The Awakened Sleeper

"The consequences of things are not always proportionate to the apparent magnitude of those events that have produced them."

--Charles Caleb Colton

Chapter 12

The Ripple Effect

"Sirius? What are you doing here?" Lily asked as she stood, hastily wiping the tears off her face with the back of her hand.

"I could ask you the same thing," replied Sirius, his eyes darting back and forth between Lily and Severus.

"Luckily for Lily, the burden of explanation doesn't fall on her. You're the one who barged in here," Severus spat as he stood up.

"I wasn't talking to you, Snivellus, but if you're dying to get in on the conversation, I haven't got a problem with that," Sirius said as he finally entered the room. "So... terrorizing one girl today wasn't enough. No, I reckon your day just wouldn't have been complete until you squeezed a few tears out of Lily, too."

Severus took a couple of steps toward Sirius. "As usual, Black, you're talking a load of rot," he sneered. "No one in this room wants to hear the sound of your voice--except you, of course. So why don't you just scamper away?"

Lily didn't understand what Sirius was talking about, nor did she understand why he had felt the need to interrupt them in the first place. Whatever the reason, she knew she had to get rid of him quickly before he and Severus came to blows.

"Honestly, Sirius," she said irritably, "is there a particular reason you came here, or did boredom send you here for another round of 'Taunt the Slytherin'?"

"She wants to know if I'm here for a reason, Snape. Should you tell her, or should I?" asked Sirius, his facetious tone belying the contempt that was etched across his face. "As her housemate," he continued, slowly advancing on Severus, "I feel that I should be the one to break the bad news, but maybe you should do it. It may soften the blow, since you two have become so chummy lately. What d'you think?"

Taking in the deep frown lines that had appeared on Severus's face the moment Sirius began talking, it was clear to Lily that Severus had absolutely no idea what Sirius was going on about.

Rolling her eyes, she said, "Sirius, you're making sense of the non variety, so if you've got something to say..." She let her voice trail away as she spread her hands in front of her, indicating that Sirius should proceed.

"Have it your own way, then," Sirius muttered, directing his words at Severus, not Lily. He continued to stare at Severus confrontationally as he said, "Snape's best mate attacked Cressida in Hogsmeade this afternoon."

Lily was rendered speechless by Sirius's disclosure. Evan Rosier, she thought viciously. As guilt quickly began to overtake her, Lily felt as though someone had doused her with a bucket of icy cold water, chilling her to the bone. I should've made her report him as soon as she told me about what he did to her last term. I should've been with her today.

She quickly glanced at Severus, her reason for not going into Hogsmeade. No, she scolded to herself, you will not blame him for this. He didn't force you to stay here. This isn't his fault; it's yours!

Turning her gaze back to Sirius, she stammered, "D-did he... did he... r-ra--"

"No," Sirius interrupted, looking at Lily with softness in his eyes. "But it wasn't for lack of trying. I got there just before he..." Lily saw fury flash across his face before he looked away from her.

Lily fired an onslaught of questions at Sirius. "Is she all right? Where is she? Has she reported it? Where's Evan?"

"He slapped her around a bit before I got there; she's bruised up pretty badly. She wanted to rest for a while before she reports it, so she's waiting for us in my room. As for Rosier," Sirius said, turning his attention back to Severus, "I don't know where he is. Tell us, Snivelly, where did the wanker run off to?"

Severus folded his arms across his chest and raised an eyebrow at Sirius. "How should I know?" he asked coolly.

"Oh, so you two didn't come up with a little contingency plan? Didn't plan what would happen if he got caught?"

Lily looked at the two boys, frowning in confusion. "Sirius, why do you keep talking to him like he had something to do with this?"

"Because he did!" shouted Sirius, balling his hands into fists in the process. "Think about it, Lily. You and Cressida are thick as thieves. If you'd been there today, Rosier never would've got her by herself."

As the words, If you'd been there today, began a repetitive loop in Lily's mind, her bottom lip began to quiver. Guilt had a viselike grip on her mind, body, and soul, momentarily blinding her senses to what was going on around her. She nearly missed it when Severus unexpectedly crossed the gap between Sirius and himself, violently shoving him to the floor.

"Don't you blame her for this!" Severus yelled as he pulled out his wand and aimed it at Sirius.

Sirius quickly scrambled to his feet, withdrawing his own wand and training it on Severus in return. "I'm not blaming her," he snarled, his voice a low, dangerous rumble in his throat. "I'm blaming you. Lily's a good student, and you used that against her to get her to stay here today."

"No!" Lily exclaimed, shaking her head vigorously. "It was my idea to meet today, Sirius. I suggested that if neither one of us had figured out our potion, we'd stay here and study together instead of going to Hogsmeade. That was two weeks ago."

Sirius began to chuckle humorlessly. "Two weeks is plenty of time for the two of them to have planned this out," he said to her as his vision remained locked on Severus. "Do you honestly believe this swotty little ponce hasn't already figured out what that potion is? I'll bet he made some kind of sudden discovery today, didn't he?"

Lily was still shaking her head, though not as strongly as before. Her eyes slowly slid to rest on Severus. No, she thought, it can't be. She didn't want to believe it, but Sirius was actually making some sense. Had she been duped?

After a tense moment or two, Severus finally broke eye contact with Sirius to look at Lily. Please tell me it's not true, Lily pleaded with her eyes. When she received no response from him, she said aloud, "Tell him it's not true, Severus! Please... just tell him." Severus remained stonily silent, as he shifted his gaze back to Sirius.

"See, Lily?" Sirius said with bitter triumph. "He's got nothing to say because he knows it's true."

"I've got nothing to say because you've already got me tried and convicted," said Severus in that eerily calm voice Lily now recognized as the precursor of his rage. "It doesn't matter what I say, you're going to believe whatever the hell you want to believe. Why waste my breath?"

"Am I being unfair to poor little Snivellus?" Sirius pulled down his lower eyelid with his middle finger as he sneered, "Do you see any concern in my eyes?"

Lily could see Severus's breathing begin to quicken. Knowing that an explosion was imminent, she calmly said, "Look, it doesn't matter. Just put the wands away, okay?"

"Of course it matters!" Sirius yelled irately. "He sat here studying with you all day, like nothing out of the ordinary was going on; like it was just a normal day."

