Forgotten

Forgotten

By Xenoia Karris

My World engulfed me

My life choked me

My heart deceived me

My soul deserted me

There's nothing else left

But you still love me.

It is midnight again. For me, it's always midnight, but my life will never be filled with stars like the sky. I've lost something, and I don't know what. I walk slowly through the graveyard as the wind scatters the dust beneath my feet. I feel cold, and confused. Something is weighing on my mind and I can't think. It's him. But who is he? I knew there was something about him...but why can't I remember?

It happened earlier in the week, yesterday in fact. I was walking through the park across the road, thinking about what to do with my spare time now. Or was I with someone? It was raining hard, but I didn't care. Then, I felt a hand on my shoulder. Turning I saw a tall, snake-like figure that grasped at my arm. Before I could move he got me in a headlock, and I couldn't do a thing. Suddenly, I noticed a crowd of people around me, all wearing long, dark cloaks and brandishing little sticks. What on earth was happening to me? Though thinking about it, I was wearing a cloak too, and I knew what was going on.

"Don't make me do it, Potter," the man hissed. Though I must confess I recognise the name, I couldn't think how, or why. But, I know I knew then. I felt something jabbing at my throat. A weapon of some kind? Probably.

"Please, not him..." said a dark haired boy. He was thin and wore round glasses, and had a most bizarre scar on his forehead. Shaped like lightning. I assumed he must have been Potter. Was he the one I had been talking to? I didn't desire to be part of this anymore, so I slammed my foot down on my captor, wrenched myself free, and ran away. No, I didn't run away...I reached inside my robe for something...I was too slow and...I heard the utterance of a peculiar word, "Obliviate!" from the man with the snake eyes...and was pushed forwards to the floor.

I lay on the ground for a few moments, breathing in the drops of rain that coated the shards of emerald grass. There was laughter from somewhere, I felt the wind sweep the fallen leaves over me, my cloak billowing out behind me. Then there was silence. I couldn't remember what was going on. I knew my name, but not who I was. People were appearing all around me, though they were rushing past me. Suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up. The boy with dark hair was leaning over me, his face filled with a desperate anxiety, and his hair plastered to his forehead from the rain.

"Are...are you alright?" He asked, helping my sit up. I blinked and looked around; there were others watching us. A red-head, a brunette, a tall man with gaunt eyes...the man with the snake eyes was gone...they all knew me. But I did not know them.

"I'm okay," I said smiling at the boy. "Thank you. Er...sorry, what was your name?" The boy stared at me, his eyes glazing with the tears he was holding back.

"Harry, Harry Potter," he said. I held out a hand.

"Draco Malfoy," I said as he shook it, closing those brilliant green eyes, his brow furrowed in despair. He took a deep, shuddering breath and looked me in the eye.

"You don't remember me, do you?" he said. What an odd thing to say. We'd never met.

"No, I'm sorry. We haven't met before, have we?" Harry Potter stared at me in silent shock, his eyes still shining, and a crystal tear dripping down his face as he said, "no, we haven't," and he reached out to flick a strand of hair out of my face. In that gesture, that gentle touch I felt a tiny tingle where his fingers brushed my skin. And it didn't feel wrong; it felt...familiar. I smiled. As I got up, I saw the man with the long hair and black eyes put a hand on the kneeling boy's shoulder. I turned around and walked away, not knowing what I was walking away from.

And so I wander these yards and parks, streets and alleys, looking for something I can never find. How can I ever find it, I don't know what I'm looking for. I lost a piece of my soul that day, and I don't know why. Ever I walk, trying my hardest to remember what came before that day. But I can't. I can't remember any of it.

***

"You don't remember me, do you?" I asked. Draco looked blankly at me, as though I was a stranger. I could feel a stab as every piece of my heart cracked.

"No, I'm sorry. We haven't met before, have we?" he said.

