On Borrowed Time

On Borrowed Time

Chapter 8 - A Jinx in a Kiss (Friday October 18, 1996)

Rumours spread like wildfire around the Gryffindor Common Room about what had happened during Charms Class. The stories ranged from she snogged with him in the halls, to the strangest one yet where the two were supposedly caught doing the deed on top of Professor Snape's desk in the Potions dungeons.

This entire hubbub did not seem to have punctured Harry and Hermione's romance at all. Instead, it somewhat strengthened it and everyone who knew them knew that their relationship was to stay. And not only that, honesty between the two materialized and became stronger ever since Harry had told Hermione everything about his battle with Voldemort.

Since Harry asked Hermione not to talk to Draco with the promise that he will not get jealous as he usually does, she agreed and did what was told of her. His rules seemed lenient enough so she complied readily.

She noticed Draco taking heed whenever he did come across her and Harry. He seemed to be nervous around Harry that he does not even bother to look at Hermione. It seemed that he feared being pulverized to dust if he were to look at Hermione the wrong way. And if they do see each other, their talk was short and abrupt, consisting of a simple exchange of Hello, Goodbye, and sometimes an answer to "how are you doing?" Hermione did not mind this, since she was now back with Harry and he was not mad at her any longer while remaining some contact with Draco. But that was about to change.

One day mid-October, while Hermione was heading for the library to yet again find something she considered light-reading as a bedtime story, she felt her heart skip a beat when Draco appeared by the Mirror of Erised Room.

"Oh goodness, Draco! Don't ever do that. I would die of a heart attack."

"I know. I am sorry. But I really have to talk to you... again."

There was an air of urgency in his voice and thoughts flashed in Hermione's head yet again: Draco's bloody wrists, the vial of poison on his arm and his life-drained face. Hermione did not hesitate talking to him at all. She was too worried about him.

"What's wrong?" she asked nervously. "Draco, please don't tell me you are planning to do anything... rash."

"Can you promise to be honest to me?"

"Draco, what are thinking?"

"Just answer the question."

"I can be honest to you."

"You swear?"

"I swear it on... the relationship between Harry and me."

"Good." he took a deep breath before saying, "Why did you help me that day in Charms class, Hermione? Why did you run to me instead of Harry?"

Hermione was caught off-guard and though she could answer most questions, she was drawing a blank at the moment. She muttered something that even she could not understand. Draco pulled her away from the door and towards the window.

"You promised to be honest."

"I did."

"Then tell me why you did that for me?"

"It just happened, Draco. I don't want to talk about it."

"There's something more to that, and I can prove it."

"Huh? What are you---"

Hermione hushed when Draco placed his finger on her lips. He then slowly pulled her towards him and moved in for a kiss. Taken aback, Hermione froze in his arms. The kiss seemed innocent but was actually passionate. Unknowingly, she kissed him back. Hermione felt as if someone had just lit an extra furnace inches away from them because her whole body was starting to heat up. She was panting furiously, sliding her hands on Draco's arms as she tried to catch her breath in between kisses. When she finally became conscious of what she was doing, she pulled back, pushing Draco away from her.

"Stop it, Draco. Just stop it."

"You kissed back---" he said, shaking his head in surprise. "I knew it."

"You what? Draco, have you gone insane?" she started to wipe her lips. "You just kissed me! What was that for?"

"I knew it. You have feelings for me. You like me."

"I do not like you at all, Draco," she stressed. "Not the way you think I like you."

"Then tell me that that kiss did not mean anything to you."

"That kiss meant nothing to me." She lied but she could not fool the witty Slytherin.

"You are lying! It does mean something to you. Otherwise you would not have kissed back!"

"I did not kiss back. That kiss meant nothing! It just happened because it happened."

"Then why did you not look me in the eye when you said it meant nothing?"

Hermione had never been good with lying, and surely this was one of the times she wish she had the skills to do so.

"You promised you would be honest. You are lying now, Hermione. You're a LIAR!"

The truth hit her like a Bludger hitting a bat at full speed. Inside, she knew he was right. It hurt, but it happened. She came to a realization that she had been lying. She was lying to him, to herself, and to everyone else. She wondered then why she was greatly affected by the sight of Draco half-dead in her arms. Now she knew the reason why: she really had feelings for him. She hated him for the things he used to do yet she loved him for the sweet person that he was in the present.

However, she was definitely not willing to admit it to Draco. She has Harry. She loved Harry, she loves Harry and she is with Harry. But she has similar feelings for Draco too. She was quite unsure if it was true love, whatever it was, but it exists.

His last words rang in her ears light a booming drum, echoing in different tones, yet saying the same undeniable truth that she refused to acknowledge.

Her heart's indecision was tearing her apart. She started to hate to Draco for digging up this deep emotions that she slapped him hard on the cheek. A tear trickled down her cheek as he turned away from him. She regretted her last action very much that she wished she had the Time-Turner to turn back time, even just a few second before the slap. Many other tears followed and all Hermione could do was let it flow out of her eyes and right on Draco's shoulders as she jumped on his arms.

"Stop it, please!" she cried in his ears. "I can't... We just can't---"

"I had been patient enough Hermione. I waited for months... no, years! I have waited for years to be closer to you. My life had been crumbling little by little as my teenage years pass by. And my life came crashing down the second I heard that you and Harry were together. That threw me right over the edge. I never told you, because I know you would be scared, but you are the reason I wanted to die. I thought that this year, I could undo all the bad things I have done to you and your friends and become your friend. If I had no chance to be in your arms, my life would not have any meaning at all.

"When I saw you in there, in that very room, the moonlight shone on you that it made you glow like an angel. I thought you were a blessing, a miracle. You took away what I planned to use to take away my life, without any thought of the danger I could have inflicted on you.

"Then you gave me a chance to change my ways when you stopped me from killing myself. I have been trying to prove everyone wrong and that the real me is not evil. You said you believed me even if no one would. You have given me a new outlook on life and I can never thank you enough for that. I have to ask you one more favour, Hermione: give our relationship of ours a chance. Let me treat you well. Give me a chance to undo my wrongs. I love you, Hermione."

Hermione pushed him away in due surprise.

"No!" she shouted. "You can't talk to me about love like that. No, Draco! I am with Harry."

"Give me a chance," he pleaded on his knees. "Please!"

"No!" She turned then scampered for the door, leaving Draco kneeling where she had left him.

"You know there is something between us," he shouted back at her. "Stop lying to yourself, Hermione! Stop lying to me and to everyone!"

She gave him one last look before closing the door and running straight for the Gryffindor Common Rooms, crying her eyes out for her indecisive heart.