An Alternative Epilogue

And so Harry Potter lived to a ripe old age, became minister for magic and had twelve children

An Alternative Epilogue

"Mr Minister sir, Mr Weasley of the Auror department sent you the second report on the elder wand issue. He assured me, however, that you would not wish the read the full version so I should condense it for you."

Harry rested hid head in his hands. His hair, prematurely grey from stress, was receding badly.

"What did Ron say?" he replied with a sigh.

"Well, to quote Mr Weasley: 'We're in a load of deep trouble here, mate.' The basic proportion of the report is that no, they haven't found it." Harry flicked through the large wad of papers in front of him.

"How did they get that into this many pages?"

"I'm not sure, Minister. Shall I leave you to read the report?"

"Yes, thank you." The secretary left the room and Harry dropped his head onto the desk. Christmas Eve and here he was attempting to trace the movement of the most powerful wand in the world. Of course, no one would be able to use its full potential; he hadn't let himself be disarmed recently.

But it was still dangerous. Especially in the wrong hands.

There was a flash of light and an owl dropped from the air only the desk. Ever so slightly larger than the tennis ball that was its father, Catamara (Known as Cat) rolled to her feet and fixed Harry with her large, dark, reprimanding eyes. He pushed her over again and pulled the small note off its leg.

Harry

Lilly said that nothing you tell her will stop her going to see Scorpius over Christmas. Al and James are still staying at Hogwarts as they say they need to study. I received a Hogwarts toilet seat from Fred yesterday and he promised there would be more to follow. Could you go check on him?

Zanna stopped by yesterday with Brian. He seems like a lovely man, I'm sure you'd like him. I can't wait for Charlie's visit tomorrow. He's promised he'll be bringing Bertha with him from Romania. I can only hope that she isn't a dragon.

It's nice to have Lupin and Star underfoot again though. Lupe aced all his exams, taking after his aunty Hermione. How is Ron these days, by the way?

Will you be coming home for Christmas? It feels like we never see you anymore with all the national emergencies that are going on. Cassie was asking me yesterday when 'dada' was coming back. Joseph's just looking over my shoulder and he says to tell you to remember to put in a good word for him with Ron. His first interview's next Friday and he's so nervous.

Kay sends her love, as do I.

Try to be home for tomorrow, don't work too late.

Ginny

Mia: p.s. hey dad! I got into the Quidditch team! First chaser and backup seeker, how cool is that?

Harry folded the letter with a sigh. How was he supposed to go to Hogwarts and drag his son home kicking and screaming in the middle of everything else he had to do. Not least, finding the wand.

He turned the page over and scribbled a hasty note on the back.

Might be back in time, might not. Huge disaster at the office. Can't pick up Fred (Get Charlie and Bertha to do it!) Say congratulations to Lupin and Mia for me.

Tell Lilly that Scorpius is a big mistake, I'll owl Malfoy with a warning in case anything happens.

I've already sorted Joseph's interview.

Send my love to them all

Harry

He attached it back to Cat's leg and waved a wand, apparating her back to the home and Ginny. The he slumped forwards against the desk again.

Minister for magic with twelve children. What on Earth was I thinking?

He envied Ron so much these days. All his job entailed was the occasional signing of official documents then going home to Hermione and their two (Two! What a wonderfully small number) kids. Plus, whenever he got bored of the office he could just assign himself a nice cushy field assignment.

Still, the public had begged him to take a position in the ministry as soon as he was old enough to lead. Apparently being able to kill one dark wizard was all you needed in the way of qualifications.

There was a soft rapping on the door and he looked up. "Sir," said his secretary quickly. "The headmaster of Hogwarts sent another owl for you. He wants to know what to do when toilet seats start disappearing."

And what gave him the idea that I can run a school any better than he can? I turned down the headmaster post three times, doesn't he remember?

"Tell him I'm sorting it." Well, he could send a letter to Charlie right now. He pulled some parchment forwards and began to consider what to write to his eldest son.

Charlie

Ginny said you were coming back for Christmas, fancy liberating me from the office while you're at it? The elder wand's gone missing and no one's allowed home until they get it back. It's not like anyone can use it though.

He fingered the quill, debating what to write next.

