Harry Potter and the Black Secret

Chapter Twenty-One

Say Goodbye

Kristine walked slowly. The only sound her hollow footsteps on cold stone and the wind whistling through the cracks in the wall. A single strand of honey gold hair could be seen protruding from the heavy woven black hood of her winter cloak, which she held closely against her to shield her body from the chill of this feared place.

Her cloak could not protect from the cold she felt inside however, the total loss of emotion that filled her soul as they sucked the happiness out of the castle ruins. Not that there was much for her to be happy about in the first place. No. It was not happiness or hope that kept her walking, but grim determination.

As she walked deeper and deeper into the citadel she remember the events that had brought her here. Had it really been three months?

It wasn't surprising that time had flown so fast when she remember that for the first of those months she had been dead to the world. Locked away in a haunted slumber with only fear and guilt to keep her company.

She remembered waking up in the large warm bed, surrounded by soft quilted blankets and yielding pillows and for a while she allowed herself just to enjoy the sensation of being tucked up in a warm bed. When she eventually prised her eyes open she had been met with a gentle light emerging from a single candle on her bedside table and the slight glow of the sun behind thick curtains.

The room was unfamiliar, but the voice that spoke to her was not.

"He's been waiting for you. Shall I let him in?"

Kristine had nodded her head briefly, still feeling hazy from extensive sleep.

The man who had sat by her side rose carefully and walked silently to the door of the room, whereupon he allowed another figure into the room, who walked quickly to her side and took her hand in his. He slid down on the bed, sitting next to her.

"How long have I been out?" she asked, knowing that it must have been a while as her voice was raspy and her throat sore.

"Thirsty-two days, six hours and twelve minutes," Draco replied, speaking softly.

"Really?" she asked.

"Well...thirty-two days and a bit anyway. Math was never by strong point."

Kristine smiled weakly.

"Where are we?" she asked.

"Celestial Manor," Draco replied tenderly.

Kristine looked around the room once more, but she still didn't recognise it. If they were back in Sarah's home, then she had never ventured into this room before.

"Draco, I don't remember what happened," she said, a lump coming to her throat, "the last thing I can remember is Harry sticking that sword into Voldemort. Is he all right? Did we win? Where is everyone?"

"Shhh," Draco said stroking Kristine's hair, "I've only been awake two days, and I don't remember anything after that either, but I'll tell you what Snape told me. Just listen."

Kristine closed her eyes and tried to relax and focus on Draco's voice and nothing else.

"When Harry stabbed Voldemort, he killed him. Voldemort is dead and gone, so I guess we won. From what I can gather though, there was a spell that no one had counted on.

Snape's been doing research into the Dark Mark for years, trying to figure out how to remove it mainly, but what he found was that the Mark is a direct blood link to the Dark Lord. When Harry killed him, all of Voldemort's dark energy was released, and without the link, it would have vanished. What happened instead was that it connected to the Mark of those closest to him. You and me.

All that dark magic entered us through the Mark, so Voldemort is gone, but his power lives on. In us.

We were both knocked out by the surge of power, and when Snape arrived at the church he brought us here and ordered Harry to go back to Hogwarts.

He's fine. A little bruised, but nothing that won't heal. Snape says that he keeps trying to get McGonagall to let him come and see you, but she won't let him.

Mum's here, and so are Sirius and Snape. Snape comes and goes, and can I just say that there is something very strange going on between him and Mum, and I'm not sure I approve."

"He was sitting with me," Kristine said.

Draco nodded.

"He wouldn't let me in until now, and he's been a bit tetchy about letting Sirius in."

Kristine felt an overwhelming emotion, something between guilt and pain.

"Draco," she said, her eyes watering, "all those people we hurt. We killed. Harry, Ron, Hermione, all the people in the Great Hall...Dumbledore."

"I know," Draco said quietly.

"The spell," Kristine said, "how did the spell break? One minute I was..."she couldn't bring herself to say 'feeding on Harry'.

