The Awakened Sleeper

Author's Notes: Thanks to all who have reviewed and given me feedback. Also, very special thanks to PirateQueen for her awesome beta-reading abilities!

"It is impossible to go through life without trust: That is to be imprisoned in the worst cell of all, oneself."

- Graham Greene

Chapter 7

Escaping a Prison of His Own Making

The first Hogsmeade visit of the term took place on a very blustery October day. As students made the trek down the path that lead to the main gates of the school grounds, strong gusts of wind threatened to literally sweep people off of their feet, proving that autumn had staked its claim. Lily pulled her cloak tighter around herself, attempting to block the biting wind as she accompanied Cressida and Tegan to the gates.

"Are you sure you don't want to come?" Cressida asked Lily imploringly.

Lily sighed in frustration. "Of course, I want to go with you, but I just can't. I've already explained the situation a million times, Cressa. I've got to figure out this potion, and time is running out! Besides, I promised Severus I'd work with him today."

Cressida scowled. "So you'd rather spend the day in some musty old library with Snape instead of spending it with the two of us?"

"Cressida, you're being ridiculous!" Lily exclaimed as she narrowed her eyes at her. "And don't think for one second that I don't know you're trying to guilt trip me into going with you."

"I am not trying to guilt trip you into going with us. However, for the sake of argument, let's just say that I am. Is it working?" Cressida asked, her voice full of hope.

"Does it look like it's working?"

Cressida rolled her eyes as she said, "Why don't you just come with us for a little while? Then you can just come back early."

Tegan had been silently watching the exchange between the two girls. She had an aversion to confrontations, and Lily's body language was clearly demonstrating just how fed up she was with Cressida's stubborn refusal to let the matter drop.

"Look, Cressida," Tegan said cautiously, "she said she can't go. Just give it up, okay?"

"Sure," Cressida said petulantly. "Whatever." Defeated, Cressida turned around and proceeded to trudge her way through the gates.

Tegan sighed heavily as she watched Cressida walk away. "If I didn't know Cressida as well as I do, I'd probably be feeling a little rejected right now. I wonder why she was pushing so hard for you to come with us?"

Lily pursed her lips as she pondered Cressida's strange behavior. "She and Sirius fancy themselves matchmakers, and they're trying to match me up with James. The two of them probably had something cooked up. Now she's got to tell Sirius that I've ruined their plans."

"Oh, well," said Tegan dismissively. "D'you want us to bring you something back?"

Lily reached into the pocket of her robes and pulled out several Galleons. "Just a couple of Chocoballs and some sugar quills, if you don't mind."

Tegan smiled warmly at Lily. "No problem. I'd better go. Don't work too hard, okay?"

"I won't. I promise." Lily watched as Tegan jogged down the path to catch up with Cressida. She continued to watch her two friends until she could no longer see them in the distance.

With a sigh, Lily turned around and made her way back to the castle, a small part of her longing to impulsively turn around, join her friends, and skive off for the day. There were times when she wished she weren't so responsible. She sometimes wished that she could be just as spontaneous as Cressida - a blithe spirit doing what she liked with no regard for what others thought about her behavior. Yet it was Lily's unwavering sensibility that had led to so many of her accomplishments over the years; accomplishments that she was unwilling to sacrifice for even one moment of carefree abandon.

The day won't be so bad, Lily thought as she pulled her cloak even tighter. She felt no nervousness or apprehension about studying with Severus like she had a month ago. Even though he'd been a little chilly toward her since the day they had brewed their Euphoria Elixirs, Lily felt quite comfortable with him, having become accustomed to his surly disposition. Truth be told, she was even looking forward to their study session, though she would never admit it to anyone, Severus least of all.

Lily quickened her pace as she approached the front entrance of the castle. The sooner she met Severus, the sooner they could get something accomplished. As she ascended the steps leading to the castle doors she thought, I'm glad we work so well together now. I don't have to waste time worrying about what Severus is going to say or do. A small grin crept across her face. He may not be the warmest soul, but at least I know he won't be nasty to me...

*~*~*~*

Owing to the fact that it was a Saturday, as well as a Hogsmeade weekend, the library was nearly deserted. Nevertheless, Severus made sure he sat at a table that was far from the entrance, but also provided him with a view of the comings and goings of the library's patrons. He had much to think about before his study session with Lily, and he didn't want to be disturbed.

As soon as he was sure that no one was around him, Severus had taken out his journal and quietly lifted the Concealment Charm. He was now feverishly writing in it as he thought about the weeks of sufferance brought on by his many problems.