Fred's been taking after his namesake apparently. Could you pick him up on your way home? Ask Al and James if they'll floo back on Christmas day.

Mia got onto the Quidditch team.

If you fancy stopping by, some relief would be appreciated.

All my love

Dad

He folded up the paper and walked across to the cage in which several official eagle owls stood importantly. He opened it and pushed them aside, grabbing Muscovite (Mouse) from the corner. Another of Pig's brood, Mouse was smaller than Cat but more reliable and easy to transport. Harry held out the letter and Mouse gripped it firmly. With a quick spell, Mouse was gone.

Harry turned again to the long report and slowly, despondently, opened it to the first page. The length of the words almost made him fall asleep there and then.

As it was, he fell asleep almost five minutes later after reading the opening sentence at least ten times.

He woke with a start to the sound of tapping at the window. For some strange reason he was reminded of the time in his first summer of Hogwarts when the Weasleys came to rescue him from the burrow. Sitting up slowly and rubbing his eyes, he turned to look at the window.

A tall, ginger haired boy with piercing green eyes waved jovially at him. Clutching on to his waist with a decidedly green face was a smaller boy with dark, messy hair. A tottering pile of... what looked like toilet seats... were strapped on to the back of...

A dragon.

And not just any dragon. His eldest and his most troublemaking son were sitting outside his office window on the back of a Hungarian Horntail. Slightly dazed, Harry stood up and crossed the room, pushing open the window to a blast of cold air.

"Hey dad," said Charlie light-heartedly, tossing his ginger hair. "I would've sent an owl, but Fred seemed to think this way would be more fun."

"We came to liberate you," added Fred. "Then Bertha was jerky and I was sick on big Ben and we weren't sure if the invisibility spells were working so we had to call Simon and get him to call out some obliviators. Then the toilet seats fell into the Thames and Charlie did this really cool spell to get them back."

"Which was important..." said Harry slowly, trying to take in at least a little bit of what was being said.

"Well, yeah, they're George's Christmas present. To remind him of all the good times him and Fred had at Hogwarts. James said it would be okay." He paused, looking in at Harry's office. "Is this where you work?"

"I... ah... yes." He couldn't take his eyes off the dragon. "Are you sure that's safe?"

"What, Bertha?" asked Charlie in surprise. "Safe as houses. Safer than some. Anyway, are you coming for Christmas? We're a bit later than we wanted to be but still. I think James and Al are there already."

"Christmas? I can't, I've got to finish reading this report before morning." He rubbed his eyes again. "Sorry, Charlie."

"Um... dad. See the sun, right there."

"Yes..."

"It is morning. Come on, we have presents to be there for. A family to see."

"I..." The sunlight really was very obvious now you looked at it. "I have to find the elder wand. In the wrong hands it could..."

"It could what? Come on, Dad. You said yourself that no one else could use it." He held out one dark hand.

"Anyway," added Fred happily. "It'll be in the last place you look and you haven't looked there yet so until you do then you won't find it and when you do it'll be in the last place so you won't have to look any more so there."

Harry paused for several moments then gave up trying to decipher that statement. He also gave up trying to protest and climbed onto the window frame. Charlie cheered and hi-fived Fred.

"Told you! He's an old softy really." Harry rolled his eyes and climbed on between his two sons.

This was... bad. Worse than riding a Thestral. Worse than riding a Hippogriff really. The two large leathery wings spread out on either side and the spiked tail reminding him uncomfortably of his last meeting with this type of dragon. His arm hadn't come out of that one very well.

One of the worse hours of Harry's life ever later and they cannoned down onto the lawn of their house. It had once been the Burrow but since then so many extensions had been added to fit the ever-expanding family that it was now casually referred to as the Warren. The thud as they hit the ground must've echoed through the whole house as moments later the lawn seemed to be covered with children exclaiming and cheering. Harry slipped off the dragon's back and was immediately engulfed in a hug with three of his daughters, one of Ron's and a fifth which he could've sworn belonged to George. He pulled back slightly to survey the garden then turned to Charlie Senior who had run forwards, despite his age, to help with Bertha.

