Harry Potter and the Magical Muggle

Chapter 5: Letters, Letters, and More Letters

            Harry heard a distinct taping on his window as he woke from his deep sleep.  As he rolled over, dark red letters of his alarm clock flashed across his brain.  2:11 am.  Ugh!  Tap.  Tap.  Tippy.  Tap.  "Go away…" he muttered sleepily and rolled over again.  The tapping continued.  He sighed.  If he must, he must he guessed.  Slowly Harry got out of bed and made his way over to open the window as seven irate owls flew into his room including his own snowy owl, Hedwig.  Can’t a guy get some sleep?  Harry looked at the owls confused and then the light clicked inside of his head.  My birthday, of course!  Geesh, I can be a bit slow sometimes for someone who is supposed to be so brilliant.  Harry thought as he chided himself in his head.  One of these days, I am going to actually remember my birthday.  Note to self: Remember 16^th birthday next year at least one day before actual event.  Harry chuckled as he reached to relieve the owls of their packages.  That was one thing that Harry admired about himself throughout all the horror and the drama that had become his life, at least he had a sense of humor about things.  That’s what wrong with people who choose to side with the dark.  They are far too serious about daily life.  Think about how much happier the world would be if the evil overlords could enjoy to kick back, relax, and laugh at the daily foibles.  He could imagine their to-do list.  1. Death  2. Destruction  3. Development of a Sense of Humor 4. Domination.  Ah, the 4 D’s to becoming an evil overlord.  What could be simpler?  Distracted amidst his inner monologue, Hedwig hooted to bring him back to the present.  Right.  Presents.  Birthday.  Back on task, Mr. Potter.  He said chuckling to himself.  The two Hogwarts owls looked the most impatient to leave so Harry took their letters, offered them water, and thanked them as they flew out his window.  Harry slit open the envelope and pulled out the parchment.

Dear Mr. Potter,

Please note that the new school year will begin on September the first.  Hogwarts Express will leave from King’s Cross station, platform nine and three-quarters, at eleven o’clock.  Due to recent circumstances, there will be a change in curriculum for fourth years and above.  All effected students will be required to take: Dueling: Defense and Offense, History of the Dark Arts, and Muggle Studies.  Therefore, you will be required to drop at least one, possibly two courses in order to fit these new courses into your schedule for next year.  As of right now your course load is as follows:

Potions

Care of Magical Creatures

Divination

History of Magic

Charms

Defense Against the Dark Arts

Transfiguration

Herbology

It is recommended that you drop History of Magic and/or Divination, however the ultimate decision is yours to make.  Please note that you are not allowed to drop core classes only electives.  Please send a return owl with your decision no later than August 20^th.  A list of books for next year is also enclosed.

Yours Sincerely,

Professor M. McGonagall

Deputy Headmistress

                    Harry almost dropped the letter since he was in so much shock and anger.  Damn it!  Muggle studies.  Damn, damn, damn!  I must have done something awful in my previous life to deserve this hell.  Harry groaned again and was afraid to open his other letters because of the bad news that they could contain.  Great, Aunt Petunia and I three times a week staring at each other for the whole bloody school year.  Oh.  This is going to hell.  Uncomfortable, Prolonged, Educational Hell.  Harry tried to look on the bright side.  Well she can’t ignore me now that she has to teach me.  And at least I get to drop Divination.  Although he began to wonder if he got a fair trade as he opened his second letter from Hogwarts bracing himself for any bad news.

Dear Mr. Potter,

                    I am pleased to inform you that you have selected to be a prefect for the upcoming school year.  You are to be a role model for your fellow students and promote respect for all Hogwarts faculty and staff as well as your peers regardless of their House.  You should encourage everyone to obey the rules set by the Headmaster and report any rule breaking immediately to Professor Dumbledore or your Head of House.  Remember you are second in command behind the teachers.  I know that you will take your duties seriously and bring pride and respect to the Gryffindor House.  Congratulations.  Below is a list of other fifth year prefects and enclosed is your prefect badge.

Gryffindor                        Hermione Granger                Harry Potter

Hufflepuff                         Susan Bones                         Justin Finch-Fletchley

Ravenclaw                         Padma Patil                           Terry Boot

Slytherin                           Millicent Bulstrode               Draco Malfoy

Yours Sincerely,

Professor M. McGonagall

Deputy Headmistress

                    Harry wanted to laugh out loud.  How could they make him a prefect!  "Report any rule-breaking immediately," they can’t be serious.  I break the rules all the time.  Am I supposed to report myself over and over again?  This was the silliest thing he heard.  He took out the prefect badge from the package.  It was silver in the shape of the Hogwarts crest with an etched P in the center.  On the back of the badge was his name engraved Harry James Potter with Gryffindor House sparkling up at him.  Harry was pleased that he was made a prefect like his mother and father before him, if only he could figure out a way around the reporting thing.  Perhaps Sirius would know.  I bet my dad and him got into loads of trouble.  They must have figured something out, either that or spent all their free time in detention.  Chuckling, he picked up the letter and package that Hedwig had brought.