He looked at Severus with disgust as he continued. "How could you just sit here going about your day, knowing what was happening in Hogsmeade? Knowing what he was doing to her? You just sat back and let it happen, you sick bas--"

"So, this is what happens when the simple minded actually try to use their brains," scoffed Severus, cutting Sirius off mid-insult. "They put two and two together and their tiny little minds accept it as the absolute truth, regardless of the lack of proof or logic."

"The lump on Cressida's head, her swollen face, and her bruised wrists are all the proof I need. And as far as logic goes, this is a case of one Slytherin scratching another Slytherin's back--it doesn't get any more logical than that."

"What would I possibly have to gain from Evan attacking Cressida?"

"YOU KEEP HER NAME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH!" Sirius's wand arm trembled with rage as he shouted, "I nearly killed that bastard today, and if you say her name again, I'll finish what I started with Rosier on you!"

"What are you waiting for?" Severus fired back. "As my judge and jury, you've decided I'm guilty, right? Why don't you play the executioner, too? DO IT!"

Lily had been silently watching this heated exchange between the two, and was now utterly disgusted with both of them. She quickly hopped onto the nearest table, pulled her own wand, pointed it at the pair, and screamed, "ACCIO WANDS!" As the two wands flew into her outstretched hand, both Sirius and Severus looked up at Lily in surprise. They had both been so wrapped up in their mutual loathing, that it seemed as though they had momentarily forgotten that she was in the room.

"Both of you make me SICK!" Lily shrieked. "You're thinking about yourselves while my best friend is alone and in pain right now! I don't care about who knew what and when. The only thing I care about is getting to her as soon as I possibly can. So this is what's going to happen. Sirius," she said, pointing her wand directly at him, "you will wait for me out in the corridor while I gather my things. Then you'll take me to Cressida.

"Severus," Lily continued as she rounded on him, "after I leave, you'll wait here for two minutes before you set foot out of this room. By the time you leave, Sirius and I will be long gone, and I won't have to worry about the two of you fighting like five-year-olds again."

Lily narrowed her eyes to slits as she continued to scold them. "If either one of you has a problem with this," she said menacingly, "you won't have to worry about killing each other. I'll turn both of you into cockroaches and stomp you into a gooey mess on the floor. GOT IT?!" As Lily glared at the both of them, she could see that they had received her message loud and clear. Neither one of them was stupid enough to question whether or not she could do what she claimed.

Sirius turned his attention back to Severus as he began backing out of the room. "She never did anything to you," he muttered scornfully. "You went too far this time, Snape." He turned around and stalked out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him.

Lily let out the breath she'd been holding in as she lowered her wand arm. She jumped down from the table she was standing on and walked over to the table where her bag was still sitting, never sparing a glance in Severus's direction.

"Lily, I didn't--"

She held up her hand to stop him from speaking. "Just stop. I don't want to hear anymore," she said despairingly as she began sifting through the stack of professional journals that Severus had checked out. So much had occurred since he returned from the library that it seemed as though he'd brought the books back a lifetime ago.

As she took half the journals in the stack and shoved them into her bag, Lily added, "I don't know if you did or you didn't, and I can't worry about that right now, Severus. I just can't." She gently laid his wand on the table and turned toward the door. "I'll see you in class on Monday," she murmured as she began to walk away.

Lily could hear Severus behind her, racing to catch up with her. He made it to the door before she did and blocked it, just as she had done earlier.

Staring intently at a spot above his head, Lily whispered, "Please move, Severus."

"Look at me," he requested. "If you don't want to, I won't stop you from leaving. I'm just asking you to please look at me."

Unsure of what she would see, Lily reluctantly looked into his eyes. They seemed to be pleading with her, Please believe me.

"Earlier today, you said that you trusted me. I've never given you any reason not to, Lily. Never."

Not like I have, Lily thought to herself as a brief surge of guilt made her stomach spasm.

"That's all I wanted to say." With that, Severus stepped aside, giving Lily access to the door.

She placed her hand on the doorknob. Before turning it, she addressed Severus one last time, keeping her eyes on the door in front of her as she spoke. "We'll talk about this later, all right?"

"All right," agreed Severus.

Without another word spoken between the two of them, Lily entered the corridor where Sirius was sitting on the floor with his back against the adjacent wall. As she closed the door behind her, he quickly stood and held out his hand for his wand.

"What's to stop you from barging back into that classroom and throwing some awful hex at Severus?" Lily inquired disdainfully. "You'll get it back when we get upstairs."

"You trust that--that--thing in there more than me?" Sirius asked as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing. "I'm sure you've given him back his wand; what's to stop him from doing the same thing to me?"

"Well, I don't see him coming out here, do you?"

"I'm not moving a muscle until you give me back my wand," said Sirius, cantankerously emphasizing his resolve by folding his arms across his chest.

Instead of screaming, "MOVE YOUR ASS!" at the top of her lungs like she wanted to, Lily smiled sweetly and said, "Fortunately, I'm a witch. Getting you to Gryffindor Tower doesn't require the movement of your muscles. Now if you want to do this the hard way, we can. But make up your mind quickly, or I'll make it for you."

"Whatever," he mumbled grouchily. "We're wasting time anyway. Let's just go." Sirius turned and began walking toward the staircase.

We're wasting time? Lily thought with a roll of her eyes as she followed behind him.

The two of them walked down the corridor together in silence. When they made it to the staircase, Sirius blurted out, "So what was that I walked in on?"

"I was wondering how long it would be before you started nosing into my business again," Lily replied resignedly as she began the ascent to the seventh floor. "You actually held out longer than I thought you would."

"Are you going to answer my question?" he queried.

"Nope."

"If he said or did anything to hurt you, you can tell me, Lily."

"Why?" Lily asked, stopping to turn around and look at Sirius. "So you can have an excuse to blast him into oblivion?"

"I won't lie to you and say that the thought hadn't crossed my mind, but," he said, gently grabbing Lily's wrist when she turned away in frustration, "it's not about that. I'm worried for you."

"Severus wouldn't hurt me," Lily said dismissively as she pulled away from his grasp and started walking up the stairs again. "I've been alone with him quite a few times now. If he wanted to hurt me, he's had plenty of chances to do it."

When they made it to the landing, Sirius stepped in front of Lily. "What about Cressida? He may not have laid a hand on her, but he's just as guilty as Rosier."