Sufferance. It seemed a rather melodramatic way of describing what Severus had been through since the beginning of the term, and yet it was apropos as well. He had trouble falling asleep at night because he was always thinking about that damnable potion. Thinking about the potion always lead to thoughts of Lily. If he finally did manage to get to sleep, he was continually plagued by his nightmares.

His nights were distressing, and his days weren't any better. Every waking moment that he wasn't in class was spent researching the potion and coming up short on results. If that wasn't frustrating enough, his plan to give Lily the cold shoulder wasn't working as well as he'd hoped it would. While brilliant in theory, the plan left much to be desired in practice. The more aloof Severus was, the nicer Lily was in response. Her odd reaction to the way he treated her only served to confuse him and made him think of her even more. By the end of each and every day, Severus would fall into his bed, exhausted and weary. His restless mind would race with thoughts of unknown potions and Lily - the brutal cycle renewing itself ad infinitum.

Severus had come to the realization that his only recourse was to figure out what type of potion they had been assigned as soon as possible. The sooner he came up with the answer, the less time he would have to spend with Lily...until next term when the whole bloody process started again with the second mysterious potion.

He now sat hunched over his journal, his lank black hair hanging over the small book as his quill scratched across the pages. Hearing delicate footsteps approaching, Severus wrote even faster as he tried to finish emptying his thoughts and feelings into the journal. He concluded his entry just as Lily set her things down on the table.

"So you started without me," Lily said as she perused the titles of the stacks of books sitting on the table. Her eyes landed on the small book that lay open in front of Severus. "What are you writing? Whatever it is, it must be really important. Have you found something?"

"No," he said tersely as he quickly closed the book and shoved it into his book sack. Severus didn't like putting his journal away without placing the Concealment Charm on it again, but as he couldn't cast the spell right in front of Lily, it couldn't be helped.

"Oh," replied Lily as she sat down in the seat opposite him. She picked up the book sitting on top of the stack closest to her and wiped the dust off of it as she read the front cover aloud. "Cruel Curses and Pestilential Potions From Abroad. You don't honestly think Professor Slughorn gave us a 'pestilential potion,' do you?"

Looking up from the book he had just pulled from the stack, Severus said, "Why wouldn't I? It's brought me nothing but your pestilent presence since I've had it in my possession. It wouldn't surprise me at all if we found it in that book." He looked away, but not before he caught a glimpse of the hurt in Lily's eyes.

Hurt quickly gave way to anger. "Right, then," Lily said as she slammed the book down on the table and opened it.

"SHHHH!" a lone fifth year Ravenclaw admonished from the other side of the library.

Severus looked up at Lily again. "If you're going to cause a scene every time I say something you don't like, you're free to leave at any time." Maybe then I can find a little peace.

"And leave the fate of my educational future in your hands?" she hissed. "Forget it! The only way you're getting rid of me today is by carrying my cold, lifeless corpse from this library. Like or lump it, you're stuck with me." Lily turned back to the dusty tome in front of her and didn't say another word.

And so the two of them sat there for the better part of an hour, neither one willing to speak to the other. Occasionally, Lily would gasp or make some other sound of disgust as she read. Every time she did, Severus was once again reminded of her presence, and his concentration would falter.

After what seemed like her hundredth utterance, Severus said, "What is your problem?"

"This is the most disgusting book I've ever read," she said. "Why would anybody want to curse someone by making them bleed from every opening in their body?"

"You were the one who insisted we search the Restricted Section. If you can't take it -"

Lily lifted her chin in defiance. "I can take it just fine. I just don't understand why they would keep books like this at a school."

"Would you rather them be out in the world? If they're here, people like Dumbledore know where they are - know that they're safe. Besides, they're very interesting to read from a historical standpoint."

Lily turned up her nose in revulsion. "Interesting how?"

Severus grabbed the book that was in front of her and began leafing through the pages. "Here it is," he said as he found the page he was looking for. "Read this potion and what its function is. Do any of the symptoms sound familiar to you?"

Lily took the book from him and began to read the page silently. Severus watched as her eyes got bigger and bigger. After a few minutes of reading, Lily slowly lifted her head and met his gaze.

"High fever, dark blotches appearing on the skin, buboes oozing pus and blood..." she whispered, her voice full of disbelief. "Does this potion cause the bubonic plague?"