Dear Harry,

                Happy Birthday!  How has your summer been going?  I hope that the Dursleys are treating you well.  You have my number if you ever need anything, right?  Once again Hedwig was marvelous and showed up at my door right when I was beginning to wonder how this was going to get to you in time.  I saw this when I was roaming around Diagon Alley and thought that with enough practice you could give Ron a run for his money.  The exciting feature is that it has a lesson book with an interactive design. (The charms are in the book)  I hope you like it.  I was amazed at the handcraftsmanship.  Sometimes the wizardry world really amazes me.

Curious to see what Hermione had given him, Harry opened the package and then gasped.  It was a chess set, but the most marvelous chess set Harry had ever seen.  He read the label off the box: Pennington’s Professional Chess Set: Magical Creatures Edition Three. Each piece was a different magical creature, charmed to display the behaviors, mannerism, and coloring of the creature they represented.  The knights were hippogriffs, the ponds were electric blue pixies that jabbered strangely, the bishops were basilisks that flicked their forked tongue and stared at him with their large yellow eyes, the rooks were gorgeous Swedish Short-Snout dragons that roared while emitting a tiny brilliant blue flame while the king was a magnificent phoenix that blinked benignly at Harry and the queen was a pure white unicorn with a golden horn in the center of its forehead.  Wow.  Harry was speechless.  Hermione had done it again with the perfect gift; Harry contemplated, thinking back to when she got him the broomstick servicing kit.  She really is an amazing girl, he mused as he turned his attention back to her letter.

                Congratulations on being named prefect.  I had a feeling it would be you.  I am so excited!  I heard that you are able to communicate with other prefects, Head Girl/Head Boy, Dumbledore, and your head of House directing through the badge.  Isn’t that exciting?  It will be like a wearable walkie-talkie.  I can’t wait to try it out as soon as we get to Hogwarts.  Ron hasn’t heard the news about you being named prefect and I figured you would want to tell him so I conveniently left that out in my most recent letter to him.

                I also have been looking in the Daily Prophet for any news of You-Know-Who’s return but so far it has been quiet.  Either that or Fudge is playing Mr. Censorship again.  It is hard to tell.  Has your scar hurt at all?  Anything strange happen of late?  Ron has been surprisingly quiet.  He has only written to me four times this summer.  I think I should feel hurt.  I am assuming that he is just too busy to write to one of his best friends.  Honestly, where are his priorities!  Well, I don’t want to put you in the middle of yet again another one of our fights so I will bid adieu. Oh, I was going to be in Diagon Alley on the last day of summer, could you meet me there?  That way we can get our books and supplies and have a chance to catch up.  I have already owled Ron and he said he could make it.  If not, I will see you on the Hogwarts Express.  Once again Happy Birthday and Congrats.

Love from,

Hermione

                    Harry groaned.  He had forgotten that Ron hadn’t been name prefect and he felt guilty.  Maybe he will be okay with it.  He never seemed to want to be a prefect and constantly made fun of Percy.  Harry shook his head.  Having both your best friends receive the honor and not you has got to make him feel left out.  Harry sighed.  There was really nothing he could do about it and tried not to worry about Ron’s reaction when he found out.  Harry shifted through the packages and letters on his bed until he found Ron’s.

Dear Harry,

                Happy Birthday!  My summer has been pretty interesting.  Dad and Percy are obviously hiding something from the rest of us Weasleys’, but I am sure I can figure it out.  I think it has something to do with Dumbledore and You-Know-Who.  Fred and George spend ridiculous amounts of time in their room inventing jokes and those crazy sweets.  Do you know someone gave them money to help them on their way?  Crazy, I tell you.  It is just crazy.  They keep on telling me they have an early birthday present to buy me when we get to Diagon Alley, but I am a little nervous.  I wonder what it could be? (At this Harry chuckled)

                Have you got the letter about the curriculum change?  I wanted to drop Potions and I was so annoyed when we couldn’t.  But at least I can say good-bye to Divination and History of Magic.  The Dueling class sounds great!  I hoped I get paired up with Malfoy. Then I could do some serious damage without getting detention.  Have you heard?  Hermione is a prefect.  I hope it is not going to go to her head.  She kept on going on about walks and talks but I had no idea what she was talking about so eventually she just dropped it.  She said Malfoy was made prefect too, but didn’t say who was the Gryffindor’s boy prefect.  (At this Harry groaned)   Do you think it’s Dean? Or maybe Seamus…No, no how about Neville?  Ha, ha.  Anyways, your birthday present is from Ginny and me.  Yes, she still has a crush on you.  Go figure.  Stop being so noble, so she can get over you.  You need to learn to act like a prat because I think five years is a bit long for a schoolgirl crush.  Maybe if you asked Malfoy nicely, he would teach you.  Ha, ha.  Anyways, I figured that we should get you a new watch since yours was broken saving my arse in the second task.  Enjoy!  Oh, can you make it to Diagon Alley on the last day of summer to get supplies and meet Hermione and me?  I hope you can.  Well until then, have a great summer and keep yourself busy.