"Why are you so convinced that Severus knew about it?"

Sirius just stared at Lily for a moment, his mouth gaped open in disbelief. "Did you have a heaping plate of brain damage for breakfast this morning?"

"You're insulting me now? Oh, that's the perfect way to convince me that Severus is guilty!"

"Didn't you hear anything I just said back there?" Sirius asked, overlooking Lily's sarcasm.

"What I heard was you accusing Severus based on a lot of circumstantial evidence. It's just as Severus said; he has nothing to gain from the... attack." Lily's stomach felt like it was twisting itself into a pretzel at the thought of what Cressida had been through.

"You're right. He's got nothing to gain from the attack itself, but he's got a lot to gain by being loyal to Rosier."

"He's not like that, Sirius," said Lily as she began walking up the next flight of stairs. "You don't even know him."

"And you think you do?"

From the sound of his voice, Lily could tell that Sirius had remained at the foot of the stairs. She turned around to see him staring at her as if he was getting a good look at her for the first time in a long time. Apparently, he didn't like what he saw.

"You've been working with him for, what, a month now?" he asked as he began climbing the steps that separated the two of them. "I've known people like him my entire life, Lily. They look out for themselves. They'll do whatever it takes to be on top, no matter who or what gets in their way. He hasn't done anything to hurt you yet, but as sure as I'm standing here, someone will come along promising him things that you can't give him. I've seen it too many times. He will hurt you--it's only a matter of when."

Lily studied Sirius for a moment. As she took in the weariness in his eyes and demeanor, she could see that he wasn't trying to disparage Severus simply because he was a Slytherin. He wasn't doing it because of some silly schoolboy rivalry, either. For the first time since Sirius had started his tirade against Severus, Lily realized that he truly believed that Severus was a wholly despicable person, devoid of goodness and undeserving of redemption.

"You're wrong about him," she whispered fervently.

Sirius sighed heavily. "For your sake, I really hope I am."

Lily watched him as he walked past her and continued up the stairs. It seemed as though the two of them had silently agreed to disagree. Their discussion about Severus Snape's character was shelved--for the moment, anyway--and that was fine with Lily.

As they made their way to the seventh floor, Lily couldn't help but think of all the things Sirius had said about Severus. She had to admit that, on the surface, Severus looked guilty as sin. Taking into account his fascination with the shadier side of magic, his broodiness, and his friendship with Evan, it was easy to see how Sirius had connected Severus with Cressida's attack. And it was also true that Slytherins had a tendency to do favors for one another for personal gain and an upgrade in status. It all made sense... on the surface.

Yet Lily knew too much about Severus to take anything that concerned him at face value. Did she believe that Severus was above doing something wrong for a friend because he would get something out of it later? Hardly--she wasn't that naïve. But she didn't think he would do something like that for Evan Rosier. She had suspected for some time now that Severus didn't care for Evan very much; he merely tolerated Evan to survive the politics of being a Slytherin. Evan was an opportunist. Knowing that, Lily was more inclined to believe that he had simply used their study session as an opportunity to get Cressida alone.

Of course, Lily had based her conclusion mostly on speculation, just as Sirius had. However, unlike Sirius, she'd had one concrete piece of evidence in her possession earlier that day--Severus's journal. After what she'd read about how his father had treated his mother, there wasn't a doubt in her mind that Severus was incapable of committing any kind of violence against a woman. Sure, Severus had said that his father hadn't laid a hand on him or his mother, but Lily knew that not all violence is physical. She knew that emotional wounds could do more damage and heal much more slowly than the physical ones. What Evan had attempted to do to Cressida involved both types of violence, and Lily refused to believe that Severus would be a party to anything like that.

By the time Lily had completed her silent contemplation, they had reached the portrait of the Fat Lady. When they stopped walking, Lily realized that she'd had her hand on her chest the entire time. Her hand was exactly where her locket would have been if she hadn't yanked it off and thrown it at Severus earlier.

Severus was right, she thought to herself. I do reach for my locket when I'm thinking really hard about something.

Just as Sirius was about to say the password, Lily held up her hand and said, "Wait."

"What is it?"

"There's something I need to say to you, and I need to do it before I go in to see Cressa."

Sirius exhaled loudly and squared his shoulders, as if he was steeling himself for yet another verbal sparring match. "What have I done this time?" he asked with a sigh.

"You saved my best friend from being raped today, and I want to thank you for that."

The tension in his shoulders and face eased up slightly. "Lily, you don't have to--"

"No, Sirius," Lily interrupted. "I do." She could feel the tears building up again, just as she anticipated. It was futile to try to keep them from falling, so she didn't. She allowed the tears to spill over as she continued.

"I wasn't there for her today. She practically begged me to go with her, but I didn't. I wasn't with her and I should've been."

"Lily, there's no way you could have known something like this was going to happen. If I made you feel like this was your fault earlier, I'm sor--"

"Sirius, please let me finish, okay?"

"Okay," Sirius agreed reluctantly.

"Like I said, I wasn't there, but you were. You were there for her when she needed you to be. It's good to know that Cressida has someone looking out for her when I'm not around. I really appreciate what you did for her today, and I apologize if I made you think for even one second that I don't." She smiled slightly as she wiped the tears off of her face. "I'm finished now."

"Good," Sirius bluntly replied. "I was going to say that you don't owe me an apology, but I definitely owe you a few." He began ticking off all the ways he was sorry on his fingers.

"I'm sorry if I made you think that this was your fault. I'm sorry that I barreled into the room the way I did. I'm sorry for sticking my nose where it doesn't belong. I won't apologize for accusing Snape, because he's a bastard and I believe he's in this up to his greasy head. But I will apologize for picking a fight with him. You were right; it was selfish of me to behave that way after everything that's happened today. I can't help it, though. That's our thing--Snape and me. When we get together, we fight--it's what we do. You know that." He squinted his eyes as if another apology was floating in the ether. "I guess that's it. Apologies accepted?"

Lily knew that an apology from Sirius Black was very rare. Somehow, she had managed to get not one, but four apologies out of him. Even though they left much to be desired in terms of eloquence, Lily felt they had been issued in a spirit of contrition, not obligation. That was enough for her.

She nodded her head as she answered, "Apologies accepted. I'm glad we cleared the air."

"Me, too."