Severus leaned across the table as if he were about to tell her something very secret. "Sometime during the early fourteenth century, a Chinese wizard was offended by the patriarch of a very important family. He developed this potion as a means to seek revenge. The wizard thought he was being clever delivering his revenge by magically placing an infected rat in the patriarch's home. He was so blinded by vengeance that he failed to realize that the sickness he'd created would spread not only through the patriarch's family, but to others as well. He had unknowingly caused the Black Plague, which spread throughout Asia and eventually made its way into Europe, killing millions of people in the process."

Lily, who had been completely captivated by the tale, now sat there with her mouth gaping open. When she finally regained her composure, she pushed the book away using only the tips of her fingernails, as if simply touching the book would infect her with the plague.

"Okay, it's official. I will not be reading anymore books from the Restricted Section. I'll leave that up to you, Severus."

"Just like a Gryffindor - blindly forging ahead into one thing or another and calling it courage. When it comes down to it, you're all just a bunch of spineless berks playing at bravery, really," Severus said condescendingly, his lip curling into a sneer.

Lily sat silently, her hands tightly clasped together on the table as if she were trying to restrain herself. "I don't get you, Severus Snape. We seemed to be getting along just fine. Then you started being standoffish again a few days ago. I just chalked it up to stress multiplying your usual sourness by ten. But now you're being a right foul bastard - so what's your problem?"

His eyes widened briefly, shocked at Lily's choice of words. However, Severus quickly recovered and said, "The only problem I have is being forced to spend time w-w-with y-you." Damn it, he thought to himself after trying and failing to stifle a yawn. Somehow, I don't think yawning will help to reinforce the effectiveness of that statement. Severus waited for some kind of response from Lily, but didn't get one. Instead, she seemed to be studying him - scrutinizing every feature of his face. Finally, after several minutes had passed, Lily said the last thing he expected her to say.

"I'm worried about you."

"What?" Severus asked in disbelief.

"I had no idea you were still having trouble sleeping. I should have realized it sooner. The dark circles under your eyes, the pale skin - well, paler than usual, anyway - the severe moodiness. All the signs have been there, and I didn't see them."

Severus just sat there, shell-shocked. He had been treating her terribly since she walked into the library. He'd purposely lashed out at her, hoping she would just go away. Yet here she was, concerned for his well-being. He just couldn't understand why Lily wouldn't leave him alone.

Lily misinterpreted his stunned silence as a go-ahead to continue speaking. "No wonder you've been so horrid to me. You're exhausted and the only thing you've done is work on this project, on top of all your other assignments, right?"

"Yes," Severus said grudgingly.

"This project has been utterly frustrating, and it's probably been keeping you up at night as well." Lily raised her eyebrows, awaiting a response.

"Yes, it has...among other things."

"Like what?"

Severus simply stared at Lily for a moment, thinking about the other reason he couldn't fall asleep at night. "Never mind," he said dryly as he looked away.

"Since you're too stubborn to go to the Hospital Wing, you need to figure out why you're having problems sleeping."

"All right Little Miss Fix-It; what do you suggest I do about it?"

For the first time since she'd arrived, Lily smiled. "I'm going to ignore that little comment, as well as everything else you've said to me today. That's the exhaustion talking. You're forgiven."

She's forgiving me? Who does she think she is? After calling me a bastard, she ought to be asking for my forgiveness!

"I know what you're thinking right now," she continued. "You're thinking, 'How dare she say something like that when she called me a bastard!' You're thinking that I should be the one apologizing to you, right?" A devilish smirk crept across her face as she waited for Severus to respond.

"Well, you should be apologizing to me!"

"You'll be old and gray waiting for that to happen. You were being a bastard, and that's exactly what you needed to be called at the time. So, no apologies!" She looked as though the only thing holding her back from laughing out loud was the fact that she was sitting in a library.

She's actually enjoying this! She's enjoying tormenting me. I guess she really is a damned Gryffindor, isn't she? Tormenting me seems to be the official hobby of Gryffindor House. They probably wager on who can piss me off the fastest.

"I'm so glad you're enjoying yourself," Severus said. "You still haven't answered my question: what do you think you're going to do to solve my problems?"

Lily sat back in her chair and began tugging on her locket. "I can't do anything about your insomnia, but I can do something to help you right now. I can help you to relax."

"What?" he asked for the second time that day.

"You're clearly overworked, Severus. When was the last time you did something for fun?"

"Fun?" Why have I been reduced to one word sentences today?

Lily narrowed her eyes as she studied him. "You do know what fun is, don't you? Amusement, enjoyment, pleasure, entertainment, merriment - do you need any more synonyms, or can I stop?"

