father."

Redvin carried Raine on his back as he waddled with her to find her cousin.

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Tali was surprised that day, when Raine and her father came over her house. She had known that Raine was fighting with him earlier and she was happy that they resolved it. They started to play and horsed around all day and much to her surprise, the two didn't argue.

She knew that Raine and Redvin had been famous for their hour-long arguments and she knew that those things happen everyday, all day long. She was happy that they started to get along better. She had never seen Raine play with her father, nor had she seen Raine smile all day long. When they left for dinner, she felt alone and wished that her father was home that day also.

Her father had been working long hours and he had not been home for the longest time. Benjamin worked in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures and well, the creatures of the Wizarding world decided to be difficult and cause chaos. The only time she had spent with him for the past few months were during breakfast and sometimes during dinner. But she felt that wasn't enough.

That night, Tali waited by the mansion doorsteps for her father to come home. It was already dark and she was already hungry when Benjamin came home. She greeted him and he kissed back, but Ben was obviously exhausted from the deep sighs he huffed as he walked. Tali helped him carry his bag into the sitting room before making him sit down on the couch with her for a few minutes. Ben didn't agree on it at first, but Tali insisted. He plopped himself on his lounger and let Tali sit on an ottoman in front of him.

"Father?" she asked as she itched her nose.

"Uh huh?"

"May I ask you a question?"

"Yeah, sure, what is it?" said Ben as he unfastened the top buttons of his shirt.

"How much do you make an hour?"

Ben was somewhat surprised by her question.

"That's none of your business, Tali," said Ben angrily. "Why would you ask such a thing?"

Tali shrugged her shoulder. But she still pleaded.

"I just want to know. Please tell me? How much do you make an hour?"

"Let's see what your mother made for dinner first."

Ben led Tali into the dining room. The silverware was there but the plates and serving trays were empty. Nell walked into the room and gave her husband a kiss on the cheek before they sat down. The moment they sat down, succulent-looking (and smelling) food appeared on the plates and serving trays.

Half-way through the main course, Tali continued with her unanswered question.

"You never answered my question, father. How much do you make an hour?"

"If you must know," said Ben as he out his fork down and entwined his fingers. "I make 20 galleons an hour."

"Oh," Tali replied, with her head down. She looked up again and said, "Father, may I please borrow 10 galleons?" Ben suddenly stood up, outraged by Tali's question.

"If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you can march yourself straight up to your room. Think about why you are being so selfish. I work long hard hours everyday and I don't have time for this childish behavior."

Tali's eyes suddenly filled with tears as she excused herself back to her room. But she didn't cry about what had just happened. She was just upset and confused that her father thought she was selfish. She just wanted to spend time with him. She headed to her large closet and picked her favorite pair of light green pajamas. It had little black cats and fishbone design to it. She put them on and climbed into bed. But after deciding that she couldn't sleep so she went over to her bedside table and started to count the galleons in her piggy bank.

*****

Ben was in the sitting room, smoking his cigars, still angry about his little girl's questions.

How dare she ask such questions only to get some money' he thought to himself. Doesn't she know, even with the wealth that Lord Voldemort had given us, it was hard to keep a job? After about a few minutes, Ben had calmed down and concluded that he'd been a hard on Tali. Maybe there was something she really needed to buy with those ten galleons, he told himself. She really didn't ask for money very often anyway. And if she does, it's only for special occasions.

Ben decided to talk to her so he ordered a house elf to get him a plate of chocolate chip cheesecake before heading over to Tali's room.

He knocked and asked, "Tali? Are you awake?" before entering the room.

"Yes," she answered back from behind the close doors.

"Can you open your door for me?"

"Give me a minute!" Her answer was followed by rumpling of papers, clinking, and things dropping. Seconds later, Tali opened the door for him. She headed back towards her bed, not looking him in the eye, her head hanging.

Ben sat beside her and handed her the cheesecake.

"I am sorry I got mad at you so soon."

Tali placed the plate on her lap and took a forkful of cheesecake before looking up at her father.

"I am sorry to have asked such questions, father."

"It's not your fault. It's okay to wonder once in a while." He paused before speaking again. "I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier. It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you." Ben took his money bag from his belt, counted some money and held it out to his daughter's palm. "Since you've been a good girl this week, here are the 10 galleons you were asking for."

"Oh, thank you daddy!" exclaimed Tali as she placed her plate on her bedside table. While doing so, she accidentally toppled her piggy bank and it cracked on the floor. She jumped off the bed and knelt beside it, taking all the galleons she saved up from the rubble of the porcelain piggy bank. Ben, noticing there is a hefty enough amount of money (for a little girl, of course), got upset again.

"Tali!" he yelled. "I thought you needed money. Why do you want more money if you already have some?" her father grumbled.

Tali, not paying attention, started to count the money. She then looked up at her father.

"Because I didn't have enough, Father. But now I do."

"What are you planning to buy, Tali? More toys? More candy? More..." but he was abruptly stopped when his little girl handed back the money he gave her and the money from her bank.

"Father, I have twenty now!!! Can I buy an hour of your time?"

Ben was speechless. "What... I..."

"You said they pay you twenty galleons an hour. I have twenty galleons now. I want to buy an hour with you!"

Ben hugged Tali hard, all his frustration from today, or ever, gone in one instant.

"Oh Tali," he said sweetly as he hugged her more. "I am so sorry I haven't spent time with you."

"I miss you, father. The only time I get to see you is during breakfast, the weekends and if I am lucky, dinnertime. Please come home early tomorrow."

"Why don't I play hooky tomorrow and I'll play with you or something?"

"Oh really?" shouted Tali as she jumped up. "Thank you father! Tomorrow, I would like to play with you like Raine played with Uncle Red."

Ben was suddenly confused.

"What?"

"They were here today. You wouldn't believe it, father. They were laughing. No fighting, no nothing. They were laughing so hard and they were playing with me."

Ben touched her forehead and did not feel any signs of fever. He raised an eyebrow and rethought what Tali had just said.

"Tali, you did say 'Raine and Uncle Red' right?"

"Yes!!!"

"Your Uncle Redvin?"

"Yes."

"And Raine? Lorraine? Lorraine Raven and Redvin Raven."

"Father!"

"It's just... wow. They were really playing with you?"

"Yes. They fought early in the morning but they were fine. They came over and played with here with me." Tali's eyes glowed as if she just remembered something. "Uncle Red said he and Raine were going to go to Hogsmeade tomorrow! Can we go with them? Can we?"

"Sure. As long as they don't mind if we come."

"They wouldn't! Father-daughter day."

"Yep."

"Finally! You two are finally spending time with Raine and I."

"Uh huh."

"But not just this once, right?"

"Not just this once. I promise."

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