Lily reached into her bag and pulled out Sirius's wand. As she placed it in his hand, she said, "Ready?"

"Ready."

The both of them turned to the Fat Lady and said, "Belladonna."

As they walked through the portrait hole and into the common room, Lily expected to be greeted by a chorus of first and second years firing questions and complaints at Sirius as they so often did. However, she was shocked to see a room full of young Gryffindors regarding the two of them rather coolly.

"What's going on with them?" Lily whispered in awe.

"They're still smarting from the ear bashing I gave them earlier," said Sirius distractedly. "Called them runts."

"Oh," she said, thinking back to her earlier years at Hogwarts. "If you wanted to piss off a room full of eleven and twelve-year-olds, that was definitely the way to do it."

Sirius merely shrugged his shoulders as the two of them began walking up the stairs to the boys' dormitory. When they reached the door of his room, he tried opening it only to find that it was locked.

"Who's there?" called a muffled, but slightly panicked voice from inside the room.

"It's Sirius. I've got Lily with me." He motioned his head toward the door, indicating to Lily that she should make her presence known.

"I'm here, Cressa," she said. "Will you let us in, please?"

The only response they received was the click of the door being unlocked. Sirius opened the door and allowed Lily to enter the room first. Her eyes quickly scanned the room until they locked onto Cressida. She was lying on a bed across the room.

"Cressa?" Lily took a few tentative steps forward, not quite sure how to approach her. Cressida sat up in bed and Lily got her first good look at what Evan Rosier had done. Even through the curtain of hair, Lily could see how swollen the right side of Cressida's face was. She could see the brown eyes that were red and puffy from crying. Cressida never cried. Strangely, it was the bloodshot eyes that affected Lily more than anything else.

Lily rushed over to her best friend and threw her arms around her. Words began to tumble uncontrollably from her lips. "I'm so sorry, Cressa! You wanted me to be with you today, and I wasn't. I was so selfish! I wasn't with you, and I should've been. It's my fault, and I'm so sorry!"

Cressida pried Lily off of her. "This isn't your fault, Lily," she said softly.

"Yes, it is--"

"NO, IT ISN"T!" Cressida exclaimed impatiently. "If you're going to sit there and blame yourself for this, you can just leave, Lily. I will not sit here and listen to you beat yourself up over this." She leaned her forehead against Lily's and whispered, "It isn't your fault."

"It isn't yours, either," Lily murmured back. "You do know that, don't you?"

Cressida said nothing. She simply eased back against the pillows she had stacked up against the headboard of the bed and closed her eyes.

"You haven't been sleeping, have you?" Sirius asked from the doorway.

"No, Sirius," Cressida responded, a shadow of a smile resting on her lips. "I've been awake since you left."

"Good," he said approvingly. "I see you found your wand. I meant to give it back to you earlier, but it slipped my mind."

Without opening her eyes, Cressida reached out and picked up her wand, which was laying on the bed beside her. As she laid it across her belly, she said, "I feel better with it beside me. Safer..."

"Well," Sirius said as he rubbed the back of his neck, "I reckon you two have a lot to talk about. I'll be right outside the door if you need me." He didn't wait for either of the girls to respond; he simply closed the door.

The two girls sat in the boys' dorm room in silence. Lily sat on the edge of Sirius's bed, wringing her hands nervously, while Cressida continued to lie on the bed with her eyes shut. Lily couldn't help marveling at how peaceful Cressida looked, considering everything that had happened.

"I suppose you want to hear what happened," Cressida said on a sigh.

"Only if you're ready to tell me, Cressa." Lily took Cressida's hand and held it in her own. She successfully stifled her gasp when she saw Cressida's bruised wrist.

"I'll start from the beginning then."

And that is just what Cressida did. She told Lily everything that happened since they had parted ways earlier that day. From her quasi-argument with Tegan and her conversation with Sirius outside Honeydukes to the laughs that were shared over butterbeer at The Three Broomsticks, Cressida relayed it all to Lily. As she listened, Lily grew angrier and angrier. What should have been a memorable day for all the right reasons would be memorable for all the wrong ones.

Then Cressida began to talk about the attack itself. How Evan had successfully manipulated Cressida into letting her guard down. How he had managed to trap her in the alley with no way of escaping. How he had terrorized her and threatened to do the same thing to her little sister before Sirius arrived to beat him to a bloody pulp. The entire time Cressida recounted the terrible events, Lily was there, squeezing her hand to let her know that she wasn't alone. She may not have been there to prevent it from happening, but Lily wanted Cressida to know that she would be there for her to help her deal with the aftermath.

"Cressida," Lily began after listening to her friend's ordeal, "you never did answer my question earlier. You do know that this isn't your fault, right?"

Lily watched as Cressida finally opened her eyes again. "Who else am I going to blame? Evan? He was just being his own morally bankrupt self. I knew what he was like, but I let myself be reeled in. Even when he showed his true colors, did I run? Did I scream? No. I just stood there like an idiot and let him Stun me."

"You wanted to believe that he was truly sorry for what he did to you last term. You wanted to see the good in him. There's no shame in that, Cressa. Evan is entirely to blame for this. He knew you'd give him a chance and he used that against you."

"But even after I realized what was about to happen, I just stood there, Lily! I was so stupid."

"You were so scared, Cressa! You're human. You panicked." Lily wasn't sure if she was getting through to her or not. She wanted to believe that she was, but the look on Cressida's face said otherwise.

"Lily, there was something else Evan said that you need to hear."

"What's that?"

"He said that Severus Snape had given him the chance he needed to get me alone." Lily opened her mouth to tell Cressida that she'd already gotten an earful from Sirius about Severus's alleged role in her attack, but Cressida held up her hand to stop Lily from speaking.

"Just listen to me, Lily. Evan didn't say that he'd planned this whole thing with Snape, but he implied as much. I told you a while back that I didn't think Snape was the type. Now I'm not so sure, so I'm going to tell you the same thing I said back then. Be careful." Cressida sat up, gripping Lily's hands. She held on to them so tightly that Lily started losing the feeling in her fingers.

"I know you have to work with him for that stupid project, but don't let your guard down around him. I would die if this ever happened to you, Lily, especially if I could have done something to prevent it from happening."

"Look, Cressa," Lily began, "Severus and I--"

Before Lily could finish, the door to the room opened. Both girls looked up to see Professor McGonagall step into the room, with Sirius following closely behind her.