"It was Harry's blood," Draco said, "Granger figured it out apparently. Something about there being something special in Potter's blood. A protection spell? There was all this talk about love and sacrifice and his mother. I didn't really understand it, but it was his blood that freed you, and our...bond, freed me."

"Lily," Kristine whispered, "she died to save Harry. It was Harry's blood that stopped Voldemort when he was just a baby, and it was the reason that Voldemort wanted Harry's blood a couple of years ago. Harry's blood made him mortal. When I drank it, the sacrifice she made broke the spell on us."

"That's the theory anyway," Draco said.

"Draco," Kristine said cautiously, "what about your father? What happened?"

"We fought. I won," Draco said shortly, "Please don't worry about me Kriss, I'm fine. As far as I'm concerned he was just another Death Eater, one I hated with a vengeance. There's really no need to talk about it."

A knock sounded at the door, and Draco waited until Kristine nodded an approval until he called for them to come in.

Sirius entered the room looking hesitant, although he clearly wanted nothing more than to see is daughter.

"How are you feeling?" he asked coming to stand at the side of the bed next to Draco.

"Physically or psychologically?" she said, trying to sound like she was joking, but her voice cracked as she spoke.

"I'll get you a glass of water," Draco said, kissing Kristine on the forehead and taking his leave. Sirius nodded appreciatively as he lest the room.

Sirius took Kristine's hand and kissed her knuckles.

Kristine suddenly felt like she was a child once again, and that all she wanted was to be held and so she sat up suddenly and embraced her father tightly, who comforted her as began to cry.

Kristine had reached the door at the end of the cold corridor and she stood face-to-face, well, hood to hood, with the keepers of the old castle. She felt an overwhelming sense of cold, but she kept her head and handed over her pass. Reluctantly she was admitted. Another long walk faced her, and as she continued to walk she remembered a conversation she had had three days after she had woken up, one she would never forget.

She had been sitting in bed, nit yet able to muster the energy to walk about for long, and at midday on the dot, as had been for the past three days, a knock sounded at the door. Snape entered without waiting for an answer carrying a steaming goblet of golden liquid.

"How are you feeling today?" he asked courteously.

"Better," she replied shortly.

Snape studied her face for a moment. Her eyes were red and there were traces of hastily wiped tears on her cheeks.

"You've been crying," he said.

Kristine didn't reply. She couldn't stand to be comforted by Snape, not after everything. She had determined fairly quickly that he couldn't remember, but she could, and she knew that if he knew the truth, he wouldn't be bringing her healing potions every day.

"I have something for you," Snape said and he pulled out an envelope from his cloak pocket. He handed it to her and Kristine recognised the messy handwriting that had scribbled her name on the front. She traced the letters with a finger idly. Kriss.

"Aren't you going to read it?" Snape asked as he added the last minute ingredient to the potion.

"Maybe," Kristine said quietly.

"They ask after you all the time," Snape said as her handed her the goblet, "I don't think you need to worry about their forgiveness."

"I'm not worried about their forgiveness," Kristine said, "I know that they don't blame me and that they don't think anything has changed, but it has. They might be able to forgive me, but I can't forgive myself."

Kristine was surprised at her openness, and covered the silence by drinking the potion. It tasted like coffee and whiskey. Who said things that were good for you had to taste bad?

It wasn't your fault Kristine," Snape said, "You weren't in control of your actions. If everyone else can forgive those actions, why can't you?"

He sounded almost comforting, which was disturbing in its self, but it was worse for Kristine. She knew the truth.

"You wouldn't say that if you knew," she said.

"So tell me," Snape said taking a seat next to her bed. He still had to sit slowly and have support to stand.

"I can't," Kristine said shaking her head.

"Yes you can," he replied firmly, "you need to tell someone if you want a chance at getting your life back to normal. It may be easier to tell someone you're not close to."

"That's true," Kristine said, "but that doesn't meant I can tell you. It's too complicated. You don't remember what I..."