Severus narrowed his eyes in return. "Ha-ha. To answer your question, it's been a few weeks or so."

"Now that's a shame," she said shaking her head to emphasize her point. "Let's see if you're ready to answer my next question: what do you do for fun?"

Severus didn't know why he was allowing Lily to continue with her ridiculous line of questioning. He took his privacy very seriously, and he never talked about himself to anyone. In spite of that, he was letting her pry into his life. Why? Curiosity. It's obviously curiosity that has me wondering where she's going with all this. I'll play along - for now.

With the decision made, Severus reached into his bag and pulled out a black book that was roughly the same size as a Muggle notebook. He held it in his hands, gingerly running his fingers along the spine and front cover, which had no writing on it.

Lily watched as he held the book the way a treasure hunter would hold a precious jewel. "That's one of the books you had with you that day by the lake, isn't it?" she asked.

Taking a deep breath to steel himself, Severus said, "Yes, it is."

"I thought it was a library book that day, but it's not, is it?"

"No," he said on a sigh. "It's a sketchbook. It's my sketchbook."

"A sketchbook? You draw for fun?"

Severus's head shot up at the question. "Is it so shocking that I have an interest in something other than the Dark Arts?" He made a move to thrust the sketchbook back into his bag, but Lily's hand caught his wrist. Severus looked at the hand gripping him and was immediately reminded of that day nearly one month ago when the two of them collided in the corridor. She had grabbed him by the arm that day as well. He had forgotten just how strong her grip was. When he finally did look at her face, he didn't see the mocking expression he'd expected to see. He saw something else - he saw respect.

"No, it isn't shocking," Lily said quietly. "It's impressive. I've always admired people with any artistic ability. My weak attempts at drawing have been complete rubbish." She removed her hand from his wrist and gave him a slight grin. "So...are you any good?"

Sure that she wasn't going to tease him, Severus began to relax a bit. "Do you think I would bother doing it if I wasn't?"

"Fine, then - can I see it?"

"Absolutely not. You asked what I do for fun, and I just told you."

"Well, how will I know if you're really as good as you say you are?" asked Lily, her green eyes sparkling with amusement. "You could be lying. For all I know, that sketchbook is filled with stick figures."

"I honestly don't give a toss what you think is in this book," Severus replied.

"Oooh, I hit a nerve, didn't I? It looks as though Gryffindors aren't the only 'spineless berks' at Hogwarts."

I hate it when she uses my own words against me like that! It's like she hangs on my every word. It's maddening...

Severus leaned across the table and said, "I have absolutely nothing in common with you lot."

The smirk that hinted at the crafty inner workings of Lily's mind returned as she said, "I think you do, but if you're so sure you don't, go ahead and prove me wrong." She sat back in her chair, folding her arms across her chest.

Normally, Severus would never have taken Lily's bait. However, the gauntlet she had thrown down - comparing him to his worst enemies - could not be ignored. Silently accepting her challenge, Severus got up from his seat, sketchbook in hand, and walked around the table to sit in the chair next to Lily's, placing the book in front of her.

Lily stared at the book in wide-eyed disbelief. "I know I was egging you on, but I didn't think you'd actually let me see your pictures." Turning to look Severus in the eye, she said, "They're personal to you, so if you'd prefer that I not see them...I'd understand."

Lily's hushed, reverent tones spoke volumes to Severus. That she was perceptive enough to intuit just how important his sketchbook was to him was unsettling and yet oddly comforting at the same time. After watching Lily stare at the sketchbook for several agonizingly long minutes, Severus said, "Well - the book isn't going to open itself you know."

"Sorry," she whispered. "I'll just get right to it then, shall I?"

Severus watched as Lily reached out to open the book, her fingers trembling slightly in anticipation. It wasn't until she had turned the first page and began reading aloud that he remembered the inscription that his mother left on that page.

"'To my beloved son' - hey!" Lily cried out as Severus hastily turned the page. "What did you do that for?"

"You're supposed to be looking at sketches, not reading private messages."

"Okay...no reading. Is there anything else I need to know before we go any further?"

Taking another steadying breath, Severus responded, "I know I'm leaving myself open to criticism, letting you look at my sketchbook. You'll undoubtedly have something to say about my work. So if you must make comments, be honest. Don't gush over it just because you don't want to hurt my feelings." He shuddered slightly as if saying anything about feelings caused him physical discomfort.