"What in the name of Merlin is going on here?" the professor asked sternly, glaring at the two girls sitting in the boys' dormitory.

"Sirius!" hissed Cressida. "I thought you said you'd be sitting outside the door! You said you'd let me report it when I was ready."

Sirius opened his mouth to respond, but Professor McGonagall beat him to the punch. "I do believe it was I who addressed the room, not Mr. Black. Nevertheless, I suppose that you will be happy to learn that Mr. Black was indeed sitting outside the door when I arrived. It was the Fat Lady who alerted me that something was going on in Gryffindor Tower and that I should investigate immediately."

Still standing by the doorway, the professor swiftly approached the girls. "So, I'll ask you again. What is going on--" Professor McGonagall stopped abruptly when she got close enough to see Cressida's face. "Good heavens, girl," she whispered, her usually stern visage softening with concern. "What in the world has happened to you?"

Lily squeezed Cressida's hand gently as the two of them exchanged looks. She raised her eyebrows at her friend as if to ask, Are you ready?

Cressida nodded briefly before she turned to Professor McGonagall and said, "I was attacked in Hogsmeade today, Professor."

The professor reached over and gently turned Cressida's head to the side to get a better look at the damage. "One of the villagers did this?" she asked, outrage beginning to seep its way into her voice.

"No, Professor," answered Cressida. "It was... Evan Rosier."

Although the professor said nothing in response to this, Lily could see a range of emotions parade across Professor McGonagall's face. First, there was shock as she heard that a Hogwarts student was capable of such violence. Then there was confusion as she tried to understand why one of her students would harm another in this way. Finally, as she saw the severe bruising on Cressida's wrists and began to get an inkling of what happened, her outrage returned.

"I see," Professor McGonagall said after several minutes, her voice gentle despite the rage in her eyes. "Miss Corwin, I understand why you haven't been to the hospital wing yet. However, I must insist that you go right away. While we are there, you may continue to tell me about what happened today, if you so desire."

"You... you mean you're not going to make me tell you?" Cressida asked doubtingly.

"No, I'm not. Since you've already given me the name of the other student involved, I could just go to him and question him about it, but I doubt I would get a truthful response. I'd much rather hear your side of what happened first. But if you aren't ready--"

"I'm ready," Cressida interrupted. She looked over at Lily and added, "Just as long as Lily can stay with me."

Professor McGonagall nodded. "Very well. Mr. Black, please go to Professor Dumbledore's office and ask him to meet us at the hospital wing. The password is Fizzing Whizzbee." Without uttering one word, Sirius left to follow her instructions.

"Ladies, since I interrupted you earlier, I'll go on to the hospital wing to give you a few more minutes." Professor McGonagall turned around and left the room, gently pulling the door closed behind her.

Lily stood, walked over to the nightstand, and picked up Cressida's things. She passed the boots to Cressida and waited patiently for her to put them on.

"What were we talking about before she came in?" Cressida asked wearily as she laced up her boots.

"I can't remember," Lily lied, not wanting to get into yet another debate about Severus Snape.

"I'm scared, Lily," Cressida said in a small voice. "Telling you is one thing, but telling McGonagall and the Headmaster..."

"They'll listen to you, Cressa. And I'll be there the entire time. It'll be fine, okay?"

Cressida nodded as she stood and said, "Okay."

Lily reached over and enveloped Cressida in a hug. As she patted her best friend's back, she felt an emotion that she had been feeling with increased regularity--guilt. Her attention and focus should have been completely centered on Cressida alone. Yet she couldn't help wondering what kind of affect this day would have on Severus. I know he didn't have anything to do with this. I just know he didn't...

*~*~*~*

Two minutes. When one is anxiously waiting to do something, two minutes can seem like an eternity. Severus wanted--no, needed--to get some burning questions answered by Evan Rosier, and trying to fulfill Lily's rather authoritative request was becoming harder and harder as the seconds crept by.

A few weeks ago, he wouldn't have cared what Lily Evans thought about him. But the events of this day had irrevocably changed things between the two of them. He had been fighting how he felt about her for weeks, but after today he wouldn't be able to lie to himself anymore. She had learned things about him that he wouldn't have dared breathe to another living soul. Of course, she never would have found out about any of it if she hadn't read his journal. He knew he should be angry about that, but strangely enough, he wasn't. Not anymore, anyway.

Lily had listened to him recount some of the nastier events of his life, without making judgments or casting aspersions on his character. She had been... a friend. For the first time in his life, Severus had felt what it was like to have someone like him for who he was--who he really was--and not for what she thought she could get out of him. It felt good. It felt right.

Surprisingly, being able to do the same for her had felt even better. When Lily began to get upset about her sister's hateful letter, he hadn't known what to do. Yet when she collapsed, instinct seemed to take over. Even now, he could remember how she had wept and trembled in his arms. He could remember knowing all of a sudden that the best way to calm her was to simply be there for her. He hadn't had to utter a single word; he only had to hold her.

To kill time, Severus began mindlessly putting all of his belongings in his bag, not really seeing anything. All he could see was the pleading look in Lily's eyes as she said, Tell him it's not true, Severus! Please... just tell him. She hadn't wanted to even look at him before she left. He had Sirius Black to thank for that.

Damn him! Severus thought, savagely kicking a chair over in his fury. Nothing good has ever come from spending time with that self-absorbed, pretentious prat. Why should today have been any different? The thought that Lily might actually believe him capable of doing what Black had accused him of had Severus reaching for his wand, which was still laying on the table where Lily left it.

All I need is one perfectly timed Sectumsempra aimed at Black's throat... He rolled his wand back and forth across the palm of his hand as he considered the possibilities. No. Murder will earn me a lifetime stay at Azkaban. Of course, it wouldn't actually be murder; I would be performing a public service, really. Maybe they would award me with an Order of Merlin, First Class. A parade would be nice, too. Severus allowed himself to revel in his thoughts of a world without Sirius Black in it, until his eyes rested on the clock. His two minutes were up.

He immediately grabbed his bag and exited the room. As promised, Lily and Sirius were long gone. As he dashed to the staircase to begin the descent to the Slytherin common room, Severus thought about the two of them together, making their way to Gryffindor Tower. He couldn't help wondering how much bad-mouthing Black had been able to accomplish in two minutes. Had Black managed to convince Lily that he was guilty by now? Even if he hadn't, Black had the remainder of the weekend to make his case. By Monday, Lily would probably hate him as much as the rest of the Gryffindors did.