Snape looked at her curiously. She knew she would have to tell him now. Snape was very astute, and he'd figure it out eventually anyway.

"You're lucky you don't remember," she said, "If you did you'd never want to help me."

She stared adamantly at the quilt cover, not meeting the older mans gaze. It was amazing how the gaze of just his right eye could be just as, if not more, piercing than when both his eyes functioned properly.

"Voldemort didn't torture you when he found out you were still spying. I did. I'm the one who blinded you, who cut you and hit you, who hurt you a thousand different ways just to make you scream. I remember it even if you don't."

"Why didn't you kill me? Why leave me to be found?" Snape asked calmly.

"You were meant to be a message," Kristine said, "if you died, then you would deliver that message just as well as if you were alive. Not knowing can be more tortuous than remembering sometimes. Worse than death."

"That's very true," Snape said, again calm and collected.

"Aren't you angry?" Kristine said stupefied.

"I've already told you that you cannot be held responsible for the actions you committed under that spell. It was powerful dark magic. Not your fault."

"It feels like my fault," Kristine said quietly, "I remember making the decisions. I remember enjoying the actions and I remember how blood felt on my skin."

Snape sighed.

"Kristine, that spell robbed you of you morality. Your conscience. Our values are what make us who we are. Take them away and we're just a shell. What you did under the influence of that spell was not your fault; even if can remember every detail. If you still aren't convinced, then ask yourself this. Given the same choices now, when you are not under a spell, would you make the same decisions?"

"Of course not!" Kristine exclaimed.

"Then I think you have your answer," Snape said as he rose and left her alone with her thoughts.

Then she remembered the letter that was sitting on her bedspread. She picked up the parchment and carefully slid out the letter inside. She didn't need to read the signature to know whom it was from.

Kristine and Draco spent yet another peaceful month at the Manor with Sarah, only being visited by Sirius and Snape. Hogwarts was back in business, the Great Hall repaired with a memorial at the far end of the Hall. At the request of Professor McGonagall, Dumbledore's name appeared in the same fashion as all the others who had died in the Hall and on the battlefield. She said that Dumbledore would not want his life to seem more significant than any other. He was equally important as the others who had given their lives. McGonagall did, however, allow a Special Edition Chocolate Frog Card to be made in the Headmasters honour.

Sirius told Kristine that Harry asked after her every time he saw him, and that he was angry at not being allowed to visit. Kristine on the other hand was relieved, which just added to her guilt. She didn't want to face anyone else. Not yet.

Kristine finally reached the door at the end of the passage. Once again she had to show a pass, but this time to a grim looking wizard with a black moustache. He was very tall and imposing. Broad shoulders and a permanent scowl on his face, but Kristine wasn't intimidated in the slightest. After what she'd been through, a security guard wasn't going to faze her.

"Wand please," he said gruffly holding out a hand.

"I don't have a wand," Kristine replied curtly, not moving to reveal her face from under hood.

"You're a witch aren't you? Only Wizards and witches can come in here, so you must have a wand Regulations state that you must hand it over to me. Now."

"I don't have a wand," Kristine repeated.

"Then you won't mind if a search you," the guard said stepping forward.

"Touch me and it'll be the last thing you do," Kristine said austerely.

The guard stopped and his scowl seemed to waver for a second.

"I'm warning you Miss," he said sternly.

"No I'm warning you," Kristine interrupted snapping at the man, "I have the authority to be here. I don't have a wand, and if you checked my papers properly, you'd see that. Now I would like to get through that door immediately, or you will suffer the consequences. I am in no mood to be argued with."

The guard looked hatefully at Kristine, but did check her pass once more, then begrudgingly let her through into a dark cell, locking the door behind her. She walked over to the far wall, where a single small barred window admitted a little moonlight, and knelt down in front of the curled up figure on the cold floor.

"Draco," she whispered tenderly.