"Brutal honesty it is, then," Lily said. She turned the page and looked down to see...a dead bird sketched in pencil. "Oh...erm...it's...very lifelike," she stammered.

Severus rolled his eyes. "Stop behaving like you've just discovered I have homicidal tendencies!"

"Sorry! I just didn't expect to see a dead bird when I turned the page, is all."

"When I first started sketching, I would draw things that I saw around me. I spent a lot of time sketching animals. Since the live ones were usually in motion, I sometimes drew the dead ones instead."

"Well," said Lily, "I meant what I said. The picture is very lifelike. Strange..."

"What's strange?"

Lily looked up from the sketchbook as she said, "It's strange that I'm describing a picture of a dead bird as being lifelike. But it is. I keep expecting my breath to ruffle its feathers."

The irony of Lily's statement was not lost on Severus. Despite himself, the corner of his mouth upturned in a wonky, lopsided smile. He continued to watch as she silently flipped through numerous pictures of more animals, both dead and alive, as well as a few landscapes and a couple of still life drawings. Severus couldn't help wondering what Lily would think of the picture on the next page.

Lily turned the page and gasped at what she saw. "It's moving!"

"I know you're Muggle-born, but surely you've become accustomed to moving portraits by now?"

"Of course I have!" said Lily, slightly offended by the comment. "It's just that all the other pictures were static. I wasn't expecting it, that's all." She looked down at the page, studying the sketch closely. In the distance, two very old oak trees were standing side by side, several yards apart. There was a woman in a dark dress standing between them, turned so only the back of her body was visible. Long dark hair was violently whipping around her head.

Looking up again, Lily said, "This is the first person I've seen in this book. Who is she?"

"My mother," said Severus softly.

Lily turned to study the picture once more. "I can't see her face, but she seems sad. Was she?"

"That wasn't one of her better days," he answered with finality. Severus felt that he had already shared enough of himself. He didn't need to elaborate about the events of that particular day. Lily seemed to pick up on his reluctance to explain anything else about the picture, and she didn't press the issue.

"It's very telling that I could see that she's in pain without seeing her face. That you were able to portray her emotions so well without using her facial expressions to do it is amazing. Our faces give away so much about how we're feeling. Well," she said, quickly glancing at Severus, "most people anyway."

Ignoring her last comment, Severus replied, "Amazing? I thought we agreed that you wouldn't make any overly effusive comments."

"I'm not being effusive, Severus. I've been nothing but straightforward and truthful with you since we started working together, haven't I?"

"As far as I know, yes."

A warm grin spread across Lily's face. "Then believe me when I say that this is really good."

His right eyebrow cocked up in disbelief. Nevertheless, Severus muttered, "Thank you. Now," he continued as he began pulling the sketchbook toward himself, "I think you've seen enough, so I'll just put this away -"

"Wait!" Lily had stopped him by covering his hand with hers. Severus couldn't help but marvel at how her cool hands could send electric currents rippling through his skin. Her touch warmed him like a gulp of butterbeer on a bitterly cold day.

Unnerved, Severus slowly drew his hand back and asked, "Why?"

"Don't take this the wrong way, but your sketchbook is finally getting interesting. The sketches of animals, bowls of fruit, trees - they were beautiful, but they weren't particularly riveting. Human subjects are so much more exciting! You've captured a memory - a moment in time - and given it life again. I'm really enjoying your work, and I'm not ready for the experience to end just yet. Just one more...please?"

Severus could see the delight and anticipation dancing in Lily's vibrant green eyes. She had the look of a child eager to rip into her presents on Christmas morning. If this were anyone else, they wouldn't have even found out I had a sketchbook. Not only did I tell her about, I've shown it to her. The worst part of it is that I'm actually considering letting her continue to pry into my life. What is this power she has over me? Why am I compelled to acquiesce to her whims? It's as if she's cast some spell over me... It suddenly occurred to Severus that maybe Lily had cast a spell on him. That would certainly explain his strange behavior of late. He peered at her as if trying to find some minute clue that would expose her treachery.

Lily frowned. "Er, Severus? Are you all right?"

Severus ignored her concern as he continued to determine whether or not he was truly spellbound. The only spell he knew of that caused someone to completely bend to the will of another was the Imperius Curse. She couldn't even stand to read a book about Dark magic, and now I've got her casting Unforgivable Curses? Besides, the fact that I have the presence of mind to wonder if I'm under a spell proves that I'm not under one. Which could only mean one thing - I'm doing these things because I want to! This girl will prove to be my undoing, I just know it.