"No, we haven't," I replied, remembering what Sirius had said about people who's memories had been erased. Draco's silver hair was all over the place and I reached forward to move that lock of hair from his face. It was ever so slightly shorter than the rest, and always fell forward, annoying him. My vision blurred and I felt the warm, salty tears dripping down my pale cheeks, but I could do nothing to stop them. I saw him smile. A sweet kind of smile that Draco Malfoy would never have admitted to being capable of. A smile without a trace of a smirk, a smile completely devoid of memory. He didn't remember me. He walked away, and I felt a hand on my shoulder as I knelt in the grass, misery washing over me.

I cried. I cried because I loved him. I cried because he couldn't remember what we had. I cried because I had done that to him. If Voldemort wanted to make me suffer then he knew how. He'd taken away from me the one thing I would die for, that I hadn't already protected. Draco told me once that if he had to, he would die to keep me safe, and that he wouldn't let anyone harm me. But what had been done to him was worse than death; he'd given up the most wonderful feelings because he loved me. And now, he didn't even know it.

For an hour I lay back on the grass, the rain still pouring down. But it didn't matter; I was already soaked. I couldn't get any wetter. Sirius, Ron and Hermione were still with me, and they tried to make me leave. I would not go. The blankness in his usually passionate grey eyes was haunting my every second. I'd never sleep again. Slowly, as my mind made its choice, I sat up and reached into my pocket. Hermione came to my side in an instant, and I watched her hopeful face fall as she watched me ceremoniously take my wand from my pocket, and snap it in half.

"No..." she whispered, reaching out to touch my hand. I took her hand in mine for a moment and she came closer.

"We can reverse the spell Harry, at least we can try," she said. But I knew otherwise. Voldemort wouldn't have used the memory charm lightly. He'd erased Draco's memory of almost his whole life. To try to reverse that would leave Draco in a state worse than simply leaving him to forget would. I stood up and hugged Hermione, dropping the pieces of my wand and walking away. I heard their voices calling after me, but I did not turn around. I walked away.

I can see him now. He's in the graveyard. He's walking again, pacing, reaching. His mind is searching desperately for something. For me. He knows he's lost something good, but he can't remember what. The sky is clear tonight and I can see his silver silhouette as the moon casts its beautiful light down on him. I can see him clearly now, he's facing me. He's coming towards me, but he can't see me. The lines of his face are strained into a frown. The frustration of not being able to remember is making him grow tired and angry. Suddenly, he brings his fist down against the stone of a nearby grave. It is in the shape of and angel, but one of the wings is broken, and I see him fall to the ground, weeping and cradling his bleeding hand. The blood drips to the floor and shines like liquid silver. I can bear it no more.

I step down from my dark wall and stumble towards him, my feet scuffing graves and knocking over flowers. As I step up beside him, I see him look up. He wipes his face, smearing it with the blood from his knuckles. His grey eyes searching me, trying to reach beyond my gaze to something deeper, and I saw it. A flash of memory flitted across his face. His fresh tears are still glistening in the moonlight, and I reach down to wipe them from his face. He looks so innocent and confused. I sit down beside him, holding his bleeding hand, wanting nothing more than to sooth him and make him feel love again.

"Who am I?" he says to me, his voice quivering. I can feel my heart breaking with every word he says. I hold him in my arms, letting him cry gently into my shoulder as I feel my own tears falling freely down my face. And suddenly, he leans back and looks at me. His face is sad, but he leans closer and brushes his lips against mine. I freeze, shock sweeping through me. He remembers? I don't know.

"Draco? Do you remember?" I say. He looks sad still, but keeps his gaze fixed on mine.

"I remember one thing. Love." His face is serious, silent tears still gracing his cheeks, but his eyes are fierce once again, and I felt my heart soar. The aching pain disappeared, and was replaced with longing. A longing for Draco. I smile and I see him do the same. His hand reaches for mine, and I pull him closer into an intense kiss, tasting the salty tears and the blood, but all I care about is him. All I think of is being together, because he forgot everything, but he didn't forget me.