"Is it me, or are only some of these children mine? And why are you here?" Charlie Senior just laughed slightly and nodded to where Ginny had strode onto the lawn, cutting an imposing figure in the middle of all the bustle.

"Right surprise party this turned out to be," she shouted with a smile. "There we all were hiding ready to surprise Harry and next thing you've all run out instead." She turned and gave another, more private, smile to Harry. He walked forwards quickly and hugged her hard.

"I missed you," he said softly. She smiled, blushed slightly like she was still twelve, and pushed him away.

"You still haven't met everyone. Zanna's just over there with Brian. He's a muggle you know. My dad's been giving him a right grilling even though he forgets everything as soon as you've told it to him. And, over here." She let him to a small couple. One immediately barreled into him, hugging him warmly. He looked down at a shock of ginger hair.

"Lilly? I thought you were with Scorpius!"

"Um," said the boy who had been beside her, raised a hand in greeting. "Hi. Dad said to say merry Christmas and he hopes you choke on your turkey." The blonde shrugged looking slightly embarrassed. "Lilly thought I should meet you so, here I am."

"He's so cool," enthused Lilly. "Hey, Scorp, have you met my brother Charlie? He's a dragon-tamer." Scorpius gave her an endearing smile.

"You've told me." He held out a hand and she pulled away to take it, a huge smile on her face. Then she had dragged him off towards the dragon. Ginny leaned over and took Harry's hand in hers.

"Don't they make such a sweet couple? Two Ravenclaws together." She started pulling him around again, showing him the new herb garden and the decorations. Several of the gnomes were stomping around in santa hats. "I know," she said when she saw him looking. "It's Star, she has such a way with creatures. I think Charlie's looking at taking her on as an apprentice after her NEWTs. She even beat Lupin in the Care of Magical Creatures OWL. Top marks!"

"Hey, Dad!" Harry turned and saw Al and James running towards him. Al got there first, younger but faster, and flung his arms around Harry's neck.

"There aren't any toilet seats in Hogwarts," said James, hanging back and trying to look cool. "So we had to come back." Harry laughed slightly and pulled James into the hug too.

"You two spend too much of your time at Hogwarts."

"You did," said Al, his standard response to anything.

"That was because I lived with the Dursleys."

"Dudley couldn't come," interrupted James. "He has some huge kick-boxing fight tomorrow. He said to wish him luck though when we saw him last night."

"Harry!" Hermione's familiar voice filled him with joy and he turned to see her. She was holding the hand of two small children. Her own, Cyntha, and another who Harry immediately grabbed and lifted into a tight hug.

"Dada!" cried Cassie joyfully.

"Hey Cass-Cass." He kissed her on the cheek and she giggled.

"Heppy Crismus."

"Heppy Crismus to you too," he replied with a smile. Then he turned back to Ginny. "I believe there are a few I haven't seen yet. Where's Joseph?"

"Pestering Ron I think. You did sort out the interview didn't you?"

"Weeks ago, Ginny."

"Oh good."

"What about Mia and Kay?"

"Oh," she blushed slightly. "They should be here in about..." She glanced at her watch. "Half a minute. Look up." Harry glanced at her in surprise then looked up. After a few moments two specks appeared then glitter started raining down on them.

From two brooms in the sky whooping could be heard and a few moments later the two witches landed on the ground beside Bertha. They both dropped the broom to the ground and ran towards Harry.

"Dad, I made the team!"

"We won all our matches this season!"

"If Kay's ever ill I get to play seeker!"

"She's really good, dad!"

"Kay thinks I'm really good!"

"I caught the snitch in five minutes!"

"I made chaser!"

"I beat your record!"

Then they were on him and anything else they said was muffled by the huge hugs they were giving him and Cassie.

"Over here!" Came Charlie's voice. "Mob him!"

And suddenly twelve odd children with assorted boyfriends, girlfriends, owls, gnomes and dragons were draped around him.

Harry laughed from his cocoon of children and saw Ron and Hermione watching with small smiles on their faces. Hugo standing beside them and Rose in Ron's arms.

Two children, he thought dismissively. Why have two when you can have twelve?

Something poked him in the arm.

"Dada."

He looked around and saw Cassie clutching the most powerful wand in the world.

She laughed and poked him again.