Mid-November. A group of Ministry officials turned up on the doorstep. Everything was such a blur. They spoke to Sarah demanding to see her son, insisting that he was here. Draco had come to the landing that overlooked the entrance hall and allowed himself to be seen. Before Kristine knew what had happened he had been arrested.

Sarah had shouted and Kristine had run down the stairs to the group. Everyone was shouting and so she did the only thing that she could think of at the time to get attention. She smashed one of the chandeliers.

"What the hell is going on!" she demanded.

No one spoke for a moment, everyone staring at the enraged girl. Eventually, an official looking Ministry worker spoke up.

"Draco Malfoy is under arrest for the murders of Albus Dumbledore and Orla Quirke. There will be a hearing in three days. If we are detained any further then legal action will be taken against those persons who are responsible."

"What!" Kristine exclaimed, "you can't arrest Draco, it wasn't his fault! How can you arrest him and not me?" she practically shouted.

"What is your name Miss?" the man said, sounding bored.

"Kristine Hail," she replied evenly.

One of the other men took out a device and did a quick check before speaking up.

"There's no Kristine Hail listed sir. There's a Diana Black, maiden name Hail though."

"That's my mother," Kristine said.

"So that would make you Kristine Black then?" the first official asked.

"Yes," Kristine replied tensely, "but I've always used my mothers name."

"Well, Miss Black," he said, "The reason we are arresting Mister Malfoy and not yourself, is due to the fact that there have been no allegations made against you directly, and since you were only two weeks or so out of being classed as a minor at the time of the event, prosecution against you as an accomplish would be petty and unfruitful."

"How can you arrest someone when they were acting under the influence of a spell?" Kristine pushed.

"There is no evidence to suggest that this was the case. Any defence will be given at the hearing, now we are leaving. Mister Malfoy shall be detained until the court date at holdings in the Ministry. Good day," and with that, the group walked out, Draco following obligingly.

Three days later the hearing had taken place. Kristine wasn't allowed to be present and after a lot of argument, she had stayed at Celestial Manor with Sirius. It was hard to say what had felt worse. The waiting, or the verdict.

Draco raised his head to look at her. His eyes were tired and he looked worn, and when he saw her face, he cowered back against the wall refusing to look at her.

"Draco," Kristine repeated, cupping his face in her hand.

"Not real," Draco muttered, "Not real. You can't be real, can't be really here."

"I am here baby," she said softly, "Draco please look at me."

He raised his head and looked into her eyes. She leaned forward and kissed him gently on the lips.

"I'm real," she assured.

Draco responded by pulling her back against him and kissing her passionately, to which she kissed equally desperately back.

"I thought I'd never see you again," he whispered, leaning his forehead against hers.

"Draco, I don't have long," Kristine said, "I'm here to get you out."

At this statement Draco's eyes sprung open and he stared at her in amazement.

"Get me out?" he replied in a strained whisper, "How in the hell do you plan to get me out of here? It's Azkaban Kriss. One person in the history of wizard kind has gotten out of here."

"And he was my father," Kristine replied, "Trust me Draco, I can do this."

"I can't let you," Draco replied stubbornly, "You'll be a fugitive like me. You lived that way for the first part of your life, I'm not going to be the reason you have to do it again for the next part."

"It's not your decision," Kristine replied just as stubbornly.

"No!" Draco finalised.

Kristine let out a sigh of frustration, took a deep breath, and started again.

"Draco," she said composedly, "You're right, I did spend the first part of my life outcast from the Wizarding community. I grew up away from my home, not knowing my family or where I came from really. I grew up without my father because he was locked up in Azkaban for a crime he didn't commit. I'm not having our child grow up the same way."

Draco seemed about to protest, but then the enormity of what she had said sunk in and his eyes widened even further.

"Kristine," he said, his voice shaking slightly, "are you...?"

She nodded.

"Okay," Draco said, still sounding shaky, "Let's say I agree to your little illegal prison breakout, how exactly do you plan to achieve our freedom?"