Exhaling a breath he hadn't realized he was holding in, Severus pushed the book in Lily's direction and said, "Fine. One more, that's it."

Lily's smile returned. "Thanks," she said as she turned the page. Her smile quickly faded again as she saw the picture on the next page. She said nothing as her eyes scanned the sketch, taking in everything.

Just in case there was any doubt in Lily's mind, Severus said, "That's my mother, again."

"I know. Even though the drawing is sketched in pencil, I can tell that the two of you share the same coloring." Lily's hand hovered above the drawing, as she whispered, "She looks like she's been destroyed, Severus. I know it's none of my business, but I can't help but wonder what happened to make her like this."

Severus said nothing as he also studied the image. His mother was in bed, lying on her right side. Her head was resting on her right arm, which was extended so that her fingertips were almost touching the headboard. Oily, unkempt hair that could have been his own was fanned out over her arm. Her eyes, full of anguish, were unfocused and simply staring ahead. Looking at the picture brought unpleasant memories flooding back to him. Memories of his mother lying in bed that way for three days. Memories of having to care for her like a child because she didn't have the will to do so on her own. Severus blinked his eyes, as if he could blink away the memories in the process.

"So," Lily said a little louder than necessary, "why didn't you make this picture move, too?"

Thankful for the diversion, Severus tore his eyes away from the picture as he answered, "It is moving. Look closely."

Lily bent a little closer to the image as she examined it carefully. After several minutes, Lily said, "She's breathing! I think I even saw a tiny tear roll down her face and onto the sheet." She looked up at Severus, tears glistening in her eyes. "It must have been awful for you to see her like that," she whispered as she reached out to touch his hand again.

Clearing his throat, Severus grabbed the book and shoved it into his bag. "I don't want or need your pity." He started thrusting all of his other things into the bag and stood up to leave.

Lily quickly gathered her things and trailed behind him. "Why is it that every time it seems as though we're getting closer, you close yourself off and push me away?" she asked in a harsh whisper as she followed Severus out of the library.

Now that they had made it into the corridor, he raised his voice as he said, "You know, this little relationship of ours is a little one-sided, don't you think? Why is it I have to tell you my entire life story?"

Lily was practically jogging to keep up with the long strides Severus was taking. "You want to know more about me? Fine," she said breathily, "what do you want to know?"

"I don't want to know anything about you. I just want to be left alone!"

Tired of trying to keep up with him, Lily grabbed his arm to stop him. "You keep everyone around you at arm's length, even your own housemates. What are you so afraid of?"

"I'm not afraid of anything!" But that wasn't true. Severus wasn't used to opening up to other people. He wasn't accustomed to openly displaying his vulnerabilities to anyone, and the prospect of doing so didn't just scare him - it terrified him.

"I know it isn't easy letting people in," Lily said softly. "I realize how difficult it was for you to share something so personal with me. But it's much better than the alternative."

"Which is?" Severus asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Keeping things bottled up inside. What are you going to do, Severus? Live your whole life brooding and snapping at people because you're too scared, or just too stubborn to talk to someone and let go? What a waste your life would be if you did."

Backing away from her, Severus said, "I'm not going to stand here and listen to this pointless drivel. I'm leaving." With that, he turned around and proceeded to walk away.

"Sketch me!" he heard Lily shout at his back. He stopped in his tracks and whirled around to face her again.

"What?" he asked, eying her suspiciously.

"You said our relationship is one-sided, right?" inquired Lily as she hastily walked toward him.

"I hardly see what that has to do with me sketching your portrait."

"Do you want to know why those pictures moved me so much? It wasn't just your skill at drawing. There was truth in your work. That brutal honesty you're so fond of is right there in those sketches. If you want to know more about me, sketch me. Whatever you capture in that moment, whatever it is you see, I'll share it with you - if you want me to."

Severus just stared at Lily as the enormity of what she was offering began to sink in. This girl who had been his academic rival for over five years, who he hadn't thought twice about until this term, and who he now could not stop thinking about to save his own life was offering to lay herself bare for him. She was ready, willing, and able to display the vulnerability that he himself was so scared to reveal. "Why?" he asked, failing to hide the bewilderment in his voice.

"Because you'll never learn to trust me if you think I don't trust you. And I do, you know - trust you now. I don't know why, but God help me, I do." She offered her hand to Severus as she said, "C'mon. Just let go."

Hesitating for a moment, Severus took Lily's hand. In doing so, he felt that for better or worse, his life would never again be the same.