Severus shook his head to clear the negative thoughts from his mind. Whatever was going on right now between Lily and Sirius Black was beyond his control. It wouldn't do to dwell on it. No, his energies would be better spent on something he did have control over--getting answers from Evan.

Severus sprinted down the staircase, skirting and dodging other students on his way to the bowels of the school. He made it to the dungeons and began winding his way through the maze of corridors that led to the entrance of the Slytherin common room. Along the way, he encountered a couple of fifth years who tried to engage him in conversation, but he sped right past them. Reaching his destination was far more important than frivolous small talk in the corridor.

Finally, Severus made it to the blank, stone wall, which served to conceal the entrance to the common room. He bent over, placing his hands on his thighs as he tried to catch his breath. As a Slytherin, Severus had learned early on that appearances were everything. He couldn't enter the common room out of breath and panting--it would seem like he wasn't in control. Instead, he stood outside the entrance a few moments longer, making sure that his breathing was regulated before turning to the wall and uttering, "Nobility." The hidden door to the common room slid open, and Severus stepped inside.

As he entered, Severus quickly scanned the common room in search of Evan. There were several first and second year students lounging in front of the fireplace. Judging by the number of older students in the room, it appeared that people had begun returning from Hogsmeade. However, there was no sign of Evan.

Out of the corner of his eye he could see someone approaching. He turned to see Hadrian Wilkes coming his way.

"Where is he?" Severus asked bluntly. He had no time for fake pleasantries.

"Who?" questioned Wilkes. His trademark look of befuddlement was plastered on his face. "Evan?"

"No, Wilkes," sneered Severus impatiently, "the Minister of Magic. Of course I'm looking for Evan, genius!"

"Oh," Wilkes replied, unfazed by Severus's mockery. "He's in the room, but I don't think you want to bother him right now. He got pummeled by Sirius Black today. I think he's licking his wounds... figuratively, of course."

"Right, because my first thought was of Evan literally licking himself like an alley cat. And now that I have that repulsive image seared into my brain, I'm leaving." Severus turned around and walked away, leaving Wilkes to linger in his perpetual fog of confusion. As Severus walked toward the corridor that led to the boys' dormitories, he decided that his brief interlude with Wilkes had been quite unnecessary.

If Black worked him over the way I think he did, he thought, there's only one place a narcissist like Evan could possibly be. There's no way he'd be hanging about the common room where anybody could see how bruised and bloody he is. No, he would hide himself away in a place with a mirror so he could assess the damage to his face.

When he had finally made it to the door of his room, Severus slowly opened it and poked his head in cautiously. He quickly surveyed the room for signs of Evan and found none. Only one place left to look, he mused as he entered the room and quietly placed his bag on the trunk at the foot of his bed. Not wanting to alert Evan to his presence right away, Severus crept his way to the bathroom door, which was ajar. By turning sideways, Severus was able to squeeze through the opening without disturbing the door, a feat that left him silently congratulating himself for his stealth.

Once inside the bathroom, Severus was greeted with a scene that was quite familiar to him. To his right there were three toilet cubicles. Each cubicle had a green door with a silver, serpent-shaped handle on it. To his left was a stone wall which separated the toilets from the showers. The wall was adorned with a black marble counter that had three sinks built into it. The sinks had silver faucets, the handles of which were also S-shaped snakes with gems for eyes--a ruby red eye for hot water and a sapphire blue eye for cold. Above all this was a mirror that was as long as the counter itself. As expected, Evan was leaning over the basin that was the farthest away from the door, peering into the mirror.

Of all the times Severus had entered the bathroom over the years, he could not recall ever seeing Evan in such a state. His gold-flecked, brown hair, which under normal circumstances would have been perfectly coiffed, was sticking up all over his head. Evan's left eye was so badly blackened that Severus could see it clearly from his position across the room. At the moment, Evan was gingerly dabbing at the blood that continued to seep from his split bottom lip.

Deciding that now was the time to make his presence known, Severus walked over to Evan, the heels of his shoes clicking on the stone floor with each purposeful step.

"When I heard that Sirius Black smashed your face in, I knew exactly where I would find you, Evan," Severus intoned frostily as he came to a stop beside him. Folding his arms across his chest, he continued. "Your vanity really makes you quite predictable."

Insouciantly disregarding his housemate's arrival, Evan continued to stare at his own reflection as he drawled, "Well, Severus, not all of us were blessed with a face only a mother could love." His eyes slid to the left to meet Severus's severe gaze in the mirror. "Some of us were cursed with good looks; we actually have to care about what we look like."

"Yet, day-by-day, you manage to make it through life with such a heavy burden."

"We try," Evan mumbled as he focused on his own reflection once more. "I may look like I tried to snog a Bludger, but trust me, I gave as good as I got."

"It didn't look that way to me. When I saw Black, he didn't have a scratch on him." Severus noticed a flicker of surprise pass over Evan's face before he went back to tending to his wounds.

"You talked to Sirius Black?"

"Talked might not be the best way to describe it, but there was an exchange of words."

"Well," sniffed Evan, "I may not have left any bruises on his face, but you didn't see him naked, did you?"

"Thankfully, no." Severus could actually feel the bile rising up his esophagus and into his throat as he tried to block yet another repellent image from setting up shop in his brain.

"Instead of going for the face, I got in a lot of shots to the body." To demonstrate his technique, Evan began shadowboxing his reflection. "Know what I mean?"

"Since I go out of my way to avoid fistfights, I'll just have to take your word for it."

"So, what did Black have to say?" Evan inquired a little too nonchalantly.

Severus traced a white vein in the marble counter with his fingertip. "Oh, he told an interesting tale involving you assaulting Cressida Corwin in Hogsmeade."

"Well, he's obviously lying," Evan replied as he attempted to tame his hair with his fingers. "He's just hacked off because she fancies me."

"Is that a fact?"

"Yeah," Evan answered. "It's actually pretty simple, really. Boy meets Girl for a bit of illicit snogging in an alley. Boy and Girl are rudely interrupted by Git, who's pissed off that Girl chose Boy instead of him. Boy and Git exchange words and punches. Boy decides that Girl isn't worth the trouble and leaves. End of story."