Kristine had been asleep, probably for the first time since she had heard that Draco had been found guilty of double murder and sentenced to life in Azkaban. Even now, she wasn't sure if she had seen it in a dream, or if she had really woken up and seen an apparition. Either way, she knew it was real.

She had panicked at first, but it was difficult to be scared when faced with such warm, friendly eyes that sparkled with amusement. Even in death he had a glint in his eye.

He stood there before her, large as life, just a little more glowing round the edges than when he had really been alive.

"Good evening Miss Hail," Dumbledore said to her smiling.

Kristine had stared dumbfounded, unable to find the words to express what she was feeling.

"I regret that I cannot stay long," he said to her, "and there is a rather pressing matter at hand. Young Mister Malfoy."

Kristine had opened her mouth to speak on Draco's behalf, but Dumbledore waved a hand and she remained silent.

"I know that Draco was acting under a spell as were you, but unfortunately the Ministry is as blind as ever when it comes to these matters. I do not blame either of you in the slightest. Actually, don't tell anyone, but I'm rather enjoying being dead. It can be quite enlightening you know, plus I've got to meet some very interesting people.

Listen to me, I do go on sometimes.

The reason I'm here is to deliver you guidance. I no longer have to worry about the consequence my actions will have on myself, and if you head my words, then everything should work out all right in the end, in a way.

I'm going to tell you a spell. This spell will allow you to free Draco from Azkaban, I'll let you know where to go and how to get access, and it will also rid you both of Lord Voldemort's power. He will be banished forever.

No, I'm not going to lie to you. There is a risk with this magic that it may leave you unable to perform any magic again, it will also drain you for a time of your energy, but you will recover from that. You're a strong young woman; I believe you can do this.

Are you ready?" Dumbledore said.

"Just tell me what to do," Kristine replied, a new determination brewing inside her.

Kristine took Draco's hand in hers.

"Close your eyes," she said, "and focus on me. I'll do all the work, just focus on my presence. If this works, then we'll Apparate out of here, breaking the boundaries around the castle, and end up in a specific spot. There's help there. I might be too tired to help after that."

"Are you sure about this?" Draco asked one last time.

"Close your eyes," she said.

Kristine began muttering the incantation under her breath, repeating the same Latin words over and over again. Draco didn't know what they meant, but he felt a stirring sensation inside. He could feel unnatural magic forcing its way to the surface of his skin, and then abruptly expelling itself.

The power mingled with that of which Kristine was wielding. He opened his eyes to look at her. Her hair and eyes were black, but she was focussed, controlling an unimaginable amalgamates of magic. Every colour imaginable sparked and swirled, converging at a point above Kristine.

She stopped chanting, and with a physical push of her right hand, the magic burst right through solid stone with a deafening bang. Before Draco had time to register the destruction she had caused, they were gone.

They were standing in a deserted alley, the odd car screamed passed and the only light was that of the fluorescent street lamps. Kristine fell heavily into Draco's arms, still conscious, but exhausted.

"What now?" Draco asked softly.

"Get in the car," a familiar male voice answered.

Draco didn't hesitate, and half carrying Kristine, walked over to the car that looked an awful lot like a Muggle black taxicab. As soon as they were inside, the red headed driver accelerated and they moved away from the spot where the magic they had used could be traced to.

After Kristine's visit from Dumbledore, she had headed straight for her desk and pulled out the letter she had received over a month ago. She hadn't replied to it, but now as she read it once more, she felt she could.

She pulled out a quill, ink and parchment, and began to scratch a letter.

Dear Ron,

I'm sorry I haven't written to you, but I need to tell you that knowing you cared has helped me. I'm sorry to have to ask you this, especially since we haven't spoken in so long, but I need your help. You're the only one I can ask, the only person I trust enough to ask.

Sirius tells me you're at the Burrow for the holidays. I need to see you, and soon. Please meet me at Diagon Alley, outside Gringots on the 19^th at 2:00pm. Just you, I can't see the others. Please come alone.

I'll explain everything when I see you.

