Just a Thought

Sirius

I didn't understand you sometimes, even though you were the closest thing left to James that I had in the living world.

I still don't think I do, either.

Why are you putting yourself through so much more pain than is necessary? We all know you're hurting. We can see it in your eyes. Your once lustrous jade pools reflecting the happiness of the people around you have now faded into despair. Why do you want to hurt yourself so much more?

You've been through agony in your life already; I don't understand why you'd want to make it so much worse. You have to understand - it is not the end. It is not the beginning. It is just the future...we are all here, waiting. Watching you, guiding you, wishing for you and loving you.

But don't come too soon.

I know it must be hard, and believe me I do understand. Better than Dumbledore or even Pineas Nigellus can. Better than your parents can. I have lost too. I lost the people that meant the most to me in my lifetime. First James and Lily - and now you. What you have to understand is, I have now regained them. I have seen them again. I have embraced them, reassured them and have loved them once again.

And I shall do the same with you someday.

Don't make the pain worse, Harry. Be Happy...

James

No one can possibly understand the grief - unless they have been through what I've been through.

Watching your child grow is an amazing thing. From any which perspective, it is an amazing thing.

I've been watching you since you were about the size of my hand. You don't know it now, but I'm always watching. I see you playing Quidditch, I see your friendships...I see your pain.

I saw you the day you were born. Lying in your mother's arms, you were so content with the world. And in that second, we were content as well. In that second as you blinked up at me and gurgled in recognition, everything was perfect.

But it wasn't for long.

When Dumbledore told us, it hit me like a thousand shards of ice were smattering into my face. Not you, we said. Any baby but you.

But as we watched, despite our objections to your living arrangements, we saw you flourish into the type of person we had hoped you to be. You were kind-hearted, thoughtful and noble. You were perfect beyond our wildest dreams.

You still are.

Even though you don't believe it, you remain perfect to us.

Don't weep for something you can't have back, Harry. We were your past; Sirius is now your past...but we will all be in your future.

My one and only baby son, I miss you more than you can imagine.

Lily

How could you find the words to describe pain? All I can do is try.

Holding you in my arms for the very first time brought magic to my life that rarely anyone before you had been able to do. James loved you, Sirius loved you...I adored you. Our flesh, our blood...we would have done anything for you.

You were the epitome of our love. You always will be.

Of course I feel pain. I feel it everyday I see you. Not only out of my own grief, I feel the guilt at what has happened to you. You. My darling Harry.

It was unbearable seeing you grow without us by your side. You were our creation; we didn't want anyone else to take the credit.

I count the endless days as they pass, awaiting your return. I know it's selfish, but I want to hold you in my arms like I once did. I want you to know I'm here, just beyond the blackness of your memory, caressing your soul. You will return someday, and then we shall have eternity. Until then my treasured son, I will wait.

My greatest fear is that you will not recognise me when you see us again. Or if you do, that you are hesitant of our love. Would you know my name? Of course you would...but would my name be Mum...or Lily?