"Intriguing. In Black's version, you knocked her around a bit, but he arrived just before you tried to rape her. Said he nearly killed you. By the way," Severus said, intentionally letting amusement creep into his voice, "where did that nasty bruising on your throat come from?"

Evan reached up and rubbed his throat as he said, "Sirius Black is sick and twisted, saying that I did something like that. He saw the two of us together and flipped. Nearly crushed my throat! I don't know what happened after I left. Maybe he turned on Cressida and tried to beat her up, too. After what he did to me, there's no telling what he's capable of."

"Are you finished?" asked Severus coldly.

"What do you mean?"

"You can get most people to buy into your lies, Evan, but not me. You know better than that."

"I'm not ly--"

Severus pulled his wand out and pointed it at Evan. Through gritted teeth and with an evenly controlled voice, he said, "Yes. You. Are."

For the first time since Severus entered the bathroom, Evan slowly turned around to face him. Unconcernedly, Evan looked down at the wand.

"Get that wand out of my face, Severus," he said calmly.

Evan would probably make him pay for it later in some sneaky and underhanded fashion, but Severus didn't care. He wanted Evan to know just how incensed he was, and he had no intention of lowering his wand. "You used me to get to her today and you did everything Black said you did, admit it!"

"I never thought I'd see the day when my own friend would choose to believe a filthy blood traitor instead of me."

Severus ignored Evan's weak and fruitless attempt to make him feel guilty. "You used me," he repeated, advancing on Evan. "What kind of friend does that to another?"

"I didn't use you, Severus. Cressida and I talked about meeting up in Hogsmeade a few days ago. She said that Mudblood friend of hers would be studying with you and that we'd be by ourselves. It's not like I saw my chance to attack her and took it. Besides, even if I had, what difference does it make? That's what friends do for one another; they help each other out!"

"The difference is that Sirius Black is running around telling anyone who will listen that the two of us have been planning this out from the very beginning."

Evan rolled his eyes impatiently. "Severus, I promise you have nothing to worry about. Honestly, who do you think they're going to believe--a model student like me or a troublemaker and a slut?"

At that moment, there was nothing Severus wanted more than to blacken Evan's other eye. Yet in the midst of his fury, Severus knew there was a line he couldn't cross. To keep from acting on his impulse, he balled up his empty fist so tightly he could feel his fingernails digging into flesh.

"As your friend," he murmured scornfully, "I'm warning you now. You better make sure people know that I had nothing to do with this, and you had better hope and pray that they believe you. If I have to deal with any of the fallout from your... activities in Hogsmeade--"

"You'll what?" spat Evan, his voice and demeanor a study in vitriolic behavior. "Let me clue you in on a little secret I've been keeping for a while now. I spoke to my father about you months ago, and he said something very interesting. He said he'd never heard of a pure-blood family by the name of Snape."

On the outside, Severus wore a mask of apathy; he was the very definition of indifference. Yet on the inside, his heart was pounding out an unwanted rhythm of fear. He doesn't know anything, he assured himself. If he did, he would've shouted it from the top of the Astronomy Tower by now. This sounded good and logical to his conscious mind. Unfortunately, his subconscious was unconvinced, for now his hands were beginning to sweat as well.

Gripping his wand even tighter, Severus replied, "What is your point?"

"My father makes it his business to know which families are up to scratch and which ones aren't. The fact that he's never heard of yours says a lot. My point is this: I can make things very difficult for you, Severus. I can't prove that your lineage isn't pure; not yet anyway. But I can plant seeds of doubt within Slytherin. You'd do well to think about that before you start making threats."

The two of them stood there glaring at one another. Severus noticed the triumphant gleam in Evan's eyes. He had won this particular battle; they both knew it. Evan was right; he could make the rest of Severus's days at Hogwarts unbearable, whether he had any concrete proof to back up his claims or not.

"Now, I understand how you feel," Evan continued, beatifically beaming as much as his bloody lip would allow while slowly pushing Severus's wand away. "I'm being accused of something I didn't do, too. You're upset. So, as your friend, I'm going to forget that this nasty business took place. I suggest you do the same, Severus." As if the matter was dropped, Evan turned around to study his reflection once more.

"By the way," he added as he resumed the task of blotting away blood, "Nissa Gilchrist is pretty good at fixing up cuts and what not. Do me a favor and go get her, will you?"

Thoroughly disgusted with Evan's audacity and the situation he now found himself in, Severus slid his wand into his pocket and began to back away. "She's in the common room," he replied, his voice hollow. "Get her yourself." He turned around and quickly walked towards the door.

"You're really behaving like a child about all this, you know!" Evan called out, his voice echoing behind Severus as he responded by slamming the door shut.

A word had not yet been invented to describe just how furious Severus was. He wanted to break something--preferably something belonging to Evan. Yet he wasn't so far gone that he didn't realize what a mistake that would be. There was no way he was going to let Evan know how much his revelation in the bathroom had affected him. He stalked across the room, snatched his bag off the trunk, climbed onto his bed, and angrily yanked the dark green bed curtains closed, immediately shutting out the lamplight and shrouding himself in darkness.

"Lumos!" Severus hissed, irately throwing his wand onto the bed as his sanctum was illuminated. He upended his bag, a shower of books, parchment, quills, and other such supplies raining down in front of him. Hastily ransacking the pile of school paraphernalia, Severus quickly located his journal and his Muggle ink pen. He riffled through the pages of his journal until he found the next empty page and began violently scribbling on it.

Severus dumped every ounce of emotion he was feeling into the journal. The rage, the fear, the insecurity--all of it was scrawled across the page. He hated that he couldn't say what he really wanted to say to Evan. He hated that he was forced to describe the violence he wanted to inflict instead of actually carrying it out.

Usually, the more Severus wrote, the better he would feel. For some reason, the opposite was happening. The more he thought and wrote about how trapped he felt, the more enraged he became until he finally threw the journal down in disgust. He didn't know why, but this time, writing about his problems just wasn't enough.

Severus brought his knees up to his chest, buried his hands in his hair, and began rocking back and forth. For a moment, he considered ripping great plugs of his hair out by the root--maybe that would be an outlet for all the anger that was building up inside him like a pressure cooker.

