Tears in Heaven

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?

The first time that we ever met, you smiled at me. They say babies don't tend to do that when they are still so young. You did. You gave me this huge, big gummy grin. You couldn't even respond properly the last time we talked. You were just a year old. Of course you could say 'Mama' but would you still call me Mum if you saw me again? I don't even know if you'd still regard me as your mother. There's so much I need to ask you...so much I need to know.

Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven?

I remember your eyes used to light up when I'd lean over your cot in the morning to pick you up. You would recognise me straight away. You could recognise me anywhere. Even from across the other side of the room. We shared a special bond, you and I. Would it be the same now? I hope you'd realise who I was if we ever met. I hope your eyes would light up at the sight of me again. I would light up at the sight of you. At the mention of your name. At the tickle of your breath.

I must be strong
And carry on,

I still watch you from afar. From up here. It's a paradise, apparently.

'Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven.

You're not here. And paradise for me is wherever you are.

Would you hold my hand
If I saw you in heaven?

I still remember when we were trying to make you take your first steps. You were holding onto my hand so tightly. I was your safeguard against the world. You used to automatically reach for my hand whenever you stood up. It was always there for you. It was always there for you to clutch your little fist in and help you stand strong. It always will be.

Would you help me stand
If I saw you in heaven?

What you may not realise, is that you are my safeguard. I still need you to this very day. You made me stand tall and proud whenever I was near you. We were so proud of you. Our creation. To this day, we are proud of you.

I'll find my way
Through night and day,

I don't take much notice of the world around me now. You were my world. I don't need any other.

'Cause I know I just can't stay
Here in heaven.

Wherever you go, I'll be right there beside you.

Time can bring you down,
Time can bend your knees.
Time can break your heart,
Have you begging please.

These days, I don't take much notice of the time. Minutes, hours, days and weeks all seem the same. They all create an eternal gap between you and I. I pray every day that we'll see each other eventually. It's a selfish thought, I know. I only had a couple of years with you. It's not enough. I need more. My heart breaks every time I see your pain, your tears, and your own heartache. Every time you hurt, I hurt for you. Every time you cry, I cry with you. I take away as much of your hurt that I can. If I had another day with you, I'd die for you all over again. As much as it would pain me to leave you again, I would. In an instant.

Beyond the door,

There's peace I'm sure,

I hope...

And I know there'll be no more
Tears in heaven.

I'll see you again.