~ Ron

PS:  What is with Hermione?  She seems a bit cold.  Has she said anything to you about it?

PPS: There is a letter from Fred and George in the package too.  Wouldn’t say what it was about though.  My whole family has been a bit too bloody secret this whole summer. 

                Ha.  So much for not getting into the middle of the whole Ron/Hermione situation.  It seemed destined that he was going to play middleman.  Oh well.  It could be worse.  He opened the package searching for the letter from Fred and George.

                                                            Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes

                                            George Weasley, Co-CEO *  Fred Weasley, Co-CEO

Dear Mr. Potter,

                    We would like to officially thank you for your generous donation to our fledgling company, Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes.  We bestow upon you the title of investor, which entitles you to try and have all prototype merchandise, a vote in all-important decisions concerning the well being of the company and the employees, and the opportunity to propose future merchandise and store expansion ideas.  We hope to have a very profitable business partnership.  As you requested, we will keep your involvement in the business a secret and support any decision to make yourself publicly linked with WWW.  We have enclosed a sample of prototype merchandise for you to try and experiment with.  Enjoy.

Sincerely,

Fred Weasley

Fred Weasley

Co-CEO

George Weasley  

George Weasley

Co-CEO

                    Harry laughed.  Fred and George were something else.  He couldn’t wait to try out the prototype merchandise and was excited and pleased that they gave him a vote in the company.  It looks like they have been really busy this summer.  He glanced over at the other letters and packages that the owls have left after they had drunk some water and rested a bit.  There were three letters remaining in the pile with accompanying packages.  The first one was from Mr. and Mrs. Weasley wishing him a happy birthday and sending the annual birthday cake along with mince pies.  Thank god for the Weasleys’.  Now, I don’t have to live solely off the diet food that the Dursley’s call a balanced meal.  The question is a balanced meal for whom?  A rabbit?  The next letter was a short note from Hagrid explaining that he was abroad doing a favor for Dumbledore, but had run into a book Harry thought he might be interested in.  Harry opened the package and out tumbled a red leather bound book with the words: History of the Potters written in golden lettering across the front.  Harry stared at the book in shock.  He flipped to the first page, which read:

                                                        History of the Potters

                                                                                  Chapter One:  Origins

                The Potter name first appears in Hampshire where they were seated from very early times and were granted lands by Duke William of Normandy, their liege Lord, for their distinguished assistance at the Battle of Hastings in 1006 AD.  However, there have been unsubstantiated rumors that the Potter name can be linked to the infamous wizard Godric Gryffindor, whose daughter married none other than Roger Potter sometime in the eleventh century.  The first Potter with sufficient recorded historical evidence was Robert Potter, born in 1017 AD, who is believed to be the grandson of G. Gryffindor.  Robert was a powerful wizard, who later came to establish the foundation of the occupation of Auror.  Consequently, many future Potter heirs find their place among the ranks of this pretentious magical law enforcement. 

Crest: An arm and hand holding the golden cup of Justice.

Coat of Arms: Scarlet shield bordered in black and gold with a blue cross between three golden unicorn heads. 

Motto: Aut vita libera aut mois gloriousa. (Latin translation: Either a free way of life or my glory.)

                Some of the first settlers of this name in America were:  Henry Potter who settled in Virginia in 1619, one year before the "Mayflower"; John Potter who settled in Virginia in 1638, married, and had seven children from whom many of the present North American Potters are descended.  Enoch Potter settled in Georgia in 1773; Vincent Potter settled in New England in 1676…  As Harry began flipping through his book, he saw that it was eventually divided into chapters of important wizards and witches that were Potters according to certain time periods.  He was disappointed to see that there weren’t any chapters on his parents, but there was one on his grandparents.  He was about to flip to the last chapter to read it when he was realized that there was one letter left in the diminished pile of good tidings and well wishings for his birthday.  Thus, Harry decided that he would read that letter first and then turn to his attention to the chapter about his grandparents.  He was just about to slit open the letter when he heard a tapping at the window.  Harry gasped.  What is Fawkes doing outside my window?  And what is she carrying in her claws?