Before he could entertain that possibility any further, Severus noticed something on the far end of the bed glinting in the wand light each time he rocked. Curious, he leaned forward onto his hands and knees to see what it was. He reached his hand forward and closed it around... Lily's locket. In her haste to de-escalate the mounting tension between Black and himself, she had forgotten all about it. So had he. While he had been preoccupied with everything that had happened in the classroom, he had shoved it into his bag along with everything else.

Severus leaned back against his pillows and held the locket in front of him. As he watched the innocuous looking piece of jewelry swing back and forth, it suddenly dawned on him why his journal had failed to assuage his wrath. He wanted to talk to Lily. Being able to verbalize his thoughts and feelings to another human being had been... freeing. For a little while, Severus hadn't felt that caged-in feeling that he normally felt. And now, he wanted to feel liberated again. He wanted to hear someone tell him that he was justified in feeling the way that he felt. He wanted a response that his journal could not give him--but Lily could.

As Severus continued to watch the locket sway to and fro, he wondered at what point he had allowed himself to become so weak. For as long as he could remember, he had been self-reliant. He hadn't been one of those needy people who needed others to tell them how to feel and what to think. Severus Snape was and always had been independent. Until now. Now, his whole sense of well-being was dependent on one girl. How could he have let this happen to himself?

If I know Sirius Black as well as I think I do, it won't even be an issue after today. She'll hate me just as much as he does--probably even more. It was becoming harder and harder for Severus to keep his eyes open. As he willingly gave himself over to the drowsiness that was beginning to overtake him, Severus thought, It's as it should be. There's no way a friendship between the two of us would ever work out. Better to end it now before I get in too deep...

Severus opened his eyes. He was in the dark again. It was an oppressive darkness that threatened to consume him. He knew exactly where he was--he'd been there so many times before. In the distance, he could make out the shapes of the trees in the hellish forest he found himself in yet again. He continued to look around to see if there was anyone else in this strange place, feeling like he was going through the motions as he did so. He didn't bother to call out--he knew no one would answer him. Yet he could feel someone watching him. He could feel eyes watching his every move. Watching... and waiting.

A wave of panic washed over him. Every response system in his body was screaming at him to run like hell from his veiled voyeur and the darkness the unseen entity wore like an Invisibility Cloak. Instead, Severus began walking. He didn't know why he was acting against his instincts. Somehow, walking seemed like the right thing to do.

Out of nowhere came a disembodied, hysterical laugh that seemed to surround him. Severus ignored the familiar laughter that followed him as he walked through the forest.

After he had been walking for some time, the incorporeal voice sneered, "Why aren't you running, boy?" Severus said nothing as he made his way through the forest.

Undaunted, the voice continued to taunt him. "Oh, I see... Trying to be brave, are we? Finally grew a pair, eh?" This seemed to amuse the voice even more, and its laughter grew in volume, echoing throughout the forest. Still, Severus said nothing as he continued to walk.

"It's good to see that you've finally accepted the truth, boy," the voice croaked. "You can't run from me. You can't hide from me. Wherever you go, I'll be there. I'm always with you, and I always will be. That's why you'll NEVER truly be one of them."

The voice's last statement stopped Severus in his tracks. That was new, he thought to himself.

"I see that got your attention," the voice cackled with malicious delight.

Against his better judgment, Severus finally addressed his nemesis. "What do you mean?" As soon as the question escaped his lips, he felt something slash at his wrists. A dark, viscous fluid was slowly bleeding from his slit wrists. He reluctantly touched the fluid, and rubbed it between his thumb and forefinger, feeling the gritty texture. He brought his fingers to his nose, and as he did, a wave of nausea hit him.

His fingers smelled of dirt. He was bleeding mud. Again.

The voice returned, only this time it was whispering to him inside his head.

"As long as you live, I'll be the dirt in your blood; the grit in your soul, boy. You can try and hide it. You can pretend that I never existed. You can play their games by their rules, but when it's all said and done, I'll STILL be here. Right here in your blood. You can't magic that away no matter how hard you try. You'll NEVER be rid of me... son." The voice began to laugh uproariously again. Its sadistic laughter reverberated throughout the forest, gaining strength and getting louder with each passing second.

Severus covered his ears to block out the aural violation, but it was no use. The screeching din was still in his head, within him and without. The collective trauma brought Severus to his knees.

Covered in his own muddy blood, Severus attempted to withstand the deafening sound of malevolent amusement, but to no avail. He silently pleaded to no one in particular, "Help me, please."

As if answering his plea, he saw something flicker in the distance. It was a pinprick of red light. He didn't know why, but the sight of that tiny speck of illumination filled him with hope. Somehow, he knew that he had to get to that light.

Severus was still bleeding and getting weaker and weaker by the moment. Yet, with great effort, he was able to pull himself up. Once he was on his feet, the light seemed to pull him, growing as he got closer to it. After he'd been walking for awhile, he noticed that the light was actually a flame--a red flame that radiated not heat, but feelings of hope... feelings of happiness... feelings of home.

The flame was strengthening him. The more he advanced on it, the quieter the voice became. He looked down at his wrists to see the gashes the voice had inflicted on him sealing themselves.

Now Severus did run. He knew that he had to get as close to the red flame as he could. His lungs could not get enough air, but he ran. His heart was beating so fast, it felt as though it would burst inside his chest, but he ran. As he sprinted toward the flame, the voice continued to fade until it was a mere murmur inside his head.

He was several yards away from the flame now, and it burned brighter than ever. Severus continued to run toward it, but was shocked when he collided with some sort of invisible barrier, bouncing back several feet and landing hard on the ground. As he took a moment to catch his breath, he looked toward the flame. He could now see a transparent wall with ripples radiating from the point of impact like the surface of a still lake that had been disturbed by a pebble skipping across it. Severus stood and slowly walked to the wall. He touched it lightly with his finger and was surprised to find that it felt like touching the surface of water. Yet his finger could not penetrate the membrane.

So close, yet so far away, he thought to himself. He didn't know why, but he knew he had to stay close to the flame. If he couldn't get close enough to touch it, he would bide his time until he could.

Severus sat down on the ground in front of the barrier, basking in the crimson glow of the fire. Even though it gave off no heat, he felt warm. The warmth came from within, as though he'd taken Euphoria Elixir. It spread throughout his body, filling him with a sense of well-being and serenity.

For the first time in weeks, Severus slept through the night.