I love you Ron, I don't know what I've done to deserve a friend like you, but I'm grateful.

See you soon,

Your friend always,

Kriss xXx

Ron had met her as asked, and had agreed to help her eventually. He had spent the first half an hour of their meeting trying to convince her to come back to school, saying that Harry missed her, that they all missed her.

"Please Kristine," he begged, "you have no idea how hurt Harry's been. Why won't you see him?"

"I can't, I just can't. I know Harry, and he'll never accept Draco, and I can't not be with him."

"But your not with him," Ron said delicately, "I heard what happened Kriss. I'm so sorry, I know how much you love him, but there's nothing we can do. It's not fair, but that's the way it is. You can't cut yourself off from everyone else who cares about you. Come back to Hogwarts. Please."

"I can't go back to Hogwarts Ron," Kristine said, "Not now, not ever."

"I know it'll be hard, but facing it might help you to move on."

"It's more complicated than that," Kristine said.

"Why?" he demanded, "Give me one good reason why you can't come back."

"I'm pregnant," she said.

That was all that needed to be said to convince him to help, he had even insisted on being their secret keeper, using the same spell that Lily and James had used all those years ago, only this time, their secret keeper wouldn't betray. The protection spell was complex, and would hide Kristine and Draco from anyone who was looking for them, unless Ron revealed their location, which he would never do. The spell would last seven years. That should be long enough.

Now Ron was driving them to the airport, rain hammering against the car as they drove through the night. When he thought about facing Harry, a knot tightened in his stomach, but then he remembered the couple in the back of the car, and all doubts vanished. This was the right thing to do.

As he was driving he felt a tingling in his head. A vision. This was what they were like know, just like a daydream with a hint of a twinge, just to let him know it was real.

He saw Harry, sitting awake in his room at Sirius's apartment going through a photo album. One specific picture focussed in Ron's mind. It was of two people. One with jet-black hair, the other with shoulder length honey blonde hair. They were both in Ruby red Quidditch robes. Ron remembered the picture, it had been taken after the first match that Harry and Kristine had won together. They looked happy, and as Harry looked at the picture a smile played on his lips.

Ron knew he was seeing the present, and that this was what Harry was doing now, and Ron knew that Harry would be all right. Eventually. As the vision ended, he could faintly hear a song. It sounded as if it were part of the vision, but it continued as Ron came back to the real world.

Kristine and Draco were curled up together in the back of the car, not asleep, but resting. The only sound apart from the rain was the soft music on the radio.

"Can you turn it up a bit," Kristine asked as a new song started to play. She closed her eyes and drifted into a much need sleep listening to the song and sound of Draco's breathing, his arms around her and his heart beating against her back.

Together, at last.

In the years to come,
Will you think about these moments that we shared?
In the years to come,
Are you gonna think it over,
And how we lived each day with no regrets.
Nothing lasts forever though we want it to;
The road ahead holds different dreams for me and you,

Sometimes goodbye though it hurts in your heart it's the only way for destiny;
Sometimes goodbye though it hurts it's the only way now for you and me, Though its the hardest thing to say,
I'll miss your love in every way,
So say goodbye,
But don't you cry,
Cause true love never dies.

In a year from now,
Maybe there'll be things we'll wish we'll never said.
In a year from now,
Maybe we'll see each other, standing on the same street corner though it rains.
Each and every end is always written in the stars,
If only I could stop the World I'd make this last,

Sometimes goodbye though it hurts in your heart is the only way for destiny;
Sometimes goodbye though it hurts is the only way now for you and me. And it's the hardest thing to say,
I'll miss your love in every way,
So say goodbye,
But don't you cry,
Cause true love never dies.

And when you need my arms to run into,
I'll come for you,
Nothing will ever change the way I feel,

Sometimes goodbye though it hurts in your heart is the only way for destiny,
Sometimes goodbye though it hurts is the only way now for you and me,
And its the hardest thing to say,
I'll miss your love in every way,
So say goodbye,
Because a true love never dies.

The End