And Now for Something Completely Different (Again)

The guided tour led by Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, a grinning Emma Watson, and an embarrassed leather trouser wearing Tom Felton enter the Great Hall.

Daniel Radcliffe: And this is where...

Rupert Grint: Where's everyone gone?

Emma Watson: Dunno, but that last song was catchy. Starts humming.

Tom Felton: Would you stop looking at me.

All the girls in the tour group and Emma Watson sigh.

A random girl from the group: Tom, sing for us please?

All the girls now start crooning: Please, Tom, please.

Daniel Radcliffe: I'll sing for you if you want.

Tom Felton: I've got ninety thousand pounds in my pyjamas,

Emma Watson: Have you really. Winks slyly.

Tom Felton: worriedly sings I've got forty thousand French francs in my fridge.

Daniel Radcliffe: Hey look I've found a piece of Hermione, and over here is a piece of Ron. Can anyone see a piece of Harry anywhere? Takes out a piece of rubber and pineapple

Tom Felton: I've got lots of lovely lire now the Deutschmark's getting dearer,

And my dollar bills would buy the Brooklyn Bridge.

Rupert Grint: Everyone knows the words now join in.

Everyone starts singing: There is nothing quite as wonderful as money.

There is nothing quite as beautiful as cash,

Daniel Radcliffe: Hey I found some of Harry and this piece I think is part of Draco and this is part of Legolas.

All the girls sigh and some faint.

Daniel Radcliffe: It's not that bad is it?

All start singing cutting off reply: Some people say it's folly but I'd rather have the lolly,

With money you can make a splash.

Draco: There is,

Daniel Radcliffe: I didn't mean to clone you or Ron.

Ron and Draco start singing. Draco repeating words where emphasis is necessary: Nothing nothing quite as wonderful wonderful as money.

Daniel Radcliffe: Oh I Harry, Hermione.

Harry: Please tell me that's not Ron singing.

Everyone except Daniel Radcliffe and Harry: Money, money, money, money,

Ron, Draco and Legolas: There is nothing nothing like a newly newly minted pound,

All the girls: Is there anything he can't do?

Harry: If he can do anything he can kill me!

Everyone except Harry: money, money, money, money,

Harry: Now even your singing turns and points at Daniel Radcliffe.

Everyone must hanker for the butchness of a banker,

It's accountancy that makes the world go round.

Daniel Radcliffe: Well it is catchy

Everyone except Harry and Draco: Round, round, round, round, round, (held)

Draco: You can keep your Marxist ways for it's only just a phase for it's.

Everyone except Draco and Harry: Money, money, money.

Draco hunting on the floor for his fathers pimp stick and some of every death eater.

Ron: Makes the world... go... round...

Hey you and me should do a duet again sometime.

Turns to see Draco picking things up off the floor.

Draco: I don't think so.

Everyone except Harry: Money money money money money

Death Eaters: money

Harry: Oh no not again.

Death Eaters run towards Harry with wands raised.

Ron: Righto darling, yeah I'll be home bout eight thirty. Nah, nah I'll go on the bike.

Harry: Who are you talking to?

Death Eaters: His mum probably. That's how decomposing composers start and that's what you'll be doing in a minute.

Harry backs into piano and violin players.